I want to give genuine feedback from a cinephile / filmmaker / media professional perspective since I really like your style and consistency with these shorts! These are just my opinions, I hope you don't take my words too harshly. All the cinematography aspects are spot on with camera movement, lighting, grading, sound, music etc. What I would watch out for is too many "in your face" or literal elements in storytelling. This reduces the active interpretation of the viewer and thus creates disengagement. In the context of this short this pertains mostly to the dialogue and editing. One of the most direct examples is the mother walking in the woods drinking straight from a Jack Daniel's bottle when we have just heard that she was an alcoholic. This doesn't feel genuine or real (it's too direct) - you would think that the mother is ashamed of this ailment and would want to protect the son from her bad ways. Maybe create a scene where something is a little off... the mother stumbles a little where she shouldn't, a slight slurring of a word here or there. Things that we all recognise as results of inebriation and in the context (child's viewpoint) give us an uneasy feeling. The dialogue has great moments but also a lot of unnecessary lines which could be left for interpretation or acted non-verbally. Things like "you really think so" in retort to the dad saying something the son disagrees with could be replaced with the son looking down a little disappointed and cutting back to the dad having a little bit less confidence in what he's saying. This creates tension and gets the viewer to wait for the next line. If they talk all the time and explain every emotion with clearly underlined expressions, it feels, at least in my opinion, less genuine. Not everyone can express every feeling that they have in clear words. If we leave the writing as is, the film could also benefit from tighter cutting. In several parts it feels a little bit dragged on. Sections of dialogue could be energised with faster cuts, emphasising e.g. the heated emotions of the characters. Then slow down again for a reveal etc. All the building blocks for great drama + comedy are there and I'm eagerly waiting for your next films.
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Thank you 🙏
I was just wondering when you'd drop another masterpiece. Thought it had been awhile. Most underrated filmmaker online. Period.
Fantastic breakdown guys. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience.
Great!!!! Very good!!!!!
Good stuff man!!!! Thanks for this. It's giving me ideas!
Im impressed
Such great break down
Amazing breakdown! Way to go, Axia!
Thanks for always being so great to work with!
Great work
thanks! learned a lot 😍
fighissimo
Love it - both the film and the breakdown - keep 'em coming Axia + team!
also davinci for the win
I want to give genuine feedback from a cinephile / filmmaker / media professional perspective since I really like your style and consistency with these shorts! These are just my opinions, I hope you don't take my words too harshly.
All the cinematography aspects are spot on with camera movement, lighting, grading, sound, music etc.
What I would watch out for is too many "in your face" or literal elements in storytelling. This reduces the active interpretation of the viewer and thus creates disengagement. In the context of this short this pertains mostly to the dialogue and editing. One of the most direct examples is the mother walking in the woods drinking straight from a Jack Daniel's bottle when we have just heard that she was an alcoholic. This doesn't feel genuine or real (it's too direct) - you would think that the mother is ashamed of this ailment and would want to protect the son from her bad ways. Maybe create a scene where something is a little off... the mother stumbles a little where she shouldn't, a slight slurring of a word here or there. Things that we all recognise as results of inebriation and in the context (child's viewpoint) give us an uneasy feeling.
The dialogue has great moments but also a lot of unnecessary lines which could be left for interpretation or acted non-verbally. Things like "you really think so" in retort to the dad saying something the son disagrees with could be replaced with the son looking down a little disappointed and cutting back to the dad having a little bit less confidence in what he's saying. This creates tension and gets the viewer to wait for the next line. If they talk all the time and explain every emotion with clearly underlined expressions, it feels, at least in my opinion, less genuine. Not everyone can express every feeling that they have in clear words.
If we leave the writing as is, the film could also benefit from tighter cutting. In several parts it feels a little bit dragged on. Sections of dialogue could be energised with faster cuts, emphasising e.g. the heated emotions of the characters. Then slow down again for a reveal etc.
All the building blocks for great drama + comedy are there and I'm eagerly waiting for your next films.
Professor Axia!! 🎉⭐️
Love it! Such great work Axia & team!!
Loved the breakdown! CAme here from the film! Your team gets better each time!
это топ уровень