I like to imagine that he’s made every single staff member on this show sit through this rant until eventually they collectively said “fuck it, just let him put it on the internet and be done with it”
Just think of the poor corperate lawyers who had to reread The Da Vinci Code to make sure nothing he said was wrong enough to warrent another lawsuit... They are the real victims here!
To be honest if you think to hard about any movie it can be completely destroyed, not saying some are not worse then others but when I go to watch a movie I generally try to turn my brain off and enjoy the movie as is, that is just me and then later I watch the pitch meeting and cinemasins tear the movie a new one lol.
The worst thing about TDC was that in the years after its release, each and every documentary about anything mystical or secret in history had the word "code" in it.
@@Magmafrost13 No they probably would have the History Channel was well on its way to insanity even before this they were well into the secret Nazi conspiracy stuff which is a straight line to Ancient Aliens.
It is just like after Watergate, any kind of government "scandal" has to have -gate added onto it. Monica-gate, Trump-gate, Deflate-gate and so on. It was called the Watergate scandal because it happened at the Watergate Hotel. But here is a wikipedia listing of scandals/conspiracies which become the -gate of the moment: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_-gate_scandals_and_controversies
I remember stealing this from my dad at 9 and ending up convinced I was a genius because i figured it out before the protagonists. So he's really not kidding when he says I child could solve it.
Not me. This topic is near and dear to my heart. I hated and mocked this book when I was a teenager. He's almost stealing my thunder. I was so angry that I wanted my money back for that dumb green hardcover novel.
It's 100% in the "Movies You Watch With Your Dad" genre. Other notable examples include The Mummy, National Treasure, Ocean's 11, Mission Impossible, and Indiana Jones. And the book is in a genre I like to call "books to read on a plane because it was for sale at the airport."
hehe, both my parents told me the book was amazing and I needed to read it... I do not know.. lol.. compared to what I was reading at the time it was a nice short read, sometimes that is great, I just did not like it much, seemed like it was written by a child ?.. hehehehe... sigh.. I did not mind it that much... I had no real thoughts about it whatsoever, it passed the time for a day I guess :D ... lol.. when the film came out, sigh.. I was working nonstop and people were still ranting about divinci code, got dragged to the cinema by my boss to watch it on what I guess was meant to be a double date.. hehehe.. I had a gf and the girl was cool, but I was so exhausted, barely spoke throughout the whole night, thinking and worried about my work hehehe... then all went to a bar later and everyone trying to find meanings in the film and the plot etc hehehe... remember them asking me about it, why I was so silent.. lol.. said emm, think I prefered the book, but that is not saying much... lol.. hehehe.. emmm.. none of them had thought to ask me before going to see it if I had bothered to read the book, lol.. it never occurred to me to mention it, assumed the whole world had for years... lol, were all shocked when they found out.. sigh... honestly I had been working and thinking and whatever for months without sleep hehe.. and still had a lot more work to do before dealines.. why would I care about the silly film ? :) edit: I had a gf that was not the beautiful girl he tried to set me up with hehehe.. lol.. people never think to ask me sometimes about even simple things like that.. lol.... the books and films I think that people love is because they let you turn your brain off, I do not hate them or get mad about them, have no feelings atall hehehe.. not everything has to be an impossible puzzle that only autistic idiots like me can solve :)
@@spookymunky1 Were you an accountant or auditor at that time? (I was an auditor for a large corp. Sometimes work deadline-fears crept into when we were supposed to be having fun after work.)
"My dad told me this book is good, everybody's dad did" made me laugh extra hard, because my dad is a historian and he hates this book with a burning passion 😂😂😂. He's not the only one in my family to hate it: my sister tried to read it when it came out, she was 16. She got halfway and threw it aside, with the exasperated comment "This is the stupidest thing ever". 😆
I feel the same about Twilight - different genre but equally stupid... Vampires are killers and don't f-ing glitter in sunlight! (But my sister loves it! Ugh)
If you REALLY want to piss your dad off, get him to read "Holy Blood, Holy Grail," the (for lack of a better term) source material from which Brown worked.
I bought this book for my best friend's husband and read it the night before I gave it to him. Weeks later he was telling me how much he loved it, while we were seated at a table with a group of his friends. I preceded to tell him how simplistic the writing was, that the characterization were just sketches of people and reading it felt like some sort of torture, for it holds your attention just enough and that you hate yourself for continuing to turn the pages. He was pretty pissed that I embarrassed him in front of his friends and I apologized. But, in my defense, that book is terrible.
“If you’re too young to remember what the world was like when the da vinci code came out… first of all, die.” This line goes harder than anything else John has ever said.
You may already know about this, but I highly recommend checking out Tony Robinson's brilliant skewering of the "facts" behind the book. He explodes the sloppy research point by point. ua-cam.com/video/uB5Zbr-CSFc/v-deo.html
@Historical Book, "genius" sounds like a bit much. Students being more interested in art history sounds nice, but as a student who got swept up in all the DaVinci Code hype, I can say for a fact that it only increased my interest in controversial topics closely related to the book, and left me with a MORE distorted view of history. It basically led to me obsessing over conspiracy theories, and that was the same impression I got from others as well.
As a bibliophile who has a personal grudge against Dan Brown's works, I too thank him. Angels & Demon's climactic scene very nearly gave me an aneurysm. I finished it on an airplane ten minutes before landing and left it behind along with an empty snickers wrapper.
I did. Classic UA-cam slide. First you hit it big with some passion project. Then you start doing book and movie reviews because it's easier to rant about. Then you get political. And finally you start live streaming let's plays in between quasi-monthly video essays about how you taught magpies to lockpick their way out of an escape room built into a hydraulic press.
@@strifera Holy shit. I wanted to start making UA-cam videos again, but haven’t been able to come up with a branding model. Thank you for laying it out for me so clearly.
Thank you, John. You have vindicated all the writers who for the last two decades have been slamming our foreheads full-force against brick walls while screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
What a waste of your time. Really the guy made millions, so while you slam your head you could be writing your own creative passages. And if people like it you will make millions too.
@@talco881 It is a sad statement on humanity that the most brain-dead nonsense generates so much money. I guess no one ever went broke treating people like morons. I eagerly await the asteroid that humanity deserves.
My friends and I got drunk before watching the movie at the theater. I fell asleep about 3/4 of the way through. I woke up when the credits were rolling, so I asked my friend what happened. He told me Tom Hanks died. That’s how I thought it ended for years.
Oh, thank you! I started reading this book on an airplane in 2004 because, well, everyone said it was so great. The prose reads like "See spot run." It was so bad I couldn't get past the first two chapters. A guy sitting next to me said, "What do you think?" I said, "This is so stupid, I'm giving up." He laughed and said, "I thought it was just me! Believe me, giving up now is the right thing to do. Get your life back."
For reference, National Treasure had this riddle; “The legend writ, the stain affected, the key in Silence undetected, fifty-five in iron pen, Mr. Matlack can't offend” The solution being The Declaration of Independence, and it was solved in the same scene it was introduced in!
John Oliver... I didn't even read a full chapter. Was curious what all the hullabaloo was all about, picked up a copy, flipped around a few pages in different sections, and then put it down. Thank you, for giving me the most complete, accurate, overview of it that I've seen.
Fun fact: the Czech dub of the movie kept the word "apple" untranslated. Only the voice actor misspelled it. And they kept it in. That's right, there is a version of the Da Vinci Code that has the Harvard Artthrob Robert Langdon spell out "apple" as A-P-P-E-L.
Fun fact, in the Spanish dub of the movie they didn't use the Spanish word for apple "manzana" but the Latin "pomona", which makes sense, since Newton and other scientists wrote their research in Latin. It also somewhat excuses why people couldn't figure it out immediately, because even if you knew the term, you could be thrown off by using the wrong language. The Spanish dub made the scene way better than Dan Brown!!! Also he didn't spell it.
Yes but that's just an extra part of the puzzle. He was thinking appelle, the French for call. The book was mostly set in France, and in fact it was the fault of the French. Boom.
I worked at a book store in 2003 when this came out. It was the bane of my existence because we could never keep enough copies in stock. When I finally saw the movie, just to see why people went so nuts about it, I was speechless with disappointment. I have been on a hate-binge over this for nearly two decades. This clip gives me the validation I so desperately needed.
You poor dear. People where I worked at a simple blue collar job, were reading that huge book in wonder 🤔. When I saw the movie....😶😝💭. What? Couldn't imagine working in a book store when that came out! 😲🤭 I'm glad you survived. Do continue with your therapy. My heart ❤ goes out to you.
I worked at a branch library when the book was published. We bought--and lost --multiple copies, and bought more to keep up with the demand. I tried to recommend some of the books that looked at--and promoted--the same conspiracies, explaining that those were fringy and entertaining. Few took the offer. Mostly, I concluded, because there wasn't any popular hype for those books, and how could a reader talk with fiends about something unpopular.
I was 14 when i read it just before a trip to Rome... It was the first time I was actually interested in old churches and architecture. It gave me a whole different perspective. So I liked it and got most out of it...
Of course, he spelled it. Dan Brown's writing style, "He entered the room. The sound of the floor was loud in his ears. Across from him is a wall. He scans left to right seeing two more walls. As he enters further into the room, a wall reveals itself behind him. Quizzically he looks up. Not quite making out the dimly lit smooth surface spanning the entirety of the space. It makes sense to him now, c-e-i-l-i-n-g." Yes, the room has a floor, four walls, and a ceiling.
But that was not all. As he turned back to where he came, he spotted a part of the wall where nothing was. "That must have been where I entered from." he pondered. But could he possibly use this passageway as a means to leave the room? He took a single step towards the door. The sound of the floor was ever louder in his ears. He kept walking, as the passage grew larger with each step. d-o-o-r. He now realized that is what he was seeing. He stepped through as the emptiness seemed to pass through him, and exited the room with four walls, a floor, and a ceiling.
Starting with Snowpiercer. We only saw it because my wife chooses films based on popular opinion I can only guess are generated now by algorithyms for money.
5:28 I love how even *the accress* is doing a face of "Oh my god how did we not see that coming" until the next shot where she looks like she just had a revelation 🤣
To be fair, there were two Codexes, and the first one was a much weirder puzzle to solve. Which begs the question: don't you typically make things harder to break into the further in you get? You don't lock the Declaration of Independance in a high security vault then put a bike lock on the glass case holding it, would you? And I say harder to solve, but the clue was written on the page and 12-year-old me didn't even get to that part of the page before saying "that's backwards writing" and holding it up to my bathroom mirror to read the clue.
@@fabriziogonzales9719 In the book, the initial Codex is actually the outer layer of two nested Codexes, the inner of which is the one with the Apple solution. The outer Codex came with a wooden plaque that had the reversed writing carved into it, likely meaning it was intended to be used as a stamp to get the message on paper. The riddle Tom Hanks says in the clip is written on a piece of paper wrapped around the inner Codex.
In your second sentence, you meant to say it RAISES the question. Don't use 'begs the question' as that has a whole other meaning and makes you look like you are uneducated to those that know the difference. Besides that, it took attention away from your main point. You don't want that to happen.
Worst of all... the amount of people that believed it was non-fiction! I remember at that time, even as just a teenager, it drove me absolutely insane!
Oh, gods. I remember getting mobbed by a bunch of church fundamentalists who went nuts protesting this movie. Me and my friends had to literally shove our tickets in thier faces to prove to them that we had in fact *not* seen DaVinci Code and were instead laughing our butts off at Beerfest.
I remember this book and movie being condemned by my Southern Baptist church for its blasphemy against Jesus. But most church members saw the movie anyway just to "warn" everyone else about how blasphemous it is. Solid logic 👌
8:00 This brings tears to my eyes, for so long I have struggled to convince anyone the biggest problem with the da Vinci Code was its complete lack of Bowler Hats. Being the only one to comprehend this enormous plot hole, in 2011 I started to question my own sanity. Finally, validation. Thank you John, just thank you.
not only that, but why the fuck would the code of the puzzlebox be in modern English? I'd understand Aramaic, Greek and even Latin, but fucking modern English? I have to correct myself, the puzzlebox was new and made by the guy that dies in the beginning, so the codeword should have been French, since a French man would NEVER use some other language EVER for anything in his life.
I worked at a book store when this book was still fairly new. A woman came in looking for the Da Vinci Code but before she asked where it was she went combing through the sections she thought it'd be in. Comes over to me and goes "I am looking for a book and I can't find it in the history or the biography sections." When she told me the name we just happened to be standing in the fiction section and I took her right to it saying "that's because it's in the fiction section", or something like that. She goes, "you mean Jesus didn't marry Mary of Magdalene?" and looked absolutely confused. I never read it myself but any time it's randomly brought up somehow I think of that woman.
Mormons think he did!!! Or at least some Mormons- not sure if it’s in actual church doctrine but some for sure believe that since humans have to be married to get into the highest-tier of mormon heaven, and since Jesus is like the model of what people should be, that Jesus HAD to have been married
Not I, but a friend was leaving the NYC showing of the play based on the two first Hillary Mantel books about Sir Thomas Cromwell. A woman behind her said to a companion "I hope Mantel finishes that last book soon. I can't wait to find out what happens to Cromwell."
I work at a used book store currently....and can attest, at least half the adult population genuinely _does not know_ what the terms fiction and non-fiction mean. I cannot begin to count how many times I've asked someone if the book they're looking for is fiction or non-fiction, only to have their confused face say one more time, "It's about baseball. And the guy finds the thing." I'm sure most people would bet on the assumption that most human adults know what fiction and non-fiction mean. But around half of us.....don't. And that never ceases to astound me. In part because....if they don't know THAT....what DO they know? Anything??
My favourite part is earlier than that, when the Da Vinci expert and cryptologist, as well as the French cryptology expert, can't figure out that a message was written using a mirror, even though, once they figure that out, they remember that Da Vinci likes to mirror writing all the time!
I love that John Oliver has so much clout in the industry now that he can basically just say, "You know what, I have beef with this book I read twenty years ago, and I want the world to know it," and then just literally air his grievances on one of the biggest TV stations in the country. That's power you can't buy. EDIT: Just because some people are confused, YES, I know that this is a UA-cam exclusive and that it's not technically airing on HBO, HOWEVER, he IS airing it online under the auspices of the HBO brand, which gives him far greater reach on the online space than most typical youtube channels could ever achieve.
Strictly speaking, this *didn't* air on HBO. This segment was straight-to-UA-cam, which anyone can do. His "clout" is represented by us, in that we're watching it. Still a lot of clout, but slightly less than you give him credit for. =)
@@damp2269 yea I mean he spent probably around 45 mins telling telling Adam Driver to do violent things to him over the course of a season and no one stopped him. I think you're right that a book rant wouldn't even raise our eyebrows at this point. Lol
My grandpa gave me his copy 3 days before he died. He said he really liked it and wanted me to read it. I didn't particularly care for the story but him sharing a book is a nice memory of the last time I saw my grandpa.
This topic is near and dear to my heart. I hated and mocked this book when I was a teenager. He's almost stealing my thunder. I was so angry that I wanted my money back for that dumb green hardcover novel. It really could have been written by a 5th grader.
I know you are probably still very interested in this weird clip you wrote a random comment on a year ago. So fun-fact. Dan O'Brien is a writer on Last Week Tonight.
John Oliver- you are so brilliant. As heartbreaking or silly your topics are- you never fail to impress me and give me comfort even in the pain of some stories. Thank you so very much!
It has taken me over a month to solve this, I have travelled to the catacombs of Paris, explored the frescos of Angkor Wat, delved deep into the Burial Chamber of Sneferu in the Red Pyramid, but I have finally solved it! I think it’s a Pear!
During the height of covid, when I was very bored, I watched all three Da Vinci Code movies. They just get more and more bizarre, but seeing as everything from that time feels like a fever dream, it sort of fits
I think less of him for doing that movie. I had no idea. The reason this dumb book was popular is because it romanticizes religion with some shitty exoticism and glamour. 🤮🤑🤮
3:09, this is one of the reasons I really love John Oliver, and this show. Not only am I getting mocked by my friends who are watching things most teenagers watch, while I'm watching talk shows, the host of my favourite show tells me to straight up die because I'm young. This is the best show HBO has ever aired.
While half my brain is telling me to be mad for spending almost 9 minutes watching this, the other half reminds me that I'd probably watch John Oliver talk about different types of grass for a whole episode so I have no right to be mad
John Green (yes the writer) actually has a podcast episode where he talks about Kentucky Blue Grass for 15 minutes and then rates it. It's surprisingly interesting. If you wanna listen, the podcast is called The Anthropocene Reviewed.
8:08 it's the tie isn't it John. The color red is symbolic of many things in society, blood,anger, violence, but most importantly at the moment passion. I think the key to this puzzle is passion look at the painting we see a cookie cutout business man to be a representation of the American people with an apple upon his face to demonstrate the reality of losing individuality as the restrictive society rips away from us the passion of life and forces us into life we did not want. That is the purpose of the dark color palette of the sky of this work as well. Mean while the red tie symbolizes the cruelest part of modern life that you can pursue your passions as long as they are financial capable of supporting you as a job. Because if they can't you'll have to *grow up* and become something you hate. I think I understand John I truly think I do....... Or it's an apple.
I think John Oliver is envious of Dan Brown, because he clearly pointed to the color green, which is the color of envy. Seeing green with envy. See, now I'll have to go to the Smithsonian to find a green art piece to find the next clue to this puzzle that'll eventually lead me to an ad banner for HBO Go.
Said what? He cowardly stopped half ways. Yes, the book is full of easy riddles. Apple. The mirror writing. etc. On purpose. Average people are dumb. Reading the book, solving the easy riddles bore the protagonists made the readers feel smart. And that's it. That sold the book to millions of dumb people. But John didn't want to lose his crowd, so didn't get to the deduction.
I read the book when I was 12 and at the time, I really enjoyed it. Now I realize how ridiculous and contrived it was. It deserves to be classified as a young-adult fiction book
But it teaches some attitudes about the passivity and gullibility of women and the predatory nature of older men. The CHristians probably dont like the sex part -- by robert or Jesus. I had that thought too. I decided to play the opposer in this comment to tout the con arguments.
I dream of becoming so successful that I can literally just go on camera, bitch about whatever I feel like and people will give me money. On a side note I love when John tantrums like a muppet. Just swinging his arm back and forth, yelling, knocking stuff off his desk. Totally reminds me of a muppet.
The really sad thing about the Apple riddle is that it actually really is a very difficult riddle by Dan Brown’s standards. Another of his books had the entire conflict hinge on no one at the NSA being able to work out that the difference between 235 and 238 is three. God I wish I was joking.
Yeah, it's on the level of that one puzzle from National Treasure where the computer can't figure out that the password is Valley Forge because it has two Ls and two Es. Oh! but Nicholas Cage can!
@@Jarakin Such a shockingly bad book. And then Deception Point had the exact same plot: "specialist" "discovers" "unique information" that "solves/proves the puzzle", while surviving attacks from "professional assassins" while screwing the "young, female sidekick". His writing is cack.
I confess that I enjoyed reading the DC when it first came out, though it did nothing to turn my world inside out. But then I tried reading another novel by Dan Brown and gave up … it was downhill from the somewhat entertaining mole hill of the first book.
The rant we never knew we needed I bet John was going off on this book backstage at the Daily Show, and now hefinally got to air his grievances publicly
Okay...now I want a full series of John just reviewing different media, books, movies, tv shows, that he absolutely hated. I need this more than I can say.
Yeah! A bitter version of Ebert and Roeper except it's just him sitting in the balcony yelling. With occasional guest reviewers played by members of the Impractical Jokers.
I remember reading Angels & Demons (the first in the Langdon series, actually) and thinking it was pretty good, even if it had some over the top unintentionally silly things happening as well... but then I read The DaVinci Code, which was for some reason a MUCH BIGGER DEAL than its predecessor. And I say for some reason because it was essentially the same book, and yet somehow not as good. The first book was kind of fun but I remember being annoyed at the second book. Then I read the last book (I guess it was Inferno?? I've nearly wiped it from my memory at this point) which was everything bad about the first two books amplified by a thousand. Chapters that were only a few sentences long? Yes. A government lab that was so secretive the lead scientist had to walk through it in complete darkness? Yeah. The main character dying and then coming back to life? Pretty sure I didn't misremember that. It was bad bad bad bad bad. Then they announced the movies and I was like "Nah, I'm good," but somehow ended up seeing them because I visited the wrong people at the wrong time. I'm glad we can take a break from 2022 sucking to look back in time to remember why my college years sucked.
Yeah, after TDC they get worse and completely forgettable. I literally forgot about "Inferno" (couldn't even remember the book's title), and the one called "The Last Symbol" was atrocious too. Apparently there's been another book as well, but the decreasing quality, along with the cliche style means I wouldn't bother reading it.
Me the opposite order. I now think that the first book is ok because it is new. After that, it's like a second dinner. You have made me so glad I skipped #3. Happy holidays, 2023.
What I like about The Da Vinci Code is that if you hate it, you could easily read Umberto Eco's "Foucault's Pendulum", which is basically the same plot but written by someone who knows what he's talking about.
THANK YOU. I've long described this book to people (perhaps insufferably so) as "Thinking man's Da Vinci Code." Written by someone who knows what they're talking about, yet simultaneously doesn't take itself nearly as seriously.
@@marks6051 Foucault's Pendulum doesn't take itself seriously? I don't know, Umberto Eco seems like just about one of the most pretentious writers around.
@@noahkidd3359 Haha well, I can't disagree with that even though I do like him. I guess I meant because the book treats conspiracy theories with a bit more satire than Brown. I mean, at one point we're not sure if the documents are a religious plot spanning generations or just someone's grocery list.
I've always had a different problem with the book. So the problem with the cryptex is that there's a bottle of vinegar inside and if you force it open then the vinegar would corrupt the papyrus, but, like, couldn't you freeze the vinegar? It's not even that hard, the freezing point of vinegar is -2°C (28F)
@@vaerix0 Even easier for a physicist. The bottle of Vinegar is both broken and unbroken before you open the cryptex. Basically, DaVinci's Cryptex is like Schrödingers Cat. Simply crack open the cryptex where the bottle is unbroken. You're welcome.
You could also just use a drill or file to shave off the side of the crytex in a way that won’t break the bottle if the bottle is strong enough to survive you putting in the code it can definitely survive filing My solution stabilise the cryptic with clamps and then use an industrial sander to sand off the top
I have never liked a John Oliver video. I do not subscribe to his channel. Yet, his videos keep appearing on my feed… and I cannot stop watching. What have you done to me John?
For the players to solve on the spot in what is basically a free form improve setting. Movies are scriped dramas, the puzzle can be fiendishly complicated or even impossible as long as you make the audience believe the character is smart enough to solve it that's all you need.
But this worse, if the guy knew some actual history it wouldn't have worked. there never was a apple and Newton never incurred the wrath of the church.
@@chriswoo2289 I feel your pain. My group once got stuck in a room slowly filling with poison gas for two hours of real time while we tried to figure out a puzzle that we thought would let us escape when we solved it. It turned out the door was unlocked.
I've read all of them (Dan Browns books that is) and totally get Johns criticism. They are, nonetheless, highly entertaining imo. Perfect for a vacation.
The tragedy of his books is, that they start out absolutely amazing and engaging. You feel some incredible mystery unfolding, you have main protagonists who can't use force to stop the evil nemesis and have to outsmart or outrun them. The feel of urgency - all of that. And then, just when you, the reader feel to have unsolved the riddle, like in a good ol' Sherlock Holmes story - the author pulls the rug under you with a 'Lolz no - regardless of what you figured out, you're wrong. The baddie is someone barely mentioned or was glossed over or portrayed as the good one with not a single shred of clue for you and he did it because he's fuckin' crazy! HA! Didn't think of that smarty pants?' The endings are rushed and insulting. Which hit's doubly hard, because the rest of the story IS really good.
@@uefets they're based on the literally works of Pierre Plantard who initiated a failed attempt at creating a Neo Chivalric Order called The Priory of Sion in 1956....read up on it, it's a super crazy and interesting story especially given that many people believed that Dan Brown was revealing these deep conspiracies through his books back when they were popular...then you find out it was all based on a French hoax from the 1950s
i worked in a book store when this book came out and stayed on the bestseller lists for so long that people would angrily buy the hardcover since there was no paperback in sight at the time lmao
Here's what my agent said to me back when this novel came out: "Most literary agents will agree that Dan Brown is not a good writer... but *ALL* agents are looking for the next Dan Brown."
@@googiegress7459 That's exactly it. Nobody wants a book where the central puzzle is so difficult that nobody has a chance to work it out. That just makes the readers feel dumb and they might not buy the next book. The average person isn't that smart, so it has to be pretty blatant.
@@aceshighdueceslow Admittedly that ones popularity stemmed from nostalgia as much as anything else... probably the only thing that kept me reading was that the first clue was a D&D adventure.
@@aceshighdueceslow Oh, please do read Ready Player Two (a stupid name, for starter). It's shockingly awful and its protagonist shockingly creepy. There should be free online copies.
Ah, the classic Dan Brown writing technique: end every chapter in a cliffhanger, build on the premise of a conspiracy theory, the trusted father figure is always the villain, and the sidekick ally is a pretty woman that the author’s self-insert main character will doing in the last chapter and then forget about in the next book.
I came to say the same thing. Every single book he writes is basically the same. Started with Digital Fortress. The bad guy is someone trusted that you find out betrays you halfway into the book.
You remember the movie signs? The aliens were so scary and formidable they flew right into a big ball of the one thing that can kill them lol. I never got over that
I was hoping this would be about how the free association-style puzzle solving presented in the book primed people to later go along with similarly bad reasoning in conspiracy theories and Qanon in particular. But this was great, and not quite as depressing
@@thenextprodigy815 To be fair, that started waaayyy before DaVinci Code, you can already blame X-Files for priming pop media audiences for conspiracy theories taking hold.
@@RoonMian Ah I guess you're not wrong but as little as I'm acquainted with the wretched book and its offspring, I can vouch that X-Files at least sometimes indulged in artful self parody that bordered genius, a redeeming quality I suspect is nowhere to be found in the Da Vinci mess. I particularly recall a superb marsh monster episode that deserved a special Emmy all by itself .
... And he can have me. Worst he could do was spazz out and give us a proper cup of tea. HBO would give us lunch. I would go home happy with a story to tell🤣
I got kicked out of a Catholic church book club and threatened with excommunication simply because I admitted I read it... I am no longer Catholic because of this book lol thank you Dan Brown 😂🤣
I remember the craze.... and was talking to my wife about all the buzz while we were on the Subway.. a total stranger over-heard us and said, "I'm an English teacher, and that book is a wonderful example of how NOT to write an English sentence". Very convincing... I waited for the movie.
Lol I have to agree, if a grown man spelled the word apple to me, as another grown adult, I would be furious. But the look on her face like she is still confused gets me.
If you like this, check out "obsessive popculture disorder" from the original cracked. Its host, Daniel O'brien, ended up getting a writing gig on this show. If you know his previous stuff, you'll be able to see why his writing and humour style meshes so well with John Oliver's.
@@katherinemclean1448 I loved how Dan O'Brien meshed with the others on "Cracked After Hours" series. I like John Oliver's schtick here, but I think it would be fun to see Oliver's opinions bouncing off those of another comedian. The regular John Oliver segments are usually so persuasive became he's doing fact-oriented exposés, and it wouldn't make sense to debate his points. John Oliver has made a brand out of reliably telling the well-researched truth. But with pop culture reviews, it would make more sense to argue the points, since his points are somewhat more subjective. So it could work with a discussion in the style of Dan O'Brien's style on Cracked After Hours.
I remember screaming "apple" at my book for several chapters when the characters all seemed puzzled. I couldn't figure out how a "Harvard symbologist" couldn't figure it out. THANK YOU, John!
Feeding into John's ranting and the harsh emotions he feels for it. I was about 10 - 11 when the movie came out and I saw it with my mom and my mom was stunned and impressed that I had been able to figure it out ahead of the actual characters without ever having read the book.
i read a big illustrated edition of this book when i was 13 so i could hide behind it and wouldn't have to talk to my classmates on a long bus ride. being 13 (and stupid) is the only reason i thought it was good, and hiding from bullies is the only reason i still have fond memories of it
In the spanish version of the book, the answer is "Pomus" which means fruit in latin since apple was an english word and could not be used, pomus being a latin word is kind of harder to figure it out, so imagine my surprise when i found out that apple was the answer in the english version...
Well, in France, it's the word "pomme", which fit the 5 letters things. So, it makes it indeed stupid for French people. But I remember feeling myself quite proud when I found the solution of the puzzle before it was revealed in the book. But then I was only 10 years old.
"Pomus" is more often translated to "fruit tree". Since Newton spend so much time chilling under a tree, watching the apples fall, it makes even more sense than just the word "apple". Stupid riddle, still.
Did they change the fact that Sophie's grandfather, who made the box, always spoke in English? That was a not insignificant point made in the beginning of the book. All the riddles and all the answers, from a Frenchman, were written in English.
can't lie, as a young person that wasn't alive when the da Vinci code was published, I am absolutely enthralled by John simply telling me to "die." I will get right on it sir
It literally distracted me from the fact that the plane I was on was having landing gear failure. So bad, it was good. I liked it and hated myself for liking it, just like Twilight a few years later, and maybe certain cheap bottles of wine. Cheers! 🤣
I read it on a bus to Atlantic City when I was 19 on an extended family girls gambling trip with Aunts and cousins. It was awful but I was bored and I didn't own a cell phone. Had to borrow a friend's ID just in case, but mainly I spent the whole time worried about hitting it big on slots because of the paperwork, so every time I won a little I stopped playing. All that stress and the only person who asked for my ID the entire time was on the way into a comedy show.
I like to imagine that he’s made every single staff member on this show sit through this rant until eventually they collectively said “fuck it, just let him put it on the internet and be done with it”
Hahahaha! I still rant about this shit book, so I think this is exactly what has happened 😂
Just think of the poor corperate lawyers who had to reread The Da Vinci Code to make sure nothing he said was wrong enough to warrent another lawsuit... They are the real victims here!
Next web exclusive : Dan Gurewitch monologuing about how dogecoins are still totally cool you guys.
after 18 years of persistent nagging they finally gave in
To be honest if you think to hard about any movie it can be completely destroyed, not saying some are not worse then others but when I go to watch a movie I generally try to turn my brain off and enjoy the movie as is, that is just me and then later I watch the pitch meeting and cinemasins tear the movie a new one lol.
John Oliver should make a UA-cam channel just to give overviews on books or movies. This stuff is amazing.
YEEEEESSSSS!
Maybe have Stephen Colbert as special guest for the LoTR episode
I'd watch.
IKR!!!
need him to review succession so bad
The worst thing about TDC was that in the years after its release, each and every documentary about anything mystical or secret in history had the word "code" in it.
One has to wonder if The History Channel might not have spiraled into utter idiocy quite as quickly had this book not existed
@@Magmafrost13 It would explain so much.
@@Magmafrost13 No they probably would have the History Channel was well on its way to insanity even before this they were well into the secret Nazi conspiracy stuff which is a straight line to Ancient Aliens.
It is just like after Watergate, any kind of government "scandal" has to have -gate added onto it. Monica-gate, Trump-gate, Deflate-gate and so on. It was called the Watergate scandal because it happened at the Watergate Hotel. But here is a wikipedia listing of scandals/conspiracies which become the -gate of the moment: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_-gate_scandals_and_controversies
@@Magmafrost13 Perhaps there's logic in your argument, a code of sorts.
I remember stealing this from my dad at 9 and ending up convinced I was a genius because i figured it out before the protagonists. So he's really not kidding when he says I child could solve it.
This establishes that John can talk about literally anything and I will absolutely listen.
Next week same time: John rant's about the distribution of area codes in the US. And I am all here for that :D
I would listen to him read the Shipping Forecast.
So, he can run for president
Me too. I'm all in.
Not me. This topic is near and dear to my heart. I hated and mocked this book when I was a teenager. He's almost stealing my thunder. I was so angry that I wanted my money back for that dumb green hardcover novel.
My dad loved this book and movie so much. That part of the video where John went "My dad told me this book was good" was too spot on.
I liked the books a lot... in middle school. Lol
It's 100% in the "Movies You Watch With Your Dad" genre. Other notable examples include The Mummy, National Treasure, Ocean's 11, Mission Impossible, and Indiana Jones.
And the book is in a genre I like to call "books to read on a plane because it was for sale at the airport."
hehe, both my parents told me the book was amazing and I needed to read it... I do not know.. lol.. compared to what I was reading at the time it was a nice short read, sometimes that is great, I just did not like it much, seemed like it was written by a child ?.. hehehehe... sigh.. I did not mind it that much... I had no real thoughts about it whatsoever, it passed the time for a day I guess :D ... lol.. when the film came out, sigh.. I was working nonstop and people were still ranting about divinci code, got dragged to the cinema by my boss to watch it on what I guess was meant to be a double date.. hehehe.. I had a gf and the girl was cool, but I was so exhausted, barely spoke throughout the whole night, thinking and worried about my work hehehe... then all went to a bar later and everyone trying to find meanings in the film and the plot etc hehehe... remember them asking me about it, why I was so silent.. lol.. said emm, think I prefered the book, but that is not saying much... lol.. hehehe.. emmm.. none of them had thought to ask me before going to see it if I had bothered to read the book, lol.. it never occurred to me to mention it, assumed the whole world had for years... lol, were all shocked when they found out.. sigh... honestly I had been working and thinking and whatever for months without sleep hehe.. and still had a lot more work to do before dealines.. why would I care about the silly film ? :)
edit: I had a gf that was not the beautiful girl he tried to set me up with hehehe.. lol.. people never think to ask me sometimes about even simple things like that.. lol.... the books and films I think that people love is because they let you turn your brain off, I do not hate them or get mad about them, have no feelings atall hehehe.. not everything has to be an impossible puzzle that only autistic idiots like me can solve :)
@@spookymunky1 Were you an accountant or auditor at that time? (I was an auditor for a large corp. Sometimes work deadline-fears crept into when we were supposed to be having fun after work.)
My dad never said anything about that book.
"You let yourself down. I'm doing fine." Love that comment.
"My dad told me this book is good, everybody's dad did" made me laugh extra hard, because my dad is a historian and he hates this book with a burning passion 😂😂😂. He's not the only one in my family to hate it: my sister tried to read it when it came out, she was 16. She got halfway and threw it aside, with the exasperated comment "This is the stupidest thing ever". 😆
I feel the same about Twilight
- different genre but equally stupid... Vampires are killers and don't f-ing glitter in sunlight! (But my sister loves it! Ugh)
If you REALLY want to piss your dad off, get him to read "Holy Blood, Holy Grail," the (for lack of a better term) source material from which Brown worked.
@@fanmagicks "If it glitters...stake it."
I bought this book for my best friend's husband and read it the night before I gave it to him. Weeks later he was telling me how much he loved it, while we were seated at a table with a group of his friends. I preceded to tell him how simplistic the writing was, that the characterization were just sketches of people and reading it felt like some sort of torture, for it holds your attention just enough and that you hate yourself for continuing to turn the pages. He was pretty pissed that I embarrassed him in front of his friends and I apologized. But, in my defense, that book is terrible.
“If you’re too young to remember what the world was like when the da vinci code came out… first of all, die.”
This line goes harder than anything else John has ever said.
Thats just John cutting to the heart of Gen Z Humor
ua-cam.com/video/QW9FUAMsgT4/v-deo.html ⬇️⬇️⬇️
🤣🤣🤣 I laughed so hard at this then started cackling as John lost his shit with the riddle.
I almost peed myself
@BIBLEDEFENDER144 - *Why are you spamming this innocent comment section? Why can't you just TYPE what you want to say?*
I genuinely need a whole series of John ranting about movies that frustrate him.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Oh if he got this detailed on a movie I liked I'd cry and laugh, I'd craugh. Okay fk it yeah I'd love a series of that too :P
CinemaSins crossover? I want them to obliterate "The Fast and Furious" franchise.
I see the exact same comment 2 comments down made 3 hours before you dude
I miss him on “The Bugle,” where he did just that.
"If you're sensing any kind of tension in their confused, tepid and sometimes irritated responses, you're right."
Love your banter John.
His reaction after Tom Hanks spelled out Apple 😂I actually started cry laughing
Same! 😂🤣
No you didn't. Grow up
As an art historian who has a personal grudge against the Da Vinci code, THANK YOU FOR THIS.
You may already know about this, but I highly recommend checking out Tony Robinson's brilliant skewering of the "facts" behind the book. He explodes the sloppy research point by point.
ua-cam.com/video/uB5Zbr-CSFc/v-deo.html
@Historical Book may I please ask for your opinion on Angels & Demons?
I liked the book and movie simply because it completely pissed off the religious right.
@Historical Book, "genius" sounds like a bit much. Students being more interested in art history sounds nice, but as a student who got swept up in all the DaVinci Code hype, I can say for a fact that it only increased my interest in controversial topics closely related to the book, and left me with a MORE distorted view of history. It basically led to me obsessing over conspiracy theories, and that was the same impression I got from others as well.
As a bibliophile who has a personal grudge against Dan Brown's works, I too thank him.
Angels & Demon's climactic scene very nearly gave me an aneurysm. I finished it on an airplane ten minutes before landing and left it behind along with an empty snickers wrapper.
I did not expect movie reviews from John Oliver, but I am 100% here for it.
I did. Classic UA-cam slide. First you hit it big with some passion project. Then you start doing book and movie reviews because it's easier to rant about. Then you get political. And finally you start live streaming let's plays in between quasi-monthly video essays about how you taught magpies to lockpick their way out of an escape room built into a hydraulic press.
@@strifera Holy shit. I wanted to start making UA-cam videos again, but haven’t been able to come up with a branding model. Thank you for laying it out for me so clearly.
I mean I expected them a little less from Dunkey; but honestly, we all know Ryan does it best.
SAME! 🍿
I second that wholeheartedly
The fact that former Cracked writers are on the writing staff makes this all make so much more sense to me
Yes it does.
Justin Bieber knife fighting tips is the greatest article I’ve ever read.
Does this mean we may some day get a collab between Last Week Tonight and Some More News?
Thank you, John. You have vindicated all the writers who for the last two decades have been slamming our foreheads full-force against brick walls while screaming, "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
What a waste of your time. Really the guy made millions, so while you slam your head you could be writing your own creative passages. And if people like it you will make millions too.
@@talco881 It is a sad statement on humanity that the most brain-dead nonsense generates so much money.
I guess no one ever went broke treating people like morons.
I eagerly await the asteroid that humanity deserves.
It won't open the lock because the Clue-Poem was in English. And the flesh of the Apple is white, not Rosy. Fooey, humbug.
@@dreamervanroom rosy SKIN....
Sour grapes...
My friends and I got drunk before watching the movie at the theater. I fell asleep about 3/4 of the way through. I woke up when the credits were rolling, so I asked my friend what happened. He told me Tom Hanks died. That’s how I thought it ended for years.
That's fucking hilarious.
I’m sorry but I love your friend 😂
Thanks, that gave me a good chuckle!
EPIC! 😆😂
Please tell your friend he is a legend.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Calling Robert Langdon an "art throb" is the real masterpiece
Loved hearing the one audience member who caught that one!
Mere wordplay and yet..?!!
I agree with Disorganized Religion. That art throb joke got exactly 1 person laughing and I'm here for that
It's an orange!
@@DrunkJesus you're Jesus so I guess if anyone knows it's you.
Oh, thank you! I started reading this book on an airplane in 2004 because, well, everyone said it was so great. The prose reads like "See spot run." It was so bad I couldn't get past the first two chapters. A guy sitting next to me said, "What do you think?" I said, "This is so stupid, I'm giving up." He laughed and said, "I thought it was just me! Believe me, giving up now is the right thing to do. Get your life back."
For reference, National Treasure had this riddle; “The legend writ, the stain affected, the key in Silence undetected, fifty-five in iron pen, Mr. Matlack can't offend” The solution being The Declaration of Independence, and it was solved in the same scene it was introduced in!
Only John Oliver could take hostages and still get them to laugh
Stockholm syndrome lol
Underrated comment right here ladies n gentlemen.
Who do you think the audience is?
many, many comedians could do that
He just did.
Those 3 seconds of John throwing his tantrum, and what is presumably a script?, is the greatest 3 seconds of my week.
ua-cam.com/video/0wCUEtvPeq4/v-deo.html
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Amen Kellie! I savor John's hilarious unquenchable annoyances.
This, with the fact that it's Monday cracks me up even more xD
It's only monday and I already know it's true.
John Oliver... I didn't even read a full chapter. Was curious what all the hullabaloo was all about, picked up a copy, flipped around a few pages in different sections, and then put it down. Thank you, for giving me the most complete, accurate, overview of it that I've seen.
Wow, you're such an intellectual
This has the same energy as Jon Stewart's rant about deep dish pizza (or a casserole).
Fun fact: the Czech dub of the movie kept the word "apple" untranslated.
Only the voice actor misspelled it. And they kept it in. That's right, there is a version of the Da Vinci Code that has the Harvard Artthrob Robert Langdon spell out "apple" as A-P-P-E-L.
Wait, this is amazing!
APPEL is Dutch for apple.
Fun fact, in the Spanish dub of the movie they didn't use the Spanish word for apple "manzana" but the Latin "pomona", which makes sense, since Newton and other scientists wrote their research in Latin. It also somewhat excuses why people couldn't figure it out immediately, because even if you knew the term, you could be thrown off by using the wrong language. The Spanish dub made the scene way better than Dan Brown!!! Also he didn't spell it.
Yes but that's just an extra part of the puzzle. He was thinking appelle, the French for call. The book was mostly set in France, and in fact it was the fault of the French.
Boom.
You, good sir/ma'am, are my hero
I worked at a book store in 2003 when this came out. It was the bane of my existence because we could never keep enough copies in stock. When I finally saw the movie, just to see why people went so nuts about it, I was speechless with disappointment. I have been on a hate-binge over this for nearly two decades. This clip gives me the validation I so desperately needed.
You poor dear. People where I worked at a simple blue collar job, were reading that huge book in wonder 🤔. When I saw the movie....😶😝💭. What? Couldn't imagine working in a book store when that came out! 😲🤭 I'm glad you survived. Do continue with your therapy. My heart ❤ goes out to you.
I worked at a branch library when the book was published. We bought--and lost --multiple copies, and bought more to keep up with the demand. I tried to recommend some of the books that looked at--and promoted--the same conspiracies, explaining that those were fringy and entertaining. Few took the offer. Mostly, I concluded, because there wasn't any popular hype for those books, and how could a reader talk with fiends about something unpopular.
If I ever get a time machine, I'll go to tell your 2003 self to smugly eat apples while you sell the books.
The book is always better than the movie.
I was 14 when i read it just before a trip to Rome... It was the first time I was actually interested in old churches and architecture. It gave me a whole different perspective. So I liked it and got most out of it...
I watched this instead of doing work for an essay due tomorrow which is worth 2% of my degree... no regrets. Thank you John.
"I'm doing fine!" John Oliver said calmly.
Of course, he spelled it. Dan Brown's writing style, "He entered the room. The sound of the floor was loud in his ears. Across from him is a wall. He scans left to right seeing two more walls. As he enters further into the room, a wall reveals itself behind him. Quizzically he looks up. Not quite making out the dimly lit smooth surface spanning the entirety of the space. It makes sense to him now, c-e-i-l-i-n-g." Yes, the room has a floor, four walls, and a ceiling.
But that was not all. As he turned back to where he came, he spotted a part of the wall where nothing was. "That must have been where I entered from." he pondered. But could he possibly use this passageway as a means to leave the room? He took a single step towards the door. The sound of the floor was ever louder in his ears. He kept walking, as the passage grew larger with each step. d-o-o-r. He now realized that is what he was seeing. He stepped through as the emptiness seemed to pass through him, and exited the room with four walls, a floor, and a ceiling.
Up next: Robert Langdon cracks the code for which shape fits in the circular hole of Sophie Neveu’s play set.
😂🙈
I know I have read too much Dan Brown when you and King have my dying laughing with your comments and tbh it is a sin you don't have more upvotes.
He looks away, then he looks back - now he's on a horse. 🐴
We definitely need a series where John Oliver reviews popular books & movies.
Cumtown's Klangers series is a similar- albeit incredibly crude- concept.
Starting with Snowpiercer. We only saw it because my wife chooses films based on popular opinion I can only guess are generated now by algorithyms for money.
I suggest you watch CinemaSins
...released decades ago
He should do Harry Potter
5:28 I love how even *the accress* is doing a face of "Oh my god how did we not see that coming" until the next shot where she looks like she just had a revelation 🤣
To be fair, there were two Codexes, and the first one was a much weirder puzzle to solve. Which begs the question: don't you typically make things harder to break into the further in you get? You don't lock the Declaration of Independance in a high security vault then put a bike lock on the glass case holding it, would you?
And I say harder to solve, but the clue was written on the page and 12-year-old me didn't even get to that part of the page before saying "that's backwards writing" and holding it up to my bathroom mirror to read the clue.
Never read the book but by “backwards writing” you don’t refer to the one in the vid right?
@@fabriziogonzales9719 In the book, the initial Codex is actually the outer layer of two nested Codexes, the inner of which is the one with the Apple solution. The outer Codex came with a wooden plaque that had the reversed writing carved into it, likely meaning it was intended to be used as a stamp to get the message on paper. The riddle Tom Hanks says in the clip is written on a piece of paper wrapped around the inner Codex.
You were an impressively critical thinker at the age of 12, Morning Dusk. Cheers. ;)
It's very well known that Da Vinci wrote that way and you're right not a very difficult puzzle
In your second sentence, you meant to say it RAISES the question. Don't use 'begs the question' as that has a whole other meaning and makes you look like you are uneducated to those that know the difference. Besides that, it took attention away from your main point. You don't want that to happen.
Worst of all... the amount of people that believed it was non-fiction!
I remember at that time, even as just a teenager, it drove me absolutely insane!
Oh boy yeah like how is this a non fiction geez object reality for some is too hard I guess xD
Was it non-fiction?! 😯
Oh, gods. I remember getting mobbed by a bunch of church fundamentalists who went nuts protesting this movie. Me and my friends had to literally shove our tickets in thier faces to prove to them that we had in fact *not* seen DaVinci Code and were instead laughing our butts off at Beerfest.
Sanctum Peter Cottium
Deus in re unium
hippitus hoppitus Deus Domine
In suus via torreum
Lepus in re sanctum
hippitus hoppitus Reus Domine
Yeah. Truly the mermaids documentary of its time.
Having never studied at Harvard myself, I am struggling with John's mysterious and complicated riddle...
I think it is the bowler hat.
Same here.. and I don't get his constant references to that computer/phone company.
@@saw2135 Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the hat. The shape of it is very mystical, almost like it's a symbol or something.
Definitely hat.
42
I remember this book and movie being condemned by my Southern Baptist church for its blasphemy against Jesus. But most church members saw the movie anyway just to "warn" everyone else about how blasphemous it is. Solid logic 👌
"Apple. A-P-P-L-E. Apple."
"Forrest Gump, you have won the Spelling Bee!"
8:00 This brings tears to my eyes, for so long I have struggled to convince anyone the biggest problem with the da Vinci Code was its complete lack of Bowler Hats. Being the only one to comprehend this enormous plot hole, in 2011 I started to question my own sanity. Finally, validation. Thank you John, just thank you.
Someone else gets it!!!!!
not only that, but why the fuck would the code of the puzzlebox be in modern English?
I'd understand Aramaic, Greek and even Latin, but fucking modern English?
I have to correct myself, the puzzlebox was new and made by the guy that dies in the beginning, so the codeword should have been French, since a French man would NEVER use some other language EVER for anything in his life.
@@caligo7918 Clearly he intended for an American to solve it.
@@kilroy987 Clearly he intended for American genius, art-looker, and sex-haver Jonathan Langdon to solve it.
What if, instead of Amelie, the woman's name was Margaritte?
I worked at a book store when this book was still fairly new. A woman came in looking for the Da Vinci Code but before she asked where it was she went combing through the sections she thought it'd be in. Comes over to me and goes "I am looking for a book and I can't find it in the history or the biography sections." When she told me the name we just happened to be standing in the fiction section and I took her right to it saying "that's because it's in the fiction section", or something like that. She goes, "you mean Jesus didn't marry Mary of Magdalene?" and looked absolutely confused. I never read it myself but any time it's randomly brought up somehow I think of that woman.
That woman gets to live rent free in your brain lol. I've had a few experience like that. Isn't working in customer service just the best?
I'm gonna be the biggest artist on earth by the end of the year 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Mormons think he did!!! Or at least some Mormons- not sure if it’s in actual church doctrine but some for sure believe that since humans have to be married to get into the highest-tier of mormon heaven, and since Jesus is like the model of what people should be, that Jesus HAD to have been married
Not I, but a friend was leaving the NYC showing of the play based on the two first Hillary Mantel books about Sir Thomas Cromwell. A woman behind her said to a companion "I hope Mantel finishes that last book soon. I can't wait to find out what happens to Cromwell."
I work at a used book store currently....and can attest, at least half the adult population genuinely _does not know_ what the terms fiction and non-fiction mean.
I cannot begin to count how many times I've asked someone if the book they're looking for is fiction or non-fiction, only to have their confused face say one more time, "It's about baseball. And the guy finds the thing." I'm sure most people would bet on the assumption that most human adults know what fiction and non-fiction mean. But around half of us.....don't.
And that never ceases to astound me. In part because....if they don't know THAT....what DO they know? Anything??
When John says "You could've stopped watching this 10 minutes ago..." at 6:30 in I suddenly realized the nature of time is an apple.
My favourite part is earlier than that, when the Da Vinci expert and cryptologist, as well as the French cryptology expert, can't figure out that a message was written using a mirror, even though, once they figure that out, they remember that Da Vinci likes to mirror writing all the time!
I took one year of art history in school and I knew that da Vinci wrote backwards. What kind of education is Harvard giving?
I love that John Oliver has so much clout in the industry now that he can basically just say, "You know what, I have beef with this book I read twenty years ago, and I want the world to know it," and then just literally air his grievances on one of the biggest TV stations in the country. That's power you can't buy.
EDIT: Just because some people are confused, YES, I know that this is a UA-cam exclusive and that it's not technically airing on HBO, HOWEVER, he IS airing it online under the auspices of the HBO brand, which gives him far greater reach on the online space than most typical youtube channels could ever achieve.
He has to keep creative and come up with talking points. Thats part of show businesses.
Strictly speaking, this *didn't* air on HBO. This segment was straight-to-UA-cam, which anyone can do. His "clout" is represented by us, in that we're watching it. Still a lot of clout, but slightly less than you give him credit for. =)
@@samsmith1999 well... this could be on one episode and no one would bat an eye.
@@damp2269 I know. I agree. I'm just having a little fun.
@@damp2269 yea I mean he spent probably around 45 mins telling telling Adam Driver to do violent things to him over the course of a season and no one stopped him. I think you're right that a book rant wouldn't even raise our eyebrows at this point. Lol
My grandpa gave me his copy 3 days before he died. He said he really liked it and wanted me to read it. I didn't particularly care for the story but him sharing a book is a nice memory of the last time I saw my grandpa.
I think that's a lovely memory to have!
This topic is near and dear to my heart. I hated and mocked this book when I was a teenager. He's almost stealing my thunder. I was so angry that I wanted my money back for that dumb green hardcover novel. It really could have been written by a 5th grader.
This feels like a Dan O'Brien piece and I am here for it. 🥰
I know you are probably still very interested in this weird clip you wrote a random comment on a year ago. So fun-fact. Dan O'Brien is a writer on Last Week Tonight.
John Oliver- you are so brilliant. As heartbreaking or silly your topics are- you never fail to impress me and give me comfort even in the pain of some stories. Thank you so very much!
Honestly, John Oliver losing his actual shit at the pure stupidity is my everything this Monday morning
I mean when he spelt apple I almost spit out my food and I'm still shocked that was in a "serious" movie
Me too!!!
Honestly, after Covid I thought the production hit the fan. But this, at least after the first few minutes, feels lot closer to their better stuff
Same here it's 0° in buffalo NY but this makes it so much better
He's the best!!!!! hahahahahaha
It has taken me over a month to solve this, I have travelled to the catacombs of Paris, explored the frescos of Angkor Wat, delved deep into the Burial Chamber of Sneferu in the Red Pyramid, but I have finally solved it! I think it’s a Pear!
NO! NO! FIVE letters! P-E-A-R-S!!
Or pomegranate
@@shannondh83 No Billy had it, aPear ;)
Now that's funny!
How could you possibly get it wrong. It's right in front of you. The answer to the puzzle is "shirt"
During the height of covid, when I was very bored, I watched all three Da Vinci Code movies. They just get more and more bizarre, but seeing as everything from that time feels like a fever dream, it sort of fits
Please give us a Ryan George & John Oliver pitch meeting/web exclusive - two best dissectors of popular culture in media right now 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
It would be super easy, barely an inconvenience!!!
Both of them also got two first names as their full name
Who the fuck is ryan george?
God bless Tom Hanks for having the professionalism, the mental fortitude, and the iron constitution to spell out "APPLE" with a straight face.
If you got the payday he did, you might have managed it yourself.
It just goes to show how much the world loves Tom Hanks that this didn't put a negative dent in his career lol
And all this time I thought Oliver was rickrolling us, while all along it was Hanks?
I think less of him for doing that movie. I had no idea. The reason this dumb book was popular is because it romanticizes religion with some shitty exoticism and glamour. 🤮🤑🤮
@@marshwetland3808 I don't think it's about it romanticizing religion so much as it actually questioned religion on a mainstream level.
the desk wipe was fabulous, the "if you were born after 2003, die." and the threats to the audience are my favorite parts.
I thought he said "too old to remember" at first and died laughing because obv, it's dark. But I laughed even harder after I realised my mistake
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As someone born in 2002... phew
3:09, this is one of the reasons I really love John Oliver, and this show. Not only am I getting mocked by my friends who are watching things most teenagers watch, while I'm watching talk shows, the host of my favourite show tells me to straight up die because I'm young. This is the best show HBO has ever aired.
"First of all, *die"*
At that exact moment, the fire alarms in my building went off.
While half my brain is telling me to be mad for spending almost 9 minutes watching this, the other half reminds me that I'd probably watch John Oliver talk about different types of grass for a whole episode so I have no right to be mad
I would pay good money to watch John Oliver talk about anything, including types of grass. Please talk about grass.
John Green (yes the writer) actually has a podcast episode where he talks about Kentucky Blue Grass for 15 minutes and then rates it. It's surprisingly interesting. If you wanna listen, the podcast is called The Anthropocene Reviewed.
@@miriagarnet I work in chemical lawncare application and now know what I'm listening to tomorrow during work.
True!
@@catiemooney9352 ah, we just found one of the 8 people in the world who'd pay for hbo max, then
8:08 it's the tie isn't it John. The color red is symbolic of many things in society, blood,anger, violence, but most importantly at the moment passion. I think the key to this puzzle is passion look at the painting we see a cookie cutout business man to be a representation of the American people with an apple upon his face to demonstrate the reality of losing individuality as the restrictive society rips away from us the passion of life and forces us into life we did not want. That is the purpose of the dark color palette of the sky of this work as well. Mean while the red tie symbolizes the cruelest part of modern life that you can pursue your passions as long as they are financial capable of supporting you as a job. Because if they can't you'll have to *grow up* and become something you hate.
I think I understand John I truly think I do.......
Or it's an apple.
I think John Oliver is envious of Dan Brown, because he clearly pointed to the color green, which is the color of envy. Seeing green with envy. See, now I'll have to go to the Smithsonian to find a green art piece to find the next clue to this puzzle that'll eventually lead me to an ad banner for HBO Go.
And this is how you get an A in art school
no it's the missing umbrella... it's always the umbrella with the brits
Of course it’s the tie. You don’t have to state the obvious.
Damn beat me to it
I am so grateful that somebody famous finally said this.
Said what?
He cowardly stopped half ways. Yes, the book is full of easy riddles. Apple. The mirror writing. etc.
On purpose. Average people are dumb. Reading the book, solving the easy riddles bore the protagonists made the readers feel smart. And that's it. That sold the book to millions of dumb people.
But John didn't want to lose his crowd, so didn't get to the deduction.
I teach an art history survey at a university and I have to grapple with this damn book every year because people believe stupid things because of it
“Art history survey”………that’s a thing ? Sheesh !
I'm so sorry you have to gr-A-P-P-L-E wiith that 😔
People believing in stupid shit is pretty much standard, most of the world population believe in some kind of a god
@@em-ansley nice!
Yes, I love how some people seem to think Divinci was at the last supper taking a picture. Like a Monty Python sketch
I'm down for a weekly "Overrated popculture phenomenons with John Oliver"
I would pay to watch that series, seriously
I would watch the shit out of that show!
He has Daniel O'Brien on staff, who is essentially a walking pop culture encyclopedia, so it's doable.
Ooh, do 'The Celestine Prophecy' next!
up next: marvel films.
I read the book when I was 12 and at the time, I really enjoyed it. Now I realize how ridiculous and contrived it was. It deserves to be classified as a young-adult fiction book
But it teaches some attitudes about the passivity and gullibility of women and the predatory nature of older men. The CHristians probably dont like the sex part -- by robert or Jesus. I had that thought too. I decided to play the opposer in this comment to tout the con arguments.
writing of the show is in itself excellent and hilarious, but john oliver's way of delivering the lines makes it a whole lot funnier :D
The best part of John's rant is him angrily sweeping the papers on the desk! 😅
That needs to be a meme ASAP
It's like he was going to go full Lewis Black for a minute there.
The look on his face
Woah spoiler alert ⚠️ 📢
I dream of becoming so successful that I can literally just go on camera, bitch about whatever I feel like and people will give me money.
On a side note I love when John tantrums like a muppet. Just swinging his arm back and forth, yelling, knocking stuff off his desk. Totally reminds me of a muppet.
The really sad thing about the Apple riddle is that it actually really is a very difficult riddle by Dan Brown’s standards. Another of his books had the entire conflict hinge on no one at the NSA being able to work out that the difference between 235 and 238 is three.
God I wish I was joking.
Yeah, it's on the level of that one puzzle from National Treasure where the computer can't figure out that the password is Valley Forge because it has two Ls and two Es. Oh! but Nicholas Cage can!
Which book was this?
@@lisamarie5937 Digital Fortress
@@Jarakin Such a shockingly bad book. And then Deception Point had the exact same plot: "specialist" "discovers" "unique information" that "solves/proves the puzzle", while surviving attacks from "professional assassins" while screwing the "young, female sidekick".
His writing is cack.
I confess that I enjoyed reading the DC when it first came out, though it did nothing to turn my world inside out. But then I tried reading another novel by Dan Brown and gave up … it was downhill from the somewhat entertaining mole hill of the first book.
After watching this every day for last year, I think I've figured it out.
Oranges!
3:08 haven't laughed at a John Oliver joke in years, but this one caught me off guard in the best way possible
I agree with his sediment wishing death to the generation that missed the Da Vinchi Code craze
The rant we never knew we needed
I bet John was going off on this book backstage at the Daily Show, and now hefinally got to air his grievances publicly
Aww...yes 💯 He had to be and it was probably hilarious ❣️❣️❣️🤣🤣🤣 High five friend🥰🥰🥰
I bet John has a LOT of grievances he needs to air …?
The fact that John had truly been holding that in for nearly 20 years. Hilarious LOL
I have $10 on he only just watched it before that was taped.
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so have i, i will never forgive the world for not collectively dogpiling on this shitstain of a book series
@@resikchanel843 is there a reference here I don't get?
Johns tantrum after the playing the inane movie scene is absolutely the perfect response. We are kindred souls Mr. Oliver.
My dad actually didn't tell me this book was good. He told me "the Pope said people shouldn't read this book. So of course everyone read the book."
After nearly 20 years, the airing of this shared grievance is the catharsis I had hoped for this new year. Thank you John, for speaking the truth.
Okay...now I want a full series of John just reviewing different media, books, movies, tv shows, that he absolutely hated. I need this more than I can say.
Yeah! A bitter version of Ebert and Roeper except it's just him sitting in the balcony yelling. With occasional guest reviewers played by members of the Impractical Jokers.
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Yessss
Now do Baby Driver!
And it should be HBO shows to boot, just to piss off business daddy!
It’s literally a painting of a guy holding an apple with his teeth, while simultaneously trying to pronounce the word “apple”.
I remember reading Angels & Demons (the first in the Langdon series, actually) and thinking it was pretty good, even if it had some over the top unintentionally silly things happening as well... but then I read The DaVinci Code, which was for some reason a MUCH BIGGER DEAL than its predecessor. And I say for some reason because it was essentially the same book, and yet somehow not as good. The first book was kind of fun but I remember being annoyed at the second book. Then I read the last book (I guess it was Inferno?? I've nearly wiped it from my memory at this point) which was everything bad about the first two books amplified by a thousand. Chapters that were only a few sentences long? Yes. A government lab that was so secretive the lead scientist had to walk through it in complete darkness? Yeah. The main character dying and then coming back to life? Pretty sure I didn't misremember that. It was bad bad bad bad bad. Then they announced the movies and I was like "Nah, I'm good," but somehow ended up seeing them because I visited the wrong people at the wrong time. I'm glad we can take a break from 2022 sucking to look back in time to remember why my college years sucked.
Yeah, after TDC they get worse and completely forgettable. I literally forgot about "Inferno" (couldn't even remember the book's title), and the one called "The Last Symbol" was atrocious too. Apparently there's been another book as well, but the decreasing quality, along with the cliche style means I wouldn't bother reading it.
Me the opposite order. I now think that the first book is ok because it is new. After that, it's like a second dinner.
You have made me so glad I skipped #3. Happy holidays, 2023.
What I like about The Da Vinci Code is that if you hate it, you could easily read Umberto Eco's "Foucault's Pendulum", which is basically the same plot but written by someone who knows what he's talking about.
Thank you! Pretty sure I saw that book around my house for years. Maybe it's time I looked into it.
THANK YOU. I've long described this book to people (perhaps insufferably so) as "Thinking man's Da Vinci Code." Written by someone who knows what they're talking about, yet simultaneously doesn't take itself nearly as seriously.
@@marks6051 Foucault's Pendulum doesn't take itself seriously? I don't know, Umberto Eco seems like just about one of the most pretentious writers around.
@@noahkidd3359 Haha well, I can't disagree with that even though I do like him. I guess I meant because the book treats conspiracy theories with a bit more satire than Brown. I mean, at one point we're not sure if the documents are a religious plot spanning generations or just someone's grocery list.
I liked the name of the rose but skipped over all the religious bs that the problem with these intellectuals they like to hear themselves talk to much
I've always had a different problem with the book. So the problem with the cryptex is that there's a bottle of vinegar inside and if you force it open then the vinegar would corrupt the papyrus, but, like, couldn't you freeze the vinegar? It's not even that hard, the freezing point of vinegar is -2°C (28F)
Shame there were no renowned chemists in the book
The solution all along: freezer + hammer
@@vaerix0 Even easier for a physicist. The bottle of Vinegar is both broken and unbroken before you open the cryptex. Basically, DaVinci's Cryptex is like Schrödingers Cat. Simply crack open the cryptex where the bottle is unbroken. You're welcome.
If it was frozen might the bottle break from the expansion? If there is a cork might it be forced open?
You could also just use a drill or file to shave off the side of the crytex in a way that won’t break the bottle if the bottle is strong enough to survive you putting in the code it can definitely survive filing
My solution stabilise the cryptic with clamps and then use an industrial sander to sand off the top
I have never liked a John Oliver video. I do not subscribe to his channel. Yet, his videos keep appearing on my feed… and I cannot stop watching. What have you done to me John?
My teacher in the 7th grade kept talking about it throughout the school year. I wrote a book report based only on what she said and she loved it.
as someone who often makes Dungeons and dragons puzzles, never underestimate how basic a puzzle needs to be.
Yeah....... you're not wrong.
3.5 hours and the answer was "None"
Worst part?
I was a Player not the DM
that feeling when the game grinds to a halt and the only way out is to tell the players the answer
For the players to solve on the spot in what is basically a free form improve setting. Movies are scriped dramas, the puzzle can be fiendishly complicated or even impossible as long as you make the audience believe the character is smart enough to solve it that's all you need.
But this worse, if the guy knew some actual history it wouldn't have worked. there never was a apple and Newton never incurred the wrath of the church.
@@chriswoo2289 I feel your pain. My group once got stuck in a room slowly filling with poison gas for two hours of real time while we tried to figure out a puzzle that we thought would let us escape when we solved it.
It turned out the door was unlocked.
You, John and your team, have dissolved years of my father telling me “these books are good” before I actually read them, and I fucking thank you
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My daughter said they were good - she was wrong! 😎
I've read all of them (Dan Browns books that is) and totally get Johns criticism. They are, nonetheless, highly entertaining imo. Perfect for a vacation.
The tragedy of his books is, that they start out absolutely amazing and engaging. You feel some incredible mystery unfolding, you have main protagonists who can't use force to stop the evil nemesis and have to outsmart or outrun them. The feel of urgency - all of that. And then, just when you, the reader feel to have unsolved the riddle, like in a good ol' Sherlock Holmes story - the author pulls the rug under you with a 'Lolz no - regardless of what you figured out, you're wrong. The baddie is someone barely mentioned or was glossed over or portrayed as the good one with not a single shred of clue for you and he did it because he's fuckin' crazy! HA! Didn't think of that smarty pants?' The endings are rushed and insulting. Which hit's doubly hard, because the rest of the story IS really good.
@@uefets they're based on the literally works of Pierre Plantard who initiated a failed attempt at creating a Neo Chivalric Order called The Priory of Sion in 1956....read up on it, it's a super crazy and interesting story especially given that many people believed that Dan Brown was revealing these deep conspiracies through his books back when they were popular...then you find out it was all based on a French hoax from the 1950s
i worked in a book store when this book came out and stayed on the bestseller lists for so long that people would angrily buy the hardcover since there was no paperback in sight at the time lmao
"You could have stopped watching 10 minutes ago." He says 6 and a half minutes into the video. 🤣
It's called editing. 🤣
Here's what my agent said to me back when this novel came out: "Most literary agents will agree that Dan Brown is not a good writer... but *ALL* agents are looking for the next Dan Brown."
"We need to find someone willing to write a book that's exactly stupid enough so the average person will feel a little smart."
@@googiegress7459 That's exactly it. Nobody wants a book where the central puzzle is so difficult that nobody has a chance to work it out. That just makes the readers feel dumb and they might not buy the next book. The average person isn't that smart, so it has to be pretty blatant.
and then they found him when Ready Player One was published?
@@aceshighdueceslow Admittedly that ones popularity stemmed from nostalgia as much as anything else... probably the only thing that kept me reading was that the first clue was a D&D adventure.
@@aceshighdueceslow Oh, please do read Ready Player Two (a stupid name, for starter). It's shockingly awful and its protagonist shockingly creepy. There should be free online copies.
Ah, the classic Dan Brown writing technique: end every chapter in a cliffhanger, build on the premise of a conspiracy theory, the trusted father figure is always the villain, and the sidekick ally is a pretty woman that the author’s self-insert main character will doing in the last chapter and then forget about in the next book.
A cliffhanger with the solution foreshadowed 3 chapters earlier...
@@metheus108 …with at least half a dozen pointless references to a Mickey Mouse watch.
Scientific progress goes doing
I came to say the same thing. Every single book he writes is basically the same. Started with Digital Fortress. The bad guy is someone trusted that you find out betrays you halfway into the book.
The Sidekick bit is just clear that he took a lot of inspiration from Bond as well as Indiana Jones
You remember the movie signs? The aliens were so scary and formidable they flew right into a big ball of the one thing that can kill them lol. I never got over that
It is not you who should apologise for wasting our times , it is Dan Brown .
I was hoping this would be about how the free association-style puzzle solving presented in the book primed people to later go along with similarly bad reasoning in conspiracy theories and Qanon in particular. But this was great, and not quite as depressing
Scrolled for a minute to find someone who got it...
@@thenextprodigy815 To be fair, that started waaayyy before DaVinci Code, you can already blame X-Files for priming pop media audiences for conspiracy theories taking hold.
@@RoonMian or numerology
@@RoonMian Ah I guess you're not wrong but as little as I'm acquainted with the wretched book and its offspring, I can vouch that X-Files at least sometimes indulged in artful self parody that bordered genius, a redeeming quality I suspect is nowhere to be found in the Da Vinci mess.
I particularly recall a superb marsh monster episode that deserved a special Emmy all by itself .
Let's add how Karens probably got inspired by "The Secret"
John has reached the point of his career where his audience is literally captive
Most untreated comment here
But despite what he is saying, the on screen audience as well!
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If not captive at least very much captivated
... And he can have me. Worst he could do was spazz out and give us a proper cup of tea. HBO would give us lunch. I would go home happy with a story to tell🤣
I LOVE that at the VERY end. jon brings the picture up again to point at the apple. JUST to motion his figure as if to say 'shove it up your...'
The da vinci code is one of the few books appreciated by people who almost never read a book.
I got kicked out of a Catholic church book club and threatened with excommunication simply because I admitted I read it... I am no longer Catholic because of this book lol thank you Dan Brown 😂🤣
oh yeahhhhh the controversy, i forgot! lol this is such an eyeroll now haha
Wow, my church encouraged us to read stuff from other religions.
Okay now I don't think my catholic atheist ex gf was as bad a book critic as I did. That puts some context in to it lol
Geee... where do you live? In cousinsville, apalachia?
sure you didn't make it to the baptists
I remember the craze.... and was talking to my wife about all the buzz while we were on the Subway.. a total stranger over-heard us and said, "I'm an English teacher, and that book is a wonderful example of how NOT to write an English sentence". Very convincing... I waited for the movie.
Lol I have to agree, if a grown man spelled the word apple to me, as another grown adult, I would be furious. But the look on her face like she is still confused gets me.
My dad loves this book. He still talks about it..
I would LOVE a Last Week Tonight popular culture review series. That would be so fun to watch.
YESSSSSSSS
This!!!
If you like this, check out "obsessive popculture disorder" from the original cracked. Its host, Daniel O'brien, ended up getting a writing gig on this show. If you know his previous stuff, you'll be able to see why his writing and humour style meshes so well with John Oliver's.
@@katherinemclean1448 I loved how Dan O'Brien meshed with the others on "Cracked After Hours" series. I like John Oliver's schtick here, but I think it would be fun to see Oliver's opinions bouncing off those of another comedian.
The regular John Oliver segments are usually so persuasive became he's doing fact-oriented exposés, and it wouldn't make sense to debate his points. John Oliver has made a brand out of reliably telling the well-researched truth. But with pop culture reviews, it would make more sense to argue the points, since his points are somewhat more subjective. So it could work with a discussion in the style of Dan O'Brien's style on Cracked After Hours.
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I remember screaming "apple" at my book for several chapters when the characters all seemed puzzled. I couldn't figure out how a "Harvard symbologist" couldn't figure it out. THANK YOU, John!
Hello Karen, how’s the weather over there?
Feeding into John's ranting and the harsh emotions he feels for it. I was about 10 - 11 when the movie came out and I saw it with my mom and my mom was stunned and impressed that I had been able to figure it out ahead of the actual characters without ever having read the book.
i read a big illustrated edition of this book when i was 13 so i could hide behind it and wouldn't have to talk to my classmates on a long bus ride. being 13 (and stupid) is the only reason i thought it was good, and hiding from bullies is the only reason i still have fond memories of it
What a dopey story
In the spanish version of the book, the answer is "Pomus" which means fruit in latin since apple was an english word and could not be used, pomus being a latin word is kind of harder to figure it out, so imagine my surprise when i found out that apple was the answer in the english version...
Considering that the riddle is supposed to lead to the answer of an ancient secret, it really would've made more sense to make it a Latin word.
Well, in France, it's the word "pomme", which fit the 5 letters things. So, it makes it indeed stupid for French people. But I remember feeling myself quite proud when I found the solution of the puzzle before it was revealed in the book. But then I was only 10 years old.
"Pomus" is more often translated to "fruit tree". Since Newton spend so much time chilling under a tree, watching the apples fall, it makes even more sense than just the word "apple". Stupid riddle, still.
Technically it then means fruit in both books since apple used to be a generic word for any fruit except for berries.
Did they change the fact that Sophie's grandfather, who made the box, always spoke in English? That was a not insignificant point made in the beginning of the book. All the riddles and all the answers, from a Frenchman, were written in English.
can't lie, as a young person that wasn't alive when the da Vinci code was published, I am absolutely enthralled by John simply telling me to "die." I will get right on it sir
Trust me, John is doing you a favor
I was 17 when this came out. Now I feel old.
It will take you the rest of your life to do it but I am sure you will succeed!
Good news! I can guarantee that you won’t let him down!
Also… you weren’t ALIVE when the book came out?!? Go to bed, you’ve got exams!
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"you could of stopped watching 10 minutes ago" checks time 6:35 oh god this has been edited down! that poor audience
Thank you John, I enjoyed that.
I read the first three chapters of The Da Vinci Code in my dentist's waiting room. After that, the root canal procedure didn't seem quite so bad.
So the book saved you from pain, guess it is worthwhile then.
It literally distracted me from the fact that the plane I was on was having landing gear failure. So bad, it was good. I liked it and hated myself for liking it, just like Twilight a few years later, and maybe certain cheap bottles of wine. Cheers! 🤣
I read it on a bus to Atlantic City when I was 19 on an extended family girls gambling trip with Aunts and cousins. It was awful but I was bored and I didn't own a cell phone. Had to borrow a friend's ID just in case, but mainly I spent the whole time worried about hitting it big on slots because of the paperwork, so every time I won a little I stopped playing. All that stress and the only person who asked for my ID the entire time was on the way into a comedy show.
You must have had the shortest wait in a dentist's office in history
Excellent burn