What happened to you? #1 - Me
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
- First episode of the pod! Talking about what happened to me, going to trial, and more. Thanks for watching!
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Outro Song: Waikiki (Original Mix) - Deep Chills
• Waikiki (Original Mix)
© Copyright 2020 by What Happened to You Foundation. All Rights Reserved.
What happened to you?™
Here from TikTok, watched to the end. Thank you for sharing your story.
I watched all of this and I was in constant shock.
Had no idea that it happened and I severely apologize for the events. This story hurts me; It was painful to listen to, but you handled this story like the champion you've always been. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for talking about this issue publicly. I wish I could be as brave as you to share my story like this.
OMG I am sitting here crying. Yes I was molested, starting at age 3 thru age 13. And I have no problem talking about it. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it at all. Hell I don't care where I am, could be standing in the middle of the Dollar store, or McDonald's, don't mater. And yes I have and am getting help for it. I told my therapist everything, all the details. EXCEPT ONE THING. I have NEVER tod ANYONE this one detail. Well I watched you video and you totally discussed this one detail MANY TIMES. When I heard it I felt all the air leave the room.So having said all that I am going to share this one detail for the 1st time to all who reads it. Ok here we go. The detail is that when I got to a certain age certain parts of the molesting nightmare started to feel different, not just different, it felt "good". This screwed me up SERIOUSLY. How could I justify a horrible nightmare as something good? Well I never told ANYONE about the "good" feeling because I figured they would think I enjoyed it. That I wanted it or asked for it. Rape is NEVER a "good" thing or experience. So hearing you talk about how it started to feel "good" to you as well and how you talked about how naturally your body reacts to sexual touch and how you have no control over it. OMG you gave me the chance to FINALLY stop beating myself up over it. Thank you. You gave me a gift that no money could ever buy.
I love that you made this public and actually took the time to explain things. I hear "they groom you", "they pick those who are vulnerable" and even as a target of child abuse myself I still NEVER knew what that meant exactly. You're doing a really great thing here, spreading knowledge, potentially helping other people spot abuse quicker.
I came here from your tiktok. Wow, thank you for sharing your story. This has happened to members of my own family but we were very lucky we had adults who believed us! Thanks again for being brave and sharing.
Your TikTok brought me here. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! 🤗
I believe you. The people who say they don’t are in a paralyzed state. They will have to face intense feelings in order to accept your facts. Sending you so much love. Incredibly moved by you.
Thank you Michelle. I totally agree - it's a hard thing to come to terms with, especially for people that were close to the molester. Sending love right back to you. Thanks again ❤️
Here from TikTok. Thank you for speaking up about what happened. A common thing I noticed among my patients was the confusion of the victim getting an erection which caused them to feel guilt when it’s a natural response stimulation and not because they like it. Things like this need to be spoken about more openly so it can’t be hidden. Again, thank you for sharing. It helps others get the courage to do the same.
Totally agree Eric. The more honest we are about these experiences the better. Really appreciate what you said and the work that you're doing with your patients!
Here from TikTok. I wish I had the courage to share my story publicly. I was molested for a long time by a older step cousin. When I told my parents, they confronted him, he denied it, and they didn’t push it any further. I’m glad to hear you say that you struggle with timelines. I think I have tried to repress it so much that I don’t even know when or for how long it happened. I’ve tried to remember things that were happening in my life during that time but it’s a struggle. I’m 31 now and I think I was 10-13, but idk.
So glad you shared your story in this comment Robert! Totally - memory suppression is our minds defense against these things. Makes it so much harder to remember. Wishing you all the best with your healing and recovery :)
Came here from TikTok to get the full story. Thank you for being so brave to tell your story.
This had opened my eyes to molestation. you seem like you've healed and i'm so proud of you and thankful for sharing your story. i'm glad you don't have any resentment with yourself or your parents, it was neither of your guy's faults
I’m also a survivor of sexual abuse and I wanna thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you for bringing awareness to the grooming phase. You’re amazing!!
You can tell there were points in this where it got hard for him to say some stuff 🥺 parents please talk to your kids and make sure you know where they are and the people they are around.
I don’t know you but I feel proud of you. Thanks for sharing your story, I look forward to listening to more of your podcasts. You’re an inspiration.
I wish I had a platform to tell people about what my brother 30 years old did to me and my brothers friend 3 years older than me did. I’m proud of you for sharing. I’m sorry this happened to you but I’m thankful you’re bringing awareness to this because it happens too often.
UA-cam
Thank you for sharing. A psychologist told my mom things like this can be worked out. After my mom's husband touched me.
We never let our kids have sleep overs....I wanted my kids safe.
I always worried about my boys being hurt.
We have to talk....
I wasnt sure I could watch your video but I did...and Im in tears...
Pedophiles need to be locked up.
Glad you and your friend were able to remain friends.
I am sharing your videos....
Take care...help change the world.
Hey Maria, thank you for everything you said. I'm so sorry to hear it happened to you too. Just know you're not alone. We're all in it together. Exchanging comments like this helps a lot. The more we talk about these things, the better chance we have of preventing it from happening in the future. So thank you for sharing the videos, and for your support. It means the world to me :)
Wishing you all the best in your recovery and life ❤️
Came from TikTok and just want to say thank you for posting this. I’m so sorry you experienced this but you are using this platform for good by informing others! I have 3 sons and I hope to be more aware of potential child abusers, crazy that not even another PARENT of another little boy was trustworthy. Very eye opening!
Thank you for doing this - I'm thankful you're parents supported you! I'm grateful you were able to move fwd & are able to talk about this in a healthy way, that will help others going fwd. You're amazing!
Your ability to talk about what happened, molester analysis and what a child thinking in these situations were knowledgeable... I could feel everything you said and I'm speechless it was indeed terrifying and traumatic but I love the fact that you still have respect for life Jammy, the city you lived in and the same school... You're so strong and special I'm so sorry that happened to you❤️
I’m here from your TikTok. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Much love, dude.
If he molested you, chances are he molested him too. Maybe with time your friend will open about it! Ppl just heal differently. Thanks for being amazing and still staying friends with him!
I was thinking the same. Most likely done to the son.
proud of you
I'm so impressed how you handled this. In spite of what happened to you, you come across as a strong, happy person. Kudos to you!!! You are an inspiration.
There’s a lot of this I can relate too. And the bond between you and “Jaimie” is something I am familiar with. I went between laughing and then crying watching this. My dear friend and I share a trauma bond. We always say. “If we don’t laugh we will cry” so we laughed for years. And never talked about anything too serious. I am 28 and finally in therapy for it. I’ve been more and more comfortable talking about it. But it’s taken 16 years.
I'm not sure how you are now but you seem happy and I'm just so shocked about how open you are and the good vibes that you radiate. I think you're right and the best way to fight this is to normalize talking about it. Thanks for doing this!
I just saw your podcast with Mario Adrion and thus ended up here. I cried when I 1st saw Mario's molestation video a year ago and just cried again watching yours. I am SO sorry that this happened to you (not that that particularly helps) but just wanted you to know. I'm much older than you in my late 60s and am gay. A sort of similar thing happened when I was 16. He was an older and larger well built person though I was old enough to realize what I was going to do. Until, with no words said he tried something I had never done before. I was petrified but never said stop, thinking I may get hurt if I did. After it was over we talked and then realized had I said , stop, it would have been ok but I have never forgotten the paralyzing and petrified feeling I had experienced at that time. I can't imagine being in a situation like yours and being so young. I'm glad you got through this but saddened that it ever happened.
Came from TikTok I love the type of person you are. Lots of self reflection you seem to know yourself very well. You dealt with this very well too. Proud of you man hope you do great
Also here from Tik Tok and watched till the end. As horrific as it is what you went through, I’m glad you found the courage to speak out not just back then but now. How you explained everything is so important and helpful because it can help people identify when it’s happening and put a stop to it. Also love that you’ve been able to incorporate it into your comedy to way to spread the message further and remove the stigma from what society perceives as uncomfortable topics (and to help you cope through your own traumas). I’m a big fan of using humour through my own dark times. Thank you for speaking out and sharing your story x
thank you for sharing your story, it’s so helpful to hear from other survivors and see how our experiences were similar. i think validation is such a hard thing to come by when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma, especially as a child and watching this and having a sort of mental checklist of things i may have thought or felt or experienced was therapeutic. even after years of therapy i can soemtimes think i just
made it up or over exaggerated but hearing similar things from your story was super helpful in bringing me back to reality. survivors are better together i feel. also thanks for being my new fav comedian bc I FINALLY HAVE A COMEDIAN WHO GETS HOW TO MAKE SEXUAL ABUSE JOKES THAT ARE ACCURATE AND ACTUALLY FUNNY
Completely empathize with everything you said Caleigh!! Thank you so much for sharing :) Much love!
You’re remarkable! The way you recount your story is so incredibly impacting. It’s easy to step into your confusion, pain, and freedom when you retell each account. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your story and offering insight and information on how child abuse works and how to notice red flags. Really interesting and insightful to hear what you as a child were thinking and feeling, what your logic was. I am glad you are starting this conversation because the more people who hear your story and others like yours, the better equipped people will be to protect children from this type of abuse. Thank you for posting.
Thank you so much! Really glad you got value from the video. And I totally agree - talking about molestation is our best defense against it. Thanks again for watching, and for everything you said :)
This is a really great thing you are doing. I'm studying to be a psychologist and the best way to deal with trauma is to talk about it. Its the hardest thing to do but its really the only way to cope with it. Also coming from a person who has experience sexual assault
Thank you for sharing your story!
I hate that victims often feel embarrassed to talk about it, while the offenders should be the ones ashamed!
Indeed!
As a mom this is so helpful for me to learn from. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your life.
My little sister was molested by my best friends dad. He never went to jail. We never told my mom until we got older. There were so many signs, and I feel guilty for leaving her alone with him.
I’m here from tik tok. I’m always looking for a podcast and when I scrolled past your video I instantly went to UA-cam without even knowing what your channel was. I just thought it was ppl sharing stories from their lives. Then I realized what the content was and realized how much I needed this. I became a victim at the age of 8 and and now in my mid 20s. I have never had nor heard a conversation about this abuse to clearly and matter of fact in a way that actually led to coping. Last year I told my mom what happened and still couldn’t find my words as if I were still 8 years old. Thank you for making this and other videos on your channel. It means a lot and helps so much.
So* clearly
Thank you so much for watching and sharing your story! I really appreciate everything you said, and am thrilled that the content is helping. Wishing you all the best with your healing :)
@@SebastianScales you are helping so many people dude. You are doing the work that ends cycles of abuse and sheds light on what it’s really like to be a victim. I can’t thank you enough for the work you do. I’d love to donate if at all possible.
I have saved this to watch later. A few weeks ago I started working with a counselor to go back into my story to remember and deal with what happened to me when I was 8. Because I am in the thick of it, I want to wait and watch this when I am in a different place. Having said that I watched your 5 minute clip where you discussed why you hate watermelons and I could not stop laughing. I think that anything can be joked about. And when you joke about something it takes some of its power away. Thanks for being funny and honest.
Found you from tiktok. You are amazing! My take away is I am always amazed by the nerve of some of these men. To have the balls to show up at your games. He could of easily sat those out. Do they have no shame? If I did something I knew was wrong, I wouldn’t want to show my face. I’m sorry you went through all this, but you really seem to have a great outlook on it all. ♥️
Stumbled across your stand up on Tiktok at first. Thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how you can share your story in such an open eloquant video.
Thank you Carmen!
Saw you from Tik Tok, it’s inspiring just with the poise you talked about your situation..you have a lot of fortitude and backbone to talk about this publicly
Thank you! Really appreciate that :)
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I have only recently started talking about my molestation story and your confidence gives me confidence. If you would like I would be willing to share my story with you and your channel.
William Ogden Thank you man. So sorry it happened to you too. I couldn’t be more thrilled that you’re getting confidence from the videos. Would love to hear your story and share it with the channel, shoot me a message on Instagram @sebastianscales
@@SebastianScales ok my instagram is nashville_live_sound
You both are very brave ..
Thank you for doing this and sharing your story. This is something that needs to shed light on because it happens so much.
Made it all the way through! I started doing stand-up two years ago to find a way to talk about getting a cancer diagnosis (currently cancer free!). Then I figured I would then use it to find a way to talk about being molested by an Episcopal priest when I was 11yo. So great to find another on the same journey. I didn't tell anyone until I told my wife when I was 40, so find it amazing that you worked with it at such an early age. Have you seen, "Call Me Lucky"? Keep up the great work!
Mike that's amazing!! Congrats on being cancer free too! If you'd ever like to come on the podcast, let me know.
Haven't seen Call Me Lucky, but I'll check it out! Much love brother.
I am so sorry, i didn’t know the grooming stage was so insignificant and unnoticeable till you said it. It’s so important to know
The saddest part is the reason that the court dismissed this is because a lot of judges, police, etc are touching kids too. The positions themselves attract people who want to be above the law and it works
You’re absolutely brilliant and such an eloquent speaker. I could listen to you for hours. Your story is so inspiring and heart wrenching. I cannot believe he didn’t get convicted. Before you mentioned Michael Jackson I was going to suggest watching it in the comments, this reminds me so much of it. I watched that in March of 2019 when it originally aired on HBO and I will forever be deeply disturbed by it. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Also the ending made me cry. You’re so clearly such an incredible human being and so so strong.
@@hannahpinto9888 Thank you so so much Hannah!! Can't express your much what you said means to me :)
Much love
Hey man, saw you on TikTok and came to watch the whole podcast. Super inspirational to a lot of people out there and love your positive energy despite everything you experienced.
i came from tiktok. this was wild!! thank you so much for sharing your story. i was molested by my dad and i still have a hard time talking about it. it’s a great and necessary work that you’re doing. i hope you’re doing well!
Thank you Madison! We're all in this healing journey together :) Much love!
I found your video on tik tok and watched the whole video and I applaud you for telling your story! I have a story of my own that my mind seems to not want to open up. It all seems so blurry, I sometimes feel my mind is playing tricks and I don’t know if it happened or not, but I’ve always tried to make sense of it for years and I don’t know if something happened to me as a child. I wish I could remember it but I can’t, as hard as I try I really can’t, and if one day I’m able to, I’ll for sure be telling my story.
Thank you for This. I’m also a victim but this has and will help me keep my son safe.
I saw this first of all your videos, and I never made a comment. It was very powerful, and made me want to know your story better so I could also help others! Thank you for being the bravest little boy in the world Sebastian.
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this but also thank you for talking about it, you are so right about ending the stigmatism!
One of the most meaningfull hour of my life. Hope you are doing better now. And so glad you and jamie are still friends Even after all that ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story and allowing others to do the same. You’re helping out so much; you have no idea! Thank you!!!
Thank you. You are a brave, caring person, and you seem to have adjusted your life in a very positive, healthy manner. Many people will benefit watching your videos. Cheers!
Thank you for sharing your story man. It helps to see other people talk about their stories to know I’m not alone.
Thank you for watching Tatiana! Really appreciate it. There are so many people out there who know exactly how we feel. Glad you don't feel alone :)
I am so so proud of you and it feels like you have healed and forgiven yourself. Stay strong ❤️
Dude, thanks for sharing and I am sorry this happened to you. I have been molested/sexually abused by a few different people and it totally confused me. Mine started when I was around 5 and happened for years. I never told anyone because we were not allowed to talk about sexual things in our house. Plus getting boners meant I liked it, and they would point that out and say things like "wow!!! I can see you like this" (I know that is NOT true now but only understood that about 6 years ago while in therapy) First time being shown porn too...sigh.... Needless to say, I developed some bad coping behaviors and still struggle with relationships... my poor wife. Seeing a therapist and joining support groups for a while now and trying to work through things. (more then just the sexual abuse). I find it hard to talk about the sexual abuse and not have people cast some judgment. Anyway, Thank you for being brave and sharing. I respect you being able to talk so openly.
I can not even tell you how I hurt for you!!!!! This is a brave thing you've done here!!!! I MISS YOU!!!
I just wanted to say I watch a lot of things pertaining to child molestation and abuse honestly because I can’t wrap my mind around HOW or WHY adults do this but also to try to prevent it from ever happening to my children by trying to think about the what if’s and to not put them in certain situations but also never letting them go anywhere. Which sounds horrible that I’m so overprotective like that but I know kids don’t want to tell because of many reasons. One being scared. But I wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to the grooming that you encountered. I had no idea about that type of stuff happening like you said the getting comfortable with being touched. I know that had to be incredibly hard to understand as a kid and i try to think of something positive that comes out of something bad (which sounds stupid) but out of your story of what you have been through you can help so many people by just sharing and teaching people to talk to their kids. So thank you again for opening up and talking about this and being brave enough to stand up and not be embarrassed (because obviously there no reason to be,but a lot of people won’t speak up because they are.) so thank you so much for that.
I'm so grateful that you share this with us. I think it will help people to feel understood and not being alone with this kind of experiences! Thank you so much!!!
thank you so much for sharing your story, brave soul.
Saw your tiktok and came here. Very brave of you to open up about this traumatic experience.
It is so sad when adults doesn't believe to the kids. Your story is terrible, 3 years enduring a molester, and when you go the jury the guy get no convicted. I would be terrified to seeing him at the neighborhood. You are very brave to openly share your experience in order to bring awareness. God bless you, I hope one day you can heal and forget. You was never guilty of nothing that happened to you. You was only a kid, never forget that
Thank you. You're incredible.
I believe you and I am proud of you. I rly wish u the best for ur future
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry you suffered this way. Glad you are healing emotionally. 🙏
Powerful, truthful, real, and so very, very important. Thank you for sharing. You're a such a skillful communicator. Good luck in all your life endeavors.
Here from tiktok, and the first tiktok I seen from you is the ripping ass one. This video is a complete 180 from that video. What a heartbreaking story.
thank you for bringing awareness to this. i’m so sorry you had to go through it though. you seem like a great guy!
You’re such a brave and beautiful soul. Thank you again for sharing
Proud of you booboo. I'm very sorry you went through that and didn't get proper justice.
Thanks A.S., I appreciate you :)
@@SebastianScales I appreciate you too!
Damn, thanks for sharing. Very helpful bud
i hope you’re doing well 💖 you’re very brave
🙏🏾
I'm so sorry this happened to you
Thank you for sharing your story with the world. I too am a survivor. 💜
I hope that maybe you could do another episode about your story, and what it felt like to go through that, and how it has been for you dealing with it since it stopped. And how it has effected you. That is a lot to request...but I just thought I would put that out there, because this episode was so helpful for me. And maybe you wouldn’t mind doing a follow up, so I just thought I might ask. Thank you so much for this, I identify so much with your story. Thank you.
Hey Jessica - Thanks for watching and reaching out! I'm so glad it was helpful. I will absolutely do something like this! Sorry for the delayed response. I'm going to be posting more regularly about recovery, and will try to address all of the topics you mentioned. Thanks again for everything you said. It means so much :) ❤️
Hey. This is really powerful.
Hey :) Thank you!
Came from ur tik tok video
I love you, thank you, this helped me so much
Thank you
I didn't know there was a youtube version, I've listened to spotify lol
Thinking about the grooming faze that my sister went through :( wish I would’ve seen the signs
Did you ever talk to Jaime about the molestation?
Thanks for sharing. Watched to the end. You’re very articulate. Nothing worse than loneliness. You should approach Hollywood to do a movie. Jesus is a healer
word..stay strong
Thanks brother!
Okay tw but when he straight up said that to you in front of jamie during a snow fight I think that’s very common and they are trying to make you feel like it’s not a big deal and telling people won’t help you.. I’m realizing
OMG!
A memory just popped into my head..
I was having a sleepover with my best friend and I wake up to her 10 YEAR OLD brother with his hands all over my body in the bed with us. Under my underwear, under my shirt,my bottom. I just froze. I babysitted this boy, cooked for him,helped with his homework. I just pretended to sleep until a hour or two then he stopped. I was 16 and he was 10..
Is that normal??
It is not normal, this means also that he is being touched or learned it from some were. Maybe also porno idk..
Don’t think anyone thought you were lying. Hope you find peace about that
Thank you my friend. I feel like I have more than ever recently and it feels incredibly freeing :)
I came here from watching the Shaun T interview
Admittedly I'm no legal expert but I have watched a lot of Law and Order ( 😂) anyway it sounds almost like the prosecutor did not do due diligence in regard to pretrial interviews of the complaining witness versus the other witnesses. Because if they had they would have been able to compare notes and make sure they went over EVERYTHING and that info should not have been brought out for the first time on the stand in front of the jury. Anyway, overall this is an important topic and props for sharing 🙌
14:48 Not the best thing to hear at night
My father confronted the monster that molested me and the monster told my dad that i used to wake up at night to go to him!!! 6yrs old, like he really thought that by saying that to my dad that it was all fine because somehow me at 6yrs old that i was asking for it! Like wtf the audacity of the the fucking monster😒
I think 'Jamie' felt guilty because there is no way his Father had not done it to him as well. Pedophilia is a serious compulsive disorder. Jamie likely was used as a baiter to get kids to come over to Daddy's house. This is sicker than you are aware. I am sorry this happened to you Sebastian. Hope you're OK now.
I am sorry this happened to you..Was the mom in the picture at all?
Update: i asked about the mom before you mentioned her.
Why are you protecting the name? Say it loud and clear!!! Please first middle and last
Might be incase he does go to court again
You left out important part of your friends reaction to what he admitted during snowball fight? Also, if you're friends still today, how wouldn't you know if your friend was also victimized because he had to know there was a criminal trial against his dad as well as it being in the news? Wouldn't that come up during investigation and then on the stand? And wouldn't your friend have to admit what his dad said on the stand? Then leading to if your friend had the same fate? Excellent video I'm at the 20 min mark, sorry. I know you're withholding the dad's name and that it was in the news.....but I've even searched wiggle game molestation trial washington state and nothing back! Was hoping to dive into this trial, the news around it, as Washington State is very dear to me. Proud of what you're doing. I was sexually assaulted at 14 at Walt Disney World, greatest place on earth! Then again assaulted at knifepoint when I was 18. Thanks for doing these. #survivors
What happened to the guys reputation? Did the town believe you even though he was found not guilty? What about Jamie at school and stuff?
Thanks for the video!
You are such a beautiful soul with a totally authentic way of communicating. Thank you for all you do. 🤍 You’re so right about how difficult it is to recount trauma. Warnings wrapped in micro aggressions, secrecy & sly manipulation from the abuser leaves the survivors in a paralysis. And the blindness of other adults to the reality, make it so hard to overcome that trauma. Were they wilfully blind? Too self involved to notice? Or just dim? When I’ve brought it up in adulthood with those I felt could NOT have missed the signs & must have been aware, they all claim ignorance. They are all such cowards. They all make me feel kinda sick. It’s very painful to have been let down so badly.
I can’t believe he wasn’t convicted. I am so pissed. Jail rape is the ultimate justice for this IMPO