James Acaster On The Absurdity Of The British Empire

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  • Опубліковано 11 лис 2019
  • The hilarious James Acaster takes centre stage with his stand up special about 'Old Blighty' and how we still showcase the property we stole from other countries in glass boxes in museums.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 8 тис.

  • @jainish1556
    @jainish1556 3 роки тому +34296

    UK is the largest supplier of Independence days in the world.

    • @davestationuk7374
      @davestationuk7374 3 роки тому +837

      We came ,we saw ,we conquered and gave back
      And you got a holiday.
      You’re welcome 😂

    • @anupsrivatsa1808
      @anupsrivatsa1808 3 роки тому +180

      They created the demand also😂

    • @xuan.1611
      @xuan.1611 3 роки тому +41

      Guess America isnt the best in freedom

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 3 роки тому +132

      @@deejin25 someone missed history classes. You have to be American with that confused view of ww2 and the post events. 🤣😂

    • @raquille1
      @raquille1 3 роки тому +76

      ​@@deejin25 im guessing you are American- conveniently forgot that the US was too chicken shit to join the war in the first place!

  • @lacountess
    @lacountess 3 роки тому +22504

    I remember visiting the Acropolis museum in Greece and every set of objects was missing a piece and the answer to the question “where is it?” was always “at the British Museum.”

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 3 роки тому +652

      Good job really otherwise the answer would have been where is it? "Smashed to pieces and lost."

    • @user-yg4tr5fp3s
      @user-yg4tr5fp3s 3 роки тому +2732

      @@dominicomucci3014 Well, no... The answer would probably be "at the Acropolis museum in Greece"

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 3 роки тому +223

      @@user-yg4tr5fp3s no it would have been. It's smashed to bits. Or it's in someone's private collection where no one can see it.

    • @someoneonearth1617
      @someoneonearth1617 3 роки тому +354

      Jolly Infidel No they didn’t... most Greek artefacts we have were looted during a war with the Ottomans

    • @Alex_Deam
      @Alex_Deam 3 роки тому +1498

      @@dominicomucci3014 absolute nonsense. I've been to both the British Museum and the Acropolis Museum, the half of the Parthenon Marbles in the Acropolis Museum are exactly as well preserved as the half that was stolen and placed in the British Museum - with the added bonus that the ones in Greece are in a glass-walled room overlooking the Acropolis itself, their original context. You're talking shite.

  • @hedgehog3180
    @hedgehog3180 9 місяців тому +1476

    My favourite exhibit in the British Museum is a greek statue missing its head with a plaque next to it angrily complaining about a Danish captain who "stole" it without a hint of irony or self awareness. You can find the head in the Danish National Museum and its plaque just says that the rest of the statue is in the British Museum.

  • @nayan7207
    @nayan7207 2 роки тому +1207

    I've got a British Museum joke but it was stolen.

    • @williamsanders6114
      @williamsanders6114 Рік тому +23

      Well played.

    • @ferociouslioness
      @ferociouslioness Рік тому +8

      LMAOOO I SEE WHAT U DID THERE

    • @snailmailmagic1133
      @snailmailmagic1133 Рік тому +9

      Hahaha maybe you should check British museum 😂

    • @ukbloke28
      @ukbloke28 9 місяців тому

      old and dusty as the artefacts.

    • @beeharbour
      @beeharbour 2 місяці тому

      @@ukbloke28 Say what you will about the British Museum, I've never seen a spot of dust anywhere.

  • @Edgea22
    @Edgea22 3 роки тому +10493

    Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum!
    Confused indigenous person: Or it can just go back in my house

    • @VincentGonzalezVeg
      @VincentGonzalezVeg 3 роки тому +326

      Yeah he's a grave robber

    • @seanderoiste4661
      @seanderoiste4661 3 роки тому +13

      Vincent Gonzalez lol why are you so triggered it’s not our fault the English are colonisers fuck off you triggered Tory

    • @jamesmcpherson8599
      @jamesmcpherson8599 3 роки тому +250

      @@seanderoiste4661 ?

    • @akselevensen2763
      @akselevensen2763 3 роки тому +298

      @@seanderoiste4661 Speaking of triggered...

    • @seanderoiste4661
      @seanderoiste4661 3 роки тому +16

      Aksel Evensen ye English have too much pride for yourselves it’s hilarious taking the piss out of ye is easy ye are all so sensitive

  • @SeanMusicFreak
    @SeanMusicFreak 3 роки тому +23167

    My dude really color coordinated his entire wardrobe to compliment his hair. Respect.

    • @KevoKevo1986
      @KevoKevo1986 3 роки тому +679

      And that background

    • @outofAlog
      @outofAlog 3 роки тому +34

      Ginja Ninjaaa fuck off!!!!
      Does that translate????

    • @outofAlog
      @outofAlog 3 роки тому +215

      It’s the color of every Brits soul

    • @oranheaney6110
      @oranheaney6110 3 роки тому +262

      It was a 4 part Netflix stand up special, each was colour coordinated to his 4 emotions.

    • @M-Manie
      @M-Manie 3 роки тому +52

      Colour *

  • @lucieptacnikova8039
    @lucieptacnikova8039 3 роки тому +961

    "The secret ingredient is crime."

  • @moeezS
    @moeezS 3 роки тому +321

    "We're still looking at it!" had me cackling.

  • @jjgasp3186
    @jjgasp3186 4 роки тому +9366

    you fools, he doesn't HAVE a colour scheme, he IS THE colour scheme

    • @freebeerfordworkers
      @freebeerfordworkers 3 роки тому +27

      In the early 19th century the Ashanti wiped out a small British force in modern Ghana and made the Governor and his deputies skulls into gold mounted drinking cups. Now those are really tasteful ornaments to show and use for that special guest.

    • @jelly2584
      @jelly2584 3 роки тому +24

      @@freebeerfordworkers my dad was from Ghana. I don’t know why that’s relevant it’s just Ghana never gets brought up so I got excited.

    • @wearethechange128
      @wearethechange128 3 роки тому +16

      99.96% chance he’s waring mustard coloured boxers

    • @edwinamendelssohn5129
      @edwinamendelssohn5129 Рік тому +1

      More like he is the scheme

    • @edmunddianga8641
      @edmunddianga8641 2 місяці тому

      Make it .99​@@wearethechange128

  • @fistfullofsharpenings5611
    @fistfullofsharpenings5611 4 роки тому +14162

    "I don't fink so; We're still looking at it." Britain

    • @wisconsinfarmer4742
      @wisconsinfarmer4742 4 роки тому +79

      That one got my heartiest guffaw.

    • @gold_leaf0702
      @gold_leaf0702 4 роки тому +178

      You made a typo
      "Oi daw't fink sow, weh stiw lookin' a' i'."

    • @carterishere3851
      @carterishere3851 4 роки тому +67

      Kristoff Cain I guess your American

    • @UnYin99
      @UnYin99 4 роки тому +55

      ​@@carterishere3851 I believe that you're right. You're a good guesser and you're a keen observer of your environment. You're nobody's fool, and you're sure getting your licks in as well. That's why it's too bad that your grammar isn't your strong suit, but maybe English isn't your first language.

    • @carterishere3851
      @carterishere3851 4 роки тому +11

      UnYin99 Is there a point? , communication is about making a point and making someone understand what i or a individual is saying also I’m not going to write a deep inspirational paragraph about my thoughts of a person ethnicity when I could just say a sentence.
      When a comment section is full of these typos or grammar mistakes but they just want to state there point and a reason, not everyone is going to be better or on the same level of you.

  • @tooba1235
    @tooba1235 2 роки тому +1391

    In india.. a lot of ancient forts have missing things like a wall with cavities that are supposed to be filled with gemstones , a golden throne or a famous crown.. good to see a British person acknowledge these things

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 Рік тому

      Didn't the Mughal empire steel the whole country?

    • @kraai98
      @kraai98 Рік тому +69

      It's like serial killers keeping jewelry of their victims. Sickening.

    • @michaelplunkett8059
      @michaelplunkett8059 Рік тому +25

      Like the Mughals never conquered anything. How

    • @tiestokygoericprydz3963
      @tiestokygoericprydz3963 Рік тому

      @@kraai98 not all can be stolen unless you know what happened at the time

    • @mathuraditya
      @mathuraditya Рік тому +67

      ​@@michaelplunkett8059 mughals conquered and ruled india from india. they didn't steal the stuff and then nope out. what they did can be called destruction of stuff at best, which the british did in addition to stealing anyway.
      also, even if the mughals stole, that wouldn't have given the right to steal to the british. two wrongs don't make a right. just because someone else is doing a crime doesn't mean you should do it too.

  • @TheTailors1
    @TheTailors1 4 місяці тому +8

    I love at :17 when he bends over the stool then looks behind him to make sure the coast is clear before saying "and we got all the swank didn't we?"

  • @capedcrusader7812
    @capedcrusader7812 3 роки тому +16419

    "The sun doesn't set in the British empire because even god doesn't trust the British in the dark" -

    • @snowtfl5617
      @snowtfl5617 3 роки тому +191

      😭😭😂 that was a good one

    • @zenjeongrebelle1808
      @zenjeongrebelle1808 3 роки тому +75

      Snow TFL it’s not a joke😔

    • @bosgaurus1
      @bosgaurus1 3 роки тому +391

      Quoting Dr. Shashi Tharoor from his debate speech at Oxford Union, eh?

    • @bosgaurus1
      @bosgaurus1 3 роки тому +165

      @@jamesdashper1316, imagine someone who is a Brit and has made an entire comedy routine on the subject of worldwide economy changing theft, murder, and rapine by his own people, and someone of potentially any culture, including Brit, injects a comment about the same subject and immediately discovers butthurt.
      Also, funny how the word Brit, as used by some, totally ignores the fact that the label Brit also includes all of the minorities living in Britain.
      Naturally, those who live outside of Britain are able to discern a bit more quickly than many living inside, that the population called "Brit" is actually itself a small minority in the population of the world.

    • @johnpears9558
      @johnpears9558 3 роки тому +95

      @James Dashper being British isn’t a race it’s a nationality millions of different ethic groups live in the UK assuming they’re all white is kinda idiotic.

  • @venlasalo4767
    @venlasalo4767 3 роки тому +6905

    Britain: So you want to take from me what I have rightfully stolen?

    • @MrConstantine02
      @MrConstantine02 3 роки тому +24

      @Anglus Patria well to be fair you could have NOT invaded other places in the first place.

    • @adriebaby4137
      @adriebaby4137 3 роки тому +70

      Inconceivable!

    • @finlaymackenzie6678
      @finlaymackenzie6678 3 роки тому +42

      ***ENGLAND!!!!! NOT Britain. The Scottish and Welsh are nothing like the English. We hate them as much as everybody else does!!!

    • @donkmeister
      @donkmeister 3 роки тому +63

      @@finlaymackenzie6678 Dude, stop the hate. You only speak for yourself. I'm Welsh, I don't hate the English. Why would I hate an entire nation of people? I've only met some of them. If you must hate, hate specific people based on their own deeds and actions. For what it's worth I know Scots who are married to English people, so not all Scots hate the English either.

    • @SleepySir
      @SleepySir 3 роки тому +9

      @@donkmeister I mean most Irish like me hate the english with every fibre of our being, we have the right to though lol

  • @brianfoley4328
    @brianfoley4328 2 роки тому +53

    "We're still looking at it"...brilliant.

  • @myloabraham-rt5bw
    @myloabraham-rt5bw 6 місяців тому +8

    “Not right now selfish” gets me every time

  • @gachaelephant6841
    @gachaelephant6841 3 роки тому +5273

    We didn’t steal it, we borrowed it...
    Without asking...
    Or the intent to give it back...

    • @sallylee4924
      @sallylee4924 3 роки тому +22

      Also, British law prevents museums from returning artifacts.

    • @patthonsirilim5739
      @patthonsirilim5739 3 роки тому +38

      @Unkwon Malaysian Guy yep nothing like gunboat diplomacy

    • @Bladerxdxi
      @Bladerxdxi 3 роки тому +21

      Burrowed Sounds too much Like consent. Thats Not british

    • @Tresorthas
      @Tresorthas 3 роки тому +8

      *borrowed, "burrowed" is to put it in a hole in the ground

    • @gachaelephant6841
      @gachaelephant6841 3 роки тому +12

      @Tresorthas The irony is that I actually spelt it as borrowed first then thought “Nah that looks wrong it’s probably burrowed”

  • @konomexplays
    @konomexplays 4 роки тому +11298

    The British took an Indigenous man's head (they killed him) in 1833 and wouldn't give it back to his family until about 2010.
    Not even a cool heirloom. A literal part of a corpse. Finders keepers, you can't have your granddads head back.

    • @86upsmaya
      @86upsmaya 4 роки тому +859

      Yep, just last month they returned some remains of Sri Lankan vedda people, our indigenous people. Was grossed out to learn that they had them at a museum

    • @bobjonn9182
      @bobjonn9182 4 роки тому +28

      KonomexPlays. Where is that? What indigenous?

    • @konomexplays
      @konomexplays 4 роки тому +376

      @@bobjonn9182 Australian. His name was Yagan. I met his great grandchild.

    • @bobjonn9182
      @bobjonn9182 4 роки тому +201

      @@konomexplays oh interesting story 'Yagan' was a warrior and part of the resistance against the British.
      Also was wanted for murder & theft. Escaped capture.
      Was classed as a man of high degree under tribal law.

    • @TheDaverobinson
      @TheDaverobinson 4 роки тому +11

      Ha! Yeah - that was a good one!

  • @sinceslicedbread7422
    @sinceslicedbread7422 Рік тому +166

    This now is one of my favourite skits. Well observed. Well done.

    • @xythrial
      @xythrial Рік тому +1

      I basically have it memorized I rewatch it so often

    • @robot_spider
      @robot_spider 8 місяців тому +1

      I hope you've seen the whole performance. The bit about British Museum erasers (rubbers) almost broke my brain. I didn't know whether to laugh at the joke, or cry at how beautifully the joke was constructed.

  • @masterxyr
    @masterxyr 2 роки тому +288

    I'd love to see presidents from all over the world just walk in with a bag and take it back.
    "Oh you're going to call the police? good, I'd like to report a theft"

    • @martinnijs8317
      @martinnijs8317 Рік тому +21

      And they have immunity , so they really could do it.....

    • @masterxyr
      @masterxyr Рік тому +15

      @@martinnijs8317 pitty some of the stuff doesn't reaaaaally fit in a bag...

    • @Mackak_
      @Mackak_ Рік тому +9

      @@masterxyr nah you’ve just got small bags

  • @L0stInNeverland
    @L0stInNeverland 4 роки тому +15703

    why am i so attracted to this tired mustard alien man

  • @ncj687
    @ncj687 3 роки тому +10902

    This Weasley is far funnier than the other ones.

  • @bruceevans3476
    @bruceevans3476 11 місяців тому +53

    Hardcore comedy fan for 50+ years, and this is truly gold.
    Thanx James.

    • @robot_spider
      @robot_spider 8 місяців тому +1

      Same here... well, almost 50 years. You see a lot of talented comedians, and a lot of talented story tellers. Making this a 4-part series on Netflix allowed James to show he is both a great story-teller and a great comedian. Makes callbacks and interweaves common threads throughout.

  • @nikparv7
    @nikparv7 Рік тому +275

    As an Indian, I literally just read the title and before it even started playing I'd already liked it and after watching the whole thing I gotta say, it wasn't a wrong move on my part.

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 Рік тому +10

      Are you a descendent of a Mughal war lord or the people they subjugated?

    • @connordrew2634
      @connordrew2634 Рік тому +25

      @@fortuitousthings8606 no, you see. The Indians were a benign, peaceful people, their wealth being obtained not through any morally objectionable means.
      Then, the white man came to the subcontinent and introduced warfare to a race who before this would not hurt a fly. Indians never conquered anyone - they dealt with each other as civilized beings, the artifacts and wealth they possessed having sprouted from the ground some generations before.

    • @samratsm5660
      @samratsm5660 Рік тому

      @@fortuitousthings8606 Proud Hindus (the original community of India) unlike the other invaders!

    • @zyzzsdisciples6707
      @zyzzsdisciples6707 Рік тому

      If it wasn’t for Britain your nation wouldn’t even exist, and now you’re upset about them taking some trinkets, at a time where empire building was accepted? Before Britain came you used to burn widows alive. Even your own intelligentsia would call Britain’s civilising rule the “knife of sugar”

    • @katharineeavan9705
      @katharineeavan9705 Рік тому

      @@connordrew2634 Because if a family is a right chavvy asbo sort, that means it's perfectly acceptable to steal their possessions, starve half of them to death on purpose, kill a couple for kicking off about it, and then use their prized possessions as ornamental headgear to remember the good old times when you could get away with that sort of thing a bit easier.
      Most of those artefacts we stole which they so dearly want back were created hundreds if not thousands of years before we got there. If anyone was mistreated in the gaining of the vast majority of them, it was Indian workers throughout history, historical Indian nations who other historical Indian nations took them from. They aren't some mysterious relics that appeared in the middle of unknown territory only for India to unfairly claim them as its own through pillaging some innocent, nameless but definitely-not-Indian strawmen. This isn't a "we don't know who owned them originally, India stole them and then we stole them off India". We know they originated in India, and even if we didn't, it's not like we're nobly repatriating them to their original owners elsewhere. We know we fucking knicked them, we don't even deny it. We know we don't have any real justification for keeping them other than "we like that we get tourism money off them and it makes us feel like an Empire all over again to flaunt them and know you can't make us give them back". Closest to a valid excuse we have is "if we give YOU your stuff back then we have to give EVERYONE their stuff back, and we really don't want to"

  • @Bhatakti_Hawas
    @Bhatakti_Hawas 4 роки тому +17969

    British Museum is the world's biggest crime scene
    - John Oliver

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 4 роки тому +439

      John Oliver is one of the biggest crimes to comedy

    • @JohnSmith-ki3li
      @JohnSmith-ki3li 4 роки тому +74

      @@DamnedDave agreed.

    • @antislutful
      @antislutful 4 роки тому +89

      @@DamnedDave really? I know he's not that good, but there are more famous but much less funnier than him.

    • @joshuagraham967
      @joshuagraham967 4 роки тому +200

      @@spartand001 Fuck off, it's all true about the museum

    • @joshuagraham967
      @joshuagraham967 4 роки тому +63

      @Jack Smith What part is inaccurate?

  • @Luischocolatier
    @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +8267

    This reminds me there's this roman site here in southern Spain in which you can find a whole roman mosai perfectly conserved except for a perfect circle in which there should be the face of a medusa. In its place there's concrete.
    In the USA, the Smithsonian IIRC, has the mosaic of the face of a medusa in a perfectly round circle, sitting next to a plaque saying it was "found in Spain" as if they hadn't come here, carved it out of the full piece and then plastered it out with concrete.
    Imagine doing that to the Gioconda. All of her except the left eye is on the Louvre, and where the left eye should be there's only tape. Then at the other side of the world, you find a museum in California with a piece of parchment and an eye on it, a plaque next to it saying "Eye of a lady. Found in France"

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +872

      On the other hand, we have a whole Egyptian temple here in Madrid that was taken stone by stone from the site and then assembled whole back again here...

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +430

      But hey, we kept all of the temple instead of taking a column or something

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +519

      I honestly can't decide which one is worse, if taking the whole thing or just breaking a tiny bit so that the rest stays on place and you only get to show a tiny "souvenir" you got

    • @CanelaAguila
      @CanelaAguila 4 роки тому +176

      @Thelondonbadger So you thought it necessary to lecture Spanish people on our history in a completely unrelated discussion?

    • @CanelaAguila
      @CanelaAguila 4 роки тому +35

      @@Luischocolatier Which site in the south is this? Sounds interesting!

  • @Jmvars
    @Jmvars 2 роки тому +65

    Interesting that this should pop up in my recommended since we (Sámi peoples) are currently trying to get a drum that is currently in a Danish museum. It was "confiscated" from a shaman in 1692 that they conveniently also murdered with an axe.

    • @sarsok659
      @sarsok659 2 роки тому +2

      Is there anything we can do to help? a petition or a way to get more awareness?

    • @Jmvars
      @Jmvars 2 роки тому +3

      @@sarsok659 Not that I'm aware of. Supposedly the museum has already agreed, but it's up to the ministry of culture to decide on whether we get it or not.

    • @Kalani_Saiko
      @Kalani_Saiko Рік тому +1

      Reminds me of the aboriginal man they decapitated and stole his head.

    • @LordUnas
      @LordUnas Рік тому

      Did he use the drum to place magic spells on the Danish gentlemen? Because I could see them getting rather pissy about that sort of thing. Maybe they murdered him for some other reason, like he was talking shit about Denmark or something, and afterwards they noticed the drum lying next to the dude’s tent and one of them thought ”that’d make a good souvenir for my kid, who collects stuff that his daddy robbed from ancient cultures during his travels.” Then the kid died of some curse that had been placed on the drum just in case the wrong person got their hands on it, and they put the drum in a museum so that nobody else would pick up the ancient Sami curse. And Denmark are still angry about the curse, so they are keeping the drum just to spite the Sami people, who they blame for turning the Danish language into drunk-sounding gibberish and stealing the top piece of bread from all their sandwiches. It’s probably a logical explanation like that.

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 Рік тому

      Where did he get the drum from?

  • @nickevers9263
    @nickevers9263 2 роки тому +29

    The “understanding words” to “laughing” ratio in this clip is superb

  • @tylerdurden2424
    @tylerdurden2424 4 роки тому +6570

    Is no one addressing the fact that his hair matches his shirt that matches his trousers that match the curtains in the back that all compliment his microphone!!

  • @nz9562
    @nz9562 3 роки тому +5794

    The British said Your not getting it back but you can have a miniature version at the gift shop when you finish staring at it 😂😂😂

    • @spiritusIRATUS
      @spiritusIRATUS 3 роки тому +90

      Aye, for 10 pounds per square inch

    • @sophiaredwood5825
      @sophiaredwood5825 3 роки тому +1

      LOL

    • @Berserker3624
      @Berserker3624 2 роки тому +18

      @@spiritusIRATUS that's highway robbery...on us! We could easily mark up the price to 20 pounds and get the same demand!

    • @andrewberghorn5598
      @andrewberghorn5598 2 роки тому +2

      You can't have it, you can *buy* it

    • @JamesBowmanUK
      @JamesBowmanUK 2 роки тому +17

      "This statue of our king is very, very important to my culture."
      "Well then, for just a tenner you can get an inexact 1/25th scale model of it as a novelty pencil topper, or even a gonk!"

  • @victoriach.6054
    @victoriach.6054 2 роки тому +43

    As a Greek person, thank you

    • @404Dannyboy
      @404Dannyboy 2 роки тому +2

      @Soulja Ian They pike to pretend Britain stole their artifacts when Britain actually bought them off the Ottomans because the Ottomans had planned to destroy them.

    • @EvaPanag100
      @EvaPanag100 2 роки тому +1

      @@404Dannyboy Why hadn't Elgin (the "defender" of art and Marbles of Parthenon) bought all the Parthenon Marbles from the Ottomans while they planned to destroy them? Did also the Greeks pay the Ottomans not to destroy the rest Marbles of the Parthenon and for this reason they left to Greece what Elgin left then after he cut those artifacts in parts and transported to England?

    • @EvaPanag100
      @EvaPanag100 2 роки тому

      @Dan Seddon Please, it is a pity, for a country like the United Kingdom, to allow this injustice to exist with the Parthenon Marbles that Lord Elgin forcibly removed from the whole building because he was given the opportunity due to the Ottoman occupation then, only to earn yesterday / today money from their exploitation. It would be good to realize that for the Greeks it is their breath, their roots, their history and every concept related to democracy, philosophy and the contribution of the Greeks to the creation of western civilization. It would be very kind of the United Kingdom to return the marbles of the Parthenon, to reunite the expatriate Caryatids with the sisters, a beautiful image for the whole universe to see the Parthenon in its entirety.

  • @lucy3653
    @lucy3653 Рік тому +12

    "We're still looking at it!" funniest part of this whole joke

  • @erickruckenberg8716
    @erickruckenberg8716 3 роки тому +4255

    So a British Museum in overly simplified terms would be considered an empire's scrapbook.

    • @unclenogbad1509
      @unclenogbad1509 3 роки тому +22

      Yeah, pretty much.

    • @XX2Media
      @XX2Media 3 роки тому +62

      More like their loot storage, to be honest...

    • @malahammer
      @malahammer 3 роки тому +60

      Or.............the biggest crime scene in the world :)

    • @XX2Media
      @XX2Media 3 роки тому +6

      @@malahammer It could easily be both and cannot be neither.

    • @ef1876
      @ef1876 3 роки тому +43

      A scrapbook but all the scraps have been torn off of other people’s family pictures

  • @shrekdevito1843
    @shrekdevito1843 4 роки тому +8863

    Only James can make it look cool to blend into the background

    • @sunxel3264
      @sunxel3264 4 роки тому +42

      S Wright he/she doesn't seem triggered to me, just not very fond of the military

    • @flops_01
      @flops_01 4 роки тому +92

      Everyone's here talking about camouflage and I'm here like "Omg is that James Marriott?"

    • @raining214
      @raining214 4 роки тому +23

      @@flops_01 James is the superior name clearly.

    • @flops_01
      @flops_01 4 роки тому +1

      Brooklynae yep

    • @MrJackandEmily
      @MrJackandEmily 4 роки тому +1

      @paula cool as fuck 😎

  • @annabellesoe7623
    @annabellesoe7623 3 роки тому +139

    Boy one of ours isn't even at the museum, it's on the Queen's crown 😂 yep we r on a whole another level, if u don't get it, I mean the Ruby on the Queen's crown is from Myanmar (Burma)

    • @shairafaiza7261
      @shairafaiza7261 3 роки тому +18

      the kohinoor diamond for me though

    • @Fidgottio
      @Fidgottio 3 роки тому +12

      @@shairafaiza7261 Ownership of the Koh-i-Noor was signed over to the East India Company by Tej Singh, as part of the Last Treaty of Lahore, then gifted to Queen Victoria. Prior to that it had changed hands many times through war and as a gift. Until someone takes it or it's given as a gift by the British government, it's with its rightful owners

    • @ishitasharma4530
      @ishitasharma4530 3 роки тому +42

      @@Fidgottio yeah it was singned over to the east India Company because they wanted it. Because the kings had no power and the British had hegemony over all the actions of the king. King tej singh was made to sign it by the empire. They robbed people taking lagaan from them each year even if there were no crops. The kings if they wanted to remain in power had to do what they were ordered to. If the east India Company didn't take over our entire nation and made us our slaves and stayed the hell away from us we wouldn't have to give them anything. Nothing they took from us during colonial times belongs to them. Something that is given under force is not given "rightfully" It is called snatching. If I came in your home, said you were my slave from today, stole everything you have and asked you to work for me and to get me off your back you gave me your family heirloom... I wouldn't by any means consider it rightfully given.

    • @ishitasharma4530
      @ishitasharma4530 3 роки тому +27

      @@Fidgottio And in 1849, after imprisoning Jindan, the British forced Duleep to sign a legal document amending the Treaty of Lahore, that required Duleep to give away the Koh-i-Noor and all claim to sovereignty. The boy was only 10 years old. Still think it was rightfully taken?

    • @shrishtisinha6692
      @shrishtisinha6692 3 роки тому +10

      Lol, forced or coerced 'gifts' to the Queen, are just signed for stolen packages.

  • @robowealthy820
    @robowealthy820 3 роки тому +81

    Even his mic is the right colour.

  • @justmedic9689
    @justmedic9689 3 роки тому +1879

    Land: exists
    Britain: it's free real estate

    • @GreenCocanix
      @GreenCocanix 3 роки тому +7

      It is

    • @SleepySir
      @SleepySir 3 роки тому +2

      Ireland: *------*

    • @cromk_514
      @cromk_514 3 роки тому +24

      Turtle Island: **having civilizations of people and sacred culture** colonizers: "well if no one else is gonna have this-"

    • @scintillam_dei
      @scintillam_dei 3 роки тому

      Britain exists:
      Hitler: 'Cause I saved the British lads at Dunkirk.

    • @lizastarpeter4295
      @lizastarpeter4295 3 роки тому +3

      A wise Englishwoman once said “I have this flag, see...”

  • @theohio3460
    @theohio3460 4 роки тому +6557

    “Never before I’ve been so offended by something I 100% agree with”

    • @zimwityaki5021
      @zimwityaki5021 4 роки тому +190

      I think it's completely tenable to be critical of colonialism while tolerating what's happening these days. The former was coercive and ethically/economically disastrous, while the latter is the opposite for the most part...

    • @LambentIchor
      @LambentIchor 4 роки тому +228

      @Jack Tyrrell Globalism is a result of a capitalism trying to erase national boundaries. And you are right that capitalism does cause immigration because people want to move to where they can have a better life. Marx warned that it would. The capitalist will either import cheap labour or export capital to parts where there is cheap labour.
      But that isn't the same as colonialism: "the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically."
      Economic migrants who enter a country are not taking control over that country; they become part of it by contributing to it. By doing this they aren't in any way erasing the borders that make up nations. Nations can continue to trade amongst each other. It is a false equivalence to say economic migrants are colonists.
      It is transnational corporations that are creating Globalism. They pay off politicians who act against national interests by instituting trading treaties that force nations to lower their standards. International trade is predicated upon the nation, it's right there in the name.
      If you are for the nation refusing to kow-tow to the corporations who would usurp their sovereignty I'm with you. But that isn't done by attacking migrants who strengthen nations by supporting them in taxes they pay, and in services they provide.

    • @simplekaty
      @simplekaty 4 роки тому +186

      @Jack Tyrrell Jack, moving somewhere new and working there is hardly the same thing as invading with an army and pillaging, is it now?

    • @mattygee37
      @mattygee37 4 роки тому

      UNATCO recruitment ain't what it once was..... snowflake now.

    • @kingofools
      @kingofools 4 роки тому +71

      @Jack Tyrrell Well, look at that. In a single post you showed absolute ignorance of two topics!
      Right-wing idiocy at its finest.

  • @SpinDash
    @SpinDash 3 роки тому +28

    How have I never seen this guy before? He’s great

  • @Sickofdrawingcowboys717
    @Sickofdrawingcowboys717 3 роки тому +41

    This is possibly his best bit he'll come up with. Absolutely fantastic.

  • @masterxl97
    @masterxl97 3 роки тому +9469

    “No, you can’t have this artifact! It’s been in the British Museum for two hundred years!”
    “Yeah, but before that it had been in India for two thousand!”
    EDIT: Y’know, if everyone who commented on UA-cam videos burned to death, it might solve world hunger. Just a thought.

    • @spiritusIRATUS
      @spiritusIRATUS 3 роки тому +571

      *angry greek/roman/egyptian/persian/indian/chinese/aboriginal..etc..etc.. noises*

    • @annmariebusu9924
      @annmariebusu9924 3 роки тому +274

      @@spiritusIRATUS Africans too

    • @ivannierez7731
      @ivannierez7731 3 роки тому +251

      @@spiritusIRATUS In the case of China thank god they stole it. Would've been destroyed in the cultural involution and the great leap backwards.

    • @mogznwaz
      @mogznwaz 3 роки тому +19

      Possession is 9 tenths of the law.

    • @illegalhunter7
      @illegalhunter7 3 роки тому +365

      @@ivannierez7731 but it's still their history and their artifacts. some rando country seethed in gross superiority complex has no right over it whatsoever. One can never fully justify it.

  • @stayjit1
    @stayjit1 4 роки тому +2826

    The brilliant part was putting it in a museum. Everybody knows, no matter how it got there, once it's in a genuine Museum, that's where it stays.

    • @exsilencio
      @exsilencio 4 роки тому +51

      Third worldism intensifies

    • @smiller2044
      @smiller2044 4 роки тому +11

      Not always once in a museum always in a museum 🖼️

    • @beemel5734
      @beemel5734 4 роки тому +13

      @Star Constellation Much to the chagrin of Indiana Jones, I imagine.

    • @parikshit2178
      @parikshit2178 4 роки тому +53

      @@smiller2044 I mean yeah... Only if Brits had their own stuff to show.... The items would have long been returned.

    • @parikshit2178
      @parikshit2178 4 роки тому +47

      @AzerGhost16 😂 Exactly "half". You go to any colonized country's museum. 100% of the stuff is their own.

  • @navyagupta6814
    @navyagupta6814 3 роки тому +40

    People: The Queen sure does love colour schemes
    James Acaster: hold my tea

  • @aerobyrdable
    @aerobyrdable 3 роки тому +8

    I literally got here by remembering one thing from this clip months later and just searched "James Acaster Cackle"... Took me right here.

  • @ReegusReever
    @ReegusReever 4 роки тому +4323

    Glasgow Celtic Champions

    • @borismuller86
      @borismuller86 4 роки тому +13

      Ryan house colours.

    • @sammmm87
      @sammmm87 4 роки тому +13

      Incredibly impressed by how well his shirt matches the backdrop!

    • @JasonZakrajsek
      @JasonZakrajsek 4 роки тому +6

      I like how the background and his shirt change for each part of this special.

    • @how2pick4name
      @how2pick4name 4 роки тому +1

      It's called "a stylist"

    • @BYERE
      @BYERE 4 роки тому +3

      The fact that the background matches his hair AND shirt just makes it better

  • @CarolinaSRuiz-bn7lf
    @CarolinaSRuiz-bn7lf 4 роки тому +2009

    His posture reminds me of C3PO somehow

    • @Skywalker-pw7xl
      @Skywalker-pw7xl 4 роки тому +5

      Oh yeah, totally!!

    • @SandyHolmes0001
      @SandyHolmes0001 4 роки тому +1

      :D!

    • @drabanddour
      @drabanddour 3 роки тому +16

      The entirety of him reminds me of C3PO

    • @Alovatololo
      @Alovatololo 3 роки тому +4

      His shoulders are very stiff and he points his elbows outwards at times.

    • @dlvnmedia
      @dlvnmedia 3 роки тому +11

      The gold outfit is not helping convince me otherwise

  • @lydiahill9850
    @lydiahill9850 6 місяців тому +3

    Wish I could got back in time to watch this special all over again the first time

  • @JakHensha_0
    @JakHensha_0 7 місяців тому +2

    "The last place anyone looks", was underrated

  • @garrybarry4286
    @garrybarry4286 4 роки тому +2909

    The struggle Australian Aboriginals had to get back bones of their ancestors was real.

    • @cathuang6212
      @cathuang6212 4 роки тому +52

      Nick S that's literally not how anything works. have you never read or heard of "guns, germs and steel" by jared diamond?

    • @SuperNictastic
      @SuperNictastic 4 роки тому +7

      @@cathuang6212 Yes it is. People that adapt, invent and progress own the world and those that never did still live in squalor. Have you ever been to the Northern territories. It's populated by Abo's waiting for the bottle shops to open so they can get drunk on their giro. It's just natural selection in it's modern form.
      Huns' germs and steel is a load of nonsense. It's base don the premise that Europe for example was just lucky. Lucky in where it is located, lucky in that it developed agriculture. Absolute nonsense.

    • @Gobsmacked29
      @Gobsmacked29 4 роки тому +143

      @@SuperNictastic humanity's existence is just a bunch of luck, so the premise about Europe being lucky isn't nonsense.

    • @SuperNictastic
      @SuperNictastic 4 роки тому +7

      @@Gobsmacked29 ok. I. Will leg you have your moment. Explain to me why Europe was just lucky and a much older people's like Africans weren't.

    • @cathuang6212
      @cathuang6212 4 роки тому +126

      Nick S if you look into the argument then you'll see it does make a lot of sense, or you simply believe, nah, fuck compassion and empathy, what other reason could there be than the fact they're meant to be used as a stepping stone for the True Humans? and you're ignoring the systematic problems that present themselves in modern day. Taking away land and blank treaties today that still encourage cultural genocide, with choices like "throw away a part of yourself to join the cog in 'real society' or continue to suffer in reservations or insufficient land... oh and also if you make the wrong choice, in this difficult decision, it's YOUR fault."
      And yes, that's exactly what a large part of it is. Tribes that migrated to Europe instead of to the Americas got lucky. They got lucky their continent lays horizontal so that the types of food they grew held competition. They got lucky their tribes relied on competition and pressures of looming war rather than tribes that were nomadic, or maybe tribes that warred on a smaller scale because trade was so much more important. Yes, they got lucky that the Aztecs were so caught of guard by guns, yes they were lucky first nations decided to help the europeans in their first few winters instead of letting them die of scurvy, or instead of keeping their mouth shut. Isn't it just so lucky that because of Europe's cramped and dysentery areas, they were able to ramp up the diseases and they carried to the Americas, and then blamed the natives for not have had the immune systems for something they'd never encountered? The only reason why they are the people who could 'adapt, invent, and progress' was BECAUSE of their situations, their opportunities, and yes, luck.
      It's easy to point at modern examples and say that because of all the progression made today, any mistake or unhealthy choice couldn't possibly be because of anything other than the fact that they MUST simply be inferior as evolved humans. Natural selection is obsolete in this day and age where help and compassion can be provided to anybody, and the only thing in the way of that is systematic oppression and misinformation.
      You should try empathy.

  • @DUbZXtreme
    @DUbZXtreme 4 роки тому +3543

    See where other countries are getting it wrong is that they didn't bring a flag.

    • @chrisnaaden3496
      @chrisnaaden3496 4 роки тому +75

      My man Eddie nice

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 4 роки тому +19

      we took freedom around the world

    • @Daz555Daz
      @Daz555Daz 4 роки тому +82

      @@DamnedDave That's not really how Empires work.

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 4 роки тому +43

      It is we brought freedom by force like all good Empires
      I was only playing btw

    • @Daz555Daz
      @Daz555Daz 4 роки тому +69

      @The Coward Liberius and in payment they raped the land and slaughtered the people.

  • @MrMeoow91
    @MrMeoow91 2 роки тому +4

    “We are still looking at it” is the best line. 😂

  • @richarddr7690
    @richarddr7690 3 роки тому +5

    3 min, 30 seconds pure genius - what a legend

  • @Skuiggly
    @Skuiggly 4 роки тому +4996

    This is just the plot of black panther

    • @ethanmcfarland8240
      @ethanmcfarland8240 4 роки тому +109

      Pretty sure there wasn’t a part about a guy wanting to commit genocide in that but okay

    • @Sinathikunene
      @Sinathikunene 4 роки тому +105

      Watching that scene was the first time I actually realized that hey, those are stolen goods.

    • @Mjolkmaestro
      @Mjolkmaestro 4 роки тому +86

      @@Sinathikunene That's great! Soon you'll be all like "Hey, wait a minute! This imperialism thing is still going on, isn't it?" and then it's revolution time 🏴

    • @electricangel4488
      @electricangel4488 4 роки тому +4

      @@Sinathikunene i mean not realy
      stealing the dudes beer afther a bar fight aint that bad
      its part of the fun
      so is looting
      general human trait

    • @Lodatzor
      @Lodatzor 4 роки тому +25

      @@Sinathikunene
      And that's the problem with them putting it into Black Panther. They're not stolen. They were mostly obtained via legitimate means, and it's merely a point of inaccurate propaganda to suggest that they were stolen. But, because you saw it in a Marvel movie, it gave that idea some credibility in your eyes. Propaganda is often that subtle.

  • @kristenblount8422
    @kristenblount8422 3 роки тому +2039

    Makes me think of the time someone stole my one of a kind, custom made bicycle. The police wouldn't get it back for me because I didn't have a serial #. I didn't even know bikes had those but I'm pretty sure you use a serial # to differentiate between mass produced bikes that look pretty much identical. Mine was one of a kind & the designer gave the police more than enough evidence that it was my bike. They knew it was mine but they just didn't care. Eventually the thief left it outside and one of my friends just stole it back. Maybe one day the other countries will just steal their shit back.

    • @JoseFerreira-ms9xi
      @JoseFerreira-ms9xi 3 роки тому +31

      Or maybe just maybe it gets stolen by aliens

    • @shairafaiza7261
      @shairafaiza7261 3 роки тому +17

      i hope so :) one day

    • @odomobo
      @odomobo 3 роки тому +103

      I hope now that you got it back, you've etched "1" on it somewhere

    • @JPG126
      @JPG126 3 роки тому +34

      Just a friendly heads up that the majority of the things in the British museum were bought and paid for.
      So your analogy of "countries just stealing their shit back" would be like if my Grandad sold his war medal to a foreign museum and I decide I'm going to steal it because it has meaning to me. Not "stealing back", just plain old stealing.

    • @kristenblount8422
      @kristenblount8422 3 роки тому +148

      @@JPG126 I am not saying the museum is full of stolen artifacts but they definitely have things that were legitimately stolen. There are multiple countries asking for the British Museum to return their artifacts. Those items were not sold to the museum even if the majority of the museum's items were bought & paid for.

  • @MegaRazzzz
    @MegaRazzzz 2 роки тому +64

    As an Indian, I'm sad that some of our artifacts got taken to Britain but looking at the state of our museums here, I say you can keep the stuff for a few more years while we tidy our place up a bit.

    • @x.3553
      @x.3553 2 роки тому +1

      agreed.

    • @mg1721
      @mg1721 2 роки тому +2

      our people aren't interested in museums, maybe they'll be interested if we bring them back or if the brits give it back

    • @MegaRazzzz
      @MegaRazzzz 2 роки тому

      @@mg1721 even if we bring them back, where are we going to keep them? Museums ideally, else at least in a deep underground bunker where they can be preserved, what what's the use of bringing them back?

    • @JohnRowley
      @JohnRowley 2 роки тому +6

      You likely wouldn't need to tidy up quite so much if the English hadn't colonised you and nicked all your stuff and made you and Pakistan enemies.

    • @MegaRazzzz
      @MegaRazzzz 2 роки тому +4

      @@JohnRowley of course. However, it's also a fact that our museums here in India are severely underfunded and even the stuff we have here are not being preserved and displayed properly.

  • @leonbrown7911
    @leonbrown7911 Рік тому +2

    "not right now selfish" - floored xD

  • @dbo6948
    @dbo6948 4 роки тому +1986

    This was certainly inspired by Eddie Izzard... “I claim this country for Britain! And they’re like, ‘you can’t claim us, we live here,’ Well... do you have a flag?” Hahahaha

    • @odinvik7821
      @odinvik7821 4 роки тому +82

      no flag no country, thats.the rule that I just made up

    • @Chaiserzose
      @Chaiserzose 4 роки тому +55

      this was also certainly inspired by something else in the first place... things like "British Empire", "History" and "having a basic education and a brain".

    • @alejandroherrera1884
      @alejandroherrera1884 4 роки тому

      @Jack Tyrrell And still they robbed it.

    • @CBfrmcardiff
      @CBfrmcardiff 4 роки тому +8

      Well the Eddie Izzard sketch is funny because it's sort-of true - it's a humorous description of the old imperialist mindset, and Europeans did put a lot of store in flags. Some explorers in Africa arrived with boxes of cheap flags and the intention of persuading the locals to put them up.
      This sketch is less effective because, although the *punchline* ("We're still looking at it") is true, the 'we stole it all' narrative is mostly a half-truth or even a bit of a lie. It doesn't reflect the mindset of the so-called thieves nor the practical situation in which they operated. Really, a bunch of rich curious people from what was momentarily the only rich corner of the planet went around the world gathering curiosities, and then they put them in a museum for everybody to see and study. There was no force involved, except when items were taken as trophies in wars which were not fought for the sake of the items themselves. So really there was no outright 'theft'

    • @milfbangaable
      @milfbangaable 4 роки тому +25

      @@CBfrmcardiff That's the dumbest alibi I've ever read. By the way, how'd they get rich? Divine intervention? How's about raping and pillaging?

  • @rayk4651
    @rayk4651 4 роки тому +1859

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times more, I love Mr. James Acaster

    • @bnap3221
      @bnap3221 4 роки тому +9

      Stop saying the same time over and over and over, it’s fvcking boring

    • @joshjohnson2600
      @joshjohnson2600 4 роки тому +6

      How long would it take you to actually say that 1 million more times? Do you have no hobbies?

    • @ReegusReever
      @ReegusReever 4 роки тому +3

      Once is plenty, mate.

    • @roypanwitz9166
      @roypanwitz9166 4 роки тому

      Mantage

    • @TayNez63
      @TayNez63 4 роки тому +2

      I love him on would I lie to you ua-cam.com/video/a20TMDFhedM/v-deo.html

  • @majorfeelgoodrecords2740
    @majorfeelgoodrecords2740 29 днів тому +1

    I think it’s wonderful that the British museum looked after all these precious items

  • @geribaldi2
    @geribaldi2 Рік тому +2

    OMG. That was good. Great vid to watch first thing in the morning 🤣🤣

  • @him050
    @him050 3 роки тому +870

    This is why it’s easier with military museums. “Umm, can we have that tank back please?” “Sorry chap, you lost the battle and your men a abandoned it. Rules is rules.”

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 3 роки тому +60

      @@enei7045 Okay but nowhere in the rules of war is there anything about how the winner of a war gets dibs on the losers' stuff. Indeed, the modern rules of war clearly state that objects of great historical, religious and/or cultural value aren't considered valid military targets, so it's essentially the exact opposite situation to take someone's artifacts in this manner.
      A tank is a military tool, if another force seizes it, they're just ensuring that they won't have to fight against it later. When they take people's cultural artifacts, all they're doing is behaving like pillagers and vandals.

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 3 роки тому +25

      @@enei7045 Okay but we're following the rules of war now like a civil society. Agreeing to those rules is a clear affirmation that we realize that people pillaging in that manner was wrong to do, acknowledging that if we had been following those rules back then, we would be committing a war crime.
      With all that in mind, how is it not fair that the nations that those items were looted from get them back?
      Like when slavery was ended we didn't just say "okay everyone we realize the institution of slavery is wrong now, however we didn't realize it back when all of our current slaves were first enslaved. So obviously we should be allowed to keep them enslaved because we can't be held accountable for our own actions back then."
      And this isn't just a matter of ancient kingdoms looting from one another, the British empire that stole everything is the same political entity that exists today. How are they somehow no longer liable for the artifacts they still that are flagrantly stolen from people that really want them back now?

    • @oswaldrabbit1409
      @oswaldrabbit1409 3 роки тому +11

      @@evansageser6943 because that's not even the same scenario. One is an object, the other a person.
      I actually agree with you but I think your example is shaky at best.

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 3 роки тому +15

      @@oswaldrabbit1409 In both cases however it is something that is treated like property that later laws decide is not acceptable to take as property however. Yes, I think pillaging objects is less extreme than abject slavery, but it still gets to the heart of the problem, that being that you can't just grandfather in past misdeeds. If the law suddenly decides it is wrong to own something, you don't get to justify that you retain ownership of those illegal things just because you acquired them prior to the law's passage, particularly given how clear-cut the case for prior ownership is.

    • @stevevee8831
      @stevevee8831 3 роки тому +5

      I got a tour round Chelsea Pensioners, old lad who was giving us the tour was showing all of these standards, flags etc. Taken in battle from other countries, there was French, Spanish, Dutch, couple of others and Americans... Americans are still asking for their standard back, have been rebutted several times 'I don't think you get it... You lost it....'

  • @Hardlight835
    @Hardlight835 4 роки тому +503

    The background and James's outfit looks like, it was created by Wes Anderson.

    • @MrJackandEmily
      @MrJackandEmily 4 роки тому +27

      Wes Andersons movies were loosely based on that background. Not many people know that..

    • @Hardlight835
      @Hardlight835 4 роки тому +5

      @@MrJackandEmily It all makes sense now!

    • @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945
      @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945 3 роки тому +2

      he’s a big Wes Anderson fan!

    • @Patchimus
      @Patchimus 3 роки тому +8

      James Acaster was actually created in a laboratory by Wes Anderson

  • @odoylerules360
    @odoylerules360 5 місяців тому +2

    Turning up the accent on that "I don't fink so!" is hilarious.

    • @bossfan49
      @bossfan49 5 місяців тому

      That line... "I don't think so. We're still lookin' at it!" felt very Pythonesque to me. I could hear Idle or Palin saying that one.

  • @notoriouslybratty
    @notoriouslybratty 10 місяців тому +9

    One of his best bits - every so often I have to click on this video and rewatch it.

  • @btryx9378
    @btryx9378 3 роки тому +468

    British people be like: started stealin' it... Had a break-down...bonapetit.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 2 роки тому +1

      Time for other huge nations to start stealin shit, like China. aren't they in the process of stealing countries and sea land lol

    • @raspberrycrowns9494
      @raspberrycrowns9494 2 роки тому +1

      oh no are you gonna be alright
      Britain: no it's fine, it wasn't my break-down
      *centuries old empire collapses in the background*

    • @Tht1Gy
      @Tht1Gy 2 роки тому +1

      "British people be like..."
      Ugh! Appalling grammar.

    • @dantemaquiavelli9039
      @dantemaquiavelli9039 2 роки тому +6

      @@Tht1Gy well, I think the guy is using AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) which is considered a form of speech used by middle and working class African-Americans in casual situations, but has been used in the internet too (Stan Twitter is an example).
      Yes, the grammar in traditional English wouldn't be correct, but the user is just using AAVE slang.

    • @Tht1Gy
      @Tht1Gy 2 роки тому

      @@dantemaquiavelli9039 I am aware.
      I still think it's appalling. A lack of knowledge of grammar does not excuse that lack.

  • @Sarah.Riedel
    @Sarah.Riedel 3 роки тому +710

    This is the single most thoroughly British individual on the planet

    • @chrismiller1261
      @chrismiller1261 3 роки тому +141

      except for the self-awareness about the empire

    • @Sarah.Riedel
      @Sarah.Riedel 3 роки тому +11

      @@chrismiller1261 good point

    • @bmg2507
      @bmg2507 3 роки тому +5

      Hmm I doubt he'd be triggered by facts he doesn't like though a modern Brit trait (Brexit era) Therefore I dissagree.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 2 роки тому +3

      @@bmg2507 Mate just cuz your salty about history, doesn't mean you can project your weakness on us.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 2 роки тому +3

      @Robert Apostu lot's of a-hole football fans do that, it's not exactly exlusive to England

  • @JD-it9rc
    @JD-it9rc Рік тому +5

    Interesting this being recommended...

  • @yilinwang467
    @yilinwang467 3 роки тому +25

    Spanish: Laughs in Gold and Silver Bullion

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 2 роки тому

      British empire had a piece of that action, too, don't forget

  • @hop-skip-ouch8798
    @hop-skip-ouch8798 4 роки тому +481

    James as the next Doctor. Get this going people.

    • @youtubecensors5419
      @youtubecensors5419 4 роки тому +14

      Impossible, he's a white male.

    • @pixelnaut8076
      @pixelnaut8076 4 роки тому +53

      UA-cam Censors one woman doctor and everybody gets triggered

    • @youtubecensors5419
      @youtubecensors5419 4 роки тому +5

      @@pixelnaut8076 "Once the wagons start circling, they never stop." This has happened to nearly every franchise, noticing a solid pattern after numerous occasions isn't "triggered". Nice try attempting to co-opt the term though. High five!

    • @Superman-pj7ff
      @Superman-pj7ff 4 роки тому +26

      Can it just be him going back in time putting shit back where it should be

    • @pixelnaut8076
      @pixelnaut8076 4 роки тому +31

      "nearly every franchise"
      Doesn't actually list any franchises.
      Also, uh, what's wrong with women being more prominent in roles? People always get weird about men being "pushed aside" when it's pretty much equal, if not catching up for the years of men getting the spotlight while women get sexualised etc

  • @cherrysherry44
    @cherrysherry44 3 роки тому +584

    I'm Chinese and when my parents took us to see the British museum, they just call it the "Great Thief Museum (大盗博物馆)". Had a great time there, sketched the venus de milo and saw the fountain heads robbed from us during the 8 nations war where they burned down a palace close to Beijing (圆明园). Anyone else here from a country that calls the museum something similar? I don't think that nickname is something my parents made up.

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 3 роки тому +7

      @@insulam821 Beta.

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 3 роки тому +142

      How about you give the tibetans back their land?

    • @confnin1863
      @confnin1863 3 роки тому +227

      @@Kyle_Hubbard Bro they're just a racially Chinese person. They're not the government or anything, and they were simply trying to tell an amusing anecdote. What are you even trying to accomplish here?

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 3 роки тому +63

      @@confnin1863 Pointing out the hypocrisy.

    • @confnin1863
      @confnin1863 3 роки тому +137

      @@Kyle_Hubbard The commenter was talking about how their parents were the ones to call it that, not themself. And even then, it's not like they're blaming all English people for stealing their stuff and refusing to return it. If they had actually outright blamed anyone in the comment, there may have been hypocrisy, but as it stands, your comment was uncalled for and just pointless overall.

  • @jeromelbbs9592
    @jeromelbbs9592 Рік тому

    Happy this ended up on FB. I discovered this funny comedian.

  • @WhiteTiger333
    @WhiteTiger333 Рік тому

    Robbing the gift shop at the end....LOL! Fair play.

  • @mars6038
    @mars6038 4 роки тому +164

    ‘one all, you punks’ really tied it together ahahaha

  • @aishahussain6087
    @aishahussain6087 3 роки тому +177

    This is how characters in Wes Anderson's movies dress

  • @jeremiedayglider1690
    @jeremiedayglider1690 Рік тому

    "We're still looking at it!." Brilliant!!!

  • @Lewis-wr8ec
    @Lewis-wr8ec Рік тому +3

    Finally comedy which reflects my sensibilities and taste for mustard yellow backdrops

  • @FrozenRoxas
    @FrozenRoxas 4 роки тому +45

    I love the way he talks and his expressions (or lack thereof). He's very unique

    • @kathybramley5609
      @kathybramley5609 4 роки тому

      I've never been a fan of the word unique, though people often tell me I should embrace it, be proud. It's Othering though, especially when you hear it a lot. And when you're not as successful or seemingly surrounded by friends, family and supporters as James is!!

    • @FrozenRoxas
      @FrozenRoxas 4 роки тому +1

      @@kathybramley5609 To be honest I've never thought of the word that way. To me it just means different / distinct / interesting. And I don't think different is a bad thing.

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 3 роки тому +1

      Well everyone here has decided to have a nice deep chat lmao

    • @helphelpimbeingrepressed9347
      @helphelpimbeingrepressed9347 3 роки тому +1

      I don't like the word quango while we're getting things off our chest. It's not even a proper word, it's an acronym really but it struts around like it's a proper established word...disgusting.

  • @sifuentes4113
    @sifuentes4113 4 роки тому +458

    Sooooo were just gonna pretend his shirt pocket isn't big enough to hold 2 water bottles and a bag of chips

    • @macfleetwood2015
      @macfleetwood2015 4 роки тому +26

      Watch the whole routine that comes up in a bit at some point

    • @evilazulan
      @evilazulan 4 роки тому +2

      Lmaooo

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 3 роки тому +16

      You mean crisps

    • @sifuentes4113
      @sifuentes4113 3 роки тому +1

      @@esme4048 lmaooooo what are those!?!?

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 3 роки тому +8

      @@sifuentes4113 crisps are what you call chips, and in england, chips are what you call fries, and in england, we also have fries. So we have fries, chips and crisps, but you guys just have chips and fries lol

  • @1Ma9iN8tive
    @1Ma9iN8tive 3 роки тому

    My absolutely most fav bit ... fooking hilarious

  • @nathanielhellerstein5871
    @nathanielhellerstein5871 3 роки тому +48

    I have a better idea. Make exact measurements of everything they stole, and exact copies from those measurements; then give the originals back to their rightful owners, but keep displaying the exact copies, and sell other exact copies. If the British Museum is going to be a crime scene, then it might as well be a fence.

    • @stevesmith7843
      @stevesmith7843 Рік тому

      to be fair, they're already in the hands of the "rightful" owners.... since THEY are the owners lol.... they should be grateful the british empire GAVE them their countries back.....

  • @crazypiratesquirrel3038
    @crazypiratesquirrel3038 3 роки тому +178

    My favorite excuse I've ever heard for not giving antiquities back was basically "we'd love give them back but we don't think you have the facilities to care for something this old properly. As soon as you build a place we think is up to snuff then you can have it back.".

    • @ngaire1004
      @ngaire1004 3 роки тому +89

      Reminds me of a joke I think it was Trevor Noah, said. "We're not giving your stuff back because you can't take care of it properly. We know you can't because if you could we wouldn't have been able to steal it."

    • @ngaire1004
      @ngaire1004 3 роки тому +27

      @Chardonnay Smith That's just not true. The British museum values then in a very European way, which is to place it on a pedestal and try and make it last forever. I guarantee you The cultures that created these artefacts would have valued them just as much if not more, by using them for their intended purpose. Other cultures are perfectly capable of valuing their own art.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 2 роки тому +2

      @@ngaire1004 I believe a similar case is currently occurring in Denmark with a drum that belonged to a Samii shaman.

    • @404Dannyboy
      @404Dannyboy 2 роки тому +6

      @@ngaire1004 They didn't and haven't valued them historically. Hell, Europe only started valuing them recently.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 2 роки тому +16

      @Wilhelm Eley Ah yes I believe that it is listed in British Constitutional Law under the "Finders keepers no take backs!" clause...

  • @ballconei
    @ballconei 4 роки тому +384

    I saw James Acaster in the park practicing a South African accent he must be preparing for a movie role or something. He was very immersed in the character because when I asked him for a photograph he pretended to get very upset and spat at my wife.

    • @AsitorCorporation
      @AsitorCorporation 4 роки тому +183

      I feel like I'm missing something in this story but I enjoy it nonetheless

    • @eternaldragonoid9979
      @eternaldragonoid9979 4 роки тому +5

      You and your wife probably didn't kno de wae

    • @sunxel3264
      @sunxel3264 4 роки тому +1

      pizza who said he didn't?

    • @davidjohnkruger8717
      @davidjohnkruger8717 4 роки тому +18

      And then we (the true South Africans) polished the World Cup trophy and said. You can look at it. But stand behind the ropes!! 😂🇿🇦

    • @joshyc2006
      @joshyc2006 4 роки тому

      @@pizzadoog I thought it was an ngannou quote lol

  • @1292liam
    @1292liam 5 місяців тому +1

    "We're still looking at it" LOL

  • @lyannawinter405
    @lyannawinter405 Рік тому

    1:45 "how important it is to you and your culture", it's such a good point.

  • @The88Cheat
    @The88Cheat 3 роки тому +24

    "It's worked out well for us so far."
    Can't argue with results.

    • @camcloutier2738
      @camcloutier2738 2 роки тому

      True but the key phrase with bad behavior is always "so far".

  • @SpecialKurbis
    @SpecialKurbis 3 роки тому +83

    He is beyond genius, every line he says in this sketch is comedy. A master craftsmen

    • @LGF79
      @LGF79 Рік тому +2

      He reminds me of Monty Python with his delivery and gesticulations.

  • @therohanexperiment2993
    @therohanexperiment2993 3 роки тому +50

    India exists
    British colonizers : thats free real estate

    • @michaelmuller159
      @michaelmuller159 3 роки тому +2

      So did Portuguese and French

    • @RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist
      @RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist 3 роки тому +3

      India didn't exist. It was a collection of fractured states, there was no 'India' until it was united by the British.

    • @60ritikanand69
      @60ritikanand69 3 роки тому +1

      @@RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist India was united under Mughals and later Marathas when British arrived.

    • @pecadodeorgullo5963
      @pecadodeorgullo5963 3 роки тому

      It wasn't even colonised but was conquered.

    • @prithvi24
      @prithvi24 2 роки тому +2

      @@RagggedTrouseredPhilanthropist all the states that existed before the British arrived were unified by cultural identity and religion. There is documented evidence of this by the British themselves. You are misinformed.

  • @through.a.barrel.she.breathes
    @through.a.barrel.she.breathes Рік тому +1

    We are still looking at it is the best thing ever.

  • @robowealthy820
    @robowealthy820 3 роки тому +18

    "We're still looking at it!" So true...

  • @Jack-er1sc
    @Jack-er1sc 3 роки тому +8

    Britain was just that friend who "borrows" a pen

  • @hannahj6398
    @hannahj6398 3 роки тому +4

    Gotta love his massive pocket and his "Started making it, had a breakdown... Bon appetit!"

  • @Flippie95
    @Flippie95 4 роки тому +594

    That's not James Acaster, that's Pat Springleaf!

    • @markjames2343
      @markjames2343 4 роки тому +35

      Why are your wire recordings available for public download!!

    • @RobCartwright
      @RobCartwright 4 роки тому +16

      @@markjames2343 Say your prayers. Say your prayers.

    • @christianlesurfmusic
      @christianlesurfmusic 4 роки тому +2

      @@RobCartwright # Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me #

  • @viajedali7663
    @viajedali7663 3 роки тому +18

    "We're still looking at it" 😂

  • @WandaKiwi
    @WandaKiwi Рік тому

    A great movie to watch with this theme is The Man Who Lost His Head starring Martin Clunes. It's a NZ production based in NZ. Loved it. Martin is awesome. ❤

  • @travelorchidslondon
    @travelorchidslondon Рік тому

    Absolutely brilliant 👏 . Watching 3rd time

  • @uriah9559
    @uriah9559 4 роки тому +255

    "this'll sound far-fetched..."

    • @conors4430
      @conors4430 4 роки тому +1

      w00dy not really, yes it’s told in a joking way but it’s pretty close to what happened.

    • @uriah9559
      @uriah9559 4 роки тому +2

      @@conors4430 ...

    • @ughasatu2004
      @ughasatu2004 4 роки тому +3

      R/whoosh

    • @thomaschristopherwhite9043
      @thomaschristopherwhite9043 4 роки тому

      I mean it sounds insane now a days. But the sun never did set on the British Empire back in the day.

    • @CH-xq6if
      @CH-xq6if 3 роки тому

      It covered 1/3 of the world 🌍

  • @Batham55
    @Batham55 4 роки тому +142

    "Whatcha gonna do about it? That's right, nothing! Now bugger off!" - Britain

  • @superviro
    @superviro 2 роки тому

    Out of all the comedians to appear on Taskmaster, this guy is the funniest.
    I still need to watch the rest of them.
    'Merica!

  • @kcchristian
    @kcchristian 4 місяці тому +1

    You have no idea how often I quote “I don’t fink so, we’re still lookin’ at it”

  • @ARI-kn3wz
    @ARI-kn3wz 4 роки тому +13

    Find out about him exactly 3 min ago.......I think I’ve fallen in love help 😂😂❤️😭