"How I act as a person directly reflects who she chose as a partner" I love that quote! I'm Chinese and my boyfriend is Filipino, but we both were born and raised in Australia, so we have a three cultures to integrate into our relationship. We haven't faced too much opposition yet, but we are anticipating issues arising in the future, him more than me, so thanks for being so honest about everything and for encouraging everyone to be loving and compassionate even in the face of hatred.
Loved this video. I can relate to this a lot (being Vietnamese and having an American significant other)! Over 5 years in and it's a working process with my family. A slow progress, but it's happening!
It's really great to hear Ben saying that he really tried to adapt to your culture. I was in an interracial relationship for the last two years, but we had a lot of issues on my Asian background and what was "expected" of him by my parents. He got very defensive (which I totally get), but that really hindered him to get close to my family.
I'm Japanese, and my husband is white. It was so great to hear about problems and triumphs from another bi-racial couple. It also brought to light some problems we've been having and the possible roots we've never considered. Thank you for posting this!!!
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I wanted to cry the whole time! The love is real right there! I think it's beautiful that your relationship is based on honest conversations, compassion and understanding as a way to aknowledge your cultural backgrounds and identity.
"It's important to respect their beliefs, their opinion, their likes because that's why they are the person that you're attracted to." Words of wisdom.
I’m Japanese and my bf is American of Swedish and Czechoslovakian descent. We’re now on an international long-term relationship. I appreciate this kind of video so much! Thank you Ben and Jen for sharing your experience.
Your relationship with your partner looks so precious. Seeing it brought tears to my eyes, especially the part regarding your parents fully accepting your partner as a member of their family.
there's no way to fully express how much i love you two and this video's discussion. a true representation of what makes humanity beautiful is learning how to love people for who they are and never diminishing the human soul to such shallow judgments. thank you for talking about this topic so gracefully and so well-versed as well.
My parents are immigrants from China and my boyfriend's parents are immigrants from Poland but we were both born and raised in Canada. When we first started dating (over 3 years ago), it killed me knowing that they wanted him to be with a Polish girl... or someone white. I didn't know how to act around them but felt like I needed to defend myself... but in turn, I closed off and just wasn't myself. It made me question my relationship completely but I knew he was special so I had to stay strong. Since then, I've been "killing them with kindness" and hoping that they'll accept me. I'm still trying to stay strong... It really helps knowing I'm not the only one going through something like this. Thank you!❤
Kina Wong I’m dating an Indian from India and I have the same experiences as you. It’s hard not to let other people’s ignorance disturb the relationship because all this negativity feels like an attack. We just have to stay focused on our partners and our dreams. Good luck!
Gurl I feel like in your scenario your boyfriend really needs to support you in order for the relationship to last! If he could not back you up, sometime even confronting his family, you are doing too much sacrifice and and it's not worthy. But keep strong and hope the best for you❤
I applaud you for taking on this topic rather than shying away from it. I have been in several interracial relationships and I find it so refreshing to hear you speak so openly and honestly about your experience. Thank you.
Loved how you two speak so highly of each other! I’m also in an interracial relationship with my boyfriend for almost 10 years now and it’s incredible how much i can relate to you, as my vietnamese parents weren’t really fond of him at first... at first = during the 4-5 first years of our relationship. But as Ben said, my BF did a lot of effort to blend in even though he was extremely shy and didn’t speak a lot, always super respectful, learned so much about our culture (and FOOD good lord), now it’s all good and i could not be more proud of how we managed to go through this and be patient.
“We just like each other” that alone is so strong, that only to remember is the rock to make your relationship last, u both r SO AMAZING! Thanks for sharing
Y’all are such incredible inspiration. Honestly I think having the same religion makes it soo much easier to date interracially. Then it isn’t culture that draws you together, but the same faith, values, beliefs and love for God which surpasses all other barriers. Loved this!
I love that you guys don't shy about difficult subjects instead of looking at the negative aspects you look at the positive side. I love that you guys talk about things that bother you and communicating with each other. Love this episode. Thanks for sharing.
I find this is one of the most important topic to talk about. Not allot of people talk about things like this and it leaves those in an interracial relationship questioning themselves and asking themselves if they're doing the right thing and if they are making the right choice choosing each other. And they way you both explained on the topic it really gave me allot of insight on a few things. I am in an interracial relationship as well and my family does not like my boyfriend and did the same things as what Jen's family did about the whole hookup with locals thing and aside from that they also talked allot of smack about my boyfriend's color, family and culture which of course also hurt me. And hearing what Ben had to go through and what he did to get the acceptance of Jen's family gave me an insight of what my partner should do and myself. Thank you for this really nice and informative conversation. It really helped. And I wish you all the best and can't wait for more updates on the #2. Love you guys.
I'm chinese & my hubby is Canadian born English. We are raising our 2 girls with 2 different cultures and backgrounds. We are a family, 1unit & won't let anybody else negativity seperate us. Thanks for being brave discussing this topic and being so honest. Love this series. Next episode idea: discussion about interest/hobbies you both enjoy together or as individual.
I’m in an interracial relationship too at the point where things start to get serious. I was literally crying over our future (so many barriers and obstacles with interracial relationships) at bed and saw this in my feed. You guys gave me hope! And make me think how beautiful love is! Thank you for this video!
I'm so happy to hear about you raising Aria bilingually and that you're planning on exposing your children to both cultures!! I am mixed and I did not grow up bilingual and with little exposure to my asian heritage. So I faced a lot of struggles and confusion about my identity as a teenager and even now as an adult. I'm glad to see that you will be open to talk to your children about that, it is so important to keep in mind that your child will carry both cultures and will face the challenge of finding a balance. Loved the video!! It was super interesting and also very sweet. You are really such a wonderful couple ❤
I really appreciate this! I’m Filipino and my boyfriend is Caucasian. We’ve been together for 3 years but being only 19, we are still trying to figure out how to blend our cultures and how to react to other’s opinions. I love how candid and honest this video is- I really took a lot from it. Thanks for sharing your wisdom & experiences!
Hi Jen & Ben! I'm so glad ya'll are super honest and raw talking about interracial marriage and more. I just wanted to say that I grew up in Southern California 21 years of my life and now I live in West Texas due to my husbands work. I've never experienced as much racism then I have now. In California I think I was very naive and ignorant because I never even imagined the overtly racial looks I get at the grocery store or people not shaking my hand in church. Thank you for being honest and open because sometimes I wounder if I'm alone in this experience and to just know that I'm not made me feel a little better. I also love these series.
One of the fascinating things about the US is that because it’s so big, there’s so much difference in regional cultures. We had plenty of culture shock going from the Midwest to SoCal too, only partly due to race. Making friends is different! Saying hello is different! Even handshakes (KS) vs hugs (CA) being the norm was different. I can only say that my Midwest experience paled in comparison to the states I’d get when I’d visit deep into the Ozarks in Missouri with Ben’s family because I think those people have never seen an Asian person before 🤣
That's exactly what I was thinking watching the Olympics how large our country really is with athletes from California to Florida and everything in between. I know how busy you are and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your reply. Can't wait to meet Baby #2!!
I’m so blessed to have found your channel! I not only loved your tutorials for monolids, but now I super love that you guys tackled this HUGE topic! I am in an interracial relationship too! Almost 10 yrs! However I’ve been in, what I call, ‘the paper bag era’. Which is the result of having grown up in a tiny town and never really gotten out or got to know a large number of Asian people and therefore maintaining a ‘paper bag on my head’ (like putting your head in the sand) kind of mentality. I’m SO FREAKING thankful for finding the community on you tube of Asians talking about this and other racial conversations in America. My eyes and mind are opening and discovering how to think and how I want to feel about these things. I really love the heart and messages you guys represented for this particular topic so much. There’s so much aggravation and frustration one can fall into being where we are, but you guys rise up with grace and humility! 💪🏼💪🏼 So inspired by you two! 고맙습니다!
Thank you for this! I too a Korean American and my husband is white (also Irish/German). You guys are amazing and I have been a long time watcher! You actually helped to teach me how to do my eye makeup when I was so frustrated with local makeup artists not having the appropriate experience to help me out.
This is honestly such a solid, real series. With my fiance and I being an interracial couple as you and Ben are, I found this really encouraging just to know that there are other sweet people learning and growing through the experience together. Thank you, guys.
I’m Korean and my fiancé is white, and this video (and this series) is giving me all the feels. Thanks for sharing and giving real, honest examples and stories about your relationship!
Guys you are so good at this!!! The world needs more episodes of Ask Jen & Ben! I have been in interrelationships before and (in my case it was totally the wrong guys) but one of my thought at the time was that "my God it takes a lot of patience to explain everything" but now that I hear your experience, I see that it takes a lot of love and communication to make it work just like any other relationship and to a certain degree it's an added layer of complexity (relationships are hard as they are) that you had the wisdom to overcome so thank you for sharing experience. I think it creates so much more understanding, and hopefully compassion for one another.
Really loving these series Jen and Ben! I feel like you guys really reaffirmed the journey that my partner and I have been on for the last 5 years. We're in a different kind of interracial relationship whereby we're from two very different asian backgrounds. From the outside, it might not be obvious but we've definitely had to talk through our different backgrounds and explain our cultural beliefs and values that may be conflicting. It's made me appreciate my own culture a lot more and fall in love with his family and his culture (and the food!!). I think we still have some more work to do (as does every other relationship) but I'm excited to build our own culture that appreciates and adapts to both our different cultures. Thank you guys! xx
The way you both talk is so similar. You’re just adorable together ♥️ I’m in an interracial marriage too. Wish you and your little family all the best ♥️
This was beautiful! It hit home so bad. My dad did the whole ‘oh my friends have a son, do you want to meet him’ 6 years into my relationship. I cried all the way to my best friends place... they still sort of do it, I give them a piece of my mind now. Who I love is my choice!
I am completely on board with this series! I'm Mexican American and my fiance is white (French/German) and we have had some fairly similar experiences to y'all. Luckily both of our families have been extremely supportive and loving and there's never been a struggle there. Strangers outside of family and friends are the ones that tend to make those snap judgements and it can be wearing. I really encourage the Kill em with Kindess method! Grace under pressure is always the way!
Aww I almost teared up. Super inspired by how wise & kind & graceful you guys are in handling this tricky facet of the relationship. I especially love the part when Jen says, "It's not so much about standing up, but more of bending down." I thought that is so Christ-like. Kill 'em with love indeed 💕
this video is so meaningful. I've been dating my boyfriend, who is white, for almost 7 years. I can relate so well to a lot of what you're talking about in this video. thank you so much to both of you for making a video like this.
Thank you so much to both of you for being so candid and open with your lives, family, struggles and strengths. Jen, as a Korean-American, I absolutely love seeing your success and the visibility you bring to our culture, identity and frankly beauty that is not recognized to its fullest potential. I'm so glad I found your channel when I was growing up and trying to understand myself versus my peers as I grew up in a rural, un-diverse community as well. You've really helped me in so many ways and for that I thank you! Lots of love xxxx
I can’t tell you how much this means to me ❤️ I’m just glad that my own struggles in feeling different and alienated had a purpose down the line, so much greater than I could’ve ever known. Hopefully in the future we can all feel more loved, beautiful, and not alone 🤗
I am in the interracial marriage too, (korean+persian) living in LA California too. I was watching all your video and became a fan just a month ago, we had to go through our first baby a week ago. But I comfort myself watching your video and I love to see Ben involved in it recently a lot, hope we all can see in personal one day even just bumping into each other. Love you.
This sounds a lot like my relationship with my hubby. The great thing is that my hubby never turns down ANY food. He never EVER had Korean food before and when he first tried it, kimchi and everything!! I love it. As far as Korean culture for him, he tried so hard and really paid attention. His parents just assumed I was raised with American culture and not Korean. That hurt me. Like taking shoes off to them almost offended them! I’m like...” Do it!!” Not only is it clean but it’s what most of the world does!! Except for the UK. Isn’t that amazing? My hubby didn’t know much how to respect my mom as a Korean woman and grandmother to our children. My hubby is a military historian and pilot so he travels ALL over the world and loves learning about my and other cultures! I wish my in laws took interest. Ugh. They haven’t till this day tried korean food at a restaurant and I have been with my hubby for almost 17 years!! (Married for almost 14) Hubby didn’t understand racism before because I went through it all my life. Now he sees it and steps in and defends me from the idiots of those who aren’t white. It’s amazing how ppl today in 2018 are still so close minded to ppl like us who are in interracial marriages. It’s sad and it’s hard. I’m grateful that we found a husbands that are so awesome and understanding. I hope others find the same love!!
This is a great series! Please read the questions out loud. I multi task while watching UA-cam so having the questions read out loud would be helpful, thanks!
I know that everybody said that million times already, but I just wanted to thank you for being so honest while sharing your story. It’s so inspirational and encouraging to not give up on interracial relationships❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was a great video. I'm half African-American and Italian and I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. My husband is Puerto Rican and Spaniard and we have 2 sets of twins. We speak 4 languages and love it. We have come across alot of these questions from all types of people. I have 0 tolerances for ignorent people that will not open their eyes and minds for different cultures
"We just liked each other" yassss this made me so happy hearing this. That's what it comes down to in the end. I got so emotional watching this and am just so blessed for finding your channel and getting to hear your advice and listen to how you overcame struggles❤
Hi Jen. I just found your channel today. I loved this video! I am white and my husband is Guatemalan. We have been married for 14 years next month. The biggest challenge we have had is how our money is spent. Because he came from a very poor village, he sees anything besides the VERY basics as "luxury", while I am am fine with having some extra things for comfort and fun. Over the years, he has taught me to be more selective with how I spend our money and I taught him how to enjoy some "luxury" 😊. I think we are a great team. 💕
I’m Taiwanese American (first gen) married to a white guy (half Sicilian, half German/Irish). I can relate to so many things you guys are saying, especially since we met at 18/19 and are now 29/30. I cannot believe how much our society still hasn’t progressed to this day.
I never comment but I can relate since my husband and I are also an interracial couple. My husband and I came from completely different background. I’m Hmong American and my husband is Mexican/Native American. I came from a strict cultural household and my father was our clan leader. All of my older siblings all had arranged marriage to cousins-distant cousins.We all lived in a close community where anything you do or say will spread like wild fire. It was tough to be in a relationship with my husband during our younger years because our relationship was a secret(yes I know it wasn’t the right thing to do but I had to because I knew the consequences of dating outside my nationality). I remember introducing them to my boyfriend(now husband) for the first time and everything went down the hill. I recalled being told by elders that my parent wasn’t good parents, that they didn’t raised me right and I’m a disgrace to my culture, community and my ancestor. When I made the choice to move out due to a series of difficult circumstances, I was shunned by everyone. My parent, older sibling and cousins stopped communicating with me. It was as if I fell off the face of the earth... it was a hard, dark time for me, But the real question is, do I regret it and would I do it again. The answer is no, I do not regret what I did and Yes I was shunned/abandoned by my family/clan and no one spoke to me. But if I could do it over again, I would without hesitation. The hardship that my husband and I endure made us closer than ever. God bless everyone❤️
Hi Jen, this is the first time commenting on any video on youtube. I'm Korean-Canadian (born in Korea), and my husband is Canadian (caucasian). I'm loving how you and Ben answered all the questions so eloquently yet concisely and honestly. We've been together for almost 4 and a half years and married for 7 months, and I feel like you guys are a great role model for us :) Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hi Jen. being Korean and having a Korean mom, I definitely understand all of the stuff you went through. I still get asked to set me up with Korean guys I'm not interested in! This video helps so much more than you know, and I cannot thank you and Ben enough for being so open in this video.
This series is so so so amazing. I am chinese and my boyfriend is indian. My Mom isn't happy about it and I think even after 3 years of dating him, she still isn't. It's definitely really tough. Thank you for providing insight about how you guys handled this topic. I really appreciate it. :D
Being in the exact same type of interracial relationship as you guys, Korean and white, I was SO SO looking forward to this video and your responses just exceeded my anticipations. Thank you so much for speaking about your experiences. I really was waiting to hear about how Jen, your parents might have started warming up to Ben, so thank you for covering that. Koreans are really homogenous people and I know my generation is changing that up a lot, especially in densely populated cities like LA and NY, but yeah, Korean parents (reasonable) have a lot to consider.
My boyfriend is Norwegian and I’m Filipino and Chinese, been together with him for 10 years. I think it’s incredible of how you and your husband relate to our situation on the day to day basis. My boyfriend gets so pissed off with racism and he is like ready to fight. 😂😂
My husband is American and I am Filipino/Italian who grew up in England. The start of our relationship went better than I had hoped it would go, but as it progressed certain people started to question certain things about my culture.. one of the things was the food that Filipinos eat vs what Americans eat- i made a Filipino meal for thanksgiving for his family and there was one family member that dissed the dish and stated that it was not an American dish and it wasn’t “traditional” my husband didn’t realize how much this upset at the time but I explained to him that food was a huge part of the Filipino culture and we take pride in the food we cooked. It’s gotten a lot better with that family member since but I loved what you both said about time and effort- it does take time and a whole lot of patience. But it is worth it
I stumbled upon your channel from Nerdy Nummies and I'm so so so so glad I did because I feel like the few videos I have watched (binged) already has helped me think about my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 1/2 years, about parenting, and about life in such a different way! I have been struggling so hard because of a long distance relationship and about losing my sense of self and what I wanted in life and honestly just thank you for your honesty and for helping me think about things differently.
Thanks for sharing your video! I am also from South Korea and my boyfriend is Caucasian. I was adopted when I was an infant and my family are all Caucasian. It’s been very eye opening looking Korean on the outside, but I’m whiter than my white friends...and people assume so many things about me upon appearance. Thankfully times are changing and there and less of those experiences but I think it’s something I’ll always run into. You two are adorable! Jen you are gorgeous! Thanks for sharing your story!
As a Korean who recently married a non-Korean guy, It was interesting and very helpful to listen to your stories:) There's lots of wisdom, probably coming from your long-term, committed relationship! Thank you for the video:)
I’m in an intercultural relationship where we obviously look really different and can relate to a lot of what you said. It’s a great message you have. ❤️ People from my culture and his both cause us a lot of problems and are judgmental. I though this was a very encouraging message.
My parents were very much like that with my first white boyfriend haha. Within a couple years of dating, they would ask how my “friend” was doing and constantly remind me that there were many Korean guys to choose from. Fortunately, they are so much more open minded now, acknowledging that it’s okay to date other races
I don't usually comment on videos but I wanted to let you know how much I'm loving this series of you and Ben- hoping you don't stop making these any time soon :)
Hey Jen!! I loved this video!! It even brought tears to my eyes! I'm a Japanese descendent born and raised in Brazil. Over here we are a much more diverse population, all people are from a different background and I had never felt discrimination when dating a Brazilian "white" guy. In 2016 I moved to the US and lived there for a year a half and could understand how it is to feel different from everyone. I dated a white guy for over a year and it was really surprising and sad to see how his friends and co-workers kinda made fun of him dating, not only an asian girl but also a latin girl. Comments like I was only dating him to get a green card, about his yellow fever (which I didn't understand at the time what it meant), which kind of visa I was holding to stay in the US etc etc. I learned not to care about these kinda comments but it made me a lot more self aware of how much my skin color matters to some people when it really shouldn't. Thank you for sharing your story and congrats for this wonderful video and for your amazing family!! Aria is the cutest!!!
Ben and I were just discussing earlier today that in many other places in the world, people don’t face this type of discrimination like here in the US, but some places are also far worse too. Thank you for sharing your experience and it’s so refreshing to hear that Brazilians are more open to interracial relationships!
This is so awesome! I'm not in an interracial relationship but I am mixed and I think it's so important that you guys can blend your cultures so gracefully. Your kids are gonna be so happy growing up feeling in touch with their cultures - something I wish I had!!!!
i am a young asian girl in relationships its hard because of the things us asians expierence. so it was nice seeing this video and having someone to relate to, wish i had an older sister. love u jen!
I really am enjoying the topics you and Ben are covering. I started to watch you years ago and learned how to do eyeshadow for Asian eyes-something I never knew how to do growing up adopted in a very non-diverse area. Thanks for being so open and sharing about some real life topics we often don’t talk about.
This made me smile and want to cry. I was born in Korea but adopted when I was four months to a wonderful family in TX. I have always dated Caucasian and like u, have heard crass and horrible things. People feel like they can say anything and not realize the mark their words leave behind. Thank u for sharing!!
Loved this video. I’m Korean and my husband is polish/Irish. It was difficult in beginning with his parents for me and after 14yrs it’s still not 100% comfortable. I will never forget the time his dad “joked” (I’m adopted) and said “maybe get your dna checked before getting married because I was in the Vietnam war.” On so many levels that comment was not funny or acceptable yet nobody said anything while I sat there in shock. I’ve had to learn to just ignore. Also we had someone think I was on a K1 visa like the show 90 day fiancé and the guy asked my husband how he got me over here 🙄
Love getting to know you both as a couple. I'm also from Korea (I'm Australian) and my husband is white. His mum was always very nice to me but my parents made it clear from when I was a teenager that they would not accept a non-Korean as my boyfriend or husband. So, I'm kind of on the other side. We've been married for almost 20 years. For people out there who are in a similar situation, I know it's not easy, but your parents' reluctance comes from a place of fear of the unknown. I'm actually not close to my parents, so having to maintain a relationship with them once I got married and left home wasn't important to me, but if you're in that situation and you are sure that you want to be with this person, then go ahead and have that relationship because your parents will eventually accept it. It may take awhile, but live for you, not them. That's not being disrespectful of your parents, but they too need to understand that a son/daughter-in-law is not 'bad' or 'wrong' just because they're not of the same race. It's not a rational reason for rejecting a good person!
Its nice to hear that you had problems with family trying to set you up with other koreans just like I did. My mom immigrated from Korea and even though I'm in a relationship, my mom still tries to set me up with other koreans.
I want to say a big thanks to you guys talking about this - I am about to marry my English fiancé in 3 weeks - this series is giving me a bit of a crash course which is great. This one in particular connects with me so much. Thank you 😊
My Wife is Lao and I am primarily white ( I am many things but I’m am categorized white). She brought this video to my attention. We watched it together and it was crazy seeing how you two respond because we would look at one another and completely relate to a lot of what y’all had responded. You to keep on keeping on because y’all have shown me and I am sure my wife that we are not the only ones in this boat. I understand Lao and Korean are completely different I know we are not exactly the same as y’all but I feel we can relate a lot.
Joe McCormick .. Hi Jen and Ben! I'm the wife! And yes we related on many of the topics that were brought up. Some times the cultural differences can be hard for the both of us(mainly for our parents) but the more we stay true to ourselves and be open and willing to learn and listen because we love each other is one of the most beautiful things we can do. 💕
Your advice to choose each other as a family... It's the best thing to do especially in interracial relationships... you don't choose sides you choose "you" together! Thank you for the great advice and I hope that my husband and I will become a team as strong as yours with time!!! To be honest I never thought about what others thought when they see us together, never looked to see if anyone scoffed at us in the streets etc I just see him... I don't see color.. but if you asked him he'd say I was Asian in another life lol
Interesting to watch this video. My boyfriend of 4+ years is from China (came to the US when he was 18, the year that we met) & I am American (white from a not very diverse part of Ohio). Alot of what you were talking about is familiar to me in my relationship, so it was cool to hear your perspectives and how you discussed it! There are many cultural barriers and misunderstandings between our families, but I've found the open communication can really help.
Hi Jen! I just want to say that I have been a subscriber for a while now and of course, I love your beauty videos but lately all of your videos have really been hitting home for me. My sister is pregnant with her first child and I being a super protective sister (even though I am younger) love watching your Preggy Vlogs with her. This video is no different. I was born in Korea but I was raised in the U.S. by very traditional non-English speaking parents. I am dating a super kind, mature, and otherwise phenomenal caucasian boyfriend and my parents recognize him for those reasons BUT there are instances when the cultural differences make for stressful times. It is hard for me to convey the logic and sense behind our Korean ways sometimes other than "that's just how we have been raised and it is part of our everyday life". To others our strict and traditional parents seem harsh but they truly want the best for us and show their love in these fierce ways haha. I love them both so much and sometimes it just breaks my heart to be in the middle and try to please everyone. Not to mention we do get stares from time to time but we try and ignore it as much as we can. Seeing your video has given me hope. Your family is so beautiful and I will continue to love and support you always!
I feel the weight of being in the middle daily! But it does help you to grow into a more humble and understanding person so it’s okay for it to be a struggle. Struggles make us stronger!
I absolutely love this series and how honest you are and how you actually try to help and share your perspectives on things. Thank you so much for that. I also want to say that I think it's great that you had been together for so long before you had children. You've worked through a lot together and gotten to know each other so well that you had a really good foundation to stand on. I wish it'll be the same for me if I ever get children.
Thank you for creating such a real and heartfelt series! I really appreciate how you are using your platform to bring attention to hard to speak of topics! 😘
Thank you for talking about this, Jen and Ben! I can totally relate to the conversation you're having (I'm Korean and my partner is white). I'm really grateful for this whole series that you're doing.
Loved hearing about your experiences of being in an interracial relationship! Both my boyfriend and I were born and raised here in NJ, but I'm 100% Filipino and he's 50% Colombian (his mom is 100%), 25% Lebanese, and 25% Iraqi. We've been happily together for almost 3.5 years now. :)
Wow! ! ! I absolutely loved this upload from you two. ❤️❤️❤️ I’m Chinese-American and sometimes struggle with the thought of dating a dark-skinned guy. I was adopted and raised in West Virginia. Most anyone around me wouldn’t think twice about me dating a white guy, but dark skinned guy might be a different story which can give me apprehension at times. I really, really appreciate you for uploading such a video! Please, please, please do more with this topic!!! You guys handle the questions so gracefully. Much love. ❤️
My husband is Caucasian, and I’m korean. I can sooooo relate. It was almost therapeutic for me to watch this. Loooove these series. Keep up the good work. Can you talk about finances next?
Ben's voice is so calm and relaxing. I bet Aria sleeps fast when her daddy sings lullaby :)
"How I act as a person directly reflects who she chose as a partner" I love that quote! I'm Chinese and my boyfriend is Filipino, but we both were born and raised in Australia, so we have a three cultures to integrate into our relationship. We haven't faced too much opposition yet, but we are anticipating issues arising in the future, him more than me, so thanks for being so honest about everything and for encouraging everyone to be loving and compassionate even in the face of hatred.
Shouldn't be too bad, you are both Asians.
Is it just me or is Jen looking extra radiant today? ❤️ Loving these Q and As!
Katherine Zhu I KNOOOOOOWWWWW so crazy argh beautiful homanss
pregnancy glow!
Legit started crying when Ben was talking about going grocery shopping with your mom and her saying "This is my son". Sooooo sweet!!
Loved this video. I can relate to this a lot (being Vietnamese and having an American significant other)! Over 5 years in and it's a working process with my family. A slow progress, but it's happening!
It's really great to hear Ben saying that he really tried to adapt to your culture. I was in an interracial relationship for the last two years, but we had a lot of issues on my Asian background and what was "expected" of him by my parents. He got very defensive (which I totally get), but that really hindered him to get close to my family.
What’s your bf race?
I’m loving this series Jen !
I know everyone is writing the same type of comment, but honestly I love how refreshingly honest and real you both are. LOVE this series! ❤️
I'm Japanese, and my husband is white. It was so great to hear about problems and triumphs from another bi-racial couple. It also brought to light some problems we've been having and the possible roots we've never considered. Thank you for posting this!!!
I wanted to cry the whole time! The love is real right there! I think it's beautiful that your relationship is based on honest conversations, compassion and understanding as a way to aknowledge your cultural backgrounds and identity.
"It's important to respect their beliefs, their opinion, their likes because that's why they are the person that you're attracted to." Words of wisdom.
I’m Japanese and my bf is American of Swedish and Czechoslovakian descent. We’re now on an international long-term relationship. I appreciate this kind of video so much! Thank you Ben and Jen for sharing your experience.
Nice to watch your video about interracial relationships, I’m mix Asian and am married to a Caucasian man from Kansas.
Your relationship with your partner looks so precious. Seeing it brought tears to my eyes, especially the part regarding your parents fully accepting your partner as a member of their family.
there's no way to fully express how much i love you two and this video's discussion. a true representation of what makes humanity beautiful is learning how to love people for who they are and never diminishing the human soul to such shallow judgments. thank you for talking about this topic so gracefully and so well-versed as well.
My parents are immigrants from China and my boyfriend's parents are immigrants from Poland but we were both born and raised in Canada. When we first started dating (over 3 years ago), it killed me knowing that they wanted him to be with a Polish girl... or someone white. I didn't know how to act around them but felt like I needed to defend myself... but in turn, I closed off and just wasn't myself. It made me question my relationship completely but I knew he was special so I had to stay strong. Since then, I've been "killing them with kindness" and hoping that they'll accept me. I'm still trying to stay strong... It really helps knowing I'm not the only one going through something like this. Thank you!❤
Kina Wong I’m dating an Indian from India and I have the same experiences as you. It’s hard not to let other people’s ignorance disturb the relationship because all this negativity feels like an attack. We just have to stay focused on our partners and our dreams. Good luck!
Gurl I feel like in your scenario your boyfriend really needs to support you in order for the relationship to last! If he could not back you up, sometime even confronting his family, you are doing too much sacrifice and and it's not worthy. But keep strong and hope the best for you❤
Kina Wong how did u meet ur bf?
I applaud you for taking on this topic rather than shying away from it. I have been in several interracial relationships and I find it so refreshing to hear you speak so openly and honestly about your experience. Thank you.
I really love how Jen and Ben spoke from the heart and it was all sincere. It wasn't half assed speaking or just some random words ❤
Loved how you two speak so highly of each other! I’m also in an interracial relationship with my boyfriend for almost 10 years now and it’s incredible how much i can relate to you, as my vietnamese parents weren’t really fond of him at first... at first = during the 4-5 first years of our relationship. But as Ben said, my BF did a lot of effort to blend in even though he was extremely shy and didn’t speak a lot, always super respectful, learned so much about our culture (and FOOD good lord), now it’s all good and i could not be more proud of how we managed to go through this and be patient.
Bich-Mai VO how did u meet ur bf?
Love this!! I’m Asian and have only been in interracial relationships. It was never about skin color, it was about love/connection.
“We just like each other” that alone is so strong, that only to remember is the rock to make your relationship last, u both r SO AMAZING! Thanks for sharing
Y’all are such incredible inspiration. Honestly I think having the same religion makes it soo much easier to date interracially. Then it isn’t culture that draws you together, but the same faith, values, beliefs and love for God which surpasses all other barriers. Loved this!
I love that you guys don't shy about difficult subjects instead of looking at the negative aspects you look at the positive side. I love that you guys talk about things that bother you and communicating with each other. Love this episode. Thanks for sharing.
I find this is one of the most important topic to talk about. Not allot of people talk about things like this and it leaves those in an interracial relationship questioning themselves and asking themselves if they're doing the right thing and if they are making the right choice choosing each other. And they way you both explained on the topic it really gave me allot of insight on a few things. I am in an interracial relationship as well and my family does not like my boyfriend and did the same things as what Jen's family did about the whole hookup with locals thing and aside from that they also talked allot of smack about my boyfriend's color, family and culture which of course also hurt me. And hearing what Ben had to go through and what he did to get the acceptance of Jen's family gave me an insight of what my partner should do and myself. Thank you for this really nice and informative conversation. It really helped. And I wish you all the best and can't wait for more updates on the #2. Love you guys.
I'm chinese & my hubby is Canadian born English. We are raising our 2 girls with 2 different cultures and backgrounds. We are a family, 1unit & won't let anybody else negativity seperate us. Thanks for being brave discussing this topic and being so honest. Love this series. Next episode idea: discussion about interest/hobbies you both enjoy together or as individual.
I’m in an interracial relationship too at the point where things start to get serious. I was literally crying over our future (so many barriers and obstacles with interracial relationships) at bed and saw this in my feed. You guys gave me hope! And make me think how beautiful love is! Thank you for this video!
I'm so happy to hear about you raising Aria bilingually and that you're planning on exposing your children to both cultures!! I am mixed and I did not grow up bilingual and with little exposure to my asian heritage. So I faced a lot of struggles and confusion about my identity as a teenager and even now as an adult. I'm glad to see that you will be open to talk to your children about that, it is so important to keep in mind that your child will carry both cultures and will face the challenge of finding a balance. Loved the video!! It was super interesting and also very sweet. You are really such a wonderful couple ❤
My favorite video on your channel is ask jen and Ben cuz I feel so much closer to you both!
I really appreciate this! I’m Filipino and my boyfriend is Caucasian. We’ve been together for 3 years but being only 19, we are still trying to figure out how to blend our cultures and how to react to other’s opinions. I love how candid and honest this video is- I really took a lot from it. Thanks for sharing your wisdom & experiences!
Rose Verzosa how did u meet ur bf?
Hi Jen & Ben! I'm so glad ya'll are super honest and raw talking about interracial marriage and more. I just wanted to say that I grew up in Southern California 21 years of my life and now I live in West Texas due to my husbands work. I've never experienced as much racism then I have now. In California I think I was very naive and ignorant because I never even imagined the overtly racial looks I get at the grocery store or people not shaking my hand in church. Thank you for being honest and open because sometimes I wounder if I'm alone in this experience and to just know that I'm not made me feel a little better. I also love these series.
One of the fascinating things about the US is that because it’s so big, there’s so much difference in regional cultures. We had plenty of culture shock going from the Midwest to SoCal too, only partly due to race. Making friends is different! Saying hello is different! Even handshakes (KS) vs hugs (CA) being the norm was different. I can only say that my Midwest experience paled in comparison to the states I’d get when I’d visit deep into the Ozarks in Missouri with Ben’s family because I think those people have never seen an Asian person before 🤣
That's exactly what I was thinking watching the Olympics how large our country really is with athletes from California to Florida and everything in between. I know how busy you are and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your reply. Can't wait to meet Baby #2!!
I’m so blessed to have found your channel! I not only loved your tutorials for monolids, but now I super love that you guys tackled this HUGE topic!
I am in an interracial relationship too! Almost 10 yrs!
However I’ve been in, what I call, ‘the paper bag era’. Which is the result of having grown up in a tiny town and never really gotten out or got to know a large number of Asian people and therefore maintaining a ‘paper bag on my head’ (like putting your head in the sand) kind of mentality. I’m SO FREAKING thankful for finding the community on you tube of Asians talking about this and other racial conversations in America. My eyes and mind are opening and discovering how to think and how I want to feel about these things. I really love the heart and messages you guys represented for this particular topic so much. There’s so much aggravation and frustration one can fall into being where we are, but you guys rise up with grace and humility! 💪🏼💪🏼 So inspired by you two! 고맙습니다!
Thank you for this! I too a Korean American and my husband is white (also Irish/German). You guys are amazing and I have been a long time watcher! You actually helped to teach me how to do my eye makeup when I was so frustrated with local makeup artists not having the appropriate experience to help me out.
This is honestly such a solid, real series. With my fiance and I being an interracial couple as you and Ben are, I found this really encouraging just to know that there are other sweet people learning and growing through the experience together. Thank you, guys.
I’m Korean and my fiancé is white, and this video (and this series) is giving me all the feels. Thanks for sharing and giving real, honest examples and stories about your relationship!
Guys you are so good at this!!! The world needs more episodes of Ask Jen & Ben! I have been in interrelationships before and (in my case it was totally the wrong guys) but one of my thought at the time was that "my God it takes a lot of patience to explain everything" but now that I hear your experience, I see that it takes a lot of love and communication to make it work just like any other relationship and to a certain degree it's an added layer of complexity (relationships are hard as they are) that you had the wisdom to overcome so thank you for sharing experience. I think it creates so much more understanding, and hopefully compassion for one another.
Really loving these series Jen and Ben! I feel like you guys really reaffirmed the journey that my partner and I have been on for the last 5 years. We're in a different kind of interracial relationship whereby we're from two very different asian backgrounds. From the outside, it might not be obvious but we've definitely had to talk through our different backgrounds and explain our cultural beliefs and values that may be conflicting. It's made me appreciate my own culture a lot more and fall in love with his family and his culture (and the food!!). I think we still have some more work to do (as does every other relationship) but I'm excited to build our own culture that appreciates and adapts to both our different cultures. Thank you guys! xx
The way you both talk is so similar. You’re just adorable together ♥️ I’m in an interracial marriage too. Wish you and your little family all the best ♥️
What’s your husband ethnic background?
This was beautiful! It hit home so bad. My dad did the whole ‘oh my friends have a son, do you want to meet him’ 6 years into my relationship. I cried all the way to my best friends place... they still sort of do it, I give them a piece of my mind now. Who I love is my choice!
I am completely on board with this series! I'm Mexican American and my fiance is white (French/German) and we have had some fairly similar experiences to y'all. Luckily both of our families have been extremely supportive and loving and there's never been a struggle there. Strangers outside of family and friends are the ones that tend to make those snap judgements and it can be wearing. I really encourage the Kill em with Kindess method! Grace under pressure is always the way!
Jen is so incredibly wise. Love that she gets to show this side of herself in this new video series.
Watch this whenever I feel sad about the world. You guys are beautiful.
This is my favorite series you’ve ever done. So well done. So thoughtful and honest and insightful. Thank you.
Aww I almost teared up. Super inspired by how wise & kind & graceful you guys are in handling this tricky facet of the relationship. I especially love the part when Jen says, "It's not so much about standing up, but more of bending down." I thought that is so Christ-like. Kill 'em with love indeed 💕
this video is so meaningful. I've been dating my boyfriend, who is white, for almost 7 years. I can relate so well to a lot of what you're talking about in this video. thank you so much to both of you for making a video like this.
Thank you so much to both of you for being so candid and open with your lives, family, struggles and strengths. Jen, as a Korean-American, I absolutely love seeing your success and the visibility you bring to our culture, identity and frankly beauty that is not recognized to its fullest potential. I'm so glad I found your channel when I was growing up and trying to understand myself versus my peers as I grew up in a rural, un-diverse community as well. You've really helped me in so many ways and for that I thank you! Lots of love xxxx
I can’t tell you how much this means to me ❤️ I’m just glad that my own struggles in feeling different and alienated had a purpose down the line, so much greater than I could’ve ever known. Hopefully in the future we can all feel more loved, beautiful, and not alone 🤗
Ben is so calm and sweet! Love you guys!
your husband is so empathetic!!! it's amazing
Aria and baby #2 are so lucky to have you two as parents 😭 I love the quality and tone of these questions, they speak volumes about your subbies!
I am in the interracial marriage too, (korean+persian) living in LA California too. I was watching all your video and became a fan just a month ago, we had to go through our first baby a week ago. But I comfort myself watching your video and I love to see Ben involved in it recently a lot, hope we all can see in personal one day even just bumping into each other. Love you.
This sounds a lot like my relationship with my hubby. The great thing is that my hubby never turns down ANY food. He never EVER had Korean food before and when he first tried it, kimchi and everything!! I love it. As far as Korean culture for him, he tried so hard and really paid attention. His parents just assumed I was raised with American culture and not Korean. That hurt me. Like taking shoes off to them almost offended them! I’m like...” Do it!!” Not only is it clean but it’s what most of the world does!! Except for the UK. Isn’t that amazing? My hubby didn’t know much how to respect my mom as a Korean woman and grandmother to our children.
My hubby is a military historian and pilot so he travels ALL over the world and loves learning about my and other cultures! I wish my in laws took interest. Ugh. They haven’t till this day tried korean food at a restaurant and I have been with my hubby for almost 17 years!! (Married for almost 14) Hubby didn’t understand racism before because I went through it all my life. Now he sees it and steps in and defends me from the idiots of those who aren’t white.
It’s amazing how ppl today in 2018 are still so close minded to ppl like us who are in interracial marriages. It’s sad and it’s hard. I’m grateful that we found a husbands that are so awesome and understanding. I hope others find the same love!!
This is a great series! Please read the questions out loud. I multi task while watching UA-cam so having the questions read out loud would be helpful, thanks!
I know that everybody said that million times already, but I just wanted to thank you for being so honest while sharing your story. It’s so inspirational and encouraging to not give up on interracial relationships❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This was a great video. I'm half African-American and Italian and I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. My husband is Puerto Rican and Spaniard and we have 2 sets of twins. We speak 4 languages and love it. We have come across alot of these questions from all types of people. I have 0 tolerances for ignorent people that will not open their eyes and minds for different cultures
"We just liked each other" yassss this made me so happy hearing this. That's what it comes down to in the end. I got so emotional watching this and am just so blessed for finding your channel and getting to hear your advice and listen to how you overcame struggles❤
Hi Jen. I just found your channel today. I loved this video! I am white and my husband is Guatemalan. We have been married for 14 years next month. The biggest challenge we have had is how our money is spent. Because he came from a very poor village, he sees anything besides the VERY basics as "luxury", while I am am fine with having some extra things for comfort and fun. Over the years, he has taught me to be more selective with how I spend our money and I taught him how to enjoy some "luxury" 😊. I think we are a great team. 💕
I’m Taiwanese American (first gen) married to a white guy (half Sicilian, half German/Irish). I can relate to so many things you guys are saying, especially since we met at 18/19 and are now 29/30. I cannot believe how much our society still hasn’t progressed to this day.
I never comment but I can relate since my husband and I are also an interracial couple. My husband and I came from completely different background. I’m Hmong American and my husband is Mexican/Native American. I came from a strict cultural household and my father was our clan leader. All of my older siblings all had arranged marriage to cousins-distant cousins.We all lived in a close community where anything you do or say will spread like wild fire. It was tough to be in a relationship with my husband during our younger years because our relationship was a secret(yes I know it wasn’t the right thing to do but I had to because I knew the consequences of dating outside my nationality). I remember introducing them to my boyfriend(now husband) for the first time and everything went down the hill. I recalled being told by elders that my parent wasn’t good parents, that they didn’t raised me right and I’m a disgrace to my culture, community and my ancestor. When I made the choice to move out due to a series of difficult circumstances, I was shunned by everyone. My parent, older sibling and cousins stopped communicating with me. It was as if I fell off the face of the earth... it was a hard, dark time for me, But the real question is, do I regret it and would I do it again. The answer is no, I do not regret what I did and Yes I was shunned/abandoned by my family/clan and no one spoke to me. But if I could do it over again, I would without hesitation. The hardship that my husband and I endure made us closer than ever. God bless everyone❤️
Hi Jen, this is the first time commenting on any video on youtube. I'm Korean-Canadian (born in Korea), and my husband is Canadian (caucasian). I'm loving how you and Ben answered all the questions so eloquently yet concisely and honestly. We've been together for almost 4 and a half years and married for 7 months, and I feel like you guys are a great role model for us :) Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hi Jen. being Korean and having a Korean mom, I definitely understand all of the stuff you went through. I still get asked to set me up with Korean guys I'm not interested in! This video helps so much more than you know, and I cannot thank you and Ben enough for being so open in this video.
Loving this series so so much!!
THIS is what i want in my life in the future. i am so happy for you two and i wish you all the best!!
This series is so so so amazing. I am chinese and my boyfriend is indian. My Mom isn't happy about it and I think even after 3 years of dating him, she still isn't. It's definitely really tough. Thank you for providing insight about how you guys handled this topic. I really appreciate it. :D
Being in the exact same type of interracial relationship as you guys, Korean and white, I was SO SO looking forward to this video and your responses just exceeded my anticipations. Thank you so much for speaking about your experiences. I really was waiting to hear about how Jen, your parents might have started warming up to Ben, so thank you for covering that. Koreans are really homogenous people and I know my generation is changing that up a lot, especially in densely populated cities like LA and NY, but yeah, Korean parents (reasonable) have a lot to consider.
My boyfriend is Norwegian and I’m Filipino and Chinese, been together with him for 10 years. I think it’s incredible of how you and your husband relate to our situation on the day to day basis.
My boyfriend gets so pissed off with racism and he is like ready to fight. 😂😂
How did u meet ur bf?
My husband is American and I am Filipino/Italian who grew up in England. The start of our relationship went better than I had hoped it would go, but as it progressed certain people started to question certain things about my culture.. one of the things was the food that Filipinos eat vs what Americans eat- i made a Filipino meal for thanksgiving for his family and there was one family member that dissed the dish and stated that it was not an American dish and it wasn’t “traditional” my husband didn’t realize how much this upset at the time but I explained to him that food was a huge part of the Filipino culture and we take pride in the food we cooked. It’s gotten a lot better with that family member since but I loved what you both said about time and effort- it does take time and a whole lot of patience. But it is worth it
I stumbled upon your channel from Nerdy Nummies and I'm so so so so glad I did because I feel like the few videos I have watched (binged) already has helped me think about my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 1/2 years, about parenting, and about life in such a different way! I have been struggling so hard because of a long distance relationship and about losing my sense of self and what I wanted in life and honestly just thank you for your honesty and for helping me think about things differently.
Thanks for sharing your video! I am also from South Korea and my boyfriend is Caucasian. I was adopted when I was an infant and my family are all Caucasian. It’s been very eye opening looking Korean on the outside, but I’m whiter than my white friends...and people assume so many things about me upon appearance. Thankfully times are changing and there and less of those experiences but I think it’s something I’ll always run into. You two are adorable! Jen you are gorgeous! Thanks for sharing your story!
As a Korean who recently married a non-Korean guy, It was interesting and very helpful to listen to your stories:) There's lots of wisdom, probably coming from your long-term, committed relationship! Thank you for the video:)
I love Ben's impression of his younger self.
I’m in an intercultural relationship where we obviously look really different and can relate to a lot of what you said. It’s a great message you have. ❤️ People from my culture and his both cause us a lot of problems and are judgmental. I though this was a very encouraging message.
I'm currently in an interracial relationship and this video is so great and helpful! Much love to both of you!
Thank you Jen! I'm Japanese and my fiance's Korean and it's always great to see people talk about their relationship!
My parents were very much like that with my first white boyfriend haha. Within a couple years of dating, they would ask how my “friend” was doing and constantly remind me that there were many Korean guys to choose from. Fortunately, they are so much more open minded now, acknowledging that it’s okay to date other races
I don't usually comment on videos but I wanted to let you know how much I'm loving this series of you and Ben- hoping you don't stop making these any time soon :)
Hey Jen!! I loved this video!! It even brought tears to my eyes! I'm a Japanese descendent born and raised in Brazil. Over here we are a much more diverse population, all people are from a different background and I had never felt discrimination when dating a Brazilian "white" guy. In 2016 I moved to the US and lived there for a year a half and could understand how it is to feel different from everyone. I dated a white guy for over a year and it was really surprising and sad to see how his friends and co-workers kinda made fun of him dating, not only an asian girl but also a latin girl. Comments like I was only dating him to get a green card, about his yellow fever (which I didn't understand at the time what it meant), which kind of visa I was holding to stay in the US etc etc. I learned not to care about these kinda comments but it made me a lot more self aware of how much my skin color matters to some people when it really shouldn't. Thank you for sharing your story and congrats for this wonderful video and for your amazing family!! Aria is the cutest!!!
Ben and I were just discussing earlier today that in many other places in the world, people don’t face this type of discrimination like here in the US, but some places are also far worse too. Thank you for sharing your experience and it’s so refreshing to hear that Brazilians are more open to interracial relationships!
This is so awesome! I'm not in an interracial relationship but I am mixed and I think it's so important that you guys can blend your cultures so gracefully. Your kids are gonna be so happy growing up feeling in touch with their cultures - something I wish I had!!!!
You guys did an enormous job for all of us here. Thank you a lot for making the video and doing these series! 정말 수고했어요. :) 🧡
You two are seriously relationship goals 💜 I'm loving how raw and honest and wise these talks are for this series!
i am a young asian girl in relationships its hard because of the things us asians expierence. so it was nice seeing this video and having someone to relate to, wish i had an older sister. love u jen!
I really am enjoying the topics you and Ben are covering. I started to watch you years ago and learned how to do eyeshadow for Asian eyes-something I never knew how to do growing up adopted in a very non-diverse area. Thanks for being so open and sharing about some real life topics we often don’t talk about.
This made me smile and want to cry. I was born in Korea but adopted when I was four months to a wonderful family in TX. I have always dated Caucasian and like u, have heard crass and horrible things. People feel like they can say anything and not realize the mark their words leave behind. Thank u for sharing!!
Tracy Mickler I’m KAD as well, always she dated caucasian, married to caucasian, step kids are caucasian! I feel ya!
Loved this video. I’m Korean and my husband is polish/Irish. It was difficult in beginning with his parents for me and after 14yrs it’s still not 100% comfortable. I will never forget the time his dad “joked” (I’m adopted) and said “maybe get your dna checked before getting married because I was in the Vietnam war.” On so many levels that comment was not funny or acceptable yet nobody said anything while I sat there in shock. I’ve had to learn to just ignore. Also we had someone think I was on a K1 visa like the show 90 day fiancé and the guy asked my husband how he got me over here 🙄
Love getting to know you both as a couple. I'm also from Korea (I'm Australian) and my husband is white. His mum was always very nice to me but my parents made it clear from when I was a teenager that they would not accept a non-Korean as my boyfriend or husband. So, I'm kind of on the other side. We've been married for almost 20 years.
For people out there who are in a similar situation, I know it's not easy, but your parents' reluctance comes from a place of fear of the unknown. I'm actually not close to my parents, so having to maintain a relationship with them once I got married and left home wasn't important to me, but if you're in that situation and you are sure that you want to be with this person, then go ahead and have that relationship because your parents will eventually accept it. It may take awhile, but live for you, not them. That's not being disrespectful of your parents, but they too need to understand that a son/daughter-in-law is not 'bad' or 'wrong' just because they're not of the same race. It's not a rational reason for rejecting a good person!
Its nice to hear that you had problems with family trying to set you up with other koreans just like I did. My mom immigrated from Korea and even though I'm in a relationship, my mom still tries to set me up with other koreans.
I want to say a big thanks to you guys talking about this - I am about to marry my English fiancé in 3 weeks - this series is giving me a bit of a crash course which is great. This one in particular connects with me so much. Thank you 😊
So beautiful, gracious, kind, honest, loving and respectful
My Wife is Lao and I am primarily white ( I am many things but I’m am categorized white). She brought this video to my attention. We watched it together and it was crazy seeing how you two respond because we would look at one another and completely relate to a lot of what y’all had responded. You to keep on keeping on because y’all have shown me and I am sure my wife that we are not the only ones in this boat. I understand Lao and Korean are completely different I know we are not exactly the same as y’all but I feel we can relate a lot.
Joe McCormick .. Hi Jen and Ben! I'm the wife! And yes we related on many of the topics that were brought up. Some times the cultural differences can be hard for the both of us(mainly for our parents) but the more we stay true to ourselves and be open and willing to learn and listen because we love each other is one of the most beautiful things we can do. 💕
Quay hak chow la-lai Miya
Joe McCormick Quay hak chow cuuh ghan Puwah!
Would love for you to do a video about how your religious background and faith (Christianity) impacts your relationship! Loving these q&a :)
Your advice to choose each other as a family... It's the best thing to do especially in interracial relationships... you don't choose sides you choose "you" together! Thank you for the great advice and I hope that my husband and I will become a team as strong as yours with time!!! To be honest I never thought about what others thought when they see us together, never looked to see if anyone scoffed at us in the streets etc I just see him... I don't see color.. but if you asked him he'd say I was Asian in another life lol
I love your guys’ relationship so much. I can really see the love between you two, I think it’s really adorable. 😭❤️
Interesting to watch this video. My boyfriend of 4+ years is from China (came to the US when he was 18, the year that we met) & I am American (white from a not very diverse part of Ohio). Alot of what you were talking about is familiar to me in my relationship, so it was cool to hear your perspectives and how you discussed it! There are many cultural barriers and misunderstandings between our families, but I've found the open communication can really help.
Sarah Elizabeth how did u meet ur bf?
wait. you guys been together for 17 years????
Its so sweet they met at such a young age and are like each other's first love :)
Hi Jen! I just want to say that I have been a subscriber for a while now and of course, I love your beauty videos but lately all of your videos have really been hitting home for me. My sister is pregnant with her first child and I being a super protective sister (even though I am younger) love watching your Preggy Vlogs with her. This video is no different. I was born in Korea but I was raised in the U.S. by very traditional non-English speaking parents. I am dating a super kind, mature, and otherwise phenomenal caucasian boyfriend and my parents recognize him for those reasons BUT there are instances when the cultural differences make for stressful times. It is hard for me to convey the logic and sense behind our Korean ways sometimes other than "that's just how we have been raised and it is part of our everyday life". To others our strict and traditional parents seem harsh but they truly want the best for us and show their love in these fierce ways haha. I love them both so much and sometimes it just breaks my heart to be in the middle and try to please everyone. Not to mention we do get stares from time to time but we try and ignore it as much as we can. Seeing your video has given me hope. Your family is so beautiful and I will continue to love and support you always!
I feel the weight of being in the middle daily! But it does help you to grow into a more humble and understanding person so it’s okay for it to be a struggle. Struggles make us stronger!
I absolutely love this series and how honest you are and how you actually try to help and share your perspectives on things. Thank you so much for that. I also want to say that I think it's great that you had been together for so long before you had children. You've worked through a lot together and gotten to know each other so well that you had a really good foundation to stand on. I wish it'll be the same for me if I ever get children.
Thank you for creating such a real and heartfelt series! I really appreciate how you are using your platform to bring attention to hard to speak of topics! 😘
Thank you for talking about this, Jen and Ben! I can totally relate to the conversation you're having (I'm Korean and my partner is white). I'm really grateful for this whole series that you're doing.
lucildinska how did u meet ur husband?
I wish videos like these get more exposure on UA-cam than these paul brothers :/
Loved hearing about your experiences of being in an interracial relationship! Both my boyfriend and I were born and raised here in NJ, but I'm 100% Filipino and he's 50% Colombian (his mom is 100%), 25% Lebanese, and 25% Iraqi. We've been happily together for almost 3.5 years now. :)
Wow! ! ! I absolutely loved this upload from you two. ❤️❤️❤️ I’m Chinese-American and sometimes struggle with the thought of dating a dark-skinned guy. I was adopted and raised in West Virginia. Most anyone around me wouldn’t think twice about me dating a white guy, but dark skinned guy might be a different story which can give me apprehension at times.
I really, really appreciate you for uploading such a video! Please, please, please do more with this topic!!! You guys handle the questions so gracefully. Much love. ❤️
My husband is Caucasian, and I’m korean. I can sooooo relate. It was almost therapeutic for me to watch this. Loooove these series. Keep up the good work. Can you talk about finances next?
Carolyn Savioz how did u meet ur husband?
You two are so amazing! My hubby and I are interracial, 9 years and counting.
It's very true on blended family culture. Love your family