Rituals for Dating - Esther Perel
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- Опубліковано 16 бер 2021
- When you are dating, creating rituals means beginning to create something that is shared.
This is a clip is from my live workshop: Rituals for Your Relationships. Watch the full video here: • Rituals for Your Relat...
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Letters From Esther Perel is my monthly newsletter and free workshop series that explores important topics in the world of relationships, as well as resources and action items to help you explore these themes in everyday life. To subscribe, visit bitly.com/lettersfromesther.
Esther Perel is an international treasure. One of the wisest and knowledgeable healers I’ve had the fortune to come across.
She is absolutely right - the basis of compatibility is commonalities. Successful dating and relationships are based on weaving those commonalities and preserving them with time.
Very true. And that's why for too many dating these days is becoming very tricky. In the world of swiping and this idea that there's always someone better out there, too many miss out on an ability to connect. How can one connect if they don't even take a moment to create commonalities.
She just changed my life in 1 minute and 49 seconds
Our new story begins here 😊🐱
True lol
A day with esther is always a blessing.
Esther has actually been saving my anxious mind from self destruction contributed by our current world status and being in a new relationship right before lockdown started in my country. She has been feeding me with insights about other people's relationship challenges in her podcasts, here on youtube, and recently got her audiobook, mating in captivity. Her experience, directness, unbiased point of view about how we live and connect with others help me become a better adult. Esther thank you.
Gosh, I love this woman brain so hard.
Ritual is by definition re-experiencable. Subconsciously drawing you towards a mutual habit to feel a save space of recognition. Of course re-inventing it creatively in the moment to tingle more excitement through shared discovery and mistery :)
I LOVE your hair! You look radiant!
I really enjoy sharing music playlists. That’s extremely sentimental for me
me too 😭👍
me toooo
Yeah if I share something w someone that’s a big thing for me, whether it’s movies I like or whatever. Im pretty sentimental in that, things mean stuff to me, there very sacred.
Thank you for sharing this information with us. I'm preparing to understand the rituals in my relationships.
Excellent! Consisous and Valuable Message. Please, please continue with short and wise messages, we have a strong difficulty with Wi-Fi-Internet. Blessings. Maracaibo, Venezuela.
I went on first date in almost three years, a total disaster. I was like a “cat on a hot tin roof”! Not ready!
I believe Esther Perel's advice on relationships is the most authentic and she has made me a better man for it. The real problem for me is FINDING a woman who is fully aware of the need to learn what Esther offers. Of what good is it to strive to embody Esther's knowledge if you can't find a woman who feels likewise?
If you finally embody her teaching ( vs. having the initial AHA- effect and then fall back into old patterns) the right woman will show up!
So : Behave according to your new insights as if your woman has already arrived...day after day! (vs. changing only WHEN she arrives).
This is really hard to do, but its the only way it will work for you.
Yes. Less than 2 minutes you said it all. We need to have SOMETHING we share...this is our Favorite place, music. 😍
Thank you so much for this amazing video.
Never take anyone to your REALLY favourite places early on tho, because if it all goes bad, you’ll be glad you kept it to yourself.
Love the extra blonde highlights. It suits you very well. Great Appreciation for your work ❤️
I havent been on a date in YEARS. I'm not sure how its going to happen as I'm not on social media, dating sites, and don't go out much (pre pandemic). Ppl out there are crazy, I'm not, and just dont want any run-ins. What's a lady to do?
Get out the house.
Everybody is crazy, different ways anyway.
Get out of the house and make new friends. You’re not gonna meet someone by being afraid and staying at home
This is all beautiful and on the other side of the coin, incredibly heartbreaking if it doesn’t work out.
I was thinking the same thing.
true, but it can only work out if you keep on trying.. and then when it doesn't work out you keep on trying again
I love this. Thank you.
Love the idea of making these rituals to create something shared between the couple
Life changing advice. Thank you.
Thank you for this content.
Ester, you are a true gem! Btw, I love your hairstyle.
These are beautiful sentiments and ideas about dating rituals, but in most cases and especially during this pandemic life has changed in very dramatic ways.
where does one even start.
Exactly! New person =new loving memories needing to be made.
Wasn't this exactly how folks dated for decades... I guess post-Tinder people really need a refresher course on being human.
This is beautiful :)
Esther you are so beautiful inside and out I love watching your videos you have great insight and wisdom to share.. your hair looks so wonderful like this it really suits you I love it.
Interesting video!!!
Good advice. As a woman I learned to be very aware of the partner's behaviour: Is he offering/proposing rituals as well, or is it just MY idea of trying to prove to him how good this relationship COULD be?
Had to learn to take my time to wait and see what he is willing and capeable to contribute...
There is a lot of truth in what you say. The "trying to prove to him ...."-part really kicked in. Needed to read this. I am really working on trying to take the time and wait to see what he will and can bring "to table". So thank you for sharing, this really helps!
Finally, sth for us singletons!!! Thank you.
Thank you!
Brilliant woman! And stunning 🤩
Yes, these rituals are true of platonic friendships and even pranks at work too. We find common themes to communicate connection. As far as dating, how do we meet people during COVID times? Or maybe there’s times for dating and for not dating?
Esther, love your hair!!!!
Wonderful
Excellent
Thank you Esther, I really enjoy listening to you.
Comme toujour... ;))
Dankjewel!
Nice
So wonderfully true. I’m wondering (and this may be coming up in your series) why, at first, couples seem startled to discover that they have so much in common. This was meant to be! Soulmate! But as time goes on, differences arise...different food likes and dislikes, different past histories, different preferences. Is it because we cease trying to adapt to the other person. (“Oh, I love bike riding, too.” Later turns into “You go on your own, honey, I don’t like racing on the bike like you do,!” ), or is it re-establishing a sense of self (perhaps as a guard against getting hurt if things don’t work out). Despite living it several times in my life, I don’t know the answer. Thank you, Dr. Perel
People change but you have to be able to deal with changes that are good, neutral and bad. Riding a bike is neutral. Losing weight is good. Going out riding your bike all of the time to avoid spending time with your partner is bad. People re-act inappropriately to each scenario.For example your partner losing weight is intrinsically good but if you are thinking they are losing weight because they are having an affair or planning to leave you or planning to change your eating habits which you don't want to change, then that's an inappropriate response. So a good/positive/helpful/health change is met with a bad/negative/unhelpful/unhealthy response. Another thing that happens is when a partner changes for the worst. For example, drinking two bottles of wine every night. This is an unhealthy behaviour that is often met with an affirming response: Oh she/he works so hard, they should be allowed to relax when they come home at night. Part of it is learning to adapt but part of it is knowing when to not act and when to enforce boundaries and stage interventions in a kind and respectful and caring way.
Good comment. I believe it all starts with honesty. Genuine honesty from both people. I’ve dated too many women who, at first, act like they’re your soulmate. They love the same music,food, activities,etc. Only to find out later it was all an act. Guard your heart to a certain point. You’ll know in time, usually through hard life circumstances, when it’s genuine.
@@johngrasso1483 I see, John. Good points. Do you think women are more willing to "act like they're your soulmate" than are men? It seems that way to me, but I'm a man and could be reading it wrong.
@@Burps___ Yes I do.
@@Burps___ I've seen both men and women "pretend to like" what the other person likes just to get and keep the relationship. Luckily or unluckily I could never do that. Definitely not a poker face.
Love you
I hope to meet you one day ✨
matching t-shirts ! 😝
when will the channel be in Russian? or at least subtitles. I really want to listen to you
Why are the books on your shelf book to front?
Shalom Esther from Germany :) ...love Your revelations
Wait it's just ended when I was settling in🙆
The full video is also online
You look beautiful 😍
Encore 🙏🏾😁
🙏✨🍀💐
Esther have you got any tolips on making friends?
I been alone for years now. I deserve a good ol man.
Когда канал на русском будет ? Очень хочу слушать 😢хотя бы с субтитрами
🥂
New sub✨
OH! You became blond :-0 ... that’s different! Good different!
What does it mean when you don’t want anyone else’s stuff at your place or your stuff at theirs? LOL
This girl seems coming from 18th century...dating is usually an occasion to show who is good at pretending and persuading....that's It 😉
If you want more or at the very least to be happy in life, you are going to have to stop pretending and stop trying to persuade people including yourself.
@@marleyhill34 the concept is pretty simple...if you want someone you have to persuade it...it's rarely to get involved into so-called love at first sight 😉
Esther, j'aime ta chevelure.
Not true! This is not dating rituals. This is COUPLING rituals. If you are only on dates #0 - 3... or 4, then this stuff is useless.
I thought it was a start as you mean to go on....... I mean if there is nothing personal (not private. that's creepy) shared from initial contact to date 4, I lose interest and start to disconnect...but maybe that's just me and my ADHD traits. lol!
Girl bye!!! These fools fall in love over texts and social media... We're facing a whole new kind of stupid...
No chance in my love life, I can't even get them to write in complete sentences or reply within 24 hours. When I see that I disconnect and lose interest. Lol!
@@marleyhill34 man!!!! Thankfully I'm not as weak minded as some I've seen... However to watch someone claim they've found love, via social media.. or because they've been texting, for an extended period of time.... Personally scares me. Then!!!! They finally meet up and feel free to just give it all up... I'll pass. I'm not into random sexual encounters... The killer part is... Watching them then, get bitter, as to why it didn't turn into something more... Smh. I just smile and nod.
@@missbree7333 so people are dating hopefully and you’re judging them? Seems silly. If their way doesn’t work for you okay. But what does work for you? Because you’re only saying what you won’t do but no mention of what “works”
@@hothoneymustard I'm simply saying to be weak minded and gullible are bad traits... And don't really work when you don't know yourself well enough to fall for everyone you text.. meet on social media... And decide to freely screw... Smh. Have some morals... A lil self control maybe.
Please put a clip in your hair so you do not need to keep putting it back it is distracting when you keep having to mess with it
Seems perfectly natural to me. Now tell it to the modern woman.
I NEVER Take a date to MY places...too many nutter women out there.......
But you should know that she is a nutter before you take her anywhere right??....or wrong?? My spidey senses always tingle when they are eager to meet up before we've even discussed what we actually like doing for interests and hobbies.
when will the channel be in Russian? or at least subtitles. I really want to listen to you