Born & raised LDS. My Mom died when I was 7 after a 3 year battle with breast cancer at the age of 34. My dad married a “Robyn” 1 year later who had a daughter(13) & son(12). I had 2 sisters (12 & 3). The minute they introduced Robyn on the show, I picked up on so many behaviors in her & her kids & the whole show has made me sick watching the same type of thing happen to my dad & us girls from their same personality disorders. At 47 my dad & I have a strained relationship & he has to come to my house because his house is a mine field that he is blind to. He’s disappointed in me not turning the other cheek for the millionth time & creating boundaries to protect myself. He knows everything about his step kids, their kids & their babies, but very little about my sisters & I & our families. It’s destroyed long time relationships he & my mom had & those of his family & my Mom’s because they spoke out when we couldn’t & he told them it was just us adjusting. He’s now sealed to both my mom & “Robyn” & her kids. It’s bad knowing my dad forsake everything for his “new family” & living with that pain of being an orphan when he’s present for that family & not doing anything to repair what he’s put us girls & our half brother, he had who was 3 when he married our Mom, knowing he refused to do anything for him when he made bad decisions after my Mom died & she & our home, his safe place, was no longer available to him & he grew up in juvie for the last 4 years of his childhood to 18, is hard to forgive. My sisters & I have a relationship with him that we all work on together without my dad- he reached out to him & was so excited about hunting & fishing with his dad again, just to find a guy who is a shell of the man he was with my Mom. Watching the Sister Wives family fall apart in much the same way & the dad only truly care about her kids & family is devastating & painful.
Honestly, unless a child has gone no contact I think it’s always the parents responsibility to reach out. Parents don’t get to be so prideful in their relationships with their adult children that they can’t admit when they’re wrong or at the very least that maybe they’re seeing things from two different perspectives, that’s me though.
I was impressed by Christine’s Father 😊at her wedding … him being so connected to the Church , yet chose to support his daughter was really something. Not easy , for someone to put their beliefs aside to stand with your daughter . Says a lot about who she comes from . Kindness above all .
Favorite Christine moment - when she realizes she doesn't have to be married to him any more "so freaking awesome" She was SO happy in that moment, reveling in her new freedom.
Yes, but she’s also demonstrating why psychologists say divorce in social groups is contagious. It has been studied that people in the process of divorcing will discourage reconciliation within their friend group when discussing other couples’ issues. Divorce is not wonderful, is a marriage is toxic, then yes, it is best to leave it, but that doesn’t make divorce a wonderful thing. Children of divorce suffer, they have poorer success rates in their own relationships and tend to show other markers of trauma. Again, unhealthy marriages should not be endured, but people need to take more care in who they choose to marry and even more so, who they have children with. Christine’s children have a severely damaged relationship with their father, there is no way that is healthy or a happy development for the children.
And that's the problem here now. Kody's, Meri's, Janelle's and Robin's families have already played out. The older "children" have families of their own now and Kody's, Meri's, Janelle's and Robin's didn't let their own parents interfer with the raising of their families. Season 19 didnt need to happen, it's over. Season 1 of the children of these polygamist unions building on 40 acres is something of interest (to me)
Kody is a narcissist. For years he has said that he wanted his wives to be friends but then when Janelle and Christine have that WITHOUT him, it’s a problem. He made his own bed and can now lie in it.
He needs CONTROL and has used these tactics of reprimanding each of his wives do attain more and more adoration from them. His ego was fed by his pushing and pulling them around and demanding their respect and “loyalty!” The vicious things he says to the wives that leave him proves that he only LOVED himself and what they could do for him!! He was not heartbroken by the wives leaving him one by one, it was him not being able to control them and their MONEY! Clearly Robyn is the favored wife and he is going to pledge his love for her because that aligns with HER game of manipulation. So sad that these kids are pawns in all this and one paid for it with his life!
@@marisatotero630 Sometimes I wonder if Kody only loves freedom, power and money. Not really himself or others. He has a destructive personality w embarrassing, contradicting traits of enlarged ego and victimhood. When he cries...waaagh... He feels justified to cross boundaries out of victimhood. Being destructive is a very difficult trait (most difficult), because he cannot even trust himself. Unpredictable decisions and behavior. Not a stable adult. Deep inside, I don't think he's comfortable with himself. He has moved a lot and rearranged the situation and people around him, every 8th year? By controlling others, he's trying to have some control? But it will never be enough. He should meet himself and work on that. He would prob have been happier living a gyspy style. Being on the roads with little responsibility. But his faith... I can see him being sensitive to addiction. It's difficult when you don't love or respect yourself. With that said, he disrespects the wives more than himself. He's putting them down in an effort to feel good abt himself. He's in a sharp situation now. Only him and Robin. He will start to push her as well. If Robin leaves, so does much of the family money. These are only humble speculations, of course...
As a child of absent parents, I would say it’s the parents job to reach out. We didn’t ask to be ignored, whether it’s completely ignoring or ignoring emotions needs. No child comes into this world with the responsibility of teaching a parent how to be available for them, it’s the parents job to show the child love
Who reaches out completely depends on the separation situation. In this case his kids feel so hurt by him that he should be reaching out, particularly considering wjat happened with Garrison
The reason Kody thinks they are punishing him through his FOMO is because he uses withholding affection and exclusion as a punishment for the rest of the family
Yes, if the kids are around, he can distort their behavior just as he distorted the entrance of Janelle and Christine into the family. ‘Pant, pant, pant, pick me, pick me’!!!!🐶🐶🐶🐶🦴🐾
Parents should have uncondtional love for their chidlren which means giving them support when they ask and understanding when mistakes are made. Kody is incapable of providing that love because of his narcissism.
Kody is also demonstrating multigenerational trauma. I generally hate that expression, as I believe people use it as a crutch for bad behavior or of excuse for lack of success, it’s original inception referred to people continuing destructive practices they experienced during their formative years. Kody’s father was clearly emotionally distant and demonstrated conditional love, we don’t know what Kody’s grandfather was like, but it’s safe to assume Kody’s father learned his behavior from somewhere. Kody lacked the ability to reflect on how his father failed him and to then apply this to how he parented. Instead, he just continued the same unhealthy paradigms.
I’m so glad to have found your channel! You both seem like very kind down to earth people who don’t want to push their agenda or opinion too deeply onto your viewers which I really appreciate! I love being able to form my own opinions instead of them being shoved down my throat by the content creators so just a massive huge thank you to you both! Very happy I’ve found your channel ❤
I have a dad like kody. I felt like j needed to reach outbto him continually because he felt abandoned.but after time after time of it not being one healthy visit, i tapped out and it has been great.
I do feel like Meri never stopped believing, her beliefs is what kept her holding on to her marriage to Kody all this time. Great episode guys🎉 so much fun that the show aired here in Europe too this werk so we can all experience it together
I believe that we parent our kids for life. It is and will always be my responsibility to maintain contact with my children. Even now, as I'm 37 and they're 13 and 17-year-old, sometimes moody teens, it is MY job to still remind them every day of the love that I have for them even when we're not seeing eye-to-eye. My parents feel differently about the matter. In fact, it's led to us butting heads many times. Most recently, when my parents had a falling out with my younger brother over a simple misunderstanding. My mom refused to reach out to my brother for nearly a year and still sometimes avoids his calls or makes snide comments about him and his wife. I told her again and again that she should be the one to reach out, but she resisted just like Kody--albeit less loudly. So, all of that to say that as someone who doesn't have the kind of parents who reach out when there's conflict, I aim to be the opposite with my children and truly believe that I'm making the correct choice in doing so. I cannot even imagine valuing myself so highly as to feel that I couldn't be bothered to reach out to my children. Insanity.
It sounds like you're breaking a generational curse. Despite being given a bad example of compassionate parenting by your own mother, you're flipping it and providing an excellent example of unconditional love to your own children. It sounds like you've had negative feedback from that (possibly because your behaviour makes her own poor approach look bad?). So, in case nobody else has said it, good on you! 😎 You're doing a fantastic job as a parent and your children will be happier and emotionally healthier because of it. You sound like someone they will be able to rely on and come to for advice, even as adults - and in today's world (where it's so much harder to afford a home than it was for previous generations), feeling comfortable and safe at home and not feeling like they have to escape ASAP is vital to keeping them safe and putting them on the right trajectory for a happy and successful life. Keep doing you're thing, Mama, because you're doing it well 💖🙏👍
Regarding Meri, I think I remember an older episode where there was a scene in which Meri said, or alluded to, the fact that she wouldn't leave because of her family's firm belief in their religion. I remember Meri implying that her mother would be so heartbroken or disappointed if she broke her covenant.
You deserve a play button. I watched this episode, curious to see what you think. I liked the part when Meri said to the camera "I don't care if you bleep this".
I really think that there are so many factors to be weighed when we are talking about who should be reaching out. In general I think parents should put in a lot of effort but there also has to be boundaries. No one shouldn't feel stuck in a toxic environment. Boundaries and clear expectations are important. A therapist also told me you can't force people to care about you or do anything they don't want to do no matter how much you want it.
Everyone has their unique feelings and circumstances. My perspective is I fight for unconditional love for my children. Being right, being justified isn’t worth it. It is worth it to love freely, forgive and move on…no matter what. I love your show and value your well thought out opinions, especially coming from your background.
I think it’s the parent’s responsibility to reach out. They made those kids. Parents should have the emotional maturity to be the bigger person and work things out. Now that’s not to say that if you have a very rebellious child who defies you at every turn, that you have to continually grovel to have a relationship. But in the case of the Brown family, I don’t believe that to be the case. Cody is a spoiled child who has the emotional maturity of a two year old. All he does is point the finger and blame everyone but himself. There is very little honest self-reflection where he takes any responsibility yet he is the only common denominator in every failed relationship. I think his kids should run as fast as they can away from him.
I think pride goeth before the fall. Kodys pride is keeping him from reaching out and if he doesn’t realize what’s really important and that relationships take 2 people who are willing to work at those relationships and admit when they’re wrong and show grace and love to each other then there will be no relationship. A parent is supposed to have unconditional love for their children. No one is perfect but even if the child decides to break away the parent should make sure they know that they’re loved and are there for them when/if they want to come back.
Kody and Robyn continue to remain in denial about their role in things and play the victims. Meri seems much more open to criticizing Kody and swearing him out. At least, the baby sprinkle was less awkward than the good bye party. As for kids and parents, it's 50/50 BUT only if it's reciprocated. It shouldn't be forced.
I think Mari stayed because of her faith and not wanting to disappoint her mother. Her only out was for Kody to make the first move. He did that very clearly. I also think Meri choosing to have her eternal marriage dissolved has a two-fold reason. Firstly as she stated, why would she want to spend eternity with him. Secondly, if Kody thinks he still has the benefit of eternal marriage with Robin, Janelle, and Meri then he is set in the afterlife. Mere takes that possibility away from him.
The magical thinking of polygamy defies any reality. Kody would have his own planet & be a g-d who calls his wives to live with him thru eternity. That's a lot to put together or believe.
I always found it funny that he goes on and on about how Robin is the only one who's been loyal etc.. yet here we have Meri who has been staying and waiting patiently for him to notice her and work on their marriage. how much more loyalty can there be??
I feel like the move with Ysebel - his “fomo” wouldn’t have been a thing if he was communicating with Ysebel. She would have said, “I’m moving back to Utah” and he could have offered his help. It just shows he wasn’t talking to Ysebel in my opinion.
As a mother of 3 grown children, with 8 grandchildren, I believe it is always the parents responsibility to reach out. I would do anything for my family and would do anything to repair a relationship with them.
Love your reactions! It's fun now to watch with you in real time since you're all caught up. One thing you said at the beginning, that this season is a little bit different because it's starting back in 2022, you probably don't know because you've always been watching after the fact, but this is pretty typical of the timeline for the show! It's a frequent complaint amongst longtime watchers and reactors because so often we've already found out big story lines from social media and elsewhere before they get to it on the show! People were hoping maybe they would use the opportunity of Christine's wedding and other big events to finally fast forward a bit on the show this time, but it looks like they're not, unless they do later in the season. It just made me chuckle to hear "this time is a bit different" when actually now you're just experiencing the infamous SW lag in real time with the rest of us! 😂
14:18 relationships are two way streets but in cases like the Kody's with his kids, he's never bothered with effort. Just look at what Maddie said about cutting him off because he can't commit to consistent involvement in her kids life. And even Mykelti said to have a relationship, she had to put in at least 75% of the effort. That's not a fair relationship. At this point Kody needs to put in the effort to show he isn't going to do the same old behaviors.
Such good points! When it comes to parents, in general, I think 100% effort is a great way to show children that they are loved unconditionally despite conflicts. Kody is not providing an example of that, and his stubbornness regarding being the first one to reach out, is immature not to mention childish.
This series revealed how a person passion cannot be divided romantically evenly. But most importantly that individuals deserve fullness of passion in a romantic relationship from their spouse. Most importantly the events that happened over the years made them reflect on the ethics and validity of their own religion.
Parents job to reach out to their kids!!! No matter what the age! Children (including adult children) have a built in need to be loved by those that raised them! Love unconditionally. Life is too short! ❤
If you have a look at Pop Psych David is a psychologist and he also comments on Sister wives and he has been saying for years that it is up to the parents to mend their relationship with the kids. I agree with him.
Large picture.... both. Any relationship takes both parties parent and kids, husband and wife, friend and friend. Both should reach out to each other. Both should remind the other they care and think of them. I feel it's unhealthy to sit and say I reached out last time so I'm going to wait for them to reach out next. Every relationship in our lives should be given our time. Some days you may give 70% and they give 30% but your life will get busy and that percentage will go the other way at times. The important thing is to never let the people you love and care for go without knowing that. We share equal responsibility ❤
The FOMO comment was so ridiculous. Who believes that their ex-wife can’t plan activities with her own children without you? Why would he even think he could possibly be involved in her plans with her kids after she divorced him for that kind of abandonment and mistreatment? If Cody wants to have family time so badly, he should plan it with his own kids if they’ll see him.
Why don't you just venture a try of speaking with Meri??? I feel like you guys would genuinely be the perfect compassionate, caring, open-minded interviewers to hear more of her story!!
Parent should always reach out whether it’s reciprocated or not. Parents should never stop reaching out! You don’t get to neglect your role as a parent just because your child turned eighteen. I alway reach out to my children. For many years as an adult in my fifties, I longed for my mom to just take time to call me. I always did the calling.
I think it’s the parents job to reach out if they are rejected then still pull back but never give up. I think the kids want a relationship with their father but are tired of getting disappointed (like in the case of Maddie). If he can’t be consistent then they will just love him from afar. Like I heard someone else say, a parent should not expect their kid to help them be a good parent. If he wants a relationship then take the first step. His narcissism will not allow him because he is afraid of the rejection.
great video! is there any basis to the theory that meri stayed so long because the one who ends the marriage is the one with consequences in the religion? i’ve not been able to find a lot about what happens when a marriage ends in this faith. i’m hoping the show will talk more about the aub this season.
As a counselor I believe, as a general rule, if the parents job to make the step to reach out to/ reconcile with a child. I believe there are some exceptions and times that even parents have to set boundaries with adult kids. But definitely when it's minors or very young adults, I believe the parent needs to take more responsibility.
as the oldest of 4, everything my dad came back from being a snowbird in Florida I was always the last one to be called. the older I got I was the one to call him. now I only call on his birthday, father's day, Xmas and Thanksgiving. my brother lives with him and after plastic comments about me calling, like : oh good to hear from you, I remind him he can call me but I guess he is just too good to use the phone. I stopped calling him too.
Relationships go both ways. I wish we didn’t keep track of who didn’t contact who instead- call or reach out when you think about them. My father completely stopped calling me and would have these high expectations of me calling super regularly. But he doesn’t reach out and he keeps track. It actually pushes me away. Because sometimes I call and he seems irritated or bothered. So if I’m only the only one calling it takes a long time for me. I’d really just love him to call me and say he loves me. Otherwise it feels like conditional love. And honestly, Cody has always had a conditional love with his wives- so no surprise with his adult children. He is of narcissistic personality and seems to want it to be all about him.
I honestly think that it depends on the situation. I went no contact with my mother for a lot of reasons years ago. My mother is a covert narcissist and she never listened and always made me feel guilty about everything. I had to move away to get the freedom and relief i needed. She has now worked on herself and reached out to me to apologize. That takes a lot and im very proud of the relationship we're able to have now. Some parents never try and just let it be because they think it's the childs responsiblity, but it kind of goes both ways. You want your child to reach out, but you have to put in the same effort. Kody (in my opinion) is a narcissist and behaves like a child. He does not want to admit that he is at fault for a lot of things that have happened in that family. He plays the blaming game all the time and honestly it's just annoying.
I wish more people talked about the thing Kody would always say to control his family. “Where we go one, we go all” is qanon - I hate when I see him say it, he uses it as a way to manipulate his family and it’s gross.
As a parent, I suspect you feel the same, It is always the parents’ place to reach out, we brought them into the world afterall, we should always put them first xxx
I didn't speak to my mother for over 10 years. Not once did she reach out, and that's basically all I wanted. Until she was going to take accountability in the issue we weren't speaking about, I wasn't going to. So from my perspective, we could've mended the relationship if she reached out sooner with an apology or acknowledgement. I was the one who ended up reaching out for the sake of a sibling who was stuck in the middle.
So heartbreaking but you’re not alone - 10 years, wow. A child ( adult or not) will always want to feel like they are beloved to their parents. I just can’t imagine doing that to your child (doesn’t matter the age) to not see or speak to that precious being you created because you think the adult child needs to be the one to sort out. The absolute LOVE a child must feel when a parent comes to them and says ‘we argued, and you’re too precious to me to let anything come between us, let’s fix this together’. It’s the gift of a good and beloved parent.
I didn’t know you guys were in Vegas! I’m out in Moapa, which is about 45 minutes north of here. I am also an ex Mormon and I live in a predominantly Mormon area and since I have become an apostate, I have lost all of my friends here every single one of them.
It’s the parents job to reach out to the child. It’s the parents job to provide unconditional love. This is not a battle of egos or a silent treatment because I’m right. I’m the parent and I love you, even if we don’t see eye to eye and I’m going to start the conversation.
Depends on the situation both can be appropriate..one of my four children decided thar he does not want to be involved in our family so we are respecting his boundaries however we have also sent messages and told him in person if he ever changes his mind our door is always open..and when we have sent cards they have been returned unopened...message received...however we do not believe it would be like this if he was married to someone else...
If a parent has to have a debate on whose responsibility it is to reach out, they’ve already failed and are the problem. A good parent/adult child relationship doesn’t keep track of who’s responsible to reach out. It happens naturally due to a lifetime of love and support.
100% I think it should be the parent’s responsibility to reach out… especially since many of his kids are still children or just entering adulthood. He should be the mature one.
I’m so Proud of Meri for finally taking the first step for happiness. She deserves it. Kody created this mess and needs to step up and own it like a Real man. He married these women because of religion and Not Love like Brady Williams said. Sad that Kody couldn’t have followed Brady’s example
It’s the responsibility of the parent to reach out for sure in a child-parent relationship. The parent created the relationship and so they are responsible for it
Remember, The reason they moved to Flagstaff is because Robin wanted to follow Dayton who was excepted at the college there. This was all about what Robin wants.
i’d love a video on reacting to ethel cain’s music !! she’s extremely talented with a lot of religious undertones. well, maybe not undertones because my favorite album by her is called “preacher’s daughter” lol
Parents, who should be adults, should be the ones to reach out always UNLESS a child specifically asks you not to. In most of these cases, you know why they asked.
I do feel like parents have a different responsibility to stay connected, but realistically, I think whichever person has the emotional intelligence and communication skills, to be able to reach out, across the divide.
I think it's often the thankless job of a parent to allow your children to blame you, and to take that blame if it eases them and doesn't harm you. Sometimes just taking the blame (even if it feels unjust) can diffuse a situation enough to establish a way to move forward. You can work on shouldering/processing the blame separately (preferably with a therapist) without letting it destroy a relationship with your kid(s). If Kody had the ability to separate his ego/pride from his sense of self, he'd realize it likely won't cause him much harm to just say "Sorry (insert child's name), I messed up and should've done better." But for him, admitting fault is a direct blow to his value as a person. I do think a parent can be pushed too far, we are whole people outside of our kids after all. Obviously if you're being truly harmed by your child(ren), boundaries are appropriate. But I don't think that's the case here. Kody just views ALL of his kids' feedback as "trash talk," so any conversation is a non-starter. He'll never get anywhere if he can't try to understand, validate, and take responsibility for their lived experiences.
It’s a parents job to jump into their child’s world. There were six of us and my Father had a relationship with each of us until the day he died. That’s why we surrounded him and my Mom when they were old. They were always there for us and the grandchildren.
I think as boomers we were taught to reach out to our parents. It was a sign of respect. Now it has turned. Our children are busier and it seems they should reach out when they have a free moment.
i have a polygamy question. you know how kody has put meri in the ignore her bucket for years? i've heard people (warren jeffs documentaries) say that is isn't uncommon that when a husband is over a wife he just stops paying her and her kids attention, sometimes stops funding their homes and food needs. basically staves the wife and her kids out of the family by giving her two options starve or leave and be shunned and excluded from everyone they've ever known. is there a nick name wives use to describe a woman in that situation? i mean we sw fans would probably call her the barndominium wife, because of kody's "generous" offer to meri. and we know christine used the term basement wife as a description of her role in the family. and the other wives knew the term from growing up but didn't see christine that way. what would average polygamy living people in any of the mormon sects call someone in meri's position?
Parents should reach out their kids! When you become a parent one of your many hats is being the responsible one in the relationship. Kody could cure his FOMO if he'd just be the parent and mend the relationships, he destroyed bc to him being selfish was more important than being selfless!!
I have the feeling that Meri wanted to get a release so that she could stick it to Kody and Robyn to stop him from going back to the church to get more wives.
Of all the wives, Meri was legally divorced from Kody. He was totally disrespectful to her. She doesn't need her church permission to no longer be spiritually linked to Kody. Love your channel.
Born & raised LDS. My Mom died when I was 7 after a 3 year battle with breast cancer at the age of 34. My dad married a “Robyn” 1 year later who had a daughter(13) & son(12). I had 2 sisters (12 & 3). The minute they introduced Robyn on the show, I picked up on so many behaviors in her & her kids & the whole show has made me sick watching the same type of thing happen to my dad & us girls from their same personality disorders. At 47 my dad & I have a strained relationship & he has to come to my house because his house is a mine field that he is blind to. He’s disappointed in me not turning the other cheek for the millionth time & creating boundaries to protect myself. He knows everything about his step kids, their kids & their babies, but very little about my sisters & I & our families. It’s destroyed long time relationships he & my mom had & those of his family & my Mom’s because they spoke out when we couldn’t & he told them it was just us adjusting. He’s now sealed to both my mom & “Robyn” & her kids. It’s bad knowing my dad forsake everything for his “new family” & living with that pain of being an orphan when he’s present for that family & not doing anything to repair what he’s put us girls & our half brother, he had who was 3 when he married our Mom, knowing he refused to do anything for him when he made bad decisions after my Mom died & she & our home, his safe place, was no longer available to him & he grew up in juvie for the last 4 years of his childhood to 18, is hard to forgive. My sisters & I have a relationship with him that we all work on together without my dad- he reached out to him & was so excited about hunting & fishing with his dad again, just to find a guy who is a shell of the man he was with my Mom. Watching the Sister Wives family fall apart in much the same way & the dad only truly care about her kids & family is devastating & painful.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.😢
Lord Jesus heal your broken hearts....I'm so sorry...❤
Honestly, unless a child has gone no contact I think it’s always the parents responsibility to reach out. Parents don’t get to be so prideful in their relationships with their adult children that they can’t admit when they’re wrong or at the very least that maybe they’re seeing things from two different perspectives, that’s me though.
As a parent I feel it’s my responsibility to reach out to my child if there is a conflict.
Same 👍 As the parent, I am the adult in the situation, regardless of how old my child is.
I agree. It’s always the parents job.
Narc parents never will. My mom is like Kody I went no contact life was great after for my kids and me
Exactly. It's always the parents responsibility. Not matter how old the children.
Ok, so Henry has rhebbvckdrrdddubbivakb hyster hedge m'❤❤❤
I was impressed by Christine’s Father 😊at her wedding … him being so connected to the Church , yet chose to support his daughter was really something. Not easy , for someone to put their beliefs aside to stand with your daughter . Says a lot about who she comes from . Kindness above all .
Favorite Christine moment - when she realizes she doesn't have to be married to him any more "so freaking awesome" She was SO happy in that moment, reveling in her new freedom.
Yes, but she’s also demonstrating why psychologists say divorce in social groups is contagious. It has been studied that people in the process of divorcing will discourage reconciliation within their friend group when discussing other couples’ issues. Divorce is not wonderful, is a marriage is toxic, then yes, it is best to leave it, but that doesn’t make divorce a wonderful thing. Children of divorce suffer, they have poorer success rates in their own relationships and tend to show other markers of trauma. Again, unhealthy marriages should not be endured, but people need to take more care in who they choose to marry and even more so, who they have children with. Christine’s children have a severely damaged relationship with their father, there is no way that is healthy or a happy development for the children.
@@Catmom-gl5ntAmen. Divorce is sometimes necessary for sure. But it's never a wonderful thing that should be celebrated.
It's always the parents job. No matter how old you get being the PARENT never changes.
And that's the problem here now. Kody's, Meri's, Janelle's and Robin's families have already played out. The older "children" have families of their own now and Kody's, Meri's, Janelle's and Robin's didn't let their own parents interfer with the raising of their families.
Season 19 didnt need to happen, it's over. Season 1 of the children of these polygamist unions building on 40 acres is something of interest (to me)
Kody is a narcissist. For years he has said that he wanted his wives to be friends but then when Janelle and Christine have that WITHOUT him, it’s a problem. He made his own bed and can now lie in it.
He needs CONTROL and has used these tactics of reprimanding each of his wives do attain more and more adoration from them. His ego was fed by his pushing and pulling them around and demanding their respect and “loyalty!” The vicious things he says to the wives that leave him proves that he only LOVED himself and what they could do for him!! He was not heartbroken by the wives leaving him one by one, it was him not being able to control them and their MONEY! Clearly Robyn is the favored wife and he is going to pledge his love for her because that aligns with HER game of manipulation. So sad that these kids are pawns in all this and one paid for it with his life!
@@marisatotero630
Sometimes I wonder if Kody only loves freedom, power and money.
Not really himself or others.
He has a destructive personality w embarrassing, contradicting traits of enlarged ego and victimhood.
When he cries...waaagh...
He feels justified to cross boundaries out of victimhood.
Being destructive is a very difficult trait (most difficult), because he cannot even trust himself. Unpredictable decisions and behavior. Not a stable adult.
Deep inside, I don't think he's comfortable with himself. He has moved a lot and rearranged the situation and people around him, every 8th year? By controlling others, he's trying to have some control? But it will never be enough. He should meet himself and work on that. He would prob have been happier living a gyspy style. Being on the roads with little responsibility. But his faith...
I can see him being sensitive to addiction. It's difficult when you don't love or respect yourself.
With that said, he disrespects the wives more than himself.
He's putting them down in an effort to feel good abt himself. He's in a sharp situation now. Only him and Robin. He will start to push her as well. If Robin leaves, so does much of the family money.
These are only humble speculations, of course...
As a child of absent parents, I would say it’s the parents job to reach out. We didn’t ask to be ignored, whether it’s completely ignoring or ignoring emotions needs. No child comes into this world with the responsibility of teaching a parent how to be available for them, it’s the parents job to show the child love
Who reaches out completely depends on the separation situation. In this case his kids feel so hurt by him that he should be reaching out, particularly considering wjat happened with Garrison
That is a great point!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy😢ef😂rff😢
The reason Kody thinks they are punishing him through his FOMO is because he uses withholding affection and exclusion as a punishment for the rest of the family
You nailed it. I 💯 agree
Thankfully most of them have moved on from being dependent on him affection. And that clearly pisses him off.
Yes, if the kids are around, he can distort their behavior just as he distorted the entrance of Janelle and Christine into the family. ‘Pant, pant, pant, pick me, pick me’!!!!🐶🐶🐶🐶🦴🐾
Parents should have uncondtional love for their chidlren which means giving them support when they ask and understanding when mistakes are made. Kody is incapable of providing that love because of his narcissism.
Kody’s love is always conditional!
Kody is also demonstrating multigenerational trauma. I generally hate that expression, as I believe people use it as a crutch for bad behavior or of excuse for lack of success, it’s original inception referred to people continuing destructive practices they experienced during their formative years. Kody’s father was clearly emotionally distant and demonstrated conditional love, we don’t know what Kody’s grandfather was like, but it’s safe to assume Kody’s father learned his behavior from somewhere. Kody lacked the ability to reflect on how his father failed him and to then apply this to how he parented. Instead, he just continued the same unhealthy paradigms.
I’m so glad to have found your channel! You both seem like very kind down to earth people who don’t want to push their agenda or opinion too deeply onto your viewers which I really appreciate! I love being able to form my own opinions instead of them being shoved down my throat by the content creators so just a massive huge thank you to you both! Very happy I’ve found your channel ❤
I have a dad like kody. I felt like j needed to reach outbto him continually because he felt abandoned.but after time after time of it not being one healthy visit, i tapped out and it has been great.
I'm sorry to hear that! It is so important for relationships to have a healthy balance and for you to do what is best for yourself.
I don't think Kody has FOMO I think he has a fear of everything not being about him.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Absolutely!!!!
I do feel like Meri never stopped believing, her beliefs is what kept her holding on to her marriage to Kody all this time. Great episode guys🎉 so much fun that the show aired here in Europe too this werk so we can all experience it together
I believe that we parent our kids for life. It is and will always be my responsibility to maintain contact with my children. Even now, as I'm 37 and they're 13 and 17-year-old, sometimes moody teens, it is MY job to still remind them every day of the love that I have for them even when we're not seeing eye-to-eye. My parents feel differently about the matter. In fact, it's led to us butting heads many times. Most recently, when my parents had a falling out with my younger brother over a simple misunderstanding. My mom refused to reach out to my brother for nearly a year and still sometimes avoids his calls or makes snide comments about him and his wife. I told her again and again that she should be the one to reach out, but she resisted just like Kody--albeit less loudly. So, all of that to say that as someone who doesn't have the kind of parents who reach out when there's conflict, I aim to be the opposite with my children and truly believe that I'm making the correct choice in doing so. I cannot even imagine valuing myself so highly as to feel that I couldn't be bothered to reach out to my children. Insanity.
It sounds like you're breaking a generational curse. Despite being given a bad example of compassionate parenting by your own mother, you're flipping it and providing an excellent example of unconditional love to your own children.
It sounds like you've had negative feedback from that (possibly because your behaviour makes her own poor approach look bad?). So, in case nobody else has said it, good on you! 😎 You're doing a fantastic job as a parent and your children will be happier and emotionally healthier because of it. You sound like someone they will be able to rely on and come to for advice, even as adults - and in today's world (where it's so much harder to afford a home than it was for previous generations), feeling comfortable and safe at home and not feeling like they have to escape ASAP is vital to keeping them safe and putting them on the right trajectory for a happy and successful life.
Keep doing you're thing, Mama, because you're doing it well 💖🙏👍
@t-and-p Thank you so much for your kind words! Wishing you all of the best! Xo
If your parents don’t make any kind of an effort to keep contact the kids aren’t going to be inclined to be rejected repeatedly 😢
Regarding Meri, I think I remember an older episode where there was a scene in which Meri said, or alluded to, the fact that she wouldn't leave because of her family's firm belief in their religion. I remember Meri implying that her mother would be so heartbroken or disappointed if she broke her covenant.
You deserve a play button. I watched this episode, curious to see what you think. I liked the part when Meri said to the camera "I don't care if you bleep this".
I really think that there are so many factors to be weighed when we are talking about who should be reaching out. In general I think parents should put in a lot of effort but there also has to be boundaries. No one shouldn't feel stuck in a toxic environment. Boundaries and clear expectations are important. A therapist also told me you can't force people to care about you or do anything they don't want to do no matter how much you want it.
Love seeing how far and quickly your channel has grown, congratulations ❤
That argument was so abusive on Kody’s part. It really showed the monster in him.
Everyone has their unique feelings and circumstances. My perspective is I fight for unconditional love for my children. Being right, being justified isn’t worth it. It is worth it to love freely, forgive and move on…no matter what.
I love your show and value your well thought out opinions, especially coming from your background.
We love that so much! Your children are lucky to have you! =) Thank you so much!
I really like what you have said!
Beautifully put. I totally agree, too. People fall out over the silliest things, but nothing is important enough to lose your children over.
Finally. Was hoping you would cover this. Thank you.😊
Aww thanks! Thank you for watching!
I think it’s the parent’s responsibility to reach out. They made those kids. Parents should have the emotional maturity to be the bigger person and work things out. Now that’s not to say that if you have a very rebellious child who defies you at every turn, that you have to continually grovel to have a relationship. But in the case of the Brown family, I don’t believe that to be the case. Cody is a spoiled child who has the emotional maturity of a two year old. All he does is point the finger and blame everyone but himself. There is very little honest self-reflection where he takes any responsibility yet he is the only common denominator in every failed relationship. I think his kids should run as fast as they can away from him.
So well put!
The Brown family broke apart years ago 😢
Parents' job to set example and reach out. Kids' job to be open minded and accept the olive branch
I think pride goeth before the fall. Kodys pride is keeping him from reaching out and if he doesn’t realize what’s really important and that relationships take 2 people who are willing to work at those relationships and admit when they’re wrong and show grace and love to each other then there will be no relationship. A parent is supposed to have unconditional love for their children. No one is perfect but even if the child decides to break away the parent should make sure they know that they’re loved and are there for them when/if they want to come back.
So well said! Couldn't agree more!
Kody and Robyn continue to remain in denial about their role in things and play the victims.
Meri seems much more open to criticizing Kody and swearing him out.
At least, the baby sprinkle was less awkward than the good bye party.
As for kids and parents, it's 50/50 BUT only if it's reciprocated. It shouldn't be forced.
I think Mari stayed because of her faith and not wanting to disappoint her mother. Her only out was for Kody to make the first move. He did that very clearly. I also think Meri choosing to have her eternal marriage dissolved has a two-fold reason. Firstly as she stated, why would she want to spend eternity with him. Secondly, if Kody thinks he still has the benefit of eternal marriage with Robin, Janelle, and Meri then he is set in the afterlife. Mere takes that possibility away from him.
The magical thinking of polygamy defies any reality. Kody would have his own planet & be a g-d who calls his wives to live with him thru eternity. That's a lot to put together or believe.
I always found it funny that he goes on and on about how Robin is the only one who's been loyal etc.. yet here we have Meri who has been staying and waiting patiently for him to notice her and work on their marriage. how much more loyalty can there be??
I feel like the move with Ysebel - his “fomo” wouldn’t have been a thing if he was communicating with Ysebel. She would have said, “I’m moving back to Utah” and he could have offered his help. It just shows he wasn’t talking to Ysebel in my opinion.
No fomo about her back surgery either
As a mother of 3 grown children, with 8 grandchildren, I believe it is always the parents responsibility to reach out. I would do anything for my family and would do anything to repair a relationship with them.
IMO It’s the parent’s job to keep reaching out to the child no matter the child’s age. I love my children unconditionally.
You guys are getting so good! That was a better male / female intro than every Grammy Nomination I've ever seen.
Love your reactions! It's fun now to watch with you in real time since you're all caught up.
One thing you said at the beginning, that this season is a little bit different because it's starting back in 2022, you probably don't know because you've always been watching after the fact, but this is pretty typical of the timeline for the show! It's a frequent complaint amongst longtime watchers and reactors because so often we've already found out big story lines from social media and elsewhere before they get to it on the show! People were hoping maybe they would use the opportunity of Christine's wedding and other big events to finally fast forward a bit on the show this time, but it looks like they're not, unless they do later in the season.
It just made me chuckle to hear "this time is a bit different" when actually now you're just experiencing the infamous SW lag in real time with the rest of us! 😂
14:18 relationships are two way streets but in cases like the Kody's with his kids, he's never bothered with effort. Just look at what Maddie said about cutting him off because he can't commit to consistent involvement in her kids life. And even Mykelti said to have a relationship, she had to put in at least 75% of the effort. That's not a fair relationship. At this point Kody needs to put in the effort to show he isn't going to do the same old behaviors.
Such good points! When it comes to parents, in general, I think 100% effort is a great way to show children that they are loved unconditionally despite conflicts. Kody is not providing an example of that, and his stubbornness regarding being the first one to reach out, is immature not to mention childish.
From what little I've seen of the show, Kody is too narcissistic to give any effort that doesn't involve control.
It is absolutely the parents’ responsibility to reach out to the kids until the parents become elderly.
You watched 19 seasons? Your dedication to the channel is admirable.
Well done with the opening guys. Ive watched your content for a while now and I think the new intro stuff will help your channel grow.
Yes! another season, new reactions. 🎉❤
This series revealed how a person passion cannot be divided romantically evenly. But most importantly that individuals deserve fullness of passion in a romantic relationship from their spouse. Most importantly the events that happened over the years made them reflect on the ethics and validity of their own religion.
I love that intro!! ❤ Love you guys
Kody having FOMO now he gets to feel what sacred loneliness feels like missing out on the fun side of the family.
Parents job to reach out to their kids!!! No matter what the age! Children (including adult children) have a built in need to be loved by those that raised them! Love unconditionally. Life is too short! ❤
Kody is not mentally well
If you have a look at Pop Psych David is a psychologist and he also comments on Sister wives and he has been saying for years that it is up to the parents to mend their relationship with the kids. I agree with him.
New subscriber “!! Loved the interview with Brady and really nice to see that your covering sister wives too
It's the parents job to reach out if the parents want to have a better relationship with their kids.
He’s been gaslighted by Robin, he needs to figure out what is truth first himself!!
Large picture.... both. Any relationship takes both parties parent and kids, husband and wife, friend and friend. Both should reach out to each other. Both should remind the other they care and think of them. I feel it's unhealthy to sit and say I reached out last time so I'm going to wait for them to reach out next. Every relationship in our lives should be given our time. Some days you may give 70% and they give 30% but your life will get busy and that percentage will go the other way at times. The important thing is to never let the people you love and care for go without knowing that. We share equal responsibility ❤
The FOMO comment was so ridiculous. Who believes that their ex-wife can’t plan activities with her own children without you? Why would he even think he could possibly be involved in her plans with her kids after she divorced him for that kind of abandonment and mistreatment? If Cody wants to have family time so badly, he should plan it with his own kids if they’ll see him.
Why don't you just venture a try of speaking with Meri??? I feel like you guys would genuinely be the perfect compassionate, caring, open-minded interviewers to hear more of her story!!
Parent should always reach out whether it’s reciprocated or not. Parents should never stop reaching out! You don’t get to neglect your role as a parent just because your child turned eighteen. I alway reach out to my children. For many years as an adult in my fifties, I longed for my mom to just take time to call me. I always did the calling.
I think it’s the parents job to reach out if they are rejected then still pull back but never give up. I think the kids want a relationship with their father but are tired of getting disappointed (like in the case of Maddie). If he can’t be consistent then they will just love him from afar. Like I heard someone else say, a parent should not expect their kid to help them be a good parent. If he wants a relationship then take the first step. His narcissism will not allow him because he is afraid of the rejection.
great video! is there any basis to the theory that meri stayed so long because the one who ends the marriage is the one with consequences in the religion? i’ve not been able to find a lot about what happens when a marriage ends in this faith. i’m hoping the show will talk more about the aub this season.
We're all in at this point! haha =)
As a counselor I believe, as a general rule, if the parents job to make the step to reach out to/ reconcile with a child. I believe there are some exceptions and times that even parents have to set boundaries with adult kids. But definitely when it's minors or very young adults, I believe the parent needs to take more responsibility.
I feel the parent never stops being the parent. Obviously contact goes both ways but I feel the greater responsibility should be on the parent.
🤘
I only know of sister wives in detail because of your fresh eyes on it. Loving this series.
Thank you so much! 😊
as the oldest of 4, everything my dad came back from being a snowbird in Florida I was always the last one to be called. the older I got I was the one to call him. now I only call on his birthday, father's day, Xmas and Thanksgiving. my brother lives with him and after plastic comments about me calling, like : oh good to hear from you, I remind him he can call me but I guess he is just too good to use the phone. I stopped calling him too.
Kody left the OG3 as soon as he got involved with Robyn
Oooooh new intro!
Thanks for noticing! Trying to spice it up haha =)
Relationships go both ways. I wish we didn’t keep track of who didn’t contact who instead- call or reach out when you think about them. My father completely stopped calling me and would have these high expectations of me calling super regularly. But he doesn’t reach out and he keeps track. It actually pushes me away. Because sometimes I call and he seems irritated or bothered. So if I’m only the only one calling it takes a long time for me. I’d really just love him to call me and say he loves me. Otherwise it feels like conditional love.
And honestly, Cody has always had a conditional love with his wives- so no surprise with his adult children. He is of narcissistic personality and seems to want it to be all about him.
I honestly think that it depends on the situation. I went no contact with my mother for a lot of reasons years ago. My mother is a covert narcissist and she never listened and always made me feel guilty about everything. I had to move away to get the freedom and relief i needed. She has now worked on herself and reached out to me to apologize. That takes a lot and im very proud of the relationship we're able to have now. Some parents never try and just let it be because they think it's the childs responsiblity, but it kind of goes both ways. You want your child to reach out, but you have to put in the same effort.
Kody (in my opinion) is a narcissist and behaves like a child. He does not want to admit that he is at fault for a lot of things that have happened in that family. He plays the blaming game all the time and honestly it's just annoying.
I wish more people talked about the thing Kody would always say to control his family. “Where we go one, we go all” is qanon - I hate when I see him say it, he uses it as a way to manipulate his family and it’s gross.
As a parent, I suspect you feel the same, It is always the parents’ place to reach out, we brought them into the world afterall, we should always put them first xxx
Children did not ask to be here. It is Always the parent’s responsibility to initiate a resolution with their children
Robyn kept giving Meri hope that Kody would come around and want to be with Meri again
Parents should always keep the olive branch extended.
I was getting clips of the new season on TikTok and was hoping you guys would react to it because I refuse to watch it LOL
LOL We are happy to suffer through for you! haha =)
I didn't speak to my mother for over 10 years. Not once did she reach out, and that's basically all I wanted. Until she was going to take accountability in the issue we weren't speaking about, I wasn't going to. So from my perspective, we could've mended the relationship if she reached out sooner with an apology or acknowledgement. I was the one who ended up reaching out for the sake of a sibling who was stuck in the middle.
So heartbreaking but you’re not alone - 10 years, wow. A child ( adult or not) will always want to feel like they are beloved to their parents. I just can’t imagine doing that to your child (doesn’t matter the age) to not see or speak to that precious being you created because you think the adult child needs to be the one to sort out. The absolute LOVE a child must feel when a parent comes to them and says ‘we argued, and you’re too precious to me to let anything come between us, let’s fix this together’. It’s the gift of a good and beloved parent.
I didn’t know you guys were in Vegas! I’m out in Moapa, which is about 45 minutes north of here. I am also an ex Mormon and I live in a predominantly Mormon area and since I have become an apostate, I have lost all of my friends here every single one of them.
It’s the parents job to reach out to the child. It’s the parents job to provide unconditional love. This is not a battle of egos or a silent treatment because I’m right. I’m the parent and I love you, even if we don’t see eye to eye and I’m going to start the conversation.
Depends on the situation both can be appropriate..one of my four children decided thar he does not want to be involved in our family so we are respecting his boundaries however we have also sent messages and told him in person if he ever changes his mind our door is always open..and when we have sent cards they have been returned unopened...message received...however we do not believe it would be like this if he was married to someone else...
If a parent has to have a debate on whose responsibility it is to reach out, they’ve already failed and are the problem. A good parent/adult child relationship doesn’t keep track of who’s responsible to reach out. It happens naturally due to a lifetime of love and support.
It is 100% the parents job to reach out.
100% I think it should be the parent’s responsibility to reach out… especially since many of his kids are still children or just entering adulthood. He should be the mature one.
I’m so Proud of Meri for finally taking the first step for happiness. She deserves it. Kody created this mess and needs to step up and own it like a Real man. He married these women because of religion and Not Love like Brady Williams said. Sad that Kody couldn’t have followed Brady’s example
It’s the responsibility of the parent to reach out for sure in a child-parent relationship. The parent created the relationship and so they are responsible for it
Remember, The reason they moved to Flagstaff is because Robin wanted to follow Dayton who was excepted at the college there. This was all about what Robin wants.
i’d love a video on reacting to ethel cain’s music !! she’s extremely talented with a lot of religious undertones. well, maybe not undertones because my favorite album by her is called “preacher’s daughter” lol
Parents, who should be adults, should be the ones to reach out always UNLESS a child specifically asks you not to. In most of these cases, you know why they asked.
Parent’s job, hands down. That’s the position Pop Psych has taken as well.
I do feel like parents have a different responsibility to stay connected, but realistically, I think whichever person has the emotional intelligence and communication skills, to be able to reach out, across the divide.
Only watch recaps, not watching the show, too far behind, lets see if it ends, hope so.
I think it's often the thankless job of a parent to allow your children to blame you, and to take that blame if it eases them and doesn't harm you. Sometimes just taking the blame (even if it feels unjust) can diffuse a situation enough to establish a way to move forward. You can work on shouldering/processing the blame separately (preferably with a therapist) without letting it destroy a relationship with your kid(s).
If Kody had the ability to separate his ego/pride from his sense of self, he'd realize it likely won't cause him much harm to just say "Sorry (insert child's name), I messed up and should've done better." But for him, admitting fault is a direct blow to his value as a person.
I do think a parent can be pushed too far, we are whole people outside of our kids after all. Obviously if you're being truly harmed by your child(ren), boundaries are appropriate. But I don't think that's the case here. Kody just views ALL of his kids' feedback as "trash talk," so any conversation is a non-starter. He'll never get anywhere if he can't try to understand, validate, and take responsibility for their lived experiences.
It’s a parents job to jump into their child’s world. There were six of us and my Father had a relationship with each of us until the day he died. That’s why we surrounded him and my Mom when they were old. They were always there for us and the grandchildren.
I’m so excited to watch this!!!! Starting now!!!!
Spending eternity with Kody would be Hell.
You should reach out to meri and the other sister wives... They have done some UA-cam interviews and you 2 are fair and not "gotcha people"
Ooh love the fancy opener guys!!!
Thank you so much! We're experimenting haha =)
I like it as well :)
I think as boomers we were taught to reach out to our parents. It was a sign of respect. Now it has turned. Our children are busier and it seems they should reach out when they have a free moment.
It's the parents' responsibility, period.
i have a polygamy question. you know how kody has put meri in the ignore her bucket for years? i've heard people (warren jeffs documentaries) say that is isn't uncommon that when a husband is over a wife he just stops paying her and her kids attention, sometimes stops funding their homes and food needs. basically staves the wife and her kids out of the family by giving her two options starve or leave and be shunned and excluded from everyone they've ever known. is there a nick name wives use to describe a woman in that situation? i mean we sw fans would probably call her the barndominium wife, because of kody's "generous" offer to meri. and we know christine used the term basement wife as a description of her role in the family. and the other wives knew the term from growing up but didn't see christine that way. what would average polygamy living people in any of the mormon sects call someone in meri's position?
Parents should reach out their kids! When you become a parent one of your many hats is being the responsible one in the relationship. Kody could cure his FOMO if he'd just be the parent and mend the relationships, he destroyed bc to him being selfish was more important than being selfless!!
i dont watch the show bt enjoy your reviews! ❤
I have the feeling that Meri wanted to get a release so that she could stick it to Kody and Robyn to stop him from going back to the church to get more wives.
Of all the wives, Meri was legally divorced from Kody. He was totally disrespectful to her. She doesn't need her church permission to no longer be spiritually linked to Kody. Love your channel.
You always choose your children over a narcissist.