Parasites by Weerdo5255 | Humans are space Orcs | Terrans are OP | TFOS1006

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  • @TransbianOwl
    @TransbianOwl 3 роки тому +123

    I think werewolves would have it best, all they would need to do is becomes man's newest best friend... because we all know there will be at least one person who sees them and goes "Doggo!"

    • @chrisdufresne9359
      @chrisdufresne9359 3 роки тому +15

      Mans best friend would gain competition

    • @TheCaptNoname
      @TheCaptNoname 3 роки тому +17

      _* insert a dirty joke about an intercourse with 14 werewolves here *_

    • @kriegsmanjaeger5545
      @kriegsmanjaeger5545 2 роки тому +12

      I've been on the internet long enough, I know that they already have.

    • @zyanidwarfare5634
      @zyanidwarfare5634 2 роки тому +17

      Yeah, and werewolves don’t need to mooch off humans for blood, they just eat anything our dogs would eat really.
      Hell I’d befriend a werewolf over a vampire

    • @ShadowcatAlfa
      @ShadowcatAlfa 2 роки тому +2

      damn furries

  • @Destroyer_V0
    @Destroyer_V0 3 роки тому +126

    For a character named mary sue. Her skills don't come from nowhere.

  • @dragoncore7376
    @dragoncore7376 3 роки тому +200

    I love a good "ignorant immortal vampire gets their shit kicked in" story like this. Really highlights the importance of knowing thy enemy.

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +20

      and keeping up with the world around you

  • @stephenmemelord2303
    @stephenmemelord2303 3 роки тому +127

    "Yo vampire! You know those old flintlock pistols and rifles you loved before you last slept?"
    "Yeah...?"
    [revs minigun with holy intent]

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +26

      brrrrrrrrt

    • @chrisdufresne9359
      @chrisdufresne9359 3 роки тому +21

      Happy A-10 noises

    • @ouberfox5898
      @ouberfox5898 3 роки тому +12

      @@chrisdufresne9359 why hasn't enyone mounted one of those canons on a tank yet? Ya it's big and bulky and would probably tip enything less but... enything you point it is going to have a bad time and the morall boost wen it goes is op

    • @chrisdufresne9359
      @chrisdufresne9359 3 роки тому +11

      @@ouberfox5898 The recoil from firing the cannon would require too much foundation for stability to allow any kind of mobile ground deployment. The gun itself is over half of the A-10s length.

    • @TheSchultinator
      @TheSchultinator 3 роки тому +3

      @@ouberfox5898 The A-10's gun can be effective, from the air and targeting the tops, sides, and rears of tanks. It's mostly ineffective against the front of a tank at standard tank combat ranges.

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 3 роки тому +160

    Modern weapons and technology vs old fashioned monster.... Vivisection is the word of the day!

  • @dantreadwell7421
    @dantreadwell7421 3 роки тому +10

    "Thou can not kill that which doth not live, but you can blow it into chunky kibble"

  • @kalskirata42
    @kalskirata42 3 роки тому +89

    "If you know yourself as well as your enemy, you need not fear the outcome of a hundred battles. If you know yourself, but not the enemy; for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

    • @jyrikgaulderson8041
      @jyrikgaulderson8041 3 роки тому +5

      Sun tzu says...^
      The art of war.

    • @jacobfoss7783
      @jacobfoss7783 3 роки тому +7

      If you know the enemy but not yourself, what the fuck have you been doing, then?

    • @DubiousFIN
      @DubiousFIN Рік тому

      ​@@jacobfoss7783 whatever the Vampires In this story have been doing

  • @continentaltuber8610
    @continentaltuber8610 3 роки тому +38

    The nanites have demanded total surrender, one of the demands are to hand over all my socks, it was good knowing you all

  • @zredband
    @zredband 3 роки тому +55

    Apparently they never heard of flamethrowers...

    • @ryankaiser2702
      @ryankaiser2702 3 роки тому +12

      Or napalm

    • @dwavenminer
      @dwavenminer 3 роки тому +14

      @@ryankaiser2702 white phosphorus says hello

    • @alexs5814
      @alexs5814 3 роки тому +23

      Hans!! How could it be zat ve hav been vorgotten?
      Hans! Bring ze Flammenwerfer!

    • @erushi5503
      @erushi5503 3 роки тому +5

      @@alexs5814 werfer flammen it iz

    • @alexs5814
      @alexs5814 3 роки тому +2

      @@erushi5503 I also love that other German weapon.
      "Nebelwerfer. It werfs nebel."^^

  • @erikmckoul2478
    @erikmckoul2478 3 роки тому +54

    Oh man that vampire is going to experience some horrible things in the near future.

    • @genericuser984
      @genericuser984 3 роки тому +23

      I immediately pictured the TF2 medic laughing maniacally as they strap the vampire into a surgical table

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +16

      not going to have a good century

  • @veryangryduckpl2122
    @veryangryduckpl2122 3 роки тому +63

    Mary Sue. XD. Finally, Mary Sue who isn't overpowered.

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 роки тому +7

      Kinda. But not in a MARY SUE way, breaking laws of universe. She's strong female character, that's all :D

    • @veryangryduckpl2122
      @veryangryduckpl2122 3 роки тому +6

      @@Crazylom Yep, that was the joke.

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 роки тому +3

      @@veryangryduckpl2122 Explaining and being one since 2003

    • @erikagehm2805
      @erikagehm2805 3 роки тому +2

      @@Crazylom and well written.

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 роки тому +1

      @@erikagehm2805 Yeah.

  • @NoBody-bx4cp
    @NoBody-bx4cp 3 роки тому +28

    It doesn't matter if you're a vampire or some kind of super-bioweapon, engineered for defense.
    A Nutshot hurts. A lot.

  • @serpentinious7745
    @serpentinious7745 3 роки тому +43

    Still a better love story than Twilight
    Someone had to say it

  • @calvingreene90
    @calvingreene90 3 роки тому +62

    Dragon breath rounds for the win.

    • @ryf9265
      @ryf9265 3 роки тому +3

      Now put them in a AA12 shotgun

    • @ICountFrom0
      @ICountFrom0 3 роки тому +1

      You'd ruin the AA12 before you were even through the magazine, and you do NOT want blowback out of that.
      In this case your best off with a golf bag of the cheepest, oldest and nastiest bottom scraping double barrels from the back of a farm truck... okay, maybe not 1911's but...

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 Рік тому

      ​@@ICountFrom0
      Assuming your propaganda against Dragon breath rounds is true a pump-action still works.

    • @ICountFrom0
      @ICountFrom0 Рік тому

      If you want to risk firing even a SECOND shot down the barrels after the first ones... you are braver then most. I'd treat anything with those as single shot, fire them, leave them.

    • @calvingreene90
      @calvingreene90 Рік тому

      @@ICountFrom0
      The evidence doesn't support your position.

  • @locomastero
    @locomastero 3 роки тому +7

    I had to pause the video at the girl's name and laugh for a solid minute before continuing XD

  • @alexs5814
    @alexs5814 3 роки тому +9

    Thought prompt!
    Will they make their Lawyers into Vamps? just for laughs?

    • @Crazylom
      @Crazylom 3 роки тому +5

      Just imagine - immortal lawyers, with endless potential in mindfecking.

    • @alexs5814
      @alexs5814 3 роки тому +1

      @@Crazylom I was referencing the Bee Movie but you are absolutely correct^^

  • @TheMonkey747
    @TheMonkey747 2 роки тому +4

    "Who's a Good Boy? Yes you are! Yes you are!"
    *wags tail
    'Anything for scritches.'

  • @James-bw4np
    @James-bw4np 3 роки тому +11

    There is no way her name is Mary Sue. She broke bones, out thought, and had to fight thru to win. Loved the story though!

  • @Mad_Overseer
    @Mad_Overseer 3 роки тому +29

    This vampires didn't seem that bad and one was in love you with! you could slowly manipulate them into helping the humans

    • @erikmckoul2478
      @erikmckoul2478 3 роки тому +18

      Meh they will do more as test subjects in a lab somewhere.

    • @johnnymellon7414
      @johnnymellon7414 3 роки тому +14

      They didn't seem overly capable of anything grand

    • @fist-of-doom487
      @fist-of-doom487 3 роки тому +18

      She deftly dodged a dumb YA Vampire Story. No one should have to suffer with that kind of baggage

  • @kahuna_6424
    @kahuna_6424 3 роки тому +38

    I really hope there is a part 2. Mainly because of the last sentence, I interpreted it as the vamp felt betrayed by the one he loves
    Even though she was totally justified lol

  • @ladymecha8718
    @ladymecha8718 3 роки тому +25

    When the military meets vampires

    • @k0rf3on6
      @k0rf3on6 3 роки тому +4

      Brother? Load the ammunition.
      The Holy ammunition.

  • @BlueStarr86
    @BlueStarr86 3 роки тому +9

    Alucard would approve.

  • @decimation9780
    @decimation9780 2 роки тому +16

    "Enough blunt trauma can kill us." "Bullets cannot harm us." Hmm, apparently these vampires didn’t bother to study physics, otherwise they’d have realized how fucked they were.

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 3 роки тому +14

    Thank you for a good reading Argo.

  • @БорисБалалайкин-м4ю

    Heroine is a literal Mary Sue

    • @Destroyer_V0
      @Destroyer_V0 3 роки тому +2

      Except isn't, cause they got their skills and knowledge from prior military service? Also got saved by their friends bringing along some heavy ordinance.
      could not be further from her namesake.

  • @Crazylom
    @Crazylom 3 роки тому +3

    I ulready can imagine those two to be characters in a comedy or/and cartoon

  • @dulizardglasses3170
    @dulizardglasses3170 3 роки тому +7

    The P90 is not an assault rifle…don’t know where they got that idea

    • @thesocialistsarecoming8565
      @thesocialistsarecoming8565 3 роки тому +4

      I mean, it does shoot 5.7, so at least as good as a rifle close up.

    • @dulizardglasses3170
      @dulizardglasses3170 3 роки тому +4

      @@thesocialistsarecoming8565 yes but it is a sub machine gun. Every media source refers to it as a sub machine gun. I’m just wondering why the people who made the story refer to it as an assault rifle

    • @thesocialistsarecoming8565
      @thesocialistsarecoming8565 3 роки тому +1

      @@dulizardglasses3170 why do people misspell basic words when writing or typing and leave it in a final draft? Lack of proofreading id assume would be the cause of an issue like that.

    • @dulizardglasses3170
      @dulizardglasses3170 3 роки тому +2

      @@thesocialistsarecoming8565 well yes that could be it but Its kinda wired to me that it’s even in the story. It takes place in the US. And I think most citizens in the US (including myself until recently) knew you could get a P90 also the US military does not use P90s so I don’t know how a few soldiers would snag one from the armory.

    • @thesocialistsarecoming8565
      @thesocialistsarecoming8565 3 роки тому +2

      @@dulizardglasses3170 dont get me wrong, im not arguing, but yes, the US military does have P90s. In the SF and SOF communities they use alot of different guns, the green berets even have a working library of almost every gun known to man they might find in a 1st 2nd or 3rd world country, from mp40s to soviet era HMGs to modern high tech.
      Edit:in fact about 30 years ago they broke out Sten guns for the whole thing that happened in Haiti and used them.

  • @ceterfo
    @ceterfo 2 роки тому +1

    Stories like this you make me regret getting into this.

  • @discusmaximus
    @discusmaximus 8 місяців тому

    For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

  • @ouberfox5898
    @ouberfox5898 3 роки тому +5

    I mean a auto shotgun is a monster hunter. If it won't die it will at least slow it down lots of damage.

  • @Bonesaw4444
    @Bonesaw4444 3 роки тому +3

    I hear quiet clacking noises. Did my socks just move?

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +1

      no comment

    • @Bonesaw4444
      @Bonesaw4444 3 роки тому +1

      @@AgroSquerril Sure that that is no comment?

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +1

      @@Bonesaw4444 yarp

    • @erikmckoul2478
      @erikmckoul2478 3 роки тому

      Did you survive the horrors of the moving socks?

    • @Bonesaw4444
      @Bonesaw4444 3 роки тому

      @@erikmckoul2478 I am alive but my sock is gone...

  • @drewahrens3141
    @drewahrens3141 3 роки тому +1

    As a Lycan, this story makes me very happy.
    Lycos Silverblood, Alpha of the Silverblood Lycan Clan.

  • @gregwunderlich4253
    @gregwunderlich4253 Рік тому

    This needs more.
    Much more.

  • @TechnoSpectre3
    @TechnoSpectre3 2 роки тому +3

    WOW, this woman is rude. I understand about the abduction, but they didn't force her, don't display sadism, didn't say they were better than or deserved to rule humans. For their kind, they were profusely polite, and got annihilated for their trouble.

    • @kriegsmanjaeger5545
      @kriegsmanjaeger5545 2 роки тому +1

      One of them got annihilated the other will get vivisected.

    • @jorgecarreras4214
      @jorgecarreras4214 2 роки тому +2

      They broke into her house, broke her freaking arm, chased her down like an animal, tried charrm magic, and wanted her to be grateful that they were "poite" because they didn't immediately chowdown on her in her sleep, and absolutely, positively, refused to let her go, no matter how loudly she objected.
      They deserved everything they got.

  • @sherylcascadden4988
    @sherylcascadden4988 Рік тому +1

    A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.

  • @scrapmaker2020
    @scrapmaker2020 2 роки тому

    I need more story’s like this

  • @dogwalter3655
    @dogwalter3655 3 роки тому +3

    Exactly what I thought would happen

  • @thecatlover5093
    @thecatlover5093 2 роки тому +1

    Mary Sue? No their name is Anita Blake.

  • @KroMagnum4
    @KroMagnum4 3 роки тому +5

    Nothing like a good kinetic kill weapon😎

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 3 роки тому +1

    For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

  • @xxKillgorxx
    @xxKillgorxx 3 роки тому +3

    This is a great story. But I'm sorry in saying that most of the time I'm just wondering where the hell are we? We have our main character being addressed by rank, someone saying they were able to swipe an M107, a full auto P90, a spas 12, and M16s. I admit it could be in there just for the guns looking cool but I'm completely confused who these people are or where we are.

    • @SpectorOfDoomYT
      @SpectorOfDoomYT 3 роки тому +4

      Texas

    • @decimation9780
      @decimation9780 2 роки тому +1

      You’d be surprised at how little a quartermaster looks at what you’re doing if you’re of high enough rank. Also how few soldiers or marines are stationed to guard the armoury in the first place.

  • @mackenziedrake
    @mackenziedrake 4 місяці тому

    First Mary Sue story like this one I've come across. I love it.

  • @gabriellecalebq4410
    @gabriellecalebq4410 3 роки тому +6

    FOR THE ALGORITHM

  • @ChrissieBear
    @ChrissieBear 2 роки тому +1

    The p90 is not an assault rifle.

    • @Nobody-11B
      @Nobody-11B Рік тому

      Technically it's a pistol because of the caliber...
      PDW maybe.

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 3 роки тому

    Bless the Squerril

  • @Monster_Ink
    @Monster_Ink 3 роки тому

    I enjoyed this one!
    For the Algorithm!

  • @purpledevilr7463
    @purpledevilr7463 3 роки тому +3

    *FOR THE ALGORITHM!!!*

  • @nos2342
    @nos2342 3 роки тому

    To please the algorithm is all

  • @genericuser984
    @genericuser984 3 роки тому +1

    neat

  • @shadowhenge7118
    @shadowhenge7118 3 роки тому +1

    Still a vetter story than Twilight... Wait....

  • @theicyphoenix_7745
    @theicyphoenix_7745 3 роки тому

    damn i lost all my socks to that nanite swarm :/

  • @WiredTurkey316
    @WiredTurkey316 3 роки тому

    Crack open a cold one with the boys

  • @silverbutterfly1739
    @silverbutterfly1739 3 роки тому +2

    I like Mary she's awesome

  • @pagansavage5267
    @pagansavage5267 9 місяців тому

    Go for 100000

  • @georgesaunders6362
    @georgesaunders6362 8 місяців тому

    Now that I've clicked the like will I get my sock back?

  • @jimmycoyote74
    @jimmycoyote74 3 роки тому

    For the algorithm

  • @USS_Grey_Ghost
    @USS_Grey_Ghost Рік тому

    Ok now to domesticate Werewolves

  • @josmeijers2818
    @josmeijers2818 3 роки тому

    F.T.A !

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 10 місяців тому

    167th, 7 January 2024

  • @johnjohnjohnson7720
    @johnjohnjohnson7720 3 роки тому

    There's just something off about this story.

  • @wholeeyschmoley580
    @wholeeyschmoley580 3 роки тому

    So very CHEEKY!!! JAJAJAJA

  • @ironworksdragon6843
    @ironworksdragon6843 3 роки тому

    Booob the drgn

  • @nelkeranforgeworks7716
    @nelkeranforgeworks7716 3 роки тому

    For the algorithm

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw 3 роки тому

    For the algorithm