Jordan Klepper & Desi Lydic "Solve" the Border Crisis | The Daily Show
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- Опубліковано 13 лют 2024
- If Republicans are going to compromise with Democrats on the border crisis, they’re going to need a new issue for Trump to run on. Thankfully, Jordan Klepper and Desi Lydic have a few ideas to enrage the masses -- from Taylor Swift, to drag queens, to basically anything with letters. #DailyShow #JordanKlepper #DesiLydic
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So basically everything is on hold because Don needs an out for 91 felony charges.
"Petty revenge" ain't a solid policy to solve anything but the consequences of his actions, "drill, baby, drill" is kinda moot since more was drilled under Biden, and that whole dictator angle is turning people away from him...
Precisely. Trump kills a bipartisan bill to fix the border. Blames Biden. Tries to win White House and pardon himself.
Correct
In one!
Yep
That strong password thing killed me into laughter
Edit: I think I may have started WW3! Chill, guys, chill.
Killed you into laughter? What does that even mean?
That was very funny and true, it does look like a very strong password.
ai @@Jimmythefish577
Can you actually use foreign-language passwords?? I never thought about it before... 🤔
@@Poemi10304 you can, but usually, algoritms used to break into your account try those as well. better to use something that makes no sense in any language
😂😂😂 I love all the DS correspondents, but Jordan and Desi are my favorite. Together is just the icing on the cake. ❤
They are a great pair.
No Real Jobs! No Real Jobs! ...Catchy, I like it.
They're both hilarious
Welcome, my friends. I want your advice about life
THIS!!!
“Their entire language is one very strong password” very well written joke.
Not a joke if that is the goal.
@@HashknightGaming ...What?
Jordan and Desi make me smile at terrifying subjects. Ugg
Right?!?! 😂
To many republicans do what trump says, build the wall how about around trump!
So nice to see Desi on a day-release from her court-mandated commitment for the damage done to her mind from watching Fox News so we don't have to.
South Americans are more Americans than white people 1492 worst immigrants ever
Jordan and Desi are the best ❤🎉
"Anything with letters" KILLED me!
"They're afraid of letters" 😂😂😂😂
Except for nra and kkk.
@@jgallone They get around that by calling those groups "patriots"
Jordan and Desi are a great pair.
Jordan’s description of the Russian alphabet was thoroughly hysterical.
aside from how it's very close to the Ukrainian alphabet
"these people have to be stopped" sounds pretty iffy with that in mind
I will never see Chuck Schumer the same.
I hope he sees this clip of this show. He will never see himself the same way either.
I was taking a bite of my toast when he said that. I literally choked while laughing!
@@kathrynpupos9103not the first person to choke on Chuck if Jordan's right
@@littlegravitas9898 ew.
Donkey Kong!
The crazy thing is these bills basically cost us no money in reality. It is all military spending we'd do anyway. Replacing our stocks of outdated or expired munitions. Which with these bills, we send to our allies instead of just throwing them out. The money then replaces them. Which would happen either way. So it isn't costing us anything extra at all. Not even in transportation costs, as those are balanced out with the cost of disposing of the munitions.
Shhh, you're destroying the propaganda of both the right wing and the far left.
That's not true. You gain money. It's used for the purpose it was bought but you yourself don't go to war.
You have no costs fighting and casualties.
Also you get a field test and free Marketing.
@christianjung5583 I don't know I'd say we gain money, but it very much does help stop a future war. Which could cost much money. And lives.
The bills are not even 6% of our defense budget
@Power_to_the_people567 they are small yes, but adding an extra 6% to such a large amount could still be considered a huge expense. Which is why it is important to point out it is 6% already figured in. It is 6% that is going to be spent either way. No money can be saved by not passing them. It won't reduce our defense spending in anyway. And that is important to point out so people understand.
I'd still support that aid even if it did actually cost us. Even if it did increase our spending by 6%. It would not only be the right thing to do, but it will help save money in the future. Sadly many don't think like that. So pointing out the money is already spent, and nothing will change that , and these bills just send stuff we'd otherwise throw out can help some see it isn't costing us anything and sway them.
When Desi said the Republicans are scared of anything with letters, I literally LOL-ed! 🤣🤣
Republicans don't print more debt and inflation for your children. Speaking of which, do you know who the baby daddies are?
Ukraine was forced to give up its nuclear arsenal in exchange for US protection in the 1990s, we have to honor that agreement
Actually Russia also signed that paper. They were supposed to respect the border.
What’s happening now is, that it’s shown how little these agreements mean long term.
No. That's not at all what happened.
And given that the US doesn't honour *any* agreement. Why start with one that you've invented?
The allies *did not want* Ukraine to be another nuclear power. It's a breeding ground for fascism and corruption and always has been.
NATO is supposed to end in Germany, as per the agreement when the Berlin Wall came down and the Soviet Union dissipated.
_Woops?_
@@sloppynyusziit's showing who honors their oaths and who doesn't
@@Jay-is2jy long term none of these lasts. Trump reneged on a non binding deal, with the Paris climate change. Got out of the Iran deal, the Pacific trade deal was signed and done, he got out of that. So the US can’t be trusted long term.
Britain left the EU 🤦♂️ what’s the longest one of these agreements that has ever lasted? And what’s the oldest one that nations still agree on?
Ukraine never had nuclear power, the warheads that were there were Soviet Union.
These two together are gold
Finally Desi and Jordan!!!! Give them the show.
+1
+1, and Jon on fridays!
They make a great T.V. couple.
How to Recognize a Cult
Absolute authoritarianism without accountability.
Zero tolerance for criticism or questions.
Lack of meaningful financial disclosure regarding budget.
Unreasonable fears about the outside world that often involve evil conspiracies and persecutions.
Sounds like the US and israel. 😅
Sounds like democrats and republicans too, the US is messed up
@@vplgeryMaybe you should move to Russia.
@@rockingroby6060 😂 ok Sir Nationalist.
@@rockingroby6060 Why? They're even worse than the US and Israel. I mean, not by much, but technically they're worse. Your counter doesn't make sense.
“The whole point of politics is to solve problems. No, the whole point of problems is to let people do politics.”
I feel like bringing up this quote in my graduate class that I am taking now about public policy and education.
“Politics is the battle for control of the limited resources of a nation, state, and community.” I prefer this view of politics and explains the constant back and forth between political parties, differing political opinions of individuals, and how the government functions at any point in time.
@@ZoomSupremono that battle is about stalling and withholding Ukraine weapons until Putin wins.
@@ZoomSupremo Even if a nation's resources were unlimited there would still be political fighting. Its not even about resources for conservatives its purely about personal power and what you can convince your constituents.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies" - Julius "Groucho" Marx
@@zotaninoron3548I agree with the Unlimited Resources point, hypothetically. “Control” is probably the important part of the quote which your second sentence demonstrates. I got the quote from my Democrat political science professor. But, both sides vie for control of resources, whether money, people, tools or capability.
"Tore it up like it was a federal subpoena"....now we absolutely know why Jon (et al) are back. I simply cannot stop laughing. And snorting.
Desi and Jordan are exquisitely on point with each other. Perfect vibe! 😂
Desi or Jordan seem capable of running The Daily Show, together they are brilliant. With Jon Stewart on board, I am watching again for the first time in years.
Clepper is my man. This dude is killing it.
Even better if you spell his name right, eh "ctijnvth"?
Dude, it's Keppler. Get it right, eh?
@@lonewolf982000I’m pretty sure it’s keppler
@@Butterratbee @sambielamba @lonewolf972000
just so all of you know. I'm flawless. I never make typo's. Nonetheless he's still the man.
@@Butterratbeehamburger Kepler 😂
genuinely 2 of my favourite people in american media atm, these 2 are hilarious af PLS GIVE MORE OF THEM IM ACTUALLY SUPER FR PLS they're great and we deserve great people atm
Jordan Klepper and Desi Lydic are so beautiful they’re like the prom king and queen of comedy
Is Jordan Klepper really beautiful? He's alright bu I wouldn't cancel a football game for a date with him
@@tyronevaldez-kruger5313 I would, and I'm a straight man 😁
@@ZhangtheGreat and I'm the opposite 🙂
@@ZhangtheGreat I'm not 😁
@@ZhangtheGreat but why would you? I mean for what 🤔
TDS has so much collective talent. Y'all nailed it as usual.
The people who do the casting for TDS are utter geniuses. Just look at all the comedy legends they've introduced to the world over the years.
Trump Derangement syndrome killing it
I could watch Desi read the phonebook, but the fact that she's so funny and talented on top of that... wow.
Jordan Klepper, a genius, with an awesome sense of humor! 😂😂😂❤❤❤
Desi and Jordan, Finally
"Their entire language is just a very strong password" .... OH NO 🤣🤣🤣☠️
This is the first I've seen of Jordan hosting, and i declare Jordan Klepper the new full time host is TDS! 👍🏻🤣 He's got it! (Yeah baby, he's got it)
The Daily Show IS the only extant actual news program.
...and Desi Lydic could be the World's Best Reporter.
No real jobs. No pilitical satire. Desy is hillarious.
I was not prepared for considering an existential reflection of my work xD
For real. I wouldn't have an IT job if people were knowledgable in using a computer@@nasseq
Only nine words. Three spelling errors. Did school much?
@@TVC15ohohOr English could be a second language. He could also have dyslexia. Chill about the spelling bro, he go his point across
Wow.....bully much! They may not be foreigners. They may have been educated in America.
These two have grown so much. They're really killing it now
This segment was actually brilliant. Well done and well written!
The high quality of political comedy/commentary that this show has consistently delivered, even during Jon's time away, has been nothing short of award-worthy!
Even when my kids were toddlers, they were still more reasonable than to cry, "I want noodles with Southern border reinforcements!", and then, when I give them their noodles with Southern border reinforcements, my toddlers didn't start crying "I don't want noodles or the Southern border reinforcements!"
The noodles example is too real 😂
They should just give this guy the show seat, he is by far the best.
These writers are magnificent!
I love to see Jordan Klepper in the chair. He’s a brilliant presenter.
He's just another propagandist. Not one thought in his head that wasn't put their by the DNC. How long were they gaslighting us that Biden was mentally sound.
Weapons is sent to Ukraine not money. The money is paid to US companies to replenish old weapons. Say it like this.
Rand Paul knows that no-one is sending $60 billion to Kiev or to anywhere.
Then Rand paul isn't right.
Not being a psychologist, I don't know what his issue his but it's pretty clear that he has a major personality defect.
You are right. Wording is everything
Somehow Republicans manage to oppose spending resources on the field to actually destroy the US's leading adversary but keep asking for more money to pour into the military industry complex ostensibly to defend against imaginary attacks. Scale also matters. The Ukraine aid so far has proven incredibly effective for a tiny fraction of our defense budget.
@@UA_in_USA Problem is that it's too many words for Republican voters to understand. If you can't explain your policy on a hat, they're going to be against it.
196 of my fellow dutchies have been shot out of the sky above Ukraine by a Russian BUKsystem. no article 5 of NATO!?
Profit of weapon sales to foreign countries in 2023 in the US was 238 billion. Aid to Ukraine was 44 billion and Israel 3.8 billion. That leaves 190.2 billion in profit to the US in 2023. On top of that we've 21 million refugees from Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan we pay for. Also 6 million from Ukraine. The US has taken 3.5 million refugees since the year 1975.
I can't help that money doesn't go back to the American people.
The US has been holding aid for Ukraine resulting in Ukraine have to preserve ammo and by that killing more Europeans while making a profit of 190.2 billion last year.
We've been supporting US wars since the existence of NATO, not once we asked for help.
Now we ask for help against the very nation NATO was founded for. We've been dying in Iraq looking for WMD's that weren't there. I know, because was with SFIR 3 in As-Samawah Iraq. So please spare me that 0.1% my country falls short while maintaining your US nukes since the 60s in fear of being nuked first.
Finland just got into NATO last week and my country from the first day a NATO member and they get protected and we don't. Very loyal from Trump that hasn't served a day in his life and cheats on his taxes. My income taxes are 38.10%. My country doesn't even have free healthcare and education.
Trump just spit on the graves of all Dutch soldiers fighting for America.. WORST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY!
It's always amusing watching a politician imply a government cannot possibly do more than one thing at the same time. Border security and help Ukraine, simultaneously? Impossible! The Department of Governmenting (DoG) cannot handle doing two things within the same calendar year!
The Redundant Party of Redundancy Party
"It's always amusing watching a Republican imply a government cannot possibly do more than one thing at the same time."
Fixed it for you.
@@JimmyDaKoik Exactly. Compare their piddly committee hearings with the Democrats Inflation Reduction Act, Affordable Care Act, and the Jan 6th hearings. Not that I'm a huge fan of of the DNC or corporate Dems, but they can lay some smack down when they put their mind to it. It's the Repugs that want an all expenses paid free lunch in DC. 🌊✊
Edit/question: your nom de plume wouldn't be a reference to Capt James T. Kirk, would it? Nicely done, sir, nicely done! 🖖😸🌌
It's so nice that they let their outside correspondent come in every once in a while and play with their inside correspondents
This episode was great 👍🏻 They should be permanent hosts. I bet TDS would be very successful.
I'm so happy with this format. Thanks. DESI!!!!!
Jordan is my favorite host! He’s so well spoken.
Jordan is funny enough and kills it with his Trump rally correspondence but Desi shines. Can’t wait for her week. Along with Costa’s.
Klepper, Lydic, and Costa are some of my all-time favorite comedians.
I don't know how they do it, but the people who do the casting for The Daily Show are utter geniuses.
Great job! We need your humor to get the message out to these innocent people who have entered the cult of Trump and can’t see the truth! Thank you!
Now you have MTG looking all through the internet to find a picture of Chuck Schumer. Next thing you know, she'll be having a poster board of it up in a hearing staring at it like she has done with Hunter's junk that she seems very fond of.
The TP/GQP is not afraid of all things with letters. They seem to like three K's in a row.
6:00 Desi started channeling Sir Humphrey Appleby from "Yes, Minister" for a moment there 😂
These 2 are geniuses!!
It's not bad news lol we don't need to keep funding Netanyahu
We’re gonna spend ten times more than that bill as Russias power grows and our weakness emboldens China to start their own invasions.
Yeah, pretty massive silver lining on that bill not passing. Republicans unintentionally being the heroes in this situation.
Rand Paul, continues to demonstrate why his neighbor had to tune him up a bit😂
Thank you …. you SO nailed it.
I love these two😂
Strong duo ❤
Well done!
"the whole point of problems, is to do politics...", genius!
It’s not an accident that Rand pronounces that capital the old way folks. 😉
Who tf cares how it's pronounced. Americans mispronounce things all the time. Some might say it's in our nature. I wouldn't put all that much into it.
Klepper is in my top ten favorite entertainers
"Build the wall" is Trumps ring tone
This is not satire....
This is absolute truth
Jordan! We love ya. Hard work is clearly paying off. Keep it up. Remember who you are.
they're killing it
Its really dumb because the monatary figure for the arms were sending isn't spending. The weapons were sending is old stock in the wearhouses, the things that replaced them in our military have replacements and backups ready. So it did cost $16,000,000,000 to produce those weapons, but that money was spent in the 70-80s. When its time for increasing the military budget there is alway money. We've been spending massive amounts of money building the arsenal of democracy! But when someone want to give those arms to a democracy under siege, we cant spend that money they cry. YOU ALREADY SPENT IT!
As the last part days ago. Thank you for the opportunity to see the longer segment and the best part of it!
Listen I live 5 miles from the progreso Texas border and those numbers of people crossing is extremely exaggerated …smh
So excited to listen to all!
This segment immediately an all time greatest
I was team Desi for new host, but I am not mad about the new arrangement. I look forward to her turn hosting for the week, and I love having Jon back for Mondays.
The fact that Rand Paul pronounces Kyiv as the Russian pronunciation of "Kiev" says all we need to know about where his funding comes from.
So happy Jordan got the gig 💪🏼
He didn't. They will all host one week each, Tuesday-Thursday.
Don't you get it? Putin is the boss of little donnie
👏👏👏
Absolutely! That's why he is so tough on NATO and so wimpy on Russia. He shows nothing but respect for Putin yet refers to Republicans that don't worship him as RINO's and Democrats as "evil" and "vermin". Never says anything negative about Putin. No insulting nicknames, no threats etc. Says a lot
@@bluejay9890 let me get this straight you’re still with the whole russian collusion folks, right?
They get it, but racism is way more important than Country to them. VOTE BLUE 💙💙
@@Daria-dp8to never voting blue again in my life
Wowser! Jordan and Desi! Master comedians! It's like Mort Sahl and Joan Rivers, modern style. Keep those hits coming.
I almost choked on my food laughing so hard at the ''no real jobs'' chant.
You peeps are the best
Register early and vote every republican out of office everywhere. 🌊👍🇺🇲
America will never run out of polical satire
Ha!! Never
"Anything with letters" 😂😂😂 love it!
"... CRT, NPR-- ANYTHING with letters!"
🤣🤣🤣
Great duo!
Really great teamwork sketch
During 1986-7 the state of NSW in Australia asked for bids to build the first casino in Sydney. Four groups submitted bids for the lucrative project. Cabinet papers declassified 30 years later revealed that the Trump bid was rejected after NSW State Police reported that the Trump mafia connections and financial unviability made their bid undesirable.
It also said his ties to organised crime was obvious.
"No real jobs! No real jobs! No real jobs!"
Brilliant.
The only thing better than Jordan OR Desi is Jordan AND Desi!
I'm so glad they are back full force. The daily show that is.
I freaking love these guys ❤
I just, excuse me…. my sister and I just had our 38th anniversary of being here in this wonderful country that has given her the 2 most beautiful nieces and a strong gentlemen an uncle could ever ask.
I am thankful to The Lord for given us the opportunity to better ourselves.
My father, rest in peace, waited 5 years to become a permanent resident after he went to the US Consulate to ask for our residences.
I understand all the dilemmas going on at this time. Always remember, this is NO ONES LAND BUT THE CREATORs. Be nice . You WILL be judged. MAY THE LORD BLESS US ALL!
I'm Irish. The problem is that America is militarily powerful enough to deal with any direct aggression from Russia (which is not a peer country to the US and probably not even a near-peer rival). However, if NATO is compromised, or undermined by Trump, then America's ability to exercise both 'soft' power and military operations around the world is curtailed to a significant degree. So it would not be a case of America in direct danger, but America being weakened strategically and its options reduced.
I knew it! It's not the problems or the politicians... It's the comedians who are making a mess of the country!!!
Desi is a true doll.
Genius.
Jordan Klepper is just barely below Jon Stewart. Both are awesome without question.
"Their language is a strong password"
They have been killing it all week the only thing that could make this redux better is to bring back the OG Colbert Report.
Defense turducken, nice.
I hope colbert comes back as the colbert character.
There might be some contractual reason that he couldn't, but it would be glorious.
"a delicious defense turdunken.." best line evah
Quite the duo! Keep it coming
No real jobs.
TDS is absolutely smashing it right now
More Of Mr. Jordan and Ms. Desi
They actually make a great TDS journal report team.
😊🌱😊🌱
Thank you 😊💙
Comedy Central
Paramount
The Daily Show.
.............................................................🌱
Rand Paul on drugs.
so is Donald......fact