6 Signs You Have Emotional Trauma But Don't Know It
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- You may be experiencing signs of unresolved emotional trauma if often wonder why you feel broken while others seem to easily enjoy the simpler things in life. In this video, we will cover additional signs that were not included in Part 1. We hope to help you gain insight into some of your thoughts and behaviors, and offer some steps you can take towards healing.
Watch this video for part 1: • 5 Signs You Have Emoti...
Script Writer: Stela Kosic
Script Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Aury
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
A. (2020, December 31). The Subtle Effects of Trauma - Social Withdrawal. Khiron Clinics. khironclinics.com/blog/trauma-and-social-withdrawal/
Arabi, S., MA. (2022, March 30). Do You Seek Validation from Others? Here’s How to Stop. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/health/steps-to-stop-seeking-approval-from-others/
Campbell, L. (2021, June 8). Why Personal Boundaries are Important and How to Set Them. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/lib/what-are-personal-boundaries-how-do-i-get-some/
Chen, C., Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (2019, August). Adverse childhood experiences and multidimensional perfectionism in young adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 146, 53-57. doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.03.042
Depression Traps: Social Withdrawal, Rumination, and More. (2010, December 6). WebMD. www.webmd.com/depression/features/depression-traps-and-pitfalls
Hämmig, O. (2019, August 29). Correction: Health risks associated with social isolation in general and in young, middle and old age. PLOS ONE, 14(8), e0222124. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0222124
Hölzel, B. K., Carmody, J., Vangel, M., Congleton, C., Yerramsetti, S. M., Gard, T., & Lazar, S. W. (2011, January). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 191(1), 36-43. doi.org/10.1016/j.pscychresns.2010.08.006
How to Overcome Your Fear of Conflict. (2021, July 3). Verywell Mind. www.verywellmind.com/how-do-i-get-over-my-fear-of-conflict-with-others-3024828
Lamothe, C. (2020, March 30). Conflict Avoidance Doesn’t Do You Any Favors. Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/conflict-avoidance#how-its-harmful
Morin, A. (2016, October 27). 6 Ways to Overcome the Fear of Confrontation. Psychology Today. www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201610/6-ways-overcome-the-fear-confrontation
Pattemore, C. (2021, June 3). 10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries. Psych Central. psychcentral.com/lib/10-way-to-build-and-preserve-better-boundaries
Pineles, S. L., Mostoufi, S. M., Ready, C. B., Street, A. E., Griffin, M. G., & Resick, P. A. (2011, February). Trauma reactivity, avoidant coping, and PTSD symptoms: A moderating relationship? Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 120(1), 240-246. doi.org/10.1037/a0022123
Pluut, H., & Wonders, J. (2020). Not Able to Lead a Healthy Life When You Need It the Most: Dual Role of Lifestyle Behaviors in the Association of Blurred Work-Life Boundaries With Well-Being. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.607294
Sachdev, G. (2022, January 10). Why do some people need constant validation? An expert tells us all. Healthshots. www.healthshots.com/mind/mental-health/need-for-validation-and-its-effects-on-mental-health/amp
Therapy, H. (2021, August 30). Healthy Boundaries - 12 Signs You Lack Them (and Why You Need Them). Harley TherapyTM Blog. www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/healthy-boundaries.htm
Wonders, J. (2020, December 23). Not Able to Lead a Healthy Life When You Need It the Most: Dual Role of Lifestyle Behaviors in the Association of Blurred Work-Life Boundaries With Well-Being. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.607294
What's one thing you would like to manifest for 2023?
HAPPINESS
My business
Your mom
circle of reliable friends
Love
I much prefer to just ignore all “trauma” related events until it manifests into cancer and kills me.
Amen bro that's how real man die. Or a heart attack from all the shit they carry by themselves :D
You're wild for that one 😂
Most relatable words
Yeah same... I had all of these problems... my parents aren't always the best.
Wow! So what is leading u to these type of videos, if that's your solution
"Trauma is personal, it does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated, the silent screams continue internally, heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams, healing can begin." - Danielle Bernock
No wonder I'm so bad at healing/recovering myself xD thank you!
"When someone enters the pain and hears the screams, healing can begin." if only people would be walking gpses to find their other half then we'll be living in a miracle world.
@@WafelixRox bad idea, more than likely said other half wouldn't have you as their other half
Those silent screams are why we don’t talk to people.. they likely have their own horrors to scream about why should I add to them?… that’s just cruel.
"If others are allowed to be imperfect, so are you."
As an empath this hit hard
even as an empath my traumas will never ever let me comprehend this
@@pinkponkk349 would you look down on someone else for being imperfect?
I meant that me being an empath, I forgive everyone automatically
Untill they conjure up double standard reasons as to why they are allowed to be imperfect but youre not. Like what happens 95% of the time
@@mahoganywinters the problem lies in the fact that a LOT of people do look down on people for having flaws when empaths don't
@@dasitmane7590 yup
Timestamps
1). Conditional love 0:22
2). Boundaries 1:14
3). Conflict 2:16
4). Validation 3:16
5). Avoidance 4:14
6). Isolation 5:00
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Ty
Tysm
Thank you
Thanks 😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤
W
I resonate a little bit with all of these. I grew up with a family who loved me, but they could be (and still are) somewhat toxic. Self love is helping a lot with these issues, but I probably will need therapy eventually, when I'm ready.
I’ve always thought that I’m the bad person (and what ppl made me feel)for thinking that my family takes such a huge role on my mental health. they are good ppl but no one is perfect..I’m the oldest of 3girls as I grew up I got less attention and was told I take too much time and effort..I don’t think they realized how much these words hurt..especially to a 9yr old.
Miles away from a toxic family, and I still feel their bad influence!
@@Dead.555 I'm also oldest from my 2 siblings one sister and one brother my family loves me but from when I was 8 or 9 they starting showing less care to me they love me yet but not like before my parents even said to me that go and die you are burden to us on my face and many hurtful words but they don't even care how bad it hurts my heart but not its usual to me but still it feels bad my parents never listen to my dreams that what I want to do they just think that what they want me to do
Yupp im on the same boat!
The same here, I identified with several things in the video. It took me many years to learn to make amends for the mistakes my parents made with me. I know they are not bad people, but my life could have been better if they had been more aware of their actions.
I still have bad days, when I don't get enough sleep or when I have to deal with their problems, but I'm far from who I was as a teenager and I'm proud of that. Maybe I'll go to therapy when I can live on my own and I'm no longer in their shadow.
When I go through emotions I feel like I can't process them because it's hard to express how I am feeling
Same with me so i write down
Uuuhhhh interesting. So are you an Introverted feeler Like Shinji Ikari from Eva Anime? He IS Infp and struggling heavily with Feelings. 🔥❣️
@@SeelenTaucher I'm both extroverted and introverted because I love being around people but when I cry in front of them I get embarrassed and want to be alone
Same. Like every day I can make a novel about what's currently is my problem, then the next day there's another problem that occurred to me from the past. I can write a whole library of problems everyday. Guess you have many of "worlds smallest violins" to be tangled and twisted together to make one big hell on earth
@@SeelenTaucher so your first thing to do when someone tells about their feelings is to compare them to a anime character? Damn you havent touched grass in a while
I've had emotional trauma ever since I was a kid, but I used to not know it or where it REALLY came from. I only have been knowing in recent years, but just can't do anything against it as of now, and that is the problem.
awareness and acceptance is the first step
@@meeraa_111 Awareness has been there for a long time.
Acceptance for what exactly? I need to point out that my situation is not something I have control over (and no, please don't be another person to give me that ''you can control yourself and choose to have it good if you think differently'' because that really doesn't help and I already don't know what is real anymore and won't any time soon if I keep having no choice but to accept all this gaslight)
I really wish there could be someone who understands me but has the power to fix what caused me all this turmoil, instead of just talking down to me
Yeah me too.
@@frostlightningx1636 I'm happy to relate to this problem. People always give advice which never seem to work, so whenever people open their mouth about my problems I just walk away. I'm angry, but can't show it because they don't know what they're doing wrong, so I can't blame them. Help failed. Its always leads to disappointment. At this point I feel like their isn't a proper solution, and that I might be just so weak willed or narrow visioned to face my fears or see a new perspective. I don't know how to look at a new perspective because you can't make lemonade from dogshit. I just keep making excuses for every little thing to avoid it and pretend I'm fine so I don't need to hear a single word from anyone's mouth. It's suffocating, but being alone I can feel at peace at least
@@frostlightningx1636 ahahahahah me too since 7 I was seven
When i got emotional trauma
I feel like this channel knows a lot of people better than they know themselves. So I wanna say thanks for the tips and helping me learn more about myself :)
Agreed. I learned soooo much about myself when I watched like, 2 videos lol. I still watch them and find more traits and traumas I've never noticed originally
I also feel that way and my friends said it might not be true but watching these videos make me feel better of myself
@@DeRez19 I have to watch over 10 videos to make myself better
It’s most likely that case because like it said in a section of the video, we mask our pain and when someone reaches for a strap of that mask. We push them away as far as we can so it doesn’t happen again.
DITTO
Being in therapy has taught me to heal by practicing self love. It’s as simple as speaking to yourself like you’re the adult you needed in your life. It builds self validation. You can also write to yourself. Think of what you would say to someone you love and redirect it to yourself.
Too bad that’s a totally bullshit way of doing it for myself. It’s fake and I know that. Fake it till you make it does not work for me.
@@weeblesjeeblez Just because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean it doesn't work for others.
If this is what you learn in therapy then it will 100% be a waste of money for me. I don't need to pay hundreds of dollars to be told to "think happy thoughts."
@@commentbot9510 it’s more about the conversation with the therapist. These are just techniques that have been helpful.
@@pierre0227 If I can go to a therapist 6 times and get absolutely nothing out of it, then it is a waste of time and money. Those 6 sessions would cost over $600! Every time I go to therapy, I just talk about my problems and then am told the most generic therapist advice that I could get myself by just googling therapy techniques.
I’m sorry but looking at objects around my room and feeling all 5 senses is not going to change the fact that I will have extreme anxiety about this very specific topic again. Whether I’m worried about the problem or not will not cause it to cease to exist. Twisting things to delude myself into viewing them positively and then distracting myself with a video game before my thoughts spiral out of control is NOT going to deal with the actual problem! I can’t lie to myself and tell myself the sky is green until genuinely believe it and then have the sky literally become green.
The cost is just not worth it at all and I'm not taking out a 2nd loan to get far enough into it that I actually get something out of it.
I knew I had trauma but I couldn't identify it until now. Thanks for the video.
I have suffered a lot of trauma, I have been bullied and have been the victim of discrimination, colourism and racism during my employment and education at drama school and it’s been so hard to overcome that.
I feel isolated and lonely because I feel I can’t turn to anyone for help unless it’s a counsellor.
Thank you for making us all aware. I can completely relate to everything in this video and I still feel it now.
Do you know your mbti Type? Sounds pretty hurtful. 🤧 Sounds Like lonley Shinji Ikari from NGE Anime, right? For those types, especially If introverted, ITS Not easy emotionally opening Up. I also Had No one to Talk...but Just a counsellor or watching UA-cam knowledge and experiences to feel understood and learning about self. What IS your Attatchment Style?
@@SeelenTaucher I don’t fully understand part of your reply. The mbti type, I don’t know what that is. Could you please explain? You also mentioned about lonley shinji, could you again please explain what you mean.
How do I tell if I am an introverted?
I go to counsellors, but I find the videos on UA-cam around certain areas on mental health has helped me learn a lot and it understands what I am going through which I can relate. That’s what works for me.
What is your attachment style?
I may not be fluent in English, but I just want to say that if someone bullies you again for your colour, you can say, "There's nothing wrong with it. Skin-colour, too, should have diversity".
@@bhumikaroy2739 "Oh you are right, sorry for bullying you! now we will be best friend forever because you telling me this." Do you expect the world will just works like that?
I can fully relate to this, the bullying, the discrimination, the unjust treatment they gave to me just because I'm _slightly different_ is just awful, can't give you any motivational words, but please know that you are not alone. Hopefully knowing that would make you feel a bit better; because I did after reading your experience.
#4 : seeking validation isn't always a bad thing. My step-father was born in the 50's, his father was a prisonner of war from WWII, and he came home with PTSD. He married a woman, they had their son, but the father couldn't have a family life. He took the bus every morning to go to the city and came home late. So my step-dad was raised by his mother, grand-mother and uncle. As an adult, he was always insecure about the love of others. He always ask if we are happy, if we feel good, etc... He often says to my mom "I love you, darling", out of nowhere, without reason. My mother told me : when you are in couple with a woman, always remind her that you love her, sometimes, we really need that.
I had a traumatic experience last year and I felt some of these, especially the avoidance, validation and isolation, I was in a relationship with someone who had a toxic friend group, instead of a standard break up, their friends started spreading rumors about me and harassed me, this on top of my life of being bullied shut me away from everyone, and while I’ve recovered a bit, I still start shaking whenever I get a notification on my phone, I still can hardly go somewhere publicly without thinking “what if they are here and see me,” I hope no one else has to endure what I have, and I hope that anyone else who does can find comfort and recover in any way possible
Awww it's sucks so bad that people do things like this to each other. In that ways it's great being a grown up, because if you choose kind people into your life, at some point you notice everyone you know is sane and kind!
Same experience last year
I connected with a lot of these but the last one hit me the most. As a kid I would self withdraw and play by myself a lot and I never knew why I did. That kinda stuck to me and It is very hard for me to be around others sometimes because of that. Thank you for this video. ❤
Me too, both in kindergarten and middle school🥺❤️
Man same here. I play by myself a lot, even though I'm almost 19. None of my family members are into what I'm into, and It's hard for me to visit fan events. I try to go to discords but finding like-minded people is still a hassle.
Same here
Me too; but I had no traumas I can remember
And again. This does sound exactly like me. I already know that I am suffering from childhood trauma, but I don't know how deep does it go. Heating about this gives me a sense of being understood. And I need that so, so much. Even despite being in therapy. I started abusing substances when I was 12. And I know that was me self medicating to escape from trauma and depression. Needless to say I am suffering from addiction. Haven't had any alcohol for around 20 months and I going to therapy. I feel I'm bumbling at this point. Just thank you for this. Sending love.
I hope you find true happiness in your lifetime 😊😊😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤❤🥹
I've a similar story, i was bullied throughout ALL of schooling, including my bachelor's degree. My drugs were videogames (escapism) for distraction, and p**n to numb myself. I haven't gone to therapy in ages, but i have been waiting for a while year for a psychiatry consultation. I'm going to sing myself up for psychotherapy soon, because i can't wait for the Portuguese health system to let me die off before i get an appointment.
The thing that helped me most so far was cold shower exposure (do the 30 day challenge), cycling which i do sporadically since a young age, switching to movies which is a much more mindful activity for me and i end up relating a lot to my life and letting some feelings out through empathy Anthony Hopkins' carry a pic of your child self on your wallet, and the HO'oponopo Hawaiian saying.
I still struggle with my emotional trauma, sometimes it’s very dark that I’d feel negative the whole day, even weeks
Hey! I am here to share my story about my childhood trauma I was too young I am 12 now but when this happend I was like 6-7 so it was like a double attack so my dad had a really bad burnout and had a bad depression , he was not able to sleep for days and he was done with it so he tried to harm himself he had 7 meds at once and he slept so bad that he was taken to the clinic even after this he tried to harm himself many times...I can totally understand he didn't do that purposely but he changed from the happiest to the saddest+rudest person on the earth i used to cry almost everyday and I had a really bad trauma but thanks to you I understand about a lot I learnt many things from it and the video was worth it
I related to every point but I am on a healing moment (+my dad i guess)and in this event I found out that I lack self-love and I found myself I still am trying my best and I know if the sun dips it will rise again for sure my shine would come back... Lots of love sis you made my day with those caring words and soft voice have a great day/night ahead💕💕
Glad u come to know about u more. I'm sure u will come out of all one day and inspire other children being the example of confidence. My love to u both. And i pray to god that u both meet the next beautiful step of life happily together ❤️. 😊
Best of luck, young one ✌🏽
You are so strong ❤ But i hope you know that it is ok to not be ok, it is ok to feel weak sometimes. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. I am so so proud of you, i know that sounds weird because I am a stranger, but I know that that must hurt 💛 I hope you are able to continue with your healing journey, and that things get better for you and your dad. If it's someone you trust, don't be afraid to ask for help if possible. I know how hard things are to do on your own. But i know that you do got this. Don't give up 💕
Damn reading this paragraph does give me a tedious headache…But I know how you feel 💔💔💔…it can be so disturbingly frustrating and a pain in the ass. I just wish I can meet you irl and give you a hug…❤️🩹💔💕. I am starting to cry while reading your situation and comment..:
SORRY TO HEAR THAT ESPECIALLY SORRY TO HEAR IT HAPPENED AROUND 6-7 THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
I hope this helps! :D
1.) Conditional Love 0:23
2.) Boundaries 1:14
3.) Conflict 2:15
4.) Validation 3:16
5.) Avoidance 4:15
6.) Isolation 5:00
Ty
6.)Isolation 5:00
THANK YOU!
This is supposed to be kind of sad, but I smile everything they post a video
Why is it supposed to be sad? I think it's good that they post this stuff I'm happy about it
a lot of this honestly applies to me but I don't call it trauma, I think of it as motivation to not be my past self. instead to strive being a better me, I genuinely don't care about my feelings sometimes cause I know what I want and I'm gonna work for it no matter how much my feelings wanna drag me down. eventually I only ever end up feeling good about myself being able to power through. I was diagnosed with depression before and was sent to a psychiatric clinic even though I said I don't need it. but before long the psychologists at the clinic I stayed at were confused to see that I basically cured myself by actually working to what I wanna do instead of being stuck in the past. to me my mental state is all judged by how I want to be rn, I see it as me willingly putting myself in that state of mind instead of trying to pull myself out of it.
You're describing my whole childhood and I'm nothing but a people pleaser. I don't go anywhere but were I have to and don't want anyone around me, I don't have any friends or family members that I could talk to about any of it, they are the ones who treated me like those you listed.
Sometimes isolating oneself from others can be the only way to heal ourselves because being in other's company may make it worse
Our system still doesn't have a full understanding of our childhood experiences or how we even came to be and what we are. Seeing things like this that help click these bits of information together is super helpful, thank you a lot.
OK, than this might Help U even more: Most Wounds come from childhood Wounds and Traumas. Than WE might Developer different Attatchment Styles, Which can make It harder to Trust ourselves or Others. It helped me Lots knowing about CBT and Attatchment Style. Have Not known that there was Something Like different Attatchment Styles. Best wishes dear Soul ❣️ Greets from Enfp 9w1. Do U also know your mbti Type? 😊🌏
Grew up with manipulative narcissistic parents. All 6 points used to apply to me. But I'm happy that I'm working on my trauma! If you're like me, just know that things can get better. :)
Yes this is me. My parents toxic and abusive and left these scars in my heart.
Have a blessed year psych 2 go and everyone who is on this healing journey
At times my grandmother had been mad at me because she thinks myself & my friends are up to no good at all. But after I watched this video, I got to thank you for thinking about the signs of trauma that I have been going through every time! I love your voice too. ❤️
All of them sound like me especially the last one. I self isolate and I’m not lonely I’m at the point where I make myself happy now because I realized I can’t rely on anyone else. My trauma and brain now reminds me others aren’t reliable and it’s saved me in all honesty. I just read and stay in my place with my pup and feel infinitely happier by avoiding all people
This is me to the letter.!!! Wow!! I have never seen a video like this where I feel like someone was personally taking notes of me from childhood until now and then analyzed all of what they have observed. I have recently started talk therapy again and my therapist spoke about this. But, I have never felt 100% seen until this video. Like, “Dude, the way you feel, the thoughts that you have about yourself, the way that you behave around others, there is a reason.” I could literally just bawl right now. I know that this is a bit melodramatic but I don’t even care. When I say that I have NEVER had this sense of validation before, it is not a hyperbolic statement.
I wish you to get recover from all that! What good news that you have started your therapy and follow such contents too. Many blessings!
@@user-lx3bo6jg4b Thank you so much. Happy New Year and many Blessings to you also.😊
I'm in a dark place right now
It's been a year. Hopefully, your life is better now. I'm sorry that you had a bad time.
You're not alone
Hi me too. Relocation for job. Homesick. Break up. My stray pet is missing. Can't do anything from here.
I lost my mind energy everything
I recently had a pot experience that left me with a ton of questions. In the moment, I saw things I had forgotten about so long ago. I remembered so much of my childhood.. It was like my brain shut down, then started going through each memory, one by one, showing me every dream, every moment, and every hurt. This trip has left me wondering “what happened to me as a kid? Why was I screaming, wishing for death? I was only a child…” I hadn’t even gone through puberty yet and there was something bad going on. So when I saw this video pop up, it felt like it was made for me.
I don’t know what happened.. I grew up loved and supported, but I can’t shake the feeling I have PTSD not only from my last relationship, but also from my childhood.
This is extremely accurate to what is happening to me. Feels like I just realized it, thanks to you guys. Thank you for making me aware of these signs, will defenitly talk about it to my therapist.
Boundaries is probably the one that stuck out most to me.
When I was in grade school, I was in multiple toxic relationships.
The one that left the largest mark on me was my second friendship with a girl. i always felt like I needed to please her or else she would cry like a little baby. So I always felt like I needed to please people. But I also felt stuck with her but abandoned at the same time. I became very clingy in that regard. My current best friend is amazing. But we have very different ways of thinking. So I always feel like I must please them because I’m afraid they’ll abandon me like my old friend did. I’m very aggressive but I can never stand up for myself in an argument around them because I feel like they’ll get mad at me. And will leave me.
It’s turned me into a people pleaser. I’m not proud of it.
so even if I don’t agree with them. i’ll try to avoid conflict at all cost and just agree.
You're not alone my friend. I've been a people pleaser for years. Let people insult my faith (I'm a Christian), never contested with anyone I thought was wrong, etc. I'm still quite like that, though. I have always been smacked around for having different opinions so I think that's what influenced me to stay so reserved. I'm always looking for people who share the same opinions as me but that's super hard.
Hey bud it also happened to me for 6 years and I'm now 11 (but I'm about to turn 12) and thankfully could find the path to quit being the people pleaser, and then my brother died of cancer last year (2022) and it broke my heart like a really sharpened knife cutting meat which almost leaded me to self 🔪...... But the thing that I advice you is being thankful to God and the earth to survive another day..... And you should also know that in earth there is many people that would help you with anything they could....... and yes I am here sacrificing myself again ..... haha........
I am suffering due to fear of exam failure please help me.
I am in awe at just the fact that everything here rang true. New years eve my alters awakened. And now we are all working together on our mental health. Looking forward to learning more about us through your channel.
It was thanks to your channel that I started therapy 3 years ago. But I've been watching off and on for like 7 years. Parents, well my father would never let me go to therapy so I had to wait til I was 18 and they had moved out of my home with my grandparents and others.
Thank you for validating us all. Thank you.
I don't know what I would have done without you. Your videos are so helpful and thanks to it I have this feeling of being understood
DEFINITELY validation for me. I suffer from depression, and I have a hard time finding worth without constant validation. People say I draw really well, but if I dhow them a drawing and they are just like, "cool!" I feel like they hate it instantly
So U might know Asuka Soryu or Shinji Ikari, dont you? Pretty Intense Anime about Humans souls
Even if they hate it.. You can draw!! And maybe better then them.. So, if you are confident in your skill, you know your value. You cannot make something which pleases everyone anyway, so keep your style and go with it.
You will bonk into a lot of rocks, but keep drawing the way YOU WANT. Have a nice day :3
Hi :) Thank you for making us aware of what’s happening to our mental health and letting us know ourselves more! You’ve helped me throughout my 2022 and became a part of it, I hope to see more of ur videos! Love ur content psych2go!
Me too!
You always post the right videos at the right time when I'm going through it ty so much for getting me through so much you are such a big help
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
I love how these people put no ads in there videos, shows one there more focused on. Helping the viewer rather than profiting from them
You just one of those good creators who not only create but make a real human 😊🙂🤍, keep going, 🤍your videos are just very much helpful for today's world😊
I hate how much i can relate to all these signs 😭.
Coming out the other side of this, I'd like to say that these tips do help, and the work you put in will reward you. The most interesting thing is that you still think those negative thoughts, they still show up as intrusive thoughts; but they're nowhere near as devastating or permanent as they might have been before you started. Keep up the good work, believe in yourself, and have the people who love you help do the lifting, if they can. Look forward to when it starts getting better, and it will seem to start much sooner.
I love hearing you speak, the calmness is just comforting and peaceful, it’s a good break from other people speaking because of the calmness
Thank you so much!!!! For so long I was struggling to understand what went wrong with me! Now I finally know why I am behaving the way I am! ☹️💔
I always appreciate your content. Not only did you lay out possible traumas but gave tools and tips for assistance. Happy New Year all 💜
+Psych2GoTv *Thanks for the briefing on ACE's and their effects:*
0:22 (1) Conditional love
1:15 (2) Blurred boundaries
2:17 (3) Fear of conflict
3:16 (4) Intermittent validation
4:14 (5) Avoidance
5:00 (6) Isolation
Thanks 😊
This video summarizes it all. I’m hoping 2023 is the best for mental health days.
I got pretty much every problem from this video life is awesome
Wow, this hit a nerve with me on one point, particularly. My father abandoned us when I was 11yrs old (the youngest). From as long as I can remember, he's gone on & on about my weight, as a teenager, as an adult, and now into my late 50's. I wasn't really fat as a kid - I had fat thighs, which as the oldest of all of my cousins, & now as an aunt, I can seen is a genetic trait, even now in my cousins' kids, too. He'll always give me a sermon about what *he* eats. If I diet, if never right, because it's not *his* way. I had a car accident, then a few years later, a work injury. My body gave up a bit after that last injury. No bounding back fully, injury-wise or weight-wise. Before this, if I put on extra weight after a holiday, I'd worked it off to be under my self-appointed ceiling weight (but not his weight, of course). I once lost lots & lots of weight (just before my last injury), but he went mad all the time, because it wasn't *his* way. It was meant to be a kick-starter, then for me to go into maintenance. Anyway, my father absolutely infuriates me with his healthy eating sermon. Thus, I won't take diet advice from *anyone*. .. and I can only diet if it's *my choice* (ie a right mindset requirement).
I've become embarrassed at my weight post-injury. It's not budged. However, my mum died 2 yrs ago, after looking after her for many years - we looked after each other for years in the last 2 decades, but I took the brunt of looking after her in the latter years, as being an adult to her. After she died, I had no time to grieve with so much to do following her death. I was exhausted! Anyone, I lost my appetite, was broke, then weight was falling off me, without trying. But last year, 2 houses we being built next to mine, my fence was taken down, damaged, etc and noise & intrusion well & truly happened. I was getting stressed. I hadn't even properly grieved. I felt like I was being encircled by noise (which I have a growing Intolerance of)... as the house on the otherside was vacant (the owner died the day before my mum died), was sole & resold, then rented out. Eek! The "fence" neighbour on the otherside wants me to remove my tree... even though he chose to build next to me & also, I told him he could trim his side before he started building.
I exploded at trespassing tradesmen on the 2nd anniversary of Mum's death. I lost it. My doctor saw me & put me on a 2nd type of antidepressant to complement the one I'd been on since my work injury days. I see a psychologist mid-Jan.
Anyway, my father is getting kicked out of house - it was sold from under him. I have Mum's granny flat. I'm torn. He's 85 & has decided at every opportunity to NOT buy a house here (Australia) because as an utter narcissist, he likes money to spend for himself, not on a house. It's bad enough that I've had decades of abyse from him (plus I suffered CSA at the hands of a boarder Mum had after left - she needed boarders to help pay the mortgage).
Dad has never asked me to move in Mum's granny flat, but he's stressed me with his stress. Guilt says I should have him move in in his old age, but I couldn't handle him always putting me down, lecturing me, ot respecting me, not abiding by my rules (he's not a criminal, but he loves to break rules, eg "No Trespassing" sign - he'll go see what's so special that he has to be kept out, etc). I'm not a rule breaker at all, and I couldn't have that. I can't imagine what he'd do to Mum's granny flat with all of her Dutch things, which I've now set up beautifully. Her granny flat last year was a safe haven, and I've not even had that this year, because of the ongoing construction next door, especially the really loud radio of most of the outdoor tradesmen.
Anyway, there's a lot going on. But, I made a deal with him when I was a teenager that if I didn't talk Christianity, that he can't shove his astrology down my throat - as he'd been doing since I was a kid. That stopped it. I've also told him to not talk politics (because we disagree & he starts swearing really badly at me), but that's not stopped him from repeatedly breaking that rule, but I won't engage with it.
So, out of everything, the most damaging to my soul from my earliest is about guys' expectations (he's a serial womaniser), are comments like "I won't get a boyfriend until I ride a bike". I was quite slim in photos around the time when he was saying that. The other is to do with cooking - when I was 11, Mum was in hospital, and instead of buying food or making it himself as the parent for us, I was to make the main meal (& by 11, I'd only ever cooked desserts, cakes, biscuits/cookies, etc). I didn't get the timing or flavours right, and I've hated cooking main meals ever since.
So, I owe it to myself to say "No more!" to his lifelong lecturing me about food & commenting on my weight. I need to establish boundaries. Maybe then he'll recognise why I can't have him here... nah, he's an utter narcissist. He never sees anything wrong in himself, only in others, and especially in me (& his brothers who did better in their chosen careers & are rich).
Anyway, long story, but this video has immediately showed me that the topics of food & my weight are totally off-bounds. He won't abide by this, because he can't help himself. (He even brings me his canned food & packet stuff that I hate, and he also uses to bring foods for me that Mum would like - I swear the things he says that he thinks I'm Mum half of the time. Funny, he's stopped giving me food that Mum likes now that she's died. I used to give just about all of his stuff to my mum, and she'd send the stuff she didn't want onto charities. And, I can't kindly ask him not to bring certain items - he gets i to a rage - or not to bring anything at all - he ignores me & thinks he's being a big man doing so. Grr! But I heard on a video that a narcissist can lile to bring food over to control someone. It's the only reason. No Christmas present this time (although most of my life he's never brought me anything, and it's also something ridiculously cheap & nasty, and nothing I'd like). Anyway, no present, yet at Christmas, half the amount of food. I think it's anger underneath for me not inviting him to live with me.
Anyway, that's lots there. It took me until just before my mum's death to recognise from videos that the entire issue between my father & me is that he's a narcissist. All my life I'd wondered what the real issue was. It was like blinders coming off of my eyes & all making sense.
So, yep, food & my weight are now taboo subjects. I'm going to build & enforce another boundary - it's well overdue, a life time overdue.
Thanks for this video.
Cheers from Australia 🇦🇺
i can relate to literally all 6 of these... thank you from making it just that much more clear in my head
This is so me!
I'm ready to release the trauma
This entire video is a perfect description of my life.
thank you for sharing your videos. they are beautifully animated and well spoken. your team has and continues to help me
All of your videos have truly helped me discover and be aware of the toxic environment i am in, and how to get through it. I know it won't be over as soon as I want it to be, but eventually I'll get through it! Also a short request, if possible, could you make a video on how to maintain a healthy life as a teen living alone? (I'm filing for emancipation in a few months, and anything like that would help out! Or just any tips in general!! Anyone Leaving a reply, some tips, advice, confidence -boosting, etc. Would be really appreciated!!) Thank you all, and happy New years!!!
Went through all and recovered from half. These videos are amazing to look back on and reflect to ensure that I have made it far and still have much more to work on myself. I understand that these things that have happened in my life shape part of my life, but are not the end all for me. I can still grow and not let the past define me.
This is good stuff... Thank you. I feel most of these to varying degrees. The feeling of isolation is crushing!
Thank you for this videos! They do really help! I think this vid was a wakeup call for me to reach for my loved ones and a mental health professional to help in my healing process! 😌🙃
Such a Great video! Thank you so much for taking the time to create this. Happy new year, authors an everyone reading!
Nailed it! I'm 58 years old and still trying to work thru my issues.
I clearly have boundaries, conflict, and majorly isolation as my demons, thank you for the insightful video!
I wasn't expecting to nearly fit all of the signs to some unresolved emotional trauma. Because my emotions nowadays are barely around. I'm mostly empty and numb if I don't watch something I enjoy or get interested in.
I'm only a young adult but even though I knew I was kind of fucked in the head, I didn't actually think it was to this degree though. Thanks for letting me know and teaching me more about psychology.
yo, earliest ive ever been, love you guys. Keep up the amazing work!!!
BROO mannnn the last point LEGIT made me cry uncontrollably
This video is what I’ve needed for my whole life, why hasn’t anyone told me this stuff before 😭.
Timestamps
1). Conditional love 0:22
2). Boundaries 1:14
3). Conflict 2:16
4). Validation 3:16
5). Avoidance 4:14
6). Isolation 5:00
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a great day💚💚💚💚💚💚
I've dealt with trauma my whole life, but for the past 9 months, I've been living in an extremely abusive household. My roommate has been filming me and listening in on my private phone conversations, financially abusing me, gaslighting, and backing me into corners to berate me for literally hours. The kicker is that every time in the past I've tried to explain things to her, she has told me that I don't matter and whatever I say doesn't matter. This woman tried to physically attack me on Thanksgiving, and I've been locked in my room ever since, afraid for my safety.
But in four days, I'm moving into my own place.
Right now, I'm freaking out because everything is hitting me so hard all at once thi very moment.
I don't know if I can heal from this, but I so badly want to.
nailed me. im working hard on myself, but definitely been on the emotional bus for this.
wonderfully STRAIGHT, TO THE POINT !! THANK YOU !!!
It's so calming listening to you
This is a brutal case of "all of the above" for me, down to half of the concrete examples. I know that with a lot of these self-diagnose things, it's very easy to talk yourself into thinking it applies to you, when all of your experiences would apply to almost everyone. But this is very much spot on and these are extremely noticeable traits about me that come up multiple times a day. People have pointed them out as well. It regularly gets me into trouble. I wonder what it's about, because while I did go through some tough times, some of it happened 15 years ago. I don't think it still bothers me at this point, and hasn't for a long time. It's hard to remember a time when I wasn't like that, so I really assumed (and still kind of assume) that's just my personality.
You are incredible, we need more people like you on the internet
I find it interesting that I see a new upload after I feel so terrible
Thank you
This was me my whole life i would just want to be appreciated but no one would even if i would do some thing for them.. Thanks for helping me out
I relate to the examples mentioned in (3)- Conflict & (6)- Isolation so much :-)
I’ve been isolating myself and I want to make a connection with friends but they aren’t free a lot of the time and it makes me upset seeing them now, your channel helps me looks away from all this, thank you
I do recognize these things in me and I will try to make myself aware that I’m going through this. Thank you for this so I can keep up with my mental health.
I think i am, i lost pretty much everythin
Spent Christmas and Silvester Alone ...
Cried and cried
My First Family died and my dad abandoned me
I need to accept the fact that I'll never be perfect.
This channel put a lot of effort in everything, and i appreciate it very much and hope that it get a lot of views in 2023
Definitely have something that I'm not dealing with. Keep wanting to do everything else and keep missing parts of the video. Apparently my brain doesn't want to deal with it right now. Looks like we'll have to try again in a little while.
Good stuff as always!
Woah I don't know that I have trauma I have that all
Yeah I felt I've been through all of these things on this list and it's difficult to deal with him
Wow 10 million :O last time I saw one of these videos they just crossed the 5 million mark
I realized I recognised myself in all of these steps. All of them. I'm so glad I started seeing a therapist in the last months, I needed it more than I thought.
I have all of these problems, but not all the terms. I am sure I’m a people pleaser and feel like I need to do the best. I will be sure to try some of these thing! Thank you for this helpful video. 😊
Ur videos have helped me my mental problems thank u very much 💙💛
I was there once upon a time .
Now after accepting myself making myself push little by little I made it after 5 years.
I feel very confident now. Ye i overcame all things mentioned here. Sometimes these situations can jump back in our life. Now I also know how to handle it accepting yes things can change and time too. ❤️ Love to all who read this. Happy New year 2023 friends. ❤️
Hey!! You are doing great keep going 💕
How?
Thank you so much. I’ve been watching some of your videos and they help me understand so much more about myself. When I watch these videos i figure out what’s wrong with me and try to fix it before i put in the back of my head again, thank you so much again.
The joy of adding the 1,000th like was amazing
Ok ima watch the video now
I feel as though I isolate myself because recently every time I turn around someone is coming to me with a problem that I have to fix right now (it's not always that urgent but when you have 5 people coming up to you one after another with a problem you start to feel that way and the hardest part is when you CAN'T fix the problem and that person keeps complaining about it either to you or while you are within earshot) Another reason I don't socialize very much is because I find it hard to find something to talk about, especially when I would rather be alone listening to music, playing a game, or even doing some chores I've been putting off because I'm too tired after work to do them.
It's devastating how much I relate to all of this.
I just love you guys for helping me and other people with these things
Question that's been on my mind
Why do I feel more confident when I think no one notices or cares about me, I also usually become more aggressive when I feel that way
I feel like something like this is going on with my brother since he has basically been very silent and shut in his room for multiple months now… My entire family knows somethings up and my parents have tried to do some things but it still worries me. I try to be there for my brother as much as I think he needs but isn’t there anything else I could do?
These videos are quite helpful. I’m so glad I watch this channel. Also this was posted on my birthday, so that’s really special to me.
Happy birthday from days ago 🥳🎉🥳🎉 🥳
@@David-yr4fq Thanks David.
That explains all of my behavioral pattern.
Thank you. I should get back to my alcohol addiction.
Love ur vids!