I've struggled greatly with this. My battle against lust started out as a battle against masturbation and pornography, but it slowly turned into an ocd battle against sexual thoughts where I am obsessively trying to not look at women with lustful intent. Needless to say ever since I've been obsessively concerned with not looking at women lustfully I now do it more then ever because its always on my mind. This obsessiveness has lead me down a dark path of constantly falling back into masturbation and pornography. Im also an illustrator and routinely study the human figuire as part of my work. Never have I been filled with such anxiety during my drawing sessions. This video has helped tremendously. Thank you Fr.
My friend, I have been in the same position of you. I'm observing St. Michael's Lent (August 15th- September 29th), and fell into the sin of self abuse in the first couple of days. I then prayed the Mary, Untier ot Knots Novevna. The nine days helped me so much as I didn't wamt to let God and Our Lady down by falling during the nine days. Since then, I am doing well. As a single man who suffers with anxiety, and has a lot of time on his hands, I have struggled but I am doing much better. I will pray for you to look up the Novena and win your battle. The fact that you are struggling shows that you have a good conscience and want to get out of this bad habit. God forgives us each time we fall and repent, and so long as you are sorry, and actively try to change, don't be so hard on yourself. God bless.
Father, this gives me so much hope & I will apply this wisdom to my life. Thank you for this ministry to us scrupulous. Scrupulosity feels like a constant trap, often sadly encouraged by myself & others who give advice, but with these new perspectives I know that I can be set free by God’s Mercy daily.
Thank you, Fr. Tom, for providing us with a comprehensive explanation of a matter that affects so many of us. I find your approach to be thoroughly logical while retaining the compassion and understanding that one hopes to find in a spiritual advisor. Thank you, and God Bless!
i’ve been dealing with scrupulosity for many years now and i’ve a hard time understanding lust. i never understood whether “looking at a woman with lust” counted as just thinking about the act with someone you were attracted to, imagining it, imagining it without imagining the sexual stimulation, imagining it while thinking about the emotional bond instead of the sexual pleasure, or otherwise. i stil don’t. i want to be able to replace and bad habits i have when i feel a strong sexual urge but i don’t want to get rid of normal thinking or “imaginations” either. what do you think Father?
Be chaste with even your attention according to your state in life, and do not entertain any fantasies you would not love be brought to the light. Make sincere efforts to understand the distortedness of lust-based behaviours. Beyond this, also focus on giving the gift of yourself and your full realized attention to Christ in the Altar; from there you will gain the strength to carry it to marriage where that be your vocation. These four points, I should think, become a seemly guideline for how to become able to discern and isolate lust. The rest of resistance from there comes down to scrupulosity, strategies, and persistence. Peace be with your spirit
@@Gruenders i’ve been told by a deacon that wanting to know the love associated with the act and imagining that part is ok to do, but obviously it probably isn’t a good idea to try if one doesn’t already have a very very very firm grasp on not lusting during temptation. since if you imagine it with good intentions, but then get tempted, then it puts you in a bad spot and we are asked to not tempt ourselves, so what’s best is to make sure you have a strong mind (for me it was by developing a habit to just turn off the imagination instinctively whenever i started imagining the pleasure) and then maybe once there is no non-controllable temptation and you won’t lead yourself into temptation, then i think imagining it would be safe when it’s not meant to stimulate a sexual desire but just to imagine a holy union between marrried partners
@@DiamondCraft2000 If you get a chance, read St. Faustina's diary! Jesus talks to her about confession, because she often felt she should confess any little thing and so avoided taking Holy Communion. Jesus tells her, "Unless you know well you have sinned, come to Me in Holy Communion. For it hurts Me more when you avoid Communing with Me than..." (I forget!) Highly recommend reading her diary, it will take you along the interior life of a saint, which will answer many of your particular questions. With the point at which the thoughts become a sin, the advice that anything you would not bring up proudly before God and everyone you love on the Earth is good.
As a woman and wife of 30 yrs, I will be honest... it hurts to see my husband staring at other women. I feel I am still attractive but not like I was... getting older is hard & there's only so much a woman can do to stay young looking ... I realize there are attractive women (& many younger women) out there everywhere and I realize my husband will notice but when he stares continously not realizing I'm watching him, it hurts me very much. I do feel like I'm being cheated on and it makes me feel inadequate like I'm not enough for him. I wonder what he's thinking when he's staring. It has really hurt our marriage because I don't trust him anymore and I've become the jealous wife I never thought I'd ever be. I trust that he'd never physically cheat with any of them but knowing he stares a little too long scares me and makes me feel very insecure. I'm not writing this in a negative light of men... I'm just trying to understand... and I know I'm not the only wife who feels this way. I'd like to understand better and maybe hear from men who are married. I apologize if this isn't the appropriate place to talk on this so I understand if it's removed.
Sexual attraction of the opposite sex is actually a blessing from God. There are very beautiful women everywhere in this world with very beautiful features. God knows this. It’s fine to be attracted to someone else but have you gone beyond that? The key word is adultery in your “heart”, which takes a willing effort to use that attractiveness to greedily please one’s own sexual desires. Have you diminished that woman in your mind to a tool to be used sexually? Simply admiring and being attracted to someone’s physical beauty is not at all lusting, otherwise virtually every single straight man on this earth, whether married or single, would be condemned to hell. You also have to remember that physical attraction comes first before marriage. That order is proper and sinless. Just focus on what you’re then doing with that attraction. Sometimes it is better to move on and leave the attraction behind, lest you fail to avoid the near occasion of sin.
I can relate, I’ve had OCD for several years and it’s made my life so hard. Fathers videos on this channel have been helpful for me, in clearing up many misconceptions I’ve made up over the years.
Take courage and remember that God is always with you, even we you feel otherwise ! Scrupulosity does go away, and you will one day be able to enjoy life like every other catholic. Seeing a therapist can be very helpful, perhaps necessary depending on the case
This was very helpful Fr. It would be great to give a talk about homosexuality, as I struggle with that. I know many gay couples that don't appear to have a lustful relationship, but I also am well aware of parts of the community that are driven by lust, which leads to a lot of trouble in their lives and yet, the Lord loves them as much as he loves me. Lust is a biggie for sure.
Have a thought that concerns something sexual is only a sin of you DELIBERATELY and CONSCIOUSLY choose to entertain that thought instead of ATTEMPTING to cast it aside in a timely manner. However, if someone does legitimately CHOOSE to willfully entertain one of these thoughts, it is normally considered a mortal sin.
@@troymazzei5976 One could hypothetically sin by realizing a lustful thought in their mind by chosen enjoyment, but for people with ocd it is far different. People with ocd cannot choose whether or not a thought remains - similar to a photographic memory, the scary thought comes and provokes intense anxiety and then the brain latches onto the thought as a perceived threat. As someone with ocd I can attest that sometimes a particular thought will not leave the mind for weeks and sometimes even several months. The key is that the person with ocd does not desire the thought be present, but any effort to push the thought away makes the thought’s perceived threat even greater. The person with ocd will often engage in a compulsion to alleviate anxiety known as testing. They will subconsciously or purposefully bring a troubling thought into their mind as a way to prove to themselves they are still disgusted of it. This attempt to prove to themselves their true nature ultimately intensifies the thought’s perceived threat as well. But, the person with ocd cannot be said to have sinned because even when they think about a said thought, they are not doing so for the purpose of enjoyment, but rather to alleviate ocd. This is the whole nature of the disorder and it is why people with ocd cannot judge themselves based on a typical examination of conscience. Actually examinations of conscience are so anxiety provoking, they typically increase ocd anxiety very strongly. The person with ocd hates the idea of the mortal sin of lust and so they try to avoid it which only makes it remain. The person with ocd can only be said to have actualized the mortal sin of lust by doing the action physically or by actual intention. Otherwise, their will is so compromised by ocd that sin in the realm of thoughts is virtually impossible. So, in conclusion, the person with ocd lacks the capability of “attempting to cast it aside in a timely manner” and cannot “choose to willfully entertain one of these thoughts”. Therefore, the person with ocd can only realize the mortal sin of lust by actually choosing to do it in real life or planning to do it by orchestrating it.
@@cardboardcapeii4286in the context of marriage it is a gift to lust your MARRIED partner the saints I think wrote about the beauty of the gift given to desire your spouse in that matter but in marriage only
I recommend to the video author and those who read this the teaching of Dallas Willard. Lookup his books and find him teaching on UA-cam and conversation Divina. He is a Protestant and I think him to be a reformer of Protestantism. One of his books, “The Divine Conspiracy” has as one of its main focus the Sermon on the Mount where similar distinctions are made about the righteousness that goes beyond that of the Scribes and Pharisees.
So, how would fantasy come into play here? King David lusted through planning and intent to act, or a willingness to act if opportunity presented itself. What if there is never real intention or desire beyond the imagination? Obviously this shouldn't be willfully engaged in and entertained, but you seem to suggest that it crosses the line into mortal sin when there is actual intention to carry out, physically, the desire?
I you got it pretty much right. Just like the sin of anger becomes grave matter when one intends to do grave harm to another human being so lust becomes a grave matter when one intends to realise it. Hence the example in the video of David and Bathsheba.
One could hypothetically sin by realizing a lustful thought in their mind by chosen enjoyment, but for people with ocd it is far different. People with ocd cannot choose whether or not a thought remains - similar to a photographic memory, the scary thought comes and provokes intense anxiety and then the brain latches onto the thought as a perceived threat. As someone with ocd I can attest that sometimes a particular thought will not leave the mind for weeks and sometimes even several months. The key is that the person with ocd does not desire the thought be present, but any effort to push the thought away makes the thought’s perceived threat even greater. The person with ocd will often engage in a compulsion to alleviate anxiety known as testing. They will subconsciously or purposefully bring a troubling thought into their mind as a way to prove to themselves they are still disgusted of it. This attempt to prove to themselves their true nature ultimately intensifies the thought’s perceived threat as well. But, the person with ocd cannot be said to have sinned because even when they think about a said thought, they are not doing so for the purpose of enjoyment, but rather to alleviate ocd. This is the whole nature of the disorder and it is why people with ocd cannot judge themselves based on a typical examination of conscience. Actually examinations of conscience are so anxiety provoking, they typically increase ocd anxiety very strongly. The person with ocd hates the idea of the mortal sin of lust and so they try to avoid it which only makes it remain. The person with ocd can only be said to have actualized the mortal sin of lust by doing the action physically or by actual intention. Otherwise, their will is so compromised by ocd that sin in the realm of thoughts is virtually impossible.
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts. The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her. In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
@@lifematterspodcastpeople with ocd fixate on the sin instead of how God intended it to be, and that's the problem, but that doesn't change the fact that lust is in percieving others as objects of one's sexual desires. Evil is an abscence of good, so focusing on evil (sin, imperfections) is what makes thought processes devoid of good, and ultimately self destructive to the person who choses to fixate on evil like that. Biologically, trauma and fear is what gives fertile ground for ocd, but we still cognitively have a choice to fight that inclination. In fact, it is the only way to healing.
@@m.935 a gaze is an action. So if one were to choose to gaze at something impure, they are committing an action. But just looking at people regularly in everyday life is no sin, nor are intrusive thoughts that pop up. People with ocd don’t want the intrusive thoughts.
Hi Father: Could you help explain Romans 1: 18-32. Paul discusses that the pagans burned with Lust toward each other. The Lust that King David had resulted in him taking a life because he wanted his wife, no matter what and nothing was going to stop him! I have heard that Paul was discussing Pagan temple worship that the "lust" was a lot of times, drug induced. I've often wondered about that. I "think" what you mean is that LUST is much much more than just plain sexual attraction and desires. The story of King David really puts it into a whole different level. Thanks kindly
Thank you for quoting the catechism. Now, pastorally apply what you just quoted us, in the tradition, and without exaggerations. There is no real skill in cutting and pasting we can all do that. And there is no understanding of what the church teaches if you do not apply the full understanding and context. .
@@catholicocd You say that Lust has nothing to do with entertaining a sexual thought, but CC2351 says that if you are deliberately entertaining a sexual thought for the purpose of gaining sexual pleasure outside its procreative and unitive purposes, then it is the sin of lust.
@@rafoF1 The problem is his video and the description are saying that Lust must involve the misuse of power and sexuality together not just one or the other. The example he gives of David, suggests, by power, he means taking planned actions, not just deliberately entertaining the thoughts. He says in the description that "Lust has NOTHING to do with "entertaining" a sexual thought". Which means that even a deliberate sexual thought isn't Lust. In his defence his description starts off by saying , "those who confuse Random sexual thoughts and feelings with Lust." But then he starts suggesting that no sexual thoughts on their own can constitute Lust. Also he is trying to reassure people who are overly scrupulous, but he also claims in the video that what he is teaching is in line with Church teaching and it isn't. Church teaching says nothing about sexual thoughts having to be combined with planned actions (power) in order to constitute the sin of Lust. 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
@@brendanbutler1238As God, Our Lord Jesus Christ understands the pain of scrupolisity and OCD better than any human being, and His directive regarding adultery and lustful glances surely do not apply to a person having a monentary thought or feeling that passes. It can be hell on earth for people with anxiety to worry about this when they are not engaging in sin, but become convinced that they are doing so. That is why the learned Fr here is distinguishing here between intrusive thoughts, and desires and entertaining, planning, and committing deliberately lustful acts.
Wonderful It's as if someone who feels angry about his neighbor, starts to hate him and uses power to "go down that path", in some cases so much that he plans to do evil upon him (or even kill him). But how can we interpret some comments by, i.e., St. Gregory the Great: "We must therefore take heed at the first, we ought not to look upon what it is unlawful to desire. For that the heart may be kept pure in thought, the eyes, as being on the watch to hurry us to sin, should be averted from wanton looks."? I'd like to know what you think. Thank you Father nonetheless!
I think we know more about the human condition since the sixth century. In truth we do not have the context to even understand what Gregory was talking about. We think we do but we have been often wrong in our assumptions.
@@catholicocd I think i got it. It's from "Catena aurea", i've found it on the wikipedia page of Matt 5:27-28. As it is a commentary, and, by watching other videos of yours, to me it seems that we are getting a better/more complete understanding of things (i remember you talking about the "incompleteness" of such old works). Love your Work father!
i think it's about youre intention, if you knowingly/willingly look at it for youre own pleasure than yes it is sinful doesn't matter if you look away, but if you knowingly look at it and you realise that it's temptiation and than look away so you don't have sinful thoughts for youre own pleasure, than no it's not a sin, seeing an explicit photo or something alike is not sinful itself, even if you look at it knowingly, but if you realise that there is temptation and let that temtation to turn into sin, that would be a problem, this is how i understand from the video and from other sources, hope it helps, God bless❤❤❤
@@catholicocd I have being searching and I don't find anything convincing. So in take of the doubt I just confess. I'm tired of this, I'm 21 and I have being in this state since I was 9.
What does that Catholic Church teach? Answer: The Bible says: if you look at a woman (human) with lust, you are guilty of sin. Then, two of the commandments say; if you covet a man's wife (or, a woman's husband), you're guilty is sin. And, thou shalt NOT commit adultery, and you do so by lusting after another human. It is NORMAL and good how God made us to be attracted to the opposite sex! But we are to glorify God always, and to pray for all who we find attracted to (especially those we can't get our of our minds)... I recommend everyone to look up Jason and Crystallina Evert on 'theology of the body'... This will bring more clarification on what the Catholic Church teaches..
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts. The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her. In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
This is a classic response rooted in the scrupulous condition. You did not discover the exact answer you were looking for, using the exact words of your preferred answer, so any other answer is confusing.
@@catholicocd ok so what do I do? I just want to live my life normally without worrying too much, because I have work to do and I neglect work worrying
That is a good place to start. Knowing that you do not want to live this way any more. Now you need to take the steps to confront and manage your OCD scrupulosity in an effective way. Scrupulous Anonymous has many insights as does Managing Scrupulosity. At least that is a place to start.
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts. The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her. In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
I think that the issue with lust is that it actually hurts us and others. For example, it causes us to objectify a person without even knowing if that person is a Godly match for us (thus it can make us weak and make poor decisions). It can cause us to lose power over ourselves my ascribing more power to another person just based on appearance (which is the devil working, in my opinion). It gives another person control over us too, which is scary and not good. Also, if one is married, it’s ultimately a symbol of being ungrateful and selfish. You are not thanking God and the person for what you do have, you are wanting something else. It’s like Eve in the Bible, being tempted by the devil to want more than all of the beautiful things God has given her. It’s also a careless objectification of another person. Think of it this way: Lust is a trap from the devil. Looking once is not one’s fault necessarily. It’s the looking twice where the problem can start. It’s wanting more than what we have been given (if we are married). And that is an extremely hurtful thing to our spouse. I would be extremely hurt if my husband told me that he wanted someone else, and he would be devastated if I told him the same thing. I think it’s a matter of the heart and being a sensitive person. I think that what Jesus is talking about is the looking at someone with the desire to be doing something with that person. I think that is what he is saying. I don’t think that we can change what His words say there. I don’t think it’s calculating how to do it. I think it’s actually looking at someone and not just thinking the person is attractive. I think it’s visualizing doing sexual things with that person. I think being strong and controlled in this way is a skill and a huge superpower. I think it gives us the ability to go tremendous places in life because we are not coveting what is not ours, and we are loving and being so thankful for the beautiful gifts and person that God has given us (if we are married) - or the life He has given us, if we are single. We are not given away our power to others or to images. I think this a skill that can be learned. I don’t think that should beat ourselves up if we fall, but we can confess our sins to God and keep moving forward and getting stronger!! I was respectfully wondering how the Priest thinks about what I have written here if he has time to comment? Thank you! 🙏
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts. The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her. In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
See father i constantly think I've been lustful which i ask my self have i used this lady for my pleasure which i dont think i have but i become anxious and fearful if i was abd then question my self if i was sinful or in the wrong in some way, I think i am scrupulous and am not aure how to control it or overcome it.
While I agree in substance, I have a question. Is it possible for a thought to be a sin? I think so if one dwells on a thought centered on a desire for something wrong, as a matter of choice. If I willfully entertain fantasies about having sex with someone who isn't my wife, that is sinful. I agree that intrusive, passing thoughts are normal and we need not fear we have mortally sinned, or even necessarily sinned at all. But defining lust only in terms of physical actions independent of thoughts can also be dangerous; Jesus says one has committed adultery in one's heart by lusting, as a distinction from the physical act. Thoughts inform actions. So, one should be diligent against thoughts centered on a desire for something wrong. Though perhaps not sins in themselves, thoughts can easily lead to sin and are therefore not benign. But in guarding against scrupulosity, I agree that one shouldn't beat himself up for normal attractions. Simply recognize it for what it is, and move on without fear. Practice looking elsewhere, and redirecting your thoughts. But don't worry about it otherwise.
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts. The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her. In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
It may be a sin but is it lust. No. It is your imagination, fueled by scrupulosity, that always defaults to the worst possible outcome, the severest judgment. That is why it is called diminished capacity.
What does that Catholic Church teach? Answer: The Bible says: if you look at a woman (human) with lust, you are guilty of sin. Then, two of the commandments say; if you covet a man's wife (or, a woman's husband), you're guilty is sin. And, though shalt NOT commit adultery, and you do so by losing after another human.
@@catholicocd Hello Father. I wish to ask you about this comment in the context of your video "Unwelcomed and Impulsive Thoughts. Are Thoughts Powerful?" Here you seem to indicate that a fully willed erotic thought is a sin, though in the video I mentioned you said that thoughts are not sins, irrespective of their contents. Definitively, certainly and once-and-for-all, is there a context, scenario or situation in which a thought becomes a sin? I've struggled immensely with the constant consideration of whether a thought is a sin, whether journaling certain feelings and desires is a sin, whether I am obligated to constantly sweep aside thoughts as they arise, and so on. I'm certain you deal with those kinds of things very frequently. Uncertainty is the enemy of peace, and so I thought I should get a full and clear answer without ambiguity. Hilarious enough, this will be the ninth priest I have asked this question! Scrupulosity at work. Thank you for your patience and your time, Father.
@@davidshilliday9430 I sincerely doubt that as the ninth priest that you ask you will receive the answer that you seek. There is no answer that we can give. You already know the answer and only you understand the fullness of the question. That is the power of scrupulosity. It plays to an audience of one. And you are that audience.
@@catholicocd I don't understand what you mean, Father. How can I know the answer to this question, or at least be sure I am not in any danger of offending God?
That positioning is a trap that leads to nothing but more and more anxiety and useless worry. When did you hit the moment of entertainment? When did you fully and deliberately consent? How many seconds.How many minutes. Exactly what is the point.
@@toddcarver1430 Then your choice is to remain in a scrupulous modality and to actively resist the healing and the grace that the Lord wishes to apply to your struggle. That positioning that you just represented is the ultimate lie/fear that keeps a person in scrupulosity. You were not created to live your life in constant vigilance. Your are supposed to celebrate your life and the kingdom of God. Life is not a trap set by the Lord to send you to eternal damnation. That God is only in your imagination and is fed by your fear. I hope you have the courage to break away and to try and live the life of grace rather than the life of fear and entrapment.
@@toddcarver1430 the ultimate demonstration of fear is to attack your perceived enemy. Scrupulosity is your enemy. Not God. Not me. Not anyone who Is trying to help you or anyone else who suffers with this disorder. Do not take refuge in accusations. Turn your efforts on the real cause of your suffering.
I wonder if this priest has read the Catechism 2351 to 2356 and 2396: "Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity (sixth commandment) are masturbation, fornication pornography and homosexual practices." In fact, even seemingly innocent acts like going to the beach (with the way women are dressed), watching movies or even certain TV programs can easily lead us into mortal sin.
Most certainly have read the catechism. However it says nothing in isolation but always in context. You are reflecting in your assertion a hypersensitivity that is not part of the church’s moral teaching.
I don't know anything about 'hypersensitivity' but I do know something about addictions and sin, having been a member of several 12-step programs with many years of sobriety in each. The church tells us that deliberately placing ourselves without due cause in situations where we are likely to sin - and know that it will be likely from previous experience - is almost certainly a sin itself. How can a "near occasion of sin" also be a sin? That sounds like circular reasoning, but it's not. Theoretically, I could go to a movie knowing that it depicted immoral acts that incited lust...or go to a beach where the girls are...well, you know.... and not commit a sin until I actually had lusted. But common sense and experience tells me that as soon as I consent to go to those places, I'm going to sin...then the decision to see that movie or go to the beach is part of the ritual or 'acting out' of the addiction/sin. For most people, once a habit of sin ingrains itself, without grace from above and diligence from ourselves to co-operate with it, we become trapped in an addictive, sinful habit. The doctor of the 2 founders of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935 - the archetype of all 12-step programs - defined alcoholism as a "mental obsession coupled with a physical allergy." Perhaps that's where you're getting the concept of "hypersensitivity."
@@AndyYoung789 look at adjudication and sin in Catholic Moral Teaching which will Provide the correct context of your reasoning. Addiction diminishes the capacity of free choice and therefore diminishes the gravity of sin.
@@catholicocd Okee-dokee, all the guys cruising for hookers and strip bars are going to heaven. Maybe that's where [then Father] Barron and Hans Urs von Balthasar got their 'universalism' - that we have a "reasonable hope" all men are going to heaven.
Okee-dokee to you… A question: are you trying to be Christian or pharisaic? Do you even know what is the topic? Deliberately cultivating something bad is sinful, but the cathechism clearly talks about things that lower moral responsibility, such as psychic factors and much more. It’s not the same. But you clearly don’t want to get it right.
I've struggled greatly with this.
My battle against lust started out as a battle against masturbation and pornography, but it slowly turned into an ocd battle against sexual thoughts where I am obsessively trying to not look at women with lustful intent. Needless to say ever since I've been obsessively concerned with not looking at women lustfully I now do it more then ever because its always on my mind. This obsessiveness has lead me down a dark path of constantly falling back into masturbation and pornography. Im also an illustrator and routinely study the human figuire as part of my work. Never have I been filled with such anxiety during my drawing sessions.
This video has helped tremendously.
Thank you Fr.
My friend, I have been in the same position of you. I'm observing St. Michael's Lent (August 15th- September 29th), and fell into the sin of self abuse in the first couple of days. I then prayed the Mary, Untier ot Knots Novevna. The nine days helped me so much as I didn't wamt to let God and Our Lady down by falling during the nine days.
Since then, I am doing well. As a single man who suffers with anxiety, and has a lot of time on his hands, I have struggled but I am doing much better. I will pray for you to look up the Novena and win your battle. The fact that you are struggling shows that you have a good conscience and want to get out of this bad habit. God forgives us each time we fall and repent, and so long as you are sorry, and actively try to change, don't be so hard on yourself.
God bless.
Father, this gives me so much hope & I will apply this wisdom to my life. Thank you for this ministry to us scrupulous. Scrupulosity feels like a constant trap, often sadly encouraged by myself & others who give advice, but with these new perspectives I know that I can be set free by God’s Mercy daily.
Thank you, Fr. Tom, for providing us with a comprehensive explanation of a matter that affects so many of us. I find your approach to be thoroughly logical while retaining the compassion and understanding that one hopes to find in a spiritual advisor. Thank you, and God Bless!
What is the point of making a comment if you do not pay attention to what has been shared?
Thank you Fr Santa for giving this topic a more and complete explanation. Context is everything.
Thank you, Father. All too often today, lust gets conflated with sexuality. You have helped to clarify the truth!
i’ve been dealing with scrupulosity for many years now and i’ve a hard time understanding lust. i never understood whether “looking at a woman with lust” counted as just thinking about the act with someone you were attracted to, imagining it, imagining it without imagining the sexual stimulation, imagining it while thinking about the emotional bond instead of the sexual pleasure, or otherwise. i stil don’t. i want to be able to replace and bad habits i have when i feel a strong sexual urge but i don’t want to get rid of normal thinking or “imaginations” either. what do you think Father?
Oh man I just became Catholic and these are all the same questions I’m dealing with. Have you obtained any clarification?
Be chaste with even your attention according to your state in life, and do not entertain any fantasies you would not love be brought to the light. Make sincere efforts to understand the distortedness of lust-based behaviours. Beyond this, also focus on giving the gift of yourself and your full realized attention to Christ in the Altar; from there you will gain the strength to carry it to marriage where that be your vocation.
These four points, I should think, become a seemly guideline for how to become able to discern and isolate lust. The rest of resistance from there comes down to scrupulosity, strategies, and persistence.
Peace be with your spirit
@@Gruenders i’ve been told by a deacon that wanting to know the love associated with the act and imagining that part is ok to do, but obviously it probably isn’t a good idea to try if one doesn’t already have a very very very firm grasp on not lusting during temptation. since if you imagine it with good intentions, but then get tempted, then it puts you in a bad spot and we are asked to not tempt ourselves, so what’s best is to make sure you have a strong mind (for me it was by developing a habit to just turn off the imagination instinctively whenever i started imagining the pleasure) and then maybe once there is no non-controllable temptation and you won’t lead yourself into temptation, then i think imagining it would be safe when it’s not meant to stimulate a sexual desire but just to imagine a holy union between marrried partners
@@DiamondCraft2000 If you get a chance, read St. Faustina's diary! Jesus talks to her about confession, because she often felt she should confess any little thing and so avoided taking Holy Communion. Jesus tells her, "Unless you know well you have sinned, come to Me in Holy Communion. For it hurts Me more when you avoid Communing with Me than..." (I forget!) Highly recommend reading her diary, it will take you along the interior life of a saint, which will answer many of your particular questions.
With the point at which the thoughts become a sin, the advice that anything you would not bring up proudly before God and everyone you love on the Earth is good.
As a woman and wife of 30 yrs, I will be honest... it hurts to see my husband staring at other women. I feel I am still attractive but not like I was... getting older is hard & there's only so much a woman can do to stay young looking ... I realize there are attractive women (& many younger women) out there everywhere and I realize my husband will notice but when he stares continously not realizing I'm watching him, it hurts me very much. I do feel like I'm being cheated on and it makes me feel inadequate like I'm not enough for him. I wonder what he's thinking when he's staring. It has really hurt our marriage because I don't trust him anymore and I've become the jealous wife I never thought I'd ever be. I trust that he'd never physically cheat with any of them but knowing he stares a little too long scares me and makes me feel very insecure. I'm not writing this in a negative light of men... I'm just trying to understand... and I know I'm not the only wife who feels this way. I'd like to understand better and maybe hear from men who are married. I apologize if this isn't the appropriate place to talk on this so I understand if it's removed.
Sexual attraction of the opposite sex is actually a blessing from God. There are very beautiful women everywhere in this world with very beautiful features. God knows this. It’s fine to be attracted to someone else but have you gone beyond that? The key word is adultery in your “heart”, which takes a willing effort to use that attractiveness to greedily please one’s own sexual desires. Have you diminished that woman in your mind to a tool to be used sexually? Simply admiring and being attracted to someone’s physical beauty is not at all lusting, otherwise virtually every single straight man on this earth, whether married or single, would be condemned to hell. You also have to remember that physical attraction comes first before marriage. That order is proper and sinless. Just focus on what you’re then doing with that attraction. Sometimes it is better to move on and leave the attraction behind, lest you fail to avoid the near occasion of sin.
Thank you dearly, Father. Your videos help me so much with my scrupulosity
Thank you so much, I struggle so badly with scrupoulosity, its been hard to live.
I can relate, I’ve had OCD for several years and it’s made my life so hard. Fathers videos on this channel have been helpful for me, in clearing up many misconceptions I’ve made up over the years.
Take courage and remember that God is always with you, even we you feel otherwise ! Scrupulosity does go away, and you will one day be able to enjoy life like every other catholic. Seeing a therapist can be very helpful, perhaps necessary depending on the case
Stop it. Stop believing that your ocd is telling you the truth. It is not. Seek other answers fearlessly.
Please read Theology of the Body of Pope John Paul II, and search for Theology of the body institute.
This was very helpful Fr. It would be great to give a talk about homosexuality, as I struggle with that. I know many gay couples that don't appear to have a lustful relationship, but I also am well aware of parts of the community that are driven by lust, which leads to a lot of trouble in their lives and yet, the Lord loves them as much as he loves me. Lust is a biggie for sure.
thank you so much!
can someone direct me to the background music?
Thank you so much Father. You have helped me in my struggle to really know what Lust is and if I've committed it or not. God bless you!
Thank you Father Santa
Thank you so much Father.
Godbless and thankyou father
So is fantasizing a sin at all or just a thought. If it is a sin is it a serious or venial sin
Have a thought that concerns something sexual is only a sin of you DELIBERATELY and CONSCIOUSLY choose to entertain that thought instead of ATTEMPTING to cast it aside in a timely manner. However, if someone does legitimately CHOOSE to willfully entertain one of these thoughts, it is normally considered a mortal sin.
@@troymazzei5976 One could hypothetically sin by realizing a lustful thought in their mind by chosen enjoyment, but for people with ocd it is far different. People with ocd cannot choose whether or not a thought remains - similar to a photographic memory, the scary thought comes and provokes intense anxiety and then the brain latches onto the thought as a perceived threat.
As someone with ocd I can attest that sometimes a particular thought will not leave the mind for weeks and sometimes even several months.
The key is that the person with ocd does not desire the thought be present, but any effort to push the thought away makes the thought’s perceived threat even greater.
The person with ocd will often engage in a compulsion to alleviate anxiety known as testing. They will subconsciously or purposefully bring a troubling thought into their mind as a way to prove to themselves they are still disgusted of it. This attempt to prove to themselves their true nature ultimately intensifies the thought’s perceived threat as well.
But, the person with ocd cannot be said to have sinned because even when they think about a said thought, they are not doing so for the purpose of enjoyment, but rather to alleviate ocd.
This is the whole nature of the disorder and it is why people with ocd cannot judge themselves based on a typical examination of conscience. Actually examinations of conscience are so anxiety provoking, they typically increase ocd anxiety very strongly.
The person with ocd hates the idea of the mortal sin of lust and so they try to avoid it which only makes it remain.
The person with ocd can only be said to have actualized the mortal sin of lust by doing the action physically or by actual intention.
Otherwise, their will is so compromised by ocd that sin in the realm of thoughts is virtually impossible.
So, in conclusion, the person with ocd lacks the capability of “attempting to cast it aside in a timely manner” and cannot “choose to willfully entertain one of these thoughts”. Therefore, the person with ocd can only realize the mortal sin of lust by actually choosing to do it in real life or planning to do it by orchestrating it.
@@troymazzei5976what if it’s a sexual thought that isn’t about a illicit sexual act like procreative sex in marriage thought?
@@cardboardcapeii4286in the context of marriage it is a gift to lust your MARRIED partner the saints I think wrote about the beauty of the gift given to desire your spouse in that matter but in marriage only
I recommend to the video author and those who read this the teaching of Dallas Willard. Lookup his books and find him teaching on UA-cam and conversation Divina. He is a Protestant and I think him to be a reformer of Protestantism. One of his books, “The Divine Conspiracy” has as one of its main focus the Sermon on the Mount where similar distinctions are made about the righteousness that goes beyond that of the Scribes and Pharisees.
So, how would fantasy come into play here? King David lusted through planning and intent to act, or a willingness to act if opportunity presented itself. What if there is never real intention or desire beyond the imagination? Obviously this shouldn't be willfully engaged in and entertained, but you seem to suggest that it crosses the line into mortal sin when there is actual intention to carry out, physically, the desire?
I you got it pretty much right. Just like the sin of anger becomes grave matter when one intends to do grave harm to another human being so lust becomes a grave matter when one intends to realise it. Hence the example in the video of David and Bathsheba.
One could hypothetically sin by realizing a lustful thought in their mind by chosen enjoyment, but for people with ocd it is far different. People with ocd cannot choose whether or not a thought remains - similar to a photographic memory, the scary thought comes and provokes intense anxiety and then the brain latches onto the thought as a perceived threat. As someone with ocd I can attest that sometimes a particular thought will not leave the mind for weeks and sometimes even several months. The key is that the person with ocd does not desire the thought be present, but any effort to push the thought away makes the thought’s perceived threat even greater.
The person with ocd will often engage in a compulsion to alleviate anxiety known as testing. They will subconsciously or purposefully bring a troubling thought into their mind as a way to prove to themselves they are still disgusted of it. This attempt to prove to themselves their true nature ultimately intensifies the thought’s perceived threat as well.
But, the person with ocd cannot be said to have sinned because even when they think about a said thought, they are not doing so for the purpose of enjoyment, but rather to alleviate ocd.
This is the whole nature of the disorder and it is why people with ocd cannot judge themselves based on a typical examination of conscience. Actually examinations of conscience are so anxiety provoking, they typically increase ocd anxiety very strongly.
The person with ocd hates the idea of the mortal sin of lust and so they try to avoid it which only makes it remain.
The person with ocd can only be said to have actualized the mortal sin of lust by doing the action physically or by actual intention.
Otherwise, their will is so compromised by ocd that sin in the realm of thoughts is virtually impossible.
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts.
The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her.
In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
@@lifematterspodcastpeople with ocd fixate on the sin instead of how God intended it to be, and that's the problem, but that doesn't change the fact that lust is in percieving others as objects of one's sexual desires.
Evil is an abscence of good, so focusing on evil (sin, imperfections) is what makes thought processes devoid of good, and ultimately self destructive to the person who choses to fixate on evil like that. Biologically, trauma and fear is what gives fertile ground for ocd, but we still cognitively have a choice to fight that inclination. In fact, it is the only way to healing.
@@m.935 a gaze is an action. So if one were to choose to gaze at something impure, they are committing an action. But just looking at people regularly in everyday life is no sin, nor are intrusive thoughts that pop up. People with ocd don’t want the intrusive thoughts.
Hi Father: Could you help explain Romans 1: 18-32. Paul discusses that the pagans burned with Lust toward each other. The Lust that King David had resulted in him taking a life because he wanted his wife, no matter what and nothing was going to stop him! I have heard that Paul was discussing Pagan temple worship that the "lust" was a lot of times, drug induced. I've often wondered about that. I "think" what you mean is that LUST is much much more than just plain sexual attraction and desires. The story of King David really puts it into a whole different level. Thanks kindly
CCC 2351 "Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes."
Thank you for quoting the catechism. Now, pastorally apply what you just quoted us, in the tradition, and without exaggerations. There is no real skill in cutting and pasting we can all do that. And there is no understanding of what the church teaches if you do not apply the full understanding and context. .
@@catholicocd You say that Lust has nothing to do with entertaining a sexual thought, but CC2351 says that if you are deliberately entertaining a sexual thought for the purpose of gaining sexual pleasure outside its procreative and unitive purposes, then it is the sin of lust.
@@brendanbutler1238yes it is. I think he is only speaking about intrusive thoughts and not deliberate thoughts
@@rafoF1 The problem is his video and the description are saying that Lust must involve the misuse of power and sexuality together not just one or the other. The example he gives of David, suggests, by power, he means taking planned actions, not just deliberately entertaining the thoughts. He says in the description that "Lust has NOTHING to do with "entertaining" a sexual thought". Which means that even a deliberate sexual thought isn't Lust.
In his defence his description starts off by saying , "those who confuse Random sexual thoughts and feelings with Lust." But then he starts suggesting that no sexual thoughts on their own can constitute Lust. Also he is trying to reassure people who are overly scrupulous, but he also claims in the video that what he is teaching is in line with Church teaching and it isn't.
Church teaching says nothing about sexual thoughts having to be combined with planned actions (power) in order to constitute the sin of Lust.
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
@@brendanbutler1238As God, Our Lord Jesus Christ understands the pain of scrupolisity and OCD better than any human being, and His directive regarding adultery and lustful glances surely do not apply to a person having a monentary thought or feeling that passes. It can be hell on earth for people with anxiety to worry about this when they are not engaging in sin, but become convinced that they are doing so. That is why the learned Fr here is distinguishing here between intrusive thoughts, and desires and entertaining, planning, and committing deliberately lustful acts.
Wonderful
It's as if someone who feels angry about his neighbor, starts to hate him and uses power to "go down that path", in some cases so much that he plans to do evil upon him (or even kill him).
But how can we interpret some comments by, i.e., St. Gregory the Great: "We must therefore take heed at the first, we ought not to look upon what it is unlawful to desire. For that the heart may be kept pure in thought, the eyes, as being on the watch to hurry us to sin, should be averted from wanton looks."? I'd like to know what you think.
Thank you Father nonetheless!
I think we know more about the human condition since the sixth century. In truth we do not have the context to even understand what Gregory was talking about. We think we do but we have been often wrong in our assumptions.
@@catholicocd I think i got it. It's from "Catena aurea", i've found it on the wikipedia page of Matt 5:27-28. As it is a commentary, and, by watching other videos of yours, to me it seems that we are getting a better/more complete understanding of things (i remember you talking about the "incompleteness" of such old works).
Love your Work father!
If I were to knowingly get on the internet to look at an explicit photo, and then choose to stop looking at it, is it still mortal sin?
i think it's about youre intention, if you knowingly/willingly look at it for youre own pleasure than yes it is sinful doesn't matter if you look away, but if you knowingly look at it and you realise that it's temptiation and than look away so you don't have sinful thoughts for youre own pleasure, than no it's not a sin, seeing an explicit photo or something alike is not sinful itself, even if you look at it knowingly, but if you realise that there is temptation and let that temtation to turn into sin, that would be a problem, this is how i understand from the video and from other sources, hope it helps, God bless❤❤❤
So, what is addiction then?
Look it up. There are many fine explanations available to you.
@@catholicocd I have being searching and I don't find anything convincing. So in take of the doubt I just confess.
I'm tired of this, I'm 21 and I have being in this state since I was 9.
@@pasalasagain what state?
@@m.935 What do you mean state?
@@pasalasaga "I have being in this state since I was 9."
You tell us?
What does that Catholic Church teach?
Answer: The Bible says: if you look at a woman (human) with lust, you are guilty of sin. Then, two of the commandments say; if you covet a man's wife (or, a woman's husband), you're guilty is sin. And, thou shalt NOT commit adultery, and you do so by lusting after another human.
It is NORMAL and good how God made us to be attracted to the opposite sex! But we are to glorify God always, and to pray for all who we find attracted to (especially those we can't get our of our minds)... I recommend everyone to look up Jason and Crystallina Evert on 'theology of the body'... This will bring more clarification on what the Catholic Church teaches..
Thou........Not though. 😊
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts.
The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her.
In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
Amen
That doesn't explain what lust is. Confusing
This is a classic response rooted in the scrupulous condition. You did not discover the exact answer you were looking for, using the exact words of your preferred answer, so any other answer is confusing.
@@catholicocd ok so what do I do?
I just want to live my life normally without worrying too much, because I have work to do and I neglect work worrying
That is a good place to start. Knowing that you do not want to live this way any more. Now you need to take the steps to confront and manage your OCD scrupulosity in an effective way. Scrupulous Anonymous has many insights as does Managing Scrupulosity. At least that is a place to start.
@@catholicocd I will start there, thank you
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts.
The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her.
In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
I think that the issue with lust is that it actually hurts us and others. For example, it causes us to objectify a person without even knowing if that person is a Godly match for us (thus it can make us weak and make poor decisions). It can cause us to lose power over ourselves my ascribing more power to another person just based on appearance (which is the devil working, in my opinion). It gives another person control over us too, which is scary and not good.
Also, if one is married, it’s ultimately a symbol of being ungrateful and selfish. You are not thanking God and the person for what you do have, you are wanting something else. It’s like Eve in the Bible, being tempted by the devil to want more than all of the beautiful things God has given her. It’s also a careless objectification of another person.
Think of it this way: Lust is a trap from the devil. Looking once is not one’s fault necessarily. It’s the looking twice where the problem can start. It’s wanting more than what we have been given (if we are married). And that is an extremely hurtful thing to our spouse. I would be extremely hurt if my husband told me that he wanted someone else, and he would be devastated if I told him the same thing. I think it’s a matter of the heart and being a sensitive person. I think that what Jesus is talking about is the looking at someone with the desire to be doing something with that person. I think that is what he is saying. I don’t think that we can change what His words say there. I don’t think it’s calculating how to do it. I think it’s actually looking at someone and not just thinking the person is attractive. I think it’s visualizing doing sexual things with that person.
I think being strong and controlled in this way is a skill and a huge superpower. I think it gives us the ability to go tremendous places in life because we are not coveting what is not ours, and we are loving and being so thankful for the beautiful gifts and person that God has given us (if we are married) - or the life He has given us, if we are single. We are not given away our power to others or to images.
I think this a skill that can be learned. I don’t think that should beat ourselves up if we fall, but we can confess our sins to God and keep moving forward and getting stronger!!
I was respectfully wondering how the Priest thinks about what I have written here if he has time to comment? Thank you! 🙏
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts.
The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her.
In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
See father i constantly think I've been lustful which i ask my self have i used this lady for my pleasure which i dont think i have but i become anxious and fearful if i was abd then question my self if i was sinful or in the wrong in some way, I think i am scrupulous and am not aure how to control it or overcome it.
While I agree in substance, I have a question. Is it possible for a thought to be a sin? I think so if one dwells on a thought centered on a desire for something wrong, as a matter of choice. If I willfully entertain fantasies about having sex with someone who isn't my wife, that is sinful. I agree that intrusive, passing thoughts are normal and we need not fear we have mortally sinned, or even necessarily sinned at all. But defining lust only in terms of physical actions independent of thoughts can also be dangerous; Jesus says one has committed adultery in one's heart by lusting, as a distinction from the physical act. Thoughts inform actions. So, one should be diligent against thoughts centered on a desire for something wrong. Though perhaps not sins in themselves, thoughts can easily lead to sin and are therefore not benign. But in guarding against scrupulosity, I agree that one shouldn't beat himself up for normal attractions. Simply recognize it for what it is, and move on without fear. Practice looking elsewhere, and redirecting your thoughts. But don't worry about it otherwise.
Jesus clearly stated that lust involves how one looks at a woman. He emphasized that it is about the gaze itself, indicating that no action is necessary for sexuality to turn into the sin of lust; merely looking at a woman in that way is enough. What way? It is when a man reduces a person to the level of an object of sexual pleasure in his perception. If you look at a woman's backside with sexual pleasure and justify it as instinct, you are defiling the sexuality given to you by God and reducing the person in front of you to an object. Desire should always be directed at the person, not their body parts.
The problem is that women often want to be seen this way as well, so it is not only men who are at fault. God foresaw what would happen to women after the fall in the Garden of Eden: "your urge shall be for your husband (so before fall woman's urge was not for her husband but God)." A woman, because of her longing for a man instead of God, reduces herself to an object and loses her dignity, and he as well easily exploits her at the basis of how he percieves her.
In Theology of the Body, Pope John Paul II talked about it.
Are you an Oratorian, Father?
No I am not. I am a Redemptorist.
💗🙏🏻✝️ AMEN
I disagree... If you lust after someone.. A fully willed erotic thought then it is a sin.
It may be a sin but is it lust. No. It is your imagination, fueled by scrupulosity, that always defaults to the worst possible outcome, the severest judgment. That is why it is called diminished capacity.
What does that Catholic Church teach?
Answer: The Bible says: if you look at a woman (human) with lust, you are guilty of sin. Then, two of the commandments say; if you covet a man's wife (or, a woman's husband), you're guilty is sin. And, though shalt NOT commit adultery, and you do so by losing after another human.
@@catholicocd Hello Father. I wish to ask you about this comment in the context of your video "Unwelcomed and Impulsive Thoughts. Are Thoughts Powerful?" Here you seem to indicate that a fully willed erotic thought is a sin, though in the video I mentioned you said that thoughts are not sins, irrespective of their contents. Definitively, certainly and once-and-for-all, is there a context, scenario or situation in which a thought becomes a sin?
I've struggled immensely with the constant consideration of whether a thought is a sin, whether journaling certain feelings and desires is a sin, whether I am obligated to constantly sweep aside thoughts as they arise, and so on. I'm certain you deal with those kinds of things very frequently. Uncertainty is the enemy of peace, and so I thought I should get a full and clear answer without ambiguity.
Hilarious enough, this will be the ninth priest I have asked this question! Scrupulosity at work.
Thank you for your patience and your time, Father.
@@davidshilliday9430 I sincerely doubt that as the ninth priest that you ask you will receive the answer that you seek. There is no answer that we can give. You already know the answer and only you understand the fullness of the question. That is the power of scrupulosity. It plays to an audience of one. And you are that audience.
@@catholicocd I don't understand what you mean, Father. How can I know the answer to this question, or at least be sure I am not in any danger of offending God?
If I/you consent and "entertain" a lustful thought, I/you have sinned. It does not have to manifest to action.
That positioning is a trap that leads to nothing but more and more anxiety and useless worry. When did you hit the moment of entertainment? When did you fully and deliberately consent? How many seconds.How many minutes. Exactly what is the point.
@Catholic OCD discernment and diligence. Better to be overconcerned in avoiding sin than to be over-permissive - that later leads to eternal death.
@@toddcarver1430 Then your choice is to remain in a scrupulous modality and to actively resist the healing and the grace that the Lord wishes to apply to your struggle. That positioning that you just represented is the ultimate lie/fear that keeps a person in scrupulosity. You were not created to live your life in constant vigilance. Your are supposed to celebrate your life and the kingdom of God. Life is not a trap set by the Lord to send you to eternal damnation. That God is only in your imagination and is fed by your fear. I hope you have the courage to break away and to try and live the life of grace rather than the life of fear and entrapment.
@Catholic OCD if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.
Be a good shepherd.
@@toddcarver1430 the ultimate demonstration of fear is to attack your perceived enemy. Scrupulosity is your enemy. Not God. Not me. Not anyone who
Is trying to help you or anyone else who suffers with this disorder. Do not take refuge in accusations. Turn your efforts on the real cause of your suffering.
I wonder if this priest has read the Catechism 2351 to 2356 and 2396: "Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity (sixth commandment) are masturbation, fornication pornography and homosexual practices." In fact, even seemingly innocent acts like going to the beach (with the way women are dressed), watching movies or even certain TV programs can easily lead us into mortal sin.
Most certainly have read the catechism. However it says nothing in isolation but always in context. You are reflecting in your assertion a hypersensitivity that is not part of the church’s moral teaching.
I don't know anything about 'hypersensitivity' but I do know something about addictions and sin, having been a member of several 12-step programs with many years of sobriety in each. The church tells us that deliberately placing ourselves without due cause in situations where we are likely to sin - and know that it will be likely from previous experience - is almost certainly a sin itself. How can a "near occasion of sin" also be a sin?
That sounds like circular reasoning, but it's not. Theoretically, I could go to a movie knowing that it depicted immoral acts that incited lust...or go to a beach where the girls are...well, you know.... and not commit a sin until I actually had lusted. But common sense and experience tells me that as soon as I consent to go to those places, I'm going to sin...then the decision to see that movie or go to the beach is part of the ritual or 'acting out' of the addiction/sin. For most people, once a habit of sin ingrains itself, without grace from above and diligence from ourselves to co-operate with it, we become trapped in an addictive, sinful habit. The doctor of the 2 founders of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1935 - the archetype of all 12-step programs - defined alcoholism as a "mental obsession coupled with a physical allergy." Perhaps that's where you're getting the concept of "hypersensitivity."
@@AndyYoung789 look at adjudication and sin in Catholic Moral Teaching which will
Provide the correct context of your reasoning. Addiction diminishes the capacity of free choice and therefore diminishes the gravity of sin.
@@catholicocd Okee-dokee, all the guys cruising for hookers and strip bars are going to heaven. Maybe that's where [then Father] Barron and Hans Urs von Balthasar got their 'universalism' - that we have a "reasonable hope" all men are going to heaven.
Okee-dokee to you…
A question: are you trying to be Christian or pharisaic?
Do you even know what is the topic?
Deliberately cultivating something bad is sinful, but the cathechism clearly talks about things that lower moral responsibility, such as psychic factors and much more. It’s not the same. But you clearly don’t want to get it right.