ESFP vs INTJ with
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- Опубліковано 8 лют 2025
- #intj #esfp #mbti
Hanging out with Aimee Y talking about what it's like being an ESFP and INTJ! Aimee and I chat about what it's like being an ESFP female and INTJ female. We talk about cognitive functions, loops, inferior, and development.
Check out Aimee's channel for more typology MBTI content! / aimeeyamanaka
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Yay! This was the most genuine, unplanned conversation ever and I love it. 😂
I had SO much fun chatting with you Aimee!
Lots of good back and forth here. Alexis was amazing as always. I also feel like Aimee is showing a lot of leadership qualities.
Aimee's confidence is extremely charismatic.
I'm glad this is being discussed.
I myself often wonder:
How many female INTJs are misdiagnosed because others convince them otherwise or because they are so heavily socialized to reject their core, individual reality?
This is lovely. I'm an intj and It reminds me of my esfp friends (and husband) and the way we vibe and can talk from subject to subject. I felt too the respect. These two types seem to hold a respect for each other. An understanding, but also a kind of awe at how the other uses their weaker functions with such skill. It's like we want the other person's approval to a degree.
Literally spot on to how I always viewed it as an esfp!
Y'all both are so relatable. One word: exceptional! Thank you, ladies. You give my Fi good vibes to know I'm not alone in the world in the way in which I think and view things. :)
Thank you Nichole!!
I enjoyed this video so much! I thought I was an INTJ for the longest but finally realized that I was more Se than Te. Next I assumed that I was an ISFP but something about being Fi dominant just didn’t resonate. I’m finally content with being an ESFP. It was cool to see that Aimee has had a similar journey of self discovery as me. There were so many things that she said that resonated with me! Thank you for sharing!
I love watching interviews about MBTI. The more I learn the more I realize that these functions can always be debated. This journey has helped me to always re evaluate my functions and thought process to improve and understand myself and others! 😊👍🏻
I enjoyed the interaction between you two ladies. You are both respectful, knowledgeable and very interesting. Thank you for doing this.
Thank you!!
Alexis you are really good at listening and that's a good skill for interviews.
The audience/customer is always right they say. So I think the compromises you are making to grow, makes sense to me.
Keep up the good work!
Thank you!!
ESFP SeFiFiNiNiTeTeSe Consume Sleep Blast Play loooooooooved this a lot. I’m really interested in general in folks who share our function stack in a different order. I think I need to hear more INTJ weaknesses, you seem flawless I think you’re like Gods but also I see your weaknesses so obviously but like I don’t believe they are real.
I think finding your perceiving/judging functions (the way you present it in all your videos)has really helped me. Ex: Te/Fi Ti/Fe Ne/Si Ni/Se and then break them down with the difference between Ne/Ni, etc… that’s how I want to address it.
Break it down without bringing the MBTI personality 4 letter typing that can be really limiting.
So, when I research I drop the identity of what I “typed” as.
That's a great insight!
@@AlexisKingsley Thank you 🙏🏻 I have a UA-cam channel right now. I did a series of video because my feed kept cutting out. I was introducing myself to UA-cam and answered questions for TypeCast Hero’s so they can type me. I got great insight from them. Feel free to watch the unedited videos if you want some entertainment lol 😂
This was honestly such a great conversation and I don't say this lightly
Hey thanks!!
This was entertaining! I think there is still a lack of research on INTJ females... since most INTJs are male. Even in media, male "mastermind" archetypes are way more represented and accepted by society :/ I hope this changes in the future
Totally agree! And thinker women have to do so much blending in my opinion in order to fit in with other women. (Same goes for feeler men)
@@AlexisKingsley YES FACTS. EVERYONE MOSTLY SEES WOMEN AS FEELERS AND MEN AS THINKERS. THIS HAS TO CHANGE
There's no evidence that most INTJs are male, because we have no valid measurement or statistics at all. I would also argue there's no reason, because NTs are the most uncommon and SFs are the most common in females and males, just look at the majority in history or currently and you won't find anywhere near being mostly thinkers. You are right though, they are more represented and accepted in media!
@@AlexisKingsley feeler men fit in fine because they are defensibly the most common, just the masculine negative/disageeable variant. Thinker women don't get along or blend with men either.
@@xkenny-personalitydatabase5604 From personal experience, I've found it much easier to talk about things I'd like to talk about in male circles - which I've historically attributed to there being more thinker males than thinker females. However it could be that women who use Fe are socially encouraged to use it differently than men with Fe are.
Alexis looks so much like me! I think that is awesome and a bit scary. But I need practicing on talking with people like in this video. Like she said we INTJ's have a delay and when is virtual it gets harder for me hehehe Btw I love you two
And that's why I said Aimee talk too fast for an INTJ. Because of that delay INTJ's have. I know that doesn't mean so much. I didn't express myself right.
Thanks Gabee! Ya ESPECIALLY when virtual!! There's such a temptation to drift off into ideas..
@@AlexisKingsley Yeah! I wish my english was better to talk with you guys XD
I'm an INTJ, but I'm more of the creative and harmonizing version of the type. Too creative and artistic to enjoy minimalism. Minimalistic places come across as cold, uncomfortable, unharmonious wastes of space. I enjoy making things and learning sometimes just for the sake of satisfying my curiosity. I don't always need it to further a goal or plan.
But, the more stereotypically analytical, goal driven version of the type comes out of me when something needs to be done and it seems like I'm the only one available to do it, or when I realize that something that I've really wanted to do for a long time isn't going to be possible unless I make a long-term plan towards it.
Sometimes, even when I am doing something creative, I do the creative thing in a systematic way. For example, when I paint, I decide what I'm going to paint, what materials I need and if I will need to buy any more supplies before I even start painting. Sometimes, I'll even research the subject of the painting to make sure I understand it well enough to render it into a piece of art. I don't just paint a flower on the spur of the moment, for example, I'll think about what species of flower I think will work best for the painting that I'm trying to create, then will look up photos, drawings and paintings of that species of flower. I won't copy the art that I look up, but I'll use the images to help me decide if I'm sure that I want that species. Sometimes, I change my mind and realize that maybe a daisy mum will work better for what I want the painting to look like than the tulip I initially thought of. Then, I'll decide what color of daisy mum I want to paint and make sure that I have the right colors of paints to do it. I'll consider where I'm going to hang the painting and how it will have to attach to the wall to help me decide which sort of base to paint the flower on - canvas, wood, slate, etc. I'm being creative. I'm painting the flower because I feel like the space would look prettier with a flower painting in it, but I'll go about making the painting happen in an INTJ sort of way. I'll even consider the pros and cons of taking a photo of a flower and hanging that or putting a vase on a little table with flowers in it instead of painting one.
I understand what Alexis means about kinda wishing that I was more polished or impressive looking to people, or that I could be more outgoing and have an easier time 'selling' my idea to people. I can't stand having to do interviews or sales pitches, especially when I have to talk to people in person. It's so stressful. All the superficial, ritualized things that people do and expect others to do get in the way of the actual ideas that I'm trying to express. I have a really hard time with all of that. It's so hard to try to make myself look or act 'normal' so that people will buy into my ideas.
It's especially hard since I'm high functioning autistic which makes it even harder for me to act the way people expect me to. Women do get treated differently in some situations. I've seen it and it is really unfortunate. So do neurodivergent people. We are treated like we are weirdos, crazy, or something. Like we need to be 'fixed' and 'helped' to be like a 'normal' person. I feel like I have to work so hard at appearing acceptable to others that it uses up a lot of my already limited energy. It's partly why I spend as little time in public as I can.
I've heard that what your real type is actually what thoughts and actions help you to feel more at peace, relaxed, natural vs what makes you feel stressed, upset, feels forced etc. Also, the motivation behind what you do has a lot to do with what your actual type is. Two people might do the exact same thing, but have a totally different motivation behind it. Like two people might donate to a charity. Person A might donate to reduce how much they have to report at the end of the year at tax time while person B might donate to try to help the charity succeed. Or person A might donate anonymously and never say anything about doing it while person B might take a selfie at the kettle when they drop the money in, or they'll be a politician who is hoping that people know they donate to these charities, so they'll get more votes. That sort of thing.
It's so funny or odd how often people are attracted to someone of an opposite type. I'm a INTJ-H or a 5W4 but my wife is likely an ESFJ which isn't exactly my opposite but is quite different from me. Funny how that happens.
Good advice there to try to incorporate and pay a little more attention to your weak spots. Don't try to force your weakest function to become a strong function, but just consciously try to exercise it a little now and then. Like exercising physically, you are supposed to try to do different exercises so that you work every muscle and to especially make sure to exercise your weakest muscles so that they get a little stronger.
I can relate to Aimee’s issues here.
as an intj here, it TOTALLY REASSURES me that you alexis, also, need processing time - like with jokes and such.
51:09 I love this part
Did Aimee grow up in a Ti/Te heavy household? I've seen a pattern of Feelers who grew up around a lot of Thinkers tending to manifest as Thinkers themselves (and vice versa).
14:00-14:44 I didn't understand at all lol. I think I might be an entj (based on other evidence) but I still am not 100% sure if Fi is really the lowest on my function stack, mostly because I enjoy listening to music a fair amount and sometimes write songs. It's possible though that when I listen to one of my favorite songs, I enjoy it because of good songwriting (which makes me happy because I often subconsciously predict what chord will come next a split second before, and I will get my predictions right if the song follows a logical flow) and not the emotions that the song invokes in me? 🤔
That's bull about INTJs not caring about their looks
Please do a video on how to incorporate the Inferior functions instead of developing it!!
Great conversation, thank you a lot! On a side note - do you perhaps know what enneagram type Aimeee is?
I do despicable things cuz of my inferior Se
😂
14:17 soooo relatable to me
That Te-Fi is really interesting in a debate 😂
@@AlexisKingsley it's like we were feelers when it happens XD