The Truth about "Use it or Lose it" | What to do When She Never Wants Sex | AMA
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
- In today’s special June AMA episode, Dr. Malik dives into some of the most frequently asked questions she receives from her dedicated audience. We discuss the complexities of mismatched sexual desire in long-term relationships and how scheduling intimate time, alleviating stress, and understanding responsive desire can help improve connection. For those facing post-void dribbling, Dr. Malik explores its common causes and effective solutions. We also touch on the sensitive topic of vaginal odor, debunking the myths about special soaps and emphasizing the natural self-cleaning ability of the vagina. Plus, we address urinary frequency concerns, the effects of not having sex on erectile function, and even dive into a fetish-related question.
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▶️Chapters:
00:00 Introduction
01:04 Sexless Marriage Issue
06:08 Post Voiding Dribble
09:22 Vaginal Odor and Cleaning
11:41 Urinary Frequency
17:26 Erectile Dysfunction Misconception
19:44 Anal Play Fetish
Watch the video till the end and let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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Rena Malik, MD is a urologist and pelvic surgeon on youtube to educate people about all things urology including erectile dysfunction, how to increase testosterone, problems with sex, premature ejaculation, urinary leakage, or incontinence, overactive bladder, urinary tract infections, prostate issues and more.
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▶️DISCLAIMER: This video is purely educational and does not constitute medical advice. The content of this video is my personal opinion and not that of my employer(s). Use of this information is at your own risk. Rena Malik, M.D. will not assume any liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may result from the use of the information contained in this video including but not limited to economic loss, injury, illness, or death.
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My issue, and I see this with myself and all my married friends. Our wives don't want to have sex, clearly they don't want us to have girlfriends and go out cheating on them BUT they also don't want us to masturbate. That. That is the killer. If we masturbate it's "gross", it's "disrespectful." "Porn is sexual exploitation!" On and on an on. I'll be honest. If you won't cook for me and you refuse to let me cook for myself eventually I'm going out for pizza. Lastly, I find it irritating that I have to do things in a marriage I'm not in the "mood for" ALL THE TIME, I'm asking for 5-10 mins of your time to be present and give me quality time. Women demand quality time from us ALL THE TIME and when we sit down on the couch to watch a movie with you, you spend all that time on your phone. No, there is a deeper issue here and we are glossing over, nay excusing it, with "women have to be in the mood". Women have to learn to be present and get off their flipping phones.
What's she doing on the phone?
They have to be reprogrammed 😮
It's too late.
What u said….
@@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry doomscrolling
The men doing house work to get the wife into the mood is utter BS. Never works.
They just give you the Q&A when they want to avoid the subject. Date for life, don't marry, just get a contract. They will love sex for ever.
They will just point out what you missed and how you did it wrong
The honey do list just gets longer.
Men being simps. 😂
Help serve your wife and she will serve you.
If you don’t want to have sex ever again, get married
Especially the fun stuff.
Why would you believe or spread that lie? Married people have more sex over all compared to single. I’ve been married 21 years it hasn’t been an issue aside the regular ups and downs of having babies and some fatigue etc but my husband has never complained 🤷♀️
@@strawberryme08 Believe not every woman is like you. I love my wife . She’s good at most things . She’s so negative about sex . I’m to old . Not again. It’s the constant negativity that turns me off. I don’t ask anymore. I don’t initiate anymore. You would think she would wonder why? She doesn’t care. It’s been a couple of years . She has no desire.
Been married over 40yrs and my wife never says no to me. She might not enjoy it all the time but she still enjoys making me happy.
@@strawberryme08 He most likely has a goomade'
My wife didn’t want sex, I didn’t want to waste my time engaging in her toxic, narcissistic, entitled, controlling spitefulness aka conversation. We stopped doing both. One of us is doing better than ever
Your wife did not lose interest in s3x. She lost interest in s3x with you. When a woman feels too secure, safe and stable in a relationship, they lose interest in s3x because for women anxiety, insecurity, and challenge are required to maintain her s3xual attraction for her man.
@@rayrwyr ah well. She’s not feeling secure and stable in her relationship now but I’m still not interested. It’s simply not worth investing in all that crazy and chaos. I feel calm and content when she’s not around
@@rayrwyrreally?! So what goes for us?! When there are issues we bring up and women don’t want to be accountable for any issues?! Why is it that men have to deal with insecurity but a women can’t? Should t they also learn how to handle life matters? We all learn to grow up and move on… then learn to rekindle what makes a couple interest vs having to put burden on each other? Women today claim they want equality but don’t want to put any effort into the spark of the relationship.
The only things women love unconditionally are their children and their pets! They only love or keep us around if we’re able to provide something they need or want. If that ends so does the relationship. It’s been that way since the dawn of time. Men fall in love and need that woman that first caught his eye, where as a woman will fall for what’s best for HER. A woman can be flipping burgers at McDonald’s and a man, even with a good job and salary, can fall head over heels, the opposite is NEVER true. I’ve been married for 25 years and love my wife dearly, and we are still very affectionate with one another. However I still know the reality of nature and accept it. If my wife quit her job and said she wants to stay home now and take care of things and have dinner waiting for me every day after work, then I would figure out how to still pay bills, and stay married and still getting it. Reverse the situation and role, we would be divorced by Christmas!! It is what it is!!
Coming up on 47 years of marriage and three years ago my wife informed me that she didn’t want sex anymore. After talking with her gal friends (mostly widows) she says all women reach that stage. We have children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I’m not interested in losing my family over this so I accept it. I still love and want her but, her denials are like a dagger through the heart. She won’t talk to her doctor about anything that she can do to help. It just sucks!
55 years of marriage for me and 14 years since I last saw it getting really frustrating though a lot of by 7475-year-old females of lost her husband who need a little help and I keep asking me for it. I keep praying and saying no, but my wife sure doesn’t make it easy.
Hire an escort
If the relationship is at least in reasonable shape, I just can't understand why a woman who doesn't want sex for whatever other reason can't just at least go through the motions for the sake of her husband (or for that matter, in those rare instances, a husband for his wife).
Stress, or "not in the mood", are ridiculous excuses to withhold. Every woman comes into marriage knowing that sex is a high priority with men, how do you all not see this as an obligation? Men do all kinds of superficial things that are unenjoyable, even detestable to please their wives, how she can't provide for this rudimentary need in return is unthinkable to me. She doesn't even have to do a thing, just lay there, be her beautiful self, and be loved. The door she is opening wide to cheating in doing so is really concerning.
Sacrifice from both is crucial to a good marriage. God says in his word, do not deny the sexual desires of one another. Does a man have to have a completely clean slate (have done little to no wrong in the recent past) in order for him to be worthy of sex? This is another weak excuse commonly used. Forgiveness is also crucial in marriage. I'm not saying anything that's not totally obvious here, why is this so difficult?
@@joeroyward6457if you made it 40 years with sex in your marriage, consider yourself lucky. Most women tap out LONG before that.
Either there's something wrong with her or with monogamy.
In some states before no fault divorce, withholding sex used be a valid cause for divorce. Look it up: Alienation of Affection. It was a real thing back when.
Should bring that back
It still is and yes women going into this new feminist mentality has really killed a lot of marriages! Women felt like they hold men to be accountable but if opportunity comes their way? Don’t be surprised they would take the bite of the apple and then defend themselves like it’s ok?
A sexless marriage is nothing more than having a roommate.
Roommates are better. They come with no expectation of anything more.
Yeah
I gave up a long time ago, I’m not begging for it anymore. I’ve climbed up on it before and it’s not worth the effort to please someone who says to me “do what you have to do and get off me” just terrible !!!!!
If the woman in your life won't change,you've got to change the woman in your life.
Phenomenal quote, but what if that woman is the best person you encounter during your life?
You can change as well 😮
@@mslice09 And if I'm not "getting any" just WHAT am I supposed to change?
@@13enji If she's the best she's not holding back. There are 3.5 BILLION women on the planet. There's at least 100 MILLION who will do what you want her to do.
@@NURREDIN Change her mind.
My ex had ‘headaches’ so often during our two decades of marriage that I was concerned she had brain cancer. Twenty five years since divorce and she’s still around and apparently not suffering from headaches at all.
Your wife did not lose interest in s3x. She lost interest in s3x with you. When a woman feels too secure, safe and stable in a relationship, they lose interest in s3x because anxiety, insecurity, and challenge are required to maintain her s3xual attraction.
@@rayrwyri was trying to explain that to a simp coworker i have. Might as well just talked to the floor 😂😂😂😂
@@rayrwyr hence, "treat em mean keep em keen". They seem to like guys I would call unstable.
This is a selfish woman problem, not a mismatched sex drive problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got that right!
It's a problem when she is being contradictory. She doesn't want to have sex spontaneously, but she also doesn't want to schedule sex because it's not spontaneous.
Then you watch porn, and she is frustrated because you don't give her affection. The spiral goes down...
😂😂😂😂
women 🤷
It's called "withholding". It's actually a narcissistic behavior. It's a real thing people do to control.
Leave her, shes likely getting it from someone else at that point
This is why Prostitution is called the oldest profession.
I have always had a straight forward understanding with my wife that we only have sex on the days we sleep or eat. 20 years later and we both really happy and healthy having followed that policy!
After wasting an entire life married to someone like this, my advice would be, if you are still young enough to start over, leave her NOW! Do not negotiate. Do not waste one more minute on her. Dump her and run as far and as fast as you can away from her. A woman like this will never change. Her next move will be to sucker you into wasting more time waiting for her to change.
No sex = no relationship.
I would be out the door as soon as this became a thing in a relationship. Don't stay. You will go insane...
Exactly, found myself a loving filipina who is on the same page in bedroom and so many other things 😊
Too late.
Financial relationship ..not an emotional one 😮
Single is better than putting up with nonsense. 😊
@@ozvikingsI spent 9 months in the Philippines 82,83 while in the Seabees. Best time in my life.
I struggled for a decade with sex starvation with my ex wife, we wer20+ years together. My new lady since 2011, think the longest pause is about a week....it's like day and night. I don't know the reason, think its simple, some genuinely like it more than others, choose a good match for You. That is obviously easier said than done, but if they don't like it, they dont.....
The old saying goes, " when you say I do, then she says I don't!"
Been married for 32 years and I gave up 25 years ago trying with my wife. Tried all the recommendations to no avail. Having children I have a duty to them.
Sorry for your loss 😮
You should have a side piece. It’s not cheating if you don’t have a sex partner in the first place.
well I was in the same boat until I realized there are other people in the same or similar position, with a good marriage otherwise, and its not cheating if your the only person in the game. do what you gotta do to keep your sanity .
@@timrobertson299 I’m not saying have another relationship emotionally but a man needs to satisfy his needs and rubbing one out doesn’t cut it. My buddy stopped having sex with his wife when he was fifty after 20 years of trying to bring her around. Says she only had sex for kids or when he pleaded. He visits an Asian massage place twice a week for sex with the same worker and it completely ended his resentment. He thinks that his wife knows he’s doing something but never mentions it. Not a perfect marriage but he does what he can.
you also have a duty to your wife. through sickness and in health. if you have hormone issues take care of it, but contrary to these comments dare not attempt to breed with another.
How many times a week does the plumber, pool boy or milkman come to the house? It’s important to find that out…
Or her " girlfriend"
Well then the next service staff will be female and I will be there when they do the service to be sure everything is done correctly ;) Of course i will take some extra care that they will feel comfortable.
Many Overtime at work
Porn has rotted your brain
Office worker cannot be ruled out😂😂😂😂😂😂
Most Men don’t know what they’re signing up for when it comes to marriage.
They're figuring it out. MGTOW is growing.
Look at your wife's mother and her marriage...that's a huge indicator of what's going to happen. When young your girl will use sex to keep you around... When you are attached, they flip the switch
Yup, it is a lot of work. Lots of selflessness, empathy, patience, forgiveness, etc. But it is worth it. However, I’d never stay in a sexless marriage. Not what I signed up for. Breach of contract.
They know what they signed up for ..but not with a different person.... people change as time goes by. and that's the game changer.😮
As a comedian, once said
Getting married to get free sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts
For the first question in these sexless cases, it seems that the woman acted like the man (wanting sex when the sudden urge hit) when the relationship began but after a while they stop and even act like they don't want to do it at all. Are they lying now or were they lying then? They often become two different people and men say to themselves, "I was duped because this isn't the person that I married !!" The old joke creeps up that says, "Guys, if you don't want to have sex, just get married."
"Responsive desire"= I'm now showing my true self, I don't like sex but lied to you early on because I'm selfish and want what I want regardless of the damage to others
There is no such thing as someone not liking sex thats abnormal. Has to be medical or mental reasons behind it if thats the case.
If your wife doesn't want sex. Just say "o.k. I'm going out". Then leave, come back real late and say nothing.
Lmbo 😂
Exactly! If he’s not getting any sex from the wife. He has no other choice but to go out and get it somewhere else. The Women that get mad at me for saying this are the ones that are causing this to happen.
@@ozzycortesyou're the missing the point. She was never attracted to their partner to begin with....😂
It was a resource grab period.
Uh no…Las Vegas, Amsterdam, and Bangkok ❗️
Cheating is the key
I was married 24 years with 2 kids. We had sex 4-6 times a year.
She cheated on me and divorced me. She got remarried within 6 months. I took a year to process what happened. No sex no dating. Got my own closure.
For the past 6 months I’ve been dating a lady I went to high school with and my life is so much better.
Now I actually feel loved back. This is just a very broad overview of what happened but I will say that I now see that I wasn’t asking for too much in my marriage. I was just asking the wrong person. Friends told me I would get through the divorce and it would get better. It was a rough year but they were so right.
I now wish she would have divorced me sooner. Hope this helps someone.
My new husband was married for ten years…. His first marriage had its difficulties and he married because of an unintended pregnancy…. But I do believe a nearly sexless marriage was the final straw…. He would say sex three time for two kids…. The last year of marriage no sex…. He was done. Warned her a year before asking for divorce that things needed to change…. And she was shocked when he divorced her. There was little connection other than kids…. He ended up with kids 80% of the time as was much happier.
I understand all the ‘transitions’ a woman goes thru during the lifecycle of a marriage but NONE OF THEM are a reasonable excuse for a sexless marriage. Unless the wife INITIATES steps to address and improve that part of the marriage, it will be construed as a ploy to get more sex! If the husband encourages couples counseling with a sex therapist, it will be thrown in his face as a scrupulous means to an end. Simply put, the constant rejection is heart-hardening. It’s almost as if men are made to believe there was never a genuine sexual attraction or that we must ‘work extra hard’ in order for her to become interested at all. If there was an ‘issue’ with me that effected the quality of her experience, I’d never hear the end of it and fully expected to work on improving/mitigating that ‘issue’ for the good of the relationship. For men, it’s a trap - if we speak on it, we’re considered thirsty, desperate or insensitive. If we decide to leave, we’ll take the blame and lose everything! It’s no wonder that younger men are avoiding marriage altogether.
I think it's a power play. Women have understood since early adulthood the power of their parts. Underlying, there may be resentment, anger, jealousy, ungrounded or not.
You got that right!
Wedding cake ruins a woman's sex drive. Dating it was a least once a day... then got married. She never wants it anymore. My best friend who signed as witness at my wedding got divorced after I got married. My wife knows she's my best friend and I've always hung out with her. I hang out with her at her house few times a month. Problem solved and my wife just thinks we hang out and have beers (which we do that too).
Bait and switch. She got the big party, status, security, and access to resources so no more need to put on a show.
@@batsukamuro but you are putting in the same effort, right?
This cannot be blamed 100 on her though. Most husbands will not act the same either. If we would act like we did before marriage (when pursuing the woman) she would be more likely to have sex. It’s such a common problem in most marriages
@@jomorrow1not really, what comes first...chicken or the egg
@jomorrow1 in my first marriage, my effort decreased because the sex decreased.
The man shouldn't always need to initiate and when the answer every time you do is always NO and she never tries to initiate, eventually yoy stop trying . If she doesn't pick up the ball after it's in her court, then she's the problem.
I lost mine once but a group of women found it and gave it back to me.
My wife and I are an older couple. She has gone through menopause and one of the results is that she no longer can lubricate herself and sex became extremely uncomfortable for her. Using artificial lubricants hasn't helped as well as checking with doctors on the situation. I'm sad about this in that I'm still interested in sex at my age but there's not much I can do. I love her and she does love me and we do fool around with her helping me out but it doesn't happen often. My point is that sometimes the decreased desire for sex is not always emotional or something to do with arousal but is sometimes the stuff of life and how our bodies change. I wish there could be more but I'm happy for us to be together and really happy that she puts up with me at all!! LOL
The reality is.... if it's not a mutual thing... the relationship has come to an end. I know several women who have gotten to this point, and they are miserable, and their husband is miserable. They are friends, so I talk to them from the "Guys" point of view. And to be honest, when it's just mental work to stay in that situation (Friction) the solution is simple... go your own way.
If you really hate sex -get married -sex goes away after the honeymoon stage. Peace and grace
Something like that, you kinda right, I guess. I mean long after my honeymoon my wife and I didn't have that problem we were still going at it like we were in heat. But for me the older I get the less I think of, and the less I desire sex. I mean I can go a damn month and some without considering sex. I don't know if that's a good thing.
I heard marriage is unlimited sex. That is why guys get heart attacks, from too much sex, they can't keep up.
@@tonemack2981👏🏾👏🏾your statement is much more truthful/realistic & not sarcastic
What are my options for E.D. if I'm unable to use the E.D. drugs. I'm in my early sixties and a virgin
--------------‐------------ married folks always have sex .....just not w/spouse ....that's not really true or really that false ....
Q.1) Bro, you've been trapped. She's done with you. Getting ready to cash you in! Pay Pay Pay
Even the most toxic relationships can have great sex. That just proves that there is no point in doing all the chores and the wife will be horny. Sexual compatibility is super important.
But why is that? Seems so contradictory
Most divorce is from sexless marriages.😮
No sex, no marriage. Divorce is the way to get more action in your life. Hope you have a good prenup too cause divorce will cost you.
Worst advice. Ever.
@@vaeshethblade931 looks like you spelled the word best wrong.
@@vaeshethblade931 Why is that bad advice?
The way she had the biggest smile when she said use it or loose it tells me a lot lol
Wife withholding? Only 2 solutions.
1. Get a Divorce
2. Find a side piece
3. Go to therapy/couples counselling and figure out what her blockers are whether hormonal or emotional and work through that together.
@@strawberrykatnz A leopard does not change his/her spots!
Still true 1000 years later.
Wrong. Get a chick first!
prevention is better than cure. don't get married 😁
@@strawberrykatnzNO
I haven’t had sex with my wife since 1999. A friend suggested a Japanese sex doll. I love my wife, and think she is beautiful, so as ordered a doll that resembles everything about my wife. I received it about 5 yrs ago, and she sits in the closet, as she too refuses to have sex with me.
That is really funny.
Your funny
You’re gonna have to take her out on some dates.
😂
That is AWESOME !!
Hi Rena. Thank you so much for another great video. You are always a wealth of really useful information. I love you and I love your channel. You're the best. Love always, Cal.
Things have changed between my wife and I these past few months. I miss being with her the way we were. I've found a place to escape when thoughts of her cloud my mind. I started watching Electric Girls and spending time with them on the internet. I know that they're Electric and I don't exist to them and they don't exist to me but it feels good spending time with ladies that don't want anything from me in this life. They just want to hang out and have a good time... Just like me...
This format is a nice change to do every so often.
Stopped it in 2003. Nothing you can do about it. Quite happily told me about a drunken night on a business trip with a colleague in 2017. Of course, I almost high fived her. Im not an attractive guy so will never get anything on the side. Makes me really sad sometimes.
Go on holiday to Indonesia or the Philippines. Get Tinder Gold. You will do just fine.
Women see sex as a transaction that can be used to bring you closer, get you to buy or do something for her or control you, so when you get married, you have absolutely nothing to bargain with. What's yours is hers, and what's hers is hers.
Thank you as always Dr. Rina for all your amazingly informative and professional videos, and sharing all this useful information with all of us! :) :) :)
If your wife is never in the mood then you must also not be in the mood. The hugs, kisses etc stops. No signs of affection, no talking unless necessary etc. Become a roommate. In a few weeks she will either notice it and say something or not (most likely relieved). If the later your marriage is over. If she mentions it then just say she’s not in mood so you are taking steps to not bother her. It might be a phase or a deeper issue. If she’s open to talk then it might be a phase or mad at you. But the key point is not to have sex with her if she wants it right then. Even if you talked it out and worked out your problems don’t!!. Do not say you’re tired etc. Tell her you are not in the mood and refuse it. This will establish she cannot use sex as a weapon. Later you can have sex and see if things changes. If she doesn’t care then it’s over, plain and simple. The old saying reversed “If she wanted to, she would!”. Oh I have to have sex whenever he wants??? No, but you have to want it sometimes. If you cared you would want it.
Seems passive aggressive.
@@Tomcat82 it is. If you tried to talk etc and nothing is working then this will give you the answer you need.
Or Go to gym . Time to trade in.
Too complicated
It happened to me. Sexless "marriage " for 10 years. Now I ha e severe ED and hormone imbalance 😢😢
Dr Malik is amazing.
I used to be in an almost sexless marriage. The best thing I ever did for myself was divorce her. I remarried later and ended up having 5 kids. We’ve been married about 17 years now and she has never turned down my advances for sex. In fact, our sex life has only improved as she has felt more comfortable living out her deepest fantasies.
BTW, the issue is not mismatched desire. The issue is the wife no longer views her husband as a real man that other women want because he doesn’t lead the relationship, always placates her, does too much for her, doesn’t put her in her place. The wife loses respect for her beta provider. I can guarantee that Chad at the bar can chat her up and have her all he wants within a few hours, no problem.
I am embarrassed to say I stayed in a marriage for twenty years, all but the first year sexless. I “stayed for the kids”.
THE most stupid action of my life. If a woman does not regularly have sex and you want to, this is not marriage. When anyone asks me if they shoukd get divorced my answer is yes, and do it yesterday! Counseling is just the last stop on the divorce train, don’t waste your time.
I have been with a woman for ten years now(married for six) who never says no to sex. We get along great and I am the happiest I have ever been. My only regret is staying in that marriage when I should have gotten out tight away.
This question reminds me of the scene in the 1st version of the 1991 movie "City Slickers." Billy Crystal's character says," A woman needs a reason to have sex. A man just needs a place to have sex." Haha! I assume there is some truth in that statement. 😊
A LOT of truth to that statement
They only need a reason with their husbands. When they are single there are very few restrictions.
I wish young men would read these comments before they get married
I am never disappointed. Thank you Doctor Malik.😊
Very loving thanks for a lovely subject.❤
Regarding "post-void dribble": We had a rhyme when I was a kid that went, "You can shake, jiggle, or dance, but the last drop will go in your pants." LOL
Excellent video, as usual, Dr. Malik.
No wonder divorce rates are 40-50%. I don't think people want to get married purely for sex obviously, but marriage without sex (or seldom) just sounds sad...
Thank u for all the knowledge Dr , God bless u.
Dear Dr Malik. you are so imaginative I could almost believe you.
Responsive desire. She didn’t want to at first, but she needed to be warmed up. This is good Intel for men! Thank you.
Regarding your caller with post urinary “dribble”, I’ve found that “ milking” the penis a couple of times and then using a little toilet paper seems to help most of the time. I hope this helps him. Because it is a real inconvenience.
Usually Cialis clears up the problem.😮
Longer hoses take longer to drain.
Sit to pee. It's better for a man's penile /urinary health.
It's quieter and cleaner too
3:01 thats a great way to explain sexual neglect. Sexual neglect is abuse and men should not put up with it can you imagine somebody cornering the market of sex in your relationship and then not giving it to you I wouldn't be buying any gifts are any holidays
Most married men live through an almost decades long "dry spell" Now, my wife wants it more than I do. What the doctor is saying is spot on. Guys use sex as stress relief, but women get turned on when they are stress free. When your kids are pre-teen up until they are young adults, will be the most stressful time in your lives. Add menopause to that, and you can see why she might not be in the mood. Guys, make time for your wife, be romantic without insisting it leads to sex, try to reduce stress, and work together on a schedule to fool around. Be realistic, once a day is crazy talk, but once a week is great. You will get through it and will have a load of fun when you are empty nesters.
That is just sad. Why can't the wife just outsource the sex? Why does she have to abuse the husband by never having sex with him, but not letting him get it other places.
@@jimj2683 It's not abuse to say no to sex. Abuse in a sexual way is when it's non-consensual on either side and forcing it is abuse. It's about improving communication and mutually deciding what's an agreed compromise for both if the balance isn't right. Maybe she can help him but not have it the other way around, masterbate, there are lots of options without going to a third party and breaking that trust.
@@strawberrykatnz To put it bluntly, sex is the main reason men deal with women. This bait and switch women do is frankly wrong.
The man cannot pick and choose when he has to fulfil his husband's duties. Sex is the wife's duty. If she doesn't want to do it, don't complain if he goes elsewhere. This nonsense needs to stop
@@strawberrykatnz depriving your spouse of sex is abuse. It is grounds for divorce in my book.
@@odin5188 or just don't get married, nowadays there's literally zero incentive for men to get married
well that was my 7 yr marriage along with also not wanting to be touched and being put down all the time and being told im worthless now divorced
Good for you divorcing her
I was in two relationships that apply here. One I was with an old friend. She hit on me in a club. Come to find out she was in a no love marriage. The second, we had the greatest sex. But down the road not so much. I decided to make the first mood several times. Things were perfect. So sometimes we have to initiate sex. It's not the end of the world guys. Just make the first move and you're back on track.
We appreciate your thoughtful and compassionate approach to addressing these important topics. Your insights on mismatched sexual desire are particularly helpful; understanding responsive desire and the value of scheduling intimate time can make a big difference in long-term relationships. The segment on post-void dribbling was informative, and your practical advice is sure to help many. We also loved how you debunked myths about vaginal odor-so important to highlight the natural self-cleaning ability of the vagina. Overall, this episode was packed with valuable information, and your clear, empathetic communication style really shines through. Looking forward to more episodes like this!
With PeakErect you can manage Erectile Dysfunction 👀😉
Relatively newly married woman…. And the sex has lessened since marriage. I have never denied my husband and in fact I believe I start intimacy more often. It is just interesting that a lifelong commitment changes the dynamics…. We were having sex nearly daily before marriage and now 2-5 times per week. It is still good but…. I do miss it a bit. All it takes is being close to him to get me in the mood.
You are a good woman and a good wife. He is a lucky man. As a man myself, keep doing what you’re doing and he will move heaven and earth for you if he’s a good moral man.
🦄
What to do? You return to Thailand and trade her in for a new one. Done. NEXT QUESTION!!!
I've been married for 34 years. If the wife isn't putting out regularly, I have advised her that I will sue her in court, and she will have to pay up in full on the defenses table when I win. Sex in a marriage is not a tool or a weapon or even a reward or punishment thing. If she's trying to pull that crap make her stop immediately or divorce her quickly. There's no grey area here.
Last question - its fun thats all you need to know :)
I think because its a taboo and its very intimate too.
If you move to Nevada prostitution is legal, problem solved !
germany same here
Works, but risky, unless you have a good relationship/ understanding with her. Nice if you have a regular, certainly cheaper than divorce, in that way you keep your cake and eat it.😊 Everyone is happy, including sexless wife. Win win
So it's in most of the world
My hand never says no
😂
Her hand also never says no!
😂😂😂😂
Rosy Palm and her five friends will never turn you down! 😂
Great video
There are very loving, very clever women, who are able keep that fire burning constantly.
You really need to find one of these👍🏼
And it helps the relationship, NOT to get married.
Man: Honey are you in mood today?
Woman: Nope!
Man: Ok i ma go buy some...milk
😂😂😂😂
Why buy a cow when milk is so cheap?
Long time listener first time commenting. Dr. Malik pls speak to the impact of prescription meds on bladder issues. I was gas lighted by doctors and specialists for years for having bladder issues usually ppl twice my age would have, the gotta go gotta go and waking up 2 to 3 time a night to urinate as well having constant pressure and discomfort in the lower abdomen area halfway between the navel and penis (bladder?). I was constantly told it's just my age (early 40s) and I just have to get used to it now. However, I knew deep down that this wasn't the whole story. You see, some days I would forget to take my BP meds (norvasc 5mg) which I'd begun around 40. I realized eventually that those days I had less pressure in my bladder and was able to evacuate the bladder more easily and pee longer more like I remembered peeing used to feel like 10 years ago etc. I felt a bit better generally in all related symptoms on those days. However, my doctors never made this connection despite me mentioning it a few times in passing. Well about 4 years into this life of constant peeing every hour or two at work and everytime id see a bathroom I'd go just in case etc , if we were going out for lunch I had to pee before getting into he car, then pee again before leaving the restaurant, generally my ankles were chronically swollen by now too with major petechiae, I was so used to it I didn't realize it was abnormal. I cudnt tie my laces around my ankles anymore, I'd wear my shoes open laced. One day By accident my doctor finally noticed my ankles routine one visit, his face changed color, he gave me a slew of kidney function tests and long story short ended up changing my BP meds immediately to candesarten 16mg. Within days my bladder issues began reversing, in a few weeks my ankles were back to normal after years, the discoloration vanished in a month, and guess what, all my bladder issues disappeared!! I sleep like a baby thru the night again. I have no discomfort in my bladder. I pee again like I did at 10 years old, long and complete. And I feel key years of my life were spent in misery and no specialist even thought to take pity on me and try changing meds... I wonder how many so called elders (50+) are in similar misery due to medications and just accept it as part of aging when it may well simply be side effects all along! There has to be a conversation about this in the medical community especially by urologists.
I am 53, and my wife (same age) went through menopause a couple years ago. She used to be a rabbit in the sack, and it suddenly turned off. The main "reason" was she went dry, and intercourse actually hurts, which makes her fear it, and then thst kills the desire. We tried lube, all sorts of different ones, but they all seem to give her urinary tract infections, which of course kills the deaire even more. It was tough for a while, until we worked out that as long as we leave out the intercourse part, we still have a sex life, and there is more to our relationship than a vagina around me. I tried it elsewhere a couple times, but the guilt was not good for me, and i found it difficult to just find something to f*ck without getting emotionally involved. And i am certainly not interested in paying for it..
We get old. Our bodies change. If this happened at 25, then it would certainly be an issue, but i have ridden the 'coaster many times. I can drive my old Porsche as often as i like tho, no guilt involved there....😊 All good. If she is worth being with, you will figure a way to make wveryone happy.
I have been on estrogen for over a decade. That has made the urethral bulb for ejaculation expand and not contract as well. That makes post dribble a problem. I use the "milk" technique you describe. Awesome fix.
Never is not the right word- but i do want an upgrade from a monthly pass to atleast a week😊
Once a month ??? Lucky bastard.
I do feel lucky that my partner and I still have plenty of physical intimacy after 6 years. We still can't keep hands of each other.
We both have very high libidos and recognize that huge importance of sex in a relationship.
Maybe I'm odd but as the guy I've always done most of the cleaning and stuff like that around the home. Partly because I'm a clean freak. I really enjoy cooking as well. Cooked for her tonight. My partner and I are always connecting, being passionate and affectionate. I love that about us. We also never turn the other down. We both agree that emotional and physical connections are key, always. I love that we are always touching, holding hands, etc. Find that person that gives you that heat and spark. It's out there. Life is too short otherwise.
We don't believe in date night.
One thing that's important to us as well is staying in great shape. We also like to train at the gym together. It heats things up.
Yeah that will change. Just you wait.
Frankly, it's a lottery, and there's no way of knowing whether you have a winning ticket beforehand.
You’re one of the luckiest men alive!
Enjoy your honeymoon 😂
Six years??? It will eventually change. Ever hear of the seven year itch? Not saying it will be seven exactly….. might be 17 years.
Looking lovely Dr Malik 🌹
The “SCHEDULING SEX!?”
No way does that work for me at all!
I believe women at an older age, do not care about sex.
They will say they need to be
“RELAXED & WILLING”,
And when men try to accommodate that
-
Here comes another excuse!
Married for forty years. 20 of those sexless and I thought that was our sexlife done until a snippy comment one day about sex. Sex is back, regular and very passionate. I’m very happy because we were always great mates in every other aspect.
PLEASE explain more about that “snippy comment”??
What was the comment?
😂…… We were looking at a new house build and the house we were looking at had a huge bedroom and en-suite and I said something about not needing such an elaborate setup because we only sleep in there. Can’t remember her exact comment but it was quite sarcastic about only using the bedroom for sleeping. That was my cue. First chance after that, it was “on” and has been ever since. I think too many of us get tied up with providing and looking after kids and the older they get the higher the demands on our time and money and it’s just exhausting. So our sex life becomes a casualty. No kids at home anymore so there really was no excuse and to be honest, we were a bit clunky for a bit till we got back in the groove again but it’s all smooth sailing now. AND best of all, regular.
@@MrSickpuppy10Your story is the dream for sexless marriage victims.. Rena should interview you and your wife.
Go to Las Vegas, Amsterdam, and Bangkok!
And come back with more then you bargained for
What do they do there?
Thank you for true Dr. Facts
"Compromise means two people both not getting what they want." Orion Taraban.
My wife has caused my ED from never wanting sex. I’m 69 and she is 65. We have been married a long time too. This started about 15 years ago. What should I do? Get a penis implant and go elsewhere? She says Sex is for younger people. Like hell
Go somewhere else. This is cruel what these women do to their husbands.
Then find someone much younger than yourself and she should be OK with it.
I have a similar issue, even post divorce.
It’s easy, if you keep in shape, treat her good, your romantic and attentive. You share all the work to be done , work hard and provide for her. Encourage her to do the same , communicate.
And she still doesn’t want you sexually, ask her to get checked out medically and psychologically.
If that checks out normal, then she’s cheating on you. Because if she loved you she’d take care of your needs too
Being a stay at home mom is unbelievably straining. It is so draining. She needs time to unwind.
Watch the kids a give her a night off. I chose one job to do around the house and I've done it for the last 35 years and that is changing the sheets on the bed and keeping them fresh, it feels so good. Wash the old sheets, fold and put them away. This the easiest job but so rewarding for her.
Lmfao. I thought for sure you were being sarcastic with your first line, but Holy shit, you were serious! 😂
I was in a sexless marriage I will tell you for a guy that is very torturous situation. Needless to say we divorced I lost everything but I am living my best life right now not married. And I will never marry again ever.
Your eyebrows didn't flicker one bit on the last question 😂👏
How many people went straight to the last question ?
I think that sexual behavior can be linked to relationship satisfaction. Get couples counseling. Get to the root of the problem. If it's stress related counselling may reduce the stress and thus increase sexual desire.
well you make it sound easy. Be sure its not that easy. Maybe if you have a lot of money you simply hire nannies.
No, some women are just selfish prudes when it cones to sex, and make no effort to make a husband happy even if he is perfect in every way she wants him to be.
Great video, good questions and short and to the point !! Where do we submit questions for AMA ?
It is best to endure celibacy in solitude. My situation seems to familiarity bred contempt for me. I am independent and free, yet grateful for our experiences together.
Is it normal for men in their 60’s to not finish when having sex everytime?
Two long term relationships. Both virtually sex less. One married for 21 years and two children. It ended in divorce with her departing for another partner, whom she had another child with. The second and current was never based on attraction or sexual compatibility relationship. We are basically house mates. The one common between NEITHER were initiators of sex, didn't want to be partners, BUT WOULD GO BALLISTIC If another woman showed interest, or I showed interest in another woman. Didn't want me, but didn't want another woman to have me either.
What you are describing is contradictory but not mysterious. If men are twisted into believing that monogamy is sacrosanct, the wife gains enormous power as 'sole provider'. The imbalance is so extreme that it is considered acceptable for her not to 'provide' - but going outside is intolerable.
That sounds exactly like my situation
@@georgekimball2792 I think what you describe is really quite common, but too toxic a subject ever to be the subject of serious academic research, because women would have an interest in shutting it down.
The elephant in the room is what about menopause, after women go through the change they GENERALLY don’t want to engage in bedroom action anymore,this is a fact. If I had a do over I would marry a much younger woman at least 10 yrs. Also after a woman tells you she doesn’t desire sex anymore she’s saying she doesn’t want sex with you, so never beg for sex, if she’s a good cook and a good companion keep her around but if 2 of those things are missing out of the 3 get a divorce life is short, she doesn’t love you anymore despite what she says.
There's a quick fix for when a woman chronically refuses to be intimate with her husband. It's called divorce. It worked for me!
Low testosterone can be low libido. Man and women.
Low testosterone doesn't necessarily cause low libido...it's usually a medical problem.. medications or hormonal imbalance .
I love your UA-cam video before my wife passed away four years ago she always wanted sex I could hardly keep up with her she was in her fifties and I was 6 years younger than her she had diabetes try to keep it under control then she got covid-19 before she got sick she was in the hospital and she come home and she wanted sex and she still didn't feel good I don't think that's a good idea I told her but I didn't should I feel guilty because a couple of days later she went into a coma I think it was because of her sugars she had a high like 300 then it went up to 500 but she was dying for sex when she came home from the hospital should I feel guilty I didn't which I should have I would have had memories the last time we did it cuz I haven't had sex in 4 years I go out with women we're just friends hope I get to see my wife Sylvia someday in heaven do you have a blessed day from Terry
Can men say that "we're not in the mood" to be good husbands today? Or only women have those rights?
It seems like men's duties towards women are mandatory, but women's duties are optional.
Dear Dr Malik. I have a question for your next podcast please. I have had Radiotherapy for Prostate cancer - finished 3 weeks ago. I’m also on Hormone Therapy. I have put weight on, have night sweats etc. I’m finding it difficult to deal with the side effects and my Oncologist wants me to remain on the Therapy for 2 years. My questions are will my testosterone ever be back to normal, will my prostate work again and once the therapy stops, will my testosterone replenish itself or should I take supplements. I hope that these questions are of value to others. Ps. I’m in my late 59’s and I had stage T3 cancer. I’m in uk. Thank you so much in anticipation. Thank you as always for your amazing, informative content.
Read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel... Or Come as you are. Or go see a couples counselor. Or open the marriage. Or all of the above.