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@@brendaleigh7834 I was thinking the same thing. Men ask for breaks and normally what they do is use that time to pursue or have sex with other women and then tell the person they took the break from that "we were on a break". I believe you know or you don't. Its that simple.
It's definitely based in fear, whether just a moment in FOMO or he has someone particular in mind. Either way, he's not ready and needs to decide to fish or cut bait. Don't make yourself look way too understanding. A little maybe, but not a whole lot. 😂
If you are The One, guys move in fast to lock you down. We’re talking months here at the most. Guys don’t wait years to commit if you’re the one. If not, you’re just a placeholder. Stop wasting time and let him go so that you can find the guy who see you as The One.
Just had a similar experience. He went wobbly but pulled away and didn’t ask for a break. Instead he said he still wanted me in his life but didn’t want to commit. Just be friends.
Great advice, Mat. Many years ago, when I was facing a situation similar to your client, or when I received a rejection letter for a job I had wanted, I learned to say “If not this one, God, then something better.” Something better was always what I ultimately ended up receiving.
You said that, when the one you are dating what's a break, you should start focus on those things you didn't had time to do when you were with him. Things that you love doing and that makes you feel good. But if you have to sacrifice, f.ex. training, yoga walking in nature, swim, - things that makes. Your body and mind better, - then it isn't right. You shouldn't have to give up such things for anyone. Just saying 💓🙏
I love all your videos. I haven’t been in a long term relationship in four years. Exploring all these topics from your kind and understanding perspective has shown me that with every relationship obstacle there is a way to move forward. I truly believe that I’m now capable of finding the right partner for me and growing that partnership into something I could never have imagined possible before listening to your advice. You handle each topic in a way that truly resonates with me and doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong, but empowers me and educates me to choose a better path forward. I’m a recovering fearful avoidant and on the path to secure attachment, in part thanks to you. Keep doing what you’re doing! ❤
Don't we all need to figure out what we want from a job, relationship or our lives? Is it always so clear that you have met the person you want to live your whole life with? Just like that after few months or dates together? Why we think men should know what they want when they meet us women? Why can't they hesitate? Many people have hurt themself in previous relationships and want to be sure before entering a new serious relationship. Some might be afraid, that they will end up hurting you, so they give you a chance to find a better person...
In my opinion a break indicates that you are not sure about us and want to find a way to start to create some type of distance in the relationship so that you won't feel so guilty ending it. If a break is requested, I am either going to end it and tell you find me in the future and if I am available, I will consider you then OR I am going to tell you yes you can have a break but during said break-I will be dating other men. I am not trying to be mean but I firmly believe that men know what they want. That guy in the example Matt used wanted a break because he realized that her heart was getting involved and they were getting closer and she would want more than what he knew he didn't want. I am impressed that he asked for the break because most men would have kept the relationship going and then cheated or left suddenly and that would have hurt worse than what he did so in the end she was better off.
Ladies by all means give HIM the 30 days break. You can use this time to ENJOY going out on dates with other men. It's not cheating because this is an agreed 'break'. No need to disclose should the relationship be back on.
I respectfully disagree. Unless very young, asking for a break may be understandable. But if one is late 20s/30s or up and a break is requested, assume it is a break up. If a man asked me for a break, I would not ask , “how long of a break?”. I am not negotiating and I will have no regrets. It is not me playing a game or an ultimatum, I am too grown for this and I don’t believe in “it it’s truly meant to be (fairytale), you will come back together.” No, you find someone compatible and you choose each other to make a commitment and make it work. If he wants a break, l allow him to sink the ship because that is his decision, not mine.
Id just go and live my life. Maybe he was a gift at that time. The problem is when they come back and go then come back, thats when you use your bounderies 😮😊❤
I've had a friend who's going through a 'break' with the guy she's been together with for the past year and she's super invested but he's not been matching her energy. He just asked if they could have a break for the next month which has totally devasted her, which from what you're saying is a good way to see if there's a grounded connection. But it hasn't been a clean as he still wants to meet on the weekends for dates. I already told her I don't agree with this but she's set on it. Today was the first day of their new normal but he already showed he doesn't value her time. I'm not sure what more to do to support her now
If she did not see the lack of balanced energy this whole last year how can she see it just on weekends? She will be better off without him and that is where it will go, her decision if she wants to wait for it or ends it now herself.
Sometimes people request a break when they want to try out different dating options. You cannot just treat some one like a toy you can play with as and when you feel like it.
If a person is unsure about a relationship it is better to ask for a break than to ghost or cheat. If a break is necessary as the start for taking the relationship to the next level and to re-evaluate the partner it is a good investment. Additionally to the time frame other conditions need to be defined, like if that break includes having sex with other people which then of course applies for both parts.
I asked my boyfriend how long he wants his break and he doesn’t specify and he calls me babe and says he loves me. He also tells me about future plans with me but doesn’t say anything about present plans especially that our birthdays are coming up
Well if that's the case I'm just saying we weren't never together and never going to be together so no worries because no other man has been with me offline in any way like that for 18 years it would be more than a break there wouldn't be anything on being together. The person does not need to be in my account does not need to screw with my account not nothing like that and not to ever bother me again like that not with any content or any of that
Join the Manifest Your Man program and get coached by Mat Boggs TODAY : www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/love-relationships/resources/mym/offer/strategy-session
I would say something similar to, "I'm going to miss you, but I respect your decision.'
I feel a true masculine man would not step back to think... he either knows he wants you or not
Exactly. He wants to pursue other women.
And if he's not sure, it's not up to me to convince him.
@@brendaleigh7834 I was thinking the same thing. Men ask for breaks and normally what they do is use that time to pursue or have sex with other women and then tell the person they took the break from that "we were on a break". I believe you know or you don't. Its that simple.
In my experience, when a man wants a break, its usually because he wants to pursue another woman. I lock the door on that!
It's definitely based in fear, whether just a moment in FOMO or he has someone particular in mind. Either way, he's not ready and needs to decide to fish or cut bait. Don't make yourself look way too understanding. A little maybe, but not a whole lot. 😂
He is open to other options..
Yeah, I agree
I don’t agree I think if you give them a few days that should be enough time
if that was the case, then Matt wouldn’t be saying the opposite babe
If you are The One, guys move in fast to lock you down. We’re talking months here at the most. Guys don’t wait years to commit if you’re the one. If not, you’re just a placeholder. Stop wasting time and let him go so that you can find the guy who see you as The One.
Exactly! ❤🎉
Even if the Sun is alone, it keeps shining on its own. Keep it in mind women.
I love this! ❤
Just had a similar experience. He went wobbly but pulled away and didn’t ask for a break. Instead he said he still wanted me in his life but didn’t want to commit. Just be friends.
Great advice, Mat. Many years ago, when I was facing a situation similar to your client, or when I received a rejection letter for a job I had wanted, I learned to say “If not this one, God, then something better.” Something better was always what I ultimately ended up receiving.
You said that, when the one you are dating what's a break, you should start focus on those things you didn't had time to do when you were with him. Things that you love doing and that makes you feel good. But if you have to sacrifice, f.ex. training, yoga walking in nature, swim, - things that makes. Your body and mind better, - then it isn't right. You shouldn't have to give up such things for anyone. Just saying 💓🙏
I thoroughly enjoy your videos. Been married for 40 years.
I love all your videos. I haven’t been in a long term relationship in four years. Exploring all these topics from your kind and understanding perspective has shown me that with every relationship obstacle there is a way to move forward. I truly believe that I’m now capable of finding the right partner for me and growing that partnership into something I could never have imagined possible before listening to your advice. You handle each topic in a way that truly resonates with me and doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong, but empowers me and educates me to choose a better path forward.
I’m a recovering fearful avoidant and on the path to secure attachment, in part thanks to you. Keep doing what you’re doing! ❤
A break is a breakup
Wow.. Great piece
I really enjoy your videos.
Don't we all need to figure out what we want from a job, relationship or our lives? Is it always so clear that you have met the person you want to live your whole life with? Just like that after few months or dates together? Why we think men should know what they want when they meet us women? Why can't they hesitate?
Many people have hurt themself in previous relationships and want to be sure before entering a new serious relationship. Some might be afraid, that they will end up hurting you, so they give you a chance to find a better person...
Thank you, Matt. I needed to hear this
How about I would like a break? Does that apply too? Wow. Profound. I think I gotta break up with the internet for awhile, its a bit codependent. 😮😂
I think a break is only acceptable if it is a new relationship, it is time limited and you both agree not to see other people.
great advice! just heads up I think your project everlasting URL might no be working.
Who here knows how can I get a session talking to mat??
See the description. Link is there.
I ll give you a Break for the rest of your life ...this is SAD !!😂😂
😂
Matt, they say men don’t take breaks. If they not doing you they’re doing someone else. True or false?
True
What about mental problems nobody says anything. They watch too much porn that’s why!
I think true, too. 😢
In my opinion a break indicates that you are not sure about us and want to find a way to start to create some type of distance in the relationship so that you won't feel so guilty ending it. If a break is requested, I am either going to end it and tell you find me in the future and if I am available, I will consider you then OR I am going to tell you yes you can have a break but during said break-I will be dating other men. I am not trying to be mean but I firmly believe that men know what they want.
That guy in the example Matt used wanted a break because he realized that her heart was getting involved and they were getting closer and she would want more than what he knew he didn't want. I am impressed that he asked for the break because most men would have kept the relationship going and then cheated or left suddenly and that would have hurt worse than what he did so in the end she was better off.
If he wants a break..does that mean he wants to look for someone else..😢
Ladies by all means give HIM the 30 days break. You can use this time to ENJOY going out on dates with other men.
It's not cheating because this is an agreed 'break'. No need to disclose should the relationship be back on.
I respectfully disagree. Unless very young, asking for a break may be understandable. But if one is late 20s/30s or up and a break is requested, assume it is a break up. If a man asked me for a break, I would not ask , “how long of a break?”. I am not negotiating and I will have no regrets. It is not me playing a game or an ultimatum, I am too grown for this and I don’t believe in “it it’s truly meant to be (fairytale), you will come back together.” No, you find someone compatible and you choose each other to make a commitment and make it work. If he wants a break, l allow him to sink the ship because that is his decision, not mine.
This one you are right
Well said! 👏🏻
Id just go and live my life. Maybe he was a gift at that time. The problem is when they come back and go then come back, thats when you use your bounderies 😮😊❤
Awesome advice! I love this so much. Thank you for sharing!❤
I've had a friend who's going through a 'break' with the guy she's been together with for the past year and she's super invested but he's not been matching her energy. He just asked if they could have a break for the next month which has totally devasted her, which from what you're saying is a good way to see if there's a grounded connection. But it hasn't been a clean as he still wants to meet on the weekends for dates. I already told her I don't agree with this but she's set on it. Today was the first day of their new normal but he already showed he doesn't value her time. I'm not sure what more to do to support her now
The truth is he wants to continue to have s*x with your friend while he looks for another relationship.
If she did not see the lack of balanced energy this whole last year how can she see it just on weekends? She will be better off without him and that is where it will go, her decision if she wants to wait for it or ends it now herself.
Sometimes people request a break when they want to try out different dating options. You cannot just treat some one like a toy you can play with as and when you feel like it.
If a person is unsure about a relationship it is better to ask for a break than to ghost or cheat. If a break is necessary as the start for taking the relationship to the next level and to re-evaluate the partner it is a good investment. Additionally to the time frame other conditions need to be defined, like if that break includes having sex with other people which then of course applies for both parts.
I asked my boyfriend how long he wants his break and he doesn’t specify and he calls me babe and says he loves me. He also tells me about future plans with me but doesn’t say anything about present plans especially that our birthdays are coming up
I had an ex tell me he needed space a week after he told me he loved me.
Well if that's the case I'm just saying we weren't never together and never going to be together so no worries because no other man has been with me offline in any way like that for 18 years it would be more than a break there wouldn't be anything on being together. The person does not need to be in my account does not need to screw with my account not nothing like that and not to ever bother me again like that not with any content or any of that
@matboggs uring the break do you define the ability to date and being intimate wiyh others? if the two don't agree do you stillgive the space?