i hate my hair
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- when a hair tutorial turns into a rant
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feel free to comment your type 4 hair experiences down below (i will be reading them all)
It took me 5 years to learn how to fix my hair, but all the practicing is worth it! I still don't know how to cornrow though...
I wanted Moesha braids one time and they came out horrible. The worst part was that *she used a lighter* to seal the ends and burnt off all my ends in the process. After two more similar experiences of my hair being ripped off by blowdryers or heavy hands, I eventually learned how to braid my own hair and nobody else has touched my hair in 3 years. The phrase bald-headed still makes me shiver.
I went to a PW middle school that fed into a PW high school. The amount of colorism from other black people a blatant racism was insane. One time I wore my Afro out and some guy was making a joke out of sitting behind me and not being able to see. He would do inappropriate stuff like ask me if I like bbc and shit. It was gross. So yeah traumatized and the amount of old people who talk about “good hair” they only say that to the boys, girls get criticized way more for having the same texture in my experience. I’m doing everything in my power to rewrite it the way my mom and GMA did.
The guy was white btw, completely diff from someone else who sent me black face w sharpie. So yeah…
Starting with the beginning of my teen years after mainly having relaxed hair years prior i decided to do a big chop and embrace the natural. This was a hard time for me because it was very short and coily and i didn't know how to maintain it. I once went to school with it wild and free because i thought it would have the same affect as those with 3a curls and was BRUTALLY made fun of but now i just look at it as apart of my hair acceptance journey so its okay! P.s I’m growing in loving my hair more and more everyday :)
I don’t hate my hair. I hate that I always have to think about my hair. I want the carefreeness, that’s what I’m jealous of
That’s why I love my twist and invisible locs it’s the closest I can get to being carefree
one word: locs 🌸🌴✨
Exactly 😭😭
I love my hair I just wish it didn’t take hours for me to do every time
This right here
“my hair is everyone’s business. it steps into the room before i do” YES. it’s absolutely a black girl thing and i can RELATE. we were programmed to find so much shame in our hair. as a 4c girly it took me soo long to learn to love/take care of my hair and finally find confidence wearing it out and honestly that it’s so sad we even have to feel that way.
I shave my head and it's still the topic of conversation. 10 years later.
when I hate my hair I HATE it, but when I love my hair I LOVE it. 🤷🏾♀️
Real
literally
i remember getting my hair straightened in a salon (i have type 4) and my brothers who have much looser hair than i do came in with my mother mid way. the hairdresser exclaims “what a shame, the boys have the good hair and the girl doesnt” and i remember bursting into tears in that chair. i was 11/12 🥲🥲
How terrible I hope your mum stuck up for you
im sorry ☹️
That’s so mean 😢 did your mom say anything?
guys my mom did not stand up for me lol, this was a dominican hair salon and my mom is dominican so they just laughed about it but it did get awkward after i started crying haha
woow
I never change my hair style because I hate going into work having to hear all the non Black people making a big deal about it. It’s extremely annoying. No one says anything when they change their hair..
No because this is so real, I used to dread going into class with new hair because i knew I’d have deal with people commenting on it
omg same... i wore max 2 different hairstyles when i was in high school bc i didn't want people to make a big deal like i didn't even want compliments atp like just leave me alone 😭
@@kiannanaomiisame
I don't care. I still change my hair thankfully I live in NY and most people know better. I only have 1 annoying coworkers who might comment and I just avoid talking to her lol
That’s why when I first got the job I wore my 5 main hairstyle everyday so they’re used to it.
I think a part of the “difficulty” with natural hair is that we always feel like we need to do something to it and try new styles and products. Once I gave up feeling like I needed to go from one style to the next and just embraced a simple weekly routine (blow dry and twist out) I’ve mastered and been doing for years and I only try new styles when I want to, which is a few times a year. It’s okay to look the same and not constantly have to switch it up and do elaborate styles unless you truly want to and enjoy doing so. No other race is held to this standard. My hair is no longer a whole production, 12 acts out the year lol, which alleviates a lot of stress ( and saves a lot of money).
I absolutely love this comment! I talk about this a lot on my UA-cam channel 💕
I'm looking forward to this when I can find a style i feel looks consistently good
this!!! i have been thinking of this lately but other hair types wear their hair down or in a ponytail like 90% of the time. if anything, it’s probably more convenient.
i have a lazy ish natural routine now of twist outs and braid outs. when i try to switch things up, I get breakage (fine hair issues). was talking with my mom, but like if 2-3 styles fit me, that’s ok. I just do twistouts/braid outs slap it into two big puffs or a fro and go. i’m a student and have other things to do no cap
@@maremarechiqkahh i love your recent videos 🫶🏾
I would love that but it doesn't suit as much as braids but with braids i have to worry about it getting old snd staying neat and all that
I don’t understand why the black community suddenly started shaming bw for not wearing their natural hair. Last time I checked, the natural hair movement is still VERY new. Most of us grew up getting our hair relaxed and being told we look “unkempt” if our natural hair isn’t straightened. Now, all of a sudden, we’re supposed to do a 180 and fully embrace our hair in its natural state??? LIKE GIVE US SOME TIME TO ADJUST
I think it would help if more of us started wearing protective styles that mimicked our actual hair texture too. Straight hair wigs are the norm rn so it’s not surprising that some people question if we hate our hair
I’ve been thinking about this a lot because I grew up with relaxers since I was like five or six. I love my natural hair now but straight hair just feels more familiar at times because it’s what I grew up with my whole life & it’s always been faster/low effort to do
@@benej9356yup that’d be a start at least. Instead of silky straight what about Afro straight wigs? Start somewhere don’t be selfish and just avoid facing your hair altogether
this level of compassion is SO important!!
@@amaude ❤️❤️
Thank you for talking about how strange it is to receive hair hate from fellow black girls. I recently posted a video on TikTok showing some pink and blonde French curls that I did on myself. The video went viral and over the last 2 weeks I have been receiving hate comments on how I parted the back of my head (I will admit it’s not neat but what I can’t see is not my business!) and it got so bad that I had to turn off the comments. It was just baffling to me to be receiving hate from people who looked like me and understand the experience of not being able to get your hair professionally done because of the prices (on top of that I’m a college student) so thanks for talking about this stuff ❤
I’m sorry that happened,but I wish we could be honest and not act surprised our own people can be our biggest haters,we have the same skin but we all don’t think the same unfortunately
@@HandleBerriesit is unfortunate though because we put up a united front when it comes to racism but turn against each other when we’re the only ones in the room. It sends mixed signals to each other & the world
@@itsamarijai yea,trust other races notice that they TALK about it,we are unfortunately not “United” people anymore,before we can check anyone on the outside though we have to her ourselves together first,that’s why it looks kinda funny we talk about racism,but are racist and hateful to each other :/
@@itsamarijaiThere is NO united front when it comes to racism, unless you are talking about EXCLUSIVELY Black men and when the media blows it up like with BLM and G. Floyd.
If you are planning on entering the workforce in the U.S. and working outside a majority Black area, you will see for yourself .
Having type 4 hair and being tender headed is quite literally my roman empire. When my mom still did my hair blow drying was just me being a crying snotty mess and my mom threatening to shave my head which would make me cry more. I’m happy I’ve learned how to get through wash day without shedding tears anymore.
I can really relate to this. I’m also tender headed and my dad used to ask me when I was younger if it wasn’t for the best to shave or cut my hair and it really hurt me. To him, it feel like my hair was a problem. My mom however always was happy to help me with my hair even though it hurt her to see me cry in pain. Now I can also get through wash days without crying now which is fantastic. I feel so blessed and thankful.❤
same!! even when my mom tried to be sensitive, it would always end in tears. i was even more terrified when my aunts or family friends volunteered to do my hair cause they would just expect me to suck it up. plus i couldn't go to the hair salon till i was in my mid teens' cause i always caused a scene from crying. getting to do my own hair now is so freeing.
Hey Kianna! I’m a Black girl here who also grew up in these systems and was over-reliant on wigs. The minute I took personal responsibility for loving my hair and stopped blaming it on external things was the moment I was liberated. I threw out all of my wigs and have been embracing my 4C hair ever since, regardless of length. This is my personal journey. I love your content sis 💕
Love thissss
Although I’ve never asked to see another girl’s “real” hair, I do find it helpful seeing what someone’s natural hair texture is without anything done to it. This is simply to give myself realistic ideas on if I can achieve a hairstyle they may be showing 🤷🏾♀️
I think the issue is that the curiosity becomes social pressure because *everyone* is asking and maybe that girl isn't comofrtable doing it that moment,
Yes this! I like to know because I want to know if their amazing hair texture and styles is a result of products and styling that I can achieve or is it a result of wigs, weaves, etc, either is fine but I do like to know for myself instead of wondering "why is my hair the only one that's tough?"
My relationship with my hair got better when I forced myself to wear it everyday and simplified my routine to the bare minimum, I’m still learning how to do it and not every style works but it’s a trial and error
I'm Latina, and it's just as difficult to have type 4c hair here. I grew up hearing that my hair was bad (cabello malo o moño malo), which is what they call my type of hair here. I don't hate my hair; I love it, and I wanted society to love it too. Our hair is super versatile and beautiful, even though it can be very complicated sometimes. ❤
my vibe has been just to braid it up in a protective hairstyle, wearing really awesome wigs and take it out when it gets my desired length 😭🫶🏽 love ur videos
I want to start wearing wigs/weave but I heard it takes out your edges, and my edges are thinning out already. Not sure if that’s true or not, or people aren’t installing them correctly
@@Camillatheenigma Honestly this is still so true. To counter that, i usually just take my wigs off each night or atleast every two days. i’ve definitely been a victim of my hair being pulled out bc of the clips 😭 but it was because i let OTHERS install them. when you do it yourself i think naturally you just do it with better care 🫶🏽& make sure to secure it but not too secure where daily removal is stressful (sorry for my ramble, hope that helped ! :)
same!
@@NiyahStyles this really did help, I just bought some clips from Amazon and gonna install them myself, thanks sis☺️ 🫶🏾
@@Camillatheenigma i’m so glad it helped girl 🫶🏽🫶🏽!
I have low porosity 4C hair, and it took me 10 years to nail down a routine that allows my hair to thrive. I started going natural in late high school, and my mom bashed me a lot for refusing relaxers, and nobody really knew how to deal with natural hair. Once I got to college, I had shoulder-length natural hair, and the natural hair movement was very up and running. However, a ton of 4A hair people were making claims they had 4C hair, which completely messed up my haircare routine. I kept trying to do what they did, which didn't work for my hair at all. Also, anytime somebody would say they didn't have 4C hair, there would be a massive amount of rude comments saying that we don't moisturize or take care of our hair. If we did, it would be loose, and the curls would be defined.
Midway through college, I learned to do passion twists and stuck to that and wigs. In 2024, I noticed bald spots in my hair, and after going to a dermatologist, she told me I needed to stop the twist now. I was so distraught. I didn't think there was anything I could do with my hair to make it look nice without tension. I had heard about wash and go, but the natural hair community had always said 4C HAIR CANT DO WASH AND GOS. If you do so, be prepared for all your ends to know up, spend 8 hours detangling, and loose half your hair. I was mortified by the idea of doing so because of the catastrophic damage the natural hair community said it would do to me. Plus, I matted my hair before sleeping on it, and it was a terrible experience. Lets not forget how people made it to a day long process using 10 different products and raising the water bill.
After doing 3 hours of research, I discovered the Anthony Dickey haircare method. Basically, the method is to condition your hair every day and once a week. And no, I didn't need to sleep with it overnight and get conditioner all over my pillow or use half the food in my kitchen to make a special hair elixer. Just put a massive amount or regular conditioner on the hair and leave it for 5-10 minutes. After rinsing, put on gel, shake your hair, and that's it. MY HAIR ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. My hair is now constantly soft, has less breakage, and I don't have to do tight styles anymore (mind you, I'm tender-headed too).
The only thing I'm having trouble with is the shrinkage and managing the breakage I still get. Yes, shrinkage is a sign of health, but I don't want my 10 inches of hair to shrink to 2 inches. I'm discovering that blowdrying with gel in your hair causes it to freeze in place. So I just pull the hair a little as I blowdry. Alternatively, I can shower at night, add gel or hair grease, and put it in two loose ponytails. The hair comes out stretched at the top and coily at the bottom. Regarding breakage, I can just tone down the detangling every day. I could actually use another trim but I already chopped off 4 inches. No more chopping for awhle!
As a final thought, 4C HAIR IS NOT LOOSE, SHINY, OR DEFINED. 4C hair is designed as tight, tight coils in which each strand is doing its own thing. If you add gel, it will clump, but it will still be fluffy and not like the curls or coils you see on other textures. Because of the structure of the hair, it naturally does not catch the light in a way that it reflects back and shines, and all of that is okay.
I hope this is helpful to someone!
Thank you for this
why is "she does all kinds of hair" always triggering for me 😂 i always hear that then ask upon asking the stylist they truly don't have experience with all hair. unless the hairstylist is black or has children with my similar hair type I always vouch to do it myself! love that you stood up for yourself
Hi love!!! Something that made a difference for me was naming my hair. It built a more personal relationship ♥️♥️😘😘
yes! this helps so much 🫶🏾💕
Yesss 😩 so frustrating having to explain or outrun shrinkage as a black woman because I don’t want to feed into the stereotype of black woman having short hair. But shrinkage =health 😩
I know right, it's an interesting contradiction.
shrinkage is healthy but if you want to retain length stretching is good bc it just minimizes knots/tangles. it’s ok to style our hair, i have no idea why we’ve become conditioned to think otherwise… women of other hair types style their hair regularly either for hair health reasons or for aesthetics. it’s tiring for us to have to put all these fake rules on ourselves
You really shouldn't care about that stereotype cause the only people who believe that are people without our hair type who dont interact with it , so it's coming from a place of ignorance and you don't need to educate them or make a point to show you have hair, they will believe what they want
@@wiiaoio3865 well said ‼️
I think calling bw bald or saying our hair is short feeds into texturism. Comparing bw’s hair to other races hair is texturism . Bw’s hair tends to appear shorter than it actually is because of shrinkage from our curl patterns. It forces for bw to straighten and stretch their hair a lot to prove to other they aren’t bald or their hair isn’t as short as it seems. In the long run of trying to please others we damage our hair when stretching it out of its natural state continuously.
I feel this so much, as a 4c biracial girly who grew up with my white family members taking care of my hair I was felt so much pressure in the fact that I didn't know how to do my hair nor was anyone willing to help me learn. I hated wearing my hair out in a curly fro because it was deemed "messy" and a "lazy" hairstyle when it's just my hair. All the girls at my school had 3a-3c hair, or just wore it pressed out most of the year (which my hair hated). It made me want to just wear braids so I didn't have to come face to face with this scary, confusing, thing that nobody taught me how to care for. I was so ashamed of my hair, and now at 17 i just wanna give younger me a big ol hug and tell her how beautiful her hair is, and it's just as special and deserving of love like the looser curl girlys.
I can relate, I’m happy you have come to a point where you are happy with your hair.❤Sending love.
Sorry you feel this way, I recommend Coilette on yt, she made me find more love for my hair. I’ve pretty much worn it naturally my whole life I feel your pain though. It’s important to remember to be wise with how you speak about yourself and remember that trying to align with European beauty isn’t your own so you’ll fall deeper into self hatred. Sending much love for your journey.
nice pfp
kianna for what it’s worth you’re one of the youtubers who has helped me so much to embrace my natural hair 💕 your hair is so beautiful as are you
I'm so glad the director was there to make that situation better for you! And you look gorgeous with that hair. Love the the natural & fluffy straight look.
whew. i was right there crying with u. we’re so hard on ourselves as black girls. it’s always self hate this self hate that, but nonblack girls are able to freely say that they prefer their hair straight or curly without it being perceived as an attack on themselves. the crown we wear, though gilded and beautiful, is so heavy sometimes.
i will say that with time and radical acceptance, the burden becomes easier to bear.
I relaxed hair for a very long time, GOT SICK OF IT!! Then I big chopped and it felt wonderful, so easy to manage a baby fro. It grew and became stressful and expensive to maintain. So I just kept doing braids until I finally made another decision that felt so big: start locs. It's been 6 months of pure bliss.
It’s one thing to say “I hate my hair” and another thing to say “I hate the way people treat me because of my hair”. Self hatred is a hard, lonely battle, wishing you the best on your journey ❤
If you hate it, It will hate you back I had to learn that the hard way. Now I’m truly in love with my hair and I don’t covet other people’s hair.
Exactly.
The way my heart just DROPPED! This whole time I didn't know you went to LMU for uni and that's literally where I go 😭 I'm glad you clocked the tea though cause LMU has had so many reports against them for discrimination these past few years. Anyway, I love your videos so much!! You're one of very few UA-camrs that I'll click that notification bell for ❤
Kianna I feel you but we have to try our best to love it I know I’m trying
same was literally debating shaving my head the other day 😭
girl me too 😭😭😭
I shaved mine in high school cause I didn't have time to wash and style it anymore. There's pros and cons
@@quiqui6424 really? i'm in high school too and i wanna shave it too; how was your experience?
@sun_vib3z I shaved it back in 2017. It was fine mostly. I did notice that Black people came up to me a lot less to talk about hair. So I miss that feeling of community. Barbershops are weird. Some can be very cishet macho and that made me uncomfortable. But it was cheaper to buy some clippers and just do it myself. I don't buy hair products anymore (my shit is dry don't be like me lol) so it saves money. It's just cheaper. If I wanna feel like I have hair I just put on big earrings
@@quiqui6424 ohhh okayy, thanks for sharing
i’ve been watching you for a while and you really helped me learn to love my hair. i’ve been natural for 5 yrs (6 in September) and i recently realized that natural hair is easy, i’ve just been taught that it’s hard. i’m doing mini twists w no added hair all summer and it’s helped me feel better abt my natural hair even tho it’s short in twists. i feel like focusing on growing healthy hair and just letting my hair do what it wants is helpful, even though it is hard to ignore all the noise about it
I have 4b/4c hair and I just locked my hair up. I hated my loose natural hair (fine hair density, looser texture in the back, constant fairy knots). It just wasn't a good experience. Now I love my natural hair. I'm able to just get up and go. I am being more creative with it and dying it and just loving how it looks.
OMGG YESS!! I needed to see this, sadly. I’ve just seen so much talk online between the black girl community recently on how -“we complain to much”, or “hair isn’t difficult, its only difficult bc we choose to manipulate it”, and in results shows we hate our hair. Which I feel isn’t true, and when I saw that, I felt like a few forgot how years, and years of generations made use feel about our hair, even till today. I just felt we should all understand where each of us is coming from, and it was sad to see some people couldn’t :(
I was literally talking about this topic last night when I was discussing how it was hard to find someone I trust to straighten my hair where I live. I’ve been trying to regain confidence especially when it comes to my hair after moving from my predominantly black hometown. It was just like yesterday I was thinking how you’ve inspired me to try other things with my hair. I’ve been leaning toward trying curly/textured extensions for the first time because I feel pressure to show my length since I rarely straighten my hair and I live wear the majority is Hispanic now. Known for their beautiful long luscious straight tresses. Being in a place where we’re the minority you can’t help but feel like you stand out. It’s a blessing to be different but I understand what you mean to be hyper aware of it when no one has your hair type and look nothing like you. I was one of two black girls on my dance team in college and I had the similar experience of them telling you what they think you should be able to do with your hair. In my case they wanted us to all look the same which we simply do not. It was giving dance moms💀 I felt the pressure to straighten my hair at first but after speaking to my dad I refused and started to wear my hair curly to games and performances . He said I shouldn’t have to risk the health of my hair just to accommodate them, and if they had a problem they’d have to take it up with him lol.We had a team “bonding” event where we did hair and makeup demonstrations (he actually encouraged me to record it and I should’ve) and we felt so excluded because we knew they couldn’t tell us how to do either really. My teammate made a comment about how we were not going to back comb our hair because that’s asking for naps, breakage all of the above. It was laughable 💀One girl had the nerve to look at us crazy and be like “well y’all are gonna have to do it”…It’s not right and people should be more open minded and AWARE. That was in Georgia and being from the South you would think people should know better by now. Like I’m sorry ma’am but I’m not teasing my hair when it already grows upwards 🙄the other girl on my team had short locks and in an attempt to conform she’d often wear wigs and once they confronted her to say they did not approve of how she styled it which might I add was the only way she literally could 🤦🏽♀️They started to nit pick about other things as well because as you stated maybe we came off to them as difficult. Long story short we didn’t finish our year with them. We disappeared into thin air like every other black girl who had been on the team before us. NONE of them lasted it’s actually quite sad. But you Kianna, exude confidence I feel that’s part of the reason you’re so beautiful to me inside and out aside from the fact that you’re just actually gorgeous 😌🫶🏽 it can be triggering but we’re in this together and you’re helping so many other girls that look like us by opening up about it and being vulnerable🤎🤞🏽I love you and your channel. Your content gives me so much life and inspires me to embrace my natural beauty and femininity. Muchos besos preciosa 😘😘😘
as a longtime viewer your hair journey has been an honor to witness! thank you for being transparent and willing to share it with us. i’ve learnt so much from your videos, sending love!
Thank you SO MUCH for talking about this, it’s so so real. Love you Kianna
I love this video Kianna! It's so important that we create a safe space for us to speak about things like this! Your hair is beautiful and it will grow back! Talking from personal experience! I cut my hair once when I had my hair different for prom and it was so traumatising, but it grew back better than ever! 💕
omg thank u for posting this! ♡
i’ve always hated going to salons because they never know what to do with my hair and always need 2 people (i have really thick type 4 hair) and it has always frustrated me because ive always thought “why can’t my hair be easy and manageable like theirs?” and it has caused me to hate my hair SO much. i’m 22 and starting my hair love journey and it’s really difficult :(
i’m glad there’s so many other amazing black women that feel this and speak out about it because i feel as though everyone i talk to doesn’t understand.
woow "it steps in the room before I do". I feel that so harrrd. I love how articulate you are!
I love my 4c hair❤I love wearing it outside and showing people that our hair is gorgeous. I just feel more like me when I wear it too. It feels right. I love having braids though, sometimes I feel prettier with braids. But that’s not really a big problem.❤
Love this look!!
This video and comment section is so comforting as a young black girl😭
the way I have been waiting for this tutorial ever since you posted the IG reel with this style eeek you're the best. and yes your are so right about being a black girl in the entertainment industry, I completely feel you
i can so relate, love kianna. also love how the hair turned out🤩
First of all I LOVE your hair ( literally you’re my hair twin) it took a while to accept my hair in its natural state. I love it now more than ever. I love the confidence you have in general. Plus I got some kinky coily clips in and I LOVE THEM 😍! It matches my hair hair too! I’ll be using these for the summer lol. I LOVE YOU HONEY BYEEE ❤!
As a type 4 hair black girl, Ki girl YOU HIT THIS ONE ON THE HEAD. I’ve always had the “rough, carpet like” hair and the black women that would do my hair would often make some comment on how “difficult” my hair is. I think that my hair is simply misunderstood but to others it’s the opposite. I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone and unfortunately this is a universal black girl thing.
0:09 the theatrics love you so much!😭😭😂
this is why i loc'd my hair, i wake up shake it and head out the door. i love my curls but for a while i really did not it was honestly just too much, now though I feel so free to just do anything, even to get in the pool !
Everything you said was so valid!!!! The end result of the clip-ins came out really cute and looks super natural.
i am loving this consistency and just spontaneous uploads
Kianna, I've been watching your videos for awhile and you truly can pull off any hairstye!
thank you for your vulnerability especially about your experiences in the entertainment industry. I love uu ~
love how the hair turned out 🎉❤
Everything you said was so validating. Thank you!!!
Thank you for being honest. We love you
So relatable, thank you for sharing 💓
Love the look 🤭 thanks for sharing your experience 🤞🏾
Another thing that really helped me embrace my hair was getting locs for a brief period, when I had locks, I literally didn’t care if I had a retwist if it was sticking up if it looked messy I just went out now I can do they same for my hair, just spray a lil water fluff it out and I’m on my way
your hair is gorgeous, beautiful.
Gosh you are so stunning and your hair is just all round gorgeous xx 😍
Dont cry!!! 😭 You are an extremely beautiful woman. Inside and out. So keep your head up
i hate how people aren’t used to our hair. being the only other black girl ( one in the year below), i would come into school with my hair in its curls and no one would compliment me, it would just be comparing me to ice spice. now i think she’s cool but when everyone shouts at u to the point of harassment just for wearing ur curls it’s like “why do i have to deal with this”.
now i stretch out my hair because i am no longer happy with my shrinkage, but now have many split ends and will def cut it of this summer.
im hoping in the holidays, having time to myself, with no one to comment, I can make my own opinions and judgements
so cute!! love it
this video came at the right time! For me i get so much anxiety going into work knowing people are going to make a big deal out of my hair (whether its good or bad). I never can come into work and just be. Someone always has an opinion about how i should wear my hair.
This is so relatable
I’m so happy I found your channel😍😍😍😍😭😭
Yh my hair just holds me back in life sometimes (yes ik that’s harsh ) it’s nice and beautiful etc… but I waste so much time on it. If there is a special occasion and I choose to style my natural hair I have to leave at least 2 hours extra on top of the time i take to get ready, just in case my hair decides not to cooperate. No matter how good you get at hair or, your years of experience those days can’t be avoided 😭. That’s obviously so inconvenient if I have an important event coming up.
Also for the time stamp 4:50 that is so true I noticed it with dark skinned and brown skinned girls they always feel the need to see your natural hair texture they even do this with jasmine tookes as she wears her hair straight (she doesn’t have type four hair but yk)
Thank you for sharing this with us Kianna. I was also in a show (beauty and the beast) and the director wanted me to straighten my hair or get a wig. Very much a story of texturism and not being catered to. I ended up straightening my hair for the first time and this experience changed my relationship with my hair. Today I still struggle but I love my hair, it’s just time consuming LOL I spend so much time thinking about my hair.
I had the most miserable relationship with my hair my whole life. So much work, time, energy, stress, and pain! Been loc'd for over a year now and have never felt more free. 5:00 I agree! 9:09 LOVE xoxo
Talk sistar💪🏾💯 we are our own worst enemies
I always hate the fact when I have braids on or put in extensions( I have type 4 hair) that people think I hate my hair. Whenever I changed my hairstyle I got asked why I changed it so much. Or other black girls would make me inferior because they had looser curls. I feel unwanted and so much pressure being a black girl with tight coils that it just makes me want to cry💔
this is so real i live in a city with very few braiders and so i keep having to go back to this one salon where they’re constantly making negative comments about all the clients’ natural hair and it’s so disheartening. it just makes me feel so embarrassed and insecure wearing my natural hair. if only people could just be normal
Thank you for this video. Honestly, you are one of my favorite UA-camrs for this reason: your authenticity and vulnerability have helped address the feeling of hair isolation in the Black girl community. Our expectations are so grand and meticulous, leaving little to no room for honest reactions when people in our community, who truly share the same struggle, alienate us for how we want to present ourselves in society.
Thank you for sharing about this. I experience/d dysphoria because of my black hair as well. And I am also black and I am proud to play with my beautiful hair. We deserve to fully feel our emotions, and your transparenecy allowed a lot of us to do just that
Your Hair feels refreshing to behold and dem no fit stop your shine my baby ❤
editing is so goooooood
I love your hair❤❤
You look so beautiful Kianna!💕 I’ve had similar experiences with my type 4 hair, and anytime someone comments on me straightening it, I just tell them I’m going for a Donna Summers vibe 😭💀
Loved this video Kianna I missed ur vids girl u keep shining bc everything u said was try I’ve experienced it in dancing modeling acting teaching choreography having mixed half siblings get spit at bc they’re white n I’m not teachers friends “black of course” and so much more from hair texture clothes body types attitudes everything across the board.
Thank you for sharing this ❤
You always post great videos. thank you for sharing.
Just here to comment I love the direction of your content :)
I really appreciate this video and I hope we can make more space for more honest conversations like these and the real unfavourable experiences we black girls have and the real unglamorous emotions that come with it. It's not always self-love despite everything society tells you, sometimes it gets really hard for one person to deal with all of that.
This helped a lot. I honestly dont know what to do with my hair but this seems simple enough
I have type 4c hair and growing up would always get my hair braided still to this day, protective hairstyles are my go-to!! I was always the girl walking into school with a new style and color of braids and I remember one of my middle school teachers nicknaming me "braids" because of it. When I entered high school, I went to the salon every 2 weeks to get it blow-dried & straightened because it was easier to work with and I hated doing my hair. I've never learned how to cornrow or braid either (still to this day lol) and felt like wigs and bundles weren't for me. It wasn't until 2018 that I finally started to appreciate my hair and began my natural hair journey; twist outs every other week, strong routines, and strengthening my hair after all that heat damage. I bounced my hair back but was still getting my hair straightened once a year to help balance it all out. Protective hairstyles are my best friends and I will always love being a braid girly! After going through a lengthy hair dye period and completely damaging my hair by bleaching it myself, I got a big chop last year. I was crying in that salon chair...I cried every time I looked in the mirror and saw how short my hair was compared to how long and healthy it was just two years prior. I hated it and I got protective hairstyles consistently so I wouldn't have to deal with it. A year later, my hair has grown SO much and it's so incredibly healthy. I almost cried when I took out a protective hairstyle I had in for 4 months and saw the growth and how curly it was...couldn't believe my EYES. I currently have a protective hairstyle in rn, and I started seeing my roots grow within TWO WEEKS when that's never been the case. Long story short, since the big chop, I've grown more and more appreciative of my hair than ever. It's still a challenge when I get to those wash days, seeing different hair textures on social media, and going through old photos...but I feel like me again and I love my hair at the end of the day.
Stunning!💓💓
Ahhh you’re so beautiful!!!
My hair goes with my hairline i can explain how long it took me to actually love them,got that hate and love relationship its crazy. i did dreadlocs 3 times,went bold a few times,the list goes on im trying to understand how to deal with it, so it grows healthy, you hair is beautiful
I have such an on/off relationship with my hair. Its easier to manage when its relaxed but then after 2 years it breaks again so i have to cut it(i dont mind cutting my hair) and leave it in its natural glory but that means having to find a stylist who is gentle with my hair, establishing a proper routine and just like a lot. It doesnt help that i dyed it recently and now i just hate that i never wear my hair out, its always in braids or a twist out or corn rows. The only time its out is when I'm on the way to the saloon to get it fixed again. I just dread dealing with it sometimes but i still love my hair
Love your hair videos 🫶
Ive been out of braids for months due to hair issues. Right now and its been exhausting whew! Im still learning to love and accept my natural hair it’s an on going process tbh. Im def in a better place than I was as a child / teen but I’d be lying if I didn’t think having looser curls would be easier. As a child and teen I def didn’t like my hair and damaged it a lot due to not knowing how to do my own hair. It wasn’t until i went to a hbcu that I learned how to do my natural hair properly ! I do know I’ve come a long ways as a 4B girlie and learned to love my hair and see it as beautiful. I think it’s ok to have days when you don’t have a good hair day not everyday you’re gonna be obsessed w your hair! That’s just my story lol
my hair does not groooooooooow so she’s always away in braids and don’t get me wrong i LOVE my braids, they’re so versatile and fun but for the longest time i’ve wanted to wear her natural and be ok with her in her natural state but she’s just such an awkward length and idk what to do with her. i attempted to force myself to just leave her alone for the summer and try to figure out styles for her but that didn’t even last a week because it’s just so much work and so frustrating and hair is such a big part of identity. i want to be able to wear and style her as she is but when she’s not done it’s just so disheartening and then i feel bad about myself cuz i don’t feel like myself and it’s a whole thing so i go back to braids. im hoping and PRAYING one day i can figure out what to do with her and what she needs but i do not think this is the year
I’m in this cycle too😩 it’s so annoying
It's okay to feel this way where you're at with her. Maybe try and give yourself some grace as you are still learning the skill set of managing your hair. At least you're thinking of her and what's best ♡
try mini twist, They're just as versatile as braids and are easier to do and take down !!
this video felt like vogue video absolutely love ur editing and I truly hate how society has made bw feel about natural hair, I hope every bw who feels uncomfortable with their natural hair can grow to love it❤️
I agree with the makeup. A white gurl in Sephora pulled me to the side because she had saw me in there every other day looking for a shade in foundation and she told me brands don’t tend to cater to darker skin tones as much as lighter skin tones and it is a shame because not all blk ppl have warm undertones and some neutral undertones need to be extra neutral
A whiter person can buy drug store easily 😢
I wanna add I think so many of us (me included) have been so judgy because we’ve been hurt by other people, the next worst thing is being hurt by someone who looks similar to you. I would try wigs maybe not super often bcs alopecia, but just for the fun of it all. You’re right though what we do with our hair is no one else’s business but ours. Wish I was as good with wigs as you 😊
THAAATTT PART!!!! why do we always demonize black girls who are honest about disliking their hair when society constantly tells them that their hair is nappy, unprofessional, informal, etc. the list goes on. It's so hard to go against societal conditioning and to not believe the comments you always hear about yourself. Not to mention the looks you get and the treatment.
I think we as black girls put too much emphasis on our hair and I think it is because our hair at least the tighter types stands out so much more and we feel the need to always do something about it based on what not only the beauty standard is but also based on what we hear in our own communities but hair is just hair it means nothing and I think everyone should be able to do it and deal with it how they want and for black girls with type 4 hair should stop being treated as if type 4 hair is so alien by outside communities because its not, is it a little thicker sure is it harder to moisturize sure but all hair requires different effort, and for our own communities I think we should just leave each other alone we tend to only be okay with our hair if it's long and thick but if it's short maybe a little thinner we tell our girls to wear wigs, get braids, use all these oils and when they do then we tell them oh love your hair embrace it but even if a girl wears wigs just because or gets braids just because or extensions just because not based on any insecurities for the most part but just because why not we tell her she hates her hair and herself and she needs to embrace her hair for what it is Its like those black girls that wear their hair with little to no product and no further manipulation which is amazing but its not so amazing when they act like thats the point we should all be at I think we should be able to do whatever we want because its literally just hair
Stunning 😌♥️
thank you for being open about your hair struggles. 🫶🏾 currently traveling as a 4c hair girly and finding a braider in every new country is soo time consuming😭
You really motivate me (my 500th time saying this) to want to deeply get to know myself; my style; my preferences love you so much if you see this please send a prayer for the grace to get to know myself as deeply as you know yours I’d appreciate that
wow what you said about your hair being everyone’s business and it stepping in the room before you do was so accurate and so validating! i’ve had a long hair journey: started getting my hair relaxed when i was 4 or 5 to 14 because i’d come home crying everyday in kindergarten because the kids would say hurtful things about my hair and bully me. i’d get braids in and once a weave in gr. 6 (sigh…😂) and people would touch my hair and pull it and pet it like i was some zoo creature. finally at 14 when i realized i’d never get my curls back if i kept relaxing i grew it out and cut all the straightened parts off. even then, it took me a while to find a good routine. i also got into wigs end of HS. i’ve only recently gotten to a point in which my natural hair feels easy and i love it unconditionally. before i’d only rock with it if it rocked with me and the style i wanted. i had to learn that sometimes it’s just gonna do what it wants to do which is tough. it was a long journey and i feel we should all have empathy for each other as we all move at our own pace. all this to say, i relate to all of your experiences kianna and i personally love your hair in all of its states❤ keep shining your beautiful light