CAN ABUSIVE HUSBAND SAVE HIS MARRIAGE? | The Steve Wilkos Show
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2024
- After John assaulted his wife, Heather, she moved in with a new boyfriend a few weeks later. Is there a way to save this toxic relationship?
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Never get back with someone who abused you!
Exactly for real
Big RED FLAG
Y
Yup, agreed.
Unless they’re really sexy 😅
The fact that no one sees the manipulative, gaslighting, abusive and narcissistic traits of this man is mind blowing! She didn't attend the tournament because she KNEW he would get hammered, which he did. He was mad that she didn't do as he wanted and then put a pillow over her face (regardless of her fear, he tried to smother her). Then he decided he was going to teach her a lesson by ignoring her and his children for nearly a month, until he realized she wasn't pining away, begging him to come home and was actually trying to move on... THEN he decided he wanted to go back home. His whole woe is me, I beat myself up blah blah blah was clearly an attempt to gain sympathy and pity from Steve and it worked smh he actually encouraged this woman to go back to this vile, manipulative pos and I'm blown away by that. I hope whatever she chose, she is safe
I agree! I don't think Steve should have been trying so hard to break her up with her new man. She may need a new person in her life to "shield" her from her past. A distraction, if you will. Just because a person has a crazy ex, that doesn't mean they don't deserve to move on.
I 100% agree! She needs to leave that relationship and focus on herself and her kids! Screw him!!!
@duckykittn it's like he WANTED them to stay together?!?! And the way the oldest daughter normalized her father trying to smother her mother as though it was a typical Tuesday activity tells me this is not a one and done situation. Everything about this guy screams RUN and Steve intentionally tried to sabotage her relationship with the new guy like she was in the wrong. Asking questions about fidelity like that even matters... the whole episode had me on edge and changed my thoughts on Steve for sure
if only you knew the whole truth 🫠
@divergentenergy you're right, I don't know the "whole" truth. I know what was provided in this airing and from what was admitted by all parties combined with their behavior, this is my opinion. He is manipulative, gaslighting AND abusive. Whether she moved on with another man or not, she should not be with him.
What the hell!! You NEVER give a violent abuser a second chance! This guy would kill her in a heartbeat. He is a Nutter, a very scary Nutter.
The way the audience said she wasn’t a victim, too….. he’s a true narcissist
ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY!!! I cannot believe that Steve was kind and sympathetic to this guy, he is clearly abusive, manipulative and narcissistic. THAT is why he was upset she didn't go with him, because it "made him look bad"... no nutter, YOU make you look bad smh
He manipulated the whole audience, including Steve, and they fell for it.
It was letting him sit on the stage the whole time knowing he smothered the mother of his children….. him being a black out drunk drinker….. him putting bruises all over her saying “yep that’s my thumb on the back of her arm”……. “I beat myself up”-victimizing himself & wanting sympathy…… trying to look all sad about her “wrestling” with the new man……. the randomness of the house burning down with the dog ((who TF leaves& abandons a dog in an empty house))….. him using drugs & saying his choice is common…… him arguing ehen his daughters home from the Navy & the other kids have friends over, too….. her having to use so much force to get him off her if it was “just a second” ……just all of it. This guy sucked from the minute he started to talk. True Narcissist.
Bet he set the house on fire himself.
Came here looking for this comment. This situation was so toxic & I sense he was/is at the ROOT of it ALL.
HAHA the girls in the crowd when Steve says “cocaine isn’t a common drug” LOL
I caught that too 😂😂😂 but cocaine has definitely become more common than Steve thinks.
I mean, its more common than E! Less common than Mary Jane.... 2nd/3rd most common drug being used in the world today. So yeah...it kinda is. But its NOT comin to be a cocaine Addict. He is.
John: I haven’t done cocaine in a few months.
Me: Bullshit! You’re high right now 😅😂
Right!
"See now that's some bullshit."
-Samuel L Jackson
It’s so upsetting to see women tolerate this type of garbage. It’s such a helpless feeling to watch men and women suffer in relationships that are abusive. How do you make an adult see their worth.
I agree with u if I was the wife in this I would leave his a$$ and be with the guy that she is with
@@joeymorton4878you’re the same person telling her to stay with him if he ‘took counseling’😑
Sadly, even if you show them their worth, they can’t see it until they are ready. And the kids will be grown and dealing with their own problems from seeing abuse and seeing how she isn’t their protector.
She has to climb out of that BWS rather than skirt to the next guy. She’s in a pattern of using men to value her worth right now.
@@paixamourchanel9084 speak on it, I grew up in violence & it’s clear my mother & father did NOT care about us
@@onnie.6815 not true
They need to stay apart forever and get counseling before dragging another guy into the mix. He doesn’t deserve that. The kids are seeing them both set a shitty example. This toxic bs isn’t love, it’s desperation.
Vise-versa.. Another man or another woman... they should both work on their selves before either one of them get into another relationship again.
@@sommerclark8623 very true. My comment was with regards to the side guy she brought on the show.
Heather and John, go your separate ways!
Gage, go and find another relationship.
Beating up a woman is NEVER ok!
Putting a pillow over her face is
another level again! She could have died!
Relationships like this never end well.
This behaviour continues on!
Violence leads to more violence!
In the meantime, there’s children involved! Those children will become irreparably messed up!
I don’t imagine either one of you want to end up in jail.
Think of your children for a change, it’s not all about you pair.
He manipulated the whole audience, including Steve, and they fell for it. He got them to NOT see her as the victim which is what manipulators and narcissist do to take away the blame from themselves. This woman was abused. How can steve let that slide? Yeah, she should not have brought a man home after 1 month. That does not change the fact that she is a victim of domestic violence.
The daughter is out of her mind. I can’t imagine telling my mother “they’re good together” about a man who literally smothered her. I’d be telling her to LEAVE!!
Or maybe the mothers is out of her mind for normalising this infront of her children
I mean it’s her father for gods sake. I’m sure she’s torn asl.
@@fozfoz478the mother was a victim of abuse, the father is the one who normalized it
@@angelsin2530 I understand being a victim of domestic violence and I understand how hard it is to leave. As parents in these situations at least try to get help especially because it’s the parents responsibility to make sure kids are in a safe environment, a lot of cases I’ve seen are parent not putting their kids saftey and well-being first, and of course some people have no choice.
I hope anyone in this situation find the strength and help to make it out. Amen 🙏
Are you sure he isn't drunk now? He didn't even get the idea he was supposed to stand up for a brief moment.
(Just wanted to say Iove your new set-up on your stage this time around!)
SMH very disappointed with this episode. Steve completely bypassed the fact that he beat her & it probably wasn’t the first time.
Thank you !!!! I was wait why is there not completely mentioning this?! Why is he not in PRISON NOW?!!!
Husband and wife need to divorce and leave each other alone. The boyfriend needs to run far away.
Always remember why you left the relationship in the first place, if it’s bullying or sexual abuse you have to leave because of your kids, try and save any bits of cash for travel xxxx
I remember when I left my abusive ex I was 19 with a baby and 25 dollars to my name!!! I had a little stash saved up for leaving but he had found it and spent it all. He then proceeded to kick me in the face break my nose and drag me by my hair into the bathroom. Where he grabbed me by my face and slammed me into the mirror. I was terrified I thought that was gonna be it. Then he raped me. All while his mother cheered him on and called me a whore saying I was stealing my own money!!!! He then made me a bath I was in so much pain. My nose was broken, my eyebrow was cut and I was bruised everywhere. I took the bath and the rest of the day I acted normal. On January 4, 2010 the next day he was acting so nice and I acted like everything was normal and I grabbed my daughter and he was like “ Wyd today” I said oh I’m just going to a doctors appointment and acted as normal as possible. I grabbed a backpack and hid it in our porch. We had a window that from our bedroom we can go in and out the porch if we wanted. I was so scared he would find out. The last time I tried to leave it was bad and I thought about that. But then I looked at my 1 year old and said no she can’t endure this for her whole life. So I waited til he got high and drunk because he would early it never failed and said ok we will be back. I proceeded to tell me that he loves me and to tell the doctor I was mugged if asked about my face. I said ok and he kissed me. That kiss made me feel disgusted. I said ok love you bye I don’t want to be late. I grabbed my baby, the stroller , baby bag and he searched it as he would every time I left to make sure I had no money other than the bus fare. He then went into to bedroom with his mother to drink and I was able to walk out the house and when I got to the window my backpack wasn’t there. I was so petrified I knew he had took it but when I looked my neighbor had took it. He said he saw it and knew that my ex would snoop and if he saw it he knew it was my ass. I thanked him and he said these words” Girl run just run and don’t look back” I know and heard so much through these thin walls” i did just that had no clue where I was going or how I was getting there. Now I was homeless in New England in the middle of winter. I was panhandling with my baby and a man came up to me and was like “ wtf how you got your baby outside while u ask for money “ what is wrong with you” I then looked at this man and cried like a baby and explained my situation. He wasn’t all the way convinced at first and he said ok I’ll be back. I thought yeah right. So I kept begging and made like 45 dollars and needed 75 for a night at a sleazy motel. A few hours later the same dude comes back and he’s like come on and I said no!! I don’t know you. He says fine and when a city bus comes he says ok now come on. I hesitated but got on. I said what are you doing he said don’t worry about it I’m not gonna hurt you. We took the bus to the motel and he had paid for 2 weeks for a room, got me a box of diapers, wipes, a small grocery and a purple sweater. I asked why are you doing this Idk what you want in return but please don’t hurt me. He chuckled gave me the room card and left. He said you will never see me again. He said I did this because of your baby. I was so happy and confused. He shook my hand and left. Two weeks past and when it’s time to go I had got into a shelter and was getting ready. I still haven’t seen this guy since. I wondered if he was ok and lo and behold a couple months later we run into each other again and he says wow someone cleans up nice. I said yeah right and he asked me to lunch I went and we had a great time. After that he would stop by everyday to see my daughter and I and a few months later he asked me to be his girlfriend I explained again what he knew and he told me I’m not that dude and I won’t pay for his mistakes. He said idk but that day I knew I loved you. It was crazy and I said I wanna take it slow. A year later I got pregnant we had our own little place and now 13 years later we had 2 kids of our own. He has always took care of my oldest like his own and we had a boy and a girl who are now 9 and 6. So ladies please I tell you this if you are being abused leave even men if your significant other is abusing you run for the hills. I was young and dumb. Fell in love with the first fool who gave me what I didn’t have at home which was attention and ended up with a damaged retina, broken nose, scars on my body, burned with cigarettes and choked. Also I was assaulted every time he wanted and I refused he would force me. He even did in front of a friend of his once. My dumbass still staying because I thought who wants a chick with a baby already that isn’t doing well mentally due to all this abuse and trauma. But I got out and never looked back. He would leave letters to my friends begging for me to come back but I didn’t and when I met a good mad I learned what love is. This man has taught me how to drive, help me finish school, brought me my outfit for my interview. He has always been there for my daughter well if you ask our daughter. My ex has tried to start issues but since years have passed he has calmed down. I guess he realized he couldn’t take this away. My husband now had to even step to him man to man and say listen I mind my business but if you touch my wife or my babygirl I will bury you and he just put his head down and walked away. Well I’m sorry I wrote a book y’all but I’m passionate about abuse. Men and women is being abused like I said leave please run and never go back.
@@jojoleeann03I read every word. I am so glad you left that old life behind and thrived. I am so very happy for you ❤ Good men and women do exist, I am sorry you had to deal with a bad one first. Sending you love and positivity
@@ammcd2012 thanks so much I am happy now I still have flashbacks and stuff but I do see a therapist and my hubby is understanding. I always try to give advice and use my story as a way to help someone. It means so much that you read every word of this testimony. When I was in that life I attempted suicide I was so thin from not eating and unkempt. When I left and realized I didn’t have to ask for permission to do things and found myself again I was overjoyed. I even went a little manic I started spending and eating whatever I wanted but when I realized I didn’t have to hide anything that I was free I started budgeting and with the help of my lovely man I learned that I am no longer in those chains I can enjoy. The most important thing is I got my baby girl out of it she is 15 and knows a great father figure and knows how a real family unit is suppose to be. She even got 2 beautiful siblings to annoy her for life 😂😂😂
@@jojoleeann03 I love your testimony sorry that happened to you I'm glad it got better
These 2 need to go their separate ways
Never go back because it only gets worse! I know from experience
Whats the deal with the fire seems a lil suspicious to me
She will always go back with rose colored glasses on. Take off those glasses. Listen to your daughter. Be happy. Be healthy. Life is short.
I knew he was on drugs u can see it..
I'm sorry but if I was in an abusive relationship I would leave theres no point of staying period. 😮😳
Some relationships are just toxic, and need to be let go immediately
I don’t care what she did!! NOBODY DESERVES TO GET ABUSED FOR NO REASON!!! I would leave him so fast it would make his head spin! He’s never going to change.
Good common sense, Steve. Thanks again for another needed show. Unfortunately we have a whole lot of families going through this type of relationship.
This is the earliest I’ve watched a Steve Wilkos video
He tried to kill her! That's crazy. She should never ever be around him again.
This happened to me & the guy is walking free... he somehow managed to rough himself up after attempting to kill me while i was hiding calling 911 in a closet. I was falsely charged with a FELONY & HE WALKED. I dont have any faith in police or men anymore.
@@BellaIsMyBabysorry to hear that honey. Sending you love. Please forgive the men that hurt you so you don’t hold on to that pain. As long as you hold on to that pain, the person who hurt you will control you and your heart.
@@teehee83 I really appreciate your kind words & I do! I can never go back but I'm blessed I broke free & amen, forgiveness is huge.
I'm kind of appalled how well Steve treated this narcissistic wife beater. He's a monster like the rest.
It's a hard situation after being married for 20 years but violence and a husband whose abusive and addicted to cocaine and an alcoholic is not worth it. The kid sound like they're grown so just move on and live your life now why you still can.....
After watching so many talk show episodes I never want to get drunk. So many guest make it seem like drinking means is a hall pass when they chose to drink.
the way she nonchalantly explains the abuse is giving red flag vibes on HER end!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Seems like SHE became so used to "moving past it" like the daughter said. 😢
steve at the end "I hope you'll drop me a line" lol..............
Wow I don’t know what to say here . But yeah John needs to work on himself . I’m actually surprised she didn’t file for divorce after she got herself in a new relationship . And why did this other guy even get involved at all ?
I can’t even tell whose worse. Her or him I can’t even tell
@@Kamrose24 I’d say both of them at this point .
@@underscore55 agreed
@@Kamrose24 I felt like the other guy Gage had no reason to be involved with their mess at all .
@@underscore55 you took the words right outta my mouth
Steve Absolutely missed the mark on this case. As a daughter of a mother that was in a situation VERY similar to this one, the father abuses and blames for his actions, the mother pacifies out of fear of making the wrong choice, the daughter doesnt care what they do to each other as long as they're together because thats what shes been taught that love is. My mom and stepdad met on a literal dating app months after she left my dad. 17 years of my mom dealing with this same situation. My 'step' DAD and my mom married two months after meeting and have been happily married for 10 years. Let her move into something more health, LONG TERM OR NOT, and be done with being abused and unhappy.
I absolutely agree. My Mom was stabbed 18 times by my Father. Her kids are just traumatized and repeating learned behavior. I hope she enjoys her relationship with the new young stud, he is a good looking fellow 😊
@@ammcd2012 oh no sorry about that I hope she stays with him too
Everything with this episode does not sit well with me, and not enough was said to explain how it's not right to blame someone who is abused. That man kept saying she was ungrateful and should take responsibility. He clearly feels like it's her fault he put his hands on her. Steve, mentioned to the new boyfriend that the relationship was not worth it, which is right because she is married but he also mentioned that she was a mother too thus throwing mothers under the bus who try to look for someone else. It's also sad how the daughter wished they would just move on like in the past. This should not be normalized for children because we don't want our children to put up with abuse
Any man that lays his hand on a woman belongs behind bars! This guy is a mess She needs to stay away from him.
I don't understand why Steve was so discouraging about her being with the new guy. Of course this wasn't the whole episode so there's probably more information than what this showed. But he seemed to be a nice guy. Steve would rather she go back to the other guy? Why??
Dude looks coked out on stage 😂
Some people can’t ever appreciate their good fortune.He’s one of them.
After this, I would not think to give him a second chance. 1:09
i’m only 4:34 in to the video and i have a strong suspicion that man was piss drunk then entire time he was talking to steve. slurring his words, trying to talk fast, can’t finish a sentence, jumps from one thought to the next, is rocking and swaying in his chair. also why tf is steve letting him sit on his stage??? he NEVER lets women beaters sit.
It's never ever going to work, he will hit you again😊
Noone deserves to be hurt by someone they love. They hit you once they WILL fo it again. Lrave while you can!!!Relationships come and go!
It’s so sad that there’s a lot of narcissistic men in the world like this! They’ll blame you for how you respond to their abuse, and all of a sudden it becomes your fault!
It does not get better unless the man is ready to work on himself and change. It is easy to blame the spouse if you are feeling insecure. As an adult with kids you have to grow up and look at your priorities in life. If you have serious issues go for counseling and therapy. Try and get to a place where you can be better person for the sake of your family.
I try to learn from these women.. I don’t want to be 30 or 40 something trying to decide between two losers…
Seems like common sense to me
@@the_all_blue_does_exist716 evidently common sense is not so common
As a single child free woman this is why I don’t associate with married women or women with kids. Being friends with someone who has an abusive spouse or family can be harmful to friends too. Who wants to sit around and watch a friend or their kids be abused? No one with sense but you can’t tell them nothing cause it all about “my man my man my man”
steve was over these ppl at the end he went innnn 😂😂😂 their grown asses acting like kids smh
Husband high a a kite!!
Do not ever go back to this man.
HAHA her eyes lit up when he said crazy
These relationships.. Smdh. Both segments/stories (FULL tv episode) were messy, toxic. I’m not turning a blind eye to domestic violence, I know it’s easier said than done to leave. But some of these relationships I will never understand why people choose to stay in this toxicity, or go back to the person who hurt them (regardless of how many times.. even if it’s a quick hookup), whether it’s verbally or physically… it’s draining and exhausting.. especially mentally and emotionally. This is rhetorical, but when I watch these specific episodes, I wonder… “Why can’t people (regardless of which end it’s on), just walk away and stay away. Call it quits. There is clearly no love there & stop saying for the kids/using the kids as an excuse to stay.”
Even if she does leave him she will always attract guys like him. After a month she was already looking for a guy. What about doing some self healing?
He's a POS and doesn't deserve anyone. You're the problem but you want her to tske responsibility for your actions? She should just disappear and be happy with a man that can appreciate her and won't attempt to harm her.
The only reason he wants her back is because he is a narcissist - NO ONE else is allowed to have her, in his eyes, whether he wants her or not.
Go your separate ways. the only ones who are getting hurt are the children. It's not a healthy environment for anybody..
she should start seeing the other guy he seems like a good one for her, leave John you don't need all his drama in your life neither your kids do either
that man is high as a kite lmfaoo
So many broken people in this sad world myself included
hope this year makes u feel better mate. from 1 steve fan to another all the best mate
Wow!!! Steve was SPOT ON this episode and gave great advice to the men!!!
???? Maybe to Gage....but completely brushed over that he TRIED TO MURDER HIS DAMN WIFE.
this segment is a mess!!
He almost suffocated her and she still reconsidering him back?
She delayed in her mind of whats wrong with her?
Why is he SITTING edit * he isn't sitting anymore 😅😅😅
I want Steve’s season one self back! He is way too nice to wife abusers like this one now! What happened to his season one self?
Becuse yelling, screaming, and throwing chairs does nothing to solve the actual problem. Talking solves the issue and gets in their heads, if they refuse to change, give up on them. It's exhausting to have to explain this to GROWN people. They either get it or don't
Nice job steve!!! 💯 well done
12:22 Lie detector test results begin
Shut up. We know!
Pheeeeeueeeew! Glad I’m not in that mess:-)
Riley, thank you for your service, and the dad is horrible.
Way too soon to move a new man in with the children.Way,way too soon.And they are making me sea-sick,with the constant rocking from side to side.
I was wondering what took Steve so long to make his ass stand up!! This is NOT a "sit-down"er by any means!!!
My advice to John’s wife is if he beating you up then I think you should start divorce proceedings as soon as possible
Narcissist alcoholic isn't who you want be with, trust me!
As I got older…I realized that cocaine is actually a common drug for sure 😢
Jumping into another relationship immediately!! C’mon…they are both dysfunctional
Me and Heather are still together to this day
If y’all say she’s not victim after moving another guy with her children then that says it all 🤦🏾♂️
I love me some Steve!! ❤
He is going through something, I don’t blame him🥲but wanting to murder that’s like frick I’m tired of this😭
And just like that, the cycle can continue. The daughter doesn’t understand the severity of the situation, and think she should give it another chance.
Girl, enjoy that new Man! As a happily married woman of nearly 10 years I totally disagree with Steve for once. That woman looks beat down and tired. She is emotionally exhausted, carrying around her husbands habits and heartaches. She had beautiful children as a teatament of their former union. Time to move on, the new guy is cute...
He sounds like an abusive drunk and drug user. The fact he’s been in jail and abuses his wife makes for a wasted life using excuses constantly . Who would want this fool?
Who tf moves a stranger in with her kids after maybe 20 days?? Jesus
sorry, but he did it once, he will do it again run away.
I may not be in a relationship right now, but I can't imagine being on drugs during my relationship with a lady I love.
The fact that the audience thought he was a victim at one point, WOW 🤡
The new guy needs to run a mile.
What a coincide the house burnt down
Steve, you were way off here. She was beaten by a drug addicted, self pitying cry baby. And her new boyfriend seems clueless but he seems happy. I have zero pity for “dad” after having a cocaine addict for a father and watching him torture my own mother for 38 years before she finally left.
gothiclovesick sorry you went through that wyd
Decades of her being Trauma Bonded to this Cluster B shitshow.
One of the first things she said was that he hits her and puts bruises on her….why was he sitting down when he was speaking with Steve?
I Don't Like How The Audience Was Booing The Woman When She Came Out On Stage
Appreciative of what, for beating on her? HE should be appreciative for having a wife and kids who love him and having a comfortable life.
I feel bad for the poor dog
Why did Steve let him sit down for so long... 😳😳
What about the second half of the show? I didn’t get to see any of it!
I only heard her intro and already i know the answer... leave BOTH men alone and get some healing first!
Why did Steve attack the new boyfriend? I feel like his only mistake was moving in with her too fast. Why's he giving the abusive drunk a pep talk? If you'd beat and almost kill your wife drunk you have it in you to do it sober.
steve this was disgusting on your part.. all your years of seeing abuse and you would say she isnt a victim ? what the hell.
But they both smoke and drink..............
Pretty sure that's not the point.
Steve Wilkos