"How Do I Deal With Dramatic People?" Histrionic Personality Disorder-Psychotherapy Crash Course

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 161

  • @TherapistTamaraHill
    @TherapistTamaraHill  5 років тому +33

    Was this video helpful to you? Please like, share, and comment 😊

  • @7101jy
    @7101jy 3 роки тому +111

    Listen, walking away from someone I considered emotionally high maintenance or histrionic was the best decision I ever made. I cannot be bothered to continue walking on eggshells around someone with a big and fragile ego. It is exhausting. Everything I did offended them or was never enough then they want to mold you into the person they want you to be including your reactions to their BS. Absolutely not me!

    • @Poemi10304
      @Poemi10304 2 роки тому +12

      That was my experience as well! High five for getting away from the drama! 🖐🏻

    • @halfpint0351
      @halfpint0351 2 роки тому +6

      My soon to be ex-wife is a histrionic. today, she basically told me that I destroyed her world. That I apparently was playing a game with her and that I won the game.

    • @Sarit473
      @Sarit473 2 роки тому +4

      I'm a diagnosed HPD. You neurotypical are exaggerating all the cluster B.
      To start with, we didn't choose to have those personality desorders. Probably if you have pass half of the trauma we did you won't judge cluster B anymore.

    • @Musettelover
      @Musettelover 2 роки тому +2

      @@Sarit473 I'm guessing there are different degrees of histrionic behaviour in people with HPD. I married one in 2018. We divorced 2021. I couldn't do it anymore. But I agree, I feel terrible hearing and reading HPD's should just be abandoned. She's my closest friend now, and I still love her to death and wouldn't want it any other way. She's been having trouble keeping jobs, so I got her employed at the company I work. We work only weekends and very long hours, there are only us two there at weekends. Yes, she often tries to give me hell, and sometimes it's really good, but never for too long as she needs the drama. But it works for me. Under her disorder I see the only woman I've ever met that I want to be close to and never leave. She has so many fantastic qualities. Our relation is strictley non sexual, and she's had relations after the breakup too. Not a problem for me. Though I'm not sure what would happen the day I hook up with someone. Time will tell. I just know I'll always be there for her.

    • @Onelove858
      @Onelove858 Рік тому +2

      @ 7101jy Well said! Absolutely. They too much to deal with. I avoid them. It’s called peaceful life.

  • @Bekindtoyou
    @Bekindtoyou Рік тому +13

    That was SO useful. Thank you! I thought that my parent had NPD, but, nope. This explains everything way, way better. A video about how living with a person with HPD while growing up affects children and how to cope with that legacy as an adult would be fantastic!

  • @Poemi10304
    @Poemi10304 2 роки тому +25

    I walked away and never spoke to them again. Years later, after I moved across the country, she sent me a package at an address she shouldn’t have had, apologizing for whatever she may have done and wanting to be friends again. Returned to sender.

  • @JKDVIPER
    @JKDVIPER 10 місяців тому +3

    So smart. Good advice. It almost came naturally. I felt physically sick at first. Then scared. Then mad. Then calm and directed. Thanks so much.

  • @sarahrose410
    @sarahrose410 3 роки тому +9

    I was parented by a histrionic, but I find most resources and information are geared toward their partners and not their children. If anyone knows of some, point them my way! Helpful video.

  • @Spiral.Dynamics
    @Spiral.Dynamics 9 місяців тому +3

    Not to self:
    Do not get sucked in.
    (Thank you!)

  • @Journeyoflove13
    @Journeyoflove13 3 роки тому +16

    Thank you! Omg I know people with this behaviour and it is ex-haus-ting. It takes sucking you dry to a whole other level. Again, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, Tamara! 🙏🏻❤

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  3 роки тому +2

      Yes! Absolutely! Its does. I've seen my fair share and in order to stay afloat, you almost have to "shut them out" until you can regain your calm foundation.
      And thank you! Glad this was helpful!☺

  • @jasonblue9297
    @jasonblue9297 2 роки тому +9

    I completely understand what it is you are saying with regards to manipulation. With HPD as I understand, the person may have a tendency to display themselves as vulnerable.
    I had a person tell me that they were going to attempt suicide unless I’d contacted them. They overdosed in front of me, and then afterwards they’d told me it was because they wanted to know that I cared about them.
    If I’d told you the hell they’d put me through afterwards, you’d be a little unsettled.

  • @ShyDog827
    @ShyDog827 2 роки тому +14

    I’m just learning about this disorder and I think I handled my particular situation perfectly👍 I work with a histrionic coworker who loves playing the victim so that I can do her dirty work. Everyday she’s going on about the “attacks” at work . But like you said , I’m aware of who she is and I keep my wall up. This is all pretty new to me, because until recently , I didn’t even know “ triangulate” was a thing.

    • @Sreejita31
      @Sreejita31 Рік тому

      I had a HPD coworker as well and before anyone else says how I am being a neurotypical ableist, I am neurodivergent myself. This person referred to me as "abnormal" when I did mention the diagnoses which makes me neurodivergent. They see themselves as perfect while manufacturing exhausting dramas all around, and the vanity and self-obsession is frankly repulsive. Good for you too that you handled it well.

  • @HappyCauliflower
    @HappyCauliflower Рік тому +6

    Oh my God, you described my husband. He was hiding it so good. And now a drama after drama, guilttripping etc. I don't know how to deal with all that, so exhausting!

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  Рік тому +1

      I know it's exhausting. You're doing the right thing by becoming knowledgeable about this.

    • @Mbaliez18
      @Mbaliez18 10 місяців тому

      Perhaps walking away would be best. My cousin is like this and ever since I've completely walked away and gave her no energy, my life is amazing and I feel a sense of freedom because sometimes we could be enabling their behavior by feeling like we need to be their "caregiver". Good luck😊

  • @Legal_Sweetie333
    @Legal_Sweetie333 3 роки тому +10

    I'm an introvert... It is so astonishing

  • @rosewood67
    @rosewood67 3 роки тому +9

    Thank you so much for this, just hearing you say how difficult it is to deal with this personality disorder took a weight off my shoulders. A friend since childhood has this and it's literally awful to deal with.

  • @psychoanalyst6364
    @psychoanalyst6364 11 місяців тому +3

    Nailed it ! Thank you for helping me figure out what was going on with a friend of mine. The friendship finally reached a point where I had to walk away. I couldn’t figure out why this particular friend was so exhausting to be with. Over the top attention seeking and manipulative to the point where she made you feel like you were the problem when you confronted her. So glad I can finally identify what the personality issues were and move on without guilt since she claimed I threw our friendship in the dumpster. Interesting how they make stuff up that didn’t happen but wholeheartedly believe it did. Your video was very informative and helpful and will undoubtedly help those feeling trapped by this type of person.

  • @PinkYellowGreen2023
    @PinkYellowGreen2023 3 роки тому +13

    Thanks for posting this video as well. The personality type that makes a big deal out of everything is interesting. I’m glad there is a name to attached to it

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  3 роки тому +1

      My pleasure!
      Yes, I think a lot of people experience people like this.

  • @EnergyreaderempathMary
    @EnergyreaderempathMary 10 місяців тому +2

    My mother has this disorder and it’s exhausting when I go visit her because she overreacts to everything even the commercials on TV and I feel exhausted by the end of the day.

  • @truth4utoda
    @truth4utoda 5 років тому +15

    This was a great topic! Thanks for covering it. I don't hear much about it either. Sad reality because I know so many with these traits.

  • @richardpaggi9988
    @richardpaggi9988 3 роки тому +7

    Thank you for this, dramatic people are so so so tiring!! I'm with you on Just Walk Away!!! Again, thank you!!!

  • @irme8930
    @irme8930 9 місяців тому +2

    Histrionic person humiliated me once in front of a common friend, but I forgave them. Worst mistake, cause they did it again. They won't have a 3rd opportunity. It's NC for me from now on.

  • @jooliagoolia9959
    @jooliagoolia9959 Рік тому +5

    They also make almost all situations sexual, even when highly inappropriate.

  • @neenaj365
    @neenaj365 Місяць тому +1

    It’s the entitlement and narcissism for me. I just can’t, sorry. I’ve had to walk away, best decision ever.

  • @PiaLoveBSNRNCCBTP
    @PiaLoveBSNRNCCBTP Місяць тому +1

    Im too old for drama, praise God. Thanks for sharing.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  Місяць тому

      😂So true. Me too! Those who miss that their drama is a reflection of their maturity level often need a lot of social and emotional help.

  • @RecklessInspirer
    @RecklessInspirer Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for this information! I’m almost positive that my coworker has HPD. It’s very draining to be in her presence sometimes.

  • @TLDAVIS1951
    @TLDAVIS1951 5 років тому +20

    This sounds so much alike the the narcissistic personality I have been having problems with. Whenever I call this person out for the way she treats me she gets excessively loud and tries to make me the villain. I really don't want this person in my life but she just will not leave me alone. I guess it is too much to expect a predator to give up its prey.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 років тому +3

      Thanks for watching Thomas! You are right. The "victim" is like prey in some cases and what makes this personality type worse is psychosis and/or trauma.

    • @jtFacts77
      @jtFacts77 5 років тому +5

      I am not understanding something Thomas. You claim you don't want this person in your life, but you also seem like you"re helpless to do anything about her predatory behavior. Why? Is she your wife? Relative of some sort? Why can't you just get rid of her?

    • @attheranch4876
      @attheranch4876 2 роки тому

      Can you go “gray rock“?

  • @dape6394
    @dape6394 Рік тому +3

    My boyfriend probably suffers from this disorder. Since a decade now I am suffering being with him, always thought it’s also me, but doesn’t matter what I changed, it never got better … now we have a diagnosis - personality disorder - and this one sound veeery much like him ! I even got sick myself over all this years 😢 mentally and after such a long time as well physically .. Still I have doubts throwing such a long relationship away but hearing that’s basically ‘incurable’ is crushing me ..

    • @whitneyanders5945
      @whitneyanders5945 Рік тому +2

      Run as far as you can and don’t look back. In the short term, It will possibly be the hardest thing you have ever had to do but long term you will not regret escaping.

  • @Hojotoho.Yall504
    @Hojotoho.Yall504 4 роки тому +18

    I know someone like this. You’d swear he lives in an infomercial.

  • @jtFacts77
    @jtFacts77 5 років тому +11

    I want to preface this by saying 99% of the videos you put out I agree with. I mostly agree with you on this one, but I want to take a slightly opposing view. Something you didn't touch on in this video is the attraction of dramatic people. There is a reason why reality shows are so popular. Many times, hanging out with a dramatic person gives one an escape from a regular boring, mundane life. Most people experience life in the following manner: Wake up, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat - boring. Dramatic people tend to be spontaneous and they relieve some of the monotony of every day life. A dramatic person, in moderation, can be a benefit to people lives. It's the dramatic person you call to go to the club. It's the dramatic person you take on vacation, to get your groove back (they are good at meeting people) :)

    • @sfletch3042
      @sfletch3042 4 роки тому +10

      A personality disordered person is not the same thing as a dramatic person. People can have some traits of disorders without meeting all the diagnostic criteria. The difference between a disorder and the mere possession of characteristics must be recognized.

    • @ItsAllBeenDecided
      @ItsAllBeenDecided 3 роки тому +4

      That is true. However, they are impossible to live with.

  • @M-gd6ow
    @M-gd6ow 10 місяців тому +2

    This is SO amazingly helpful!!! I wish I had watched this before confronting my histrionic exfriend 😂you’re amazing!!!!!!!!!

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  10 місяців тому +1

      I'm so glad! And thank you❤
      I'm sure you did just fine. Sometimes there is no right or wrong way to approach these individuals, sadly.

  • @SetTheFallen
    @SetTheFallen 2 роки тому +5

    My sister is like this. She has tried to murder me, you heard right.... I am wondering how to handle someone like this when you got a personality dissorder yourself? I am schizotypical personality dissorder. She gets extremly angry and violent, and verbally abusive when I ignore her. Its taken a while to get my father to see it, I think he is finally realizing how much shit she does. But its really hard because I am "weird" because of my personality dissorder myself. She spreads rumors and all sorta shit, been abusive since I was born. She likely been making my own personality dissorder much harder to deal with, she keeps gaslighting and all. The small connections I keep, like meeting during holidays.. is there a way to make it easier?

  • @phirelily2818
    @phirelily2818 2 роки тому +2

    Yo, but like....when it's a parent. I've been doing a bunch of these tactics for "dealing" my whole damn life aside from aserting my own boundaries (Which is a new development now that is a WIP), but it doesn't feel like dealing, it feels like strategizing to avoid stepping on a landmine, and I dont wanna play this friggen game of explosive twister anymore! As you stated, it's exhausting. I haven't been home in 3 years (thanks covid) and in the two months now just leading up to going back to visit, the situation has me stressed on all kinds of levels and is kicking me down in ways I haven't had to deal with these past years (it takes a physical toll on my health). I now have a wonderfully clear, in an unpleasant sort of way, explanation for why I was always tired an sick as a kid, but man how do you go into that setting and not let it errode you. I can bolster myself all I want, but 23+ years of near constant conditioning in this enviroment ontop of other unhealthy psych dealies, it just doesn't feel like enough. Time and practice blah blah blah, but time waits for no one. :'D
    (Predicted first response to this comment: talk to a therapist XD)

  • @hannahl.9614
    @hannahl.9614 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much for this informative, concise, and empathetic approach! It was very validating to my experiences with some people in my life. These suggestions for right to the point and are helpful. I am looking forward to utilizing these tactics to empower myself and keep my peace (self care!)

  • @Homoclite
    @Homoclite 2 роки тому +5

    I’ve found this pervasive within a certain group of people whose name I won’t mention because I don’t want a whole bunch of labeling as some type of “-phobic” individual and so on and so forth. I’ve had personal conversations with people who had once aligned themselves with these folks and gave me “the real” on why they themselves and others behave as they do. One of such person is an actual therapist who deal with these people…yet in many ways encourages the behaviors. The term histrionic personality disorder is something that I found the clinical terminology for perhaps 2 decades of wondering what it was that I was looking at and falling prey to. Thank you for this video! I really hope that more people are taking note. 🌹

  • @rabsaque
    @rabsaque 4 роки тому +3

    I was speaking to my ex wife yesterday, she just came to me out of nowhere after me trying to tell her to begin to meditate and think more when she asked me for help to overcome some sadness she is having about our child, she just came for no reason to tell me oh is sooo sad our son was conceived without love and that love doesn't exist its sooo sad im crying and i was like *"did you hear anything of what i been telling you the las 3 days?"* i stood for an hour trying to explain to her our son is not an error is not a mistake that he is a human being an opportunity for us to try to correct what went wrong on our own lifes an life who need guidance and so, and all she could say was "poor kid he is just one more of the pole isn't it?" then i ralized she was trying to suck me up into her drama and hung up the phone, rigth away i got an message telling me how a piece of s*** i am and soo and soo im starting to think she has this Histrionic Personality Disorder thing.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +2

      Wow. I'm sorry to hear this. It is obvious that the communication between the two of you is rather tough and that she knows how to pull you in. It sounds like there may be more going on here than just a dramatic personality. She could have borderline personality traits or has learned to "survive" in her life or in her environment by creating drama. Either way, no one wants it.

    • @rabsaque
      @rabsaque 4 роки тому

      @@TherapistTamaraHill Well i have learned to defend myself from her since we divorced i was psychologically abused by her to the point of trying to take my own life, some time has passed since that and i have learned to read her ways, i used to love her i mean we married b i think tha's and our child are the reasons i still speak and try to have a nice relationship with her but with limits most of the time she just wants to fight and when im not available for either that or continue to being abused by her she goes for the im soo sad part, sometimes the way she speaks about the life or about our extinct relationship is like something from an soap opera like super dramatic as if you were looking at things through the eyes of a teenager like our last conversation she told me *"So love doesn't exist i wish i kew it sooner"* and i was listening like *"woman you are 33 Yso we have a baby please get back to earth"* and she always tries to play that feelings card but that don't work on me, at least not anymore.
      sorry for the long response

  • @JustEye_La
    @JustEye_La 3 роки тому +4

    Thank-you for these tips.
    How do we protect children in divorce situations?
    The biological mom continues to break their hearts 😥

  • @oooodaxteroooo
    @oooodaxteroooo Рік тому

    this whole business about "confronting wisely" has a lot of potential. can you make a video dedicated to that? examples...

  • @jooliagoolia9959
    @jooliagoolia9959 Рік тому

    I've been no contact withy histrionic malignant narcissist mother for 26 years.
    It's been a lifetime of healing.
    Don't walk away, run from them yet o be kind to ourselves.

  • @HatBilly2008
    @HatBilly2008 3 роки тому +5

    NPD do they need supply just like NPD do? This video sounds like , but what do you think? Your wonderful thank you.

  • @JillDinardo-mb6ii
    @JillDinardo-mb6ii 3 місяці тому +1

    Thank you,your insight was very helpful. I work with someone like this,and I dread going to work now.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  3 місяці тому +1

      You're welcome! That's good to know.
      When you dread going to work, that is a sign that you are far over the behaviors, attitudes, etc. of this person. Creating distance may be in order.

    • @JillDinardo-mb6ii
      @JillDinardo-mb6ii 3 місяці тому

      @@TherapistTamaraHill I am trying that and it seems to be slowly working. Thank you for your kindness.

  • @johnferguson2006
    @johnferguson2006 3 роки тому +4

    I am experiencing this now and its very really hard and stressful at times. especially when it's a family member you care for and love and I live with them. At times I feel like crying because I don't want to hurt them or say something out of line.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  3 роки тому +5

      I'm sorry John. You are right. It is difficult when you are dealing with someone close who is like this. It's like you are walking on egg shells. You might like the book "I hate you, don't leave me." Although this book is about borderline personality, it can relate to family members in your shoes quite well.
      Take care

  • @MartyInTheWoods
    @MartyInTheWoods 4 роки тому +4

    Brilliant and to the point. I wish you get many more views!

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +2

      I appreciate that. I'm not really concerned about views but rather creating good content and giving my subscribers what they want. Unfortunately, if videos aren't sensationalized there are little views. I'm not in that race! 😉

    • @MartyInTheWoods
      @MartyInTheWoods 4 роки тому +1

      @@TherapistTamaraHill Yes, unfortunately.
      And you are right: it is not a race! 😆
      Even your comment section is on a very high level! Quality all round! 😊

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому

      😊 I agree! You guys are great. Love the comment section more than the content some days. Lol

  • @MehmetcanOzdag
    @MehmetcanOzdag 11 місяців тому

    One that’s me. I was traumatized when I was a little child. My father was violent. He was an alcoholic and was abusing my mom for years. Yes we’re tiring what they don’t know is we are ruined.

  • @taste-a-liciouse1397
    @taste-a-liciouse1397 3 роки тому +1

    My daughter!. Thought I was losing my mind! Thank you

  • @poppyhampson7878
    @poppyhampson7878 2 роки тому +3

    How can u walk away from family-especially when u are in business with them?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  2 роки тому

      Very good point.
      That's a tough spot to be in for sure. I don't have the answer for that but I can imagine how difficult this can be. There would need to be some very firm boundaries around the entire situation.

  • @ArieNeo
    @ArieNeo Рік тому +1

    I am on the verge of divorce and and after having a discussion with several professionals I think my wife has this disorder. I realised I have been manipulated in so many ways that ultimately affected our relationship and my self esteem. I still feel bad for her now that we have sort of concluded that she has HPD but I haven't been able to communicate this to her, don't know how to do so and avoid a negative reaction. She started therapy again (she has tried 4 different therapists, lasting 1 or 2 sessions with each), and I hope she gets some help. Any recommendations are very much appreciated.

  • @pacobadillo3220
    @pacobadillo3220 2 роки тому +2

    I really liked your video, it sat clear what I already knew.. I have strong emotions for her but it is really difficult to deal with this ... It could be something minimum with no importance and it turns in to an A5 hurricane. Do I need to walk away? And leave my emotions for her aside?

  • @DomLecTro
    @DomLecTro 3 роки тому +4

    do histrionic people compete for attention? because holy shit mostly everybody my age likes acting boujee for no reason, specially on social media. Thank u

  • @jakeroe1327
    @jakeroe1327 5 днів тому

    This describes the person I broke off contact with after 22 years of friendship because I got tired of the bs and it all started with them being incredibly rude and irate with me right from the get go, and I told her off and i was helping a mutual friend and father move from one time to another and this idiot tried to make it all about her and I made a comment about how I best not her anymore smart *ss messages on my phone or om leaving, well, she flipped out and ran to her car and sat I bit and cried,our mutual friend went out to see whatbger problem is and got worried I was going to leave, i came out and pointed to the goofball and saud "this isn't about her, its about you shd your dad, I'm here for you, im not going anywhere, if she wants to be a little crybabyy, let her, we got work to do" and then she puts her head down and cries and shakes, so we go ger the work done. So fast-forward to later that night, I decided to confront her and I have been known to have an explosive temper, I'm extremely loud, depending on the situation, I can be violent but this time.....I spoke to her in a normal yet firm tone, she started to get loud and I told her not to raise her voice at me because I'm not doing it to her, she tried to argue about that, I told her it again and told her how it was, told her I'm not here to kiss her rear end, poked holes in hee stories, it ended with her giving me this long stare then running to my friend doing her shaking and crying routine, and yes, she did try to accuse me of the behaviors she is doing, i tore that down with facts, I regret introducing her to my friends because she is now dating our mutual friends dad which I called her out on because she had been coming around acting all lovey dubby around me but talking about she is afraid of relationships and has no sex drive but if she does, oh well shee calling me because i nthe only guy she trusts and knowing I'm going through a bad separation from my wife who left me three yrs ago, her husband is also divorcing her and my friends dad just went through one, yet she'll dress in ways to get my attention, even sprayed pheramone perfume on my hand to smell it and only told me after I started feeling "funny" what it was, but didn't do anything to help the situation and i had been telling her if she is interested in me like she said if her feelings come back, as long as im single, call me, but she also thinks she has some sway over me because she's my high school sweetheart, but I find all this ridiculous and I just had enough of her ridiculous behaviors abd lying so i figured time to tell her about it, after I left, i blocked her number and on social media, and now i hear it's a drama scene, i know how she is in relationships, always ends with her being a victim and the other one is so horrible so when i thought maybe she changed since high school,nope, she akso tries blaming her being rude to me last week on a health condition she has but I don't believe that because I'm the only one she treated that way and I don't care what her problem is, im done brkng abused by narcissistis and Histrionics, my borderline personality disorder doesn't respond well to it and all the friendships with such people all end the same, them running scared and the last two got sent over the edge because of my calmness and telling them how it is and being done with it. I appreciate your information and definitely subscribing.

  • @okpandora
    @okpandora Рік тому +1

    Great strategies. Thank you.

  • @amomentsnotice
    @amomentsnotice 4 роки тому +2

    Too much whaea thanks for sharing your beautiful skills much appreciated blessings

  • @gretatheotherone4686
    @gretatheotherone4686 2 роки тому +1

    Excellent! Thank you🙏❤

  • @Giselle332
    @Giselle332 2 роки тому

    Love that colour on you. Such a happy colour. 😍 Your videos are great too. They have helped me a lot. Thank you. ❤️❤️❤️

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  2 роки тому +1

      You're welcome. Thank you so much! And I'm glad to hear this! Glad to have you on the channel. 🤗

    • @Giselle332
      @Giselle332 2 роки тому +1

      @@TherapistTamaraHill You're an intelligent, kind, caring woman. I'm glad to see that there are decent empaths out there, helping other empaths to cope. Thank you so much. Keep pleasing God and doing the right thing 🙏. He will bless you with more.
      Your experience and words of wisdom are helping those who really need this valuable advice, support and information. Thank you for understanding how important it is. Not everyone can afford professional help so thanks again. I have subscribed to your channel. God bless you. 🙏😘❤️

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  2 роки тому

      💖😭Thank you for these special words! They are certainly healing for me at some level. And I'm glad these videos are helpful to you. That's the goal! God bless you too and amen to God's blessings. Wouldn't be here without Him. 😊

  • @Daniel-m6q6v
    @Daniel-m6q6v 2 місяці тому

    Please read. Sincerely.. I would truly love your insight and or anyone's insight. Because I'm sure when it comes to dating someone with HPD we can relate on some levels and there might be some similarities. I have been dating a girl off and on in a very toxic relationship who wanted/wants me babies. We're both subjectively good looking with good physiques, both of us half hispanic/ half white, both green eyed (myself [30yr.old] always know as a pretty boy, am naturally maybe even better looking then her. She's had a nose job to alter appearance) and have never had a problem obtaining female attention. The hard thing for me to deal with is that it has really messed up my head space and psyche, because she's this tiny, petite 28 year old, 5'1 athletic build, and comes across very sweet, silly, lighthearted, bubbly, outgoing, and innocent, but then she has a very dark, obsessive, addictive personality and substance abuse issues below the surface. Mainly with alcohol, but she has made some impulsive decisions with other hardcore drugs in the past exhibiting very risky behaviors. Usually ending up with her behaviors leading to promiscuous encounters and experiences with strangers. The hard part for me, is that she is cute.. physically, her face, and her demeanor (at least comes off as such), extremely devoted to see me, obsessed with me, and comes across really loyal up front. Crazy enough I believe she truly wants to be loyal too, that's the strange part. Although with her being easy manipulated and impressionistic, along with her being "easy" (floosy, riskay, promiscuous, seductive, hyper-sexual) in the past, makes her very unpredictable, impulsive, and volatile. This makes her extemely delusional, highly disfuctional, and her life behind the scenes is in constant disarray. It has manifested in how she's held onto everything she's had as a kid in her room, barely able to see the carpet, barely being able to fit a passenger in the front see of her SUV full of useless crap, and her phone storage fully maxed out filled with junk. That all is a reflection of her mind state and how much clutter she carries, she's completely in disarray. The fact that she wears bows in her hair, acts innocent like she's a little girl but is very vain and sexually vulgar with her remarks out of the blue, wears provotic tight small clothes at times/ while struting around in them in accordance, solidifying and magnifying her appearance with her eyes (gaze) and body language to match, has had such sexual proclivities along with quite extreme infedelity (almost always 9/10 alcohol/drug induced) with her past 7 year relationship (cheated on him about 18 times) is the epitome of deception and just really messes with my head. I feel bad for the girl but at times am angered with/at her for her compulsive lies, at times dumb insignificant lies that someone doesn't need to lie about (because she is so worried about looking good in the eyes of people (probably more so worried about not looking good in their eyes. There is a slight difference. Pertaining to the lack of worth and fear of rejection.) and worried about what others perceive of her. But oddly I feel possessive too because she's made me out to be a superhero, in which still to this day I can never do wrong in her eyes, no matter what, even when I try to get a rise out of her. Which feels nice.. But I know that's not normal at all. That is a tactic that people with this disorder display and a form of desperation. They give attention, praise, and admiration in order/ with the hopes of receiving all of the same. Who doesn't want to feel desired. I've always been stand-offish from the start when we met as co-workers, mainly from her overly sexual disposition upon first impressions, that made me feel like she was slutty. In conjuction with her shallow interuptive attention seeking demeanor that I picked up on within seconds after experiencing her speak, what she speaks of and how she speaks (loudly/obnoxiously/excessively exaggerated speech most of the time) with little eye contact from her and grandious facial expressions. From almost immediately, within seconds I realized i could never see myself dating her, nor wanted to, especially long term. I never thought I'd get as serious with her as I have. Though one could get use to all the attention after so long, which is manipulative and a flaw on my character trait and says sometging aboit myself for staying around as long as I have. After seeing all the crazy neurotic behavior leaves me distraught and makes me think she may never change. I've just come to this conclusion days ago that she has HBD and haven't even brought it up to her yet for she gets one 10 min call a day because she is in rehab for alcohol addiction. In which pretty soon she'll be moving into the womens group home sober living side of the same facility (house) after the 4 week mark, currently less than a week from now. At 28 years of age, she's been in out of rehabs and sober living homes for about 10 years now. With this new bit of information and new found insight, which she has no clue is the actually issue yet, I'm hoping I can help her change for the better and be a positive non romantic friendly influence in her life that can be beacon of light for her to help her help herself find that self love. I feel like it's my obligation now. Can you or anyone relate to any of this? Is there progress being made? Is she actively doing the work to heal? Are you still together with her? Has she improved at all? Thanks for taking the time to read all this. Any and all responses would be greatly appreciated!

  • @TomekFior12
    @TomekFior12 4 роки тому +3

    I am not discovering my roommate has this disorder. Lord help me lol. This was really well described.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +1

      Thank you Fior!

    • @TomekFior12
      @TomekFior12 4 роки тому +2

      Of course. Your description really nailed it in a way that was much easier to relate to than just reading the 9 symptoms. It’s like you embodied my roommate in the perfect way. I am definitely going to be using your tips best I can to enforce my boundaries until we can transition to living apart.

    • @TomekFior12
      @TomekFior12 4 роки тому +3

      I watched quite a few videos and yours was my favorite.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому

      Thank you 😊

  • @josephinesituma2757
    @josephinesituma2757 8 місяців тому +1

    The best thing I ever did is to walk away and mind my own business

  • @ivonnemaciasBrady
    @ivonnemaciasBrady Рік тому +1

    Good informative video!

  • @blueshoes915
    @blueshoes915 4 роки тому +3

    My SIL flirts with every male she sees, including my husband. I have never said anything to her about it, I just ignore it and find it pathetic. Should I say something to her about it? I feel like that would fuel her to do it more. Am I right in just ignoring it?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +1

      This is tough but a good question. It all depends on how bad it is and how much her behaviors may be breaking down the trust in your relationship with her. You may want to consider educating her to how much you see in her and don't appreciate, especially with your husband. But this needs careful thought.

    • @kynathomas4809
      @kynathomas4809 4 роки тому

      I know someone like this and she did sleep with her sisters child's father. She said he raped her but I don't think so. He was going out of town and she invited herself to go with him. Now that's the situation is over and she has no relationship with her sister (it's been over 20 years since the incident) she saying he raped her. This is NOT the first time she says she's been raped .

    • @Hojotoho.Yall504
      @Hojotoho.Yall504 4 роки тому +6

      If you don’t speak up and set boundaries, you’re reinforcing her behavior and she’ll keep doing it. Shut that down asap.

  • @mefirst27
    @mefirst27 3 роки тому

    I come up to this topic..bcoz someone said im always dramatic but after i hear your explanation..im not..hes just not being honest to me and hes the one want manipulation and sensitive..i just said im need a litlle respect fr.him he said im dramatic😳..its too dramatic to tell what you feel😓

  • @Eve90
    @Eve90 Рік тому

    Hystrionic personality is so hard for me to deak with. Because i see the blood sucker that is sitting there and and i have no empathy for them

  • @hajjahhusnhassan2210
    @hajjahhusnhassan2210 2 роки тому +1

    D BEST OF INSIGHTS..
    TQVVM..🙊🙉🙈

  • @kj-sf4md
    @kj-sf4md 5 років тому +4

    Can histrionic personality be lerned from a parent or is it hereditary?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  5 років тому +7

      Great question k j. Yes. Personality disorders have a major genetic component and with a combination of genes and environment, personality traits can become "disordered."

    • @Sarit473
      @Sarit473 2 роки тому

      I'm a diagnosed HPD so I can answear your question. First people exaggerated the disorders. I have mild sintomps even if I was diagnosed with HPD I don't have those synthomps at the extreme. Generally speaking its genetic. My father had NPD (grandiose narcissist), with borderline and sociopath traits. Cluster B its a mix between genetics, and environment. Neurotipical always things we are the "bad" ones, but none talks about the trauma behind it.

  • @andiavictor1515
    @andiavictor1515 3 роки тому +1

    When they get emotion and acting out it's like hulk..they need someone to calm them

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  3 роки тому

      Very true in some cases. Yes. The "blow ups" are almost shocking.

  • @Nikkisweeets
    @Nikkisweeets 2 роки тому

    I’ve been told my whole life I’m like this… or that Im a drama queen? But IDK, I HATE attention, for example I hate the focus to be all on me. I would be the person that hates birthday party’s or even my own wedding because all the focus and attention would be on me… So I seriously don’t think Im Histrionic or a Narcissist?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  2 роки тому +1

      You're most likely not showing traits of histrionic personality disorder. There are some people who are simply "dramatic" at times as that is their character or how they have learned to respond to life. Not everyone who has "flare" to their personality is histrionic.

  • @musictherapy141
    @musictherapy141 Рік тому

    When the histrionic personality is your roommate 😩loud laughing, loud talking, overall disrespect & arrogance. I confront wisely, and do walk away. I read there is no cure for this disorder. So why take meds?

  • @jobecker4381
    @jobecker4381 Рік тому

    I feel like I have met a lot of these types in LA…

  • @ashleyching3166
    @ashleyching3166 4 роки тому +1

    The only triangulation I'm aware of for histrionics is the love triangle.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +2

      Very true. They do this all of the time and this often gives them pleasure.

  • @hala7320
    @hala7320 4 роки тому

    I’m just watching this because my friend has a psycho twin sister that hates me...and I don’t wanna talk to my friend no more because she keeps getting me involved in drama with her twin. So basically my friend keeps talking about her crush but their not aloud to talk to boys so her twin sister keeps thinking that I’m telling my friend to talk about her crush when o swear I haven’t been telling her none of that. But the reason is because I used to tell everything to my friend about my crush but I stopped about 3 months ago. Sooo her twin sister keeps blaming me for telling her twin to tag him in this and that and for talking about him and telling her to follow him when I haven’t. So she goes over our messages and sees her twin talking about her crush and she automatically puts the blame on me and says our friendship is “bad” but I have been telling my friend to block her crush but she won’t listen to us and it’s so annoying and I didn’t tell her to tag him in this or that and I never told her to even talk about him!! It’s legit annoying because I stopped months ago because I got in trouble with my friend and now my other friend wants to put me in drama that I am gonna get blamed for when I didn’t do anything 😒

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому

      I'm sorry I missed this comment.
      This is certainly the definition of "drama" and it appears to be what is called a drama triangle. There is always a victim in this triangle and that tends to be the person who draws drama to them. They have a way of making someone the rescuer or hero and another person the persecutor. Once they "create" roles for everyone to play they set out to accomplish their task which is often manipulative and harmful to others. Some people simply don't know that they engage in relationships in this manner. Other people realize it but simply don't care. It's often best to put distance between "dramatic" individuals and often question their behavior.

  • @raphaellavelasquez8144
    @raphaellavelasquez8144 4 роки тому +4

    My mom.

  • @tictactoedias1908
    @tictactoedias1908 Рік тому

    What to do when they ring you ( mother ) and tell you they’re at the hospital because they’ve slashed their wrist ... 😢

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  Рік тому +1

      I would respond in a balanced fashion and not play into any attempts to make you feel guilty, overwhelmed, or even sad. It was their choice to do that and the only thing you have control over now is to decide "do I support, or do I not?"

    • @tictactoedias1908
      @tictactoedias1908 Рік тому +1

      @@TherapistTamaraHill thank you so much for your reply 🙏

  • @user-daviddog
    @user-daviddog 3 роки тому

    I can tell that she wants to move inn with this guy because when we got to her apartment she had a broom in her hand and was ackting like she been cleaning awhile but not true she hadn't cleaned anything when he left she put the broom down and didn't put back what she moved.

  • @peterharris6604
    @peterharris6604 Рік тому +1

    Thanks

  • @olearyclyde
    @olearyclyde 4 місяці тому

    What if it is your mother?

  • @PinkYellowGreen2023
    @PinkYellowGreen2023 Рік тому +3

    I stop talking to dramatic people. I keep my distance....they are irritating and over top all of the time. I can't....take that garbage elsewhere.

  • @aloniutube
    @aloniutube 5 років тому +1

    very accurate

  • @GZUP90
    @GZUP90 2 місяці тому

    My mother.

  • @olearyclyde
    @olearyclyde 4 місяці тому

    My mom is very dramatic!!!!

  • @dianaverano7878
    @dianaverano7878 9 місяців тому

    What if you met the person with HPD along your work? You cant ignore because of work place.
    And yes. They lie. They manipulate. Drama queens.
    All those drama is fake

  • @clockworkpink13
    @clockworkpink13 11 місяців тому +1

    So looking nice gives you that disorder? Man I need to switch to pajama pants in public

  • @deepblue8081
    @deepblue8081 Рік тому +1

    I just ignore them

  • @georgegeorge9793
    @georgegeorge9793 2 роки тому +1

    My sister

  • @dramastudiobordeaux8058
    @dramastudiobordeaux8058 5 місяців тому

    i was married to one.....

  • @ivanleelivingston4902
    @ivanleelivingston4902 7 місяців тому

    It's fun to switch my new Histrionic neghbor to humour after her loud angry theatrical outbursts. If I tell a money story she tells us about the big windfall of money she just recieved. Or if I tell a funny story she has 3 funny stories.I will study this till person till it's stage right and go to black.

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  7 місяців тому

      It sounds like she always has to come out on top. These characters are good for that.

  • @Geeya6
    @Geeya6 5 років тому +1

    ❤️

  • @kekepagele8135
    @kekepagele8135 4 роки тому +1

    Should a person be concerned if their child is displaying this behavior?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому

      Very good question. It all depends. Kids are naturally "dramatic" at times and may show these behaviors as a form of attention seeking. However, if the behaviors are "extreme" then I would say, yes, that is something to worry about.

    • @kekepagele8135
      @kekepagele8135 4 роки тому

      @@TherapistTamaraHill The child also has meltdowns and when called out for the dramatic behavior tries to make herself the victim followed by a lot of negative speak. At what age would you suggest psychotherapy if it continues?

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому

      I would certainly reach out to a child therapist. Some kids are in therapy as young as 5 years old. That's the youngest group I see too.

    • @valentinavalentine7255
      @valentinavalentine7255 4 роки тому

      no ive been diagnosed with hpd and this is putting us in a negitive light we can be very loyal

    • @TherapistTamaraHill
      @TherapistTamaraHill  4 роки тому +1

      Hi @Shamarr Morris
      I think it's important to keep in mind that this disorder is different for everyone and this may not be how your dump are experienced or experienced. Personalizing often limits our understanding of disorders that we should understand is often very different.
      Take care

  • @lissettesbloom8223
    @lissettesbloom8223 4 роки тому +5

    We all need Jesus.

  • @peterharris6604
    @peterharris6604 Рік тому +1

    Thanks

  • @peterharris6604
    @peterharris6604 Рік тому +1

    Thanks