Something I’ve realized recently is that those of us with ADHD HATE doing things when we feel like we are being forced to do them. I’m almost like a stubborn child when it comes to this. “Gameifying” and reminding yourself that you actually want to do X or Y are helpful.
This is similar to how, when I’m planning to do a thing, and someone asks me/tells me to do it, my brain immediately puts on the breaks and says “well I was GOING to and now you’ve told me to and that just ruined all of everything and I hate the idea and I don’t want to do it now!” Like them mentioning it literally details my motivation entirely. Especially if they asked me to do it and I said yes and then they started doing it because I wasn’t fast enough. Like... I didn’t realize you had a time limit in mind?
I hate being told what to do, especially if I am in the process of doing it. I just leave it and do something else. IDK how to overcome this. When I am reminded about a deadline, I miss it. But if I am not reminded, I stick to it. What's up with that?
"Riding the wave" is SO me. If I decide/feel that NOW is the moment to do the thing I've been putting off I KNOW I have to do it RIGHT NOW because God only knows when I'll have the resources/motivation to do it another time...
Oh gosh. I feel that. Especially with menstruation and all the stuff. Sometimes it just ain't the day and when it is... it needs to be done RIGHT NOW! Alas... Can't reach some institutions in the middle of the night LUL. But that's what e-mails are for.
may or may not have gone to sleep at 5 am, because I hit the flow and well now i have to finish all those projects I started and couldn't bring myself to finish before and that's how long it took.... reasonable schedule? what reasonable schedule? RIDE THE WAVE. sigh... /flop over
Me too!!! I can NEVER use daily planners to plan in advance how my week will look, or even really create a weekly template for what I do each AM/PM. I know for a fact I will be feeling up for something differently depending on the day so I use reverse to-do lists and just roll with the punches most days. If it has a deadline, just seeing the impending deadline on my monthly summary in bright red ink will give me the motivation once it's like a week out hahaha.
I essentially can only do things when "I feel like it", it's like I have not just a wave but a waterfall or a hurricane if I feel like doing something, I carries you at a very high speed (things like hyperfocus or when you wanna do something but can't and it feels almost physically unbearable not to do it) and if I don't feel like it, it's like trying to swim upwards a waterfall and even the easiest things feel like torture :c
Same bro. I get a microbiology exam due Friday and it’s so hard to study and I really want to. I don’t know how much longer I can do this without meds. You got this tho
Top 5 Ways to Shorten the Motivational Chasm: 01:51 = 1. Break the tasks down into smaller chunks 02:36 = 2. Reduce barriers to doing the task 03:11 = 3. Make the task itself easier 04:04 = 4. Get support with the task 04:32 = 5. Ride the wave I decided to write this down for myself, so might as well share for those who need it written like I do.
Thank you!!! I was just about to write that a summary would really help! I was listening to it but not really absorbing it. Will screenshot your comment 😁
One thing that has really helped me is "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly". Eg, it doesn't matter if it's done properly or perfectly. As long as I do it, at all, even if that's the bare minimum, that's okay. And not just okay, but excellent! And that can help build habits so it's easier and easier to do things properly.
I hear you, but that just feels so WRONG for me. Mind you, I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. In addition to my ADHD, I'm a type A personality by both genetics and upbringing. (No way to dodge THAT bullet!) To give you a taste of my upbringing: my childhood pastor's favorite verse seemed to be "Be ye perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect", emphasis on the PERFECT. Yeah - try shaking that off even after a lifetime. What my wife and I tell ourselves, at least with respect to the housework, is that "any bit of cleaning blesses the house". It's OK if we only did 1 small thing: it made our house better. There's the added bonus of what my wife's family calls "Chickie Murphy" syndrome: one bit of cleaning leads to another because you notice something else that needs doing. (It's basically the momentum Jessica mentioned in the video, with a specific house-cleaning angle.)
I like this because it sounds like it'll help solve procrastination caused by perfectionism, which I'm guilty of doing a lot. I feel pressure to do whatever the task is perfectly because that was a lot of the kind of pressure I felt growing up. I don't think I'll end up doing tasks poorly saying this but I do think it'll make it feel alright if I wasn't perfect or didn't have the energy to do better. I appreciate this
@@ldbarthel yup, I don't like doing dishes, but once I actually get started it can be easy to keep going, and then wipe the benches down, start organising things. Ride that energy/interest wave and focus it on things with a concrete outcome that you can point your brain to and think "see, we got a lot of useful stuff done, remember that positive feeling next time!"
One way that works great for me is to pick a song you like, tell yourself you'll finish a small task (like getting dressed) by the time the song is over, then play it and do it quickly. Super rewarding for adhd brain lol
I race against the kettle in the morning to empty the dishwasher, I get rewarded with a hot cuppa afterwards! 😊 I get so ridiculously fast towards the end if it's about to boil and I'm not quite finished 🤣
Sometimes I find it helps me more if I time myself to see how long something actually took me vs using a countdown timer since then I’ll be constantly aware of the time and can’t focus on what I’m doing. Figured I’d throw this alternative out there in case it helps when urgency isn’t helpful or needed.
I have no idea why, but if I frame these helpful tips as "ways to overcome a problem" they never work. If I however frame them as "sneaky ways to trick my brain" they can work wonders. It's like gameifying but the end goal isn't getting stuff done, it's about making that side of you that's struggling make the pikachu face when you fool it into getting things done.
I did this with hampers recently! I often just dump clothes wherever. I bought hampers for every common place I drop clothes to not give my brain any wiggle room to cop out. Now the trick is to remember to actually wash the clothes...
It's funny; I'm the opposite. I was raised in an emotionally abusive home and dealt with a lot of lying, trickery, and smugness afterward, so I hate the idea of tricking myself. It actually makes it hard to research solutions for my issues because "tricking your brain" or your disorder is such a popular idea that it's mentioned almost everywhere, yet reading about it makes me feel almost nauseated.
Your original video was the reason I got tested a few months ago and finally diagnosed with Inattentive-ADHD at 32. I was burning out HARD last year and at serious risk of losing my job and my home. Thank you for your passion and effort, your videos have really helped me 🖤
I'm right here with you, friend. I burnt out of teaching BIG TIME last year, and even though I'm glad I quit my job, it has been really hard to make ends meet the last few months.
Your a true mind reader my friend this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this stuff I know I have to do but I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! Your reading my thoughts my friend !!! I have ADHD too !!!
And I loves youse tooz sometimes it's just like a freaking war going on like I wanna win and it's not only a game cuz I made it one but which game am I trying to win at and when? Why NOW? LOL it's so true looooves you, 🧠 👑💋 you rule!!
This is so helpful! I also find that using color helps me so much to get motivated. Sometimes I clean “by color” like anything I see that’s blue, I take care of it. Blue dishes to the sink, blue wrappers to the trash, blue clothes to the washing machine. It’s scattered and not as efficient as other ways that I clean but it starts the motivation train enough to get me going at a better pace!
One of the challenges I have is once I break my task down into more manageable size tasks the overall picture looks so overwhelming that I have absolutely no motivation to do any of it… as one of us that has ADHD along with depression, motivation deficit, trauma and burnout…. I get to the point where I could care less if the task ever happens…🥺
I try to visually separate it. First I make a list of the "medium" steps, then I turn the page so I can't see the list and write the first step at the top of that page and list the small steps under it. It doesn't always work, but I try to only think about the small steps for that day.
Something I've found helps me when I don't want to do any of the tasks on the broken down list because it all feels overwhelming is to remind myself that doing one thing is better than doing no things. That, and physically writing it down if I'm holding the information in my brain. Either I feel like it's more approachable, or I feel validated in feeling a bit overwhelmed. And seeing a long list helps me understand that no, completing it all at once isn't realistic, because I never manage to cross more than 4 things off of a daily task list
one thing I do is to only determine the NEXT small step, not separate them all in advance. So I can make myself believe that only this small step is required. Then if all goes well, I can ride the wave a little and not have to determine the next small step until I've done more than that first one, without thinking about it too much. Lists/checklists are very overwhelming to me so I prefer going in "blind" kinda.
@@dma93-ch Nice tip! Planning everything out sometimes just seems like writing a list of failures that are yet to happen, because nothing ever goes completely to plan and I never know how long things will take. One step is (hopefully) doable, and it takes less planning! 😁 Also, I like how you've essentially taken Jess' "don't do more than required" tip and applied it to another tip (breaking things down into smaller tasks). Very cool.
Jess this is the eternal dilemma. Whether it's procrastinating, over thinking what's already been done (did I do it properly, etc ) or self-distracting to not do it... I swear some days I wish I could have a transplant or something to address this.
At this point in my life... I would not have chosen this. If I could make it go away, I would. I'm looking at a $50KAUD savings goal to fix something that my ADHD was instrumental in destroying. I don't think I'll be able to not hate having ADHD until I've done that. I'm gamifying it. Projected to take about 5 years. There's something darkly twisted about a disability that requires good executive function to manage, literally the system that is not functioning correctly. I'm not saying the universe hates me, but...
@@MsJazbren that's just how mental problems work in the modern day. We have to learn to manage our mental problems. The good part though is that we have ways to help everyone manage what they want
I’m guessing we all have to do lists, but maybe a ta da list is also helpful. Make a separate list of the things you did and sometimes it is surprising what we actually get done. Then reward your self
I sometimes do this on days where I felt like I didn't do much and get upset with myself because of it. And I personally must say that it helps me, I always do more than I think I do because I'm (usually) more focused on what I didn't.
This is something I do (...when I can remember to), and it's so great. It makes me feel like "I'm getting things done today! I'm on a roll and can get more done!" even when the things on the list aren't what I intended to do. I do find it works best if I write them down as soon as I do them, though, because who can remember things until the end of the day? Certainly not me. Plus, then when you read over it at the end of the day, you'll be surprised at how long the list is and feel good instead of feeling bad because you can't remember doing anything.
I am autistic and I find I really struggle getting motivation for tasks. I spesificly struggle with homework like math (I'm quite slow at math), tasks you need to do multiple times (like making a weekly planning), cleaning, working out, and tasks with many steps can become overwhelming quickly for me. And then I get random bursts of anxiety because I didn't do the thing yet and I know I want to do it and I should do it. But I didn't for some reason. I always think about it when it's not apropriate, like when I'm trying to sleep. Also, this channel is a great source of information, also for neurodiverse brains who don't have ADHD, but do stuggle with (some of) the syptomes.
I think there's something called "autistic inertia", which makes starting tasks particularly difficult I often struggle to start something I want to do (fun things) and instead just keep sitting on the couch scrolling my phone :c
@@martmantzt I could, but I only got diagnosed with autism very recently. I was also tested on ADHD and they were not spesific bout it, they said something like: "most of the ADHD syptomes you have, are also found in autism." And that's it. So basicly I don't know
I’m autistic too and I believe I might have adhd as well, I haven’t told anyone yet though. I REALLY struggle just doing things! And also finishing them… and staying focused on them and everything in between. I am currently doing online school and my sisters finish before 11am and then there’s me doing my work until 4pm, and I ask my parents why and they just tell me you don’t just sit down and get the work done, even though I keep saying a physically can’t do it, they just don’t listen to me. They have worked out I have motivation and procrastination issues but they think it’s depression, and trust me, I’m not depressed! And if I am depressed it’s the inability to do tasks that is making me depressed, not depression giving me the inability to just do a task! I also get bored quite easily. On the weekends, as where I am it’s lockdown it’s really hard to find things to do, I try and find fun things to do but just keep going from one thing to another, (like I’ll watch the start of a UA-cam video then click to go watch something else, then that’ll remind me I have a certain game on my iPad and play that for a bit, then I go back to UA-cam etc) the only thing that really makes me have fun is calling my friends, and most of the time they are unable to for some reason, so I’m stuck in a never ending circle of boredom, then when I tell my parents I’m bored they tell me that I’m only bored cause I’m not doing things that they are suggesting and it’s just that I don’t find what they like to do fun. I also stay up later than I’m supposed to thinking about random things when I’m lying in bed. So idk if this is adhd or not but yeah pls someone help me (also that’s not all of what I think is adhd just some of the main points)
If you haven’t already done it I’d love a video on HOW to break projects into smaller chunks. It’s the biggest advice everywhere but sometimes when I have a big project, I know I have to break into smaller steps to get it done but it’s like my brain literally can’t conceive of how this 1 big thing can be several smaller things.. and even if I do come up with multiple steps, they’re in a chaotic order and not actually step by step (like having “edit paper” first on my list before I’ve written the thing)
I don't know if this is what is actually meant by breaking down the steps, but what I do is only focus on the first step, in your example that could be to gather information about the topic of your paper. Once that's done, I'll think about the next step and the next step only, let's say write the introduction. And so on. If these steps are still too big, you can break them down even more, like getting to your desk, then opening your laptop, then going on the Wikipedia page of your topic, then searching through other websites, then maybe through a book...
I use this when cleaning a room. Example, the bathroom. Instead of the overwhelming thought of having to clean my WHOLE bathroom, i tell myself, first just clean the mirror. Then wipe down the vanity. Wipe down the sink. Scrub the interior of the toilet. Wipe exterior of toilet. Spray shower with cleaner. Use a little elbow grease on shower. Rinse shower. Shake rug. Vacuum floor. Wipe down floor or mop the floor. Change out towels. Take out the trash. Whoa, suddenly the WHOLE bathroom is DONE! On bad days we could break it down further: Walk to the spot where supplies are stored. Get your cleaner. Walk to the bathroom. Spray the cleaner. Wipe the cleaner up. Rinse. Etc. I realize I do this automatically with 'ROOM' tasks, now I want to try to apply it to other tasks to break them down when I am overwhelmed.
Paper breakdown so you don't have to make it yourself: -Figure out how many paragraphs you need. (i guestimate abt 4 paragraphs per page for my papers. Look through past ones and see how many you have) -Find paper 'Thesis' -Find a Topic for each paragraph -organize them so they flow better -In each paragraph think of Points to support the Topic -Research each topic if needed - Intro and conclusion paragraphs are just previewing your Thesis and Topics -Write one paragraph at a time -If a paragraph is hard write one sentence per Point and try to connect them. I may be terrible at researching but I'm fantastic at BSing papers.
Dude I swear this girl is mind reader, this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this krap I have to do and I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! This girl is litteraly reading my thoughts right now !!! She is mind reader I swear!!!
Uh… the “girl” is in her thirties, so can we maybe get in the habit of calling adults ladies or women instead? The label of “girl” well into middle age, is deeply harmful. It’s a form of prejudice that promotes the idea that women are inferior or lack agency and need decisions made for them. Jessica McCabe is not “a mind reader.” She’s intelligent, hardworking, has done a lot of research and runs a company. If you ran into a man like that, you wouldn’t call him “boy.” Have some respect.
Struggling with the stigma of objective dysfunction and its perceived correlation to laziness has been one of the hardest struggles for me with ADHD. I’m hoping others can relate to the shame of being unable to force yourself to do a much-needed task. It is a vicious cycle, as the shame demotivates me further, and the task list grows ever longer. One small thing that helps me, especially in the “work vs play” conundrum, is if a task comes to mind, and I’m already up, I will immediately do that task. My mind often says “Just do it later”, but then chooses to forget about it later xD “You’re already up” has honestly been one of the best motivators for me!
I cannot thank you enough for your channel! I got diagnosed at age 45 and that was it. Diagnosis. No explanation about how ADHD impacted my entire damn life, explains things I’ve done in my past and still feel guilty or embarrassed by or still harangue myself for. Your channel has helped me explain to my husband why I do things that he thinks I should just be able to stop doing. I just....I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so so much!
I find setting a timer for a short period, like fifteen minutes, and trying to accomplish a set piece of the task before the artificial deadline can help. Love your videos.
yes some crazy people set the time to study for like 90mins?? i can't even stay focused 10mins... do i usually set it to how i feel 20, 25 or 30 but not more cause i know i won't be able to do that
It's not a bad idea my problem would be that I would forget where I left off and then I'd have to start over from scratch every time which would be pointless lol
I use a timer with tasks I hate, like sorting and filing receipts and bills and tasks that I am likely to lose track of time or make myself overtired like heavy weeding. I use alarms a lot too.
i have been sitting at my desk for 4 hours staring at a mountain of school work. just made my super broken-down list of tasks and feeling ready to work!!! thank u as always
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but this really, really resonates with me. I've got a dozen unfinished projects on my plate at any given time, and no motivation to do anything about it. It feels overwhelming and I don't know where to start, sometimes I'll go out in the garage and try to get something done and after about 5 minutes just go back in the house, or just stand around with a beer in my hand.
Walk or stretch to your favorite positive music for 5-10 minutes(or longer if you want) before working on a boring task ( homework,chores) then do the task. This allowed me to do my work on time for school! I get the dopamine hit to start doing my homework. I am able to motivate to do my homework. As I do my hW, I am motivated to continue doing it. A must try!!!!!!!
I've started doing an exercise where i treat my "morning me" as someone I can help. I'm more motivated to set up my work out stuff, put a protein shake next to my medication, and clean up anything off my floor.
What you said about number 5 "Ride the wave" where you can do the thing you are motivated to do, even if it is not what you planned to do, reminds me of something I learned after listening to the book "The Gap and The Gain" By Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. It's not actually in the book, but it's something I learned after applying it in my life. This book taught me a critical skill, how to be in the gain and not the gap. I found out that I have been in the gap my entire life, and have been constantly applying unhealthy gap ways of thinking to everything. By not thinking in terms of ideals, but instead of progress, and counting my wins, I started becoming more spontaneous, ready to enjoy and seize the wins the day offers me instead of only caring about the ones I originally intended on.
Watching this and sobbing because I’ve never felt so seen. I’ve been struggling so much with adhd and lacking motivation. Combining that with depression, anxiety, burnout, and trauma and I’m just having the hardest time doing even the smallest things. Thank you so much for the content you make.
Lol, just yesterday on TikTok I posted I was stuck and asked folks to stitch up posts telling me to get to work, however they wanted, whether they wanted to yell and call me lazy or tell me about how they get motivated. Giving them permission to say things that normally might take away planks ended up giving me planks just knowing that they cared enough to support me at all. I almost got to and completed everything I wanted to do.
I always tear up watching this channel. My whole life I thought I was the only one with these problems. It’s extremely comforting knowing I’m not, but it’s still hard knowing I am hardwired a certain way that inhibits me from achieving as quickly as I could without being this way
I am just now figuring out that I have Inattentive ADHD at 45, thanks to my best friend's daughter getting diagnosed and me seeing your videos, but I have also dealt with some injuries and illness. Once I started to feel remotely better I started to "see" the mess and literal cobwebs in the corner. I wanted to start cleaning more, but I was still struggling with motivation. Taking some tips from Fly Lady helped, but I also got a fake kids tiara and a kids cape from the Dollar Tree and would wear them while cleaning! Made it much more fun and motivating!
Thank you! I have always tried to explain to people that it feels like I literally cannot do something even if I want to. They usually assume that means depression or laziness. I've been depressed and I'm not anymore, but I still can't do the things. Sometimes I can do the things though, and I have no idea why. It's like I wake up feeling good and drink just the right amount of coffee or something and for some reason things are just easier that day. I'm just wondering if there is a reason for this motivation? Is it random or is there something I can do to make it happen more often? Or maybe it's just hyperfocus?
I feel ya! I think for me when I have those random productive days, it's actually all getting done because I'm procrastinating something else that Should be done that time/day (vs. all these things that are still good to get done..or not..lol. but I should have done them at more appropriate times).
@@naurekk I relate so hard. If I need to do something that's difficult for me because it's boring or intimidating, I tend to avoid doing the thing by doing housework instead. Like I'm justifying the avoidance by telling myself that I needed to do laundry anyway. 🙄 this frustrates me to no end, but at least it is better than not doing the task AND not doing laundry. 🤷♂️🤦♂️ I wish I had a hack for knowing what needs to be prioritized.
This is 100% me. It feels like luck, and I don't know how to "summon" the luck, even when I do as much as I can to help, by having breakfast and my coffee and my meds all on time and playing music.... So much of the time, it *doesn't work* and I don't know why.
@@chimbo8741 that would be helpful if I could get into the habit of doing housework when I procrastinate doing something else.... Maybe someday. Right now I'm still trying to actually do housework at all.
The concept of "No Zero Days" has helped me with larger goals. It's a way of addressing motivation and building habits. Want to develop en excercise habit but not got enough time today to do the ½hr workout? 1 pushup or lift counts as 'non zero'. I have been sorting out my room for 2 years now. It was full of half completed projects and my deceased parent's stuff that I hadn't been able to part with. Nothing would happen for months until the build up of frustration led to a burst of effort. The rate of progress since I started a 'No Zero Days' approach has been marked. Some days I may only remove 1 piece of rubbish, other days I might get 15 minutes in and make a bit of an impact. Occasionally I do an hour or so, e.g. I had a very old and defunct rowing machine and I spent about an hour on 3 consecutive nights dismantling it for scrap. Frustration is lower and it's beginning to feel like a space I want to spend time in. Note the room was so bad when I started that there was no space to move. I can now see the end in sight! I have a floor!
Thank you for much for this video! It came at the perfect time. I've got sooo much work I need to do and I've been struggling so hard to make an attempt with it. It's just been so difficult, I don't have the energy to do much. But I know this video can inspire me and many others too, I appreciate it so much! To everyone out there, you're not alone in this, we've got this together and we'll keep trying ❤️
my fave trick is to use sticky notes instead of writing lists. one task per sticky is the rule. putting the to-dos on the left side of the white board i can move them into an order that can be easily changed, or group them into categories or just pick the one that requires the least motivation that day. or the one with the most pressing deadline. when a sticky gets done, i move it to the right side of the board so i can track my progress, which much more rewarding than crossing it off a written list as if it doesn’t count anymore or as if i’d done it wrong. plus colored paper and markers are more fun than a pen and notebook. and i can snap a photo so it lives in my phone - no need to track a notebook which of course i will undoubtedly lose.
Really great timing, i feel really demotivated rn and not well and i have alot of school work to do rn, thank you so much, your such a great person *hugs*
One thing I realized is even when I break things down like if working out feels like too much then I tell myself “just work out for 10 minutes”. But even when I tell myself 10 minutes is enough, deep down I still expect myself to workout for longer then that so making the task smaller doesn’t actually help me. So what I did is made myself really work out for just 10 minutes and even if I had enough motivation to keep going after 10 minutes, I would still stop after 10 minutes. So then when I don’t want to work out and tell myself “just 10 minutes” my brain knows I really can just do 10 minutes and that’s enough. I’m horrible at explaining things so I hope that made sense and others can relate.
I got diagnosed with ADHD on the 11th. Your videos have helped me understand myself better. Now, thanks to you, I'm trying to be nicer to myself & more understanding of myself. I feel less lonely now. Thank you so much for what you do.
I find sometimes getting people to agree to plans but on the condition that this thing gets done sometimes helps. Like "hey do we wanna do this fun thing tonight? (I'm struggling with motivation to clean my room.)" If it's not a big thing on the part of the friend, having that pressure, and a reward that you can't give yourself prematurely is a good trick
Building off the tip to break things down large tasks into smaller parts, I find it really helpful to frame it as I'm doing "future me" a favor. That way, if I end up procrastinating and waiting until the last minute (which is likely haha), I have at least taken some of the burden off future me's shoulders!
I tend to be nasty to future me 😂 but if I pretend the menial task is for someone else, like I'm cleaning for my bf or for my sister instead of just myself then I feel better about doing it. Or I pretend I'm someone's personal assistant and have a very scary boss lmao
For someone with ADHD your videos are very well organized and executed. I don't have ADHD, but I deal with depression. Your videos seem to help me too.
Omg! These tips are SO helpful! I've definitely used the breaking tasks down into small ones. Even if it feels silly because it REALLY helps. I'm at a point in my life where I task myself with the small/simple to-dos and then immediately afterwards give myself a little applause saying, "Yayy, you did it! Good job!!
wish this was around when i was a kid. now as a adult i notice there is a lot of what you talk about that would help me. just wish i could of heard most of this when i was in high school. keep them coming your doing good work
I HATE putting my groceries away, because it involves cleaning out the fridge first, probably emptying the sink and dishwasher, taking out the trash, etc etc. So, I've started listening to podcasts or youtube videos while I put away the groceries and it's really helped the motivation factor.
Very great tools for the tool box. So thankful for this channel. It’s helped me go from completely clueless to understanding my ADHD and getting a better handle on it. Keep up the amazing work, it’s very much appreciated
I get in the perfection or nothing mode. I heard a quote the other day. It helps me with that. “I’ll take done over perfect, because perfect never gets done.” It helps me. I hope it’ll help someone else.
@howtoadhd, for me this became even more difficult once menopause hit me. Having to motivate myself along with other things has become a lot more challenging.
Honestly I've noticed during certain points in my cycle my symptoms get worse. I'm not diagnosed yet, but one of the main things I've noticed is I am more forgetful and lose things easier while on my period, and have some issues during the week of ovulation. but the worst symptoms happen on my period. I've read that for women, this is something a lot of us notice and have issues with :/ It's rather annoying when I need to get stuff done
@@Beetletreuse I can relate, it is quite frustrating not being able to get stuff done like I once use to. Not sure if this will help you but what I’ve learned is to be gentle with myself and re-learning new methods to accomplish things I used to do with a lot less effort. I know it will take some time to re-learn new habits but my hope is that I can accomplish it. I really enjoy watching this channel as it helped me pick up tips on how to help myself.
I have a few places around my apartment that having some artwork, like separate smaller bridges, would be very helpful to work as a visual stimuli not only to give motivation, but to manage my expectations and divide the task into smaller tasks.
I really appreciate the tips. What has been working for me lately, is music. I just put on my headphones and forget about everything else, and it tricks my brain into focusing on the task at hand. I create playlists for each tasks. In that way, I know when I'm finished with one task, when to start the next one, and it keeps me pumped. I even have a 9hr playlist for work. My peeps and coworkers know that when I have my headphones on, things are getting done.
this video came out at the perfect time, I've got SO MUCH work to get done and I've been procrastinating it for weeks and now i think I'll finally be able to do it, thanks jessica ❤️
One thing I do is by doing easy non related tasks to slowly building my momentum for task completion. Like if I for example have a big paper to write for school, I'll start by doing something unrelated that's quick and easy to do (like make my bed, take the dishes out of my room), then do another slightly bigger task (like start my laundry, sweep the floor) that way I can use the dopamine from a completed task to fuel the motivation for my big task at hand. Kind of a similar concept to ride the wave but a little more naunced. I'm not saying this works for everyone just one that has worked for me in the past. Word of warning though, sometimes you end up doing a big task that you've been meaning to do instead of the taste that you meant to do. Like cleaning the whole house instead of your big school paper. And this has happened to me but instead of being discouraged, say to yourself well it wasn't what I meant to get done but I got something big done and congratulate yourself on that instead of beating yourself up over not doing what you meant to do.
removing the barriers is definitely a HUGE thing the biggest and most helpful take away from my therapy was stop trying to just "overpower" things you struggle with but modify your environment so they become easier also, being honest and non judgmental about what these barriers are and how to fix them I'm very particular about a lot of seemingly small things and used judge myself that "it shouldn't affect me", but if doing something that feels silly helps me do things, who cares?
I appreciate you so much you have given me everything I need to know about ADHD because of you my life with ADHD is a lot easier! I have showed my parents a lot of your videos and now they understand everything I go through❤️ thank you
I’m familiar with 5. Ride the wave. It’s easier to do when you have multiple tasks that need to be accomplished but the other is (mostly) arbitrary. However I’m very strongly considering 4. Get help//do it together. So I have been contemplating hiring someone to push me, drag me, pull me, kick me, just get me to do what I need to do. I figure once the project is started, it might be easier for me to get somewhat self motivated
Smart reading helps me! Defining what questions you have of the text or what you need to understand from it before you start reading. That way you don't have to get overwhelmed with all the ideas there and just keep focused on those particular aims of the reading instead ☺
Breaking tasks down into smaller tasks is basically my life strategy, with planned breaks/rewards when the small step is reached. Sometimes just finishing the task isn't really rewarding, but knowing that I "earned myself" a small break really can be. I'm working on the "don't make it harder on myself than it has to be" and "asking for help" steps....turns out neither of those are easy for me. But I'm trying and I'll get better little by little.
3:43 Oof, that hits close to home :') This was a great video! I've been using a lot of these tips already, and especially breaking big tasks down into smaller ones helps a lot. Sometimes I try working for just a few minutes with a timer. It helps to reduce the perceived size of the task and gets me into that 'flow' too!
@@RamblePrism Thanks, yeah. I think it was tears of relief. That happens a lot when I watch Jessica's videos. There's a sense of "I'm not alone and I'm not crazy (or lazy or useless or insert whatever other shameful thing I've thought because I didn't understand my own brain.) It's a good feeling ultimately. :)
This makes so much sense now...Yesterday I was called stupid by someone for not wanting to pick up and change everything about my setup. It made me feel awful and I couldnt explain why it was so important for me to keep things as they were. I realize now that I had things set up in a way I had everything I needed and kept myself focused and motivated and moving everything meant having to redo everything and abandoning things that helped me so much! That felt so overwhelming! And having someone call me stupid for it didnt help either. Thank you for making me feel like Im not awful for every little thing my brain does.
Do you have any advice for those of us who--out of necessity to function--overplan? If I don't make a to-do list I find myself extremely inefficient, and yet on the flip side, I end up hyper-focusing on planning to the point where I end up wasting time on said list(s).
As someone who has sometimes crippling ADHD I am extremely grateful for your videos, and thank you for helping me to understand my disorder and overcome it.
I just love when your content aligns perfectly with what I need. I was literally searching for ADHD productivity tools this morning. Then you uploaded this 🤩
Hi Jess, I just want you to know that you seriously help even those who have not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. I deleted a large percentage of my subscriptions a month or so ago, which allowed in "fresh and new", and frankly what I needed. That's when I met you. Your vids kept being suggested to me on my home page, and your titles (and thumbnail animations) spoke to me, regardless of the channel moniker. Finally, I watched my first video of yours, and instantly connected. I've been subscribed to you since then; you _really_ speak to me. So much so that I even self-tested on 2 or 3 ADD/ADHD sites. Still don't "qualify", but my brain patterns and behaviors _certainly echo so much of what you present/discuss._ A beautiful balance of brevity & directness, understanding & validation, humor & fantastic personality, resources and practical _doable_ solutions are what you provide for me, and I truly appreciate all of it and you. I had to let you know. On my best days, worst days, and all in between... I thank you, Thank You, *THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!* Wellness wishes to All 💖
One of my ones, have a race with a friend or make a ridiculous bet I.e I bet I can colour code the doom pile by the door faster than you can grab the grocerys. 2 for the price of one
Your videos helped me understand that I've been dealing with ADHD symptoms regularly my whole life. Realizing that gave me the motivation to call my doctor, for the time being I'm on antidepressants for the first time in my life. I'm yet to fully discuss ADHD with them or a therapist, but it's a step in the right direction.
Next time I have the motivation and time to do so, I plan on making a flowchart to see if I am ready to study. It'll have things like: "Is your desk clean? No? Clean that first. How much motivation do you have to do this task?" I love flow charts because I have already done the thinking ahead of time! I already have one for panic attacks and I am obsessed
Sometimes when I feel like I should finish the commissioned painting I've had on my easel for weeks, I end up doing housework to avoid doing it or vise versa. Right now I should be putting in OT for work, but I had to get medicine for our bird, then got groceries, then cooked supper, then showered instead. All things that had to be done but now I'm taking a break, watching this trying to figure out how to get the motivation to go back to my desk and work. Guess I should start by sitting at my desk and logging in. Break the task down...
I'm glad you decided to do THIS video, and not the other one!! I needed this one. I often need reminders, to use something I already know. Funny how that is... In this case, small steps (sometimes REEAAALLY SMALL). Depending on the task and my "mood", I will break the task down into super small steps, or small bits of time (1-3 min, depending on my current lvl of focus.) It's good to be reminded that this works - Thank you!!
When I struggle but need to get things done, I use timers a lot. I set a timer for 10, 20, 30, 60 min (depending on focus level for that day, ) and then start working on anything. This helps me because I don't need to try and work on a specific task or worry about completing something. I just need to be doing anything until the timer goes. Then I set another timer for a short break and repeat. I'm often amazed at what i'm able to accomplish in such a short time using this method.
I’ve been watching your channel for a while, and I’ve been trying to get a diagnosis since I was a teenager. Non Stimulant medication doesn’t work for me, and I’ve had doctors who gave refused to believe that I’m ADHD, despite the fact it runs in my family. I finally have a good doctor, and next week I might finally have a diagnosis. I’m so excited.
"It's the same amount of work but requires less motivation"; I don't have ADHD (my bf does) but I actually started realizing this a few years ago and it is so true! I've stopped forcing myself to do things I just don't want to do (that I always felt I should want to do bc of others expectations, "shoulds", etc.), and I find myself having more energy for what I DO want to do, or care about. I'm actually finishing things, or sticking with them. The result has been a sense that I'm living each day so much more authentically. Thank you for these vids! I think a lot of these points could be immensely helpful for neurotypical people, too. Humans are often so conditioned to fight against/not listen to their brains, needs, bodies.
I started watching these videos because my daughter (who is on the ASD spectrum) was recently diagnosed with ADHD as well. But a lot of this helps people like me as well. I struggle with SAD and Hashimoto's. There are so many days when it takes a GARGANTUAN effort to just get up and show up. For a while I thought I might be ADHD but my psych disagreed. 🤔 But these videos address a LOT of the issues I struggle with too! 💜 Thank you for making them!
Thank you so much Jessica for all you do. I’m 31 and I was diagnosed with ADHD in August this year after seeking treatment for depression and anxiety. It’s been a whirlwind of relief, understanding and continued struggle as I navigate managing my executive dysfunction, finding the right medication to help me find focus. I’m giving FABULOUS a try since we haven’t found the sweet spot for me with medication just yet. This channel was one of the first resources of information I found after being officially diagnosed and realizing I had a lot to learn about my own brain. Thank you thank you thank you.
"Especially for those of us who grew up feeling like we couldn’t do anything right and needed to do extra to prove ourselves and our worth." I grew up with this and it still something that effects me to this day. Thanks for posting this video.
"to some it may be a luxury, but for us it's an accomodation" .....wow. when you said that it was like a switch flipped in my brain. This genuinely changed my life, I feel like I should embroider it on a pillow or something, like I feel like you just saved my life
For anyone studying. Watch class videos in 1.25 or 1.5 playback speed!!!! I've also realized tracking my study progress by writing what I have left leads to panic attacks and now I only track what I've done and get that feeling of accomplishment.
I just realized something today, and will henceforth be putting it into practice: I have a morning class t/th on zoom which makes me suuuper fidgety by the end. SO, I shall use this fidgety to get myself to exercise, and then once I've done that and am all sweaty and gross-feeling, that's a good motivation to shower (which has always felt like a floating task which has never been easy to cram into a schedule), and then afterwards I'll be hungry, and also no longer in the middle of anything, so then it'll be easier to get lunch! Sure, this plan is only applicable to the two days I have class, but a plan for two days is better than no plan any day! It worked beautifully today, we'll see if it holds up moving forward! I'm so excited, I finally have SOME sort of plan which works with and takes my brain into account! Now I just gotta wait for a spot to open up for adhd testing (they said theyd call me sometime in 2022, so that's... prob gonna be a while)
Perfect timing with this video! I just started my teacher training and boy, am I struggling with my lesson planning/essay workload. Not because it is hard but because there’s so much too do, it’s hard to start.
I don't have ADHD, but the "Do X" to "Do X, Y, and Z" translation thing is so relatable for me. Literally right before I watched this video, I had finished paperwork that was super easy when my mom joined in and helped me with it. But before then, when I was trying to do it on my own, I made everything more complicated than necessary, got overwhelmed, and ended up really emotionally dysregulated. Thanks for making my evening. ❤
Playing music late in the evening made me start on my job application paper the other day. I think I need to use music more to get motivation to start boring things like cleaning and fixing the apartment
Just had my initial counseling with the psychologist. She basically said “Yep, can’t officially say it’s ADHD but (it is)” so I get to go in next month to see the psychiatrist and start a med regiment. Got your book ordered so I’m super excited to get started!!
This resonated with me so much in my time of need that once the video was done I rewound it to watch the tips again. One thing that really got to me is the breaking things down. Its validating to hear that breaking things down smaller to the point of ridiculousness feels silly but who cares so long as it gets done. Sometimes I narrate to myself when I'm feeling extra demotivated so that I can do things like. "Okay, get up, pick up this and this and throw it away." Sometimes our coping mechanisms are weird and its easy to feel self-conscious about them and its easy to get caught up in how we "should" be i.e. why cant i be nuerotypical. I still struggle with this inner conflict, but its always nice to commisserate.
Paper breakdown so you don't have to make it yourself: -Figure out how many paragraphs you need. (i guestimate abt 4 paragraphs per page for my papers. Look through past ones and see how many you have) -Find paper 'Thesis' -Find a Topic for each paragraph -organize them so they flow better -In each paragraph think of Points to support the Topic -Research each topic if needed - Intro and conclusion paragraphs are just previewing your Thesis and Topics -Write one paragraph at a time -If a paragraph is hard write one sentence per Point and try to connect them. I may be terrible at researching but I'm fantastic at BSing papers.
My ADHD has finally gone into full sprint since I started college. My freshman and now junior year have been horrible.... everything is so overwhelming. Socializing, completing assignments, studying (sigh on this one😔), and taking care of myself. I can't hold onto a thought or sustain focus on anything for more than a minute. Furthermore, I honestly just feel like a loser cause I can't complete anything and have to exhaust myself for even the slightest motivation on one task. Life is just not the way it use to be😔
I love that even a year later, UA-cam can find and recommend me a video like this RIGHT when I needed it the most! Thank you. You're doing a great service to the neruodiverse/ADHD community 💙
One thing which I started recently and it worked is a PEMF band. I turn on the energy, mental capacity and relaxation mode with the break times of audio books and high energy music. Also, I started doing a very tedious task regularly from July; putting the dishes in the washer directly everyday, turning it on at the end of the day, then in the morning getting the dishes out and get the washer ready for another day. It felt tiresome,but after a week doing it with my favorite music it became fun and now it is a habit. It organized my kitchen and thoughts so well!! Cannot thank my friend for teaching that to me, he's not neurodiverse though.
Great topic! I have used some of these methods to keep up with housework. I used to spend a whole day of the weekend cleaning which was overwhelming and when we moved to a bigger house that I couldn’t possibly clean in one day, I broke it down into daily tasks that each only take 20-60 minutes. It has really helped me keep things manageable and always looking reasonable in case someone stops by.
I feel like this is something I needed to watch. Depression has been suuuuuper real for me the last few days and getting out of bed is a struggle... and so is work. And eating. Breaking things down is something I do for uni, but not something I thought to do to be able to just live. Thanks for making this video.
Thanks for these great videos! The vacuuming point resonated with me. I had problems motivating myself to vacuum, especially when if I had to carry the vacuum upstairs. I had an old, clunky, super-heavy vacuum with a bag that was a messy chore to replace and a cord that had to be uncoiled and recoiled with each use. So I REDUCED BARRIERS: I replaced it with a lightweight vacuum with automatic cord recoil and a canister that is a snap to empty. Starting the process is no longer a “daunting” task, and so I vacuum pretty much every week.
I was so looking forward to this one, but I wanted to watch it with my full attention so I waited a few days until I was ready! So many great tips as always! And emphasis on reducing shame for the incomplete things is so valuable! Sometimes my strategies get stale and ineffective so watching your videos helps me to remember which ones to try next!
I am currently wanting to find new job while struggling with focusing on my current one and, God, it is so hard. And what's worse, nobody just sees it, how I can't even start the search despite of my huge desire and hope. I am not diagnosed with ADHD and never got checked, but I always had similar motivational and focus issues since a primary school. Your videos really help me to feel more understood and better about myself. Thank you so much. I will try to break the search into smallest pieces and I hope that will help!
I read in an ADHD book recently that if a task you pass by only takes 2 minutes to do, ALWAYS do it! Examples: putting dirty dish in sink, rinsing the dirty dish and putting in the dishwasher, picking up dirty clothes, throwing something in the trash, hanging up your coat, etc. This has kept my house so much cleaner and its never painful to do. I also don't have super lengthy cleaning sessions anymore and people can drop in and my house will be clean enough. When the tasks do get long for deeper cleaning or dishes after a dinner party, etc. I put my wireless headphones in and listen to an interesting audiobook...I get my motivation this way because if I'm laying down and only listening to the book, I feel bored because Im not technically doing anything. when I pair it with cleaning, driving, dishes, etc its MAGIC. I have finished sooooo many books and cleaning doesn't bother me much anymore...sometimes I even look forward to it because its the only time I let myself listen to my books.
It often helps for me to write down why i am not doing said thing, because if its a reason I'm going to feel silly about later, i can change paths. But, breaking tasks into how hard they're going to be and having either an internal or external reminder that you want to get rid of the velociraptor pack just as much as the pterandons just as much as the giagantosaurus helps, because otherwise they all nom on you while you're still trying to figure out how to deal with the biggest one... Or, you know, level 1 less scary tasks are good to get rid of so the level 2 kinda scary ones or the level 3 very scary ones don't get lost in the overall mix. If you're more into numbers.🏃♀️💨🦖🦖🦖
Bizzarely I tend to get disinhibited/more motivated when I'm poorly (that's sick for the American audience). Since having COVID I've cleaned the toilet & the bathroom in general and mopped the kitchen floor, jobs I hadn't got done for ages. But other years with different illnesses I have sometimes had similar effects. Redone my garden & planted trees with a heavy cold. Tasks I'd been putting off for ages. Cleaning when I am upset & anxious is also a thing. The sequence of cleaning decluttering etc becomes a distracting focus and sense of control rather than usually feeling like the opposite, so that it's calming. Sensory stuff plus anxiety can sometimes get in the way for me. Dark rooms, quiet, or alternatively musical distractions, COVID-impaired sense of smell, something about the limitations and tired brainfog of being ill kind of narrows my focus down or makes it feel gentler. Brains are weird. I'm in referral for ADHD assessment. I have an autism diagnosis.
Something I’ve realized recently is that those of us with ADHD HATE doing things when we feel like we are being forced to do them. I’m almost like a stubborn child when it comes to this.
“Gameifying” and reminding yourself that you actually want to do X or Y are helpful.
This is similar to how, when I’m planning to do a thing, and someone asks me/tells me to do it, my brain immediately puts on the breaks and says “well I was GOING to and now you’ve told me to and that just ruined all of everything and I hate the idea and I don’t want to do it now!”
Like them mentioning it literally details my motivation entirely.
Especially if they asked me to do it and I said yes and then they started doing it because I wasn’t fast enough. Like... I didn’t realize you had a time limit in mind?
Any tips on gamifying?
@kris omg same!!! I hate being rushed 😅
I hate being told what to do, especially if I am in the process of doing it. I just leave it and do something else. IDK how to overcome this. When I am reminded about a deadline, I miss it. But if I am not reminded, I stick to it. What's up with that?
@@danatekhlay6304 I believe How To ADHD actually has a video on that!
"Riding the wave" is SO me. If I decide/feel that NOW is the moment to do the thing I've been putting off I KNOW I have to do it RIGHT NOW because God only knows when I'll have the resources/motivation to do it another time...
Oh gosh. I feel that. Especially with menstruation and all the stuff. Sometimes it just ain't the day and when it is... it needs to be done RIGHT NOW! Alas... Can't reach some institutions in the middle of the night LUL. But that's what e-mails are for.
Agreed. It’s so frustrating, as a teen, when I have to do something RIGHT NOW but I have to go to bed instead. Makes my head explode.
may or may not have gone to sleep at 5 am, because I hit the flow and well now i have to finish all those projects I started and couldn't bring myself to finish before and that's how long it took....
reasonable schedule? what reasonable schedule? RIDE THE WAVE. sigh... /flop over
Me too!!! I can NEVER use daily planners to plan in advance how my week will look, or even really create a weekly template for what I do each AM/PM. I know for a fact I will be feeling up for something differently depending on the day so I use reverse to-do lists and just roll with the punches most days. If it has a deadline, just seeing the impending deadline on my monthly summary in bright red ink will give me the motivation once it's like a week out hahaha.
I essentially can only do things when "I feel like it", it's like I have not just a wave but a waterfall or a hurricane
if I feel like doing something, I carries you at a very high speed (things like hyperfocus or when you wanna do something but can't and it feels almost physically unbearable not to do it)
and if I don't feel like it, it's like trying to swim upwards a waterfall and even the easiest things feel like torture :c
I cried for hours today cause I couldn't do my college assignments that are overdue. Thank you so so much for this video, I needed this today ❤️
Dude same, this was perfect timing!
@@texasbadger2574 Glad it wasn't just me! 😊
@@charmedpipper1 sameeee
Same bro. I get a microbiology exam due Friday and it’s so hard to study and I really want to. I don’t know how much longer I can do this without meds. You got this tho
You got this! 👍
Top 5 Ways to Shorten the Motivational Chasm:
01:51 = 1. Break the tasks down into smaller chunks
02:36 = 2. Reduce barriers to doing the task
03:11 = 3. Make the task itself easier
04:04 = 4. Get support with the task
04:32 = 5. Ride the wave
I decided to write this down for myself, so might as well share for those who need it written like I do.
Thank you!!! I was just about to write that a summary would really help! I was listening to it but not really absorbing it. Will screenshot your comment 😁
thank u so much!!! 😭
Thanks
Thanks I knew I wasn’t the only one that forgot some of them along the way….
Thank you Michael!
One thing that has really helped me is "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly". Eg, it doesn't matter if it's done properly or perfectly. As long as I do it, at all, even if that's the bare minimum, that's okay. And not just okay, but excellent! And that can help build habits so it's easier and easier to do things properly.
Thanks for sharing
I hear you, but that just feels so WRONG for me.
Mind you, I'm Pennsylvania Dutch. In addition to my ADHD, I'm a type A personality by both genetics and upbringing. (No way to dodge THAT bullet!) To give you a taste of my upbringing: my childhood pastor's favorite verse seemed to be "Be ye perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect", emphasis on the PERFECT. Yeah - try shaking that off even after a lifetime.
What my wife and I tell ourselves, at least with respect to the housework, is that "any bit of cleaning blesses the house". It's OK if we only did 1 small thing: it made our house better. There's the added bonus of what my wife's family calls "Chickie Murphy" syndrome: one bit of cleaning leads to another because you notice something else that needs doing. (It's basically the momentum Jessica mentioned in the video, with a specific house-cleaning angle.)
I like this because it sounds like it'll help solve procrastination caused by perfectionism, which I'm guilty of doing a lot. I feel pressure to do whatever the task is perfectly because that was a lot of the kind of pressure I felt growing up. I don't think I'll end up doing tasks poorly saying this but I do think it'll make it feel alright if I wasn't perfect or didn't have the energy to do better. I appreciate this
Perfection is the enemy of good
@@ldbarthel yup, I don't like doing dishes, but once I actually get started it can be easy to keep going, and then wipe the benches down, start organising things. Ride that energy/interest wave and focus it on things with a concrete outcome that you can point your brain to and think "see, we got a lot of useful stuff done, remember that positive feeling next time!"
One way that works great for me is to pick a song you like, tell yourself you'll finish a small task (like getting dressed) by the time the song is over, then play it and do it quickly. Super rewarding for adhd brain lol
I do this!! It really helps!!
I race against the kettle in the morning to empty the dishwasher, I get rewarded with a hot cuppa afterwards! 😊 I get so ridiculously fast towards the end if it's about to boil and I'm not quite finished 🤣
Creates the urgency but in a fun way. Very nice.
Sometimes I find it helps me more if I time myself to see how long something actually took me vs using a countdown timer since then I’ll be constantly aware of the time and can’t focus on what I’m doing. Figured I’d throw this alternative out there in case it helps when urgency isn’t helpful or needed.
That’s awesome!
I have no idea why, but if I frame these helpful tips as "ways to overcome a problem" they never work. If I however frame them as "sneaky ways to trick my brain" they can work wonders.
It's like gameifying but the end goal isn't getting stuff done, it's about making that side of you that's struggling make the pikachu face when you fool it into getting things done.
I did this with hampers recently! I often just dump clothes wherever. I bought hampers for every common place I drop clothes to not give my brain any wiggle room to cop out.
Now the trick is to remember to actually wash the clothes...
Thanks for sharing
It's funny; I'm the opposite. I was raised in an emotionally abusive home and dealt with a lot of lying, trickery, and smugness afterward, so I hate the idea of tricking myself. It actually makes it hard to research solutions for my issues because "tricking your brain" or your disorder is such a popular idea that it's mentioned almost everywhere, yet reading about it makes me feel almost nauseated.
yes!! I use sooooo many brain tricks to get myself to do things. it works really well. I think it makes me feel smart bc I outsmarted myself 🤣
I getcha. It amuses me that I'm able to trick myself while also being aware and intentional with it.
“Grew up feeling like we couldn’t do anything right. Like we had to prove ourselves and our worth”
Now that hit close to home.
I know how you feel.
Yes.
Your original video was the reason I got tested a few months ago and finally diagnosed with Inattentive-ADHD at 32. I was burning out HARD last year and at serious risk of losing my job and my home. Thank you for your passion and effort, your videos have really helped me 🖤
You win this round.
Aw wow! I'm so happy to hear you're getting the answers and support you need. Hugs!!!
@@HowtoADHD we love you so much!!!
I'm right here with you, friend. I burnt out of teaching BIG TIME last year, and even though I'm glad I quit my job, it has been really hard to make ends meet the last few months.
I’m 46 and got diagnosed last year
Yeah, we can work on increasing our motivation. ...But here are some hacks so we don't NEED as much motivation :)
Hello
@obi wan you traitor
Both works! 😁
Your a true mind reader my friend this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this stuff I know I have to do but I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! Your reading my thoughts my friend !!! I have ADHD too !!!
I laughed when I saw the vacuum robot! I had to get one of those. Makes at least one to-do thing easier... 😎👍❤
Me trying to be motivated to watch this video
No kiddin
It unsettles me to know I wasn't the only one. I'm literally forcing myself to stay and watch.
@@wolfenstein652 ofc it happens to me every time we are same bro😅😅
And I loves youse tooz sometimes it's just like a freaking war going on like I wanna win and it's not only a game cuz I made it one but which game am I trying to win at and when? Why NOW? LOL it's so true looooves you, 🧠 👑💋 you rule!!
Hahahahahajzjz trueeee😂😅😅😅😂😂
This is so helpful! I also find that using color helps me so much to get motivated. Sometimes I clean “by color” like anything I see that’s blue, I take care of it. Blue dishes to the sink, blue wrappers to the trash, blue clothes to the washing machine. It’s scattered and not as efficient as other ways that I clean but it starts the motivation train enough to get me going at a better pace!
That's so smart and sounds even fun
OoO I like that one! It's like a scavenger hunt!
That sounds really fun! Thank you for sharing this!
Nice! I'm going to try this. Thank you for the tip!
Oh wow that sounds so fun tbh 😁 I'm gonna try this one hehe
One of the challenges I have is once I break my task down into more manageable size tasks the overall picture looks so overwhelming that I have absolutely no motivation to do any of it… as one of us that has ADHD along with depression, motivation deficit, trauma and burnout…. I get to the point where I could care less if the task ever happens…🥺
I try to visually separate it. First I make a list of the "medium" steps, then I turn the page so I can't see the list and write the first step at the top of that page and list the small steps under it. It doesn't always work, but I try to only think about the small steps for that day.
same rip also ive been trying to trick my brain for so long in so many ways tht its like nah not this time homie i still dont think its happening lmao
Something I've found helps me when I don't want to do any of the tasks on the broken down list because it all feels overwhelming is to remind myself that doing one thing is better than doing no things. That, and physically writing it down if I'm holding the information in my brain. Either I feel like it's more approachable, or I feel validated in feeling a bit overwhelmed. And seeing a long list helps me understand that no, completing it all at once isn't realistic, because I never manage to cross more than 4 things off of a daily task list
one thing I do is to only determine the NEXT small step, not separate them all in advance. So I can make myself believe that only this small step is required. Then if all goes well, I can ride the wave a little and not have to determine the next small step until I've done more than that first one, without thinking about it too much. Lists/checklists are very overwhelming to me so I prefer going in "blind" kinda.
@@dma93-ch Nice tip! Planning everything out sometimes just seems like writing a list of failures that are yet to happen, because nothing ever goes completely to plan and I never know how long things will take. One step is (hopefully) doable, and it takes less planning! 😁
Also, I like how you've essentially taken Jess' "don't do more than required" tip and applied it to another tip (breaking things down into smaller tasks). Very cool.
Jess this is the eternal dilemma.
Whether it's procrastinating, over thinking what's already been done (did I do it properly, etc ) or self-distracting to not do it... I swear some days I wish I could have a transplant or something to address this.
At this point in my life... I would not have chosen this. If I could make it go away, I would.
I'm looking at a $50KAUD savings goal to fix something that my ADHD was instrumental in destroying. I don't think I'll be able to not hate having ADHD until I've done that. I'm gamifying it. Projected to take about 5 years.
There's something darkly twisted about a disability that requires good executive function to manage, literally the system that is not functioning correctly. I'm not saying the universe hates me, but...
@@MsJazbren that's just how mental problems work in the modern day. We have to learn to manage our mental problems. The good part though is that we have ways to help everyone manage what they want
I’m guessing we all have to do lists, but maybe a ta da list is also helpful. Make a separate list of the things you did and sometimes it is surprising what we actually get done. Then reward your self
Love this!
Thanks for sharing
That’s a great idea. I’m going to try this!
I sometimes do this on days where I felt like I didn't do much and get upset with myself because of it. And I personally must say that it helps me, I always do more than I think I do because I'm (usually) more focused on what I didn't.
This is something I do (...when I can remember to), and it's so great. It makes me feel like "I'm getting things done today! I'm on a roll and can get more done!" even when the things on the list aren't what I intended to do. I do find it works best if I write them down as soon as I do them, though, because who can remember things until the end of the day? Certainly not me. Plus, then when you read over it at the end of the day, you'll be surprised at how long the list is and feel good instead of feeling bad because you can't remember doing anything.
This makes me feel such a huge level of comfort knowing that the reasons I do what I do, are explainable and normal for those like me
exactly this omg
You are not alone! There are millions like us, but we use to hide our struggles because we feel so ashamed about not being able to do simple tasks
I am autistic and I find I really struggle getting motivation for tasks. I spesificly struggle with homework like math (I'm quite slow at math), tasks you need to do multiple times (like making a weekly planning), cleaning, working out, and tasks with many steps can become overwhelming quickly for me. And then I get random bursts of anxiety because I didn't do the thing yet and I know I want to do it and I should do it. But I didn't for some reason.
I always think about it when it's not apropriate, like when I'm trying to sleep.
Also, this channel is a great source of information, also for neurodiverse brains who don't have ADHD, but do stuggle with (some of) the syptomes.
You could have ADHD as well as being autistic.
I think there's something called "autistic inertia", which makes starting tasks particularly difficult
I often struggle to start something I want to do (fun things) and instead just keep sitting on the couch scrolling my phone :c
@@martmantzt I could, but I only got diagnosed with autism very recently. I was also tested on ADHD and they were not spesific bout it, they said something like: "most of the ADHD syptomes you have, are also found in autism." And that's it.
So basicly I don't know
@@Yes_this_is_my_cat Good luck on your diagnosis journey. No one knows your mind like you do.
I’m autistic too and I believe I might have adhd as well, I haven’t told anyone yet though. I REALLY struggle just doing things! And also finishing them… and staying focused on them and everything in between. I am currently doing online school and my sisters finish before 11am and then there’s me doing my work until 4pm, and I ask my parents why and they just tell me you don’t just sit down and get the work done, even though I keep saying a physically can’t do it, they just don’t listen to me. They have worked out I have motivation and procrastination issues but they think it’s depression, and trust me, I’m not depressed! And if I am depressed it’s the inability to do tasks that is making me depressed, not depression giving me the inability to just do a task! I also get bored quite easily. On the weekends, as where I am it’s lockdown it’s really hard to find things to do, I try and find fun things to do but just keep going from one thing to another, (like I’ll watch the start of a UA-cam video then click to go watch something else, then that’ll remind me I have a certain game on my iPad and play that for a bit, then I go back to UA-cam etc) the only thing that really makes me have fun is calling my friends, and most of the time they are unable to for some reason, so I’m stuck in a never ending circle of boredom, then when I tell my parents I’m bored they tell me that I’m only bored cause I’m not doing things that they are suggesting and it’s just that I don’t find what they like to do fun. I also stay up later than I’m supposed to thinking about random things when I’m lying in bed. So idk if this is adhd or not but yeah pls someone help me (also that’s not all of what I think is adhd just some of the main points)
If you haven’t already done it I’d love a video on HOW to break projects into smaller chunks. It’s the biggest advice everywhere but sometimes when I have a big project, I know I have to break into smaller steps to get it done but it’s like my brain literally can’t conceive of how this 1 big thing can be several smaller things.. and even if I do come up with multiple steps, they’re in a chaotic order and not actually step by step (like having “edit paper” first on my list before I’ve written the thing)
That’s my problem too! Like just…..how do you split things into small steps? It sounds so easy I know, but I just don’t know how
I don't know if this is what is actually meant by breaking down the steps, but what I do is only focus on the first step, in your example that could be to gather information about the topic of your paper. Once that's done, I'll think about the next step and the next step only, let's say write the introduction. And so on. If these steps are still too big, you can break them down even more, like getting to your desk, then opening your laptop, then going on the Wikipedia page of your topic, then searching through other websites, then maybe through a book...
I use this when cleaning a room. Example, the bathroom. Instead of the overwhelming thought of having to clean my WHOLE bathroom, i tell myself, first just clean the mirror. Then wipe down the vanity. Wipe down the sink. Scrub the interior of the toilet. Wipe exterior of toilet. Spray shower with cleaner. Use a little elbow grease on shower. Rinse shower. Shake rug. Vacuum floor. Wipe down floor or mop the floor. Change out towels. Take out the trash. Whoa, suddenly the WHOLE bathroom is DONE! On bad days we could break it down further: Walk to the spot where supplies are stored. Get your cleaner. Walk to the bathroom. Spray the cleaner. Wipe the cleaner up. Rinse. Etc. I realize I do this automatically with 'ROOM' tasks, now I want to try to apply it to other tasks to break them down when I am overwhelmed.
@@kyliecarpenter4806 read my reply above, maybe that will help
Paper breakdown so you don't have to make it yourself:
-Figure out how many paragraphs you need. (i guestimate abt 4 paragraphs per page for my papers. Look through past ones and see how many you have)
-Find paper 'Thesis'
-Find a Topic for each paragraph
-organize them so they flow better
-In each paragraph think of Points to support the Topic
-Research each topic if needed
- Intro and conclusion paragraphs are just previewing your Thesis and Topics
-Write one paragraph at a time
-If a paragraph is hard write one sentence per Point and try to connect them.
I may be terrible at researching but I'm fantastic at BSing papers.
Thanks so much for this, I get a lot of the paralysis, sitting on the sofa staring into the abyss looking towards the endless depths...
me too
I’ve noticed that sometimes on bad days I will stop in a doorway and just stand there. Paralyzed. For minutes. Blah!
That was literally every single hour of my day today
Happens more times than I care to mention
Dude I swear this girl is mind reader, this is exactly the problem I'm having right now, there is all this krap I have to do and I can't even get motivated to do any of it !!! This girl is litteraly reading my thoughts right now !!! She is mind reader I swear!!!
Uh… the “girl” is in her thirties, so can we maybe get in the habit of calling adults ladies or women instead?
The label of “girl” well into middle age, is deeply harmful. It’s a form of prejudice that promotes the idea that women are inferior or lack agency and need decisions made for them.
Jessica McCabe is not “a mind reader.” She’s intelligent, hardworking, has done a lot of research and runs a company. If you ran into a man like that, you wouldn’t call him “boy.” Have some respect.
Struggling with the stigma of objective dysfunction and its perceived correlation to laziness has been one of the hardest struggles for me with ADHD.
I’m hoping others can relate to the shame of being unable to force yourself to do a much-needed task. It is a vicious cycle, as the shame demotivates me further, and the task list grows ever longer.
One small thing that helps me, especially in the “work vs play” conundrum, is if a task comes to mind, and I’m already up, I will immediately do that task. My mind often says “Just do it later”, but then chooses to forget about it later xD “You’re already up” has honestly been one of the best motivators for me!
I cannot thank you enough for your channel! I got diagnosed at age 45 and that was it. Diagnosis. No explanation about how ADHD impacted my entire damn life, explains things I’ve done in my past and still feel guilty or embarrassed by or still harangue myself for. Your channel has helped me explain to my husband why I do things that he thinks I should just be able to stop doing. I just....I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so so much!
I find setting a timer for a short period, like fifteen minutes, and trying to accomplish a set piece of the task before the artificial deadline can help. Love your videos.
That is very helpful.
yes some crazy people set the time to study for like 90mins?? i can't even stay focused 10mins... do i usually set it to how i feel 20, 25 or 30 but not more cause i know i won't be able to do that
It's not a bad idea my problem would be that I would forget where I left off and then I'd have to start over from scratch every time which would be pointless lol
I use a timer with tasks I hate, like sorting and filing receipts and bills and tasks that I am likely to lose track of time or make myself overtired like heavy weeding. I use alarms a lot too.
I have a hard time with this one. 15 is too long. I've heard try 5 minute and even that feels too long.
i have been sitting at my desk for 4 hours staring at a mountain of school work. just made my super broken-down list of tasks and feeling ready to work!!! thank u as always
That's so great!! You got this!
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but this really, really resonates with me. I've got a dozen unfinished projects on my plate at any given time, and no motivation to do anything about it. It feels overwhelming and I don't know where to start, sometimes I'll go out in the garage and try to get something done and after about 5 minutes just go back in the house, or just stand around with a beer in my hand.
Walk or stretch to your favorite positive music for 5-10 minutes(or longer if you want) before working on a boring task ( homework,chores) then do the task. This allowed me to do my work on time for school! I get the dopamine hit to start doing my homework. I am able to motivate to do my homework. As I do my hW, I am motivated to continue doing it. A must try!!!!!!!
I've started doing an exercise where i treat my "morning me" as someone I can help. I'm more motivated to set up my work out stuff, put a protein shake next to my medication, and clean up anything off my floor.
That's a great way to look at it. I'm always more motivated to help someone else than I am to help myself.
Nice! Your future self will thank you for it! 😍
What you said about number 5 "Ride the wave" where you can do the thing you are motivated to do, even if it is not what you planned to do, reminds me of something I learned after listening to the book "The Gap and The Gain" By Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. It's not actually in the book, but it's something I learned after applying it in my life. This book taught me a critical skill, how to be in the gain and not the gap. I found out that I have been in the gap my entire life, and have been constantly applying unhealthy gap ways of thinking to everything. By not thinking in terms of ideals, but instead of progress, and counting my wins, I started becoming more spontaneous, ready to enjoy and seize the wins the day offers me instead of only caring about the ones I originally intended on.
Watching this and sobbing because I’ve never felt so seen. I’ve been struggling so much with adhd and lacking motivation. Combining that with depression, anxiety, burnout, and trauma and I’m just having the hardest time doing even the smallest things. Thank you so much for the content you make.
The motivation bridge metaphor video was the first one I watched that led me to seek an adhd diagnosis. Thank you for what you do!! ❤️
Lol, just yesterday on TikTok I posted I was stuck and asked folks to stitch up posts telling me to get to work, however they wanted, whether they wanted to yell and call me lazy or tell me about how they get motivated. Giving them permission to say things that normally might take away planks ended up giving me planks just knowing that they cared enough to support me at all. I almost got to and completed everything I wanted to do.
I always tear up watching this channel. My whole life I thought I was the only one with these problems. It’s extremely comforting knowing I’m not, but it’s still hard knowing I am hardwired a certain way that inhibits me from achieving as quickly as I could without being this way
Thank you for this video, I'm in bed trying to get myself to do a lot of homework.
Big big thanks from Canada 🙃
I am just now figuring out that I have Inattentive ADHD at 45, thanks to my best friend's daughter getting diagnosed and me seeing your videos, but I have also dealt with some injuries and illness. Once I started to feel remotely better I started to "see" the mess and literal cobwebs in the corner. I wanted to start cleaning more, but I was still struggling with motivation. Taking some tips from Fly Lady helped, but I also got a fake kids tiara and a kids cape from the Dollar Tree and would wear them while cleaning! Made it much more fun and motivating!
Thank you! I have always tried to explain to people that it feels like I literally cannot do something even if I want to. They usually assume that means depression or laziness. I've been depressed and I'm not anymore, but I still can't do the things. Sometimes I can do the things though, and I have no idea why.
It's like I wake up feeling good and drink just the right amount of coffee or something and for some reason things are just easier that day. I'm just wondering if there is a reason for this motivation? Is it random or is there something I can do to make it happen more often? Or maybe it's just hyperfocus?
I feel ya! I think for me when I have those random productive days, it's actually all getting done because I'm procrastinating something else that Should be done that time/day (vs. all these things that are still good to get done..or not..lol. but I should have done them at more appropriate times).
@@naurekk I relate so hard. If I need to do something that's difficult for me because it's boring or intimidating, I tend to avoid doing the thing by doing housework instead. Like I'm justifying the avoidance by telling myself that I needed to do laundry anyway. 🙄 this frustrates me to no end, but at least it is better than not doing the task AND not doing laundry. 🤷♂️🤦♂️ I wish I had a hack for knowing what needs to be prioritized.
This is 100% me. It feels like luck, and I don't know how to "summon" the luck, even when I do as much as I can to help, by having breakfast and my coffee and my meds all on time and playing music.... So much of the time, it *doesn't work* and I don't know why.
@@chimbo8741 that would be helpful if I could get into the habit of doing housework when I procrastinate doing something else.... Maybe someday. Right now I'm still trying to actually do housework at all.
I go through this too. You are not the only one. And same about the depression. Been there done that it's not that.
The concept of "No Zero Days" has helped me with larger goals. It's a way of addressing motivation and building habits.
Want to develop en excercise habit but not got enough time today to do the ½hr workout? 1 pushup or lift counts as 'non zero'.
I have been sorting out my room for 2 years now. It was full of half completed projects and my deceased parent's stuff that I hadn't been able to part with. Nothing would happen for months until the build up of frustration led to a burst of effort. The rate of progress since I started a 'No Zero Days' approach has been marked. Some days I may only remove 1 piece of rubbish, other days I might get 15 minutes in and make a bit of an impact. Occasionally I do an hour or so, e.g. I had a very old and defunct rowing machine and I spent about an hour on 3 consecutive nights dismantling it for scrap. Frustration is lower and it's beginning to feel like a space I want to spend time in.
Note the room was so bad when I started that there was no space to move. I can now see the end in sight! I have a floor!
Thank you for much for this video! It came at the perfect time. I've got sooo much work I need to do and I've been struggling so hard to make an attempt with it. It's just been so difficult, I don't have the energy to do much. But I know this video can inspire me and many others too, I appreciate it so much! To everyone out there, you're not alone in this, we've got this together and we'll keep trying ❤️
my fave trick is to use sticky notes instead of writing lists. one task per sticky is the rule. putting the to-dos on the left side of the white board i can move them into an order that can be easily changed, or group them into categories or just pick the one that requires the least motivation that day. or the one with the most pressing deadline.
when a sticky gets done, i move it to the right side of the board so i can track my progress, which much more rewarding than crossing it off a written list as if it doesn’t count anymore or as if i’d done it wrong.
plus colored paper and markers are more fun than a pen and notebook.
and i can snap a photo so it lives in my phone - no need to track a notebook which of course i will undoubtedly lose.
Really great timing, i feel really demotivated rn and not well and i have alot of school work to do rn, thank you so much, your such a great person *hugs*
I'm with you on the 'great timing' bus 🚍 💪
I'm in the same boat! We got this😜
Omg thanks you guys, good luck to you guys aswell stay safe!!
One thing I realized is even when I break things down like if working out feels like too much then I tell myself “just work out for 10 minutes”. But even when I tell myself 10 minutes is enough, deep down I still expect myself to workout for longer then that so making the task smaller doesn’t actually help me. So what I did is made myself really work out for just 10 minutes and even if I had enough motivation to keep going after 10 minutes, I would still stop after 10 minutes. So then when I don’t want to work out and tell myself “just 10 minutes” my brain knows I really can just do 10 minutes and that’s enough. I’m horrible at explaining things so I hope that made sense and others can relate.
I got diagnosed with ADHD on the 11th. Your videos have helped me understand myself better. Now, thanks to you, I'm trying to be nicer to myself & more understanding of myself. I feel less lonely now. Thank you so much for what you do.
I find sometimes getting people to agree to plans but on the condition that this thing gets done sometimes helps.
Like "hey do we wanna do this fun thing tonight? (I'm struggling with motivation to clean my room.)"
If it's not a big thing on the part of the friend, having that pressure, and a reward that you can't give yourself prematurely is a good trick
Building off the tip to break things down large tasks into smaller parts, I find it really helpful to frame it as I'm doing "future me" a favor. That way, if I end up procrastinating and waiting until the last minute (which is likely haha), I have at least taken some of the burden off future me's shoulders!
I'm the opposite. I frame it as I'll do this little bit and 'future me' can deal with the rest.
I tend to be nasty to future me 😂 but if I pretend the menial task is for someone else, like I'm cleaning for my bf or for my sister instead of just myself then I feel better about doing it. Or I pretend I'm someone's personal assistant and have a very scary boss lmao
@@jeng6786 I actually love that too!
For someone with ADHD your videos are very well organized and executed. I don't have ADHD, but I deal with depression. Your videos seem to help me too.
Omg! These tips are SO helpful! I've definitely used the breaking tasks down into small ones. Even if it feels silly because it REALLY helps. I'm at a point in my life where I task myself with the small/simple to-dos and then immediately afterwards give myself a little applause saying, "Yayy, you did it! Good job!!
I love your tattoo self-love idea! Brilliant way to break the loop. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
I don't have ADHD, my son does, but my motivation is horrible. This video is wonderful for everyone. Thank you
wish this was around when i was a kid. now as a adult i notice there is a lot of what you talk about that would help me. just wish i could of heard most of this when i was in high school. keep them coming your doing good work
I HATE putting my groceries away, because it involves cleaning out the fridge first, probably emptying the sink and dishwasher, taking out the trash, etc etc. So, I've started listening to podcasts or youtube videos while I put away the groceries and it's really helped the motivation factor.
Very great tools for the tool box. So thankful for this channel. It’s helped me go from completely clueless to understanding my ADHD and getting a better handle on it. Keep up the amazing work, it’s very much appreciated
I get in the perfection or nothing mode.
I heard a quote the other day. It helps me with that. “I’ll take done over perfect, because perfect never gets done.”
It helps me. I hope it’ll help someone else.
@howtoadhd, for me this became even more difficult once menopause hit me. Having to motivate myself along with other things has become a lot more challenging.
Honestly I've noticed during certain points in my cycle my symptoms get worse. I'm not diagnosed yet, but one of the main things I've noticed is I am more forgetful and lose things easier while on my period, and have some issues during the week of ovulation. but the worst symptoms happen on my period. I've read that for women, this is something a lot of us notice and have issues with :/ It's rather annoying when I need to get stuff done
@@Beetletreuse I can relate, it is quite frustrating not being able to get stuff done like I once use to. Not sure if this will help you but what I’ve learned is to be gentle with myself and re-learning new methods to accomplish things I used to do with a lot less effort. I know it will take some time to re-learn new habits but my hope is that I can accomplish it. I really enjoy watching this channel as it helped me pick up tips on how to help myself.
Yes, I went through menopause early at 42 and I definitely have had more issues. I'm just figuring out that I have Inattentive ADHD.
I find creating motivation through my kids helps. I know they enjoy a activity, therefore that helps me keep a little more motivated to keep at it.
I have a few places around my apartment that having some artwork, like separate smaller bridges, would be very helpful to work as a visual stimuli not only to give motivation, but to manage my expectations and divide the task into smaller tasks.
I really appreciate the tips. What has been working for me lately, is music. I just put on my headphones and forget about everything else, and it tricks my brain into focusing on the task at hand. I create playlists for each tasks. In that way, I know when I'm finished with one task, when to start the next one, and it keeps me pumped. I even have a 9hr playlist for work. My peeps and coworkers know that when I have my headphones on, things are getting done.
this video came out at the perfect time, I've got SO MUCH work to get done and I've been procrastinating it for weeks and now i think I'll finally be able to do it, thanks jessica ❤️
One thing I do is by doing easy non related tasks to slowly building my momentum for task completion. Like if I for example have a big paper to write for school, I'll start by doing something unrelated that's quick and easy to do (like make my bed, take the dishes out of my room), then do another slightly bigger task (like start my laundry, sweep the floor) that way I can use the dopamine from a completed task to fuel the motivation for my big task at hand. Kind of a similar concept to ride the wave but a little more naunced. I'm not saying this works for everyone just one that has worked for me in the past. Word of warning though, sometimes you end up doing a big task that you've been meaning to do instead of the taste that you meant to do. Like cleaning the whole house instead of your big school paper. And this has happened to me but instead of being discouraged, say to yourself well it wasn't what I meant to get done but I got something big done and congratulate yourself on that instead of beating yourself up over not doing what you meant to do.
Mate thanks a million!
You have no idea how helpful this was for me, I really needed this right now
Aw good! Thanks for letting me know :)
removing the barriers is definitely a HUGE thing
the biggest and most helpful take away from my therapy was stop trying to just "overpower" things you struggle with but modify your environment so they become easier
also, being honest and non judgmental about what these barriers are and how to fix them
I'm very particular about a lot of seemingly small things and used judge myself that "it shouldn't affect me", but if doing something that feels silly helps me do things, who cares?
I appreciate you so much you have given me everything I need to know about ADHD because of you my life with ADHD is a lot easier! I have showed my parents a lot of your videos and now they understand everything I go through❤️ thank you
Helpline 👆🏻👆🏻 Whats App the number above ⬆️ for guidance and help..
I’m familiar with 5. Ride the wave. It’s easier to do when you have multiple tasks that need to be accomplished but the other is (mostly) arbitrary.
However I’m very strongly considering 4. Get help//do it together. So I have been contemplating hiring someone to push me, drag me, pull me, kick me, just get me to do what I need to do. I figure once the project is started, it might be easier for me to get somewhat self motivated
Just what I needed to read 255+ pages of dry theory for uni this week
Smart reading helps me! Defining what questions you have of the text or what you need to understand from it before you start reading. That way you don't have to get overwhelmed with all the ideas there and just keep focused on those particular aims of the reading instead ☺
Narrator: she did not, in fact, read the 255+ pages for the week. She was mostly just stuck in adhd paralysis mode.
Breaking tasks down into smaller tasks is basically my life strategy, with planned breaks/rewards when the small step is reached. Sometimes just finishing the task isn't really rewarding, but knowing that I "earned myself" a small break really can be.
I'm working on the "don't make it harder on myself than it has to be" and "asking for help" steps....turns out neither of those are easy for me. But I'm trying and I'll get better little by little.
3:43 Oof, that hits close to home :')
This was a great video! I've been using a lot of these tips already, and especially breaking big tasks down into smaller ones helps a lot.
Sometimes I try working for just a few minutes with a timer. It helps to reduce the perceived size of the task and gets me into that 'flow' too!
That's when I cried.
@@jonnivaldes5597 Completely understandable. I hope you're alright
@@RamblePrism Thanks, yeah. I think it was tears of relief. That happens a lot when I watch Jessica's videos. There's a sense of "I'm not alone and I'm not crazy (or lazy or useless or insert whatever other shameful thing I've thought because I didn't understand my own brain.) It's a good feeling ultimately. :)
@@jonnivaldes5597 Yeah! I completely understand
This makes so much sense now...Yesterday I was called stupid by someone for not wanting to pick up and change everything about my setup. It made me feel awful and I couldnt explain why it was so important for me to keep things as they were. I realize now that I had things set up in a way I had everything I needed and kept myself focused and motivated and moving everything meant having to redo everything and abandoning things that helped me so much! That felt so overwhelming! And having someone call me stupid for it didnt help either.
Thank you for making me feel like Im not awful for every little thing my brain does.
Do you have any advice for those of us who--out of necessity to function--overplan? If I don't make a to-do list I find myself extremely inefficient, and yet on the flip side, I end up hyper-focusing on planning to the point where I end up wasting time on said list(s).
I have that problem myself. Unfortunately I haven’t figure out the answer yet either.
You gotta check out the tutorial on the bullet journal. There are some useful tips about planning in general.
As someone who has sometimes crippling ADHD I am extremely grateful for your videos, and thank you for helping me to understand my disorder and overcome it.
I just love when your content aligns perfectly with what I need. I was literally searching for ADHD productivity tools this morning. Then you uploaded this 🤩
Hi Jess, I just want you to know that you seriously help even those who have not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD.
I deleted a large percentage of my subscriptions a month or so ago, which allowed in "fresh and new", and frankly what I needed. That's when I met you. Your vids kept being suggested to me on my home page, and your titles (and thumbnail animations) spoke to me, regardless of the channel moniker. Finally, I watched my first video of yours, and instantly connected.
I've been subscribed to you since then; you _really_ speak to me. So much so that I even self-tested on 2 or 3 ADD/ADHD sites. Still don't "qualify", but my brain patterns and behaviors _certainly echo so much of what you present/discuss._
A beautiful balance of brevity & directness, understanding & validation, humor & fantastic personality, resources and practical _doable_ solutions are what you provide for me, and I truly appreciate all of it and you. I had to let you know.
On my best days, worst days, and all in between... I thank you, Thank You, *THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!*
Wellness wishes to All 💖
One of my ones, have a race with a friend or make a ridiculous bet I.e I bet I can colour code the doom pile by the door faster than you can grab the grocerys. 2 for the price of one
Your videos helped me understand that I've been dealing with ADHD symptoms regularly my whole life. Realizing that gave me the motivation to call my doctor, for the time being I'm on antidepressants for the first time in my life. I'm yet to fully discuss ADHD with them or a therapist, but it's a step in the right direction.
Next time I have the motivation and time to do so, I plan on making a flowchart to see if I am ready to study. It'll have things like: "Is your desk clean? No? Clean that first. How much motivation do you have to do this task?" I love flow charts because I have already done the thinking ahead of time! I already have one for panic attacks and I am obsessed
Helpline 👆🏻👆🏻 Whats App the number above ⬆️ for guidance and help..
Sometimes when I feel like I should finish the commissioned painting I've had on my easel for weeks, I end up doing housework to avoid doing it or vise versa. Right now I should be putting in OT for work, but I had to get medicine for our bird, then got groceries, then cooked supper, then showered instead. All things that had to be done but now I'm taking a break, watching this trying to figure out how to get the motivation to go back to my desk and work. Guess I should start by sitting at my desk and logging in. Break the task down...
I'm glad you decided to do THIS video, and not the other one!! I needed this one. I often need reminders, to use something I already know. Funny how that is...
In this case, small steps (sometimes REEAAALLY SMALL).
Depending on the task and my "mood", I will break the task down into super small steps, or small bits of time (1-3 min, depending on my current lvl of focus.)
It's good to be reminded that this works - Thank you!!
When I struggle but need to get things done, I use timers a lot. I set a timer for 10, 20, 30, 60 min (depending on focus level for that day, ) and then start working on anything. This helps me because I don't need to try and work on a specific task or worry about completing something. I just need to be doing anything until the timer goes. Then I set another timer for a short break and repeat. I'm often amazed at what i'm able to accomplish in such a short time using this method.
I’ve been watching your channel for a while, and I’ve been trying to get a diagnosis since I was a teenager. Non Stimulant medication doesn’t work for me, and I’ve had doctors who gave refused to believe that I’m ADHD, despite the fact it runs in my family.
I finally have a good doctor, and next week I might finally have a diagnosis. I’m so excited.
"It's the same amount of work but requires less motivation"; I don't have ADHD (my bf does) but I actually started realizing this a few years ago and it is so true! I've stopped forcing myself to do things I just don't want to do (that I always felt I should want to do bc of others expectations, "shoulds", etc.), and I find myself having more energy for what I DO want to do, or care about. I'm actually finishing things, or sticking with them. The result has been a sense that I'm living each day so much more authentically. Thank you for these vids! I think a lot of these points could be immensely helpful for neurotypical people, too. Humans are often so conditioned to fight against/not listen to their brains, needs, bodies.
I started watching these videos because my daughter (who is on the ASD spectrum) was recently diagnosed with ADHD as well. But a lot of this helps people like me as well. I struggle with SAD and Hashimoto's. There are so many days when it takes a GARGANTUAN effort to just get up and show up. For a while I thought I might be ADHD but my psych disagreed. 🤔 But these videos address a LOT of the issues I struggle with too! 💜 Thank you for making them!
Just getting started is better than thinking this will take too much time or I don't have this much time right now
Thank you so much Jessica for all you do. I’m 31 and I was diagnosed with ADHD in August this year after seeking treatment for depression and anxiety. It’s been a whirlwind of relief, understanding and continued struggle as I navigate managing my executive dysfunction, finding the right medication to help me find focus. I’m giving FABULOUS a try since we haven’t found the sweet spot for me with medication just yet. This channel was one of the first resources of information I found after being officially diagnosed and realizing I had a lot to learn about my own brain. Thank you thank you thank you.
Helpline 👆🏻👆🏻 Whats App the number above ⬆️ for guidance and help..
"Especially for those of us who grew up feeling like we couldn’t do anything right and needed to do extra to prove ourselves and our worth." I grew up with this and it still something that effects me to this day.
Thanks for posting this video.
"to some it may be a luxury, but for us it's an accomodation" .....wow. when you said that it was like a switch flipped in my brain. This genuinely changed my life, I feel like I should embroider it on a pillow or something, like I feel like you just saved my life
For anyone studying. Watch class videos in 1.25 or 1.5 playback speed!!!! I've also realized tracking my study progress by writing what I have left leads to panic attacks and now I only track what I've done and get that feeling of accomplishment.
I just realized something today, and will henceforth be putting it into practice: I have a morning class t/th on zoom which makes me suuuper fidgety by the end. SO, I shall use this fidgety to get myself to exercise, and then once I've done that and am all sweaty and gross-feeling, that's a good motivation to shower (which has always felt like a floating task which has never been easy to cram into a schedule), and then afterwards I'll be hungry, and also no longer in the middle of anything, so then it'll be easier to get lunch!
Sure, this plan is only applicable to the two days I have class, but a plan for two days is better than no plan any day! It worked beautifully today, we'll see if it holds up moving forward!
I'm so excited, I finally have SOME sort of plan which works with and takes my brain into account! Now I just gotta wait for a spot to open up for adhd testing (they said theyd call me sometime in 2022, so that's... prob gonna be a while)
Perfect timing with this video! I just started my teacher training and boy, am I struggling with my lesson planning/essay workload. Not because it is hard but because there’s so much too do, it’s hard to start.
I don't have ADHD, but the "Do X" to "Do X, Y, and Z" translation thing is so relatable for me. Literally right before I watched this video, I had finished paperwork that was super easy when my mom joined in and helped me with it. But before then, when I was trying to do it on my own, I made everything more complicated than necessary, got overwhelmed, and ended up really emotionally dysregulated. Thanks for making my evening. ❤
Playing music late in the evening made me start on my job application paper the other day. I think I need to use music more to get motivation to start boring things like cleaning and fixing the apartment
Just had my initial counseling with the psychologist. She basically said “Yep, can’t officially say it’s ADHD but (it is)” so I get to go in next month to see the psychiatrist and start a med regiment. Got your book ordered so I’m super excited to get started!!
This resonated with me so much in my time of need that once the video was done I rewound it to watch the tips again. One thing that really got to me is the breaking things down. Its validating to hear that breaking things down smaller to the point of ridiculousness feels silly but who cares so long as it gets done.
Sometimes I narrate to myself when I'm feeling extra demotivated so that I can do things like. "Okay, get up, pick up this and this and throw it away." Sometimes our coping mechanisms are weird and its easy to feel self-conscious about them and its easy to get caught up in how we "should" be i.e. why cant i be nuerotypical. I still struggle with this inner conflict, but its always nice to commisserate.
Paper breakdown so you don't have to make it yourself:
-Figure out how many paragraphs you need. (i guestimate abt 4 paragraphs per page for my papers. Look through past ones and see how many you have)
-Find paper 'Thesis'
-Find a Topic for each paragraph
-organize them so they flow better
-In each paragraph think of Points to support the Topic
-Research each topic if needed
- Intro and conclusion paragraphs are just previewing your Thesis and Topics
-Write one paragraph at a time
-If a paragraph is hard write one sentence per Point and try to connect them.
I may be terrible at researching but I'm fantastic at BSing papers.
My ADHD has finally gone into full sprint since I started college. My freshman and now junior year have been horrible.... everything is so overwhelming. Socializing, completing assignments, studying (sigh on this one😔), and taking care of myself. I can't hold onto a thought or sustain focus on anything for more than a minute. Furthermore, I honestly just feel like a loser cause I can't complete anything and have to exhaust myself for even the slightest motivation on one task. Life is just not the way it use to be😔
I love that even a year later, UA-cam can find and recommend me a video like this RIGHT when I needed it the most! Thank you. You're doing a great service to the neruodiverse/ADHD community 💙
One thing which I started recently and it worked is a PEMF band. I turn on the energy, mental capacity and relaxation mode with the break times of audio books and high energy music. Also, I started doing a very tedious task regularly from July; putting the dishes in the washer directly everyday, turning it on at the end of the day, then in the morning getting the dishes out and get the washer ready for another day. It felt tiresome,but after a week doing it with my favorite music it became fun and now it is a habit. It organized my kitchen and thoughts so well!! Cannot thank my friend for teaching that to me, he's not neurodiverse though.
Great topic! I have used some of these methods to keep up with housework. I used to spend a whole day of the weekend cleaning which was overwhelming and when we moved to a bigger house that I couldn’t possibly clean in one day, I broke it down into daily tasks that each only take 20-60 minutes. It has really helped me keep things manageable and always looking reasonable in case someone stops by.
I feel like this is something I needed to watch.
Depression has been suuuuuper real for me the last few days and getting out of bed is a struggle... and so is work. And eating.
Breaking things down is something I do for uni, but not something I thought to do to be able to just live. Thanks for making this video.
Thanks for these great videos! The vacuuming point resonated with me. I had problems motivating myself to vacuum, especially when if I had to carry the vacuum upstairs. I had an old, clunky, super-heavy vacuum with a bag that was a messy chore to replace and a cord that had to be uncoiled and recoiled with each use. So I REDUCED BARRIERS: I replaced it with a lightweight vacuum with automatic cord recoil and a canister that is a snap to empty. Starting the process is no longer a “daunting” task, and so I vacuum pretty much every week.
I was so looking forward to this one, but I wanted to watch it with my full attention so I waited a few days until I was ready! So many great tips as always! And emphasis on reducing shame for the incomplete things is so valuable! Sometimes my strategies get stale and ineffective so watching your videos helps me to remember which ones to try next!
I am currently wanting to find new job while struggling with focusing on my current one and, God, it is so hard. And what's worse, nobody just sees it, how I can't even start the search despite of my huge desire and hope. I am not diagnosed with ADHD and never got checked, but I always had similar motivational and focus issues since a primary school. Your videos really help me to feel more understood and better about myself. Thank you so much. I will try to break the search into smallest pieces and I hope that will help!
I read in an ADHD book recently that if a task you pass by only takes 2 minutes to do, ALWAYS do it! Examples: putting dirty dish in sink, rinsing the dirty dish and putting in the dishwasher, picking up dirty clothes, throwing something in the trash, hanging up your coat, etc. This has kept my house so much cleaner and its never painful to do. I also don't have super lengthy cleaning sessions anymore and people can drop in and my house will be clean enough. When the tasks do get long for deeper cleaning or dishes after a dinner party, etc. I put my wireless headphones in and listen to an interesting audiobook...I get my motivation this way because if I'm laying down and only listening to the book, I feel bored because Im not technically doing anything. when I pair it with cleaning, driving, dishes, etc its MAGIC. I have finished sooooo many books and cleaning doesn't bother me much anymore...sometimes I even look forward to it because its the only time I let myself listen to my books.
It often helps for me to write down why i am not doing said thing, because if its a reason I'm going to feel silly about later, i can change paths. But, breaking tasks into how hard they're going to be and having either an internal or external reminder that you want to get rid of the velociraptor pack just as much as the pterandons just as much as the giagantosaurus helps, because otherwise they all nom on you while you're still trying to figure out how to deal with the biggest one...
Or, you know, level 1 less scary tasks are good to get rid of so the level 2 kinda scary ones or the level 3 very scary ones don't get lost in the overall mix. If you're more into numbers.🏃♀️💨🦖🦖🦖
Bizzarely I tend to get disinhibited/more motivated when I'm poorly (that's sick for the American audience). Since having COVID I've cleaned the toilet & the bathroom in general and mopped the kitchen floor, jobs I hadn't got done for ages. But other years with different illnesses I have sometimes had similar effects. Redone my garden & planted trees with a heavy cold. Tasks I'd been putting off for ages. Cleaning when I am upset & anxious is also a thing. The sequence of cleaning decluttering etc becomes a distracting focus and sense of control rather than usually feeling like the opposite, so that it's calming.
Sensory stuff plus anxiety can sometimes get in the way for me. Dark rooms, quiet, or alternatively musical distractions, COVID-impaired sense of smell, something about the limitations and tired brainfog of being ill kind of narrows my focus down or makes it feel gentler. Brains are weird. I'm in referral for ADHD assessment. I have an autism diagnosis.