Freaking Out About Still Being Single?? | Matthew Hussey

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 403

  • @pamelabrown2028
    @pamelabrown2028 2 роки тому +651

    Im 48 and still single ...i was widowed at a young age and then made poor choices and settled a few times...believe me...its better being single and at peace than in the wrong relationship...i hope all u singles find someone absolutely fab ❤️

    • @lapetitecelia407
      @lapetitecelia407 2 роки тому

      🙏🏻❤️

    • @FoxyMoonlight93
      @FoxyMoonlight93 2 роки тому +8

      You too also well🙏🏽

    • @user-pd2yt6gq7i
      @user-pd2yt6gq7i 2 роки тому +1

      ❤️🙌

    • @Prudence1974
      @Prudence1974 2 роки тому +12

      I lost my husband 9.30.21. I tried dating and made bad choices too. I'm trying to just be happy with myself right now as I wait for him to find me.

    • @pamelabrown2028
      @pamelabrown2028 2 роки тому +7

      @@Prudence1974 ..Im so sorry for your loss, its not easy , but I can promise theres hope and much, much better days ahead for you. My faith in God was what got me through..I'll be praying for you sweet lady 🙏👑❤️

  • @ryushizu17
    @ryushizu17 2 роки тому +288

    1:12 1) Avoid the seduction of false progress
    3:01 2) Lose the shame and own your intentions
    4:45 3) Break the spell of comparison
    8:19 4) Make friends with uncertainty
    11:10 5) Try as many times as you want to find the right person
    12:03 6) Learn how to be happy on your own
    13:25 7) Learn to fall in love with your life the way it's happening

    • @bundlewade
      @bundlewade 2 роки тому +1

      Someone from Matthew's team: please pin this comment. :D

  • @danaprahl9748
    @danaprahl9748 2 роки тому +135

    Matthew, I'm here to tell your listeners that it's ok to be single. You can still have an amazing life I travel, have a home, friends etc. Having someone in your life to make a couple just to be a couple isn't the way to live. Just live. Stop worrying I'm getting too old, I can't find him, I'm not good enough, where is he, I won't be complete with out him. Stop!!! YOU are good enough just the way you are. So live, enjoy your life, and when you are happy and still open for ... You'll find it. and Matthew you tool are great ...they do work.

    • @kaursingh8095
      @kaursingh8095 2 роки тому +6

      Agree with you we are perfect the way we are life goes on

    • @biscottigelato8574
      @biscottigelato8574 2 роки тому

      This is insane mindset. Luckily evolution guarantees people that acts like this will go extinct.
      We should promote being realistic and promote compromise. These type of toxic advice keeps everyone single and literally will end the human race.

    • @danaprahl9748
      @danaprahl9748 2 роки тому +4

      ​@@biscottigelato8574 Please. What I'm saying is don't get with someone or stay with someone just to say you are in a relationship you're a couple. There are lots of toxic relationships that put both and children at risk. Being single is better than that. I'm not saying stop looking i'm saying don't settle and compromise your beliefs, and who you are just to say I'm not alone. Cause you can be with someone and still be alone.

    • @elivieira8838
      @elivieira8838 2 роки тому +4

      Thanks. I am feeling so down by being alone for so long. Time is going and seems that I spent more time being sad by not having anyone.
      I am trying just do what makes me happy, like you said, traveling and do other things to keep me busy and enjoy life.

    • @danaprahl9748
      @danaprahl9748 2 роки тому +3

      @@elivieira8838 Eli, I'm so proud of you. Yes, get out there and start living your life in the best way possible. Celebrate you. If you can keep me posted on your new adventures. You must be brave. Happy adventures... ENJOY YOURSELF!!!

  • @MusicandVG
    @MusicandVG 2 роки тому +196

    This was beautiful Matthew, thank you. You got me to get up, get dressed and go to a riverside with a good book in hand - while I was ready to mope around in bed, feeling sorry for myself today

  • @justinbrockwell8396
    @justinbrockwell8396 2 роки тому +63

    Can totally attest! I am in my early 40's and single, because of several unfortunate past relationship choices. I am absolutely happy being single and the freedom it gives me in life. I travel, hike, bike, fish etc as I wish, often with others, often alone. My point is, until someone comes into my life that appreciates all I have to offer, rather than using me, I will choose to be happily single. I hope everyone finds the true love that they deserve💞

    • @lamazeitoun7915
      @lamazeitoun7915 2 роки тому

      Same here

    • @denisem7009
      @denisem7009 2 роки тому +5

      I feel the same way. In my 40’s as well. They MUST be faithful and a positive part of my life or I’ll just stay single. I hope you fine true love too. Thanks! 😉

    • @justinbrockwell8396
      @justinbrockwell8396 2 роки тому

      @@denisem7009 great to hear you have that mindset too. I see too many people in bad relationships because they were panicked to settle.

    • @chanthana7694
      @chanthana7694 2 роки тому +3

      I can relate to this. There should be a group or club for us like minded people. 🙂

    • @justinbrockwell8396
      @justinbrockwell8396 2 роки тому +1

      @@chanthana7694 there is... the singles club! Just kidding😉😂

  • @Healthevoid
    @Healthevoid 2 роки тому +125

    I’m at a point where I’m comfortable being single. I’m over feeling like I have to settle or even feeling like I’m behind . I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m nervous I will never find my person but I know what is meant will be . I’m doing losing myself in relationships that were never for me . Loving me in the present until I find my future ♥️

    • @danseuse001
      @danseuse001 2 роки тому

      I resonate with the same feeling

    • @How.Dare.You.
      @How.Dare.You. 2 роки тому

      But to me accepting = giving up which I dont want to do at the age of 37... 😔

    • @NurseSai
      @NurseSai 2 роки тому

      Agreed! 😊🙏

    • @shalimakhan1205
      @shalimakhan1205 2 роки тому +2

      How about becoming single at 43😭

    • @biscottigelato8574
      @biscottigelato8574 2 роки тому +1

      Feeling we are entitled to a certain partner or we are ‘settling’ is toxic. In no other areas in our lives we stop being realistic. We can’t afford a penthouse then we ‘settle’ for a normal house. We can’t eat Michelin 3 stars everyday we cook our own simple meal. We take what we can get and we be content, and be glad we have something rather than nothing…
      But then somehow this stops at finding someone to grow old with. It needs to be perfect or we rather die sad and alone just because we are afraid to finally admit that we are not perfect because we didn’t get perfect.
      We should promote being realistic and promote compromise and promote achieving happiness by being content. Viewing settling as ‘giving up’ is toxic advice keeps everyone single, unhappy, and will literally end the human race.

  • @denisem7009
    @denisem7009 2 роки тому +14

    First is to be happy within yourself. Single or not! Don’t wait for someone to come along to make you happy. I’m in my 40’s, single, drama free and peaceful. I don’t mind waiting for the right one to share my happiness with and vice versa. It is far better than becoming desperate then ending up with your worst nightmare. Ladies, if you want a good man then make sure you’re a good woman. While you’re waiting on your prince to arrive, enjoy things that you love everyday.

  • @alyailithyia
    @alyailithyia 2 роки тому +13

    I love being single. When its my time, it'll happen. For now I'll keep being open to going on dates, but focusing on me and thriving on my own.

  • @jeffroberts4220
    @jeffroberts4220 Рік тому +2

    Fall in love with your own journey where ever you are in life, single or not. Love it.

  • @bigcatenergy3707
    @bigcatenergy3707 6 місяців тому +3

    “Fall in love with the way your life is unfolding”

  • @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876
    @liudmilaaleagaaguilera8876 2 роки тому +15

    What really worries me is choosing the wrong man. I rather be single until I meet the right person and together build a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Thank you for this, you are so right💖💖💖

  • @biancawijaya1772
    @biancawijaya1772 2 роки тому +8

    Single and wholesome. Not rushing into anything. Not interested in someone who brings nothing but problems.

  • @MM-zi8fj
    @MM-zi8fj 2 роки тому +17

    Thank you Matthew...
    I was really touched with your words and ready to try those... I'm 37, watching your video right now on a hospital bed after a break up of a 5 year relationship ..
    I really need to build that muscle so that i can be okay all by myself... There's nothing to be ashamed with being single ❤️

    • @mette1983
      @mette1983 2 роки тому +1

      Feel better❤️

    • @fraukatze1147
      @fraukatze1147 11 місяців тому

      I know that some time has passed but I want you to know that I relate to you and I hope things improved. Loads of love!

  • @safrinasafrina8378
    @safrinasafrina8378 2 роки тому +3

    I am almost 39, and I understand being single. It's okay being single. God bless.

  • @Babesinthewood97
    @Babesinthewood97 2 роки тому +14

    You must acknowledge that other people shame people who are single. It’s not just coming from within. People on the outside ridicule single people.

    • @pn7134
      @pn7134 6 місяців тому

      Honestly, I think they are scared. Seeing that you can become single again at pretty much everytime is a scary thought. And if someone near you is going through a break up you are reminded of that. Most people cannot handle that

  • @steffis.7730
    @steffis.7730 2 роки тому +4

    I'm 35 and "still single"... I'm suffering from depression and just got diagnosed with a chronic disease. Because of my depression I'm not able to have a job right now. Yes, my life said "go back to to GO" personally, financially and health wise... I'm really feeling it.
    But you gave me a glimpse of hope with this video, Matthew. Your words helped me so much! I saved it and I'm gonna go back to it time and time again for a ray of sun on my darker days. Thank you! ❤️

    • @exnihilonihilfit6316
      @exnihilonihilfit6316 2 роки тому

      No, because you don't have a job (and healthy philosophy), you're depressed.

  • @bridgettedy3957
    @bridgettedy3957 2 роки тому +21

    I've been single for 2.5years and I loooove the peace it gives me. I will enjoy my singleness until I found the right one. Cheers 🥂

    • @jameshumphries5059
      @jameshumphries5059 2 роки тому +4

      That’s cool just don’t be promiscuous in that time or you’ll never find that guy you want.

    • @briannagiles
      @briannagiles 2 роки тому +1

      @@jameshumphries5059 she can be however she chooses.

    • @jameshumphries5059
      @jameshumphries5059 2 роки тому

      @@briannagiles - How did I know that comment was coming… yes she can but if she wants to sleep with 20 guys while she’s single then don’t expect that “perfect guy” to wife her up because I’m telling you if he finds out he won’t.

    • @briannagiles
      @briannagiles 2 роки тому +1

      @@jameshumphries5059 only insecure guys care about body count. You're really outing yourself, bro

    • @jameshumphries5059
      @jameshumphries5059 2 роки тому +1

      @@briannagiles haha no that’s just an excuse to be a hoè. You think a man who has options with women the guy who’s in shape, tall, dresses well, successful, intelligent etc is going to wife up a women, pay for the bills, die for her if someone breaks into the house when she’s given it away to 50 other dudes? As a man that’s not insecure that’s just stupid.
      What’s funny about modern women is if you say I don’t date short guys or guys who make less money than me that’s considered a preference but If a man says he doesn’t want to date a hoè I’m “insecure” misogynistic and the rest of it. 😂 I guess it’s just an excuse for a woman’s bad choices.
      The real reason men don’t like hoès is because the biggest fear for a man is giving all of your resources to a women, having a baby with her to later find out that baby isn’t yours!!! If a women has a a lot of sèx with random men studies shows its impossible for her to peer bond with just one man increasing the likelihood that the baby isn’t yours.

  • @irenekim6594
    @irenekim6594 2 роки тому +16

    When I was a teenager, I didn’t expect finding the right person and getting in a relationship are so hard😂 Now I’m 32 and I’m not very sure whether I can find mr.right or not😔 I’ve been disappointed all the time…

  • @davidthomspson9771
    @davidthomspson9771 2 роки тому +5

    Officially not freaking out at 52....been single most my life been single dad for 17 years.Choose wisely.Trust in God.Keep the motives in your heart pure and it will happen someday.Dont procrastinate your joy-be content where you are.

  • @bigcatenergy3707
    @bigcatenergy3707 6 місяців тому +1

    I’m the first woman in my family line to ever be free to live completely on her terms. It helps me to remember all that my ancestors have gone through and that embracing my life fully, single or not, honors them.

  • @marywithane9166
    @marywithane9166 2 роки тому +17

    I think I'd feel better about being single at 47 if I had had even ONE relationship in my adult life as an experience. Despite all the travel, great job and friends I feel like I've missed out. failure to launch. This is good advice ,I'm trying to trust God and also take this advice. 🤞🙏

    • @gdaymates431
      @gdaymates431 Рік тому +1

      You can't rely on God. You have to put yourself out there!

  • @azavy
    @azavy 7 місяців тому +2

    I love being single!!!! ❤❤❤ I've been in so many relationships and I'm happiest when I'm single!!! 🙌

  • @caredfor6872
    @caredfor6872 2 роки тому +2

    Love yourself. Don’t depend on someone else for your happiness.

  • @oddlynx8919
    @oddlynx8919 2 роки тому +25

    As a terminally single woman in her 40's who has never been in a relationship, it's nice to hear this but after a lifetime of not being able to attract anyone it is hard to believe that anything will ever change. C'est la vie

    • @leahnewitt8702
      @leahnewitt8702 2 роки тому +2

      What makes you think you can't attract anyone? Xxx

    • @coolbreeze5683
      @coolbreeze5683 2 роки тому +5

      Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it will never happen

    • @doubleoseven273
      @doubleoseven273 Рік тому +1

      Get out of your comfort zone and start saying yes to everything

    • @doubleoseven273
      @doubleoseven273 Рік тому +1

      If you’re stuck in a rut move out of the area keep trying something new

  • @karenfischer
    @karenfischer 2 роки тому +20

    I’ve been married eight times and I am still keeping my heart open. Matthew‘s right you can have as many relationships your life as you want. The reason I was married so many times was because I kept settling for what I thought I wanted. I’ve been single now for five years and enjoying life and if I meet somebody that’s great and if I don’t that’s just as good 😌

    • @vp5134
      @vp5134 2 роки тому +4

      Eight times??? Seriously? Lol

    • @pamelabrown2028
      @pamelabrown2028 2 роки тому

      Thank u for ur honesty, im sure u cud offer alot of advice to us all . I love that u say u can take it or leave it...u go girl !!!

  • @jojose417
    @jojose417 2 роки тому +8

    Honestly the only relationships I really had in my life happened when I wasn’t even looking I was just living my life and happened to meet that person. I’m 50 and divorced now this is such great advice!!!

  • @carlosverde-datingtips7001
    @carlosverde-datingtips7001 2 роки тому +10

    Great tips! And speaking of “Being Single…”
    If you have just broken up with someone, it’s ok to take your time - before you jump into another relationship.
    You’re doing yourself a disservice by getting involved with someone new before you’re really ready to commit to another person.
    It’s ok to be single, you have to learn to accept the fact that there’s nothing wrong with being single - once you have adopted that mindset, things will really start to turn around for you! Cheers!
    Anyway, that’s my two cents.
    -Carlos Verde - Dating Tips

    • @AritheCreator_
      @AritheCreator_ 2 роки тому

      Definitely nothing wrong with being single. There are other “pillars” of life, like health, finance, career, friends and family, personal development that u could focus on. The key is to feel whole and complete on your own and not need someone else to come and “complete, validate, or fulfill” you. True happiness comes from within
      By the way Carlos you have a solid channel! Keep up the excellent work man 🔥💖👌🏽

  • @JunKazama-t1p
    @JunKazama-t1p Рік тому +2

    I'm happy being single forever

  • @foz2071
    @foz2071 2 роки тому +10

    Thank you. I am a lot older than 29 and have been feeling like finding someone around my own age who is right for me is unlikely. But your video made me forget about that and now I feel really excited about all of the great things that I can learn from being single. There are other areas of my life that are going brilliantly and I am excited to focus on these more.

  • @hsgjkhagljkh
    @hsgjkhagljkh 2 роки тому +17

    Ohhh....I remember feeling that way at 29. I had broken up with a toxic guy I wanted to marry. 🤪 Afterwards I VOWED I would work on myself first. 10+ years later I've dated off and on, but I'm happy I'm still single without kids. I had so much childhood junk to heal from (recovering from codependency, enabling, and complex PTSD). With each guy I get a little healthier. I watched my friends rush bad marriages and get divorced (or stay and lose themselves). I vowed I'd heal first to be a good parent. Right now I am freer to pursue personal health. And every year I think, "I'm so GLAD I got to learn that lesson before I meet a longterm partner." It’s been a long journey to become content on my own (and I have moments where I struggle). Now I'm starting to enjoy my own company and hold my desire for a partner and family very loosely. I want kids, but maybe I'll just be a rockin' stepmom. All I know is the effort and time I've put into myself benefits my future loved ones. And I'm SUCH a higher-value person a good man would be lucky to have (compared to the low self-esteem, passive woman who was attracting narcissistic jerks at 29).

    • @dianaschoen4485
      @dianaschoen4485 2 роки тому

      You could also freeze your own eggs as an option.❤️

  • @bibilym4514
    @bibilym4514 2 роки тому +1

    This is why I enjoy this channel. You may or may not be tired of talking about being single, but this video has been so encouraging, you have no idea. I need these reminders and perspectives. So thank you to Matt and his team

  • @huihui7277
    @huihui7277 2 роки тому +3

    As a guy, I feel this from the other side, stay strong to everyone...dont get trapped into something too soon

  • @kassieahner5315
    @kassieahner5315 2 роки тому +14

    Matthew, I’m 39. I don’t fear being alone for the rest of my life. I don’t think that will happen, BUT I wanted kids. I wanted 3. Now I’ve kind of had to accept over time, most likely I won’t have any. My unhappiness with being single mostly centers around that, because unfortunately there is a somewhat nonnegotiable timeframe attached to that, despite what I try to tell myself about other peoples timelines for my life. Also when it comes to this, for a lot of women and maybe men , there’s a biological urge that makes us feel this way, apart from typical anxiety from societal expectations or whatever. No matter how confident I am or happy in my own life, a big part of this biological thing feels out of my control.

    • @finalfrontier001
      @finalfrontier001 2 роки тому

      You hit the wall and you failed....... You are strong mindedperson cuz femlaes like you take drugs like heroin to keep themselves going and end up overdosing and killing themslves cuz they canh't sleep at night. The biological urge is so suffacating that makes you wnat to kill yourself to escape the trauma not having ba family and husband. Feminism has failed you being strong and independant woman was the worse thing you have ever done and now you regret it.

    • @tintank8620
      @tintank8620 Рік тому +1

      I feel in the same situation. What are the choices now?

    • @coolied2865
      @coolied2865 Рік тому +4

      My GF had a child on her own through a sperm bank. Her daughter is AMAZING and they have a great relationship. you do not needs a man to have children. She is really happy now and still single!

  • @emmabushnell7320
    @emmabushnell7320 2 роки тому +1

    Back To Go - that reference really hit home for me. So many times I feel like I've been 'sent back to go'. But like Matthew says, it humbles you. It helps you to learn and grow.

  • @VAN_SALMIAK
    @VAN_SALMIAK 2 роки тому +5

    Its actually really frustrating when you feel like you are good looking with years on the gym, are intellectual,have great social skills,humour and just feels like a dream partner but ending up living single year in, year out.
    At 33,im still waiting for the first time to hear "I love you" from a woman.
    Got my heart broken many times and its feels even worse these days then when younger because it almost feels like a receipt of not being good enough for nobody.
    Working out is a good medicine for lonelyness but when sitting alone on christmas eve..no benchpress in the world can replace that feeling.
    Peace and love to you all out there 🙏❤️

  • @fabs6925
    @fabs6925 2 роки тому +8

    Im 36, I’ve been single almost all my life BUT I’ve always been dating someone. Besides this, I’ve taken tons of couple therapy (I know lol), read neuroscience books, listening psychology podcast, and traveling a lot. Ive discovered all of these have made me strong . Now I know what I truly want in a partner: romantically, sexually and mentally. There’s not ONE person for you, many people can be for you BUT we need to understand that we need to let life flow . Ive found myself forcing things, screwing up thinking that by certain dates “I must be somewhere”. People have different past, people come from different paths. Things take time (most times they do). Also super important is, stop comparing ourselves. Yeah our friends may be with someone but until when? At what cost? What guarantee they’ll always be together? WhT guarantee they are even happy? People won’t post on fb their sadness, their struggles, they’ll just post their “happy relationships”. I love this video Matthew. So many truths 🙌🏻

    • @fabs6925
      @fabs6925 2 роки тому

      @Samir Dončić well when you know what you truly want, you won’t waste time . No one is perfect, but you have to know your “no negotiable ones” . I have maybe 2-3 of those and if someone has them, I walk again. Maybe they are messy, maybe they lack initiative , maybe they don’t like to dance (all important to me in a partner) BUT none of those are on my “no negotiable list” so I’ll accept them regardless.

    • @fabs6925
      @fabs6925 2 роки тому

      Walk away *

  • @evanhiggins7298
    @evanhiggins7298 2 роки тому +2

    I'm not uncomfortable being single. However, he has some good points!

  • @Squintillions
    @Squintillions 2 роки тому +1

    Best part is at the end of the video - make the most out of your own journey!

  • @aliciasmith5297
    @aliciasmith5297 2 роки тому +5

    For someone who constantly struggles reconciling desperately wanting to be in a relationship (I'm 35, and I've never had a bf) with my relentless ability self-sabotage, this video is a word--thank you Mr. Hussey! If I wasn't taking the bar in a few weeks, I would totally be at that free training!! But I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled for the next complementary offering! :-)

    • @naewest5603
      @naewest5603 2 роки тому +1

      Your a beautiful woman the right one will come on it’s own if not live your life the fullest 😊you can definitely enjoy life without a relationship

    • @JJ.___.
      @JJ.___. 2 роки тому

      Focus on doing your best for your bar exam. When it’s done, u will feel relieved and confident and shine and relax. Best wishes 🙂🤓

  • @Atalanta01
    @Atalanta01 2 роки тому +2

    Once again, I'm blown away by your wisdom, Matthew. I've been following you for years, and yet I'm still in awe and moved to tears by your encouraging and supportive words. I truly needed to hear this today, since I'm going through those exact emotions. This helped me a lot. Thank you again for providing such a wonderful service 😊💗

  • @rolansanchez7046
    @rolansanchez7046 Рік тому

    Thanks Matthew, being single is not a disease that needs to be cured and I think people should be cautious and sensitive with other people's feeling stop single shaming married life is not heaven.

  • @s.beccari4678
    @s.beccari4678 2 роки тому +16

    I'm 39 and divorced. Things could be worse girl...

    • @Scheherazad100
      @Scheherazad100 Рік тому +1

      Yep. It's Important to be grateful every day for what you do have, eyes, arms,legs,able to speak, woke up this morning. Start thinking and you can write pages and pages of thing to be grateful for. Even the failed relationships. At least you had one and can learn a lot from it
      Keep moving forward. Never look back. Not one nanosecond of life is guaranteed. Don't forget to smell the flowers every day. Get up, dress your best and go.out and greet the world.❤

  • @ioanaanaoi8232
    @ioanaanaoi8232 2 роки тому +2

    "Lose the shame. Own your intentions!"

  • @largolagrande
    @largolagrande 2 роки тому +13

    I feel like I adapted many of these mindsets for a while now. Even though it's sometimes hard to keep them.
    I don't want to marry and don't want kids. I don't trust relationships that much to have this kind of immense commitment.
    But I'm seeking a healthy relationship. It's hard to avoid people that are so uneasy around new people and really really hammer their goals down. I'm just... Looking for loving person that still is able to bond without endless issues. Even though I realize more and more online dating is not place to get those qualities.

    • @lisag2680
      @lisag2680 2 роки тому +2

      I’m older. Was in a relationship with issues years ago. We were back and forth. At my age I don’t see reason to marry. I did kind of cut myself off. Pandemic didn’t help. I am ok on my own.

    • @lisag2680
      @lisag2680 2 роки тому +2

      Find guys that are available have so many issues. I don’t meet people anymore. I work mostly from home. Dating sites were awful. I’m also picky. Funny as I got older I feel men my age look old even though I’m sure I do too.

  • @caredfor6872
    @caredfor6872 2 роки тому +1

    Being single has its benefits. You have more time for yourself. Don’t have to worry about being mistreated. It’s actually heaven in reality.

  • @fazendoaminhafesta4332
    @fazendoaminhafesta4332 2 роки тому +2

    The big problem with being happy with the life we ​​have is enjoying life so much like this, in peace, that we are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices to maintain a new relationship. After a 18 year marriage, it's so nice to be alone. I don't want to grow old alone, but I'm afraid I don't want to find someone anymore

    • @Pacifica74
      @Pacifica74 2 роки тому

      I agree; you can get too comfortable this way. I saw no problem with my singleness for many years until the pandemic upset my way of life. I work from home away from people & socializing. I don't get dressed up like I used to or go anywhere. Now at 48, I'm forced to look at the gaping hole where a personal life should've been.

  • @lisag2680
    @lisag2680 2 роки тому +3

    I know someone - sure we all do - she wanted a child. Was in her 30s. Met someone and was married in less than a year. I thought he was a jerk. Fast forward, they have a child. But they are divorced. Now he gives her so much grief about coparenting. He’s a terrible person. He even sued her family for money.
    I’d rather be single forever than marry someone that isn’t the right person for me.

  • @rockyruiz5205
    @rockyruiz5205 2 роки тому +2

    Bro, this is some of your best advice yet.

  • @Lil_HandGrenade
    @Lil_HandGrenade 2 роки тому +3

    I'm 46 soon to be 47. I made poor choices when I was younger, I lost the last one to sudden death. Yes I feel as though time is running out, most older men or men my age group are only interested in the younger women out there. They just want a physical connection. Most of these men are emotionally immature. It is so hard to find someone you are attracted to, who wants a more deep meaningful connection . It feels almost hopeless. The older you get, the less attractive you feel.

  • @nurulnajwasafie2508
    @nurulnajwasafie2508 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks a lot matt! This serves as a reminder to me. To get back on the right mindset.not self-sabotaging.

  • @rashabuda
    @rashabuda 2 роки тому +2

    Symptoms of comparison…loved this piece of wisdom

  • @mirandah6348
    @mirandah6348 2 роки тому +1

    It feels like the most radical thing I can do is wholeheartedly believe that I’ll find love regardless of my current circumstances.

  • @helencheshire7553
    @helencheshire7553 2 роки тому +1

    Mr Hussey, I’ve been watching all of your videos for about a year now and I really wanted to say thank you - although I am yet to meet someone who is right for me (and that I am right for), your videos have helped me regain enough confidence and self belief to be ready for a healthy relationship when it arrives.

  • @Exodus26.13Pi
    @Exodus26.13Pi 2 роки тому +1

    32 & 26 when married both virgins. As a man it almost destroyed me waiting for her. Worth the wait 19 years later.

  • @coastiebabe3438
    @coastiebabe3438 Рік тому

    This is so good. Reframing your mind to focus on personal growth versus societal pressures. Bring the best version of you to the table

  • @Mike-he1rf
    @Mike-he1rf 2 роки тому +4

    It's a hard life doing what I want without anyone to answer to 😆 jokes aside, this is great advice. Being single is definitely better than being in the wrong relationship.

  • @sadiatasnuva4227
    @sadiatasnuva4227 2 роки тому

    I did that for last 8 months. I knew that he wasn't the one but still tried to ignore that. Buttttttttttt then I realized it was my self love lacking where I thought I don't deserve good man. So let him go & started focusing on myself. feelings empowered.

  • @rnh93
    @rnh93 2 роки тому

    Thank you for this. Not only do I find the video’s content relevant (obviously) for the «still single»-theme, but also as a wildly important reminder to keep enjoying ones own life. Going to watch this at least once a day!

  • @rightmindset-
    @rightmindset- 2 роки тому +2

    There is so much truth in this video. Such an amazing reflection❤

  • @slinca
    @slinca Рік тому

    I needed to hear the comments about striving forward for an upward trajectory of life today. Ty Matthew. I’m so fortunate you exist and I have the ability to hear your wisdom. ❤

  • @forensicbadassprofiling
    @forensicbadassprofiling Рік тому

    I'm 58 strong and single.
    Married someone that that age n invested everything, only to be left in my 50s to start over.
    It's better to develop urself 1st, and be single rather than marrying the wrong man who uses you as their stepping stone during their Midlife crisis.

  • @jacquelinemcgarry9820
    @jacquelinemcgarry9820 Рік тому

    Thankful to have found this. Very thankful. This is exactly where I am at. 37 is hard.

  • @shallysaini3850
    @shallysaini3850 2 роки тому +4

    I needed to hear this today! Thank you, Matthew :) Sending so much love and light to everyone ✨

  • @renschannel5218
    @renschannel5218 Рік тому +1

    This is very interesting as I feel shamed by my family sometimes for expressing my struggle with singleness. My parents will talk about how I should be happy and how I am a complete person. I know I am whole on my own, but that desire to be with someone will not be lessened. I have the inklings of most of these mindsets, but definitely need to grow them.

  • @jessicaqu
    @jessicaqu 2 роки тому +2

    I love the musical chair analogy.

  • @ikoilk
    @ikoilk Місяць тому

    This is the best of your UA-cam videos. You are so right about uncertainty. Thank you so much for this. I do repeatedly listen to this. 👍

  • @RAG571
    @RAG571 2 роки тому +1

    This is super empathetic and much appreciated, MH.

  • @glj1004
    @glj1004 2 роки тому +1

    I'm 41, single, and have never been married...

  • @marthahernandez695
    @marthahernandez695 2 роки тому +3

    When I was about to turn 30 years old, I had this immense pressure of “I need to be married, have my dream career and be starting a family on top of additional goals”. Well that crumbled quickly because a couple months before my
    30th birthday, my 4 year relationship ended. At that point in time, I felt like a giant failure. Looking back now, it was a blessing in disguise. I feel better equipped now to co create an amazing partnership and create a safe and loving environment for my future children. Still haven’t found my significant other BUT so far, the experiences have been amazing! I am learning to love every phase of my life, at the moment which can be difficult at times due to comparison. However, as with any new skill, it’s all about taking it one step or one moment at a time 💕

  • @olejdi2092
    @olejdi2092 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you Matthew, you help SO MUCH.

  • @atlantidaunderground
    @atlantidaunderground Рік тому +2

    I'm still single at almost 31... and I'm probably gonna stay single because I give up.

  • @glitchseries7995
    @glitchseries7995 2 роки тому

    I am feeling very much thankful after seeing your video.I myself also a youtuber and want to create a good future in UA-cam but I was really suffering from the breakup which I had a year ago. I was suffering because the breakup was just for misunderstanding between me and my partner. There was no cheating from anyone's end. I am growing but the progress was slow but now I am happy because the lesson I learnt from watching your videos is that I am doing the right thing. Thank you for the advice. I wish you all the best too.

  • @catherinejulio7678
    @catherinejulio7678 Рік тому

    hi everyone! I'm 33. still single and this video is exactly what I've been feeling lately. life is hard.

  • @sarahsantos4594
    @sarahsantos4594 2 роки тому

    Last mindset is Amor Fati! My favorite Stoic wisdom! Yay

  • @amiramahgoub
    @amiramahgoub Рік тому +1

    I think I'm not feeling confident right now. And don't wanna make more friendship with guys. It's always the wrong one or a mysterious guy!

  • @Annabel92L
    @Annabel92L 2 роки тому +5

    I have the opposite problem. I’ve been single for so long and I’m so independent and have so many family care responsibilities that I’m terrified of being in a relationship! Any advice would be appreciated!

  • @mamoon7619
    @mamoon7619 2 роки тому +1

    Hi Matthew! I haven't watched your video in 3 years since I've been in a (happy and committed) relationship. Before that, I was watching your videos to help me in the dating world. So I just wanna drop by and thank you for all the great information you put out there for us ladies 🙌 I honestly could say that dating is HAAARRDDD but your videos helped me a lot 🤗

  • @holiday197
    @holiday197 2 роки тому

    I think the most important thing is that you are content with where you are in your life. Maybe you may not have the ideal partner (and perhaps it’s a possibility that it may never come) but there are other aspects of your life that you can weave and bring to action to give you the most happiness in line with what you want (I.e. family and friend relationships, career, better financial security, doing the kinds of hobbies and having the kinds of experiences that you want etc).
    Having someone to share your life with should be a bonus but the main thing is that you make the most out of your own life.

    • @dianaschoen4485
      @dianaschoen4485 2 роки тому

      Well said! I agree, but whats happenning with the world economy, etc. Its a scary time to be starting over at 60 alone. Id feel better if all this wadnt going on...🙏😔

  • @lisaluna9826
    @lisaluna9826 2 роки тому

    I'm 47!! Yes it is sometimes uncomfortable but we have to start loving ourselves first! And if you've not done that before...practice practice practice When we start to love ourselves then the potential person that may come along will see that and fall in love with that. I'm still in practice and believe me it's so hard because I feel like I'm being selfish and have to push those feelings aside for my highest good. I know I have a long road ahead of me but everyday gets better and better because I'm surrounding myself with positive things and positive people :)

    • @exnihilonihilfit6316
      @exnihilonihilfit6316 2 роки тому

      Using "selfish" like that ... not good.
      Go and get yourself the novels "Atlas Shrugged" and "The Fountainhead". Then read everything else by Ayn Rand and Leonard Peikoff.

  • @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light
    @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 роки тому

    Hi.....just saw this....even though I'm married and separated ....... as I saw the title I was like 'nup, like being independent atm, focusing on my career, study, kids, pets and my home' ..... it would be hard for people who have been alone for soooo long though.....I've known people who have said 'where are all the people?' As in 'potential partners', they have felt there just isn't anyone.........but few yrs pass they are married, buying houses, popping out babies!!! Yes there is certainly change like Matt says! Look forward to what's coming xx
    Feral Fairy🧚‍♀️

  • @raginisharma9302
    @raginisharma9302 2 роки тому +2

    I so wanted to hear this - thanks Matthew for making this video and sharing with us!

  • @rartinderkaur3499
    @rartinderkaur3499 2 роки тому +1

    Hi Sir ...Thanks for sharing the wonderful advice that highlights that it's important to find the "why" behind the desire of relationship .It's important to find that core first so that everything is an expression of it and we can start to reach for the things that are most congruent with the highest self and ultimately create long lasting love . Compromising on why and to fill the void could end up in making terrible partner choices .It also clear the vision of lovership versus relationship and acceptance of self in totality and push back the behaviour that is not acceptable in terms to our values and standards we stand for and creating something beautiful together . Thanks Sir for Everything .Much Care and Regards 💝

  • @feebsfilms
    @feebsfilms 2 роки тому +2

    Pure gold. I needed this today ♥️

  • @melinahorns5892
    @melinahorns5892 2 роки тому +20

    I actually feel comfortable on my own, but I sometimes feel anxious about being single at 35 because I really want to have a child/children and it makes me scared that the time is going by quickly and that I might find myself in a place suddenly where it is not possible anymore. I keep reminding myself that life can change very fast and I might have a child in 1 or 2 years, but there is always that thought „what if i‘m 40, still single and then won‘t be able to have children“…

    • @danaprahl9748
      @danaprahl9748 2 роки тому +3

      If you want a baby you have a baby with out a man or husband if you are financially about. Don't limit yourself just because you haven't found your mate.

    • @lauralalu6165
      @lauralalu6165 2 роки тому +2

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts! What immediately came to my mind was 'there are many ways to have a child in life.' Of course I know there is a special joy for many to be pregnant and have their biological child, but as hard as it sounds, you don't even know if you can actually have biological children. And would it make you less if you didn't? Would you love a child less, if it is adopted? Maybe you do have a very different opinion on that, but I think it can take a lot of pressure if we don't limit ourselves to only one possible way of living a great life. There are so many children that need good loving parents, aunts and uncles, caregivers. One way or the other you will find a way to bring your love to the children in your life.

    • @How.Dare.You.
      @How.Dare.You. 2 роки тому

      You should 1st want a right guy. If you want just a child, you can go to sperm bank. The worst you can do is what most do, settle for guy who isnt right for you and make him have kids. And then find themselves struggling with infidelity, diovrce etc

    • @melinahorns5892
      @melinahorns5892 2 роки тому +3

      @@lauralalu6165 of course! There is always a way in the end to actually have a child and adoption is definitely an option. But the topic is about feeling anxious that i‘m still single. If children were out of the picture I would not care if I meet the man of my dreams with 40 or 50. But because I do want children, I feel like that it is putting more pressure on the situation. Of course the dream is to have a biological child with my partner, so that‘s where i‘m coming from.

    • @SaraEngqvist
      @SaraEngqvist 2 роки тому +5

      I can totally relate to what you are saying! Turning 32 in a month and just got dumped by the guy I had been seeing since last summer. I really loved him and could see it beeing long term. I thought he could me the father of my future kid(s). Had been single a long while before meeting him and love life when I'm single too, but now I feel a bit anxious that it will be the same amount of time before I meet someone new that I like as I really want to have kids at some point. That is what stresses me out. Even if I know I can get kids on my own, I would much rather have kids with someone I love.

  • @is.b.1185
    @is.b.1185 2 роки тому

    Υour videos have reached the highest level of quality. Good job Math. Love from Greece.

  • @rachelh.5636
    @rachelh.5636 Рік тому

    Thank you, Matthew for your wise and honest words and suggestions.

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You. 2 роки тому +3

    29 old woman still has 10 years of possibility of getting pregnant. Im 37 so have 2, comparison happens indeed

  • @antonia6648
    @antonia6648 2 роки тому

    that's a wonderful take on "torschlusspanik" as we say in germany. thank you matthew!

  • @Nobody-dp5xo
    @Nobody-dp5xo 2 роки тому +3

    Ive noticed that when i get anxious about being single, its more about what other people will think, rather then being actually anxious about being single, if that makes sense. I dont want a relationship / marriage just to say im in one you know?

  • @eladan867
    @eladan867 Рік тому +1

    I am over 40 and have been single for last 8 years! What can I do? Hit my head against the wall? No thank you! I will be there until I know is right 👌😋

  • @garruscuriosity9791
    @garruscuriosity9791 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for this video

  • @lynnolsen1498
    @lynnolsen1498 Рік тому

    Good Job!! Thanks for your kindness toward all humans!!❤

  • @deedeemonceaux
    @deedeemonceaux 6 місяців тому

    This is tremendously fantastic advice. Thank you!!

  • @missprajawalikapradhan
    @missprajawalikapradhan 2 роки тому +3

    Just when I needed to hear this. Thankyou Mathew you're the best ❤️

  • @romanavecerova9536
    @romanavecerova9536 2 роки тому

    Oh wow…. I can’t speak now… So powerful and beautiful… thank you Matt !!! 😊

  • @nickoneeach4720
    @nickoneeach4720 2 роки тому +1

    What about being afraid of getting so old you can’t take care of yourself anymore and you never established that relationship and ultimately a family, because you’re looking for perfection…and there’s no one to be there for you in your old age…except strangers in a nursing home?

  • @mschelly17
    @mschelly17 2 роки тому +3

    I appreciate the message of this video. It has taken some time but I am learning to fall in love with my life. I see beauty and magic in daily experiences. I am intentional and purposeful about being grateful every day. I feel good about being single. When I am coupled, I'll feel good about that as well.

    • @InDogsITrust
      @InDogsITrust 2 роки тому

      Exactly! We can choose to enjoy our life in this moment, understand that it will continue to change and evolve, but we can still enjoy our unique journey along the way.

  • @ciaramc_121
    @ciaramc_121 2 роки тому

    These points are so true. Needed to hear this today thanks Matthew and congratulations on your engagement 🥳

  • @Babesinthewood97
    @Babesinthewood97 2 роки тому +3

    I’m not still single, but I’m single. :)

  • @leannetaylor5661
    @leannetaylor5661 2 роки тому +1

    I think this is the best video you have done. Thank you 🙏🏻