Thank you for all the support over the years. We get many emails each day and read some really touching and sad stories. This is a topic that we feel is dear to us. And we hope that can help raise awareness for those who may have experienced any of these signs. Do help us share this video as well if you can! Thanks!
@@Psych2go well yeah more I observe others more i get to know about the possibilities of how a child can be treated. Not just about childhood but even when you're a teen you can be treated different from others, even different from your own siblings
1)you completely avoid intimate relationships 2)you have taken over the role of "helper" 3)you appear happy on the outside even when you're sad 4)you often feel EMPTY 5)you can't relate to those around you
I can for sure relate to 3 out of the 5. I need to listen to # 1 again. I could be doing that without realizing it...I don't completely avoid intimate relationships. I only let them go to a certain extent and I don't like that. I wish there was a little more detail about the 2nd one.
We can't deny the fact that childhood traumas hit different. It will literally scar you for life. It's sad how a lot of children are made to experience something they're not supposed to experience.
A lot of adults in this world are just plain unfit to be parents. They don’t have the mental, emotional or financial capabilities to raise a child to be a functioning member of society. But won’t stop men from spreading their seed because of their “legacy” or women from having babies out of wedlock because they want to “experience” motherhood or not be lonely. Nobody ever thinks from the perspective of the child, whom never once asked to be created, but are often born into horrible livelihoods. This is why I can never blame poorly raised or behaving children. It’s the parent’s fault they are that way.
@@FINETUNEDGAMING I totally agree with that. A lot of people nowadays just wanted to have the baby out of curiosity or for whatever reasons that they may have without even planning ahead of what will happen after the baby is born and when the baby grows. I mean there's nothing wrong with having a child as long as you are capable and you take every responsibility to raise the child the way he/she deserves. I know there are people that will say that we shouldn't put all the blame to the parents but like what they say "It all starts in the family".
Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve been mistreated until you hear how other people experienced their childhood and notice that most people haven’t gone through what you have. It’s sad how many people relate to this video 🥺
I do too. I experienced childhood trauma and verbal abuse. Couple that with having a controlling mother. I also found out at 17 that I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I had gone to see a psychologist but never asked why. I have been judged in elementary and middle school for being socially different than others. These days I smoke weed and wear diapers after work. Judge me if you want. But first try walking a mile in my shoes. My life hasn't been any bit easy it's been nothing but loads of struggles since early childhood.
@@AspieGamer1986 What must be borne in mind if someone attempts to strike a blow on you with judgment, is that their verdict about your identity or your personality or your conduct will inevitably be a meaningless jumble of empty words and lies, hence you must not take it to your heart nor deem these words as the truth. The only authority figure that has jurisdiction over you along with the rights to judge you is nobody else, but God, for His judgment is flawless and of irrefutable perfection. *Matthew 7:1-6* “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
I’m dealing with my “stolen childhood” since 2002, with a therapist. No one can understand what is it, only if you had the same trauma. My parents, they’re way to be away from my emotions, made me the way I am, I was just a child needing connection with my feelings. I grow up in a violent house, never was a home. I write songs to make people laugh and feel good but now, in Brazil is 5am, and I’m thinking about my childhood and how wrong was everything. I miss real emotions, I miss something that I don’t even know what is, I miss me, I don’t feel at all, or my brain just lock my feelings for everyone and everything, afraid of being sad again. If you’re a parent and you’re reading this! GO TALK WITH YOUR SONS, ASK THEM HOW THEY FEEL and even if they say IM OK keep watching, closely everyday. I miss something and I always will miss something, I will never get “cured” because, I repeat, I was just a child….that’s not fair, now I’m a grown man, 37, still missing something, still missing happiness, connection and smiling and making people feel comfortable, because I project what I didn’t receive, if you’re reading this, I hope it makes you think about your life. Be safe @wesjfaria
Oh, what a beautiful explanation 👏. I understand how you feel. No matter how we scape from our past, it'll still follow us. I wasn't aware before that when I made decisions were based on my past and everything was wrong. Our caregivers from childhood ruin our cognitive decision making. I am writing a book how to deal with trauma every day because I found a way... Hope you are okay 👍...you are not alone ❤️
I can never relate but i wish you can find your own happiness. Its sad because to break the cycle of childhood trauma is to make sure no other children would live the same days as our childhood life.
Sending you love & light. The journey NEVER ends and you have the gift of self accountability. You did that. No one else. You’re never too late. You’re right on time. Praying 🙏🏽🤍
This helps me realize that childhood is the most crucial and critical time of our lives and if the needs of a child are neglected then it will have a long term impact on their future life which is.... Irreparable
Childhood trauma has been a part of my life. Add in verbal abuse and a controlling mother in some way and you'd understand why I smoke weed and wear diapers after work. Judge me but before you do, understand that I have had a lot to overcome in my life and then add on to that finding out you've been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at 17. I remember going to see a psychologist 5 years earlier but was never told why.
It's called childhood trauma but it never really leaves. So hard to heal from what you go through as a child and the way it shapes our personalities afterwards. Like my parents told me I was weak I'd suck at sports and I repeated the same narrative to myself for years, and obviously was never above average at any sport. I'm trying to break these narratives right now and so much power to anyone who's doing the same ❤️
I too was told im a good for nothing idiot Just because i did not do something Perfect ! My God i was a dang kid and they kept at it into my 19th year then i told pops FU and your house im out. But as the world turned i did great at my first adult job at the local steel mill , but got into the fast life in Norwalk ca. too many girls booze and weed , yup went trhu my 20s so fast then 30 going on 18 baby came :) turns out i was a Great Father to my Daughter and step son :) i turned into a workaholic and provided for them . Now 39 years forward im living with my best friend a woman and she has helped me see im not a loser , its by the Grace of God that i didn't turn out to be a serial killer or rapist , as a child i seen what NO child should see Yup mom with a Man :( . I love my pops even tho he was ruff on me but mom i only love her because Giod tells me to love her, i dont like her and dont talk with her anymors , she such a bad Narcicistic person !! At least i know its not my fault how i can relate so much to the song , Yesterday by Roy Clark ! i reckon i hated woman / mom !
Yes, and thank you for powerfully sharing your story with everyone. This keeps the community feeling inspired and hopeful for those who are going through similar events. I love how you recognize it's the narrative that could be changed..
@@albertchavez2693 Omg! That must be really hard for you. 😰 I hope you're doing well now, and it's good you keep reminding yourself that it wasn't your fault. Never give up on that. There are many good people out there but they're just hard to get sometimes. Your best friend sounds amazing. Take care.
Dealing with my own traumas I can say it may have taken a lot. However, it has given me a dark, twisted sense of humor and an outlook or perspective on life most don’t see. Find your reason to be!
@@shacheeparashurami9981 Sadly, my husband was never as hot alive as he was dead. Cremation really turns up the heat factor. Told you, dark / twisted. 😂
I love how this Chanel opens up a chance to discuss these things, explain them and it acknowledges that this isn't a definite diagnosis and professional help is available ❤️
Where I live I seeked professional help for my childhood. The professionals where only interested in my everyday issues such as an ocational bad day at work. Eventually the professionals told me I can't be helped and I am on my own.
@@Psych2go Currently, everything listed in the video. In addition, abandonment issues, hyper vigilance, anxiety, depression, self harm. This stems from my conception, being an unwanted child, an illegal adoption, childhood sexual abuse by my adoptive father. The isolation has been & is terrible. But I’m still here, still trying, still hoping…for healing.
The worst part is it truly is our parents and family that took it away and many gaslight you into feeling it never happened. The people that are meant to protect and love us unconditionally, and it's primarily to their mental illnesses and abuse cycles. These uploads have been resonating with my life and current struggle with familial trauma and it feels so much less lonely, yet unfortunate that so many others have been through the same.
This video is literally how I feel. Im literally the therapist of the friend group. Not that I hate helping my friends, it's just I need someone who I can lie down and cuddle up to. I have experienced heavy shit over the years and I had to grow up quickly.
I'm known as mom by my friends yet have no kids and like you said I love helping them and seeing them happy but sometimes I want to be vulnerable even when I physically can't
I do notice I use the phrase “I don’t know” a lot, especially when I’m getting to close to something that hurts or when I’m to scared to tell what I’m feeling… I have wholes in my memory about my childhood or there isn’t really much of one that I can remember and I’m 32 so maybe there was some trauma somewhere
If you have enough money, I recommend EMDR to get your memories back (if you want them back, to deal with them and eventually start to heal) Personally im only 17 and have about 7-8 years of my life just.. forgotten. Thats a lot for someone my age and I wish I could do EMDR because it’s success rates are super high. But instead, i’ll recommend it to you! Even if you cant, im sure some kind of therapy would help with that too. EMDR is just mainly focused on memory.
As a child, i was always left out, lonely and i just have bad memories about it now. I am childish in my 12s because i'm re-doing my childhood and i don't care if it's too late.
My childhood was stolen too.. When I entered my teenage years I was such a quiet kid who is very introverted, I even kinda get emotional whenever people try to mention it in a harsh way so I decided to change myself into a better and good version and become stronger with an outgoing personality.. now I'm the version I wanted to be.. I didn't escape from the reality but instead I changed into a happy self
I was taken away from my mom when I was 9 years old from an honest mistake. We were placed with my brothers father where I was abused for little things. The conditions he had us living in was terrible, we lived in an abandoned house with no water and used to have to steal water from the neighbors. Sometimes we didn't take showers or eat. He sent me to school bleeding from abuse and my friend spoke up for me. Next we get sent to our aunt and uncles house, it finally seemed like everything was finally going right but I was wrong. My aunt and uncle had never been In our lives before then and they also didn't like my mother. So one day we got home and he forced us to say that we were sexually abused by all of the parents, if we spoke against it we would get beaten. After all the embarrassing doctor visits and seeing the counselor everyday I had finally spoke up and said it was all a lie. By this time I noticed my mom didn't want us back nor did she seek parenting classes even though her and her new husband were doing great for themselves. Me my brothers and sister were now split up and I went to a foster home. Again everything seemed to be going OK until the woman got drunk one day and I got pushed into a closet and then moved her off of me, she proceeded to call the police and tell them that everything was my fault and then I was sent to a group home. For the first time I had to fight almost every other day 😒. I've left out plenty of things in my story and have much more from the following years. All my life I was waiting for things to get better buy it got worse. Felt like a dark rain cloud followed me everywhere I went. I wanted intimacy but I always feared they were going to abandoned me. I never fit in with the crowd and missed out on essential things in high school. I stay to myself and push people away and I have gotten my life together as of now. I'm a home owner with a few cars and family, but there's things that they don't understand about my and I have the slightest idea on how to be family oriented so it leads to arguments with my fiance. She tells me that I'm not that affectionate, I don't laugh and joke or play around, I'm always serious and guarded. I never smile I always look sad even when I'm not 😒
@@marquiswilliams6251 I've had a life of hard knocks myself so hearing other people's stories helps me to understand that I'm not alone. Hearing your story touched me because I can relate to it. I felt cursed my whole life. So Thank you again for sharing...I know it's not easy to do so. I do believe telling your story will help you heal. 🙏
I’m sorry. My story is similar! I’m also doing good with a family and “normal life” but I always feel like something is missing. My wife says the same things about me. Keep strong brother!
Drowned waterboarding style, beaten in the back of the head and face daily. Berated verbally everyday. And this was as a child, I had no childhood. My father is a sadistic abusive monster , no repentance and no regret for everything he did to me over the years. No apology, God will judge him in the end. Took me years to process my trauma nightmares of drowning and beating every night till I fully remember everything. The impact and effect it had on me growing up I don't even want to start
Yeah that's very serious. That's torture. I don't know how to deal with it since I lived less, mostly verbal abuse and sometimes physical. I guess being aware is already a lot step to get better! Then trying to rebuild ourselves with positive people or at least not toxic. And also accepting that we will never know a normal life, with our own family and all. Accepting to be alone can be a good thing I guess. Accepting that our father has been a bast*** and forgetting him. To say that some people have experienced worst...
I felt this wayyy too hard. On top of having a very messed up family dynamic at home, I basically lived at the hospital. I was always in some sort of doctor's office or ER or hospital room, ever since I was around 4. The majority of my life, I had no friends. I'm homeschooled so the only opportunity I had to make friends was at church and all the kids my age there hated me for some reason and often made fun of me or ignored me completely. I was completely isolated. Not even my close family would visit me in thd hospital. I'd wait for hours for somebody to visit and nobody ever came. The only time anyone besides my immediate family even acknowledged me was whenever I had a big surgery coming up and they were scared I'd die on the operating table. I was put into therapy for severe medical trauma and anxiety, to then be diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, ADHD, and had really really bad anxiety. I was 6. I feel like I basically had no childhood even though my parents did everything they could to make it as normal is it could be. I mean heck, I was a 6 year old girl who'd just gotten diagnosed with 5 Mental Illnesses and then a year later I had a tube placed into my stomach for medicine to go through. Fast-forward to about age 12 and I had another medical device placed to help with some nerves that don't function right. And now, I'm almost 15 and we go to pick up my CPAP machine on Thursday. I feel like my life is going so wrong. Everywhere I look, there's a new metal or physical illness. I try to push it away and just avoid thinking about the fact that I'm not even 15 and my body is declining so rapidly in so many ways compared to everyone else my age. Like with the tube and nerve stimulator device they're harder to see and easy to hide, to forget about, considering one is literally implanted under my skin so I can't even see it. But a CPAP machine means a constant reminder that im extremely sick and I might not ever get better. I wish I could just have been a child, and I wish that now I could just be a normal teenager. I was forced to grow up too early and now I'm attempting to step into roles that im not ready to handle because I don't know where else to go from here. It sucks.
Sorry you're going through so much, so young :( When I was 6 my dad got leukaemia so we were always in and out of hospitals for 3years. I basically became the mum at home, took over the chores while being emotionally neglected by my mum and bullied & beaten up by my sister. Thanks to this trauma I was denied a formal autism diagnosis. I'm glad you got your MH diagnoses to help you work through your issues, and hope you get used to the CPAP machine soon, and that it helps you feel better 🙏 Finding the right therapist and type of therapy for you is key - I hope you find someone to help you heal emotionally from the awful issues you've had to endure 💗
Babe I’m so sorry that you felt like no one cared to visit you. I can’t relate to your medical illnesses but I got bullied a lot as a kid and my family would get mad at me instead of doing something to help. I felt like I didn’t have a place anywhere. I felt that I didn’t have worth in anyones eyes. In these situations, it’s easy to feel hopeless and to just wish for any sense of normalcy. I like to believe that god/the universe whatever you believe in does their best to protect us. We have unfortunate situations where we get hurt, sick, bullied cursed at. However, I don’t think that that is their will. I think that there might’ve been worse in store for us, but those forces protect us. We just don’t know it because it never happened. There’s many times where it’s hard to see all the good things in your life but hope is learning how to be grateful for our life, which is our present, and the opportunity to use our past to change the future. I hope you won’t view yourself or your story as odd while wishing for someone else’s life, but see your life as your own, separate and unique from others. You don’t have to live a normal life for it to have value, or for you to find happiness. There’s beauty in sadness and we find ways to mix the good and bad in life to make a giant mural. I cry when I look at my mural from gratitude that I’ve come this far. I hope you can find a way to see yours in a positive way someday too. Wishing you health and happiness. Sorry if my comment is rambley/doesn’t make sense. English isn’t my first language.
I relate to your medical and mental issues. But I made it to 36 with a CPAP machine and I have a child and husband. Serially be as well as you can, and if you are meant to be abc then you will become that just as fate/God/karma intends
@@abigailgonzalez6078 very well phrased!! Exactly that; we have to be grateful for the good things and maybe learn some tough lessons from bad things that happen. I might not have met my husband if I had lived my life differently, for example. Like that poem "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." - we could mourn the road we didn't take OR enjoy the journey we are on instead.
I was neglected of interaction because my parents were extremely strict (which prevented me from going to social events), having a heart disease (which prevented me from entering sports and play physical stuff), and had a "school shock" that questioned my existence back in the 8th grade. This, this video. This video hit hard for me. Thanks for sharing another video. Would probably help me out with my current journey for character development.
Unfortunately, I do not believe I am tenacious enough to endure my miserable fate of living like the average person (╯︵╰,) No one with a sound mind who uses rationality to calculate what steps to take and what decisions to make in life would desire to be like me, unless they are an enthusiastic masochist who searches for affliction or someone who wants to experience a life of surreal absurdity, viz. for experimental purposes, or just a mindless madman who unironically thinks that it is actually a good idea: only these could adjust to the conditions of this gloomy swamp of Dadaism and find the warmth to call it home.
@@solonada9602 Nobody has to live average. It just comes down to what you believe your'e capable of. The mind is a powerful thing and will sometimes try to screw with you but if you look at what you really want out of life and who you want to become. You can take the necessary steps to get there. I don't know your situation at all so I don't want to overstep but I know that you don't have to live like the average person. You can change your life and your beliefs and therefore change your fate to what you really want.
@@mindscopechannel The truth that I was designed to be and that I am indeed a legitimate average person has stayed unveiled and visible to the eye ever since the very beginning of my existence, however what made me cease to recognize my true purpose in life was my desperate endeavor to conceal my own inherent design by masquerading as someone of a higher status in the most pretentious fashion. What I was unaware of is that my decision to deem myself as someone I am not was a big mistake, and even a bigger mistake was that I incessantly kept neglecting my authenticity in favor of the contrived identity I had fabricated in order to escape from the bitter truth of reality which hitherto I had not been able to acknowledge at that time, and it all consequently backfired upon realizing that it indeed is impossible to feel real comfort and peace when you have betrayed your own authentic character.
@@solonada9602 You need to change your perspective. If you believe all youll be is average than of course your'e going to do things that will get you there. But if you believe that you can be above average and live an above average life than youll start doing the things to get there. Your'e in control of your actions. Theres always gonna be people who have come from worse than you and who looked to be the most average of the average but actively changed and turned their lives and themselves into some of the most above average out there.
I'm a guy and was sexually assaulted when I was a toddler(5yrs old maybe) and neglected n beaten around 10 yrs old. These videos are excellent and are bang on. I'm now an adult and have been battling demons...I'm tired of fighting, trying to get help but I just seem to self destruct instead. Want help but just can't do it and I'm ashamed of what I've become.💔
Mine has been… Tough. It’s funny how easy it is for it to jump out when you feel happy: you can switch like a bulb exploding in a dark basement. For the most part I am able to get on with, but I’m really sorry for people actively struggling with it. Let’s be better people, so that no one has to experience it anymore.
@@Psych2go thank you for your words. The whole point of making mental awareness bite sized is a precious thing and a noble purpose: since mental health, couple dynamics and relationships are something many struggle with, your videos are unbelievably effective for people that may not know how to recognize and deal with various situations. I had to figure stuff on my own and I’ve been lucky to not lose myself along the way, but this kind of content can make the difference. Continua così, tanto amore dall’Italia 🇮🇹
When i se How my husband treats his children… I’m shocked and amazed ! I never got that as a child.. so much love, support and even hobbies ??? And YES I’m definitely te helper 🥺😞
I might have first had a glimpse of my childhood being different when my classmates said they wanted their childhood back and I said I can’t wait to move out of my parents house. Got a long way to go but it’s fine I’m not subjected to the constant abuse and narcissistic behaviour anymore. I resonated with all 5 and the first point stated is why I am so afraid of relationships. Even thinking about someone getting to know me and how they would react to situations, basic hugs scare me.
0:32 "You completely avoid intimate relationships" 1:11 "You have taken over te role of the 'Helper'' 1:45 "You appear happy on the outside even when you're sad" 2:15 "You often feel empty" 2:54 "You can't relate to those around you"
These videos showed me how many problems my parents caused for me. Thank you for helping me have better understanding on why I’m so messed up. Thank your from the bottom of my heart
That’s really strange I have to admit I related to everything. I’m a very quiet person now. I’m definitely the clown but a depressed sad boy behind it. I know when I lived with my bio mom up till I was 8 I raised myself, no friends always been lonesome thinking back on it it’s making me feel empty right now
i remember people calling me mature for my age. i never wanted to go play with the other kids my age and instead i just sat with the adults and my friends dad would say “you’re too young to not want to play games.” my therapist once told me that i hide my emotions too much because i was on the verge of tears but still smiling. i may not act like the parent of my friend group at school because we all act the same and they all understand me but when i am out of school and with other people my age i always feel like if something happens to them it’s my fault. like it is my responsibility to keep them safe. oh remember even when i was i think 10 or 11 i was really struggling with school work and i had really bad depression and anxiety. my mom would just yell at me and i would cry myself to sleep. then the next morning she would apologize and she once told me that feeling upset was normal and feeling like things would be easier if you were just dead was normal. yeah i found out years later that apparently it’s not normal. thanks, mom.
This really resonates with me, but it’s a little different. In these past two years I’ve felt that any time I get upset or angry my mom becomes reserved and acts like I’m acting out. I tell her I’m aloud to have feelings, but it’s more me telling myself that than my mother. I don’t know where it stems from, though. Maybe it’s because for most of 2020 I was numb, not depressed, just numb. I didn’t care if I lived or died and yknow what if I died tomorrow then at least I enjoyed today… that was my motto. When your perspective changes, you used to be afraid of the dark and then you go numb and no longer run up the stairs, and now you’ve gone back to running up the stairs because you want to live, because you are excited for your future away from this wretched place, this wretched state. The worst part is I didn’t even realize I had a good deal of childhood trauma until these past few months. The worst part is I check all the boxes stated in the video, and I’m not entirely sure when or where it started. I still feel lost, and empty, but I have a goal, and that’s all that has kept me going truthfully. The goal of one day going to college out of this state, away from everyone I don’t want to be around. In the state I want to be in, away from cold weather. Sorry, went on a rant.
For me and maybe others. My issues aren’t from my parents. I have a really good relationship with them. However every single friend I’ve ever had, bare with me it sounds dramatic but fr every single one has betrayed me. Lied to me or about me. Some even stole from me. I want more than anything to have real friendships with people I can engage with and feel close to but I’m horrified of what I know will happen again. My only outlet to release the tension is distracting myself or work. Usually distracting myself is my go to. And I’ve begun to blame myself for where I’m at even though I know that none of it was my fault. And so I have no one to turn to about what I’m really going through because who wants to share this intimate emotional pain with their family? This is something to spill to your friends about and talk with. I don’t want to burden family because they’ll just try and help me out of it and all I want is someone to tell me that I’m not the monster for wanting something real for myself.
I had the same experience,i always hear childhood trauma is connected to having issues with the caregivers but for me it was always been the social environment,the school atmosphere,so i agree with you and relate to what you've said, And also i hope you're doing good and started to slowly love yourself :)
In the end, everyone will leave you to save themselves. You cannot trust anyone and that is our reality, we are ignorant foolish beings with ones purpose never really fulfilled. Life is just a roller coaster full of horrors and makes us not want to ride it again. You will probably disagree and ignore me but in some time, you will have to consider this fact.
It’s hard to find trustworthy people. Very hard. I find a key is starting small with tight boundaries. Don’t give anyone the chance to steal from you. Don’t invite them over. Have valuables locked away. The most important empowerment in life maybe boundaries & it’s something not allowed in dysfunctional families so you don’t even have awareness that you should have them or how to enforce them if you’ve come from dysfunction. Everything starts in childhood but the symptoms of dysfunctional programming becomes visible in your other relationships. Sometimes I wonder if everyone would sue their parents if they ever realized the root of every problem was from their parents. Some psychological experts believe it all hinges on attachment.
I was constantly told “Everyone experiences these emotions. It doesn’t mean you’ve been traumatized. Stop being so dramatic” whenever I tried to talk about these feelings as a kid. Yet those same people act so surprised when I say I’m emotionally neglected…
I get the feeling that I might have childhood trauma. When I was little, my brother was always getting on my nerves. He would take every single opportunity to harness, belittle me and nick pick everything I'd do in the most condescending harshest way. Now I know what you're thinking, siblings fight right? Here's the thing, he never stopped. Our feuding went on from our childhoods into our late teen years. He always seemed angry, always there to criticize me over the smallest things, was never helpful about it, and it actually got the point where I was afraid of him because of all that. I've been wondering lately if maybe it's come back to me as trauma. I get tired easily even when I haven't done that much. I'm always anxious in some sort of way. I've been dwelling on negative thoughts a lot lately. And I've just been feeling this general sense of emptiness, like nothing I do is worth it.
This was me all through high school and my early years in college, but finding Carl Jung's, Robert Greene's, Friedrich Nietzsche's, and Jordan Peterson's work really helped me become an integrated and more actualized individual and the little Shaman Sister Sin's podcast a more stable identity with purpose. It took years of effort, study, practice, failure, and some heart break, but you can overcome your childhood trauma if you really want to.
I realized that I'm really out of touch with my emotions when my therapist told me that I smile brightly whenever we talk about traumatic incidences. My parents used to threaten to beat me up whenever I showed "negative" emotions like anger or sadness or fear. They rarely actually hit me but I guess at some point I got scared of showing my emotions
@@Psych2go Maybe different types of modern therapies. I think that would a very interesting topic. Especially since I have been trying them out for my Combat related PTSD in therapy.
Being a child of divorced has left me with so much trauma. I've never seen so much violence , manipulation, anger and hate between two people. I had a very sad childhood but I am learning in therapy that we do not have to grow up to become our parents or let our childhoods may they be good or bad , be what define us.
I relate to every single one but idk if I suffered from trauma so I’m gonna tell you how it was : Generally I had a good childhood, my parents loved me and my brother equally I think and my father had a good job so we weren’t missing everything. But where it starts to get complicated is when we learned that my brother was suffering from retinitis pigmentary which is a degenerative eye disease that leaves the person almost blind at the end, and he is autistic (Asperger). So growing up they took care of him a lot and I felt a little neglected. So I started to subconsciously self harm. I would purposely fall, sprain my ankle or my wrist, or fake an illness so they would notice me, but it never worked because they always knew I was faking it. Then when I was seven my parents divorced because my father cheated on my mother and I was the one who discovered it and told my mom. I don’t remember any of it because my brain chose to forget this event, but I remember seeing my mom totally depressed, swallowing pills every few hours and sleeping all day, but she stayed a good mom. She and my father stayed in good terms but he still wasn’t here and I only saw him one weekend out of two and on the Wednesdays. They took me to a psychiatrist because of my desperate attempts to get attention that i mentioned earlier, but this assh*le only talked to me about my mother or played Uno with me, and took 60€ (I’m from France) from my mom. Then there is the part where my brother, being autistic, didn’t understand how to be a good older brother. He would hit me hard while we were playing and wouldn’t do anything when I was crying, just looked at me with a blank face (inhibiting behavior). I understand that it wasn’t his fault, but he almost killed me at least 3 times, by attempting to drown me , strangling me and threatening me with a knife, so I always felt like he didn’t love me. We rarely hugged or kissed (on the cheek), and we were always fighting with each other, and we sometimes said things that could really hurt, like “I wish you would die” or “I wish you were never born”. It got better as we grew older, but it’s still pretty hard not to being able to get along with your sibling. There is also the fact that while he is 3 years older than me, I am his older sister in every single way. I take care of him, I wake him up, I check on him, I help him do his homework, I cook for him, at school I also help him, etc etc. He also is very depressed and I’m the one who had to talk him out of killing himself 3 times. And I can’t keep doing this because it’s destroying me, it’s a tidal wave that keeps washing over me, and I know that it’s not my place to do all of that, but if I don’t, who will ? My parents are always working, and they can only handle so much. The problem is that I’m starting to become like him. I consciously destroy my eyes by reading on my phone, and my sight has decreased by 2.5/10, I tend to adopt an autistic attitude, and I’m also very depressed and suicidal (I tried to kill myself two times, but I didn’t succeed and nobody knows about it). I also am diagnosed as a gifted child, I skipped one grade and I could have a second one but my parents didn’t want mw to feel ostracized. But in kindergarten, where my class was learning how to read and count, I was already learning the different forms a sentence can take, and how to conjugate a verb at the imperfect tense (a difficult French tense). And during primary and middle school, the only friends I had were very toxic and constantly criticized me and made me feel like I was nothing, but I continued to be friends with them, because I was very afraid of being alone and I’d take any form of company I could find. And the cherry on the cake is the fact that I’m a lesbian, and my parents are homophobic and transphobic. So yeah I don’t know if any of this could count as a childhood trauma because everyone I know has it worse and I don’t feel like my feelings are valid, maybe I’m just a crybaby who can’t appreciate what life has given her, so please give me your opinion, and don’t be afraid of saying what you really think.
i slowly started to realize this year that i treat my friends like they are my family members, while i had resented my own family members for a while as well. i want anybody that's still young reading this to know that you can do anything you want in this world & to never let anybody rob you of your own gifts and talents.
Hi psych2go! As someone who is receiving CBT, you're helping me a lot to understand myself and to improve myself. The thing is I don't think I am near on being neglected or having childhood trauma but I can relate immensely with numbers 2 to 4. It is true that I always receive, "you're like the mom of the group" this goes both ways back in my home country and while I'm here studying overseas. So I guess that shows even in different context I emulate such Vibes and behavior. I really don't mind this having as a statement said to me because sometimes I feel like it's a compliment. Especially when everyone else is far from their family, I feel glad that I help them with this sense of being home. Now, about helping, yes I am a helper -so damn very well to the point I neglect myself in order to help others even strangers. I always feel like I am responsible for everyone and accountable for them, which makes everyone see me as a great leader! But little do they know it is kinda a toxic trait instead, because I always try to please everyone instead by helping and being cautious with what I do. Finally, I always feel empty which I believed was caused by not having a dream. But since this gave me a new perspective that maybe it is maybe because of how my childhood had been robbed. I feel like I was forced to grow up so easily when I was younger and never really felt what it's like to be child. Even now, I am just trying to survive everyday even though I feel as hollow as an empty shell (deym, I wish I were a shell since some may still find me beautiful).
I’ve discovered some of the funniest, creative and talented people are people that had a messed-up childhood, or didn’t really have one at all. They use humor to ease the pain, (and are damn good at it) and love to express themselves through art, music, writing, etc. If you suffered as a kid, remember: it doesn’t define you. You can do great things despite how you were treated while you were growing up, and there are SO many others just like you who have also suffered. You are not alone, and you are worth a damn. 💜
I'm all of these. My dad (who likely would have been the best dad ever because of how loved and happy he made us feel) died when I was only 5. My mom remarried twice after he died to try and fill the role, and both men were emotionally abusive or neglectful. As a result, I grew up with "daddy issues." I fear intimacy, have social anxiety, and I'm more attracted to men who are or act older than me (I'm a bi male with a preference for guys). It's so complicated, and it's a struggle to live with.
I suffered from domestic violence both verbally and physically for 10 years when I was child. Today, as a young adult I can definitely see these symptoms showing up as a result. It led to cptsd, anxiety and depression. I know that I have to go to therapy but I self-sabotage which prevent me from doing it. I’m not even sure such trauma can be totally cured tbh. It feels like happiness and feeling like a “normal”person will never find me. Thank you for your video ❤️.
All I can really recall from my childhood is my father not wanting to be around my mother and my mother's only answer to dealing with my ADHD was to throw a pill at it. I remember always trying to connect with her, but unless I was doing something she was interested in, the response would always be "how is this going to get you further in life". Even to this day, she views putting me on the pill as "the best thing ever" since it was the first time she said she was able to have a conversation with me. Whereas me, 15years ago I went cold turkey on the pill and it was like a spiritual awakening, seeing the world for the first time and realizing that I don't even recognize who I was before. I try to talk to my mom now and I still can't connect with her. Only way I feel I can describe her emotional involvement in my life is more "Absent" than "Abusive".
When I was a child, as I still am one. I was neglected and surrounded by a negative environment. My mother was an alcoholic since I was about 5. While my father ignored me or neglected me. The max amount of time I'd spend with my dad was around 30 minutes or 2 hours a day. I thought my dad was my hero since he was the one who didn't drink. He seemed like an angel, when he was not. I am a sensitive person so whenever my dad would yell at me I would, well, cry. Then made to feel invalid by him yelling at me more calling me "whiney" or "sensitive". At one point I felt like something was wrong with me. I am very lucky that I was not suicidal, due to fear of pain and death. But if I didn't have those fears I probably would've tried to end my life. There was also a very obvious favortism between him and my brother.
The worse thing ever about childhood trauma is feeling that you are responsible for everyones pains. I really dont want anyone to go through anything worse than what I did. If someone hurts themselves, I have to hurt myself and it HAS to be more painful then whatever they felt, otherwise I've failed in life. The feeling is worse when it's your favourite person. I really hope someone feels the same, I feel so alone with it.
I get the same. I had a horrible boss and than I got a coworker which I hated but my boss abused him so I had to interfere. Lol. Nearly broke me. I'm so glad we have social distancing now.
I spent most of my childhood witnessing my mother's downward spiral with bipolar disorder. There was a cycle of good times, deteriorating mental state, attempted suicide, getting sent to the ward and not seeing her for a long time and eventually her coming back home - just to wait when it all happens again. It all ended her finally managing taking her own life by throwing herself under a freight train. I've never took a long-term therapy because of this, but my guess is that I still entirely avoid intimate relationships because deep down I believe that suffering from the loneliness is lesser evil, compared to the closest person just disappearing when you need her the most.
Growing up, I was the 'confidant'. My mom, dad, and brothers would come to me and tell me about their problems. I found out about financial issues from my mom, dark secrets in the family from my dad, and had to give lots of emotional support for my brothers. I even had to be the adult and teach my littlest brother some VERY important information he would need in life, as my parents never did it with him. So, I guess I developed the 'helper' role because it was the way to keep the family together and "functional" when we were at some of our worst in my teens.
I wasn't "hurt" in my childhood, but.. There happened one thing, that totally changed everything.. I was after that diagnosed as person, who overcomes his IQ to get through hard situations. That basically means that, i mentaly grew to be older, then i really am. On one side it was good feeling, but on the other side.. I felt, no, i knew that i am different then others, and since that i have it hard to communicate or even get along with other people. And now when i am almost 18, i feel and even see on myself that.. I am basically just.. Not ready for the real world of adults. I think you can explain it by that. "i want to have my childhood, but since it basically ended for me too early, and i because of that basically didn't had any. I am trying to make it now, over again." But.. I suppose i just cannot move on from the past..
Relatable to a tee. All of it. I haven't been able to cry and know that I am/was sad for 3 1/2 years now.... I told a close friend about it, and we're both trying to help each other
Ohhh this hits hard. Not only my childhood, my teens and 20's. I was actually instructed not to flirt, my family shit talked my cousin for having boyfriends. I wanted to be the good girl that was clean, so I stayed alone. Once i reached adulthood, I didn't know how to break out of my isolation
Ya Know what… Sometimes I’m afraid to click on these videos because they really hit home,and I don’t like that.But I still watch because I need to know and understand what’s going on within me.It took me a few days to click on this video because I didn’t wanna know at that time,but I was still curious.But great video to all the peoples involved in making it.Amanda,keep up the good work,we humans need channels like this to be heathy mentally
I'm only 11 and I check in all of those ESPECIALLY the one about the joking around thing. I always thought of it as a crappy coping mechanism for being neglected by my parents but now I know that it's more than just jokes about my crappy life at home. I definitely feel the emptiness in my chest too sometimes even my whole torso. I always knew from the comments from the adults around me that I was "an old soul" (their way of saying I'm mature) but I didn't know it was because of my childhood never really happening. Thank you for the video though! It was nice and I hope you continue posting the content you do!
The voice makes me feel comfortable, as growing up, all I have heard were screams and yells from people around me. Till the point that I could cry sometimes
Oof this hits home, lots of things to connect with. Thanks for making this video Psych2Go. It’s very appropriate to my experience and journey. A video idea I think might help or would like to know more on, I lost my mom at 12 and my dad at 23, I will be 30 next month. I guess I wondered about bereavement especially in children and or young adults, especially when there was not room to feel the emotions and other effects from it.
Through therapy I learned my childhood wasn't robbed as much as it was taken out back on the first day behind the shed and buried in an unmarked grave I have yet to find. Good stuff.
Is “forgetting” a symptom..? I hardly remember anything except a few memories from my childhood. People always ask “don’t you remember [insert name of old friend here]?!” And I just don’t. Same with events. I just feel bad every time I can’t remember.
Yes, the same thing happens to me too, maybe the brain just wanted to protect us from bad memories so it denied the memories from going into our memories
Same with me. I cant remember most of my childhood, but whenever my older brothers bring up something traumatic that had happened I never seem to remember it at all. I think what happens is we go through a single or series of traumatic events that your brain just wipes your memories clean, of both the bad and good memories, to help stable your mind.
I was bullied heavily for years as a little kid, and everyone I trusted just said “ignore them and they’ll go away” every time I tried I just couldn’t muster up anything. The bathroom became my second home, I hid in there daily to avoid getting bullied and the school didn’t do anything either, the kid never got in trouble and eventually transferred to another school because of learning problems. He is one of the people I genuinely despise, he ruined my entire school life and I’m only now getting the help I need. I finally made friends, ones that I truly would do anything for, I don’t know what I would do without them and I hope I never lose them.
My bad experience on my home is with my siblings, we always say "Die" or "Do you wanna die". It a bit toxic for our relationship. But we just find it funny saying to eachother "die", and we made it a daily habit. And I always feel empty, I feel like anytime I play or talk to someone, I feel empty and I don't feel anything. My dad and mom's words sometimes hurt us, they think words like "you guys are useless" or "why don't you have common sense?" Or even "why are you stupid?" Do they think that wont affect ourself?.. I can see myself just acting positive whenever my parents are always mad, I try to make my siblings happy. Whenever they tell us that, I always think that we are stupid and useless, that we don't use our brains.
How you exactly know what im going through 😭😭 i felt myself nobody like to be with me 😭😭they see me as im like from another planet. Your the god friend amanda ..i will not forget
the empty/emotional neglect was very relatable I’ve always felt empty. I’ve often been described by my mother as emotionless or un-empathetic. Ever since I was 6 I decided “I don’t need emotions” because they made me feel weak everytime I got yelled at by my mother. Eventually I felt just like a shell but even after that I am still angry but I’m just missing something. I’ve dealt with it my whole life and I can’t say that I’m happy but I’m not overcome with emptiness and anger everyday it’s just a part of me that’s been haunting me forever.
somewhat same thing happened with me mate, my mother was very harsh on me, always told me I was very selfish amongst my sibling she also convinced that to everyone in the house, growing up I just started to believe that I'm selfish and questioned if I deserved it for everything I was getting. we never had a good realtionship because she never tried to understand me, talk to me. its been two years im away from home but she rarely calls to ask how im doing or what's going in my life, what kills me the most is she till date doesn't care to build a relationship with me, my childhood trauma never healed but it continues
Wow the day I’ve just unpacked all my traumas with my psychiatrist and got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder this gets uploaded haha! Everything checks out indeed 😅
this channel is both informative and comforting, the good kind of comfort. I feel validated in my experiences and that what I experience isn't "worse" nor "better" than others. Its just...my experiences, and everyones experience is all valid. Even my own, even though they call it "insignificant" and "other have it worse, be grateful." Love also that this is my soft sound therapy and helps me in getting to know myself deeply. Thanks, Psych2go!
There were a lot of things I found out we're not normal in my childhood after I became an adult one was families actually interact with each other. Another one was dinner isn't made at 11 and then told it's you lunch and dinner if there is any left. On that note I never knew dinner had an actual time my family just ate because no one wanted to cook anything hing else so aye when it was there. Some other things like learning my mom's mental health wasn't normal or my dad's anger issues and verbal abuse isn't healthy. I was 13 not able to understand the problems of those around me because while they were worried about omg my friend did this said this I was literally thinking about if my mom was on a good day with meds or if she was gonna be like a kid to take care of. I was worried about the drama and arguments of my home and how to keep my younger siblings away from it. I at one point had to kick my dad out of the house and I had the cops called on me by my mother when I had my first breakdown I was 15 walking around a shady neighborhood at 4am crying in the rain. Cops found me and then said "if it's that bad get a job and leave then"
@@Psych2go how about seeing your friends who are younger than you as siblings ? I’m the youngest of 6 ( including myself in the number ) so growing up I’ve always wanted a younger sibling someone to mentor and be a role model to also someone to play with .
i grew up not remembering anything about my childhood , i had to grew up so fast and while that i’m the helper and the parent even to my parents i always felt that i must make sure everyone’s around me is happy and in a good mood … a lot of talk bottle up in my chest don’t know how to put it in worlds
I realized I might have suffered childhood trauma when I found myself the happiest I've ever been at 19 years old. If there's one thing I would say to all the parents, it would be that NEVER choose a favorite child. If you're not able to love and support all your children equally, you just shouldn't have that many kids.
Me to a T!! I pretty much lived a sheltered life, only having anything resembling social interaction at school and at family get-togethers. I was never allowed to go to friends' birthday parties or have friends over till I was in 7th Grade. And they all wonder why I am still an awkwardly quiet person today
I don’t want to get into relationships because of how many times I have had to comfort my mother for all of her break ups, and I just don’t trust anyone.
I had experienced childhood trauma and verbal abuse. The verbal abuse occurred plenty during my teen years. I also became diagnosed with Aspergers at 12 back in 1999 and not told about my condition until I was 17. I have had loads of struggles all of my life. I also have been working on overcoming my past and for me wearing diapers has been an amazing tool for an assist in letting go of the past. Before you comment and likely judge. Be sure you're willing to understand that people who have been through childhood trauma and a life of hardships isn't easy. I've dealt with that my entire life. Plus recently I've arrived at the realization that my mom was being controlling of me during my childhood years.
When I was a kid, I was always the one who talked constantly and even called "Talking like a radio" by a relative who was dressed up as Santa on Christmas Eve and it became a famous quote within the WHOLE family... I learned to live with it. In class, I was able to sit still, but never able to keep concentration for more than a couple of seconds at a time thus reverted to talking with friends. I was talking in school too. I hit 4th grade and the short, talking boy wasn't cool to be around anymore, thus he gets pushed out of the larger group of friends within which my best friend was always welcome. At this point, I remember that I looked for every opportunity to be noticed, to be able to hang out with someone, so I did a bunch of weird shit to get attention... (I think?) I hit 7th grade and I really am among the least favored for unknown reasons and I start to get verbally and physically abused in school. I usually got by through doing what many young people do; play computer games. Like, all the time. Because within the game, they're included and welcome. In my case, it was World of Warcraft. Grades are only done because they have to be done. School was never really interesting until this point because of these reasons. I hit senior high and people seem to accept me, but besides my very best friend, it was all at an arms length. When it was time to finally hit university/higher education, I had no idea what I wanted to be. I knew that I wanted to learn more, so I continue on my IT/DATA journey. I try computer science - programming for games which sounded awesome, but this overwhelmed me instantly since I wasn't a real coding nerd. I knew how to use a computer, but I had virtually no idea how to do 'programming'. I was defeated. Then I realize - I do like computer games, so maybe the Game Design class is worth a try! It was better... for a while. For many reasons, but the biggest one being that I just wasn't ready for this kind of education yet, I quit after a year still feeling lost and a lack of motivation. I start to work full time (employed as part-time employee) while I figure out what the heck I want to do in life. At some point, I came across studying abroad. This didn't only sound good because it was Japanese, but I now know it was because it was "not here". 10 years later, I finally figure out that my racing thoughts, eagerness to talk etc. that I have had my whole life is because of a condition called ADD. I take medication and was finally able to keep concentration for much longer. Then, I start to learn more on a daily basis about mental health, including on this channel (obviously ;-)). I stumble upon this video and check every box... Thinking back .... yeah .... I got some stuff to deal with. I had no idea :-/
If you want to know more about your ADHD, there's a channel here on UA-cam called "How to ADHD". It has great advice and educational videos on what ADHD is, ways to help manage it, how it affects people, and all kinds of other great stuff! I think you'd like it. It's helped me learn to live with and manage my ADHD. Maybe you'll find something that could help you too.
When I was little my parents would go to work and leave me with my grandma (father's side of family) and she would tell me that SHE gave birth to me, and not my mother. She would tell me that my mom and her side of the family are evil and I should be praying to god to keep me safe from their bad mojo when I'm around them. Lovely woman really 🙂
What a coincidence today I discussed my childhoodtrauma with my therapist. When I was a child I was paralyzed and I couldn't speak for quite some time, I cried a lot to show my frustation not beeing able to speak. Nowadays as an adult I get quickly emotional and start quiet easily crying, especially when I have to set boundaries. My therapist explained to me that there mostliky is a disconection between my emotional side and reasoning: I don't have trouble understand reasoning but the emotions take over more often then not. I hope beeing aware of that will help me set boundaries more easily in the future.
I'm not watching this for me but for my girlfriend. She had to help her family after a couple of incidents at a very young age and I really want to be there for her and help her. Help her with work, studies and stuff at home. She's the most genuine person on earth and I want to give her all the love I can.
Omg... I realized that i've been feeling like this all my life...that is mind blowing for me to think that some people may not feel this way with social interactions...and that it is actually, not normal.
I was bullied terribly until 12th grade. From 8th grade until I went away to college, my father beat me several times per week. I was later diagnosed w A.D.D., Asbergers Syndrome and PTSD. I am good at making friends but poor at maintaining friendships. I write books and rap music and I am a long-distance runner. I just turned 50 this year and have way too much to still figure out at my age. I got married last August and my wife is a type A personality. She has a hard time understanding why I get little done outside of my job and running. I have a 7 year old and 9 year old daughters who I adore and want to be closer to but I am often distracted by depression, low-self esteem and a million other things. Just functioning is really difficult. I am ready to thrive now. I just don't know how to not be overwhelmed so easily and often. Yet, "functioning" is no longer enough. It's hard not to be resentful that my childhood was stolen from me. I am optimistic and smile daily. Yet, I am a serious underachiever and am determined to change this as well as have better and closer relationships w both friends and family.
Thank you for all the support over the years. We get many emails each day and read some really touching and sad stories. This is a topic that we feel is dear to us. And we hope that can help raise awareness for those who may have experienced any of these signs. Do help us share this video as well if you can! Thanks!
Hii
Hi 💕
How to mail u guys?
@@blinkforever_and_ever yeah I want to know to
does being beaten with a branch of a tree for having dysgraphia count as being traumatized?
When you're in childhood, you feel normal however you're treated. When you explore other's childhood then you understand what you've been through!
This is what happened to me and I feel so unlucky
Do you feel that we learn best from observing and understanding others?
@@Psych2go well yeah more I observe others more i get to know about the possibilities of how a child can be treated. Not just about childhood but even when you're a teen you can be treated different from others, even different from your own siblings
@@nightcoreeeeeeee its not the end bro. Mindfulness can change your life.
@@aimane3375 what end??
1)you completely avoid intimate relationships
2)you have taken over the role of "helper"
3)you appear happy on the outside even when you're sad
4)you often feel EMPTY
5)you can't relate to those around you
Me too a tee
I can for sure relate to 3 out of the 5. I need to listen to # 1 again. I could be doing that without realizing it...I don't completely avoid intimate relationships. I only let them go to a certain extent and I don't like that. I wish there was a little more detail about the 2nd one.
All 5,especially 4 & 5
Why are this videos always describing me... 😑
@@Caramel1806 oh man, I'm all of those, I'm holding out for therapy
Let's see how that pans out
We can't deny the fact that childhood traumas hit different. It will literally scar you for life. It's sad how a lot of children are made to experience something they're not supposed to experience.
A lot of adults in this world are just plain unfit to be parents. They don’t have the mental, emotional or financial capabilities to raise a child to be a functioning member of society. But won’t stop men from spreading their seed because of their “legacy” or women from having babies out of wedlock because they want to “experience” motherhood or not be lonely.
Nobody ever thinks from the perspective of the child, whom never once asked to be created, but are often born into horrible livelihoods. This is why I can never blame poorly raised or behaving children. It’s the parent’s fault they are that way.
That’s why suicide is the best revenge… make sure to make the parents life living hell and then boom now they only have guilt until they die
@@FINETUNEDGAMING I totally agree with that. A lot of people nowadays just wanted to have the baby out of curiosity or for whatever reasons that they may have without even planning ahead of what will happen after the baby is born and when the baby grows. I mean there's nothing wrong with having a child as long as you are capable and you take every responsibility to raise the child the way he/she deserves.
I know there are people that will say that we shouldn't put all the blame to the parents but like what they say "It all starts in the family".
@@ishikawa1338 Suicide should not be an option, it should never be. The best revenge is to continue life and make them realize their mistakes.
My parents fought all the time and my dad is dead
Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve been mistreated until you hear how other people experienced their childhood and notice that most people haven’t gone through what you have. It’s sad how many people relate to this video 🥺
I do too. I experienced childhood trauma and verbal abuse. Couple that with having a controlling mother.
I also found out at 17 that I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I had gone to see a psychologist but never asked why. I have been judged in elementary and middle school for being socially different than others. These days I smoke weed and wear diapers after work. Judge me if you want. But first try walking a mile in my shoes. My life hasn't been any bit easy it's been nothing but loads of struggles since early childhood.
@@AspieGamer1986 What must be borne in mind if someone attempts to strike a blow on you with judgment, is that their verdict about your identity or your personality or your conduct will inevitably be a meaningless jumble of empty words and lies, hence you must not take it to your heart nor deem these words as the truth. The only authority figure that has jurisdiction over you along with the rights to judge you is nobody else, but God, for His judgment is flawless and of irrefutable perfection.
*Matthew 7:1-6*
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
As unfortunate as trauma can be, it's helpful that many people can relate. More hands to reach out and hold onto when we think we're alone
@@trevmorin agreed and that's why I mentioned a few details about myself. Not everything but some details.
I’m dealing with my “stolen childhood” since 2002, with a therapist. No one can understand what is it, only if you had the same trauma. My parents, they’re way to be away from my emotions, made me the way I am, I was just a child needing connection with my feelings. I grow up in a violent house, never was a home. I write songs to make people laugh and feel good but now, in Brazil is 5am, and I’m thinking about my childhood and how wrong was everything. I miss real emotions, I miss something that I don’t even know what is, I miss me, I don’t feel at all, or my brain just lock my feelings for everyone and everything, afraid of being sad again. If you’re a parent and you’re reading this! GO TALK WITH YOUR SONS, ASK THEM HOW THEY FEEL and even if they say IM OK keep watching, closely everyday.
I miss something and I always will miss something, I will never get “cured” because, I repeat, I was just a child….that’s not fair, now I’m a grown man, 37, still missing something, still missing happiness, connection and smiling and making people feel comfortable, because I project what I didn’t receive, if you’re reading this, I hope it makes you think about your life.
Be safe
@wesjfaria
Oh, what a beautiful explanation 👏. I understand how you feel. No matter how we scape from our past, it'll still follow us. I wasn't aware before that when I made decisions were based on my past and everything was wrong. Our caregivers from childhood ruin our cognitive decision making. I am writing a book how to deal with trauma every day because I found a way...
Hope you are okay 👍...you are not alone ❤️
Hi, I'm Brazilian too 🌻
Sinto muito pela sua infância :(
A minha também doeu muito e deixou marcas que estão doendo agora mesmo. Continue forte🌻
you're fine now. you'll be okay. 😢
i'm on your side
I can never relate but i wish you can find your own happiness. Its sad because to break the cycle of childhood trauma is to make sure no other children would live the same days as our childhood life.
Sending you love & light. The journey NEVER ends and you have the gift of self accountability. You did that. No one else. You’re never too late. You’re right on time. Praying 🙏🏽🤍
This helps me realize that childhood is the most crucial and critical time of our lives and if the needs of a child are neglected then it will have a long term impact on their future life which is.... Irreparable
Childhood trauma has been a part of my life. Add in verbal abuse and a controlling mother in some way and you'd understand why I smoke weed and wear diapers after work.
Judge me but before you do, understand that I have had a lot to overcome in my life and then add on to that finding out you've been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome at 17. I remember going to see a psychologist 5 years earlier but was never told why.
@{°Heartspell°} Just know that people do care about you other than your grades or what you can do
@@AspieGamer1986 Understandable but I feel you might need therapy if anything is hurting
It can be repaired it’s just really hard bruh
It's called childhood trauma but it never really leaves. So hard to heal from what you go through as a child and the way it shapes our personalities afterwards. Like my parents told me I was weak I'd suck at sports and I repeated the same narrative to myself for years, and obviously was never above average at any sport. I'm trying to break these narratives right now and so much power to anyone who's doing the same ❤️
Sending kisses to your wounded heart... please accept them🦋❤️
I too was told im a good for nothing idiot Just because i did not do something Perfect ! My God i was a dang kid and they kept at it into my 19th year then i told pops FU and your house im out. But as the world turned i did great at my first adult job at the local steel mill , but got into the fast life in Norwalk ca. too many girls booze and weed , yup went trhu my 20s so fast then 30 going on 18 baby came :) turns out i was a Great Father to my Daughter and step son :) i turned into a workaholic and provided for them . Now 39 years forward im living with my best friend a woman and she has helped me see im not a loser , its by the Grace of God that i didn't turn out to be a serial killer or rapist , as a child i seen what NO child should see Yup mom with a Man :( . I love my pops even tho he was ruff on me but mom i only love her because Giod tells me to love her, i dont like her and dont talk with her anymors , she such a bad Narcicistic person !! At least i know its not my fault how i can relate so much to the song , Yesterday by Roy Clark ! i reckon i hated woman / mom !
You can heal nobody tell you how there interested in quick fixes people put bandage over it not heal it
Yes, and thank you for powerfully sharing your story with everyone. This keeps the community feeling inspired and hopeful for those who are going through similar events. I love how you recognize it's the narrative that could be changed..
@@albertchavez2693 Omg! That must be really hard for you. 😰 I hope you're doing well now, and it's good you keep reminding yourself that it wasn't your fault. Never give up on that. There are many good people out there but they're just hard to get sometimes. Your best friend sounds amazing. Take care.
Dealing with my own traumas I can say it may have taken a lot. However, it has given me a dark, twisted sense of humor and an outlook or perspective on life most don’t see. Find your reason to be!
Yes, sometimes we turn our worse experiences into something positive that could potentially uplift the world. Dark humor is still humor!
Cool. Good Comment!
Try dropping a joke! Let’s see if I can get it 😃
@@shacheeparashurami9981 My husband was at his hottest at his death. Took dying to get him THAT hot.
@@shacheeparashurami9981
Sadly, my husband was never as hot alive as he was dead. Cremation really turns up the heat factor. Told you, dark / twisted. 😂
I love how this Chanel opens up a chance to discuss these things, explain them and it acknowledges that this isn't a definite diagnosis and professional help is available ❤️
For sure! It's important to know when to seek professional help and not to self diagnosed, but still enough to know when you should seek help. Thanks!
Channel
Where I live I seeked professional help for my childhood. The professionals where only interested in my everyday issues such as an ocational bad day at work. Eventually the professionals told me I can't be helped and I am on my own.
Still dealing with the traumas I endured as a child. 💔
What are some of the signs you have been noticing still if you don't mind sharing them with the community.
same
@@Psych2go Currently, everything listed in the video. In addition, abandonment issues, hyper vigilance, anxiety, depression, self harm. This stems from my conception, being an unwanted child, an illegal adoption, childhood sexual abuse by my adoptive father. The isolation has been & is terrible. But I’m still here, still trying, still hoping…for healing.
@@qxotic1 hey can we friends ?
Same
The worst part is it truly is our parents and family that took it away and many gaslight you into feeling it never happened. The people that are meant to protect and love us unconditionally, and it's primarily to their mental illnesses and abuse cycles. These uploads have been resonating with my life and current struggle with familial trauma and it feels so much less lonely, yet unfortunate that so many others have been through the same.
This video is literally how I feel. Im literally the therapist of the friend group. Not that I hate helping my friends, it's just I need someone who I can lie down and cuddle up to. I have experienced heavy shit over the years and I had to grow up quickly.
I feel like that has been happening to me too
I can connect aswell. Looking back I see while helping others i didn't attend to myself.
Yeah I am like that too@@turtlewiththreefeetproudof507
@@aaronreau8556 🫂
I'm known as mom by my friends yet have no kids
and like you said I love helping them and seeing them happy but sometimes I want to be vulnerable even when I physically can't
I do notice I use the phrase “I don’t know” a lot, especially when I’m getting to close to something that hurts or when I’m to scared to tell what I’m feeling… I have wholes in my memory about my childhood or there isn’t really much of one that I can remember and I’m 32 so maybe there was some trauma somewhere
If you have enough money, I recommend EMDR to get your memories back (if you want them back, to deal with them and eventually start to heal)
Personally im only 17 and have about 7-8 years of my life just.. forgotten. Thats a lot for someone my age and I wish I could do EMDR because it’s success rates are super high.
But instead, i’ll recommend it to you! Even if you cant, im sure some kind of therapy would help with that too. EMDR is just mainly focused on memory.
@@Corpsee. I’m also 17 and most of my single digits ages up until 11 or 12, I can’t remember much
Thank you for sharing this. Sending love and support to you
As a child, i was always left out, lonely and i just have bad memories about it now. I am childish in my 12s because i'm re-doing my childhood and i don't care if it's too late.
Childish in your twelves? What does that even mean???
@@debkski6084 act younger than his/her original age 😅
A 12yo boy/girl act like a 6 or 7yo
Isn’t 12 a kid still.
It's not too late for you at all! 💗 I hope you find the answers (as well as feelings & positive bonds) that you're looking for.
baby you are still a child. wish I had this level of awareness when I was 12. wishing you all the best energies in this world. take care
My childhood was stolen too.. When I entered my teenage years I was such a quiet kid who is very introverted, I even kinda get emotional whenever people try to mention it in a harsh way so I decided to change myself into a better and good version and become stronger with an outgoing personality.. now I'm the version I wanted to be.. I didn't escape from the reality but instead I changed into a happy self
Can you write a tutorial I think I'm gonna need it :'D
Jk and happy everything turned out well
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
That's nice
I was taken away from my mom when I was 9 years old from an honest mistake. We were placed with my brothers father where I was abused for little things. The conditions he had us living in was terrible, we lived in an abandoned house with no water and used to have to steal water from the neighbors. Sometimes we didn't take showers or eat. He sent me to school bleeding from abuse and my friend spoke up for me. Next we get sent to our aunt and uncles house, it finally seemed like everything was finally going right but I was wrong. My aunt and uncle had never been In our lives before then and they also didn't like my mother. So one day we got home and he forced us to say that we were sexually abused by all of the parents, if we spoke against it we would get beaten. After all the embarrassing doctor visits and seeing the counselor everyday I had finally spoke up and said it was all a lie. By this time I noticed my mom didn't want us back nor did she seek parenting classes even though her and her new husband were doing great for themselves. Me my brothers and sister were now split up and I went to a foster home. Again everything seemed to be going OK until the woman got drunk one day and I got pushed into a closet and then moved her off of me, she proceeded to call the police and tell them that everything was my fault and then I was sent to a group home. For the first time I had to fight almost every other day 😒. I've left out plenty of things in my story and have much more from the following years. All my life I was waiting for things to get better buy it got worse. Felt like a dark rain cloud followed me everywhere I went. I wanted intimacy but I always feared they were going to abandoned me. I never fit in with the crowd and missed out on essential things in high school. I stay to myself and push people away and I have gotten my life together as of now. I'm a home owner with a few cars and family, but there's things that they don't understand about my and I have the slightest idea on how to be family oriented so it leads to arguments with my fiance. She tells me that I'm not that affectionate, I don't laugh and joke or play around, I'm always serious and guarded. I never smile I always look sad even when I'm not 😒
It feels good to tell my story and I'm thinking about writing a book about my life, I've heard it helps with healing, thanks for reading
Thanks for sharing. Write that book!! 🙏
@@august1095 will do thanks 😊
@@marquiswilliams6251 I've had a life of hard knocks myself so hearing other people's stories helps me to understand that I'm not alone. Hearing your story touched me because I can relate to it. I felt cursed my whole life. So Thank you again for sharing...I know it's not easy to do so. I do believe telling your story will help you heal. 🙏
I’m sorry. My story is similar! I’m also doing good with a family and “normal life” but I always feel like something is missing. My wife says the same things about me. Keep strong brother!
Drowned waterboarding style, beaten in the back of the head and face daily. Berated verbally everyday. And this was as a child, I had no childhood. My father is a sadistic abusive monster , no repentance and no regret for everything he did to me over the years. No apology, God will judge him in the end. Took me years to process my trauma nightmares of drowning and beating every night till I fully remember everything. The impact and effect it had on me growing up I don't even want to start
What he took from me I will never get back but an apology would be the least he could do for everything he did
Yeah that's very serious. That's torture. I don't know how to deal with it since I lived less, mostly verbal abuse and sometimes physical. I guess being aware is already a lot step to get better! Then trying to rebuild ourselves with positive people or at least not toxic. And also accepting that we will never know a normal life, with our own family and all. Accepting to be alone can be a good thing I guess. Accepting that our father has been a bast*** and forgetting him. To say that some people have experienced worst...
you're fine now. you're strong and deserve to be loved 😢
I’m so sorry that happened to you, made me cry. I hope you’ll have all the love and happiness this world has to offer.🌻🙏🥺🥹❤️
Jesus Christ, did your dad worked at Guantanamo Bay or something?
I always thought my childhood was robbed, easily brushing it off as “every one has a bad childhood” now i know my childhood was robbed =D
I felt this wayyy too hard. On top of having a very messed up family dynamic at home, I basically lived at the hospital. I was always in some sort of doctor's office or ER or hospital room, ever since I was around 4. The majority of my life, I had no friends. I'm homeschooled so the only opportunity I had to make friends was at church and all the kids my age there hated me for some reason and often made fun of me or ignored me completely. I was completely isolated. Not even my close family would visit me in thd hospital. I'd wait for hours for somebody to visit and nobody ever came. The only time anyone besides my immediate family even acknowledged me was whenever I had a big surgery coming up and they were scared I'd die on the operating table. I was put into therapy for severe medical trauma and anxiety, to then be diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, ADHD, and had really really bad anxiety. I was 6. I feel like I basically had no childhood even though my parents did everything they could to make it as normal is it could be. I mean heck, I was a 6 year old girl who'd just gotten diagnosed with 5 Mental Illnesses and then a year later I had a tube placed into my stomach for medicine to go through. Fast-forward to about age 12 and I had another medical device placed to help with some nerves that don't function right. And now, I'm almost 15 and we go to pick up my CPAP machine on Thursday. I feel like my life is going so wrong. Everywhere I look, there's a new metal or physical illness. I try to push it away and just avoid thinking about the fact that I'm not even 15 and my body is declining so rapidly in so many ways compared to everyone else my age. Like with the tube and nerve stimulator device they're harder to see and easy to hide, to forget about, considering one is literally implanted under my skin so I can't even see it. But a CPAP machine means a constant reminder that im extremely sick and I might not ever get better. I wish I could just have been a child, and I wish that now I could just be a normal teenager. I was forced to grow up too early and now I'm attempting to step into roles that im not ready to handle because I don't know where else to go from here. It sucks.
Sorry you're going through so much, so young :( When I was 6 my dad got leukaemia so we were always in and out of hospitals for 3years. I basically became the mum at home, took over the chores while being emotionally neglected by my mum and bullied & beaten up by my sister. Thanks to this trauma I was denied a formal autism diagnosis. I'm glad you got your MH diagnoses to help you work through your issues, and hope you get used to the CPAP machine soon, and that it helps you feel better 🙏 Finding the right therapist and type of therapy for you is key - I hope you find someone to help you heal emotionally from the awful issues you've had to endure 💗
Babe I’m so sorry that you felt like no one cared to visit you. I can’t relate to your medical illnesses but I got bullied a lot as a kid and my family would get mad at me instead of doing something to help. I felt like I didn’t have a place anywhere. I felt that I didn’t have worth in anyones eyes.
In these situations, it’s easy to feel hopeless and to just wish for any sense of normalcy. I like to believe that god/the universe whatever you believe in does their best to protect us. We have unfortunate situations where we get hurt, sick, bullied cursed at. However, I don’t think that that is their will. I think that there might’ve been worse in store for us, but those forces protect us. We just don’t know it because it never happened.
There’s many times where it’s hard to see all the good things in your life but hope is learning how to be grateful for our life, which is our present, and the opportunity to use our past to change the future.
I hope you won’t view yourself or your story as odd while wishing for someone else’s life, but see your life as your own, separate and unique from others.
You don’t have to live a normal life for it to have value, or for you to find happiness. There’s beauty in sadness and we find ways to mix the good and bad in life to make a giant mural. I cry when I look at my mural from gratitude that I’ve come this far. I hope you can find a way to see yours in a positive way someday too. Wishing you health and happiness. Sorry if my comment is rambley/doesn’t make sense. English isn’t my first language.
I relate to your medical and mental issues. But I made it to 36 with a CPAP machine and I have a child and husband. Serially be as well as you can, and if you are meant to be abc then you will become that just as fate/God/karma intends
Oh boy... Must be hard to live like that. Hope you'll make it.
@@abigailgonzalez6078 very well phrased!! Exactly that; we have to be grateful for the good things and maybe learn some tough lessons from bad things that happen. I might not have met my husband if I had lived my life differently, for example. Like that poem "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood..." - we could mourn the road we didn't take OR enjoy the journey we are on instead.
I was neglected of interaction because my parents were extremely strict (which prevented me from going to social events), having a heart disease (which prevented me from entering sports and play physical stuff), and had a "school shock" that questioned my existence back in the 8th grade. This, this video. This video hit hard for me. Thanks for sharing another video. Would probably help me out with my current journey for character development.
Their voice in these videos is more than enough to comfort most days. More people need to learn this kind of soft speak.
Whatever any of you are going through, stay strong. You will get through it and come out on the other side stronger than you can imagine.
Nah I don't think I will but thanks
Unfortunately, I do not believe I am tenacious enough to endure my miserable fate of living like the average person (╯︵╰,)
No one with a sound mind who uses rationality to calculate what steps to take and what decisions to make in life would desire to be like me, unless they are an enthusiastic masochist who searches for affliction or someone who wants to experience a life of surreal absurdity, viz. for experimental purposes, or just a mindless madman who unironically thinks that it is actually a good idea: only these could adjust to the conditions of this gloomy swamp of Dadaism and find the warmth to call it home.
@@solonada9602 Nobody has to live average. It just comes down to what you believe your'e capable of. The mind is a powerful thing and will sometimes try to screw with you but if you look at what you really want out of life and who you want to become. You can take the necessary steps to get there. I don't know your situation at all so I don't want to overstep but I know that you don't have to live like the average person. You can change your life and your beliefs and therefore change your fate to what you really want.
@@mindscopechannel The truth that I was designed to be and that I am indeed a legitimate average person has stayed unveiled and visible to the eye ever since the very beginning of my existence, however what made me cease to recognize my true purpose in life was my desperate endeavor to conceal my own inherent design by masquerading as someone of a higher status in the most pretentious fashion. What I was unaware of is that my decision to deem myself as someone I am not was a big mistake, and even a bigger mistake was that I incessantly kept neglecting my authenticity in favor of the contrived identity I had fabricated in order to escape from the bitter truth of reality which hitherto I had not been able to acknowledge at that time, and it all consequently backfired upon realizing that it indeed is impossible to feel real comfort and peace when you have betrayed your own authentic character.
@@solonada9602 You need to change your perspective. If you believe all youll be is average than of course your'e going to do things that will get you there. But if you believe that you can be above average and live an above average life than youll start doing the things to get there. Your'e in control of your actions. Theres always gonna be people who have come from worse than you and who looked to be the most average of the average but actively changed and turned their lives and themselves into some of the most above average out there.
I got adult trauma stacked on top of my childhood trauma. Hard to heal and be healthy when new trauma is always happening.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
Oh buddy 😢
I dealt with childhood trauma for years.
?
I'm sorry
seven days ago…?
Huh? It shows u commented this 7 days ago??? This video was posted 1 min ago 😀
Seven days ago?
I'm a guy and was sexually assaulted when I was a toddler(5yrs old maybe) and neglected n beaten around 10 yrs old. These videos are excellent and are bang on. I'm now an adult and have been battling demons...I'm tired of fighting, trying to get help but I just seem to self destruct instead. Want help but just can't do it and I'm ashamed of what I've become.💔
Mine has been… Tough.
It’s funny how easy it is for it to jump out when you feel happy: you can switch like a bulb exploding in a dark basement.
For the most part I am able to get on with, but I’m really sorry for people actively struggling with it.
Let’s be better people, so that no one has to experience it anymore.
Happy to hear you are happy . 🙂
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
@@Psych2go thank you for your words.
The whole point of making mental awareness bite sized is a precious thing and a noble purpose: since mental health, couple dynamics and relationships are something many struggle with, your videos are unbelievably effective for people that may not know how to recognize and deal with various situations.
I had to figure stuff on my own and I’ve been lucky to not lose myself along the way, but this kind of content can make the difference.
Continua così, tanto amore dall’Italia 🇮🇹
When i se How my husband treats his children… I’m shocked and amazed ! I never got that as a child.. so much love, support and even hobbies ???
And YES I’m definitely te helper 🥺😞
I might have first had a glimpse of my childhood being different when my classmates said they wanted their childhood back and I said I can’t wait to move out of my parents house. Got a long way to go but it’s fine I’m not subjected to the constant abuse and narcissistic behaviour anymore. I resonated with all 5 and the first point stated is why I am so afraid of relationships. Even thinking about someone getting to know me and how they would react to situations, basic hugs scare me.
Channels like this give me hope to live it's a comfort to feel there is people who care and I am not alone in this healing journey 🖤
0:32 "You completely avoid intimate relationships"
1:11 "You have taken over te role of the 'Helper''
1:45 "You appear happy on the outside even when you're sad"
2:15 "You often feel empty"
2:54 "You can't relate to those around you"
Thanks.
The Fact This Is All Me And The Last One Is Just 50/50
These videos showed me how many problems my parents caused for me. Thank you for helping me have better understanding on why I’m so messed up. Thank your from the bottom of my heart
That’s really strange I have to admit I related to everything. I’m a very quiet person now. I’m definitely the clown but a depressed sad boy behind it. I know when I lived with my bio mom up till I was 8 I raised myself, no friends always been lonesome thinking back on it it’s making me feel empty right now
Sorry about this...
I hate it when they say "Life is just unfair, these experiences will make you stronger" I just feel weak and horrible, it's so easy for them to say.
i remember people calling me mature for my age. i never wanted to go play with the other kids my age and instead i just sat with the adults and my friends dad would say “you’re too young to not want to play games.” my therapist once told me that i hide my emotions too much because i was on the verge of tears but still smiling. i may not act like the parent of my friend group at school because we all act the same and they all understand me but when i am out of school and with other people my age i always feel like if something happens to them it’s my fault. like it is my responsibility to keep them safe.
oh remember even when i was i think 10 or 11 i was really struggling with school work and i had really bad depression and anxiety. my mom would just yell at me and i would cry myself to sleep. then the next morning she would apologize and she once told me that feeling upset was normal and feeling like things would be easier if you were just dead was normal. yeah i found out years later that apparently it’s not normal. thanks, mom.
i hope the best for you, take a
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
@@Psych2go thank you!! i have been doing much better now but my mother hasn’t changed much :(
This really resonates with me, but it’s a little different. In these past two years I’ve felt that any time I get upset or angry my mom becomes reserved and acts like I’m acting out. I tell her I’m aloud to have feelings, but it’s more me telling myself that than my mother. I don’t know where it stems from, though. Maybe it’s because for most of 2020 I was numb, not depressed, just numb. I didn’t care if I lived or died and yknow what if I died tomorrow then at least I enjoyed today… that was my motto. When your perspective changes, you used to be afraid of the dark and then you go numb and no longer run up the stairs, and now you’ve gone back to running up the stairs because you want to live, because you are excited for your future away from this wretched place, this wretched state.
The worst part is I didn’t even realize I had a good deal of childhood trauma until these past few months. The worst part is I check all the boxes stated in the video, and I’m not entirely sure when or where it started. I still feel lost, and empty, but I have a goal, and that’s all that has kept me going truthfully. The goal of one day going to college out of this state, away from everyone I don’t want to be around. In the state I want to be in, away from cold weather.
Sorry, went on a rant.
it took me about eight years for me to fully understand what had happened to me as a child and now i cant forget
For me and maybe others. My issues aren’t from my parents. I have a really good relationship with them. However every single friend I’ve ever had, bare with me it sounds dramatic but fr every single one has betrayed me. Lied to me or about me. Some even stole from me. I want more than anything to have real friendships with people I can engage with and feel close to but I’m horrified of what I know will happen again. My only outlet to release the tension is distracting myself or work. Usually distracting myself is my go to. And I’ve begun to blame myself for where I’m at even though I know that none of it was my fault. And so I have no one to turn to about what I’m really going through because who wants to share this intimate emotional pain with their family? This is something to spill to your friends about and talk with. I don’t want to burden family because they’ll just try and help me out of it and all I want is someone to tell me that I’m not the monster for wanting something real for myself.
I had the same experience,i always hear childhood trauma is connected to having issues with the caregivers but for me it was always been the social environment,the school atmosphere,so i agree with you and relate to what you've said,
And also i hope you're doing good and started to slowly love yourself :)
In the end, everyone will leave you to save themselves. You cannot trust anyone and that is our reality, we are ignorant foolish beings with ones purpose never really fulfilled. Life is just a roller coaster full of horrors and makes us not want to ride it again. You will probably disagree and ignore me but in some time, you will have to consider this fact.
It’s hard to find trustworthy people. Very hard. I find a key is starting small with tight boundaries. Don’t give anyone the chance to steal from you. Don’t invite them over. Have valuables locked away. The most important empowerment in life maybe boundaries & it’s something not allowed in dysfunctional families so you don’t even have awareness that you should have them or how to enforce them if you’ve come from dysfunction. Everything starts in childhood but the symptoms of dysfunctional programming becomes visible in your other relationships. Sometimes I wonder if everyone would sue their parents if they ever realized the root of every problem was from their parents. Some psychological experts believe it all hinges on attachment.
I was constantly told “Everyone experiences these emotions. It doesn’t mean you’ve been traumatized. Stop being so dramatic” whenever I tried to talk about these feelings as a kid.
Yet those same people act so surprised when I say I’m emotionally neglected…
You're not alone. I'm completely sorry for ever happened but ignore those type of people . they weren't there they don't know anything.
I get the feeling that I might have childhood trauma. When I was little, my brother was always getting on my nerves. He would take every single opportunity to harness, belittle me and nick pick everything I'd do in the most condescending harshest way. Now I know what you're thinking, siblings fight right? Here's the thing, he never stopped. Our feuding went on from our childhoods into our late teen years. He always seemed angry, always there to criticize me over the smallest things, was never helpful about it, and it actually got the point where I was afraid of him because of all that.
I've been wondering lately if maybe it's come back to me as trauma. I get tired easily even when I haven't done that much. I'm always anxious in some sort of way. I've been dwelling on negative thoughts a lot lately. And I've just been feeling this general sense of emptiness, like nothing I do is worth it.
This is my saving grace. Divine intervention at its finest. You are saving lives!!!!!! THANK YOU 🙏🏽🤍🅿️
This was me all through high school and my early years in college, but finding Carl Jung's, Robert Greene's, Friedrich Nietzsche's, and Jordan Peterson's work really helped me become an integrated and more actualized individual and the little Shaman Sister Sin's podcast a more stable identity with purpose. It took years of effort, study, practice, failure, and some heart break, but you can overcome your childhood trauma if you really want to.
I don't know how u manage to come up with more videos each and every day
I realized that I'm really out of touch with my emotions when my therapist told me that I smile brightly whenever we talk about traumatic incidences.
My parents used to threaten to beat me up whenever I showed "negative" emotions like anger or sadness or fear.
They rarely actually hit me but I guess at some point I got scared of showing my emotions
i wish the best for everybody and hope you are calm and releved
I watch a lot of your videos and I find them to be helpful. I can relate to a few of these, thank you for the information and the hard work.
Thank you for watching a bunch of them! I'm glad the videos could be of help. Are there topics you would like us to cover going forward?
@@Psych2go Maybe different types of modern therapies. I think that would a very interesting topic. Especially since I have been trying them out for my Combat related PTSD in therapy.
Being a child of divorced has left me with so much trauma. I've never seen so much violence , manipulation, anger and hate between two people. I had a very sad childhood but I am learning in therapy that we do not have to grow up to become our parents or let our childhoods may they be good or bad , be what define us.
I relate to every single one but idk if I suffered from trauma so I’m gonna tell you how it was :
Generally I had a good childhood, my parents loved me and my brother equally I think and my father had a good job so we weren’t missing everything.
But where it starts to get complicated is when we learned that my brother was suffering from retinitis pigmentary which is a degenerative eye disease that leaves the person almost blind at the end, and he is autistic (Asperger). So growing up they took care of him a lot and I felt a little neglected. So I started to subconsciously self harm. I would purposely fall, sprain my ankle or my wrist, or fake an illness so they would notice me, but it never worked because they always knew I was faking it.
Then when I was seven my parents divorced because my father cheated on my mother and I was the one who discovered it and told my mom. I don’t remember any of it because my brain chose to forget this event, but I remember seeing my mom totally depressed, swallowing pills every few hours and sleeping all day, but she stayed a good mom. She and my father stayed in good terms but he still wasn’t here and I only saw him one weekend out of two and on the Wednesdays. They took me to a psychiatrist because of my desperate attempts to get attention that i mentioned earlier, but this assh*le only talked to me about my mother or played Uno with me, and took 60€ (I’m from France) from my mom.
Then there is the part where my brother, being autistic, didn’t understand how to be a good older brother. He would hit me hard while we were playing and wouldn’t do anything when I was crying, just looked at me with a blank face (inhibiting behavior). I understand that it wasn’t his fault, but he almost killed me at least 3 times, by attempting to drown me , strangling me and threatening me with a knife, so I always felt like he didn’t love me. We rarely hugged or kissed (on the cheek), and we were always fighting with each other, and we sometimes said things that could really hurt, like “I wish you would die” or “I wish you were never born”. It got better as we grew older, but it’s still pretty hard not to being able to get along with your sibling.
There is also the fact that while he is 3 years older than me, I am his older sister in every single way. I take care of him, I wake him up, I check on him, I help him do his homework, I cook for him, at school I also help him, etc etc. He also is very depressed and I’m the one who had to talk him out of killing himself 3 times. And I can’t keep doing this because it’s destroying me, it’s a tidal wave that keeps washing over me, and I know that it’s not my place to do all of that, but if I don’t, who will ? My parents are always working, and they can only handle so much.
The problem is that I’m starting to become like him. I consciously destroy my eyes by reading on my phone, and my sight has decreased by 2.5/10, I tend to adopt an autistic attitude, and I’m also very depressed and suicidal (I tried to kill myself two times, but I didn’t succeed and nobody knows about it).
I also am diagnosed as a gifted child, I skipped one grade and I could have a second one but my parents didn’t want mw to feel ostracized. But in kindergarten, where my class was learning how to read and count, I was already learning the different forms a sentence can take, and how to conjugate a verb at the imperfect tense (a difficult French tense). And during primary and middle school, the only friends I had were very toxic and constantly criticized me and made me feel like I was nothing, but I continued to be friends with them, because I was very afraid of being alone and I’d take any form of company I could find.
And the cherry on the cake is the fact that I’m a lesbian, and my parents are homophobic and transphobic.
So yeah I don’t know if any of this could count as a childhood trauma because everyone I know has it worse and I don’t feel like my feelings are valid, maybe I’m just a crybaby who can’t appreciate what life has given her, so please give me your opinion, and don’t be afraid of saying what you really think.
U might have a trauma (I'm not an expert) but Ig trying to kill urself isn't something to ignore u should see an expert :/ they will help u
i slowly started to realize this year that i treat my friends like they are my family members, while i had resented my own family members for a while as well.
i want anybody that's still young reading this to know that you can do anything you want in this world & to never let anybody rob you of your own gifts and talents.
Hi psych2go! As someone who is receiving CBT, you're helping me a lot to understand myself and to improve myself. The thing is I don't think I am near on being neglected or having childhood trauma but I can relate immensely with numbers 2 to 4. It is true that I always receive, "you're like the mom of the group" this goes both ways back in my home country and while I'm here studying overseas. So I guess that shows even in different context I emulate such Vibes and behavior. I really don't mind this having as a statement said to me because sometimes I feel like it's a compliment. Especially when everyone else is far from their family, I feel glad that I help them with this sense of being home. Now, about helping, yes I am a helper -so damn very well to the point I neglect myself in order to help others even strangers. I always feel like I am responsible for everyone and accountable for them, which makes everyone see me as a great leader! But little do they know it is kinda a toxic trait instead, because I always try to please everyone instead by helping and being cautious with what I do. Finally, I always feel empty which I believed was caused by not having a dream. But since this gave me a new perspective that maybe it is maybe because of how my childhood had been robbed. I feel like I was forced to grow up so easily when I was younger and never really felt what it's like to be child. Even now, I am just trying to survive everyday even though I feel as hollow as an empty shell (deym, I wish I were a shell since some may still find me beautiful).
Sorry about this.. you are very strong! Thank you for sharing
@@Psych2go ☺️
I’ve discovered some of the funniest, creative and talented people are people that had a messed-up childhood, or didn’t really have one at all. They use humor to ease the pain, (and are damn good at it) and love to express themselves through art, music, writing, etc. If you suffered as a kid, remember: it doesn’t define you. You can do great things despite how you were treated while you were growing up, and there are SO many others just like you who have also suffered. You are not alone, and you are worth a damn. 💜
I'm all of these. My dad (who likely would have been the best dad ever because of how loved and happy he made us feel) died when I was only 5. My mom remarried twice after he died to try and fill the role, and both men were emotionally abusive or neglectful. As a result, I grew up with "daddy issues." I fear intimacy, have social anxiety, and I'm more attracted to men who are or act older than me (I'm a bi male with a preference for guys). It's so complicated, and it's a struggle to live with.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
I suffered from domestic violence both verbally and physically for 10 years when I was child. Today, as a young adult I can definitely see these symptoms showing up as a result. It led to cptsd, anxiety and depression. I know that I have to go to therapy but I self-sabotage which prevent me from doing it. I’m not even sure such trauma can be totally cured tbh. It feels like happiness and feeling like a “normal”person will never find me. Thank you for your video ❤️.
i wish you all the best, take care ❤️
All I can really recall from my childhood is my father not wanting to be around my mother and my mother's only answer to dealing with my ADHD was to throw a pill at it. I remember always trying to connect with her, but unless I was doing something she was interested in, the response would always be "how is this going to get you further in life".
Even to this day, she views putting me on the pill as "the best thing ever" since it was the first time she said she was able to have a conversation with me.
Whereas me, 15years ago I went cold turkey on the pill and it was like a spiritual awakening, seeing the world for the first time and realizing that I don't even recognize who I was before. I try to talk to my mom now and I still can't connect with her. Only way I feel I can describe her emotional involvement in my life is more "Absent" than "Abusive".
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
When I was a child, as I still am one. I was neglected and surrounded by a negative environment. My mother was an alcoholic since I was about 5. While my father ignored me or neglected me. The max amount of time I'd spend with my dad was around 30 minutes or 2 hours a day. I thought my dad was my hero since he was the one who didn't drink. He seemed like an angel, when he was not. I am a sensitive person so whenever my dad would yell at me I would, well, cry. Then made to feel invalid by him yelling at me more calling me "whiney" or "sensitive". At one point I felt like something was wrong with me. I am very lucky that I was not suicidal, due to fear of pain and death. But if I didn't have those fears I probably would've tried to end my life. There was also a very obvious favortism between him and my brother.
Thanks for these videos. It eases so much anxiety knowing that I'm not alone.
Thank you for watching and commenting.
So sorry to anyone who’s been through this; sending you all my love and support ❤️🥺
"If you never heal from what hurt you, you will bleed on people who never cut you..."
that's powerful! thank you
Facts
@@piiinkDeluxe ✨✨
Good point. It's a very important one. Points to You for acknowledging that.
True...
The worse thing ever about childhood trauma is feeling that you are responsible for everyones pains. I really dont want anyone to go through anything worse than what I did. If someone hurts themselves, I have to hurt myself and it HAS to be more painful then whatever they felt, otherwise I've failed in life. The feeling is worse when it's your favourite person. I really hope someone feels the same, I feel so alone with it.
I get the same. I had a horrible boss and than I got a coworker which I hated but my boss abused him so I had to interfere. Lol. Nearly broke me. I'm so glad we have social distancing now.
I spent most of my childhood witnessing my mother's downward spiral with bipolar disorder. There was a cycle of good times, deteriorating mental state, attempted suicide, getting sent to the ward and not seeing her for a long time and eventually her coming back home - just to wait when it all happens again. It all ended her finally managing taking her own life by throwing herself under a freight train.
I've never took a long-term therapy because of this, but my guess is that I still entirely avoid intimate relationships because deep down I believe that suffering from the loneliness is lesser evil, compared to the closest person just disappearing when you need her the most.
Hugs
Growing up, I was the 'confidant'. My mom, dad, and brothers would come to me and tell me about their problems. I found out about financial issues from my mom, dark secrets in the family from my dad, and had to give lots of emotional support for my brothers. I even had to be the adult and teach my littlest brother some VERY important information he would need in life, as my parents never did it with him. So, I guess I developed the 'helper' role because it was the way to keep the family together and "functional" when we were at some of our worst in my teens.
I wasn't "hurt" in my childhood, but.. There happened one thing, that totally changed everything.. I was after that diagnosed as person, who overcomes his IQ to get through hard situations. That basically means that, i mentaly grew to be older, then i really am. On one side it was good feeling, but on the other side.. I felt, no, i knew that i am different then others, and since that i have it hard to communicate or even get along with other people. And now when i am almost 18, i feel and even see on myself that.. I am basically just.. Not ready for the real world of adults. I think you can explain it by that. "i want to have my childhood, but since it basically ended for me too early, and i because of that basically didn't had any. I am trying to make it now, over again." But.. I suppose i just cannot move on from the past..
Relatable to a tee. All of it. I haven't been able to cry and know that I am/was sad for 3 1/2 years now.... I told a close friend about it, and we're both trying to help each other
Ohhh this hits hard. Not only my childhood, my teens and 20's. I was actually instructed not to flirt, my family shit talked my cousin for having boyfriends. I wanted to be the good girl that was clean, so I stayed alone. Once i reached adulthood, I didn't know how to break out of my isolation
feel you!
Ya Know what… Sometimes I’m afraid to click on these videos because they really hit home,and I don’t like that.But I still watch because I need to know and understand what’s going on within me.It took me a few days to click on this video because I didn’t wanna know at that time,but I was still curious.But great video to all the peoples involved in making it.Amanda,keep up the good work,we humans need channels like this to be heathy mentally
I'm only 11 and I check in all of those ESPECIALLY the one about the joking around thing. I always thought of it as a crappy coping mechanism for being neglected by my parents but now I know that it's more than just jokes about my crappy life at home. I definitely feel the emptiness in my chest too sometimes even my whole torso. I always knew from the comments from the adults around me that I was "an old soul" (their way of saying I'm mature) but I didn't know it was because of my childhood never really happening. Thank you for the video though! It was nice and I hope you continue posting the content you do!
The voice makes me feel comfortable, as growing up, all I have heard were screams and yells from people around me. Till the point that I could cry sometimes
Oof this hits home, lots of things to connect with. Thanks for making this video Psych2Go. It’s very appropriate to my experience and journey. A video idea I think might help or would like to know more on, I lost my mom at 12 and my dad at 23, I will be 30 next month. I guess I wondered about bereavement especially in children and or young adults, especially when there was not room to feel the emotions and other effects from it.
You are very strong!
Through therapy I learned my childhood wasn't robbed as much as it was taken out back on the first day behind the shed and buried in an unmarked grave I have yet to find. Good stuff.
Is “forgetting” a symptom..? I hardly remember anything except a few memories from my childhood. People always ask “don’t you remember [insert name of old friend here]?!” And I just don’t. Same with events. I just feel bad every time I can’t remember.
Yes, the same thing happens to me too, maybe the brain just wanted to protect us from bad memories so it denied the memories from going into our memories
Same with me. I cant remember most of my childhood, but whenever my older brothers bring up something traumatic that had happened I never seem to remember it at all. I think what happens is we go through a single or series of traumatic events that your brain just wipes your memories clean, of both the bad and good memories, to help stable your mind.
I was bullied heavily for years as a little kid, and everyone I trusted just said “ignore them and they’ll go away” every time I tried I just couldn’t muster up anything. The bathroom became my second home, I hid in there daily to avoid getting bullied and the school didn’t do anything either, the kid never got in trouble and eventually transferred to another school because of learning problems. He is one of the people I genuinely despise, he ruined my entire school life and I’m only now getting the help I need. I finally made friends, ones that I truly would do anything for, I don’t know what I would do without them and I hope I never lose them.
My bad experience on my home is with my siblings, we always say "Die" or "Do you wanna die". It a bit toxic for our relationship. But we just find it funny saying to eachother "die", and we made it a daily habit. And I always feel empty, I feel like anytime I play or talk to someone, I feel empty and I don't feel anything. My dad and mom's words sometimes hurt us, they think words like "you guys are useless" or "why don't you have common sense?" Or even "why are you stupid?" Do they think that wont affect ourself?.. I can see myself just acting positive whenever my parents are always mad, I try to make my siblings happy. Whenever they tell us that, I always think that we are stupid and useless, that we don't use our brains.
How you exactly know what im going through 😭😭 i felt myself nobody like to be with me 😭😭they see me as im like from another planet. Your the god friend amanda ..i will not forget
A lot of people are walking around silently suppressing childhood trauma and anxiety.
i assume the majority of people
50%
the empty/emotional neglect was very relatable I’ve always felt empty. I’ve often been described by my mother as emotionless or un-empathetic. Ever since I was 6 I decided “I don’t need emotions” because they made me feel weak everytime I got yelled at by my mother. Eventually I felt just like a shell but even after that I am still angry but I’m just missing something. I’ve dealt with it my whole life and I can’t say that I’m happy but I’m not overcome with emptiness and anger everyday it’s just a part of me that’s been haunting me forever.
somewhat same thing happened with me mate, my mother was very harsh on me, always told me I was very selfish amongst my sibling she also convinced that to everyone in the house, growing up I just started to believe that I'm selfish and questioned if I deserved it for everything I was getting. we never had a good realtionship because she never tried to understand me, talk to me. its been two years im away from home but she rarely calls to ask how im doing or what's going in my life, what kills me the most is she till date doesn't care to build a relationship with me, my childhood trauma never healed but it continues
Wow the day I’ve just unpacked all my traumas with my psychiatrist and got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder this gets uploaded haha! Everything checks out indeed 😅
this channel is both informative and comforting, the good kind of comfort. I feel validated in my experiences and that what I experience isn't "worse" nor "better" than others. Its just...my experiences, and everyones experience is all valid. Even my own, even though they call it "insignificant" and "other have it worse, be grateful." Love also that this is my soft sound therapy and helps me in getting to know myself deeply. Thanks, Psych2go!
There were a lot of things I found out we're not normal in my childhood after I became an adult one was families actually interact with each other. Another one was dinner isn't made at 11 and then told it's you lunch and dinner if there is any left. On that note I never knew dinner had an actual time my family just ate because no one wanted to cook anything hing else so aye when it was there. Some other things like learning my mom's mental health wasn't normal or my dad's anger issues and verbal abuse isn't healthy. I was 13 not able to understand the problems of those around me because while they were worried about omg my friend did this said this I was literally thinking about if my mom was on a good day with meds or if she was gonna be like a kid to take care of. I was worried about the drama and arguments of my home and how to keep my younger siblings away from it. I at one point had to kick my dad out of the house and I had the cops called on me by my mother when I had my first breakdown I was 15 walking around a shady neighborhood at 4am crying in the rain. Cops found me and then said "if it's that bad get a job and leave then"
You owe no one but yourself to be happy and deserve to live the life you want. So move out if you can.
I was wondering more about emotional trauma from siblings? If you are able to give any information in a video about it that’d be nice? :)
Sure! Trauma can also be in the form of siblings or friends or even other adults in your early childhood..
@@Psych2go thank you :)
@@Psych2go how about seeing your friends who are younger than you as siblings ?
I’m the youngest of 6 ( including myself in the number ) so growing up I’ve always wanted a younger sibling someone to mentor and be a role model to also someone to play with .
i grew up not remembering anything about my childhood , i had to grew up so fast and while that i’m the helper and the parent even to my parents i always felt that i must make sure everyone’s around me is happy and in a good mood …
a lot of talk bottle up in my chest don’t know how to put it in worlds
I realized I might have suffered childhood trauma when I found myself the happiest I've ever been at 19 years old. If there's one thing I would say to all the parents, it would be that NEVER choose a favorite child. If you're not able to love and support all your children equally, you just shouldn't have that many kids.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
@@Psych2go awwww thank You! You're so kind!
Me to a T!! I pretty much lived a sheltered life, only having anything resembling social interaction at school and at family get-togethers. I was never allowed to go to friends' birthday parties or have friends over till I was in 7th Grade. And they all wonder why I am still an awkwardly quiet person today
I was abused as a child. Some of these are true for me.
Sorry about this.. you are very strong!
I don’t want to get into relationships because of how many times I have had to comfort my mother for all of her break ups, and I just don’t trust anyone.
I had experienced childhood trauma and verbal abuse. The verbal abuse occurred plenty during my teen years. I also became diagnosed with Aspergers at 12 back in 1999 and not told about my condition until I was 17.
I have had loads of struggles all of my life. I also have been working on overcoming my past and for me wearing diapers has been an amazing tool for an assist in letting go of the past.
Before you comment and likely judge. Be sure you're willing to understand that people who have been through childhood trauma and a life of hardships isn't easy. I've dealt with that my entire life. Plus recently I've arrived at the realization that my mom was being controlling of me during my childhood years.
There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds...
...
When I was a kid, I was always the one who talked constantly and even called "Talking like a radio" by a relative who was dressed up as Santa on Christmas Eve and it became a famous quote within the WHOLE family... I learned to live with it.
In class, I was able to sit still, but never able to keep concentration for more than a couple of seconds at a time thus reverted to talking with friends. I was talking in school too.
I hit 4th grade and the short, talking boy wasn't cool to be around anymore, thus he gets pushed out of the larger group of friends within which my best friend was always welcome.
At this point, I remember that I looked for every opportunity to be noticed, to be able to hang out with someone, so I did a bunch of weird shit to get attention... (I think?)
I hit 7th grade and I really am among the least favored for unknown reasons and I start to get verbally and physically abused in school.
I usually got by through doing what many young people do; play computer games. Like, all the time. Because within the game, they're included and welcome. In my case, it was World of Warcraft.
Grades are only done because they have to be done. School was never really interesting until this point because of these reasons.
I hit senior high and people seem to accept me, but besides my very best friend, it was all at an arms length.
When it was time to finally hit university/higher education, I had no idea what I wanted to be. I knew that I wanted to learn more, so I continue on my IT/DATA journey.
I try computer science - programming for games which sounded awesome, but this overwhelmed me instantly since I wasn't a real coding nerd. I knew how to use a computer, but I had virtually no idea how to do 'programming'. I was defeated. Then I realize - I do like computer games, so maybe the Game Design class is worth a try!
It was better... for a while. For many reasons, but the biggest one being that I just wasn't ready for this kind of education yet, I quit after a year still feeling lost and a lack of motivation.
I start to work full time (employed as part-time employee) while I figure out what the heck I want to do in life. At some point, I came across studying abroad.
This didn't only sound good because it was Japanese, but I now know it was because it was "not here".
10 years later, I finally figure out that my racing thoughts, eagerness to talk etc. that I have had my whole life is because of a condition called ADD.
I take medication and was finally able to keep concentration for much longer. Then, I start to learn more on a daily basis about mental health, including on this channel (obviously ;-)).
I stumble upon this video and check every box...
Thinking back .... yeah .... I got some stuff to deal with.
I had no idea :-/
If you want to know more about your ADHD, there's a channel here on UA-cam called "How to ADHD". It has great advice and educational videos on what ADHD is, ways to help manage it, how it affects people, and all kinds of other great stuff! I think you'd like it. It's helped me learn to live with and manage my ADHD. Maybe you'll find something that could help you too.
All of this feel so fit with me
I know that this video is educational purposes only but listening to every thing in it sometimes makes me feel better
I can relate to everything that you have said.
Same here..so much relatable
Are there signs that you've felt we've missed?
@@Psych2go i developed palpitation but its not that common for childhood trauma
When I was little my parents would go to work and leave me with my grandma (father's side of family) and she would tell me that SHE gave birth to me, and not my mother. She would tell me that my mom and her side of the family are evil and I should be praying to god to keep me safe from their bad mojo when I'm around them. Lovely woman really 🙂
Haha… interesting. I would like to hear the rest of the story.
I love this
What a coincidence today I discussed my childhoodtrauma with my therapist. When I was a child I was paralyzed and I couldn't speak for quite some time, I cried a lot to show my frustation not beeing able to speak. Nowadays as an adult I get quickly emotional and start quiet easily crying, especially when I have to set boundaries. My therapist explained to me that there mostliky is a disconection between my emotional side and reasoning: I don't have trouble understand reasoning but the emotions take over more often then not. I hope beeing aware of that will help me set boundaries more easily in the future.
Early!! Hii
I'm not watching this for me but for my girlfriend. She had to help her family after a couple of incidents at a very young age and I really want to be there for her and help her. Help her with work, studies and stuff at home. She's the most genuine person on earth and I want to give her all the love I can.
It’s 1:20 AM but i don’t even care 🕺🏽
It’s 12:30 am for me 💃
@Michael Fresnell ain’t it just great? 😀
@@jingl3ball how fun 😃
Omg... I realized that i've been feeling like this all my life...that is mind blowing for me to think that some people may not feel this way with social interactions...and that it is actually, not normal.
Was that animal crossing at the 0:26?
I was bullied terribly until 12th grade. From 8th grade until I went away to college, my father beat me several times per week. I was later diagnosed w A.D.D., Asbergers Syndrome and PTSD. I am good at making friends but poor at maintaining friendships. I write books and rap music and I am a long-distance runner. I just turned 50 this year and have way too much to still figure out at my age. I got married last August and my wife is a type A personality. She has a hard time understanding why I get little done outside of my job and running. I have a 7 year old and 9 year old daughters who I adore and want to be closer to but I am often distracted by depression, low-self esteem and a million other things. Just functioning is really difficult. I am ready to thrive now. I just don't know how to not be overwhelmed so easily and often. Yet, "functioning" is no longer enough. It's hard not to be resentful that my childhood was stolen from me. I am optimistic and smile daily. Yet, I am a serious underachiever and am determined to change this as well as have better and closer relationships w both friends and family.
me watching this, pretending i don't know fully well i'm traumatized: 😨😱
I knew at a young age that our family was messed up and my parents lied about me all the time but even knowing that it's still messed me up