I stumbled upon an EFT therapist after trying a couple of other therapists throughout the years with some success. But this.. EFT changed my life and relationships! I did not know it was possible to be so understood. Suddenly it all made sense. It really was one of the greatest epiphanies of my life. Thank you so so much.
I benefited from hearing this summary of EFT. You speak clearly, slowly, and thoroughly. Your concepts here are also simple and illustrative. I wasn't confused at all, and I could picture your monologue actually happening in a hypothetical session. Wonderful video to gain competence in EFT!
So beautifully explained. I'm ready to take a training course. As a society, we've lost the 'art' of emotional intimacy. Or maybe we never had it much, and need it desperately now as we distract ourselves (technologically) with everything but our most precious relationships.
As an MFT student learning about EFT this week, this video was amazing, I also love your video explaining the Tango and Bowtie (found on another channel). Thank you.
Thanks Sue never heard about but the insights are breathtaking. What a fresh start for couple counselling. I will be using it to help my clients. Please keep up the good work and keep sharing with us the new trends in counselling as we minister to our people. God bless you for the great work and increase you. I appreciate you before our Heavenly Father.
Wow, imagine being able to relate to each other like this. Maybe one day I could try a relationship again. This would be helpful for a couple thinking about a long term committment. ( pre marriage counselling).
@@fairwearth690 🤣🤣 YOU will bow before the Lord Jesus one day. You need help for your arrogance in believing you don’t need Jesus Christ. Bible calls you a fool.
I just got the offer to co-leader the hold me tight workshop for my first time. I am so lucky to be a student intern, who has the opportunity to work intensively well supervised with this successful modality. Even more I am looking forward to being a couple therapist and help individuals, course and families to be happy in their families and content and full of self-confidence as individuals.
I feel so grateful for your work. I would not have even thought about doing couples work if it wasn't for learning EFT-C. Now I'm finding out that I LOVE couple's work. I'm in the AEDP camp and most of my peers are EFT certified and several are trainers in EFT. Thank you for this work, it works!
I also am certified in EFT, and I'm interested in getting a bit of basic training in AEDP -- one of the EFT trainers said the training from AEDP fits well into the "parts work" portion of EFT-C.
my question is what if the individual has a moderate amount if narcissistic traits or BPD? Does that negate or complicate this? I recognize this helps people get more intone with their own emotions however my concern is about managing realistic expectations in general and especially for people @ a certain age and extensive background. Any response would be appreciated.
First off, people with narcissistic traits are not the same as people with BPD. They are not the same thing at all. BPD is caused by severe neglect or abuse as a child. People with BPD often have an anxious attachment style because of their intense fear of abandonment, they have intense emotional responses, and are very sensitive. It's a very misunderstood disorder. EFT is actually very helpful for people with BPD, because it can tap into awareness of emotional responses. People can be cured of BPD if they no longer meet the 7 criteria of self harm and other maladaptive behavior. If you read Sue's book, it's kind of about imposing almost a parental type bond with your partner to help form a secure attachment, so it's extremely beneficial to people BPD who have lacked that kind of secure attachment in their early life. People who have narcissistic traits whoever are a whole different game, because therapy of any kind, especially EFT, require transparency and honesty. People who are narcissistic will usually NOT have success in therapy, because they are often lacking in insight on the harm they cause, and they often refuse to take responsibility for their actions. So even getting them in front of a therapist is quite a task, and from there they are usually unsuccessful because the lack of honesty means they will say whatever to "pass the test". If someone is narcissistic, I'm not sure there is much that can be done to change that. There are many successful people narcissistic personality traits.... but they make miserable partners.
as for age/background....EFT works for couples of all ages and backgrounds as long as it is not a background of abuse in the relationship. This book REALLY helps, BUT only if both partners are on board, and only if there is not abuse in the relationship.
Thanks Susan. I'm reading your new book but if I'm honest, I'm having a hard time following. This was helpful in clarifying. I guess us CBT therapist are too stuck in our rigid, cold ways ;)
Emotionally focused therapy, is a conversation between Carl Rogers, the father of experiential therapy, Salvador Minuchin, who is the father of systemic therapy and John Bowlby who founded attachment and bonding
I wonder, the image of the wall… is it possible that one image relates to every person on earth while all of us are so different and had a diverse upbringing, lifestyle and history. Excellent explanation and interesting.
Hi, I am wondering how you decide on which topic you focus on. Here the lady was clearly in focus and her reactions, does the man feel less heard in that sense?
What happens if he goes into shame and anger because it’s too painful for him to hear that his behaviors hurt her so much over so many years. And he feels too much discomfort. And has no interest in taking responsibility for his actions and/or neglect and the impact it had on her.
This is all well and good unless one partner is deliberately faking it with the therapist and the other partner. My ex turned out to be a very convincing liar living a secret double life involving infidelity and addictions. Much later I found out that he matched the DSM diagnostic profile of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This type of therapy can be very wounding. I had a sense that something was wrong early on in the relationship yet was guided to turn against my gut instinct in this type of therapy. It was very confusing to say the least.
Never have therapy with someone with NPD. it's literally like trying to negotiate with a 2yr old, they cannot relate to people. I hope that you can trust yourself now ❤
does this type of therapy rely on tapping because I am looking for individual therapy not couples therapy and I'm not looking to do too much of the body tapping technique. Thank you to anyone who has any advice!
Hello Jen, the Tapping therapy you refer to is Emotional Freedom Technique imo that individuals can work on themselves. Dr Johnson is referring to Emotional Focused Therapy for couples
This is not a good example. The man in this example was clearly hurt, and she completely skipped over this emotions and focused on the woman, and then summarized his emotions away in her following steps. Men have emotions too and the example should have shown her balancing the therapy - first addressing his hurt, then her anger. She speaks of about providing safety, but doesn’t validate the man’s emotions or give him any air time - this does not provide safety. I appreciate the EFT therapy approach, but this is not a good example.
There's many different therapies in their. All truth is God's truth and good models incorporate some of this truth. I see more CBT thank anything else in the Bible (e.g. Psalm 42:5). I guess in a wierd way, Rogerian unconditional positive regard is Central to the Gospel; it just adds, you can't stay as you are.
The greatest need for any couple is to make Jesus Christ the center of their relationship. That’s how God Almighty designed it to be. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit, given to everyone that trusts Christ as their Lord and Savior, that transforms marriages. EFT is fine, but incomplete without Jesus as the focal point.
In many cases each is wrapped up in secret sins, and they don't give a damn about how they are offending God. Self-centeredness outside or inside marriage is evidence of spiritual dearth. If a person isn't emotionally whole they can create hell for their partner.
I stumbled upon an EFT therapist after trying a couple of other therapists throughout the years with some success. But this.. EFT changed my life and relationships! I did not know it was possible to be so understood. Suddenly it all made sense. It really was one of the greatest epiphanies of my life. Thank you so so much.
We need more Sue's in the world!!!
Read this in a textbook.... way more meaning conveyed in this short video. Thank you.
I benefited from hearing this summary of EFT. You speak clearly, slowly, and thoroughly. Your concepts here are also simple and illustrative. I wasn't confused at all, and I could picture your monologue actually happening in a hypothetical session. Wonderful video to gain competence in EFT!
Monica Thirant I did listen on 1.5x speed to make it natural. She speaks too slowly for me
So beautifully explained. I'm ready to take a training course. As a society, we've lost the 'art' of emotional intimacy. Or maybe we never had it much, and need it desperately now as we distract ourselves (technologically) with everything but our most precious relationships.
Dr. Sue, Thank you so much indeed for providing us with this remarkable explanation.
As an MFT student learning about EFT this week, this video was amazing, I also love your video explaining the Tango and Bowtie (found on another channel). Thank you.
Same here! We got this! 💪🏿😊
Thanks Sue never heard about but the insights are breathtaking. What a fresh start for couple counselling. I will be using it to help my clients. Please keep up the good work and keep sharing with us the new trends in counselling as we minister to our people. God bless you for the great work and increase you. I appreciate you before our Heavenly Father.
Wow, imagine being able to relate to each other like this. Maybe one day I could try a relationship again. This would be helpful for a couple thinking about a long term committment. ( pre marriage counselling).
This video clarified the EFT model of therapy, I can't wait to attend the EFT Externship seminar in September2019.
Dear Dr. Sue, thank you so much for the information. EFT is one of the most effective therapy which I use for my client
Sublime explanation. Great examples. Sounds like a very empowering and effective therapeutic approach.
This is such a powerful video. Thank you for making this Dr. Sue!
This is an excellent video describing Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples.
I think this is the type of therapy i need to save my relationship. Thank you Dr. Johnson!
You need Christ more than anything else. We all do.
Chist and Therapy...It's a Win-Win!!
@@AmericaFirst1963 You need to stop projecting your religious beliefs onto other people, and get help for your control issues.
@@fairwearth690 🤣🤣 YOU will bow before the Lord Jesus one day. You need help for your arrogance in believing you don’t need Jesus Christ. Bible calls you a fool.
I just got the offer to co-leader the hold me tight workshop for my first time. I am so lucky to be a student intern, who has the opportunity to work intensively well supervised with this successful modality. Even more I am looking forward to being a couple therapist and help individuals, course and families to be happy in their families and content and full of self-confidence as individuals.
AMAZING, so smart, so true. thank you!
I feel so grateful for your work. I would not have even thought about doing couples work if it wasn't for learning EFT-C. Now I'm finding out that I LOVE couple's work. I'm in the AEDP camp and most of my peers are EFT certified and several are trainers in EFT. Thank you for this work, it works!
I also am certified in EFT, and I'm interested in getting a bit of basic training in AEDP -- one of the EFT trainers said the training from AEDP fits well into the "parts work" portion of EFT-C.
@@bwfidler It's worth it! Another great cousin approach to EFT individual
Thanks for offering your testimony. I’m feeling exactly where you are at the moment. ❤️
Thanks for sharing this video 👍 great video 👍
Thank you for this video, much appreciated!
Thank you
This is profound!
Good information
Brilliant overview.
Great overview of EFT! Thanks Sue!!
Thank you for this video Doctor!
So sad she passed this year. I was barely introduced to her modality. 😢
Read More information about Emotion Focused Therapy
www.icliniq.com/articles/emotional-and-mental-health/emotion-focused-therapy
Fantastic Dr Johnson - such a powerful summary & so impactful:)
Welcome ❤️👍
Amazing!
Very insightful and helpful for use in couples therapy
my question is what if the individual has a moderate amount if narcissistic traits or BPD? Does that negate or complicate this? I recognize this helps people get more intone with their own emotions however my concern is about managing realistic expectations in general and especially for people @ a certain age and extensive background. Any response would be appreciated.
First off, people with narcissistic traits are not the same as people with BPD. They are not the same thing at all. BPD is caused by severe neglect or abuse as a child. People with BPD often have an anxious attachment style because of their intense fear of abandonment, they have intense emotional responses, and are very sensitive. It's a very misunderstood disorder. EFT is actually very helpful for people with BPD, because it can tap into awareness of emotional responses. People can be cured of BPD if they no longer meet the 7 criteria of self harm and other maladaptive behavior. If you read Sue's book, it's kind of about imposing almost a parental type bond with your partner to help form a secure attachment, so it's extremely beneficial to people BPD who have lacked that kind of secure attachment in their early life.
People who have narcissistic traits whoever are a whole different game, because therapy of any kind, especially EFT, require transparency and honesty. People who are narcissistic will usually NOT have success in therapy, because they are often lacking in insight on the harm they cause, and they often refuse to take responsibility for their actions. So even getting them in front of a therapist is quite a task, and from there they are usually unsuccessful because the lack of honesty means they will say whatever to "pass the test". If someone is narcissistic, I'm not sure there is much that can be done to change that. There are many successful people narcissistic personality traits.... but they make miserable partners.
as for age/background....EFT works for couples of all ages and backgrounds as long as it is not a background of abuse in the relationship. This book REALLY helps, BUT only if both partners are on board, and only if there is not abuse in the relationship.
That’s a great question and super helpful answers. Thanks folks.
All sounds good in a meeting. What about when you get home?
I'm about to start my first LMFT practicum @ a placement that specializes in EFT. I'm looking forward to it.
Thanks Susan. I'm reading your new book but if I'm honest, I'm having a hard time following. This was helpful in clarifying. I guess us CBT therapist are too stuck in our rigid, cold ways ;)
Emotionally focused therapy, is a conversation between Carl Rogers, the father of experiential therapy, Salvador Minuchin, who is the father of systemic therapy and John Bowlby who founded attachment and bonding
Can I get EFT therapy for myself without having a partner?
what a wonderful overview! fantastic
I wonder, the image of the wall… is it possible that one image relates to every person on earth while all of us are so different and had a diverse upbringing, lifestyle and history. Excellent explanation and interesting.
Hi, I am wondering how you decide on which topic you focus on. Here the lady was clearly in focus and her reactions, does the man feel less heard in that sense?
Do you think it is ok to have. Individual therapy at the same time as couple therapy?
So helpful, Thank you!
What happens if he goes into shame and anger because it’s too painful for him to hear that his behaviors hurt her so much over so many years. And he feels too much discomfort. And has no interest in taking responsibility for his actions and/or neglect and the impact it had on her.
Does this therapy work with dismissive avoidant’s?
And much more...
For a moment I thought it was Meryl Streep
It is Meryl
@@eminkuliev2466 🤣🤣🤣
I loved you in Battlestar Galactica!
I can't stop laughing!!!
you're a hero
It’s very hard to find EFT people near us right outside Seattle area. Hopefully we can find someone soon but there’s a therapist shortage here. :(
Maybe you could look online? Some EFT therapists offer online therapy. I live in China and just found a licensed EFT therapist based in the US.
This is all well and good unless one partner is deliberately faking it with the therapist and the other partner. My ex turned out to be a very convincing liar living a secret double life involving infidelity and addictions. Much later I found out that he matched the DSM diagnostic profile of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This type of therapy can be very wounding. I had a sense that something was wrong early on in the relationship yet was guided to turn against my gut instinct in this type of therapy. It was very confusing to say the least.
Never have therapy with someone with NPD. it's literally like trying to negotiate with a 2yr old, they cannot relate to people. I hope that you can trust yourself now ❤
@@CB19087qqQq😊Q[[[qqQqq1[q1Q😊😊
😊
😊😊
😊
does this type of therapy rely on tapping because I am looking for individual therapy not couples therapy and I'm not looking to do too much of the body tapping technique. Thank you to anyone who has any advice!
Hello Jen, the Tapping therapy you refer to is Emotional Freedom Technique imo that individuals can work on themselves.
Dr Johnson is referring to Emotional Focused Therapy for couples
EFT works.
Jaquan Pike
I thought Rogers was the father of person centred therapy
He is
I dont know but I cannot waste time about discussions on emotions. I have children to feed.
Escape From Torkov
This is not a good example. The man in this example was clearly hurt, and she completely skipped over this emotions and focused on the woman, and then summarized his emotions away in her following steps. Men have emotions too and the example should have shown her balancing the therapy - first addressing his hurt, then her anger. She speaks of about providing safety, but doesn’t validate the man’s emotions or give him any air time - this does not provide safety. I appreciate the EFT therapy approach, but this is not a good example.
Read the Bible, Genesis chapter 3, ETF is all in there
There's many different therapies in their. All truth is God's truth and good models incorporate some of this truth. I see more CBT thank anything else in the Bible (e.g. Psalm 42:5). I guess in a wierd way, Rogerian unconditional positive regard is Central to the Gospel; it just adds, you can't stay as you are.
EFT needs some more lively and better produced videos to introduce absolute beginners to the process. TBH - this is dry and boring.
The greatest need for any couple is to make Jesus Christ the center of their relationship. That’s how God Almighty designed it to be. It’s the power of the Holy Spirit, given to everyone that trusts Christ as their Lord and Savior, that transforms marriages. EFT is fine, but incomplete without Jesus as the focal point.
In many cases each is wrapped up in secret sins, and they don't give a damn about how they are offending God.
Self-centeredness outside or inside marriage is evidence of spiritual dearth. If a person isn't emotionally whole they can create hell for their partner.
It’s absolute BS! A way to empty clients pockets with the false hope that they’ll get help.