James Acaster On The Absurdity Of The British Empire

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 8 тис.

  • @lacountess
    @lacountess 4 роки тому +23494

    I remember visiting the Acropolis museum in Greece and every set of objects was missing a piece and the answer to the question “where is it?” was always “at the British Museum.”

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 4 роки тому +671

      Good job really otherwise the answer would have been where is it? "Smashed to pieces and lost."

    • @user-yg4tr5fp3s
      @user-yg4tr5fp3s 4 роки тому +2858

      @@dominicomucci3014 Well, no... The answer would probably be "at the Acropolis museum in Greece"

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 4 роки тому +229

      @@user-yg4tr5fp3s no it would have been. It's smashed to bits. Or it's in someone's private collection where no one can see it.

    • @someoneonearth1617
      @someoneonearth1617 4 роки тому +368

      Jolly Infidel No they didn’t... most Greek artefacts we have were looted during a war with the Ottomans

    • @Alex_Deam
      @Alex_Deam 4 роки тому +1588

      @@dominicomucci3014 absolute nonsense. I've been to both the British Museum and the Acropolis Museum, the half of the Parthenon Marbles in the Acropolis Museum are exactly as well preserved as the half that was stolen and placed in the British Museum - with the added bonus that the ones in Greece are in a glass-walled room overlooking the Acropolis itself, their original context. You're talking shite.

  • @jainish1556
    @jainish1556 4 роки тому +35468

    UK is the largest supplier of Independence days in the world.

    • @davestationuk7374
      @davestationuk7374 4 роки тому +879

      We came ,we saw ,we conquered and gave back
      And you got a holiday.
      You’re welcome 😂

    • @anupsrivatsa1808
      @anupsrivatsa1808 4 роки тому +195

      They created the demand also😂

    • @xuan.1611
      @xuan.1611 4 роки тому +45

      Guess America isnt the best in freedom

    • @dominicomucci3014
      @dominicomucci3014 4 роки тому +134

      @@deejin25 someone missed history classes. You have to be American with that confused view of ww2 and the post events. 🤣😂

    • @raquille1
      @raquille1 4 роки тому +76

      ​@@deejin25 im guessing you are American- conveniently forgot that the US was too chicken shit to join the war in the first place!

  • @SeanMusicFreak
    @SeanMusicFreak 4 роки тому +23555

    My dude really color coordinated his entire wardrobe to compliment his hair. Respect.

    • @KevoKevo1986
      @KevoKevo1986 4 роки тому +693

      And that background

    • @outofAlog
      @outofAlog 4 роки тому +34

      Ginja Ninjaaa fuck off!!!!
      Does that translate????

    • @outofAlog
      @outofAlog 4 роки тому +224

      It’s the color of every Brits soul

    • @oranheaney6110
      @oranheaney6110 4 роки тому +273

      It was a 4 part Netflix stand up special, each was colour coordinated to his 4 emotions.

    • @M-Manie
      @M-Manie 4 роки тому +55

      Colour *

  • @hedgehog3180
    @hedgehog3180 Рік тому +2311

    My favourite exhibit in the British Museum is a greek statue missing its head with a plaque next to it angrily complaining about a Danish captain who "stole" it without a hint of irony or self awareness. You can find the head in the Danish National Museum and its plaque just says that the rest of the statue is in the British Museum.

  • @jjgasp3186
    @jjgasp3186 4 роки тому +9795

    you fools, he doesn't HAVE a colour scheme, he IS THE colour scheme

    • @jelly2584
      @jelly2584 3 роки тому +28

      @freebeerfordworkers my dad was from Ghana. I don’t know why that’s relevant it’s just Ghana never gets brought up so I got excited.

    • @wearethechange128
      @wearethechange128 3 роки тому +21

      99.96% chance he’s waring mustard coloured boxers

    • @edwinamendelssohn5129
      @edwinamendelssohn5129 2 роки тому +1

      More like he is the scheme

    • @edmunddianga8641
      @edmunddianga8641 8 місяців тому

      Make it .99​@@wearethechange128

  • @Luischocolatier
    @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +8410

    This reminds me there's this roman site here in southern Spain in which you can find a whole roman mosai perfectly conserved except for a perfect circle in which there should be the face of a medusa. In its place there's concrete.
    In the USA, the Smithsonian IIRC, has the mosaic of the face of a medusa in a perfectly round circle, sitting next to a plaque saying it was "found in Spain" as if they hadn't come here, carved it out of the full piece and then plastered it out with concrete.
    Imagine doing that to the Gioconda. All of her except the left eye is on the Louvre, and where the left eye should be there's only tape. Then at the other side of the world, you find a museum in California with a piece of parchment and an eye on it, a plaque next to it saying "Eye of a lady. Found in France"

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +890

      On the other hand, we have a whole Egyptian temple here in Madrid that was taken stone by stone from the site and then assembled whole back again here...

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +440

      But hey, we kept all of the temple instead of taking a column or something

    • @Luischocolatier
      @Luischocolatier 4 роки тому +529

      I honestly can't decide which one is worse, if taking the whole thing or just breaking a tiny bit so that the rest stays on place and you only get to show a tiny "souvenir" you got

    • @CanelaAguila
      @CanelaAguila 4 роки тому +177

      @Thelondonbadger So you thought it necessary to lecture Spanish people on our history in a completely unrelated discussion?

    • @CanelaAguila
      @CanelaAguila 4 роки тому +36

      @@Luischocolatier Which site in the south is this? Sounds interesting!

  • @tylerdurden2424
    @tylerdurden2424 5 років тому +6656

    Is no one addressing the fact that his hair matches his shirt that matches his trousers that match the curtains in the back that all compliment his microphone!!

  • @tooba1235
    @tooba1235 3 роки тому +1584

    In india.. a lot of ancient forts have missing things like a wall with cavities that are supposed to be filled with gemstones , a golden throne or a famous crown.. good to see a British person acknowledge these things

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 2 роки тому

      Didn't the Mughal empire steel the whole country?

    • @kraai98
      @kraai98 2 роки тому +79

      It's like serial killers keeping jewelry of their victims. Sickening.

    • @michaelplunkett8059
      @michaelplunkett8059 2 роки тому +28

      Like the Mughals never conquered anything. How

    • @tiestokygoericprydz3963
      @tiestokygoericprydz3963 2 роки тому

      @@kraai98 not all can be stolen unless you know what happened at the time

    • @mathuraditya
      @mathuraditya 2 роки тому +82

      ​@@michaelplunkett8059 mughals conquered and ruled india from india. they didn't steal the stuff and then nope out. what they did can be called destruction of stuff at best, which the british did in addition to stealing anyway.
      also, even if the mughals stole, that wouldn't have given the right to steal to the british. two wrongs don't make a right. just because someone else is doing a crime doesn't mean you should do it too.

  • @fistfullofsharpenings5611
    @fistfullofsharpenings5611 5 років тому +14499

    "I don't fink so; We're still looking at it." Britain

    • @wisconsinfarmer4742
      @wisconsinfarmer4742 5 років тому +82

      That one got my heartiest guffaw.

    • @gold_leaf0702
      @gold_leaf0702 5 років тому +184

      You made a typo
      "Oi daw't fink sow, weh stiw lookin' a' i'."

    • @carterishere3851
      @carterishere3851 5 років тому +69

      Kristoff Cain I guess your American

    • @UnYin99
      @UnYin99 5 років тому +57

      ​@@carterishere3851 I believe that you're right. You're a good guesser and you're a keen observer of your environment. You're nobody's fool, and you're sure getting your licks in as well. That's why it's too bad that your grammar isn't your strong suit, but maybe English isn't your first language.

    • @carterishere3851
      @carterishere3851 5 років тому +11

      UnYin99 Is there a point? , communication is about making a point and making someone understand what i or a individual is saying also I’m not going to write a deep inspirational paragraph about my thoughts of a person ethnicity when I could just say a sentence.
      When a comment section is full of these typos or grammar mistakes but they just want to state there point and a reason, not everyone is going to be better or on the same level of you.

  • @gachaelephant6841
    @gachaelephant6841 4 роки тому +5448

    We didn’t steal it, we borrowed it...
    Without asking...
    Or the intent to give it back...

    • @sallylee4924
      @sallylee4924 4 роки тому +25

      Also, British law prevents museums from returning artifacts.

    • @patthonsirilim5739
      @patthonsirilim5739 4 роки тому +44

      @Unkwon Malaysian Guy yep nothing like gunboat diplomacy

    • @Bladerxdxi
      @Bladerxdxi 4 роки тому +24

      Burrowed Sounds too much Like consent. Thats Not british

    • @Tresorthas
      @Tresorthas 4 роки тому +8

      *borrowed, "burrowed" is to put it in a hole in the ground

    • @gachaelephant6841
      @gachaelephant6841 4 роки тому +13

      @Tresorthas The irony is that I actually spelt it as borrowed first then thought “Nah that looks wrong it’s probably burrowed”

  • @konomexplays
    @konomexplays 5 років тому +11452

    The British took an Indigenous man's head (they killed him) in 1833 and wouldn't give it back to his family until about 2010.
    Not even a cool heirloom. A literal part of a corpse. Finders keepers, you can't have your granddads head back.

    • @86upsmaya
      @86upsmaya 4 роки тому +882

      Yep, just last month they returned some remains of Sri Lankan vedda people, our indigenous people. Was grossed out to learn that they had them at a museum

    • @bobjonn9182
      @bobjonn9182 4 роки тому +28

      KonomexPlays. Where is that? What indigenous?

    • @konomexplays
      @konomexplays 4 роки тому +387

      @@bobjonn9182 Australian. His name was Yagan. I met his great grandchild.

    • @bobjonn9182
      @bobjonn9182 4 роки тому +205

      @@konomexplays oh interesting story 'Yagan' was a warrior and part of the resistance against the British.
      Also was wanted for murder & theft. Escaped capture.
      Was classed as a man of high degree under tribal law.

    • @TheDaverobinson
      @TheDaverobinson 4 роки тому +11

      Ha! Yeah - that was a good one!

  • @moeezS
    @moeezS 3 роки тому +464

    "We're still looking at it!" had me cackling.

  • @shrekdevito1843
    @shrekdevito1843 5 років тому +8902

    Only James can make it look cool to blend into the background

    • @sunxel3264
      @sunxel3264 5 років тому +42

      S Wright he/she doesn't seem triggered to me, just not very fond of the military

    • @flops_01
      @flops_01 5 років тому +93

      Everyone's here talking about camouflage and I'm here like "Omg is that James Marriott?"

    • @raining214
      @raining214 5 років тому +23

      @@flops_01 James is the superior name clearly.

    • @flops_01
      @flops_01 5 років тому +1

      Brooklynae yep

    • @MrJackandEmily
      @MrJackandEmily 5 років тому +1

      @paula cool as fuck 😎

  • @Free_Range_Hippo
    @Free_Range_Hippo 4 роки тому +11031

    This Weasley is far funnier than the other ones.

  • @Edgea22
    @Edgea22 4 роки тому +10807

    Indiana Jones: That belongs in a museum!
    Confused indigenous person: Or it can just go back in my house

    • @VincentGonzalezVeg
      @VincentGonzalezVeg 4 роки тому +342

      Yeah he's a grave robber

    • @seanderoiste4661
      @seanderoiste4661 4 роки тому +13

      Vincent Gonzalez lol why are you so triggered it’s not our fault the English are colonisers fuck off you triggered Tory

    • @jamesmcpherson8599
      @jamesmcpherson8599 4 роки тому +251

      @@seanderoiste4661 ?

    • @akselevensen2763
      @akselevensen2763 4 роки тому +299

      @@seanderoiste4661 Speaking of triggered...

    • @seanderoiste4661
      @seanderoiste4661 4 роки тому +16

      Aksel Evensen ye English have too much pride for yourselves it’s hilarious taking the piss out of ye is easy ye are all so sensitive

  • @nayan7207
    @nayan7207 2 роки тому +1547

    I've got a British Museum joke but it was stolen.

    • @williamsanders6114
      @williamsanders6114 2 роки тому +24

      Well played.

    • @ferociouslioness
      @ferociouslioness 2 роки тому +8

      LMAOOO I SEE WHAT U DID THERE

    • @snailmailmagic
      @snailmailmagic Рік тому +10

      Hahaha maybe you should check British museum 😂

    • @ukbloke28
      @ukbloke28 Рік тому

      old and dusty as the artefacts.

    • @beeharbour
      @beeharbour 8 місяців тому

      @@ukbloke28 Say what you will about the British Museum, I've never seen a spot of dust anywhere.

  • @stayjit1
    @stayjit1 5 років тому +2856

    The brilliant part was putting it in a museum. Everybody knows, no matter how it got there, once it's in a genuine Museum, that's where it stays.

    • @exsilencio
      @exsilencio 5 років тому +53

      Third worldism intensifies

    • @smiller2044
      @smiller2044 5 років тому +11

      Not always once in a museum always in a museum 🖼️

    • @beemel5734
      @beemel5734 5 років тому +13

      @Star Constellation Much to the chagrin of Indiana Jones, I imagine.

    • @parikshit2178
      @parikshit2178 5 років тому +53

      @@smiller2044 I mean yeah... Only if Brits had their own stuff to show.... The items would have long been returned.

    • @parikshit2178
      @parikshit2178 5 років тому +47

      @AzerGhost16 😂 Exactly "half". You go to any colonized country's museum. 100% of the stuff is their own.

  • @L0stInNeverland
    @L0stInNeverland 5 років тому +15762

    why am i so attracted to this tired mustard alien man

  • @nz9562
    @nz9562 4 роки тому +5910

    The British said Your not getting it back but you can have a miniature version at the gift shop when you finish staring at it 😂😂😂

    • @spiritusIRATUS
      @spiritusIRATUS 4 роки тому +94

      Aye, for 10 pounds per square inch

    • @sophiaredwood5825
      @sophiaredwood5825 3 роки тому +2

      LOL

    • @Berserker3624
      @Berserker3624 3 роки тому +19

      @@spiritusIRATUS that's highway robbery...on us! We could easily mark up the price to 20 pounds and get the same demand!

    • @andrewberghorn5598
      @andrewberghorn5598 3 роки тому +2

      You can't have it, you can *buy* it

    • @JamesBowmanUK
      @JamesBowmanUK 2 роки тому +17

      "This statue of our king is very, very important to my culture."
      "Well then, for just a tenner you can get an inexact 1/25th scale model of it as a novelty pencil topper, or even a gonk!"

  • @lucieptacnikova8039
    @lucieptacnikova8039 3 роки тому +1104

    "The secret ingredient is crime."

  • @ReegusReever
    @ReegusReever 5 років тому +4330

    Glasgow Celtic Champions

    • @borismuller86
      @borismuller86 5 років тому +13

      Ryan house colours.

    • @sammmm87
      @sammmm87 5 років тому +13

      Incredibly impressed by how well his shirt matches the backdrop!

    • @JasonZakrajsek
      @JasonZakrajsek 5 років тому +6

      I like how the background and his shirt change for each part of this special.

    • @how2pick4name
      @how2pick4name 5 років тому +1

      It's called "a stylist"

    • @BYERE
      @BYERE 5 років тому +3

      The fact that the background matches his hair AND shirt just makes it better

  • @masterxl97
    @masterxl97 4 роки тому +9472

    “No, you can’t have this artifact! It’s been in the British Museum for two hundred years!”
    “Yeah, but before that it had been in India for two thousand!”
    EDIT: Y’know, if everyone who commented on UA-cam videos burned to death, it might solve world hunger. Just a thought.

    • @spiritusIRATUS
      @spiritusIRATUS 4 роки тому +574

      *angry greek/roman/egyptian/persian/indian/chinese/aboriginal..etc..etc.. noises*

    • @annmariebusu9924
      @annmariebusu9924 4 роки тому +275

      @@spiritusIRATUS Africans too

    • @ivannierez7731
      @ivannierez7731 4 роки тому +252

      @@spiritusIRATUS In the case of China thank god they stole it. Would've been destroyed in the cultural involution and the great leap backwards.

    • @mogznwaz
      @mogznwaz 3 роки тому +19

      Possession is 9 tenths of the law.

    • @illegalhunter7
      @illegalhunter7 3 роки тому +367

      @@ivannierez7731 but it's still their history and their artifacts. some rando country seethed in gross superiority complex has no right over it whatsoever. One can never fully justify it.

  • @theohio3460
    @theohio3460 5 років тому +6584

    “Never before I’ve been so offended by something I 100% agree with”

    • @zimwityaki5021
      @zimwityaki5021 5 років тому +191

      I think it's completely tenable to be critical of colonialism while tolerating what's happening these days. The former was coercive and ethically/economically disastrous, while the latter is the opposite for the most part...

    • @LambentIchor
      @LambentIchor 5 років тому +230

      @Jack Tyrrell Globalism is a result of a capitalism trying to erase national boundaries. And you are right that capitalism does cause immigration because people want to move to where they can have a better life. Marx warned that it would. The capitalist will either import cheap labour or export capital to parts where there is cheap labour.
      But that isn't the same as colonialism: "the policy or practice of acquiring full or partial political control over another country, occupying it with settlers, and exploiting it economically."
      Economic migrants who enter a country are not taking control over that country; they become part of it by contributing to it. By doing this they aren't in any way erasing the borders that make up nations. Nations can continue to trade amongst each other. It is a false equivalence to say economic migrants are colonists.
      It is transnational corporations that are creating Globalism. They pay off politicians who act against national interests by instituting trading treaties that force nations to lower their standards. International trade is predicated upon the nation, it's right there in the name.
      If you are for the nation refusing to kow-tow to the corporations who would usurp their sovereignty I'm with you. But that isn't done by attacking migrants who strengthen nations by supporting them in taxes they pay, and in services they provide.

    • @simplekaty
      @simplekaty 5 років тому +185

      @Jack Tyrrell Jack, moving somewhere new and working there is hardly the same thing as invading with an army and pillaging, is it now?

    • @Flamethrower1942
      @Flamethrower1942 5 років тому

      UNATCO recruitment ain't what it once was..... snowflake now.

    • @kingofools
      @kingofools 5 років тому +71

      @Jack Tyrrell Well, look at that. In a single post you showed absolute ignorance of two topics!
      Right-wing idiocy at its finest.

  • @myloabraham-rt5bw
    @myloabraham-rt5bw Рік тому +44

    “Not right now selfish” gets me every time

  • @venlasalo4767
    @venlasalo4767 4 роки тому +7083

    Britain: So you want to take from me what I have rightfully stolen?

    • @MrConstantine02
      @MrConstantine02 4 роки тому +26

      @Anglus Patria well to be fair you could have NOT invaded other places in the first place.

    • @adriebaby4137
      @adriebaby4137 4 роки тому +74

      Inconceivable!

    • @finlaymackenzie6678
      @finlaymackenzie6678 4 роки тому +42

      ***ENGLAND!!!!! NOT Britain. The Scottish and Welsh are nothing like the English. We hate them as much as everybody else does!!!

    • @donkmeister
      @donkmeister 4 роки тому +64

      @@finlaymackenzie6678 Dude, stop the hate. You only speak for yourself. I'm Welsh, I don't hate the English. Why would I hate an entire nation of people? I've only met some of them. If you must hate, hate specific people based on their own deeds and actions. For what it's worth I know Scots who are married to English people, so not all Scots hate the English either.

    • @SleepySir
      @SleepySir 3 роки тому +9

      @@donkmeister I mean most Irish like me hate the english with every fibre of our being, we have the right to though lol

  • @kristenblount8422
    @kristenblount8422 4 роки тому +2052

    Makes me think of the time someone stole my one of a kind, custom made bicycle. The police wouldn't get it back for me because I didn't have a serial #. I didn't even know bikes had those but I'm pretty sure you use a serial # to differentiate between mass produced bikes that look pretty much identical. Mine was one of a kind & the designer gave the police more than enough evidence that it was my bike. They knew it was mine but they just didn't care. Eventually the thief left it outside and one of my friends just stole it back. Maybe one day the other countries will just steal their shit back.

    • @JoseFerreira-ms9xi
      @JoseFerreira-ms9xi 3 роки тому +33

      Or maybe just maybe it gets stolen by aliens

    • @shairafaiza7261
      @shairafaiza7261 3 роки тому +17

      i hope so :) one day

    • @odomobo
      @odomobo 3 роки тому +104

      I hope now that you got it back, you've etched "1" on it somewhere

    • @JPG126
      @JPG126 3 роки тому +33

      Just a friendly heads up that the majority of the things in the British museum were bought and paid for.
      So your analogy of "countries just stealing their shit back" would be like if my Grandad sold his war medal to a foreign museum and I decide I'm going to steal it because it has meaning to me. Not "stealing back", just plain old stealing.

    • @kristenblount8422
      @kristenblount8422 3 роки тому +150

      @@JPG126 I am not saying the museum is full of stolen artifacts but they definitely have things that were legitimately stolen. There are multiple countries asking for the British Museum to return their artifacts. Those items were not sold to the museum even if the majority of the museum's items were bought & paid for.

  • @CarolinaSRuiz-bn7lf
    @CarolinaSRuiz-bn7lf 4 роки тому +2021

    His posture reminds me of C3PO somehow

    • @Skywalker-pw7xl
      @Skywalker-pw7xl 4 роки тому +5

      Oh yeah, totally!!

    • @SandyHolmes0001
      @SandyHolmes0001 4 роки тому +1

      :D!

    • @drabanddour
      @drabanddour 4 роки тому +18

      The entirety of him reminds me of C3PO

    • @Alovatololo
      @Alovatololo 4 роки тому +4

      His shoulders are very stiff and he points his elbows outwards at times.

    • @dlvnmedia
      @dlvnmedia 4 роки тому +12

      The gold outfit is not helping convince me otherwise

  • @brianfoley4328
    @brianfoley4328 3 роки тому +85

    "We're still looking at it"...brilliant.

  • @rayk4651
    @rayk4651 5 років тому +1862

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it a million times more, I love Mr. James Acaster

    • @bnap3221
      @bnap3221 5 років тому +9

      Stop saying the same time over and over and over, it’s fvcking boring

    • @joshjohnson2600
      @joshjohnson2600 5 років тому +6

      How long would it take you to actually say that 1 million more times? Do you have no hobbies?

    • @ReegusReever
      @ReegusReever 5 років тому +3

      Once is plenty, mate.

    • @roypanwitz9166
      @roypanwitz9166 5 років тому

      Mantage

    • @TayNez63
      @TayNez63 5 років тому +2

      I love him on would I lie to you ua-cam.com/video/a20TMDFhedM/v-deo.html

  • @Bhatakti_Hawas
    @Bhatakti_Hawas 4 роки тому +17988

    British Museum is the world's biggest crime scene
    - John Oliver

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 4 роки тому +441

      John Oliver is one of the biggest crimes to comedy

    • @JohnSmith-ki3li
      @JohnSmith-ki3li 4 роки тому +75

      @@DamnedDave agreed.

    • @antislutful
      @antislutful 4 роки тому +89

      @@DamnedDave really? I know he's not that good, but there are more famous but much less funnier than him.

    • @joshuagraham967
      @joshuagraham967 4 роки тому +200

      @@spartand001 Fuck off, it's all true about the museum

    • @joshuagraham967
      @joshuagraham967 4 роки тому +63

      @Jack Smith What part is inaccurate?

  • @erickruckenberg8716
    @erickruckenberg8716 4 роки тому +4284

    So a British Museum in overly simplified terms would be considered an empire's scrapbook.

    • @unclenogbad1509
      @unclenogbad1509 4 роки тому +23

      Yeah, pretty much.

    • @XX2Media
      @XX2Media 4 роки тому +62

      More like their loot storage, to be honest...

    • @malahammer
      @malahammer 4 роки тому +59

      Or.............the biggest crime scene in the world :)

    • @XX2Media
      @XX2Media 4 роки тому +6

      @@malahammer It could easily be both and cannot be neither.

    • @ef1876
      @ef1876 3 роки тому +44

      A scrapbook but all the scraps have been torn off of other people’s family pictures

  • @nikparv7
    @nikparv7 2 роки тому +309

    As an Indian, I literally just read the title and before it even started playing I'd already liked it and after watching the whole thing I gotta say, it wasn't a wrong move on my part.

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 2 роки тому +10

      Are you a descendent of a Mughal war lord or the people they subjugated?

    • @connordrew2634
      @connordrew2634 2 роки тому +27

      @@fortuitousthings8606 no, you see. The Indians were a benign, peaceful people, their wealth being obtained not through any morally objectionable means.
      Then, the white man came to the subcontinent and introduced warfare to a race who before this would not hurt a fly. Indians never conquered anyone - they dealt with each other as civilized beings, the artifacts and wealth they possessed having sprouted from the ground some generations before.

    • @samratsm5660
      @samratsm5660 2 роки тому

      @@fortuitousthings8606 Proud Hindus (the original community of India) unlike the other invaders!

    • @zyzzsdisciples6707
      @zyzzsdisciples6707 Рік тому

      If it wasn’t for Britain your nation wouldn’t even exist, and now you’re upset about them taking some trinkets, at a time where empire building was accepted? Before Britain came you used to burn widows alive. Even your own intelligentsia would call Britain’s civilising rule the “knife of sugar”

    • @katharineeavan9705
      @katharineeavan9705 Рік тому

      @@connordrew2634 Because if a family is a right chavvy asbo sort, that means it's perfectly acceptable to steal their possessions, starve half of them to death on purpose, kill a couple for kicking off about it, and then use their prized possessions as ornamental headgear to remember the good old times when you could get away with that sort of thing a bit easier.
      Most of those artefacts we stole which they so dearly want back were created hundreds if not thousands of years before we got there. If anyone was mistreated in the gaining of the vast majority of them, it was Indian workers throughout history, historical Indian nations who other historical Indian nations took them from. They aren't some mysterious relics that appeared in the middle of unknown territory only for India to unfairly claim them as its own through pillaging some innocent, nameless but definitely-not-Indian strawmen. This isn't a "we don't know who owned them originally, India stole them and then we stole them off India". We know they originated in India, and even if we didn't, it's not like we're nobly repatriating them to their original owners elsewhere. We know we fucking knicked them, we don't even deny it. We know we don't have any real justification for keeping them other than "we like that we get tourism money off them and it makes us feel like an Empire all over again to flaunt them and know you can't make us give them back". Closest to a valid excuse we have is "if we give YOU your stuff back then we have to give EVERYONE their stuff back, and we really don't want to"

  • @capedcrusader7812
    @capedcrusader7812 4 роки тому +16504

    "The sun doesn't set in the British empire because even god doesn't trust the British in the dark" -

    • @snowtfl5617
      @snowtfl5617 4 роки тому +192

      😭😭😂 that was a good one

    • @zenjeongrebelle1808
      @zenjeongrebelle1808 4 роки тому +77

      Snow TFL it’s not a joke😔

    • @bosgaurus1
      @bosgaurus1 4 роки тому +393

      Quoting Dr. Shashi Tharoor from his debate speech at Oxford Union, eh?

    • @bosgaurus1
      @bosgaurus1 4 роки тому +164

      @@jamesdashper1316, imagine someone who is a Brit and has made an entire comedy routine on the subject of worldwide economy changing theft, murder, and rapine by his own people, and someone of potentially any culture, including Brit, injects a comment about the same subject and immediately discovers butthurt.
      Also, funny how the word Brit, as used by some, totally ignores the fact that the label Brit also includes all of the minorities living in Britain.
      Naturally, those who live outside of Britain are able to discern a bit more quickly than many living inside, that the population called "Brit" is actually itself a small minority in the population of the world.

    • @johnpears9558
      @johnpears9558 4 роки тому +98

      @James Dashper being British isn’t a race it’s a nationality millions of different ethic groups live in the UK assuming they’re all white is kinda idiotic.

  • @DUbZXtreme
    @DUbZXtreme 5 років тому +3555

    See where other countries are getting it wrong is that they didn't bring a flag.

    • @chrisnaaden3496
      @chrisnaaden3496 5 років тому +75

      My man Eddie nice

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 5 років тому +19

      we took freedom around the world

    • @Daz555Daz
      @Daz555Daz 5 років тому +84

      @@DamnedDave That's not really how Empires work.

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 5 років тому +43

      It is we brought freedom by force like all good Empires
      I was only playing btw

    • @Daz555Daz
      @Daz555Daz 5 років тому +68

      @The Coward Liberius and in payment they raped the land and slaughtered the people.

  • @justmedic9689
    @justmedic9689 4 роки тому +1905

    Land: exists
    Britain: it's free real estate

    • @GreenCocanix
      @GreenCocanix 4 роки тому +7

      It is

    • @SleepySir
      @SleepySir 3 роки тому +2

      Ireland: *------*

    • @CR4MKY
      @CR4MKY 3 роки тому +25

      Turtle Island: **having civilizations of people and sacred culture** colonizers: "well if no one else is gonna have this-"

    • @scintillam_dei
      @scintillam_dei 3 роки тому

      Britain exists:
      Hitler: 'Cause I saved the British lads at Dunkirk.

    • @lizastarpeter4295
      @lizastarpeter4295 3 роки тому +3

      A wise Englishwoman once said “I have this flag, see...”

  • @sinceslicedbread7422
    @sinceslicedbread7422 Рік тому +187

    This now is one of my favourite skits. Well observed. Well done.

    • @xythrial
      @xythrial Рік тому +1

      I basically have it memorized I rewatch it so often

    • @robot_spider
      @robot_spider Рік тому +2

      I hope you've seen the whole performance. The bit about British Museum erasers (rubbers) almost broke my brain. I didn't know whether to laugh at the joke, or cry at how beautifully the joke was constructed.

  • @garrybarry4286
    @garrybarry4286 4 роки тому +2913

    The struggle Australian Aboriginals had to get back bones of their ancestors was real.

    • @cathuang6212
      @cathuang6212 4 роки тому +52

      Nick S that's literally not how anything works. have you never read or heard of "guns, germs and steel" by jared diamond?

    • @SuperNictastic
      @SuperNictastic 4 роки тому +7

      @@cathuang6212 Yes it is. People that adapt, invent and progress own the world and those that never did still live in squalor. Have you ever been to the Northern territories. It's populated by Abo's waiting for the bottle shops to open so they can get drunk on their giro. It's just natural selection in it's modern form.
      Huns' germs and steel is a load of nonsense. It's base don the premise that Europe for example was just lucky. Lucky in where it is located, lucky in that it developed agriculture. Absolute nonsense.

    • @Gobsmacked29
      @Gobsmacked29 4 роки тому +144

      @@SuperNictastic humanity's existence is just a bunch of luck, so the premise about Europe being lucky isn't nonsense.

    • @SuperNictastic
      @SuperNictastic 4 роки тому +7

      @@Gobsmacked29 ok. I. Will leg you have your moment. Explain to me why Europe was just lucky and a much older people's like Africans weren't.

    • @cathuang6212
      @cathuang6212 4 роки тому +126

      Nick S if you look into the argument then you'll see it does make a lot of sense, or you simply believe, nah, fuck compassion and empathy, what other reason could there be than the fact they're meant to be used as a stepping stone for the True Humans? and you're ignoring the systematic problems that present themselves in modern day. Taking away land and blank treaties today that still encourage cultural genocide, with choices like "throw away a part of yourself to join the cog in 'real society' or continue to suffer in reservations or insufficient land... oh and also if you make the wrong choice, in this difficult decision, it's YOUR fault."
      And yes, that's exactly what a large part of it is. Tribes that migrated to Europe instead of to the Americas got lucky. They got lucky their continent lays horizontal so that the types of food they grew held competition. They got lucky their tribes relied on competition and pressures of looming war rather than tribes that were nomadic, or maybe tribes that warred on a smaller scale because trade was so much more important. Yes, they got lucky that the Aztecs were so caught of guard by guns, yes they were lucky first nations decided to help the europeans in their first few winters instead of letting them die of scurvy, or instead of keeping their mouth shut. Isn't it just so lucky that because of Europe's cramped and dysentery areas, they were able to ramp up the diseases and they carried to the Americas, and then blamed the natives for not have had the immune systems for something they'd never encountered? The only reason why they are the people who could 'adapt, invent, and progress' was BECAUSE of their situations, their opportunities, and yes, luck.
      It's easy to point at modern examples and say that because of all the progression made today, any mistake or unhealthy choice couldn't possibly be because of anything other than the fact that they MUST simply be inferior as evolved humans. Natural selection is obsolete in this day and age where help and compassion can be provided to anybody, and the only thing in the way of that is systematic oppression and misinformation.
      You should try empathy.

  • @dbo6948
    @dbo6948 5 років тому +1997

    This was certainly inspired by Eddie Izzard... “I claim this country for Britain! And they’re like, ‘you can’t claim us, we live here,’ Well... do you have a flag?” Hahahaha

    • @odinvik7821
      @odinvik7821 5 років тому +83

      no flag no country, thats.the rule that I just made up

    • @Chaiserzose
      @Chaiserzose 5 років тому +56

      this was also certainly inspired by something else in the first place... things like "British Empire", "History" and "having a basic education and a brain".

    • @alejandroherrera1884
      @alejandroherrera1884 5 років тому

      @Jack Tyrrell And still they robbed it.

    • @CBfrmcardiff
      @CBfrmcardiff 4 роки тому +8

      Well the Eddie Izzard sketch is funny because it's sort-of true - it's a humorous description of the old imperialist mindset, and Europeans did put a lot of store in flags. Some explorers in Africa arrived with boxes of cheap flags and the intention of persuading the locals to put them up.
      This sketch is less effective because, although the *punchline* ("We're still looking at it") is true, the 'we stole it all' narrative is mostly a half-truth or even a bit of a lie. It doesn't reflect the mindset of the so-called thieves nor the practical situation in which they operated. Really, a bunch of rich curious people from what was momentarily the only rich corner of the planet went around the world gathering curiosities, and then they put them in a museum for everybody to see and study. There was no force involved, except when items were taken as trophies in wars which were not fought for the sake of the items themselves. So really there was no outright 'theft'

    • @milfbangaable
      @milfbangaable 4 роки тому +25

      @@CBfrmcardiff That's the dumbest alibi I've ever read. By the way, how'd they get rich? Divine intervention? How's about raping and pillaging?

  • @Skuiggly
    @Skuiggly 4 роки тому +4998

    This is just the plot of black panther

    • @ethanmcfarland8240
      @ethanmcfarland8240 4 роки тому +111

      Pretty sure there wasn’t a part about a guy wanting to commit genocide in that but okay

    • @Sinathikunene
      @Sinathikunene 4 роки тому +107

      Watching that scene was the first time I actually realized that hey, those are stolen goods.

    • @Mjolkmaestro
      @Mjolkmaestro 4 роки тому +88

      @@Sinathikunene That's great! Soon you'll be all like "Hey, wait a minute! This imperialism thing is still going on, isn't it?" and then it's revolution time 🏴

    • @electricangel4488
      @electricangel4488 4 роки тому +4

      @@Sinathikunene i mean not realy
      stealing the dudes beer afther a bar fight aint that bad
      its part of the fun
      so is looting
      general human trait

    • @Lodatzor
      @Lodatzor 4 роки тому +25

      @@Sinathikunene
      And that's the problem with them putting it into Black Panther. They're not stolen. They were mostly obtained via legitimate means, and it's merely a point of inaccurate propaganda to suggest that they were stolen. But, because you saw it in a Marvel movie, it gave that idea some credibility in your eyes. Propaganda is often that subtle.

  • @BeguillingMirage
    @BeguillingMirage 3 роки тому +38

    The “understanding words” to “laughing” ratio in this clip is superb

  • @Hardlight835
    @Hardlight835 5 років тому +508

    The background and James's outfit looks like, it was created by Wes Anderson.

    • @MrJackandEmily
      @MrJackandEmily 5 років тому +29

      Wes Andersons movies were loosely based on that background. Not many people know that..

    • @Hardlight835
      @Hardlight835 5 років тому +5

      @@MrJackandEmily It all makes sense now!

    • @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945
      @chelseawildflowerloftinwey1945 4 роки тому +2

      he’s a big Wes Anderson fan!

    • @Patchimus
      @Patchimus 4 роки тому +9

      James Acaster was actually created in a laboratory by Wes Anderson

  • @him050
    @him050 4 роки тому +879

    This is why it’s easier with military museums. “Umm, can we have that tank back please?” “Sorry chap, you lost the battle and your men a abandoned it. Rules is rules.”

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 4 роки тому +61

      @@enei7045 Okay but nowhere in the rules of war is there anything about how the winner of a war gets dibs on the losers' stuff. Indeed, the modern rules of war clearly state that objects of great historical, religious and/or cultural value aren't considered valid military targets, so it's essentially the exact opposite situation to take someone's artifacts in this manner.
      A tank is a military tool, if another force seizes it, they're just ensuring that they won't have to fight against it later. When they take people's cultural artifacts, all they're doing is behaving like pillagers and vandals.

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 4 роки тому +25

      @@enei7045 Okay but we're following the rules of war now like a civil society. Agreeing to those rules is a clear affirmation that we realize that people pillaging in that manner was wrong to do, acknowledging that if we had been following those rules back then, we would be committing a war crime.
      With all that in mind, how is it not fair that the nations that those items were looted from get them back?
      Like when slavery was ended we didn't just say "okay everyone we realize the institution of slavery is wrong now, however we didn't realize it back when all of our current slaves were first enslaved. So obviously we should be allowed to keep them enslaved because we can't be held accountable for our own actions back then."
      And this isn't just a matter of ancient kingdoms looting from one another, the British empire that stole everything is the same political entity that exists today. How are they somehow no longer liable for the artifacts they still that are flagrantly stolen from people that really want them back now?

    • @oswaldrabbit1409
      @oswaldrabbit1409 4 роки тому +11

      @@evansageser6943 because that's not even the same scenario. One is an object, the other a person.
      I actually agree with you but I think your example is shaky at best.

    • @evansageser6943
      @evansageser6943 4 роки тому +15

      @@oswaldrabbit1409 In both cases however it is something that is treated like property that later laws decide is not acceptable to take as property however. Yes, I think pillaging objects is less extreme than abject slavery, but it still gets to the heart of the problem, that being that you can't just grandfather in past misdeeds. If the law suddenly decides it is wrong to own something, you don't get to justify that you retain ownership of those illegal things just because you acquired them prior to the law's passage, particularly given how clear-cut the case for prior ownership is.

    • @stevevee8831
      @stevevee8831 4 роки тому +5

      I got a tour round Chelsea Pensioners, old lad who was giving us the tour was showing all of these standards, flags etc. Taken in battle from other countries, there was French, Spanish, Dutch, couple of others and Americans... Americans are still asking for their standard back, have been rebutted several times 'I don't think you get it... You lost it....'

  • @cherrysherry44
    @cherrysherry44 4 роки тому +588

    I'm Chinese and when my parents took us to see the British museum, they just call it the "Great Thief Museum (大盗博物馆)". Had a great time there, sketched the venus de milo and saw the fountain heads robbed from us during the 8 nations war where they burned down a palace close to Beijing (圆明园). Anyone else here from a country that calls the museum something similar? I don't think that nickname is something my parents made up.

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 4 роки тому +7

      @@insulam821 Beta.

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 4 роки тому +145

      How about you give the tibetans back their land?

    • @confnin1863
      @confnin1863 4 роки тому +227

      @@Kyle_Hubbard Bro they're just a racially Chinese person. They're not the government or anything, and they were simply trying to tell an amusing anecdote. What are you even trying to accomplish here?

    • @Kyle_Hubbard
      @Kyle_Hubbard 4 роки тому +64

      @@confnin1863 Pointing out the hypocrisy.

    • @confnin1863
      @confnin1863 4 роки тому +138

      @@Kyle_Hubbard The commenter was talking about how their parents were the ones to call it that, not themself. And even then, it's not like they're blaming all English people for stealing their stuff and refusing to return it. If they had actually outright blamed anyone in the comment, there may have been hypocrisy, but as it stands, your comment was uncalled for and just pointless overall.

  • @Jmvars
    @Jmvars 3 роки тому +82

    Interesting that this should pop up in my recommended since we (Sámi peoples) are currently trying to get a drum that is currently in a Danish museum. It was "confiscated" from a shaman in 1692 that they conveniently also murdered with an axe.

    • @sarsok659
      @sarsok659 3 роки тому +3

      Is there anything we can do to help? a petition or a way to get more awareness?

    • @Jmvars
      @Jmvars 3 роки тому +4

      @@sarsok659 Not that I'm aware of. Supposedly the museum has already agreed, but it's up to the ministry of culture to decide on whether we get it or not.

    • @Kalani_Saiko
      @Kalani_Saiko 2 роки тому +1

      Reminds me of the aboriginal man they decapitated and stole his head.

    • @LordUnas
      @LordUnas 2 роки тому

      Did he use the drum to place magic spells on the Danish gentlemen? Because I could see them getting rather pissy about that sort of thing. Maybe they murdered him for some other reason, like he was talking shit about Denmark or something, and afterwards they noticed the drum lying next to the dude’s tent and one of them thought ”that’d make a good souvenir for my kid, who collects stuff that his daddy robbed from ancient cultures during his travels.” Then the kid died of some curse that had been placed on the drum just in case the wrong person got their hands on it, and they put the drum in a museum so that nobody else would pick up the ancient Sami curse. And Denmark are still angry about the curse, so they are keeping the drum just to spite the Sami people, who they blame for turning the Danish language into drunk-sounding gibberish and stealing the top piece of bread from all their sandwiches. It’s probably a logical explanation like that.

    • @fortuitousthings8606
      @fortuitousthings8606 2 роки тому

      Where did he get the drum from?

  • @hop-skip-ouch8798
    @hop-skip-ouch8798 5 років тому +484

    James as the next Doctor. Get this going people.

    • @youtubecensors5419
      @youtubecensors5419 5 років тому +14

      Impossible, he's a white male.

    • @pixelnaut8076
      @pixelnaut8076 5 років тому +53

      UA-cam Censors one woman doctor and everybody gets triggered

    • @youtubecensors5419
      @youtubecensors5419 5 років тому +5

      @@pixelnaut8076 "Once the wagons start circling, they never stop." This has happened to nearly every franchise, noticing a solid pattern after numerous occasions isn't "triggered". Nice try attempting to co-opt the term though. High five!

    • @Superman-pj7ff
      @Superman-pj7ff 5 років тому +26

      Can it just be him going back in time putting shit back where it should be

    • @pixelnaut8076
      @pixelnaut8076 5 років тому +31

      "nearly every franchise"
      Doesn't actually list any franchises.
      Also, uh, what's wrong with women being more prominent in roles? People always get weird about men being "pushed aside" when it's pretty much equal, if not catching up for the years of men getting the spotlight while women get sexualised etc

  • @Sarah.Riedel
    @Sarah.Riedel 4 роки тому +712

    This is the single most thoroughly British individual on the planet

    • @chrismiller1261
      @chrismiller1261 4 роки тому +141

      except for the self-awareness about the empire

    • @Sarah.Riedel
      @Sarah.Riedel 4 роки тому +11

      @@chrismiller1261 good point

    • @bmg2507
      @bmg2507 4 роки тому +5

      Hmm I doubt he'd be triggered by facts he doesn't like though a modern Brit trait (Brexit era) Therefore I dissagree.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 3 роки тому +3

      @@bmg2507 Mate just cuz your salty about history, doesn't mean you can project your weakness on us.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 3 роки тому +3

      @Robert Apostu lot's of a-hole football fans do that, it's not exactly exlusive to England

  • @btryx9378
    @btryx9378 4 роки тому +471

    British people be like: started stealin' it... Had a break-down...bonapetit.

    • @ghostpants4920
      @ghostpants4920 3 роки тому +1

      Time for other huge nations to start stealin shit, like China. aren't they in the process of stealing countries and sea land lol

    • @raspberrycrowns9494
      @raspberrycrowns9494 3 роки тому +1

      oh no are you gonna be alright
      Britain: no it's fine, it wasn't my break-down
      *centuries old empire collapses in the background*

    • @Tht1Gy
      @Tht1Gy 3 роки тому +1

      "British people be like..."
      Ugh! Appalling grammar.

    • @dantemaquiavelli9039
      @dantemaquiavelli9039 3 роки тому +6

      @@Tht1Gy well, I think the guy is using AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) which is considered a form of speech used by middle and working class African-Americans in casual situations, but has been used in the internet too (Stan Twitter is an example).
      Yes, the grammar in traditional English wouldn't be correct, but the user is just using AAVE slang.

    • @Tht1Gy
      @Tht1Gy 3 роки тому

      @@dantemaquiavelli9039 I am aware.
      I still think it's appalling. A lack of knowledge of grammar does not excuse that lack.

  • @AGalahcalledSammi
    @AGalahcalledSammi Рік тому +57

    Hardcore comedy fan for 50+ years, and this is truly gold.
    Thanx James.

    • @robot_spider
      @robot_spider Рік тому +1

      Same here... well, almost 50 years. You see a lot of talented comedians, and a lot of talented story tellers. Making this a 4-part series on Netflix allowed James to show he is both a great story-teller and a great comedian. Makes callbacks and interweaves common threads throughout.

    • @Gooders478
      @Gooders478 5 місяців тому

      Jesus H Christ.

  • @ballconei
    @ballconei 5 років тому +386

    I saw James Acaster in the park practicing a South African accent he must be preparing for a movie role or something. He was very immersed in the character because when I asked him for a photograph he pretended to get very upset and spat at my wife.

    • @AsitorCorporation
      @AsitorCorporation 5 років тому +183

      I feel like I'm missing something in this story but I enjoy it nonetheless

    • @eternaldragonoid9979
      @eternaldragonoid9979 5 років тому +5

      You and your wife probably didn't kno de wae

    • @sunxel3264
      @sunxel3264 5 років тому +1

      pizza who said he didn't?

    • @davidjohnkruger8717
      @davidjohnkruger8717 5 років тому +18

      And then we (the true South Africans) polished the World Cup trophy and said. You can look at it. But stand behind the ropes!! 😂🇿🇦

    • @joshyc2006
      @joshyc2006 5 років тому

      @@pizzadoog I thought it was an ngannou quote lol

  • @FrozenRoxas
    @FrozenRoxas 5 років тому +47

    I love the way he talks and his expressions (or lack thereof). He's very unique

    • @kathybramley5609
      @kathybramley5609 5 років тому

      I've never been a fan of the word unique, though people often tell me I should embrace it, be proud. It's Othering though, especially when you hear it a lot. And when you're not as successful or seemingly surrounded by friends, family and supporters as James is!!

    • @FrozenRoxas
      @FrozenRoxas 5 років тому +1

      @@kathybramley5609 To be honest I've never thought of the word that way. To me it just means different / distinct / interesting. And I don't think different is a bad thing.

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому +1

      Well everyone here has decided to have a nice deep chat lmao

    • @helphelpimbeingrepressed9347
      @helphelpimbeingrepressed9347 4 роки тому +1

      I don't like the word quango while we're getting things off our chest. It's not even a proper word, it's an acronym really but it struts around like it's a proper established word...disgusting.

  • @TheTailors1
    @TheTailors1 10 місяців тому +14

    I love at :17 when he bends over the stool then looks behind him to make sure the coast is clear before saying "and we got all the swank didn't we?"

  • @Sickofdrawingcowboys717
    @Sickofdrawingcowboys717 3 роки тому +44

    This is possibly his best bit he'll come up with. Absolutely fantastic.

  • @aishahussain6087
    @aishahussain6087 4 роки тому +178

    This is how characters in Wes Anderson's movies dress

  • @annabellesoe7623
    @annabellesoe7623 3 роки тому +151

    Boy one of ours isn't even at the museum, it's on the Queen's crown 😂 yep we r on a whole another level, if u don't get it, I mean the Ruby on the Queen's crown is from Myanmar (Burma)

    • @shairafaiza7261
      @shairafaiza7261 3 роки тому +18

      the kohinoor diamond for me though

    • @Fidgottio
      @Fidgottio 3 роки тому +13

      @@shairafaiza7261 Ownership of the Koh-i-Noor was signed over to the East India Company by Tej Singh, as part of the Last Treaty of Lahore, then gifted to Queen Victoria. Prior to that it had changed hands many times through war and as a gift. Until someone takes it or it's given as a gift by the British government, it's with its rightful owners

    • @ishitasharma4530
      @ishitasharma4530 3 роки тому +45

      @@Fidgottio yeah it was singned over to the east India Company because they wanted it. Because the kings had no power and the British had hegemony over all the actions of the king. King tej singh was made to sign it by the empire. They robbed people taking lagaan from them each year even if there were no crops. The kings if they wanted to remain in power had to do what they were ordered to. If the east India Company didn't take over our entire nation and made us our slaves and stayed the hell away from us we wouldn't have to give them anything. Nothing they took from us during colonial times belongs to them. Something that is given under force is not given "rightfully" It is called snatching. If I came in your home, said you were my slave from today, stole everything you have and asked you to work for me and to get me off your back you gave me your family heirloom... I wouldn't by any means consider it rightfully given.

    • @ishitasharma4530
      @ishitasharma4530 3 роки тому +29

      @@Fidgottio And in 1849, after imprisoning Jindan, the British forced Duleep to sign a legal document amending the Treaty of Lahore, that required Duleep to give away the Koh-i-Noor and all claim to sovereignty. The boy was only 10 years old. Still think it was rightfully taken?

    • @shrishtisinha6692
      @shrishtisinha6692 3 роки тому +11

      Lol, forced or coerced 'gifts' to the Queen, are just signed for stolen packages.

  • @SpecialKurbis
    @SpecialKurbis 4 роки тому +83

    He is beyond genius, every line he says in this sketch is comedy. A master craftsmen

    • @LGF79
      @LGF79 2 роки тому +2

      He reminds me of Monty Python with his delivery and gesticulations.

  • @victoriach.6054
    @victoriach.6054 3 роки тому +45

    As a Greek person, thank you

    • @404Dannyboy
      @404Dannyboy 3 роки тому +3

      @Soulja Ian They pike to pretend Britain stole their artifacts when Britain actually bought them off the Ottomans because the Ottomans had planned to destroy them.

    • @EvaPanag100
      @EvaPanag100 3 роки тому +1

      @@404Dannyboy Why hadn't Elgin (the "defender" of art and Marbles of Parthenon) bought all the Parthenon Marbles from the Ottomans while they planned to destroy them? Did also the Greeks pay the Ottomans not to destroy the rest Marbles of the Parthenon and for this reason they left to Greece what Elgin left then after he cut those artifacts in parts and transported to England?

    • @EvaPanag100
      @EvaPanag100 2 роки тому

      @Dan Seddon Please, it is a pity, for a country like the United Kingdom, to allow this injustice to exist with the Parthenon Marbles that Lord Elgin forcibly removed from the whole building because he was given the opportunity due to the Ottoman occupation then, only to earn yesterday / today money from their exploitation. It would be good to realize that for the Greeks it is their breath, their roots, their history and every concept related to democracy, philosophy and the contribution of the Greeks to the creation of western civilization. It would be very kind of the United Kingdom to return the marbles of the Parthenon, to reunite the expatriate Caryatids with the sisters, a beautiful image for the whole universe to see the Parthenon in its entirety.

  • @crazypiratesquirrel3038
    @crazypiratesquirrel3038 4 роки тому +179

    My favorite excuse I've ever heard for not giving antiquities back was basically "we'd love give them back but we don't think you have the facilities to care for something this old properly. As soon as you build a place we think is up to snuff then you can have it back.".

    • @ngaire1004
      @ngaire1004 4 роки тому +89

      Reminds me of a joke I think it was Trevor Noah, said. "We're not giving your stuff back because you can't take care of it properly. We know you can't because if you could we wouldn't have been able to steal it."

    • @ngaire1004
      @ngaire1004 4 роки тому +27

      @Chardonnay Smith That's just not true. The British museum values then in a very European way, which is to place it on a pedestal and try and make it last forever. I guarantee you The cultures that created these artefacts would have valued them just as much if not more, by using them for their intended purpose. Other cultures are perfectly capable of valuing their own art.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 3 роки тому +2

      @@ngaire1004 I believe a similar case is currently occurring in Denmark with a drum that belonged to a Samii shaman.

    • @404Dannyboy
      @404Dannyboy 3 роки тому +6

      @@ngaire1004 They didn't and haven't valued them historically. Hell, Europe only started valuing them recently.

    • @CollinMcLean
      @CollinMcLean 2 роки тому +16

      @Wilhelm Eley Ah yes I believe that it is listed in British Constitutional Law under the "Finders keepers no take backs!" clause...

  • @Flippie95
    @Flippie95 5 років тому +596

    That's not James Acaster, that's Pat Springleaf!

    • @markjames2343
      @markjames2343 5 років тому +35

      Why are your wire recordings available for public download!!

    • @RobCartwright
      @RobCartwright 5 років тому +16

      @@markjames2343 Say your prayers. Say your prayers.

    • @christianlesurfmusic
      @christianlesurfmusic 4 роки тому +2

      @@RobCartwright # Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me #

  • @mars6038
    @mars6038 5 років тому +165

    ‘one all, you punks’ really tied it together ahahaha

  • @masterxyr
    @masterxyr 3 роки тому +307

    I'd love to see presidents from all over the world just walk in with a bag and take it back.
    "Oh you're going to call the police? good, I'd like to report a theft"

    • @martinnijs8317
      @martinnijs8317 2 роки тому +23

      And they have immunity , so they really could do it.....

    • @masterxyr
      @masterxyr 2 роки тому +15

      @@martinnijs8317 pitty some of the stuff doesn't reaaaaally fit in a bag...

    • @Mackak_
      @Mackak_ 2 роки тому +10

      @@masterxyr nah you’ve just got small bags

  • @johannesjanda
    @johannesjanda 5 років тому +636

    One of the best comedians out there

    • @samueldaddo8182
      @samueldaddo8182 5 років тому +45

      BNO97 ! Wow what a lovely way to dictate someone’s opinions

    • @alexandercanella4479
      @alexandercanella4479 5 років тому +10

      @BNO97 ! watch him on Why Would I Lie to You. He's great.

    • @LukeStoltzfoos
      @LukeStoltzfoos 5 років тому +3

      absolutely my favorite comedian.

    • @greysuit17
      @greysuit17 5 років тому +5

      But it wasn’t really funny

    • @simontuffs4106
      @simontuffs4106 5 років тому +5

      @@samueldaddo8182 he's not dictating he's observing.

  • @sifuentes4113
    @sifuentes4113 4 роки тому +457

    Sooooo were just gonna pretend his shirt pocket isn't big enough to hold 2 water bottles and a bag of chips

    • @macfleetwood2015
      @macfleetwood2015 4 роки тому +26

      Watch the whole routine that comes up in a bit at some point

    • @evilazulan
      @evilazulan 4 роки тому +2

      Lmaooo

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому +16

      You mean crisps

    • @sifuentes4113
      @sifuentes4113 4 роки тому +1

      @@esme4048 lmaooooo what are those!?!?

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому +8

      @@sifuentes4113 crisps are what you call chips, and in england, chips are what you call fries, and in england, we also have fries. So we have fries, chips and crisps, but you guys just have chips and fries lol

  • @mrcolemore5831
    @mrcolemore5831 5 років тому +30

    I am Nigerian and I find this absolutely hilarious. James, what a legend you are!

  • @lucy3653
    @lucy3653 2 роки тому +21

    "We're still looking at it!" funniest part of this whole joke

  • @MrSirBoastAlot
    @MrSirBoastAlot 5 років тому +562

    Is this SHAGGY here from Scooby doo
    :I'm an Indian and I really love Irish accent! Just wanted to say that!
    Lemme know if there any Irishman!

    • @leesteal4458
      @leesteal4458 5 років тому +5

      Lol

    • @geck9011
      @geck9011 5 років тому +37

      "Oi oi Scoob, I reckon we're in a right pickle mate"

    • @smiller2044
      @smiller2044 5 років тому +6

      😭😂😁 Ruhroh, where's the Scooby snacks? 🐾

    • @swiftlymurmurs
      @swiftlymurmurs 5 років тому +42

      Oh Irish accents are marvellous, but James Acaster isn't Irish

    • @astrosherlock374
      @astrosherlock374 5 років тому +22

      There's not a nick of Irish in the way he talks my man

  • @uriah9559
    @uriah9559 5 років тому +257

    "this'll sound far-fetched..."

    • @conors4430
      @conors4430 4 роки тому +1

      w00dy not really, yes it’s told in a joking way but it’s pretty close to what happened.

    • @uriah9559
      @uriah9559 4 роки тому +2

      @@conors4430 ...

    • @ughasatu2004
      @ughasatu2004 4 роки тому +3

      R/whoosh

    • @thomaschristopherwhite9043
      @thomaschristopherwhite9043 4 роки тому

      I mean it sounds insane now a days. But the sun never did set on the British Empire back in the day.

    • @CH-xq6if
      @CH-xq6if 4 роки тому

      It covered 1/3 of the world 🌍

  • @robowealthy820
    @robowealthy820 3 роки тому +82

    Even his mic is the right colour.

  • @aerobyrdable
    @aerobyrdable 3 роки тому +8

    I literally got here by remembering one thing from this clip months later and just searched "James Acaster Cackle"... Took me right here.

  • @MegaRazzzz
    @MegaRazzzz 3 роки тому +68

    As an Indian, I'm sad that some of our artifacts got taken to Britain but looking at the state of our museums here, I say you can keep the stuff for a few more years while we tidy our place up a bit.

    • @x.3553
      @x.3553 3 роки тому +2

      agreed.

    • @mg1721
      @mg1721 3 роки тому +2

      our people aren't interested in museums, maybe they'll be interested if we bring them back or if the brits give it back

    • @MegaRazzzz
      @MegaRazzzz 3 роки тому

      @@mg1721 even if we bring them back, where are we going to keep them? Museums ideally, else at least in a deep underground bunker where they can be preserved, what what's the use of bringing them back?

    • @TheJohnRowley
      @TheJohnRowley 3 роки тому +6

      You likely wouldn't need to tidy up quite so much if the English hadn't colonised you and nicked all your stuff and made you and Pakistan enemies.

    • @MegaRazzzz
      @MegaRazzzz 3 роки тому +5

      @@TheJohnRowley of course. However, it's also a fact that our museums here in India are severely underfunded and even the stuff we have here are not being preserved and displayed properly.

  • @hornyonmain7085
    @hornyonmain7085 5 років тому +139

    He sounds like the consul from Monty Python’s Life of Brian

  • @SpinDash
    @SpinDash 3 роки тому +29

    How have I never seen this guy before? He’s great

  • @JakHensha_0
    @JakHensha_0 Рік тому +3

    "The last place anyone looks", was underrated

  • @zerofoxgavin1286
    @zerofoxgavin1286 5 років тому +197

    This guys father has got to be Vyvyan from the Young Ones.

  • @tanleelee268
    @tanleelee268 4 роки тому +12

    He is the most british person I've seen, but weirdly also he is the most relatable one yet!

  • @coolgirlmared2005
    @coolgirlmared2005 5 років тому +29

    Went to see james acaster a couple of weeks ago, best night of my life

  • @richarddr7690
    @richarddr7690 3 роки тому +5

    3 min, 30 seconds pure genius - what a legend

  • @The88Cheat
    @The88Cheat 4 роки тому +27

    "It's worked out well for us so far."
    Can't argue with results.

    • @camcloutier2738
      @camcloutier2738 3 роки тому

      True but the key phrase with bad behavior is always "so far".

  • @Batham55
    @Batham55 4 роки тому +144

    "Whatcha gonna do about it? That's right, nothing! Now bugger off!" - Britain

  • @paulsomers6048
    @paulsomers6048 5 років тому +49

    James Acaster is fantastic and right on the mark.

  • @lydiahill9850
    @lydiahill9850 Рік тому +3

    Wish I could got back in time to watch this special all over again the first time

  • @ARI-kn3wz
    @ARI-kn3wz 4 роки тому +13

    Find out about him exactly 3 min ago.......I think I’ve fallen in love help 😂😂❤️😭

  • @johnavery3918
    @johnavery3918 5 років тому +533

    He is so funny, he is having a go especially at the "British Museum" which in fact has nothing British in it at all.... well except for the odd Assistant on the National Minimum Wage

    • @queenbee1605
      @queenbee1605 5 років тому +30

      And the Crown Jewels at the Tower. They had the gall to charge me to come in see our stolen heritage. Got to give it to the Brits😆

    • @DamnedDave
      @DamnedDave 5 років тому +34

      its full of British things

    • @donttalktome2316
      @donttalktome2316 5 років тому +55

      You dribbling moron, it's full of british things. Like from the past 5000 years. Bog bodies, coins, armour, swords, artifacts and books. Fucking alsorts. Communists fuck off

    • @donttalktome2316
      @donttalktome2316 5 років тому +6

      @@queenbee1605 git gud

    • @remembertotakeshowerspleas355
      @remembertotakeshowerspleas355 5 років тому +23

      @@donttalktome2316 git morals you self satisfied fuck

  • @amputech
    @amputech 5 років тому +175

    His clothes are the same colour as the background. All i see is a floating head and hands.

    • @KeyserSoze1200
      @KeyserSoze1200 5 років тому +1

      Looks like the material used to make his clothes.

    • @musaire
      @musaire 5 років тому +2

      Unless his head and hands weren't the same color as well...

    • @garypearl4843
      @garypearl4843 4 роки тому

      Even his skin colour doesn't really stand out lol

  • @navyagupta6814
    @navyagupta6814 3 роки тому +42

    People: The Queen sure does love colour schemes
    James Acaster: hold my tea

  • @nathanielhellerstein5871
    @nathanielhellerstein5871 3 роки тому +48

    I have a better idea. Make exact measurements of everything they stole, and exact copies from those measurements; then give the originals back to their rightful owners, but keep displaying the exact copies, and sell other exact copies. If the British Museum is going to be a crime scene, then it might as well be a fence.

    • @stevesmith7843
      @stevesmith7843 2 роки тому

      to be fair, they're already in the hands of the "rightful" owners.... since THEY are the owners lol.... they should be grateful the british empire GAVE them their countries back.....

  • @robowealthy820
    @robowealthy820 4 роки тому +18

    "We're still looking at it!" So true...

  • @linux750
    @linux750 5 років тому +272

    Killmonger from "Black Panther" knows what this guy's talking about.

    • @razekpraxis
      @razekpraxis 5 років тому +52

      @S Wright you seem like a fun individual

    • @siddheshkakade2888
      @siddheshkakade2888 5 років тому +15

      Along with every Asian, African, Australian, American etc

    • @peej8541
      @peej8541 5 років тому +1

      Literally what I was thinking 😅

    • @keemstarkreamstar7069
      @keemstarkreamstar7069 5 років тому

      Razek Praxis Bruh my comment got deleted lmao

    • @TheGIJew.
      @TheGIJew. 5 років тому +4

      Dude, Kilmomger took a mask that he thought was cool, and a vibranium artifact so Klaue could sell it to the CIA. He didn't give a shit about returning stolen artifacts

  • @j.kapiris
    @j.kapiris 3 роки тому +36

    As a person of Greek heritage I really appreciate this video. Thank you for showing us that there's good people in your country

    • @jdlc903
      @jdlc903 3 роки тому +1

      What was your impression before?that people in Britain are bad?

    • @sakshikhatavkar3562
      @sakshikhatavkar3562 3 роки тому +3

      @@jdlc903 I mean they certainly haven't done anything to change that perception that's for sure. A lot of the commonwealth nations still view British people as snobby bastards who won't return what doesn't belong to them and rightfully so.

    • @jdlc903
      @jdlc903 3 роки тому +1

      @@sakshikhatavkar3562 most British view themselves as working class,so they can't really be described as snobby.upper class people perhaps. But they are in a minority.
      I was bemused by this comment by someone from Continental Europe from a country with large far right party,an issue which wouldn't prompt me to decide "oh there are bad people in that country "

    • @jdlc903
      @jdlc903 2 роки тому +1

      @Dan Seddon ikr

    • @freedomisthebasichumanright
      @freedomisthebasichumanright 2 роки тому

      @Dan Seddon terrible excuse for British colonialism

  • @domgreen1859
    @domgreen1859 5 років тому +189

    irrelevant i know but that microphone and mic stand is gorgeous does anyone know what make it is?!?

    • @joshuadavies108
      @joshuadavies108 5 років тому +20

      It's a standard Sure SM58 that has been painted to look like it's made of copper or something like that. The stand is again just a normal mic stand with a hat/coat stand base attached, again painted to look like wood/copper.

    • @ataphelicopter5734
      @ataphelicopter5734 5 років тому +5

      Brown with a striped cable

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому

      @@ataphelicopter5734 my thoughts exactly

    • @larsjorgensen2911
      @larsjorgensen2911 4 роки тому +1

      Shure now offers many color and finish variants of some of their mics (like the SM58 here), plus custom colors and graphics from the factory. Still many end users custom paint their own. Looks like this club was going for a vintage look with the mic and stand, it’s unique.

    • @domgreen1859
      @domgreen1859 4 роки тому

      Esme 404 I was interested in finding the specific model/make of the microphone and stand, I know what colour it is 😂 that’s why I like it.

  • @claraconlan6557
    @claraconlan6557 4 роки тому +8

    I love James and this bit is my favorite. I can’t watch it enough.

  • @olgavladi8239
    @olgavladi8239 4 роки тому +14

    Such a great artistic talent! Talking about actual complexe problem with wonderful sense of humour:) many greetings from Vladivostok, Russia

  • @xvariabledesign
    @xvariabledesign 3 роки тому +23

    Classic. People can point fingers at guilt easily, but when it comes to taking responsibility for guilt...then they find others to blame. Great vid!

    • @stevesmith7843
      @stevesmith7843 2 роки тому

      why would someone in ANY country, take RESPONSIBILITY for things THEY didn't do? seems illogical.

    • @kajamatousek247
      @kajamatousek247 Рік тому +1

      Oh yeah because James was personally responsible for stealing those things. Take your meds

    • @danitho
      @danitho Рік тому +1

      I feel like OP was referring to those with the "finders keepers" mentality. Not James...

  • @paddy-uf8el
    @paddy-uf8el 5 років тому +138

    Anyone else think he sounds like someone off Horrible Histories???

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 4 роки тому +1

      What's that??? 🤔

    • @amberpage7936
      @amberpage7936 4 роки тому +6

      Ma'az Kalim British Children’s TV show, it’s brilliant!

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому +4

      @@amberpage7936 agreed, every british person should know horrible histories

    • @johnmartin4119
      @johnmartin4119 4 роки тому +11

      Good to see a fellow Horrible Histories fan

    • @esme4048
      @esme4048 4 роки тому +6

      @@johnmartin4119 horrible histories is literally one of the best shows ever

  • @tarthgarl
    @tarthgarl 5 років тому +74

    “With the cunning use of flags” - Eddie

    • @oliverharket5049
      @oliverharket5049 5 років тому +2

      Cake or death?

    • @Hollowhalf17
      @Hollowhalf17 5 років тому +6

      No flag no country, can’t have one. Those are the rules I’ve just made up.

    • @stevesmith9447
      @stevesmith9447 4 роки тому +2

      And I'm backing it up with this gun...

    • @Hollowhalf17
      @Hollowhalf17 4 роки тому +2

      Steve Smith lent to me by the National Rifle Association

  • @viajedali7663
    @viajedali7663 4 роки тому +18

    "We're still looking at it" 😂

  • @notoriouslybratty
    @notoriouslybratty Рік тому +9

    One of his best bits - every so often I have to click on this video and rewatch it.

  • @elisa.r.g
    @elisa.r.g 4 роки тому +23

    Now wait a minute, this is a very good point

  • @poisenbery
    @poisenbery 4 роки тому +16

    I try not to laugh during these because it's satisfying to have laughter forced out of you.
    This had me feeling good. Funny stuff!

  • @yugiohyoutuification
    @yugiohyoutuification 5 років тому +26

    There is a floating head and hands infront of mustard background

  • @JD-it9rc
    @JD-it9rc 2 роки тому +5

    Interesting this being recommended...