The Nine-Nine Once Said... Your Favourite Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes | Comedy Bites
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- Опубліковано 18 лис 2021
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Here's some of YOUR favourite Brooklyn Nine-Nine quotes from Jake Peralta, Captain Holt and more - all taken straight from the Comedy Bites Community! Did we miss the best 'Nine-Nine zinger? Let us know in the comments!
From Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the NBC series revolving around Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg), a New York City Police Department (NYPD) detective in Brooklyn's fictional 99th Precinct, who often comes into conflict with his commanding officer, the serious and stern Captain Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher). The series also stars Terry Crews as Sargeant Terry Jeffords, Melissa Fumero as Amy Santiago, Stephanie Beatriz as Rosa Diaz, Chelsea Peretti as Gina Linetti and Joe Lo Truglio as Charles Boyle.
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#BrooklynNineNine #B99 #JakePeralta #BrooklynNineNineS8 - Комедії
comment section is going off, maybe we'll do a part two with all these quotes?
Yes missing b99
You need "a cookie pizza !!" From Hitchcock and skully
The best one - ooooh self burn , those are rare
BONE!!!!!
What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your buisness.
BoooOooOooone!
“YOU TOOK THE WRONG, FLUFFY BOY” -Raymond Holt
Rosa: "What's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?"
Gina: "The audacity"
She never actually said that. Someone just took a random still and added those lines to it
I thought I commented this because of the profile picture and then realized my jokes aren’t good-
The hoedacity
@@Anonymos185 Sounds like something they would say though, it even works the opposite way.
"Yas queen." Still my favorite Captain Holt line.
*snap*
Mine is: VIIIiindicaAatiOOOOOON
The snap seals it too, along with his delivery.
The snap brings it home! But I don't know if it tops "BOOOONE!"
Mine is "What you say?"
I know a woman who got both a throwing axe and a music box for the same birthday. She loved them both. Rosa has a point.
i know a 7 yo girl who got a skateboard, composite bow and a book on weaponry build with popsicle sticks for christmas one year. she loves it
her parents are still mad at us.
@@patlee4858 🤣dude, awesome
@@patlee4858 america?
@@blai8does ur country not allow girls on skateboard?
of course, throwing axe is the best gift
"There's a bomb in this wedding as well.
Ya butt. Ya butt is da bomb.
There will be no survivors."
- Amy Santiago
Jake on their anniversary at a hospital after a mission:
“However there is the second bomb in this hospital.
*Ames really worried*
Ya butt. Ya butt is da bomb.”
“When did she record this?” “Judging by the flames around her, it could be a live stream” -Rosa
Please explain the burn?
@@raynmo674 When Wuntch died, Holt got a Video of her last will, which she recorded in front of a fireplace.
With her statement Rosa was implying that this isn't a recorded video, but Wuntch is in Hell (the fire in the background ) and doing a live stream right now
Wuntch: Hello Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth Floor.
Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.
The Wuntch burns are my favorites.
What exactly does that burn mean 😭
hes calling her a witch @@lenaxox4167
@@lenaxox4167 this is a year late but he's calling her a witch (who are known to ride brooms)
Jake: “I made my own Suicide squad”
Holt: “Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad, Peralta, because I already want to kill myself.”
Wuntch: “Why don’t you wait a week, you’ll probably die of old age”
Holt: “The only way I’m gonna die is if you touch me with one of your boney fingers and drag me across the river Styx you reaper”
Literally any interaction between the two, or them talking about each other needs to be in this
"Hello, Deputy Chief Wuntch. You've aged."
The GREATEST line in the show arguably in television.
it has to be the 'BONEEEE' scene
@@salonii6345 Nah. More like 'I'd like to bet $20,000 on yabba- dabba- doo'. Anyway, Holt has the best lines ever
@@maicom802 facts spoken
simple yet devastating
No, it's "I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you."
Holt: if it shows Madeline, be sure not to look directly into her eyes
Rosa: because we’ll turn to stone?
Holt: no because her eyes are ugly
There's a beat before he says "ugly" and it takes me out every time.
BONEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
- Captain Holt
Greatest line in the entire show 😂
"No, from now on, call me ... Velvet Thunder.
- Okayyyyy."
This was soooo funnyy 😭😭😭😭😆😹😹😹
or even VINDICATIONNNN
*BONEEEEEEEEEEE* 🤣
"You know me. I see a pair of thick, weighty breasts and all logic flies out the window"
- Captain Raymond Holt
“Who doesn’t bring their phone with them into the bathroom?”
“That’s like the whole reason you go in there”~ Jake Peralta
Just put the whole show on here. Don't be a coward, Comedy Bites.
please don't come for me like this
@@ComedyBites lmao i love the person who runs this channel
@@melaniesalphabetgirl 🤣🤣 right?? Subscribed to Comedy Bites now because of this interaction
@@ComedyBites aww 🫂
@@ComedyBites comedy bites more like cowardly bites
“YOU TOOK THE WRONG FLUFFY BOY.” -Raymond Holt
Holt: "cus ever since we've been down here you've been a little... depressed"
Jake: "Have I?"
Also Jake: *crying in a hot tub*
Holt: "no don't eat the burrito"
Jake: *crying noises* "i'm disgusTING"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That scene is my absolute favorite.
Amy: “My waffle xylophone on the cheese man”
Holy: “What?”
Amy: “My lip-reading is not flawless”
Always gets me lmao
lmaooooo
I still dont know what was supposed to be there instaed of cheese man
"Better take some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture"- Everybody loves Kevin
Kevin is the frickin best. It gets me every time when they talk on the phone and Holy always says, “It’s your husband, Raymond Holt”
"I'm sorry, I couldn't bring myself to call him a dirtbag"
"And why would you, it's a very useful part of a vacuum cleaner, it's a compliment"
“Oh, you guys are so perfect for each other🥲”
"you just ran me over" "I am in immense pain"
*you just ran over my foot... I am in, incredible pain
@@DW-ip8ky same thing im not gonna look it up just for a comment lmao
“Excuse me officer” “Yes sweetheart?” “SWEETHEART?? Seriously Hank is that how you talk to women who come in here??”
- Rosa Diaz
JIMMY JABS!!
Hank: ...the Jimmy Jab games, huh?
Captain Holt: “Wait. This isn’t the championship cummerbund. It’s just some common cummerbund. And you’re not Cheddar. You’re just some common b****.”🤣🤣🤣💗💗💗
My favorite is “ why don’t you take a load of your cloven hooves “
“ calling me the devil Raymond? So original! “
“ no I was calling you a goat”
“ you goat “
- holt and wunch
Jake:"Why are you showing me this?"
Holt:"Because no one, will ever believe you."
That was Holt hula hooping right?
@@darksonic6938 Yeah, definitely one of my favorite interactions with Holt and Jake
“Sarge I’m waaayyyy to sleep deprived to deal with your negativity right now”- Jake Peralta
Holt: ‘White goes first’
Gina: ‘I guess chess really is like real life’
Holt: And now: A message of hope.
Peralta: See, this is perfect timing! A message of hope.
Holt: Everything is garbage.
Peralta: Oh boy.
“I don’t see another person from the outside world for another 3 weeks and my only friend is a cannibal”
“Woodworker”
-Caleb and Jake
"Cheddar pwease dwrop it, I'll give you anything you want" - Charles Boyle
“oh… Cheddar is the alpha…”
rosa: "its beautiful"
holt: "VINDICATIOOOON"
"how am I attracted to you?" and "how are we together?" my two fav sentences which perfectly describe whole peraltiago story 😊
"You want me to prevent Hitchcock from spilling sauce on himself?"
"IT'S A SUICIDE MISSION."
"Then prepare for death."
-Jake and Holt
"With all due respect I'm gonna completely ignore everything you just said "
-jake peralta
Rosa: Come on, sir, the math thing isn't the problem. Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.
Amy: [chuckles nervously]
Captain Holt: What did you say?
Amy: Don't say it again.
Rosa: I said you two need to bone.
Amy: [whimpers]
Captain Holt: How dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! [shouting, five minutes later] Bone! [sternly, ten minutes later] What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. [shouting, twenty-one minutes later] Bone?! [calmly, forty minutes later] Don't ever speak to me like that again.
Amy: 🥺Why did you do that?
You know Scary Terry’s a dangerous character when he yells, “This is taking to long! I’m going to miss the farmer’s market!”
“Tent singular? TENT SINGULAR!?”
"Grave singular? Charles! GRAVE SINGULAR???"
Holt: "You're like the League of Nations in '36, just hoping the Abyssinian Crisis resolves itself."
Wunch: "That's the lesson you draw from the fall of Addis Ababa? Raymond, you sound so naïve."
Holt: "And you sound just like Victor Emmanuel III”
Terry: "I have no idea who's winning"
Holt: [beat] "I am."
Wunch: I see you've got an audience for this little stunt.
Holt: Well, who wouldn't want to see a man fight a crocodile?
The "yasssss queen" and snap took me out 😆 🤣 😂
"I'm a Poet...and I didn't even know I was rhyming those words, but it happened anyway"
~ Captain Raymond Holt
Where's this one from?
@@daniellins4114 the stake with Amy and Holt when they try to catch an old perp
-Zero absences? Ohhh mama, printing it for later...
-Keep it in your pants Santiago!
-Oh, That's exactly where it's going!
Can't help feeling 3:15 is missing: "Tell my wife, I love her... work ethic."
"Im not angry , I think its funny *fake laughs like a maniac* "
- Rosa
"Yass queen"
followed by that delayed *snap* is my favorite Holt moment of all time.
Captain Holt (on having family photos at your desk): "If you love someone, you'll remember what they look like." - Wednesday Incident (S2 E16)
"The only thing m not good at is modesty because I'm great at it"
Gina
- "Sticks and stones Raymond."
+ "Are you describing your breakfast?"
Thats where the blood supposed to be 🤣
That was my comment 🥺🥺
"Boost my bottom!"
-Capt. Holt
I'M BOOSTING!!
I cried
"He heard I speak Spanish so he made me fire his housekeeper. She's Polish."
-Amy Santiago.
Besides being a great statement her anger enhances the joke even more. Top notch acting.
Terry: “JAKEEE!?”
Jake: “COMING STRONGMAN”
*BONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*
-Captain Raymond Holt
"If you see something say somthing..
come on and party tonight🎵🎶" - Captain C J
The guy's got hooks.
“The only way I’m gonna die is if you touch me with one of your boney fingers and drag me across the river sticks, YOU REAPER”
*river of styx
Rosa: "You beat a robot in a Dance Battle?"
Terry: "No, I destroyed him."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm dissolving the tension"
"... Dancing captain! Dancing captain!"
"Tension dissolved."
Captain Holt's quotes are literally the best 😭
6:15 yass queen
6:40 so i remember to yell it 💀
6:49 WUNTCH IS DEAD! BAGEL!
"You know you really have their respect when you can take a moment...."
*Cue Terry pouring his drink*
"And still have their attention"
"Oh my god"
"That was captivating as hell"
The fact that the entire "i want it that way" scene wasn't shown is a crime @comedybites
YASS QUEEN.
The BEST line without a Doub.
The balloon arch scene between Rosa and Holt though
Rosa: she's beautiful
Holt: VINDICATION!!!!
2:35 even as he’s having a heart attack he still tells them to get back to work. I respect it.
Yall forgot the best quote of the series
"Head first, eyes closed, can't lose."
-Jake Peralta
The Vulture: You know, I've made a lot of improvements since you left. I got a fridge for my protein shakes. I got a kettlebell station. I got a wolf that I killed in Utah.
Captain Holt: I'm fairly certain that's a dog.
The Vulture: Yeah, it was dark.
“AND I’LL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR 😀” that line always gets me 😂
Jake: All right, we got to get there quick.
Holt: Maybe we should take the chopper.
Jake: You said chopper!
Holt: Death Blade, Sidewinder, it's go time
Jake: Roger that, Wet Blanket.
Holt: No, from now on, call me.. Velvet Thunder!
Yass queen- also holt
I love how you could see all 36 of his teeth when he over enunciated it, lol
Rosa's cackling knocks the wind out of me omg
Maybe my favorite line from the whole series:
Terry (referencing his daughters): ‘But they're playing "Uptown Funk."’
Holt: *‘I wouldn’t care if they were playing actual music’*
Gina: “ooooooooo a lovers quarrel”
Amy: “no, I’m just tired”
Gina: “ I didn’t ask for part 2!”
Stawp I love Gina sm!
Favorite!
6:34
this is one of the funniest things i've seen in my entire life i love this show so much
6:38
And half the population disappeared
**disappears into dust**
1:09 Jake’s face there 😭😭😭
Amy : "Where are you going? You can run but you can't hide. The apartment will run red with the blood of Nikolaj."
What’s crazy is at one point this is no longer hypothetical, because Rosa *isn’t* a cop, yet I’m willing to bet she still has all those weapons in her house.
d-d-d-d-d-d-darrek x4
"Hello Madeline, I didn't see you there. I thought you were an old leather chair"
"are you bowing?"
"nooo, this is how I walk"
“YAS QUEEN” forever my fav line said by Captain Holt
I am surprised though . How can pimento not be seen in a video of 7:45 minutes? He is like one of the most interesting character of nine nine. His every single dialogue is a Quote.
"We can stop paying for an exterminator its pointless we all have guns." ~Rosa Diaz
Yippie Kayak, other buckets! -Charles lol
6:39 that is my favorite scene and that snap was absolutely necessary and funny.
Holt yelling "bagel" reminded me of back in the day when he played on the show Homicide and his character had a stroke and couldn't remember the word coffee and kept calling it "bagel", and it kinda bummed me out.
"If I had a mic right now, I'd drop it" - Linetti, Gina
"The whole team is running smoothly and perfectly like a well-lubed, oiled time clock - bye." Peralta (S01Ep14)
Holt and Wuntch is always a fountain of Golden Quotes. 😂
The yess queen had me rolling and the snap just killed me
6:51 GOLDEN
"Fun?! I was never fun, you take that back!"
- Cpt. Raymond Holt
0:31 OMG I'm in the video 🔥🔥❤❤
7:12 best line ever
“I haven’t felt the touch of a woman in many moons.” “All right...” “Santiago! Don’t walk away from meee!” So good right off the bat. Still my most quoted scene.
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Wuntch burns are the highlights of the show. You could take any holt-wuntch banter and put it here.
"YOU TOOK THE WRONG FLUFFY BOY" -Captain holt
Scully's dream though!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Yas queen *clicks fingers*" Raymond Holt is and forever will be an icon
“Oh Madelline I didn’t see you there I thought you were an old leather chair” -Commissioner Kelly in Raymond Holt’s mind
Wunch: sticks and stones, Raymond.
Holt: describing your breakfast?
My favourite B-99 quote is, and will always be: “you better get some corticoide steroids to treat that laryngeal fracture” -Kevin, and both times he says it
2:30 are we sure this is the right one?
They played the right one exactly after that one, they prob just found the 1st one funny as well