Women Are Taught that Men Will Save You If You're Married | Ask a Black Woman Ep. 5
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- The women discussed married life as a black woman.
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In this episode of Ask a Black Woman, the women discussed the married life according to the black woman. The topics range from if they prefer traditional roles to the perception of how women can be saved by a man and elevated if you're married. What are your thoughts on this episode? Let us know in the comments below.
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MADAMENOIRE is a passionate, cutting-edge web publication geared towards African-American women. The publication's mission is to unite black women at various stages of their lives, around a common aspiration for better, more fulfilling lifestyles. MADAMENOIRE provides breaking news, an open forum for discussion and cosmopolitan advice born from the lived experiences and needs of these women of color (which includes mothers, young professionals, fashionistas and intellectuals).
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Women Are Taught that Men Will Save You If You're Married | Ask a Black Woman Ep. 5
"They've raised these sons as their husbands" SIS. They let them get away with sooooo much. It's a psychological thing. I felt that one on a spiritual level.
She spit that thing ok?!! I totally blame these mothers. But it's also the fathers fault for not being their, and/or not being me of integrity themselves.
Ladies, I've met men whose mothers were married and their mothers still handled them like jealous girlfriends. It's very disturbing at times when they justify their mothers ways by saying 'that's just how she is or you'll be the same way with your sons'. That's a issue.
i have definitely witnessed this, even in my own family. my mom treats both my brothers as her surrogate husbands because my parents divorced and my dad is a deadbeat dad. in some cases its severe and its emotional incest which is extremely damaging to the male child, think norman bates from psycho
emotional incest is such a great way to out it!
MoChunks Show 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Black men get that stigma and other races dont because, regardless how bad the "locker room" talk is... Non black men for the most part, marry their women, raise their kids, and validate the women of their ethnicity.
- thank you for proving my point. Their on their SECOND AND THIRD MARRIAGES, regardless of infedelity, they marry their women. Black men dont marry anyone and have 3 different baby mothers.
K Aaron Preach!
K Aaron true
Black men are the only men who economically do not have collective wealth.
Jerrell Slay | You don’t travel much do you? If you think American women are bad please don’t come to the EU.
The one who said that single black moms, allow their sins to treat women with disrespect and raises her son like he's her husband; yeeeeees!!!!!! That was a halleluyah moment!!!!
Trust, I know a few married moms who raise their sons like husbands as well. In one case it led the husband to feel 2nd and withdrawal from the relationship. I'm dealing with a man now whose mother is married and she handles him like a jealous girlfriend.
+C RD That's a shame. Change is coming though and the entire "black race" will be corrected (Deuteronomy 28); this is biblical.
But I dont get that point. Like do they sleep with their sons?
daphnee paul omg preach some act like there sleeping with them or so in love with there sons. It's actually sad because what there doing is preventing there adult sons from having a healthy happy relationship with a black woman. And don't let you have children with there son because they really show you how jealous they can be as a mother it's like some moms are fighting for the love and attention and affection from their son that their son is giving to their woman. I've already told myself if me and my guy get married we're just going to elope because it would save a lot of problems and headaches from his mom.
@@charlisewitcher1219 the only time I've seen this is on that movie with Terrence J. Not sure this happens much in real life
The chick with the Blonde Braids is on POINT with her comments.
That lady with the braids was speaking straight facts when it comes to single moms and their sons. I saw that happen plenty of times and i hate that they would allow that to happen. Some people just really don't know how to raise kids because they never face/dealt with their own issues.
Well come on Miss Future!
I understand the way they are raised matters but what studies have shown a correlation with this and single motherhood? I’m curious, or is this just your way to maintain cognitive dissonance.
I think some single moms can't bear the thought of another male leaving her and she can't share her son's attention with another woman she feels threatened.
The blond braided girl is telling the truth in so many ways. Also the locker room talk is not the equivalent. Whites & Asian may talk a certain way in the locker but it mostly ends there. They then do not go out and produce songs and videos demonstrating how their women ain't s.h.i.t. or go make a movies celebrating a dysfunctional family. Even if they did, it's balaced by all the many positive song videos and movie that praises their women. There is a particular distain that we have for each other that manifest itself in this ugly way men talk about black women. Reasons??? That's another video!!!
Exactly and other races of men are stable before they marry their women. Ours only want to settle down once they are mentally sick, broke, old and needy.
Tiffany Gilbert so very true, they only marry to have a nurse take care of them.
The lady with the braids was 100 percent right and I agree with what you said as well.
49jubilee Hey sis, I know exactly what you mean about the love songs...I just started a playlist and I had to go way back to find the music that spoke to me-the whole Woman that I am...Marvin Gaye and Freddie Jackson are among the artists I found who speak to my heart💕
reggierisk there are plenty of blackmen making positive music but it doesnt get the attention.
whixh is by design.u can find watever music u are looking for
She made a great point,when she mentioned men being raised by single mothers...That's a big problem in the black community,and it affects us all,even when it comes to the way men and women interact with each other.
Interesting: so why do you think black men are so promiscuous??
Corey Dorsey Stop deflecting and take some accountability, dumb ass.
😂 are your women also to blame for your global economic disparity? Did you expect to fight the wars too.
@@diempardon4259 No, they're not to blame for that much. The men should be better leaders.
Yep a lasting policy of Democrats to split up the black families by alienating the father.
She's 1000% right about single mothers enabling their sons behaviour and treated them like their boyfriend. AVOID MOMMA BOYS AT ALL COST.
Cal Grier how many girls even had fathers?
Maybe this will be avoided if they decided to get married versus just laying up and having babies
Cal Grier Fathers don’t usually spoil their children like mothers do their sons.
Better stop this type of Thinking...or the next generation suffers....and the next...and the next.... and the next........
@@jawilli6 Shhhh...they dont understand that kind of logic.
She's right , a lot of black single mothers think their son is their boyfriend . They let them do anything they want !
China Gyal I see that a lot and then those mothers look at me crazy because I don't what they do. I think that shit is crazy.
China Gyal Yass, its hard to talk about an NO ONE wants to step on Mommas toes but its the truth!!
Gi Gi Sunshine So true, BUT they want us to be Good to there Boy😞
Ashli is right about everything she talked about. The other woman and host defensiveness towards the things she said is exactly what's wrong with the black community. Why is it we could never take responsibility for what goes on in our community. Black women raise daughters and cuddle their sons( single and two parents household). Who cares what men of other races talk about? The only way we can do better as one is understanding our mistakes and correct them.
I agree totally
I think that not having a father/ male figure has been detrimental to why black men do not want to get married. They have not seen a lot of successful examples and do not see the value in marrying black women, which creates a vicious circle.
I think you hear it right on the head with that 1I've I agree with you
I really enjoyed how this episode included beautiful black women with different views and backgrounds. It really showed we all think differently and respect one another even when we disagree. I wish we had shows like this when I was growing up. You are really bringing a positive perspective in the way black women are perceived. Thank you and I love y'all for that!
Shelley Sheri Here-Here sis✊🏽
Shelly, I think they showed each other respect when the disagreed because they were on TV. just saying.
Curtis Reese 2969 Have you seen love and hip hop, or any housewives show? I give credit where it's due
Yes I've seen those shows. I don't watch them as much any longer due the amount of drama. What are you giving credit to?
Shelley Sheri I was just saying the same thing earlier.
Lady with the blonde braids is way ahead of the curve. She is on point with an analysis. The rest of the panel is just not ready or open to her views. Her points are so valid. Those are the exact issues of Black males from single parent household.
Pauline Mark she also sounds very bitter, I wonder what her story is?
She's the only bitter divorcee up there, and you agree with her therefore you probably should leave marriage to the pros kid.
Any chick with manly male friends is a huge red flag to any man with a brain as far as wifing her is concerned.
Possibly because literally everything she saying can be flipped to black women
Really women in general especially now
For example In one of her early statements she says you can practically do everything right and it still isn’t enough, could that not be directly attributed to women in a relationship ?
Ain't that something, Single moms in general don't raise good young men and yet a lot of black women are so quick to say they don't need a man... somebody help me understand
Ikr hypocrisy 101
Looks like you've been waiting for an answer for this comment for a couple of years. Sorry bro, you gonna have to keep waiting.
I love the way that the host of this show listens to the women and gives them the floor. He seems like an empathetic, sweet person. I also like how the women do not interrupt each other much. This was an interesting conversation.
Would kind of be strange of a show called “asked a black woman” to have the black dude talk all show
Blonde braids is on point. My own pops/gma are this way smh
I'm not so sure about the "angry black single mom raising black boys that treat women like dirt" senario. Most black men that I know, come across, and heard their stories often say "my mom did her best, but my dad wasn't s*it". There is PERMISSION to blame the downfall of the black community solely on the black woman. This permission is given by black men who publicly complain about black women for ridiculous things such as hair, objection to getting abortions because they don't want responsibility, the request for child support, and voicing our feelings. I'm sorry, but if father's were there more often than just for holidays and to put an updated photo on Facebook so he can say"see, I take care of my kids", then rebuilding the black community could be possible. It's not all the father's fault or the mothers fault, it's both coupled with societies view of black people as a whole.
I totally agree with you . 💯
We don't blame everything on u. Only 7 percent of BM r deadbeats. We broken that stigma 2 peices. Look this stuff up. U will be surprised about our progress. Anyway that's the mom's story that they feed 2 the child. The child dose not know the whole story. A lot of times the father leaves the relationship not the child. Remember, alot of black children r born 2 keep a man or 2 get a check from the gov. Not out of love. Hair, I'm sorry but weave is a form of self hate depending on what it's tryna imataite. 4 God's sake love yourself. Killing children, mostly black Boyz. U gonna be held accountable 4 that regardless. Do even know the num. It's horrendous. Child support is unfair and not balanced, so it's fair 2 criticise it. When y'all voice your feelings there's little 2 no logic in what u say alot if times. That's the issue. Lack of logic in what u say. We just understand that BW r just as wrong as us. If u can't understand that, then o well. Peace and much love.
@@elijajackson9651 don’t have sex period !!! If you don’t want a child then don’t have sex. The women always ends up raising the shield herself , the man gets to choose whether he wants in or not .
I don't know if they were intentionally misinterpreting what the lady with blonde braids was saying, but all in all the denial is why the problem still exist. Single mom or married, the mother plays a role in how he views women. If we can teach men about car maintenance, clean rooms, play sports and how to earn money we can teach them the value of women.
ladyinwaiting yep teach them the value of women. Rather than having valuable women men are actually interested in marrying right?
I lived in a single parent household since I was a teen, and I respect Women. So not all males raised by single mothers treat Women badly.
I would love longer episodes. Love this show
At least 30 minutes.
Kluermoi,yes like an hour show,this show needs to be watched instead of love and hip hop.
Ladies take it from me never let a man get in your head or your pants without showing you the respect that you deserve with that said stay true to yourself and your values that will eliminate all the BS
This serie is powerful. Just wish these topics were discussed 10-20 years ago. It's heartbreaking to see so many black women and men suffer from absentee parents. We can just hope to keep educating ourselves and do better for the next generation to come.
The light skin chick finally did something most sistas won't do. Take ownership for the problems of the black community. To see that actually happen in a discussion gives me hope that some of them may be waking up. Regardless from that small tidbit of truth, the majority of the answers and reasoning is wrong
J, no single individual needs to take responsibility for the issues in our entire community. We all have the opportunity to look with compassion at our past in this country. We have been systematically taught to dislike and mistrust one another...those who still engage in this behavior, I feel have not yet been enlightened...And how can you pronounce the perspectives of the other panelists as Wrong? Aren't they simply different than yours?
It's not the blame game. It's a vicious cycle. Of course, single mothers can be blamed for how the kids are raised. But father's should not be absent from the home. Father's are traditionally the head of household. Men should take reign of their children and households. Raise your sons to be men. Watch where you lay your seeds.
karen horton Thank you for that comment I was gonna write something similar. But black men like to blame everything on the black women they will not accept that they are at fault as well and have contributed in messing up the black community. Black men are supposed to be leaders but rather than do that they rather run to the massa daughters begging.
J-Strokes you telling me a black woman took responsibility for something.
david thomas so are you trying to say everything in a black man life is a black women's fault. when are black men gonna take responsibility for they action. May be more brothers need to wake up and stop hiding behide the white man.(women)
A lotta women over coddle their sons. I've seen a coworker let her 16 year old son get away with dishonest shit and cover up lying to his gf. And she always says, "Mama Got You. " Letting him be out all night and her 19 year old daughter has to answer to her... "Where have you been?" And she says... It's cause he's a boy and it's different. Ok. Watch the type of man he grows up to be
Mothers treating their sons like their husbands is a deep psychological thing. That is real. Furthermore, we never mean all women. Also, we can look around us, and within the last two generations, we've seen a shift in marriage from our parents parents generation due to a lot of factors such as economics, music, prison, drugs, etc.
They looked over my girlfriend with the braids
WTF What woman doesn't wash dishes. This panel is ridiculous.
Get outta my head lol. You said what I was thinking lol.
I don't see myself getting married. But the pressure is there. I like seeing them discuss this topic.
I love the production quality on this...you guys rock..The subject is nice too!
Empathy, appreciation , love us better, I agree our love would be magnified this was a great topic
The beautiful Sistah withthe blonde hair spoke VOLUMES👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
She was able to blame the man because he was raised incorrectly by a single female not the single female raising a son incorrectly how does that make sense???
No I believe a woman is elevated when she has established herself as someone who can rely on yourself. You can't come into a marriage incomplete and not whole. You need to know fully who you are and know you're happy with yourself and the life you have . I don't think anyone should get married if they are doing it for happiness or think their husband or wife can give them a better life . Your husband or wife is just the addition to your life . That's why I think it is good that people wait until they have themselves and their life together.
Sometimes a mother has to teach her son what the proper behavior is for dealing with girls, teens, and women you have to school them on respect and value her from the moment he starts making friends and going on play dates . Young men need positive influences if you know you can't provide a positive influence look in places to build him up. To give teach him respect, trust, love, kindness, appreciation too.
Why did everyone look bitter when blonde spoke the truth 😂🤣
We need to focus on the science/spiritual/metaphysical aspect of our blackness and unify based on that because all this discussion about should've, could've, would've IS NOT getting us anywhere NOR is it raising our consciousness BOTH of which need to happen.
WE ARE STILL ASLEEP!!
Because it’s fake woke, it’s can’t literally be flipped and blown up by just changing men to women
What an awesome topic I wish I was on a panel, I was married for 23 years, I need to go watch from the beginning, thank you for this commentary
You know I was never for this marrying young thing but now I think its so beautiful. Dating for most of us is hard because people (both men and women) either want a variety or they are constantly trying to see if they can find someone who is better than the person they are currently with. I think that its awesome that you can be young and be satisfied with someone, see their value and make them your wife/husband without trying to see first what else is out there before you commit.
I wouldn't marry an American woman. I'm 60 never been married. Got offers. No thanks lm good. No not gay or dl. I love my freedom and peace. No drama
I agree with the lady in the black dress with gold outlining. If someone proposes to me thats when I show more womanly qualities. Im not just gonna date you and give you everything, every position, cook clean, spend money on you, not until you show some manly qualities.
I wish someone would ask the father's of these fatherless children why they aren't in the home. I'm sure they would blame the mother. But why were you reckless if you weren't ready for the consequences?
Promiscuity is a big problem with the men in our community. How do we get to the point where we teach our men self respect??
StrongnBeautiful | Never. It’s never a man’s fault. Women just need to do better.
@@diempardon4259 You are correct. Children do not choose their father. Women choose who will be a good father to their children. But women always choose the wrong father for their children 95 percent of the time. #FACT
Go ask the single mothers why they keep laying down with bums
do they know who the father is, that the question, or why did they choose a man that wasnt going to be there
I agree with the woman with the box braids. Two parent households matter! Period. It brings a balance to the child if the two parent relationship exhibits a solid foundation built on Godly love. J/S!
Some mothers do become a bit out cast when their sons find someone that they are truly happy with and if those mothers have a hard time accepting that then can put a strain on the on both relationships mother and s/o but when the mother is strong and allow her son to make his own choices and decisions in his relationships but also teach from a far that to me is consider a healthy mom who loves her son unconditionally
This was a great discussion. I agree with the lady with blonde braids. Some women feel that they are only elevated to a certain level if they’re married. All of the ladies made some great points 👏🏽👏🏽
Exactly. I never understood why women feel they are elevated if they get married. I think it has a lot to do with low self-worth.
Of course you would lol that’s the pointnn be of a virtue signal
Wonderful conversation ladies. I understand each women view point. They all are right in their opinions.
*"When his actions meets his words."*
Ego ?? It’s hygiene ?? Notice they mention what they said about step out or I could be angry ? Then the one that said I grew up with siblings I can’t do that ? Well I feel marriage there’s sacrifices and teamwork together but yet these particular women quickly agree that oh yes I don’t do that because this that and the third
to have that married title (wife) you become someone of value in his eyes,so important that he will be with you for the rest of his life and is showing that.
Blond braid chick is absolutely correct. I do believe that mother's allow their sons to treat the woman they are dating like trash and in my own opinion woman don't hold men accountable for their actions
I also wish i was on that panel. I love the discussions and everyone's opinions. This is a great forum.
I have dated a guy who moved out his mom house to live with me, but told me he would never stop taking care of his mom and paying her bills while he left my bills late and behind every month. So the chick with the braids is most definitely correct. Mother have to realize it's their job to take care of their son once their son get older mothers expect their son to be obligated to them..
Ashli is dead on point with the raising of men by single mothers. Some will definitely uphold their sons when they are in the wrong and mistreat other women.
I love the closing statement Sis made. Powerful and so true! God Bless you.
Gringé Thank you:)
So do black women have a standard or protocol for checking each other and upholding good black men?
ACCEPT Me as I am , I am not your mom, sister, auntie or ex girl friend, I am me and if anyone knows the struggle of the Black Man it is the Black Woman, so if you want me ACCEPT ME and everything that comes with me.
Hey mama with the braids, I know where you're coming from. I accidentally come off more masculine than I am and I get the emotions that stem from hearing all that.
What helps me sleep at night is comparing it to venting to girlfriends.
Men do it too. They don't like to call it that, but it's basically the same thing.
If they didn't actually like her they wouldn't be with her. If she was as bad as they said they would have moved on.
Separate the words from the reality and your struggle will be less real honey.
It sounds like you are really empathetic and my heart's goes out to you. It's tough feeling emotions for people that don't know you're there rooting for or against them etc.
Seriously. Take care of yourself. If you need counseling, or someone to bounce off of, do it.
A long distance cousin, internet stranger, whatever. Let the inside out so you can be rid of it and have peace eventually.
It takes practice, and practice will help in and of itself.
Hugs!
Fake hair and fake eyes talking about loving her more than we love ourselves. You don't even love you. Love the hair that God gave you , love the eyes that God gave. Then he will love you like you want.
They expect us to be real when they're fake. What hypocrisy!
Rashad Glover facts
Rashad Glover
What do esthetics have to do what she’s saying? She’s saying a person should love her. Maybe is she received that love, she wouldn’t feel the need to enhance her features in such a manner?
I think a women can be murdered in cold blood and you dudes would just be like “she wasn’t a real person anyway, the autopsy shows she had weave and makeup, so who cares about anything else!”
Agatha jay | I found the pick me.
Where do women get the Idea that Men are supposed to Save them? That's totally opposite of Scripture. A woman was added to Adam to Build a Life and fulfill his duties to God.
Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
1 Corinthians 11:8-9 Man was not made from woman, but woman was made from man. And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.
Proverbs 31:12 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
They should have women in their 40's
Kwintessential2
For what? By then, they're way past their expiration date
There's no reason for a man to be married in America (babylon)
I agree with 5:45. I think that is a huge problem. If someone is experiencing hardship, is angry or hurt and it will/has affected our children.
Yes Black Women protect their sons, because they are the ones who knows women's tricks, and she has also used it on his father and his life is miserable now, probably ran away or probably in jail because he was trying to meetup with her standards and complains, which she doesn't obviously want that for her son. Why did the father leave in the first place? the easy answer to jump to is that he was probably because he is stupid, lazy, good for nothing. Hey, i accept, but what goes around comes around. Women can't have it in both ways. With Baby mamas everywhere that's just one of the consequences on the society. it is natural for parents to protect there children. she is a black woman and she knows what a black woman is capable of. She will fight back because the society does not allow Black men to react or speak about domestic violent against them, and trust me Black women knows this. She will even say it to a Black man's face, ''you know, they will listen to me not you'', which is the truth. Don't forget, you are strong black women, they will fight back with their strength as well.
Life is a web or is like a system. Being an independent woman comes with consequences as well, and if the consequences comes, black women still turn around and blame Black men as well. You can't eat you cake and have it.
9:28 I know no one who will love someone else more than themselves.
Men will save you? Why did they tell you that lie!! Save yourself; is what I was taught and what I taught mine! He's there to add, create, build and support each other! Yes partnership! No it doesn't take them longer they wait for that non black woman who acts and is the opposite of the black woman! That's my feelings in my mind!
I was never told a man would look after me. My mom told me from a young age yo make my own money...be independent. Whe I was married we worked together to buy a home etc. The problem was he was a womanizer so I had enough and it ended.
Babies are created by 2 people. During a pregnancy there could be some complications. The problem today is how women think. A feminist attitude. It's out of order. A man is supposed to provide, protect and pursue. When you step into the role of a man, you are not obeying God's word. That's why black families are falling apart.
The one in the blue is pretty bias “black women always make your feel appreciated?” Where ?
I like the sister who owned it,
She said, "I'm entitled" yes, i get angry.
I got more to be angry about. lol.
You gonna get angry thats part of life. God him self get angry.
Usually women who don’t have anything tend to get married but women who have their own thing don’t 🤔
I hope that alot of females between the ages of 28 -32 aren't going to run out and get married because society says they should be married by that age.
Every woman is not created to be WIFE material just like every man is not created to be a husband so when we try to fit Into some role that's not for us it can be toxic some people choose to take on other roles if marriage is not for you then go your own way
Empathy is key!
It’s true!!! They do raise the men(their sons) as their own husbands, “As long as you respect and serve me idc how you treat those girls out there.” This is popular among single black mother raising boys
Y'all are talking about single mothers but I've seen the same thing from two parent households. Mothers raise daughters and coddle sons. Period! A lot of men who grew up with fathers still expect women to coddle them like their mothers. Don't act like it's some function of just being a single mom. I went to church with a boy and his parents were married and his mother was psychotically obsessed with him and acted like every girl that looked at him was some kind of threat. He wanted to go to school out of state just to get away from his mother and his dad was right there in the house too.
I am single and come from a dysfunctional family even though my parents were not divorced they still could not get along, I am a born again Christian and the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 5:25 "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church" meaning Jesus laid down His life for His Bride the Church,; loving his wife as Jesus did it means loving her from a point of sacrifice to the point of dying to self and loving unconditionally. It does not mean she gets whatever she wants but what is best for both of you.Sadly many people of either sex would misconstrue this and use for their own selfish ends.
Common law aint no marriage 😏
Leah James
In some jurisdictions, it is marriage. And the man is at risk to lose 1/2
Maybe to you but the government surely recognizes it. Predictable though for a woman to think the wedding/ceremony is more valid than the legal aspect. Gotta love materialism.
My mother was a single Parent and she raised my
Brother to respect women.
He has been married for
20 years and has never
Cheated on Shirley!.
I want a nationally televised show!!!
a woman who is 35 and not married is like a man who is 35 without a job/career...society considers both losers...
One of the best videos I’ve ever come across on UA-cam...loved the discussion
Thank you MN for the platform for varied discourse. Some men prefer to save entities that lack ambition, have no sense of identity, and are disempowered.
Yeah, I usually don't date men who haven't had strong male influences in their life to avoid those type of issues .....it's important to date with intention and get to know your partners patterns with their parents before thinking about getting serious
I absolutely disagree on the dishes part. I am convinced that as a man if you let your woman tell you to wash dishes or do laundry etc you diminish the respect she has for you. She will stay with you by logic not by emotions. If my woman doesnt want to deal with manual tasks we have to get outside help. A cleaning lady or a nanny. I will not stop chasing money to wash dishes. Thats when the disrespect begins. To each their roles.
It's equally the same with a man..if a woman let's her man tell her to wash the dishes or do any other task, she diminishes the respect he has for her.
I am a single parent of a little boy and I raise my son to have genuine love and respect for all women and human beings. My son is only 8 years old and has been holding doors for women, complimenting women in a respectful way as to say you look very nice, or your hair is nice. My son loves to go to grandmas house to help her with chores and spend quality time. My son is always asking if we are ok and constantly checking up on people that is his nature because that is what I do. My son always says how he wants to always protect women and protect people because their are a lot of bad people and things happening in this world that he sees through Tv or out in the world. As a single parent raising a son it is my job to always show my child the right way to do things and to always take full accountability for all of the wrong things that he may do in life. I’m proud of the young gentlemen, good hearted male child that I am raising and thank God everyday for his guidance and good impressions I am rubbing off to my son. Also my son knows God and that is very important. I teach him empathy, self love, self worth, and love and respect for all. I don’t raise my son as my husband that’s just wrong on so many levels lol but I do raise him to prepare him to be a king for whichever queen he may encounter and share joy and happiness. I do agree that their are some single parents that drops the ball when raising a son and not teaching them how to love and respect properly. My son is very thoughtful of others and very giving and I try to teach him that it’s ok to cry and have weak moments but it’s also ok to be strong and always do the right thing and manage his emotions through positive outlets. I also try to prepare him for the world and road ahead and all I can do his hope that he follows through in his adult life and if he was to ever get out of line with a woman which I doubt it , I will be on his ass about it because I don’t tolerate nor do I play that.
My baby girl is Brittany. Brittany - raise strong black boys who lead strong black families. Sounds like your family & in-laws are good examples so far.💕
Sorry to bust your bubble ladies this black man was raised by a single mother had the opposite effect show me how to love a black woman
Rj jack Thank you. Not everyone is the same nor have the same experiences. I know black men who were raised by single moms and are respectful.
Awesome RJ! Now go forth and enlighten your male counterparts. :)
Correction. None of these women make sense. How can you say marriage is not the foundation of a woman's life yet you're married?
When you “watch ask a black” vs “ask a black women”, the ask a black women cast sounds so hurt and frustrated. I watched about 5 of these videos and you’d swear black men are thee most horrible beings on the face of the earth. It’s like, if you have to go through so much, just to maintain a black man, or attract a “good one”, why even settle for one? The ask a black man cast is more to do with how to approach, how to make it last, how to maintain your relationship for the long run. I didn’t hear the bashing of black women like these black women bash black men or make it seem like we’re a lost cause.
rob mac
If they are making it seem like a lost cause, they wouldn’t even discuss black men.
Ashli...I get your point! Bitter women sometimes raise these jacked up men to be their husbands, rather their companion. But bitter women also do it to their daughters too...raise them to be their companion. But the problem of these mothers undermine their son's relationships, really shows in how bad that son treats his woman. The mother has undermined him and his relationships and manipulates him for her benefit and the payoff is his annihilation of black women.
I always say respect goes both ways. Blackwomen have dogged me for speaking proper and being a nerd, not having a certain car or any other reason. I still kept trying. I just so happen to find a BW as a BM who was a nerd also and we have been together a long time. So empathy goes both ways!
Peace to all the Kings and Queens of the earth. I have watched when the men speak and when the women speak during these interviews. (Deep breath) I have noticed more perception and hurt emotions then honesty during the women's sessions and more democratic and reasonable responses from the Men's sessions. Nevertheless, both Men and Women get it real wrong. One common complaint is that one person goes all out and loves hard, while the other party destroys the relationship. Both Men and Women get hurt by damaged partners who aren't ready to love or be loved in a healthy manner. I hate that we continue to distort the narrative by playing the age old blame game ( His fault/Her fault). That's B.S. yet we continue to spread propaganda claiming that Black Men/Women don't have their shit together. The family dynamic is broken and so is the dynamic between men and women. We need examples, role models displaying real life application of how to demonstrate black love. We need Love models in our lives to correct miseducated and toxic thinking. Dam, something has got to give. We can't keep tearing each other down and pretend this is healing. This shit hurts us and continues the cycle. I hope we start focusing on teaching, affirming, uplifting, speaking life into each other, and building up our families. Stronger, better, wiser, healthier, and more loving. My hope is that our experience of the black family/black love dynamic begins to produce good fruit, healthy examples, loving examples, thriving examples of love.
Thank you for sharing your, real, honest opinions on this subject! This was life. This was deep. I’ve chills listening to you ladies speak. We have struggles as well. We have ppl telling us no more than yes, we are being undermined at our respective places of work even when we are the head. We have to live up to this so called societal beauty standards which tell us everyday we are the least desirable group of women amongst the dating poll, yet, every other woman of another race thrive to look like us by gettin lip injections, butt implants etc. However, when they do it’s attractive. When we show up naturally this way we are ‘monkeys, too dark, unattractive etc., so black men show us some empathy because likewise we can have it hard. So sometimes if the woman comes home and wants to vent, let her have it. Say, baby, ‘I get it.’ Help her curse out few folks from the job at home. Be on her team because how is she supposed to understand anyone’s pain when hers is being dismissed?
I think this conversation needs to happen frequently in our households with our brothers, fathers, uncles etc., because this lack of empathy for the woman is learned behaviors taught from home. I noticed this pattern in my own family. For one, I went to college. I hold it down more than any of the men in my family including my own father. However, there seem to be this feeling of ‘get over it’ whenever I complained about work or want to talk about something bothers me. I can work a twelve to eighteen hours shift only to come home to a messy bathroom; hair all over the sink, dirty dishes put there by my younger bro whom may be visitin from college. Sometimes I have no idea how to deal with it. That’s where the anger may sometimes come from. He helps when I asked. However, it would be helpful if he had empathy in the back of his mind to think ‘my sister work hard.’ Let me do things around the house to help make her life a lot easier’ rather than me havin to ask almost all the time
Frankly, I blame my mother somewhat for this behavior because growin up he was always ‘her’ baby, however, that’s another topic
Yet, those same men are such cry babies. Come see the men in my fam become stressed over the smallest things like: snow on their cars, gettin a forty dollars ticket or worse their cars got towed. All hell broke thru when these happen, than again, I’m never allow to express myself during moments of frustration because somehow the perception is ‘that’s what women do’. It’s interesting how reversed our roles have become today
Empathy. Empathy.’ ‘Love us better than you love yourself’. Also, understand our desire for success because many of us grew up with little. We want to get pass living with ‘just enough’ because it’s hard. We also want our children to experience better than we did. This explains why the black woman is motivated. She wants better for herself including her offsprings so cut us a slack because we can have it hard as well. Let’s do this ‘thang’ together if we are gonna get there as one or any quicker
I’ve heard this over and over about being raised in a single family household…I was raised in one but taught to respect women by all of the women in my family…. And I was also taught to be able to take care of myself and not to depend on a woman too…. I can cook, clean, take care of the laundry and everything else by myself…And I’m definitely not a mama’s boy!!!😂😂😂👍🏾
Last year my white friend got married to her 23 year old black boyfriend (out of his own free will) and to be honest i'm still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing cause i''m used to seeing black women having to drag their 35 year old plus black boyfriends down the isle.
Jay Evans Omg I'm also 24. Man i'm just trying to get my law degree. I also wanna have kids though but in my 30s though. Its so hard to find even a decent guy these days and even these "nice guys" always turn out to be nothing but trash. And is it just me or does it seem like its getting harder to keep a man? Its like they're never satisfied. Women are out here accepting cheating and agreeing to weird shit like threesomes, open relationships etc. It scares me to date nowadays.
You should probably just cut off all ties with your ex if you are serious about getting into a serious relationship with someone new, especially since your goal right now is marriage and kids. Ah man my mom had me at 39 so i'm hoping I also have long-lasting eggs lol. Besides the fact that I want to have a career cause i'm a very ambitious person, I want kids later in life because kids are a huuuuge responsibility and being a parent requires tons of sacrifies. My mom and I are really close and I think that's cause she was a teacher so we had to spend a lot of time together when I was younger cause she was there after school and when I was on holiday, she was on holiday too. I think being so close with her saved me from a lot of problems. She has always been the main influence in my life and i'm glad about that cause friends can be a very bad influence. I want to have kids when I'm at a comfortable stage in my career when I don't have to work like a slave and knock off at 10pm in an effort to impress my boss cause I also want to be the main influence in my kids' lives. I'd really hate to be one of those parents who don't really know their kids.
@Brown Moscato white doesn't mean valuable
Maybe it's because alot of females are jokers, if a guy can't see a future with you why would he silly enough to get married to you?
Omphile Moerane | 39? Damn did she care about risks or complications at all? I’m curious to know as well did she plan on being 50 running after 10 year olds?
the way men think of women is not in a respectful way but really has been a problem for a long time,though has gotten worse. music,media has helped make it worse as well.
I agree with you, Kluermoi. The episodes need to be longer.
Second woman gave her answer to the question and immediately the one in the black dress said she disagrees. Bitch, the woman gave her answer/opinion, it wasn’t something you needed to disagree on. I can tell she’s someone that loves to debate
The one with the blond hair is on point! The panel is not ready
Dreadlock's lady pain from her divorce is so evident in the way she speaks.
kk nyame exactly! She couldn’t hold her composure. I wonder what happened to her. Single mothers raising their sons like their boyfriends is a bunch of bull, when there’s no male figure in the household, the older male child assumes the role by default
Gail123
That’s not fair to the child. Why should they take on all that pressure?
Yes yes yes to the woman in the braids! DC, MD and VA are full of that, so awful.
It depends on the man. I got married two weeks before my 22nd b-day and have been happily married for 22 years.
S Easter Praise God!
Love them more than you love yourself? Mmm nope!
Not all single black women raised there son's wrong. I raised my son to have ambition and to respect women, all ppl with respect. Don't fault all the Mother's. Some of us raises our young men right. Some of this interview was B.S.
My son is not now or will ever be my boyfriend, thats just creepy.😣
This was fire, the lady with the braids was on point! Mothers act like their sons are their Husbands, I would call them a mommas boy! She doesnt want her son to love another women more then her!! This is getting out of of hand Mothers let your grown sons grow up!!
And fathers don’t ? Daddy’s girls don’t ? The guile of unaccomplished Self entitlement that comes from that is that not problematic?
What Nae said at the end is very illogical.. Kudos to Jaleesa who understands compromise.