She Broke The Silence After Three Generations of Abuse. And Paid a Price For It.
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2016
- If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse call or visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org/
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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A Woman's Place is a two part initiative combining story telling elements of narrative film and short documentary clips of real stories to raise awareness about domestic abuse #1StoryAtaTime
Our funding is donor based, learn more on our website. Subscribe to our newsletter and donate today at: awomansplacefilm.com
#awomansplace is free from abuse!
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Rose was born into a family that had suffered abuse, addiction, and mental illness for generations. They kept it all secret. As a teen she began to drink and harm herself looking for a way out. Her relationships as an adult abusive as well - because she didn't know she was worth more. When she finally spoke up about all the secrets and abuse, she lost her family, and for a time, her children. But now she is living a quite life, her daughters are healthy, and they have successfully broken free from the abuse they lived in for so long.
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You can learn more about our projects at our website: aWomansPlaceFilm.com
Videos in the docu-series are part of an oral history of survivors of domestic abuse, with the purpose of raising awareness. None of these stories have been verified. They have been edited for clarity.
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#awomansplace Documentary film series produced by Monica Graves, & Jessica Bork
If you were never in a abusive family or experienced domestic violence you have no place to comment against this lady. You have no idea what it's like to be raised in DV.
I was for sure.
Exactly!
Amen to that
Exactly! They have the same rights we do... really?
Agreed 💯
It is completely mind-boggling how the courts end up siding with abusers, SO many times.
"Standing in truth even if it means standing alone"
Thank you
That is the only way to stand!
The most powerful words in the documentary.
There's so much sadness in your voice. It's palpable. The video is 2 years old but I hope that telling your story brought you some degree of comfort. You've suffered enough.
The ones in a dysfunctional family who do their healing work are always the ones branded as crazy, when in fact they are the bravest and healthiest ones.
They are the true hero's.
Cycle breakers rock!! 🙌🏻
I came from dysfunctional families myself.
Yeah but it sucks losing everything. I ask myself if it was worth it.
@@crustyrash it was so worth it to me. I got myself back, and both my physical and emotional health improved. And I really didn't lose anything, as what I was holding on to was worth nothing, compared to what I gained.
Why do mothers dismiss their married daughters and say, "..now he's a good provider" as though that's more important than your safety needs. Thank you for your story. You are so brave.
I agree. It's such a superficial detail compared with the importance of daily well being, emotional safety and being treated with respect. Some "mothers" are trash.
@@zoraxye4325 .you are talking about my mother who is beyond trash.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Good Provider?? how sad that women can be coached in this way... Living a life of dignity is worth far more than dollars can ever provide.. Kudos to this woman, and all others who live a life of abuse. So sad... :-(
They are doing what they saw or was told ...generational.
I'm still recovering from abusive childhood and 16 year abusive marriage. I'm 10 years out of it all thank God!
You Go Girl!
@@martysmith2159 🙂
You go girl! I send you blessings.
This woman is an absolute hero.God bless and protect her and her family and may justice be done.You have all my respect.🙏💕
I can hear the pain in your voice, I send you my Love .
I hear her pain, too. And I send my love to her.
“The healthiest one seeks treatment.” Thanks for the validation. I’m the eldest of six and have been in therapy for years.
I’ve always thought I was a loser, because I was “mentally unstable”. I know better now, at 76.
Thank you. ❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm 66 and working in myself
I just discovered that the way I felt and acted was directly from the childhood abuse and sexual abuse. Watch The Crappy Childhood Fairy about Childhood PTSD and recovery.
Here Here. Moi aussi
Thank you
The best recovery will be spiritual, hiking,yoga,meditation.
What a strong woman.
Im so proud of you for breaking the cycle. You are not "standing alone", you are "standing strong!" Yours is a tragic yet inspiring story. I'm sending you a virtual hug! ❤️
💗
Strongest survivor I've ever seen. ❤
Wow. She has incredible strength. Tears in my eyes.
I can’t imagine this kind of abuse. I know I’m damaged from abuse, but I can’t imagine it on this level.
"Standing in truth, even it means standing alone." Thank so much for the advice. I will take it my heart forever. You are an extraordinary woman.
Watching this lady tell us about what she endured is heartbreaking. She was so honest and painfully matter of fact.
The healthiest one is the one that gets treatment. The one that asks the questions. The one that talk about it. The one that refuses to let it pass down yet another generation.
The won that's actually ,acts
They tell women to reach out but rarely do they get the help they need.
Correction: "... but rarely do they provide the help that women need."
I so admire your courage for not only exposing your secrets....but for continuing to live. Please know I understand each emotion you shared.For people who ask " Why didn't you just leave?"...... They refuse to understand the dynamics of domestic abuse. May you have comfort and peace.
Damn, that's one hell of a strong woman!!
Sure enough! She had to be. The bright light that is shining upon her is none to be compared with. She had that divine intervention and kept going. Good for her and her strength. To say and do what she's doing takes courage.
Wow! Standing in truth even if it means standing alone.
I know isn't that a great quote.
I am so happy for Rose that she is doing well and that her children are happy and thriving. I also come from a family of generations of abuse, addiction, and mental illness. I am the only one who ever came out and told the truth about what happened. Unfortunately, I have lost my family over it (adult children and golden child brother) because they just think I'm crazy and the one with the problem. God Bless you Rose.
Terri Anonymous yup me too. Every mutherfucker looking at me like I hurt him.
I was 4 years old. I’m 50 now and still fucked up
You are not alone. l moved to another continent to get away from those who she carried in the womb for 9 months while she had me in her ass. all she did was to shit and l was treated like shit until l made up my mind l would rather die getting away from these beasts.
Her kids are not thriving, especially not her daughter...
@@t.r.1457 how come"s? did l miss something ?.
I've commented on this post so many times. I have one more thing to say about this brave lady. She is the healthiest of all in her family. She is describing herself as a scapegoat too. The family scapegoat is always the most accomplished in the family. What a brave and well lady.
Rose, thank you for being so brave and sharing your story.
“The healthiest one ends up in treatment” - comforting to know this. Breaking the silence is so powerful- thank you for sharing your story.
I'm so sorry. Thank you for telling your story. I pray for all healing.
You are very courageous for sharing your extremely painful story!!! May others heal because of hearing your story!!! Plz nourish your heart and soul and continue to stay away from harmful souls!!!
Humans need help. The ones who seek mental health help are definitely the saner ones than the ones who don't. So heartbreaking.
A former friend thought my families were mentally sick and sadly refused to get help instead accused me for their behaviors yet alone habits.
@@krystalrussell1783 I'm sorry to hear that your family made you look like you were crazy.😞
God bless you Rose, You are a survivor!!! And by you speaking out you stopped the secrets and abuse. I pray that you are doing well. Thank you for sharing your life story. 💜
It's a shame that adults bring their evil upon innocent children.
To stop the cycle, stop having kids.
Adult men....bring this on.....
The court takes a long time to figure this out.
Actually, they like to wait until the kids are supremely brain damaged before they call "justice."
Thanks for sharing! You're a STRONG woman who has lived hell on earth! You didn't ask for this in your life. I, too., have experienced many of the same things you have in your life. I hope someday I'll have the courage to tell my story. Sending you many virtual hugs! The memories never leave us! Why does this happen to people and other people live wonderful lives?
Sorry..but they know just what they are doing
The court system is deseigned to make money and protect the abuser. Statistics are high in abuse
Justice goes to the highest bidder
That's a shame what the courts do with their power. They need to step aside and out. They let too many good people like this brave lady fall through the cracks. The cracks they are aware of and do nothing about.
Please do not feel you stand alone , your story or parts of your story resonates with so many of us. You are a woman of courage. You broke free and you did it for your children but you too are worthy of respect and deserve to be loved. I wish you and your daughters healing.
The healthiest one seeks treatment.
"The healthiest ones wind up in treatment." Beautiful.
Thankyou So much Rose....for sharing your Truth.....You have no idea how many woman and families you will touch and trigger to go into therapy and empower to leave Toxic Situations.....I am a therapist of 18 years working on many unravellings of where this original dysfunctional pathriarcal energy comes from and how it weaves into families on the male and female lineages.....to heal and unravel....Biggest Love, Light and Gratitude to you Rose....You are Loved Always xxxxxxxx
Powerful. Thank you. I have been alone- no relationship since 1996. Thankfully no children so no damage there. We have to start telling our stories or the cycles will never be broken. I also am not in touch with family.
Stand in truth even if it means standing alone ✊🙏 may ur story change lives. Love you so much 💗💖💗 love all the way from australia.
Thank you for sharing your story.
You did what you could do at that time.
You mustn’t ever blame yourself.
You are a beautiful, brave and smart lady.
You broke the generations of abuse.
The help for domestic abused woman is not sufficient
Not only abused women
Absolutely
There is not enough help out there for abused women.
Nor children. Her trauma started from a young age
@@NetiNeti-gm5bz I was trapped in a marriage to a muslim man
I cried listening to Rose story... because what some parents (including mines)don't seem to understand is that they have the power to build their child up for greatness, or absolutely fail them for the voltures that are lurking to devour..I also had a mother who seem not to care for me the proper way. She abused me and my other siblings to the point of choking one of my sister around her neck with her bare hands until she would passed out on several occasions, she would torture me with spiders because I told her I was very afraid of them.. she did many abusive things to me, with mental and physical..What she did was damage me to have no voice and no self esteem. I became a walking mat for others to walk all over me. .I had no self worth. I am now trying to heal myself from those damaging words spoken to me, and the physical abuse done which broke me as a child. .I too am like Rose I cannot trust to date..have been taken advantage of too many times...I choose to stay single..Rose I'm proud of you...keep on striving towards happiness.
Michelle, you made me cry. I can relate. I can almost put myself in your past shoes. I never realized that keeping a closed mouth about the abuse I endured from the hands of my VERY abusive mother and then to be abused by a foster family after that it would mar my self-esteem. It's lower than low most of the time. It's crazy bcuz I'm not an ugly woman so why? My mom beat me so much that I wet the bed EVERY night. Then the worse about even THAT, she would wake me with a belt.....the actual buckle bcuz the strap itself wasn't enough for her, just to scrub whatever I wet up. Her weapons of choice were, wire hangers, extention cords, she broke afro comb on the back of my hand! Do u know how hard u have to swing an afro comb for it to break? I do! Devastating era of my life. Not to mention the sexual abuse at the hands of my own brother. Bcuz of the mental and physical abuse by my mom & brother, I don't feel like I'm a 40 yr old WOMAN. I feel more like a GIRL that hasn't been able to grow up properly. I wasn't taught anything about life. But I am one of the sweeeetest, yet fragile people you could ever meet. I let people walk all over me at times. People ask me for something, I don't know how to say no. But thanks to my fiance, no one cam get over in me lol. Thank God for my strong-minded fiance. He keeps me feeling good about myself and keeps me afloat. I love him forever for that. But I'm so glad I read this little snippet of your life. God bless you Michelle dear and everything you do. Thank you so much for sharing that. U never know what small gestures would mean a lot. I'm sure, just like myself, u could write a book on your life. Something I would love to do. Again, God bless and take care.
Freckled Beauty.... thank you for sharing snippets of what you had gone through going up as a child. I also cried reading it as I could feel the pain you had to endure. Seem as though we shared the same similar household growing up...I too was sexually abused at the hands of one of my older brothers when I was around the age of 3 or 4...I can't seem to remember much after that age as to whether the sexual abuse continued or not... perhaps because this was such a painful time in my life, I could have subconciously blocked it out. (I have 6 brothers altogether.) I remember being around the age of 11 or 12 when two of my other brothers... one being my twin and the other a year older then me held each of my arms while yet another brother around the age of 20 was trying to pull off my pajama bottoms to rape me...I fought with great physical strength and pulled from everything on the inside of me to not let this horrendous thing happen again..(I won)..I manage to get away without the rape occuring, but my pajama bottoms were all torn and ripped apart. What saddened my heart is ...aren't brothers suppose to protect there little sister? Mines have never..I have 3 older sisters.. two are deceased now, but sexual abuse found them too at the hands of my first perpetrator. He abused many in the family including his own daughters and I believe sons as well..abuse was my life growing up...my mom's favorite things to use to abuse her children was extension cords, switches from trees, shoes, practically anything she could grab. I remember taking a bath with my twin brother when we were very young... My mom came into the bathroom with the extension cord and began swinging it wildly beating my brother and I until we we welted ( big welts) from our neck to our feet ..it seem like she went crazy and would not stop...we were never given an explanation of what we did wrong. I just remember looking at the welts on my thighs and arms,( I was very light skinned they showed up very well.) and trying not to cry which would have caused her to start beating me all over again...she would always tell us to shut up as she was beating us...THUS rendering why as an adult I had no voice and was walked on like a mat. I didn't feel as though I could speak up if I was wronged...I have said many times in my life "I could write a book on my life and it would be a best seller" Not knowing there were many adults who had very similiar lives as I had growing up. I am very happy to hear that you found someone to be your knight in shining armor. You deserve it. Continue to thrive and be the best YOU you can be. May God's blessings shower down over you and your fiance life together.. always..😊
Michelle - Sweetheart Sister-
& OF COURSE the EXTREMELY very brave writer if this article-
count me as your friend both of you; in this. I understand. The best thing for me at 57! 57!! An aweful long time to keep in silence. God is So so close to us recovering & Isiah 61 brings me much strength. I feel the greatest we can do to get Free is to find a therapist who
Has to have experienced abuse themselves. I was silenced by narcissistic spiritual abuse so so long that I wept last week after finally finding my helper for therapy . ...just knowing another 'gets us '-
and the Silence(=shaming ) is now broken is the Best we can do to start to recoverv ourselves.
My own mention of it being 'just'emotional; is not the reality; as I then went on; as our dear Sister in Recovery here did to more severe ABUSE of all kinds after
Till we put a Stop to it.
Calling it out and getting therapy is such an incredible feeling
But we also need to be Very careful we get the right person.
The last thetspistcwas abusive man
But soon spotted it & reported him.
It is So VITAL they understand abuse themselves...
Like our friend here
Often we are so silenced by all the manipulations ; & this is what narcissists do...enrol others in our circle so we are isolated....all about pathetic power for them..
I recommend highly the book,:"in Sheep's clothing"by George Simon
How to deal with the manipulative person"
& the YT:- "KNowing the Narcissist",- has brilliant tips to avoid such people. He is one himself & spookily tells us what they seek as fuel. I have been past 3 years in very low contact now & have followed many narcissistic to recovery sites but his and "Smakintosh"-i find the best(as I'm a Christian I like his angle
"When God goes No contact"-especially good
They need fuel to exist and we have to as soon as we can; learn All we can to get boundaries to spot them & keep us as unattractive to them by bring aware to their ways= hiding Who they really are= evil.
By knowing the facts we become very unattractive to them & then we can try to help protect others. They Love empathy & codependants. Much love to you both & all here who have suffered. May we all find Power & great Boldness
@@DoubleRainbows-fp6ih thank you so much for your kind words and recommendation for both the book and yt video I will definitely look onto both of them because we must arm ourselves with the knowledge of these types of people, so that we can protect ourselves from these predators; Thats exactly what they are..PREDATORS.. there's an awakening happening in the world for all of us that are hurting, or have been hurt to understand, so that we can come out of the bondage and get healing...The Lord is tired of his people hurting and suffering in silence..Judith..God bless you with complete healing, joy, and happiness as I pray for all of his people that are suffering.
Michelle you have been through so much. I am praying for healing for you. God bless you, precious Michelle 💟
Thank you so much for sharing your story, people who haven't been in abusive relationship don't understand how hard it is to leave and protect your children. After 17 years in an abusive relationship, I finally left with my 2 teenage girls. That was 2 years ago, we are all on the journey to recovery, we are all going through therapy and taking things slowly. I really sympathise with you as, sometimes I thought of leaving him and leave behind my girls with him as I was the only one being abused. However, I knew that the moment I left he would just start abusing my girls. So I stayed and made a plan to leave with my children. It was a long and arduous journey but finally I have my girls with me.
I'm so sorry you had to experience this! I pray for your healing. May Angels surround you!
When my ex was abusing me and my daughter, I got us out of there as soon as I could and didn't bother pressing charges. When a woman who knew is caught up and heard what happened, she asked why I didn't call police. I answered, what would they have done?! They would have done nothing.
The scene she described with her children feeding her and putting the Mary statue next to her just breaks my heart. 😭😭😭
I am so very sorry you and your children went through all of this. I'm holding a space in my heart for you of safety and peace.
‘Standing in truth, even if it means standing alone’, that’s excellent advice.
I just love the people judging this woman and her story. Like they have any business doing so! You are shameful people and unless you have lived her exact same life you should just sit down and shut up.
You are so articulate. Amazing! I can't tell our story, the shame chokes me. The system that is supposed protect...backfires.
Well said !!!
Your comment is judgemental in 2 ways:
1. You have judged her comments to be accurate - they may be but how do you know??
2. You have judged the people who expressed a different opinion to your own.
I can't see why she would expose herself in this way without some reason but in reality I have no idea
@@debrac1688 are you safe now?
Your so. Right. One day they will stand before god for judging her how in Christ's name could u judge someone who was abused and hurt and not loved don't get me started
Thank you for sharing your story. I am a survivor also of being molested by my brother growing up. My Mom walked in on it. Then the way she talked to me she was blaming me. I also was molested by my cousin and neighbor boy. But I hat bothers me to the day, I am 56 years old, why would my parents still allow my brother to live at home. I tell my own children the cycle of abuse has to stop. Breaking the cycle.
This is so heart breaking..... it's one abuse after another.. including the system . How can someone maintain their sanity!!! I hope she and her children are well.
I want to hug all children being abused. They are so frightened and doing everything their little minds can imagine to cope. We have failed as a nation to protect those who cannot speak for themselves. Women should protect their children above all else, that includes before having boyfriends. When your children grow up you have plenty time to find love again.
I remarried after an abusive relationship with three kids. I met a wonderful man. My children love him dearly as he became their father. I think it's important for children to have a good role model. But I waited two years and did therapy first.
My heart just shattered listening to this. My God what you and your children have been through. There are judges who have no business being in the positions they’re in. I pray life is better for all of you now. The evil individuals who have hurt you and your children have a place in hell. You are a brave, strong woman for telling your story. May you find a reason to smile every day. Hugs.
I stand alone in my truth as well ❤️ thank you for sharing your story
@8:30 - Great therapist to say "the healthiest person ends up in therapy" not many people, let alone professionals understand that.
merncat75
I learned at AA that the people who show up at AA are the chosen ones.
As a sober grandma, I feel so happy my family knows me , free from alcohol.
All I did was show up.
The ones in therapy are the unsung true heroes.
Marty Smith big call some people are filled with such shame they’re unable to speak , are they less than ?
@@ellencampbell3921 that is beautiful 💞
@@vikkievenden9988 I know your comment and question were not directed at me but coming from someone who understands how difficult it is to open up to strangers, therapists or not, especially since I could never open up to ANYONE, including family members or friends.. no, they are absolutely NOT less than.. I just believe that it's not about the therapist or what they think.. it's about letting go of that shame, guilt or pain for yourself, in order to be the person you were meant to be.
I also know how difficult it is to find the right therapist.. someone you can feel comfortable with, someone who doesn't look at you as if they are judging or doesn't space out as if they have somewhere else they'd rather be.. someone who truly cares, which is hard to find.
It takes a lot of guts, inner strength and willingness to be "weak" and vulnerable in order to go to therapy.. it could take years which is extremely draining mentally and even physically.
I also don't believe that traditional therapy is for everyone. some people need to work things out on their own in a different way. I love the idea of people offering virtual life coaching online (just have to research the person and make sure they have their own life together before taking advice from them)
There is a guy on here who has a UA-cam channel called *Wounded Viking* he has been through Hell and back.. maybe in a different way than other people.. like for example, he has battled cancer 3 times already in his young life, where other people are suffering from childhood trauma and abuse but the message is still the same. I don't know if I'm making any sense at this point but hopefully I am. 💞
How is this poor woman still alive? She's lived about 5 lives, containing more inter-generational abuse of every variety than most of us will ever experience in one.
You're a wonder, honey.
What's so scary about the abuse cycle, is that we UNCONSCIOUSLY seek out the familiar, not the good, if it's what we're used to. So what appears to be a bad run of luck; one abusive partner after the next, is actually just a gravitational pull towards what we know: our NORMAL. Until we are conscious of this, it's hard for change to come.
This kind of thing is no respecter of class, money or status. Happens in high society too.
I agree with some of what you say but statistics show one out of TWO women live in abuse during their lifetime! Every time I sit in a room of women I can tell by most women's body language and the way they talk that a LOT of them are STILL living in this hell with their children, if they have any. I will quote Sigmund Fruede (sp) "before you go diagnosing yourself with depression, anxiety or anything, make sure you are not surrounded by ass holes" AND I add generationally SICK PEOPLE! AND remember one out of two families have SOME type of dysfunction! The BEST way to get better IS to remove yourself from the target area AND go NO CONTACT as much as possible, even sometimes ALWAYS! Our WORLD is a mess because of this. It's been going on for Generations! My story like hers and so many others are pretty much the same. Good counseling, even group therapy, and sometimes medicine is needed. Stay away from AA and Al a non. A LOT of preditors in those rooms! Ex: my sponsor slept with my husband in nice words. DON'T INVITE ANY of these strangers to your HOUSE! From my OWN AND OTHER'S personal experience!Do your research on this! It's all over Utube! I find Smart Recovery and CODA, (Co-Dependents Anonymous) works more on the behaviors, than listening to and co signing drunk a log stories. I personally haven't re married after finally divorcing my abusive ex husband. I've dated but never allowed anyone to treat me like he or his family did, EVER! I have very little contact with him, and NONE with his family, that ALL think like him. He lives with our daughter he wanted me to abort. Her two daughters give us much love. N e way, you can't ALWAYS blame the victims for their choice. The choices today are pretty HORRIBLE, that IS why so many women I see AND know choose NOT to marry or re marry now a days. Most Women can take care of ourselves now, and DON'T need or want a bunch of emotionally immature baby, lazy, abusive men anymore! "It's not my job to re train badly raised men! Do you want a partner, or a project/ problem?" (Julia Roberts).
It sure does.
I couldn’t stop crying😭😪These abusers go Scott free, what kind of law is it? The abuser gets access to the children so they can be further abused😡😡😡😡
An amazing woman ...I wish her so much love and peace
There should be a child permit you have to pass if you want a child. This should never happen again. Thank you for your story.
So proud of you. You survived and telling the facts. Brave courageous woman
And to think this all could've been prevented had she grew up with a decent family. They ruined her life.
Something similar happened to me. I too could have had a much more fulfilled life and she is inspirational.
Catholic Church.
We all suffered .
My family ruined my life too. And this lady is very brave. She really isn't standing alone. We are standing with her.
Thank you for sharing your story! Thank you for standing strong! Although your family chooses to remain in their denial, the truth has set you free! Oh my, your daughters have a beautiful role model in you! We'who have been abused stand with yo,u and your story gives us courage! 💜💞💜
😢😢😢u are a beautiful lady and i feel your hurt . my heart is so broken right now . but I feel your hurt . 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔I send my love and hart to you for . God restore the broken ones .
I'm writing a book called "no such thing as justice" - we must make changes! no more bullshit with the legal system only caring about MONEY, not JUSTICE!!
justice is a blind lady. but i do agree the system is broken for the wrong reasons
Yes!!
You got that right!
I’m so very sorry for the abuse you’ve endured dear dear girl...you’re in my prayers..god bless you..thank you for having the courage to speak out and help others on their journey to recovery.
So sad. No words. I was in a similar situation. Bless u and your children.
I used a dissociative disorder to cope with my ex- I would sing a rhyme in my head so I would cope with it.
Ann Hitchin When my husband was verbally and mentally abusive, I developed a facial tic from the stress, and would say "I should just kill myself" over and over, and oddly it gave me comfort
@@mjrussell414 temporary and permanent comfort
I created two imaginary best friends to cope. They were twins & were a male & female, at the same ages as me at six years old. She had beautiful long silky black hair & blue eyes & he had black hair & blue eyes. I named them. I created an underworld where everything was beautiful. It looked like this world but it was underground. When I needed to escape I would go there. I created a mother & father for them & they were the best parents ever. They read them stories & told them they loved them & held them & everything was perfect. They would get to go to the park, skating, go to movies, ride go-carts & a number of things. They would show up at show & tell at school & see how well they was doing & they bragged on them to everyone. She made cheerleading & he a football player. Life was real good for them. Sometimes I miss my bestfriends & wonder how their lifes turned out. They were in my life for a very long time while growing up. I don't think their stories are ever really over. When my mom was bathing me one day she got soap in my eyes & I started crying. She got mad & held me under the water. I opened my eyes & looked up at her & she had this horrible grimace on her face. My aunt walked in & caught her & told her she would finish bathing me. I honestly think she saved my life that day. I am still petrified of water. I can't remember not even one time where I was ever held or was told that I was loved or I made her proud. My whoopings were always on the face, back & shoulders. Even if she just walked by me, I would throw my hands across my face & shoulders for protection. Any little thing would set her off. I walked on egg shells around her & I was so afraid of her. I did everything to make her proud of me but no matter what I did it was never good enough. She worked our bums off too. We were put out in the hot sun all day at four & five years old pulling weeds out of this big vegetable garden. We would rub each other down with BenGay at night & our hands got blisters. The house had to be spotless! One time there was a stain on the wall & she made me lick it off. It also didn't help that I was a bedwetter until the age of ten. I can't even tell you of how bad I was punished! When I was eleven I started my period. I would get so sick & the pain was horrendous! I would walk around the house holding my stomach pleading for someone to help me. It resulted later in life that I would never be able to have children because of endometriosis. If she had only taken me to the doctor it may have been different. I had to have a partial hysterectomy at age 18 & another surgery at 23. They tried to save me so I could have children but couldn't. I also have been very sickly & have had many surgeries until the age of thirty five. I once got up the courage to ask her why she had me. She told me it was God's fault & to blame him. Once after a beating, I went outside & looked up to the sky & I told God that I hated him. I was screaming at him. Then a few hours later I got on my knees begging him to forgive me. My aunt once told me that someday I would be grown & I would be able to leave but what she didn't tell me was you take the pain with you. When I was 14, I ran away. We had just moved to another state. They found me & brought me home but I kept running away. My plan was to keep running away until they left me alone. I stayed with friends at school, neighbors to get by. It didn't take long & my plan worked. Even after leaving that house I had so much fear. At night, I would sleep with a knife in my hand trying to stay awake for as long as I could until I passed out trying to protect myself. I felt there was something in the room that was watching me from the corners of the ceiling. It wasn't human. It wasn't going to kill me. It's goal was to scare me to death over & over. I wasn't afraid of someone breaking in, I was afraid of what was in the house. When I went outside even at night I felt better. It didn't help that I had such a good imagination. This fear went on until I was 30 years old. I couldn't blow dry my hair or vacuum because the sounds were so loud & I felt I wouldn't be able to hear or see what was coming for me. When I showered, I washed half of my face at a time. What ended up helping me was a dog I got. I felt she would protect me & she did! She took the fear away from me. She was 15-1/2 years old when she passed. I loved her more than I ever loved anyone & will always thank her & miss her. I ended up marrying a man that was abusive too. He held guns at me & would pick me up & throw me resulting in a broken collar bone once. He body slammed me. He blacked my eyes & busted my nose & I had bodily injuries. I only weighed 100lbs & he weighed 250lbs. One day I had had enough. I walked out while he was at work, left with my sister who btw, was abused too. She ended up an alcoholic & I was suicidal. She was one year younger than me. We moved to another state. I left everything & had to start over. I didn't even take a vehicle. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a rare blood & bone cancer. It took a stem cell transplant to save my life after the chemo & radiation stopped working. That's a story in itself. My mother found out & called me & left a message that she was sorry for all the things she did to me & that she loved me. It validated everything I felt in my childhood. I still have the recording & use to play it over & over. A year before the cancer I went into a deep depression. I have got depressed before but this time it was something else! I had planned my death & was going to shoot myself. I even got happy thinking about it. What stopped me was thinking of my sister. I realized if I hadn't have gotten help that night, I wouldn't make it to the morning. I signed myself into a woman wellness center, (just a fancy word for a pysch ward). I met a doctor there that put me on two medications & they gradually helped me. I will be on those medicines for the rest of my life. The only thing I held against my father who just passed away on 9/11 is he didn't protect me. Back when I was growing up the men worked & the women were expected to take care of the home & children. She not only physically abused me but she was verbally abusive too. She would tell me that I was trash & would never amount to anything but I showed her she was wrong. After HS, I went to college & got a degree in Finance & Accounting. I had to work two jobs but I did it! I haven't spoke about this until now. So aren't you all the lucky ones, lol. The thing that helped me was I forgave her. When I did that, a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't do it for her. It didn't even matter if she knew. I had to do it for myself. I had carried the burden for to long & I set myself free. I am glad you are happy now. People who have never been abused think we are giving sad sob stories for attention but that's the furtherest from the truth. Don't give up! There's help out there that will help you to be brave. You are worthy & deserving. Your special & there's no one like you! I know it's hard but you too can be free, maybe not in the way I did, but that's okay. Sorry this got so long!
What a beautiful, brave woman who deserves peace and love in her life. I commend her for speaking publicly. ♥️
Dear Rose,
Thank you for making this video. I’m so glad got sober, and that you got into treatment. ❤️ It allowed you to find someone who could tell you the truth: the healthiest person gets help. The crazy people stick together because the truth scares them. Oh your dear children!! And the guilt you carry!! What a broken world we live in.
I always hated, "What happens in this house stays in this house."
Seeing your name made me want to cry because you have the same 1st initial & same last name as my brother who died much too young of what I believe was trauma & stress related . Looking back at his life I feel he was an empath personality. I feel the same frustration as you in the comment you made relating to hiding the truth which only causes more damage to those who have been wounded ; the saying that the truth will set you free is powerful in its meaning as is what the lady did who spoke out about her family's secrets, it takes courage & she found it & brought freedom to her life & her children. I am grateful for the support & new awareness against abuse ; if my brother were still alive he would be an even greater inspiration in helping others ,He was a speaker for AA. I wish you well
D Noble in finding all the support you need for your journey .🍃⚘🕊
OMG! I heard that so many times! Or "Our business is nobody's business." I was lucky I was so little. I got really good at hiding in that darn house..
Thank you for your honesty.. you are so brave to stand up to what happened to you. What a wonderful woman you are. You are not alone.
OMG what a powerful incredible testimony!!!! Drove me to tears Rose story is whe type of story that pushes me even more to do what I do!!
Rose- I so Love you for your bravery to break the Silence. You are helping so many here to find our own truth and what We have buried. Love you. 💜💜💜(For courage)
The justice system is a joke
It's run by men
For abused women it is
Oh Rose you're a Soldier.
I feel your pain and who needs the family that would not be there for you when you need them.
Hugs to you xx hope you and your children have peaceful and joyful life.x
She is the strongest one in the whole family. She came forward to stop the maddness of abuse.
I don't think this lady will ever have to stand alone in her truth. I would have been so broken if I was abused like she had been. I hope this lady and her daughter's have managed to get themselves a beautiful life and she deserves to be happy!
It never works out that way. This is why, when you haven't walked in someone's shoes, you don't get to comment - because you're making an ass of yourself even while you think you're being "nice."
My sister once said "There's something wrong with Them." Truer words were never spoken. My BFF was always saying that she was crazy because the people that should have been her greatest supporters were always telling her so. I always thought (and told her) that she was the sanest and strongest person I know. God bless you and thank you for sharing your story. You are NOT crazy and you are so strong. I hope for the best for you and congratulate you on what you have overcome. Oh my heart swelled watching this.
God bless you, Rose. You are a wonderful, brave woman.
If no one else said it I will, I am so sorry these things happened to you. You did not deserve to be abused and mistreated! You are beautiful and you are enough, you did not do anything wrong. I love you!
you poor women. I just want to give you a hug, I had an abusive mother....it does terrible things to your mind... I hope that you are healing through talking about the abuse....god bless you and keep you....just remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
This is heartbreaking. The system is so broken.
That is extreme abuse in all ways. There is some abuse in my background and my daughters but not as horrible as this. This woman is brave beyond belief.
I'm so sorry for the pain this woman & her family have endured. Good for her for getting out. I send healing thoughts & good wishes for all involved. As a society, we MUST do better than this.
Wow you've been through more than I could ever bear. You are so strong. I hope you find love someday.. You deserve it x
I too know what it's like to experience trauma in every area of my life and i drowned in alcohol til I couldn't do it no more. ..no one around me seem to understand my trials and after awhile I stopped explaining and became severely introverted.
I came out of my darkness when I found Jesus I finally found someone who understood "who messed up me was"...I too seemed to find abusive men over and over. .I just over time decided enough! !..I don't want men in my life...and now am like a nun..committed to a real true soft loving man named Jesus His comfort is life for me and I really am content to live in celibacy and feel pure each day...men approach me but I tell them sorry I'm not available. Everything the speaker endured I endured...when I tell my story most psychiatrist tell me you should be severely mentally disabled....I give Glory to God who is my ALL my being. There is Power in Jesus that heals all infirmities. Nothing is impossible with God.
In conclusion: I heard a story of a woman in a mental institution who was very mentally and emotionally broken...a minister came and would read the WORD...the bible and he said to her.." stand on the WORD of God and He will set you free and heal all your wounds". Well...the woman when alone put the bible on the floor AND STOOD ON IT...she said Jesus I stand on your WORD....She was healed and now lives a normal life.
Bless you all and find hope in Jesus. Amen.
I have a news flash for you Rose It's literally impossible for a husband to rape his wife It's wifes duty to submit to her husband as unto the Lord
I have news for you Robert, rape is a crime and Christ didn't have sexual relations with anyone. He was celibate.
Keep speaking truth, you have many supporters.✌️🙏❤️
My councillor says my mother should never have had children.
😥 terrible thing to say.
Bravo Rose. You are a hero. Breaking the cycle by speaking truth and smashing the secrets. Bless you.
"he was a good provider" ... that just speaks volumes!... Women who have a measure of financial independence, and can finance their way out of abusive relationships are in a much stronger position to stand up to an abusive husband, and draw the line on abuse, be it physical or emotional!
Women beware of men who insist you stay at home and raise the kids full time without any income of your own, this can be a tell tale sign of a control freak.
If he objects to your friends visiting, or you going out to visit your friends....objects to you spending time online ...wants to know what you have been doing all day, objects to you taking part in activities with you relatives or children....well, the alarm bells should be ringing!
A strong woman ♡
My God continue to free you and your family ♡♡♡♡
I am sooooo proud of you!! I would love to have you as a member of my family...you are strong, intelligent and willing to fight to do the right thing!!! If you want to talk anytime just let me know :)
Wow!! I liked what she said at the end A Woman's Place to her is standing in truth even if you must stand there alone
Yes .. Stand alone .. Stay away .. Love you .. They just want a hot meal and laundry done .. Your better off . enjoy your life !
IHave you heard of Melanie Tonia Evans? She has an effective healing program. I’m happy for you. My mom abused me and let others who took her up on it. I went no contact and found out how abusive other family members were. Being alone is so much better than being a slave. Thank you for being such a light, you are so smart and you’re worth it.
Thank you for showing us that are struggling ,that you can make it! I come from generations of mental illness too - i had to raise my baby on my own with no family help but it stopped the cycle. Unmothered mothers should have much more support and appreciation ❤️🙏🏻
You ARE the SANE one! Every one in your life was crazy!!
Thank you for sharing a story that not so long ago people did not hear.
What a powerful and sad story. I too have come from an abusive family. My sexual abuse started when I was around two to three years old. My abusers are my brothers especially my oldest brother. He's the one that taught me at 3 years old what sex was. I repressed memories and they returned when I was 24. I told my mother and she didn't believe me. She told me that she would call my brother and he would tell her the truth. I spent years in therapy learning how to deal with this and other abuse. I hope you read the comments and no that you are not alone and there are others who understand and know that you are an extremely strong woman. Thank you for telling your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have helped a lot of people for coming out with your family's dysfunction.
Yes, my life to a T. Lost everything but gained my freedom and my voice.