They always Hoover once they thought about you or if the new supply isnt giving them enough . They’ll also Hoover to make sure that you’re under control .
I consider myself fortunate with the fact that I haven't heard a word from him since the relationship ended. Then again I made it clear that I have a loaded 9mm. I'm finally gaining back by self confidence, my voice and pieces of my sanity that I felt like I lost dealing with an extremely narcissistic boyfriend.
@@donna6368 he'll be back. Mine called after 11 months... 12 times til I started worrying if he was ok and stupidly responded. A short few days of intense communication followed by another discard when he didn't like the truth ( which I was relieved about) then tonight again two months later. this has been going on for five years. I got a new number recently thankfully but still have the old for work stuff. So annoyed that I don't even have it on most of the time but tonight needed a code that was text to me and bam ... Missed hoover call. Now I'm here being annoyed. 9mm illegal here!!! 😡😡😡😡
Proof: ask to look through their cell phone. If they give it to you without a fight, they have nothing to hide. If they blow up, yell, argue, get crazy then they are hiding something so RUN
Besides the grass being "different", I think it also just has to do with the fact that it's just 'more' grass... nothing is ever enough. And the reason it's not exhausting to have multiple partners is because they are empty inside..so the more the better. Normal people find it exhausting because we are full and content in a way they will never be. But thank you for your content. It's actually nice to be able to laugh about what can be an incredibly frustrating situation that can leave you in pieces. I'm truly blown away by how many people have been affected by this. Much love to you all ❤
This is scarily accurate for my situation 😳 WTF!? IDEAS FOR OTHER VIDEOS: 1. Explain 'splitting' 2. Why does the narc stay married if they are cheating all the time? (Wanna be sister wives? 🤔) 3. What's with multiple partners? Isn't that exhausting? 4. Pointing out traits in others that they find offensive, but they themselves possess. Don't they recognize it in themselves? 5. What makes them leave a person they've been love bombing for months to go back to their spouse once they see the spouse moving on and enjoying life? Where do all the tears come from? 6. How do they spend extravagantly on 'side pieces' than on their hard working spouse who actually deserves it? I'll probably think of more, but those are my top questions.
They have multiple partners so they never get " hurt". They need control and they can't ever be in a position of vulnerability. They need a lot of attention to distract from their empty shell. So yes to a normal person feels so exhausting to deal with so many partners etc but for them they can't see it any other way. If they don't have another on the side or many on the side they get very uncomfortable in a 1 on 1 relationship. Actually, feel sorry for them. It's not about sex or sex addiction etc it's really because they are WEAK. They go back to the spouse like how a child runs back to mommy. They don't love them, they just can't be abandoned from their security blanket. The best way a psychologist can put it is: they created an island of security and the waters around them are chaotic. So imagine the spouse is the constant/ the person they run to and the waters around the island are drama filled and chaotic. This is why men cheat and continue to cheat. They need this duplicitous dichotomized dynamic. They cannot just have one. One woman or one man is too scary that they will be turned on and abandoned. It's VERY pathetic. They spend extravagantly on the side piece usually because the side is requiring that and/ or it's a way to make them feel powerful. You don't spend on your wife because she is the island of security. There is no gamble. There is no rolling the dice. The sides and the others are not secure. They do things to keep people dependent on them and they do it to make sure they are always wanted and in need. The truth is they aren't shit.
@@yaras8638 they are emotionally unstable and generally have another personality disorder along with the narcissism so it's hard to say, but overall just know they are emotionally unstable / incapable of real empathy.
mine said, "theres always remarriage," while he was discarding me and alienating me from our sons" I echo what the other reader said, :let your yes be yes and your no be no and everything else comes from the devil" Matthew 5:37
Thank you thank you 30 years I thought I was crazy seeing patterns I came home from work and discovered I had been ghosted. But because of you I seen the signs months ago and began to pay attention and watch and he even went up to the night before making future plans yes people need to be made aware because for 30 years he had me gaslighted not saying it was all bad but who the hell wants to ride a roller coaster for 30 years this is day two without my NA. I already feel lighter and again thank you.
My ex did this... actually asked "what are you doing in 5 years?" After talking about using her to "get better". I didn't know what he was doing was (hoovering) because he was seeing the girl who he had a double life with for 3.5 years of our 6 year relationship. At that point he had to break up with me and chose one of us because of covid lockdown. All I have to say is DONT DO IT! I I have ptsd and it fuxking sucksssss 😩 he was really abusive. Downright sociopathic in the end.
I hear you. I have PTSD too and I warned him at the beginning that I am very broken, sensitive and vulnerable. I think that's like telling an alligator that you are super delicious. He steamrollered all over me in 1.5 years while we had a relationship by lies, drugs, abuse and cheating on me with multiple women 😖
@@purelove8972 I'm so sorry to hear 💞 I know one of the hardest things for me to learn was to first, forgive myself for staying, and putting up with his behavior towards me; my codependent part in our relationship. Then second, letting go of the story around who he was, who he and I were together, and the hardest... everything he did to me. And lastly, redefining myself beyond that relationship by loving myself and healing all the trauma that put me at the hands of such a deplorable person. I hope you can find that peace within you too 🙏🌠
@@MandySky thank you 🙏 may love heal you also Working on healing here. Just watched another of Lee's shorts on becoming a better person as a result of going through this, ahem, learning experience 😄 All I can do is try to become the best version of myself
Why do they say this. All while discarding you like yesterdays garbage. Like I want this bullshit later on down the road?!!! When you say no and their like “you’ll never find someone like me” Yeah thats the plan asshole!!!! BYE ✌🏾🖕🏾
I think some of them love the catch and release method too! There's the thrill of the chase. They don't really want you but they get a high off the chase itself. Then once they have you... you become boring and off to the next chase!! Then if you're released they hoover you back in just for the power and control. Its sick and sadistic how they play with people like prey.
Man, it can be difficult to say or get this out, but you are very damn on point with some things, you said you are Grateful, I AM Grateful. Congratulations on the strength &a courage to get through what you have & the contribution drive to consistently share what you do. Appreciation & Respect. 👊.
The moment I get a notification I instantly click on it. The moment the screen pops up I immediately hit the like button. When the video is over I'm frustrated that I can only hit it once. Of all the channels I am subscribed to yours is one of the few that I set up to have notifications from, fewer still because I feel safe to or compelled to comment, commiserate and offer support when I feel a connection or have learned a lesson similarly. After years of figuring how to navigate with a diagnosed NPD/PPD hubby (also actively in therapy), there's an ambassador/translator for everybody willing to listen. You're a real blessing. It's been wonderful to see your channel grow.🌷
Try Dr Les Carter, Dr Ramani Derversula “professor” Sam Vaknin. Sam Vaknin is diagnosed NPD. These are all professionals. This channel is great from a layman’s perspective
She wanted to discard me. First said I want some time on my own. Then tried to keep me friends. Then said don't contact I'll let you know if our marriage is possible. Then tried to reverse discard. And finally lied that she'd been engaged and discarded in the most viscous way possible. I wasn't shelved despite her efforts.
Its so scary how correct you are....my husband left me a note in his car s week ago saying "At least I didn't choose the path of least resistance "😳😳😳😳 when it surfaces I'm gonna take a pic to keep for myself
Great video. It actually answers so many unanswered questions.my narc discarded me when his long relationship ex popped back up. Me, having boundaries, is what finally made him flee, he hoovered later but I decided on a painful no contact and recovered …and now I’m realizing that his ex saved me!! 😅… aka the path of least resistance. Thank god and thank you!
Mine discarded me like a dog. Insult me told me how his new woman is so much better than me. Treated me so bad. I went and exposed our problems and he hates me for it. And his new supply is so in love with him for 2years and does everything he wants. I think they will be happy together though. But it hurts me a lot. How I was discarded and insulted
Exact same thing but he's engaged to her now. The woman he secretly moved in with after we broke up. And I knew. but just hit me up asking for ludes less than a month ago. Asking where I lived and if I was dating... strong 💪 👎 I just hate trying to figure out what bs he's planning 😒 and trying to involve me in.
Thank you Lee, I so appreciate your help. By giving your side from a narcissists perspective, it's awesome that you are here and care. It takes a great person to admit a disorder, then reach out to help others. God bless you! Thank you. Your sense of humor, delivery, and honesty keep your posts interesting. Shout out to Reidsville. My Dad grew up in Danville, VA.
My ex is hoovering me even though we kind of discarded each other. But he won’t let me be. He keeps trying to follow request me from multiple profiles. He just wants to keep tabs and keep me from moving on. Some other video ideas: 1. Why do narcissists exaggerate? If I’m gone for 5 mins he will swear I’ve been gone for 30. 2. Why do narcissists try to bring up your past when they have nothing to complain about or bring up in current times?
Mine wanted to still date after our divorce because according to him, he couldn't picture me with another man, those were his exact words. He hid his supply well. I respectfully declined. So he made my life a living hell to the point I had to go no contact. The sad thing is, the children are the one paying the price 😔
Cracking up over 'car cheeks.' You are absolutely hysterical, Lee. Ex-narc so trying to hoover me back in knowing that I know he has a new supply who he complains about. She can have him, I no longer want him. This path of least resistance is a path of fire that he will not get to. I wish him luck finding other new supply because he wants to put zero effort into anything when it comes to 'relationships.'
I was going to email you to ask you about this. It happened to me a few months ago, but when I told him he'd have to go to therapy and make a lot of changes if we were to have a shot at making things work... it turned real ugly real fast. Now it's like he blames me for him breaking up with me 🙃🙄 I truly do not understand.
They are unable to reflect and see their part/responsibility in what happens. They will not take responsibility for anything, everything will be your fault regardless.
Healing is understanding that they're hoping time makes you miss them and forget their evil. Change your perception. Look at it like you escaped, know that they WILL HOOVER eventually, and that God loves you because He/She separated you from this type of evil so his karma won't affect you!!!
He is stalking me for two years now on social media with all his fake ghost accounts. It’s insane how someone can be so toxic.. I left him first because I knew that something was off with him and his behavior.. and now he can’t deal with that and stalks me for two years on instagram. We never had an relationship.
My ex narc just unblocked my number yesterday. We only communicated via email for bills. Mmmmm. He said he can be mature and keep contact via phone. SMH. Wow. Just on time.
Can you do a video on out of caracter love bombing? In 6 years he never had done any of this: taken me out for dinner to a nice restaurant, bought me shoes, took me to get a hair cut, made different moves on bed. Soon after I found out he was cheating on me, my theory is that all of those new things where what the new supplies where asking for
He has been trying for over a year. He has a new FB account with a different take on his name. Not responding, ever..I would never be a friend with anyone who I can't trust.
Lol I saw on social media that she spent the night with him and he still texted me in the morning that he has a gift on the way and that it’s okay we aren’t talking anymore because I deserved better lol
She came to the shop i work for first time this year, she could have gone elsewhere, somebody else deals with her. Maybe this was a hoover? I thought it odd.
Lol, he picked a messy booty call, she caught feelings made herself known!@@ lololol, he pretended that he wasnt shocked! Lol, boom here we go!....I'm so much better now, no coming back from the messy side piece/coworker
🎉🎉🎉🎉 I hope for the best for the exmark that I used to go with in the future I'm just thinking about God myself and my little unit thank you lie for this advice yes I will stay away from a snark other night thank you so much again
After suffering a narcissist, how can you tell if someone is trying to love bomb you and mirror you, vs genuinely wanting to get to know you? Can you even tell on a first date ?
Here's the answer: real people take time to fall in love. Hence the word real. Real people don't love bomb. They will be able to tell u I am not there yet or allow things to naturally progress if or if not. Real people also match words to actions. Narcissists will be enamored by you. Real people don't get enamored so easily.
Hey Lee, my ex covert narc hided his new supply after triangulated me with her and she offered to marry him (Lucky me) then he moved to marry her (after being with me slightly over 10 years), of course he knew her during the time ( as friend/ colleague). He married her and hide the marriage but she made me sure to know ( I got him, I am like good luck babe). He was hoovering me for quite sometimes after and before the marriage till I have sent email to his (mammy, Daddy and sister) till them that I do not want him to contact me, then he send me crazy message claiming that I am disparage him .. anyway and he blocked and cut me off from all social media .. I assume this is the final discard ? he ended married lady lower status, bla bla .. she is vulnerable, I do not want to speak negative about her ? but I assume he is not going to hoover me knowing that I know about his marriage and I reported him to his family ? correct?
Nobody who needs to visit this channel is in a healthy relationship. You may need to become a spesialist om narcissism, but fort and foremost you need to leave and work on what matter, yourself. I know its not that easy, and yet it is
I have been through this cycle multiple times but after being discarded for at least 3 times over 2 years, I’ve had enough. Now he’s hoovering even though I know he has new supply. He tried hoovering a month ago after 9 months of no contact (him discarding me and me moving on). I blocked him on two social media accounts, now he’s hoovering from a third.. I want to reply so bad because now I have so much hate and resentment towards him. Is it ok to tell the narc to go to therapy? I just want to offend him 😩
Hi! I want to share what I find disturbing: the number of people realizing that was narcissism and narcissistic abuse AFTER a relationship ended. That means we are uneducated from the very beginning. And that's why we got there in the first place. What do you think, that somebody knows that game is going to sit down to play it?!? I don't think so.
Lee why is my narcissist following me when she sees me? Not only that but she's calling me from fake numbers and last night I caught her by my place watching my apartment
They don't always come back. It's ridiculous to think that they always do. They may be with someone they honestly think is better than you and that might even be true. I mean I'm sure at the end of it all we were all pretty much beat down and good for nothing anymore. I would leave too and find someone better. But I think the main reason why a lot of them don't is simply because they have smeared you so hard that it would make them look ridiculous to their friends and family if they brought you back in. That is the worst thing they could do to their image. My ex did find somebody who is extremely beautiful and a lot more fun to be with than me and that's okay. I think when we don't admit that we also contributed to the breakdown, our ego gets the best of us and in this situation that's not good. I'm not shaming anyone, I lived through this for 7 years. I just want to face the deep dark painful reasons why I stayed and why I let him come back. It's completely humiliating and soul destroying and it's isolating and lonely. But you honestly have to take a good hard look at yourself once it's over and face it. I know I didn't love my ex, I was just to ashamed to let people know, and I knew that most of my friends and family had moved on with their lives which left me feeling alone and isolated and wondering what happened. The one thing that kills me is that I wasted the most precious commodity I have. Time. No. He won't get a chance to hoover me. ❤️
Speak for yourself. I wouldn't leave me for "someone better" unless I believe I'm just as toxic. I don't! But I agree about the smear. So many have gone of the handle and smeared you so deeply its plain to see. They can't get back with you.
Hello. I have been discarded about 1 year ago and my ex narc (covert narcissist) completely ghosted and blocked me, even changed his number and went on with a new supply. I never got closure, just some last very ugly and hateful messages, and then I was like erased. About 6 month after all of this (and when I stopped trying ro reach out for month) I noticed beeing unblocked again on one area of social media. I unblocked him too but nothing happened since then. This is the situation since about 5 month - so what is this? I don't get it
I know you’ve discussed this before, but i don’t remember the answer. How and what pushed you to go to therapy? Can i do something to help my ex narc gf know that she’s ruining her own life? I’m an empath and i self-diagnosed her with npd tendencies. She cheated, lied, and broke up with me without closure and she gave me false hope as well. I still do not want her to ruin her life.
What if I tell someone they are narcissist- do they even know they are one? I want to tell my ex they are one of they ever Hoover again, but I feel like it won’t even help them. They have so much supply in denial.
It's typically suggested you don't reveal that to them. A) they don't care B) they could react in a very negative way. Screw this guy, keep no contact and keep him in the dark.
Why would they Hoover if they have a primary or secondary supply/partner ?…. What’s the point of hoovering if their happy with their primary ( new or old) ?
Bc the new supply might leave him,so he puts you on the back burner bc they know people will sometimes discard them,bc they know they're evil,and if the new supply catches on and leaves, they won't have anyone on the back burner.
@@Nobodyhome630 no. They don’t love anybody but themselves. They see people as objects owned by them. Just as you’d get bored of a toy they get bored of people and put them back in the toy box until they want to use them. The person they probably keep the longest is probably the biggest doormat they’ve had because that means they would tolerate a lot of abuse.
@@GangstalkingReality I see …. , thank you for taking the time and responding to me… it’s still a very painful experience but that does help clarify some things…
Oh my God this Looney tune narc of mine is now ripping my hallway decorations off the freaking wall and door, he has his door opening blasting his sad rap music that I know he likes to listen to. this is so cute he thinks it's going to work huh no thanks to you and your knowledge and the very many other people spreading wisdom, I ain't falling for this dumb s*** no more
Lee I have a question: what happens if they reverse Hoover and you don’t give in then what do they do? He hoovered I didn’t respond now he is completely quiet 🤐 no Hoover anymore so I guess This is the reverse Hoover I’m not giving in ! Now what happens?????
Do you think it's possible for the narc I was dealing with to hoover even though she screwed a friend of mine and thrown it in my face? She also told my a was her biggest mistake which was devastating to hear from one that you love more than life itself and lastly I need to tell that she changed her phone number I know she has a new supply and it looks like she's on top of the world and I haven't heard anything in about 2 months so I don't know what to expect 😔
My narc ex did this when he discarded and blocked me! No explanation no closure! contacted me 5 months later apologizing started love bombing me. Then I remembered how low I felt all them months. told him its over I’m done and that he should move on with his life as I have moved on with mine just as he got angry I put the phone down and changed my number the next day sometimes you don’t get the answers to the why? but one thing I know for sure is that he’s dead to me and I don’t want him back so it’s his loss. I won’t allow anyone to disrespect me again!
Great commentary about committing, Lee! Because even saying no is a commitment. I’ve been reading He’s Scared, She’s Scared which talks about commitment phobic people. A lot of the stuff they do overlap with NPD. Was really good insight for me and might be for everyone!
They always Hoover once they thought about you or if the new supply isnt giving them enough . They’ll also Hoover to make sure that you’re under control .
yep!
Yep, can't get too far out of reach .
He always comes around when he's got a new woman in his life and I don't find out about it for a while… no more
@@stormiesky7024 yes. It’s like they like to know they have a few .
"I'll respect your wishes and leave you be... For now."
I consider myself fortunate with the fact that I haven't heard a word from him since the relationship ended. Then again I made it clear that I have a loaded 9mm. I'm finally gaining back by self confidence, my voice and pieces of my sanity that I felt like I lost dealing with an extremely narcissistic boyfriend.
😂🔫 Yes it's torture. Well wishes 🤗
@@pazyamor1313 Thank you.😊
How long has it been?
@@Ji_jee Roughly 5 months.
@@donna6368 he'll be back. Mine called after 11 months... 12 times til I started worrying if he was ok and stupidly responded. A short few days of intense communication followed by another discard when he didn't like the truth ( which I was relieved about) then tonight again two months later. this has been going on for five years. I got a new number recently thankfully but still have the old for work stuff. So annoyed that I don't even have it on most of the time but tonight needed a code that was text to me and bam ... Missed hoover call. Now I'm here being annoyed. 9mm illegal here!!! 😡😡😡😡
Proof: ask to look through their cell phone.
If they give it to you without a fight, they have nothing to hide. If they blow up, yell, argue, get crazy then they are hiding something so RUN
💯💯💯💯💯
Besides the grass being "different", I think it also just has to do with the fact that it's just 'more' grass... nothing is ever enough. And the reason it's not exhausting to have multiple partners is because they are empty inside..so the more the better. Normal people find it exhausting because we are full and content in a way they will never be. But thank you for your content. It's actually nice to be able to laugh about what can be an incredibly frustrating situation that can leave you in pieces. I'm truly blown away by how many people have been affected by this. Much love to you all ❤
I really needed to read this today. Thank you!
I swear I have experienced every one of the scenarios you describe in your videos.
🥺
Me too
This is scarily accurate for my situation 😳 WTF!?
IDEAS FOR OTHER VIDEOS:
1. Explain 'splitting'
2. Why does the narc stay married if they are cheating all the time? (Wanna be sister wives? 🤔)
3. What's with multiple partners? Isn't that exhausting?
4. Pointing out traits in others that they find offensive, but they themselves possess. Don't they recognize it in themselves?
5. What makes them leave a person they've been love bombing for months to go back to their spouse once they see the spouse moving on and enjoying life? Where do all the tears come from?
6. How do they spend extravagantly on 'side pieces' than on their hard working spouse who actually deserves it?
I'll probably think of more, but those are my top questions.
Here for some answers too 👀
They have multiple partners so they never get " hurt". They need control and they can't ever be in a position of vulnerability. They need a lot of attention to distract from their empty shell. So yes to a normal person feels so exhausting to deal with so many partners etc but for them they can't see it any other way. If they don't have another on the side or many on the side they get very uncomfortable in a 1 on 1 relationship. Actually, feel sorry for them. It's not about sex or sex addiction etc it's really because they are WEAK. They go back to the spouse like how a child runs back to mommy. They don't love them, they just can't be abandoned from their security blanket. The best way a psychologist can put it is: they created an island of security and the waters around them are chaotic. So imagine the spouse is the constant/ the person they run to and the waters around the island are drama filled and chaotic. This is why men cheat and continue to cheat. They need this duplicitous dichotomized dynamic. They cannot just have one. One woman or one man is too scary that they will be turned on and abandoned. It's VERY pathetic. They spend extravagantly on the side piece usually because the side is requiring that and/ or it's a way to make them feel powerful. You don't spend on your wife because she is the island of security. There is no gamble. There is no rolling the dice. The sides and the others are not secure. They do things to keep people dependent on them and they do it to make sure they are always wanted and in need. The truth is they aren't shit.
Yes! Where do all the tears come from?
@@yaras8638 they are emotionally unstable and generally have another personality disorder along with the narcissism so it's hard to say, but overall just know they are emotionally unstable / incapable of real empathy.
Yes, he has tried this many times. Stay strong and keep no contact! ❤
Absolutely!!
It wasn't a dust chunk that got caught in the vacuum cleaner... it was an empath. 🤣😂
Yes😂
I felt that
I left after he made it clear i was getting nowhere and was told "I didn't want you completely out of my life, I just needed to get my head straight."
😳
"I just need space. You're a great guy. But I need to focus on my kids." 😂
I have always said that the gras ain't greener on the other side. But greenest where you are, and tend it. With lots of water, and caring 🥰
Great point!
mine said, "theres always remarriage," while he was discarding me and alienating me from our sons" I echo what the other reader said, :let your yes be yes and your no be no and everything else comes from the devil" Matthew 5:37
I heard similar, told me go be with someone else, then why does he Hoover me? Oh yeah! A narcissist 🤣🤣 leave me alone!
Thank you thank you 30 years I thought I was crazy seeing patterns I came home from work and discovered I had been ghosted. But because of you I seen the signs months ago and began to pay attention and watch and he even went up to the night before making future plans yes people need to be made aware because for 30 years he had me gaslighted not saying it was all bad but who the hell wants to ride a roller coaster for 30 years this is day two without my NA. I already feel lighter and again thank you.
Stay strong!! Welcome back to peace ♥️
My ex did this... actually asked "what are you doing in 5 years?" After talking about using her to "get better". I didn't know what he was doing was (hoovering) because he was seeing the girl who he had a double life with for 3.5 years of our 6 year relationship. At that point he had to break up with me and chose one of us because of covid lockdown.
All I have to say is DONT DO IT! I I have ptsd and it fuxking sucksssss 😩 he was really abusive. Downright sociopathic in the end.
I hear you. I have PTSD too and I warned him at the beginning that I am very broken, sensitive and vulnerable. I think that's like telling an alligator that you are super delicious. He steamrollered all over me in 1.5 years while we had a relationship by lies, drugs, abuse and cheating on me with multiple women 😖
@@purelove8972 I'm so sorry to hear 💞 I know one of the hardest things for me to learn was to first, forgive myself for staying, and putting up with his behavior towards me; my codependent part in our relationship. Then second, letting go of the story around who he was, who he and I were together, and the hardest... everything he did to me. And lastly, redefining myself beyond that relationship by loving myself and healing all the trauma that put me at the hands of such a deplorable person.
I hope you can find that peace within you too 🙏🌠
@@MandySky thank you 🙏 may love heal you also
Working on healing here. Just watched another of Lee's shorts on becoming a better person as a result of going through this, ahem, learning experience 😄
All I can do is try to become the best version of myself
"Maybe down the road we can be together..."
Why do they say this. All while discarding you like yesterdays garbage. Like I want this bullshit later on down the road?!!! When you say no and their like “you’ll never find someone like me”
Yeah thats the plan asshole!!!!
BYE ✌🏾🖕🏾
@@mrspendergraft1 Lol that's a good response and mentality to have.
But it's simply just to keep you around, confused and try and blame yourself.
Maybe down the road they can get run over
They want to enjoy their new supply while time passes, hoping that you will forget the evil that they have done to you.
💯
I think some of them love the catch and release method too! There's the thrill of the chase. They don't really want you but they get a high off the chase itself. Then once they have you... you become boring and off to the next chase!! Then if you're released they hoover you back in just for the power and control. Its sick and sadistic how they play with people like prey.
Man, it can be difficult to say or get this out, but you are very damn on point with some things, you said you are Grateful, I AM Grateful. Congratulations on the strength &a courage to get through what you have & the contribution drive to consistently share what you do. Appreciation & Respect. 👊.
Thank you. i appreciate it
The moment I get a notification I instantly click on it. The moment the screen pops up I immediately hit the like button. When the video is over I'm frustrated that I can only hit it once. Of all the channels I am subscribed to yours is one of the few that I set up to have notifications from, fewer still because I feel safe to or compelled to comment, commiserate and offer support when I feel a connection or have learned a lesson similarly. After years of figuring how to navigate with a diagnosed NPD/PPD hubby (also actively in therapy), there's an ambassador/translator for everybody willing to listen. You're a real blessing. It's been wonderful to see your channel grow.🌷
Try Dr Les Carter, Dr Ramani Derversula “professor” Sam Vaknin. Sam Vaknin is diagnosed NPD. These are all professionals. This channel is great from a layman’s perspective
@@GUCC1197 I adore Dr. Ramani's channel, too. Thanks for the others. I'll check them out.
She wanted to discard me. First said I want some time on my own. Then tried to keep me friends. Then said don't contact I'll let you know if our marriage is possible. Then tried to reverse discard. And finally lied that she'd been engaged and discarded in the most viscous way possible. I wasn't shelved despite her efforts.
Its so scary how correct you are....my husband left me a note in his car s week ago saying "At least I didn't choose the path of least resistance "😳😳😳😳 when it surfaces I'm gonna take a pic to keep for myself
It's pretty valuable hearing some of this from someone with NPD
Great video. It actually answers so many unanswered questions.my narc discarded me when his long relationship ex popped back up. Me, having boundaries, is what finally made him flee, he hoovered later but I decided on a painful no contact and recovered …and now I’m realizing that his ex saved me!! 😅… aka the path of least resistance. Thank god and thank you!
Mine discarded me like a dog. Insult me told me how his new woman is so much better than me. Treated me so bad. I went and exposed our problems and he hates me for it. And his new supply is so in love with him for 2years and does everything he wants. I think they will be happy together though. But it hurts me a lot. How I was discarded and insulted
She has to live with it now and she has to stand on it as well when it goes south
My situation is very similar. The new female is everything he ever wanted, she worships him. They’ll probably be together for the rest of their lives.
Exact same thing but he's engaged to her now. The woman he secretly moved in with after we broke up. And I knew.
but just hit me up asking for ludes less than a month ago. Asking where I lived and if I was dating... strong 💪 👎
I just hate trying to figure out what bs he's planning 😒 and trying to involve me in.
My experience with a Narcissist was so Horrible.
If I try to explain
Tyler Perry will call me to do a movie.
Thank you, very much appreciate your videos. Always dead on!!!!
you're welcome
Thank you Lee, I so appreciate your help. By giving your side from a narcissists perspective, it's awesome that you are here and care. It takes a great person to admit a disorder, then reach out to help others. God bless you! Thank you. Your sense of humor, delivery, and honesty keep your posts interesting. Shout out to Reidsville. My Dad grew up in Danville, VA.
Excellent explanation of Path of Least Resistance.👏👏
My ex is hoovering me even though we kind of discarded each other. But he won’t let me be. He keeps trying to follow request me from multiple profiles. He just wants to keep tabs and keep me from moving on.
Some other video ideas:
1. Why do narcissists exaggerate? If I’m gone for 5 mins he will swear I’ve been gone for 30.
2. Why do narcissists try to bring up your past when they have nothing to complain about or bring up in current times?
Oh gosh the exaggeration is real!❤
You are the only narcissist I have respect for, because you are helping all of us out here and I appreciate it for what you do.
Thank you so much.
You explained it all bro.
Mine wanted to still date after our divorce because according to him, he couldn't picture me with another man, those were his exact words. He hid his supply well. I respectfully declined. So he made my life a living hell to the point I had to go no contact. The sad thing is, the children are the one paying the price 😔
Cracking up over 'car cheeks.' You are absolutely hysterical, Lee. Ex-narc so trying to hoover me back in knowing that I know he has a new supply who he complains about. She can have him, I no longer want him. This path of least resistance is a path of fire that he will not get to. I wish him luck finding other new supply because he wants to put zero effort into anything when it comes to 'relationships.'
Thank you so much. This has helped me in so many ways
omg ur humor helps soooooo much to heal after this horror !
my narc broke up with me out of no where and then told me to wait for him... he is now blocked lol
Thank you for providing me with a daily sense of laughter Lee 😂
I was going to email you to ask you about this. It happened to me a few months ago, but when I told him he'd have to go to therapy and make a lot of changes if we were to have a shot at making things work... it turned real ugly real fast. Now it's like he blames me for him breaking up with me 🙃🙄 I truly do not understand.
They are unable to reflect and see their part/responsibility in what happens. They will not take responsibility for anything, everything will be your fault regardless.
Similar for me, however my narc blocked me on all medium. Dont delve into the why. it will screw your head up
Same happened to me
Healing is understanding that they're hoping time makes you miss them and forget their evil. Change your perception. Look at it like you escaped, know that they WILL HOOVER eventually, and that God loves you because He/She separated you from this type of evil so his karma won't affect you!!!
Been on the hook.... .every thing Lee saying is truth !!!!!!
He won't let me go I don't know hie to cut the cord
And yes wants me alone
After years and years I stopped it right before I jumped back in
🙌🏾
He dumped me then had the audacity to text me every morning to “check on me”.
I envy ur ability to be that straight up. Wish I could.
“The path of least resistance” is a huge theme! Sheesh
Thank you, appreciate your video as always. On point with your info!!!!
I appreciate that!
What a brave man
♥️
😯 I just blocked him yesterday!! 😱
Mine discarded me and just hoovered me while this video was playing sooo crazy.
Been there and ugh!!!its crazy!!!
Even down to the “good in that department “
she gon txt me and say happy easter, WHO TXT AN EX HAPPY EASTER LOL some sick ppl. and she left me! 😂
He is stalking me for two years now on social media with all his fake ghost accounts. It’s insane how someone can be so toxic.. I left him first because I knew that something was off with him and his behavior.. and now he can’t deal with that and stalks me for two years on instagram. We never had an relationship.
It's definitely a huge problem.
11 months NC. No hoover yet and I'm not expecting one.
A hoover is a 1:37 am Hey, text.. from my ex-husband that lives with his new supply. Smh..
We dont care about your mic, Lee! 😂 lol. Thanks for the video!
My ex narc just unblocked my number yesterday. We only communicated via email for bills. Mmmmm. He said he can be mature and keep contact via phone. SMH. Wow. Just on time.
Can you do a video on out of caracter love bombing? In 6 years he never had done any of this: taken me out for dinner to a nice restaurant, bought me shoes, took me to get a hair cut, made different moves on bed. Soon after I found out he was cheating on me, my theory is that all of those new things where what the new supplies where asking for
or even an internet new supply!
Exactly why that ass got BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING!🙅🏾♀️
OMG. Are you sure it's not a demon? The behavior is so repulsive.
Are narcissists the seed of Cain? 😆
So evil.
I know😂
He has been trying for over a year. He has a new FB account with a different take on his name. Not responding, ever..I would never be a friend with anyone who I can't trust.
!!!!!!
Oh no that’s what’s called,He is doing this.
7:59 They lie regardless of new or old supply in my experience. They are pathological liars lol.
Man, I wish I knew this 40 years ago!
Mine attempted to but I shut down those trivial conversations quickly
Lol I saw on social media that she spent the night with him and he still texted me in the morning that he has a gift on the way and that it’s okay we aren’t talking anymore because I deserved better lol
She came to the shop i work for first time this year, she could have gone elsewhere, somebody else deals with her. Maybe this was a hoover? I thought it odd.
sounds like it could be
@@MentalHealness 😱
Lol, he picked a messy booty call, she caught feelings made herself known!@@ lololol, he pretended that he wasnt shocked! Lol, boom here we go!....I'm so much better now, no coming back from the messy side piece/coworker
I had a narc dump me one night. Had me in tears, only to call me the very next day & ask me out to dinner!
Just heard from mine last night again 😂
🎉🎉🎉🎉 I hope for the best for the exmark that I used to go with in the future I'm just thinking about God myself and my little unit thank you lie for this advice yes I will stay away from a snark other night thank you so much again
After suffering a narcissist, how can you tell if someone is trying to love bomb you and mirror you, vs genuinely wanting to get to know you? Can you even tell on a first date ?
No. But you can set boundaries. Take it slow.
Here's the answer: real people take time to fall in love. Hence the word real. Real people don't love bomb. They will be able to tell u I am not there yet or allow things to naturally progress if or if not. Real people also match words to actions. Narcissists will be enamored by you. Real people don't get enamored so easily.
Definitely take it slow
Hey Lee, my ex covert narc hided his new supply after triangulated me with her and she offered to marry him (Lucky me) then he moved to marry her (after being with me slightly over 10 years), of course he knew her during the time ( as friend/ colleague). He married her and hide the marriage but she made me sure to know ( I got him, I am like good luck babe). He was hoovering me for quite sometimes after and before the marriage till I have sent email to his (mammy, Daddy and sister) till them that I do not want him to contact me, then he send me crazy message claiming that I am disparage him .. anyway and he blocked and cut me off from all social media .. I assume this is the final discard ? he ended married lady lower status, bla bla .. she is vulnerable, I do not want to speak negative about her ? but I assume he is not going to hoover me knowing that I know about his marriage and I reported him to his family ? correct?
Nobody who needs to visit this channel is in a healthy relationship. You may need to become a spesialist om narcissism, but fort and foremost you need to leave and work on what matter, yourself. I know its not that easy, and yet it is
Greetings from Catalunya!!❤️
♥️
I have been through this cycle multiple times but after being discarded for at least 3 times over 2 years, I’ve had enough. Now he’s hoovering even though I know he has new supply. He tried hoovering a month ago after 9 months of no contact (him discarding me and me moving on). I blocked him on two social media accounts, now he’s hoovering from a third..
I want to reply so bad because now I have so much hate and resentment towards him. Is it ok to tell the narc to go to therapy? I just want to offend him 😩
They don’t Hoover when the new supply is the child you had together!
Hi! I want to share what I find disturbing: the number of people realizing that was narcissism and narcissistic abuse AFTER a relationship ended. That means we are uneducated from the very beginning. And that's why we got there in the first place. What do you think, that somebody knows that game is going to sit down to play it?!? I don't think so.
Lee, do you get angry at your narcissism?
Lee why is my narcissist following me when she sees me? Not only that but she's calling me from fake numbers and last night I caught her by my place watching my apartment
that sounds scary!
They don't always come back. It's ridiculous to think that they always do. They may be with someone they honestly think is better than you and that might even be true. I mean I'm sure at the end of it all we were all pretty much beat down and good for nothing anymore. I would leave too and find someone better. But I think the main reason why a lot of them don't is simply because they have smeared you so hard that it would make them look ridiculous to their friends and family if they brought you back in. That is the worst thing they could do to their image. My ex did find somebody who is extremely beautiful and a lot more fun to be with than me and that's okay. I think when we don't admit that we also contributed to the breakdown, our ego gets the best of us and in this situation that's not good. I'm not shaming anyone, I lived through this for 7 years. I just want to face the deep dark painful reasons why I stayed and why I let him come back. It's completely humiliating and soul destroying and it's isolating and lonely. But you honestly have to take a good hard look at yourself once it's over and face it. I know I didn't love my ex, I was just to ashamed to let people know, and I knew that most of my friends and family had moved on with their lives which left me feeling alone and isolated and wondering what happened. The one thing that kills me is that I wasted the most precious commodity I have. Time. No. He won't get a chance to hoover me. ❤️
Speak for yourself. I wouldn't leave me for "someone better" unless I believe I'm just as toxic. I don't! But I agree about the smear. So many have gone of the handle and smeared you so deeply its plain to see. They can't get back with you.
i date selse u dont hahahaha exactly 😂
Well lucky for me I proved it that their was another one a ex coworker of mi e who admitted it to me
💯💯
What happens when they find out you have some one else? (especially when you have a kid together)
I’m automatic with the block button she has a child has new supply’s and when ever I see the I’m sorry dm’s etc I just hit the block button 💪🏾
Whoa..FACTS!!😄
😳😳
Thank you
Hello. I have been discarded about 1 year ago and my ex narc (covert narcissist) completely ghosted and blocked me, even changed his number and went on with a new supply. I never got closure, just some last very ugly and hateful messages, and then I was like erased. About 6 month after all of this (and when I stopped trying ro reach out for month) I noticed beeing unblocked again on one area of social media. I unblocked him too but nothing happened since then. This is the situation since about 5 month - so what is this? I don't get it
I know you’ve discussed this before, but i don’t remember the answer. How and what pushed you to go to therapy? Can i do something to help my ex narc gf know that she’s ruining her own life? I’m an empath and i self-diagnosed her with npd tendencies. She cheated, lied, and broke up with me without closure and she gave me false hope as well. I still do not want her to ruin her life.
Lmao 🤣 you sho right!
What if I tell someone they are narcissist- do they even know they are one? I want to tell my ex they are one of they ever Hoover again, but I feel like it won’t even help them. They have so much supply in denial.
It's typically suggested you don't reveal that to them.
A) they don't care
B) they could react in a very negative way.
Screw this guy, keep no contact and keep him in the dark.
Why would they Hoover if they have a primary or secondary supply/partner ?…. What’s the point of hoovering if their happy with their primary ( new or old) ?
Bc the new supply might leave him,so he puts you on the back burner bc they know people will sometimes discard them,bc they know they're evil,and if the new supply catches on and leaves, they won't have anyone on the back burner.
@@reinapatricia6717
So in truth. they love and are happy with the primary and just use the secondary?
@@Nobodyhome630 no. They don’t love anybody but themselves. They see people as objects owned by them. Just as you’d get bored of a toy they get bored of people and put them back in the toy box until they want to use them. The person they probably keep the longest is probably the biggest doormat they’ve had because that means they would tolerate a lot of abuse.
@@GangstalkingReality
I see …. , thank you for taking the time and responding to me… it’s still a very painful experience but that does help clarify some things…
They wont ever be truely happy with anyone. Doesnt matter how amazing the person is, a narc is never satisfied
Oh my God this Looney tune narc of mine is now ripping my hallway decorations off the freaking wall and door, he has his door opening blasting his sad rap music that I know he likes to listen to.
this is so cute he thinks it's going to work huh no thanks to you and your knowledge and the very many other people spreading wisdom, I ain't falling for this dumb s*** no more
Ffs it's never ending.
Lee I have a question: what happens if they reverse Hoover and you don’t give in then what do they do? He hoovered I didn’t respond now he is completely quiet 🤐 no Hoover anymore so I guess This is the reverse Hoover I’m not giving in ! Now what happens?????
My favorite narcissist is Sam Vaknin🥺
Do you think it's possible for the narc I was dealing with to hoover even though she screwed a friend of mine and thrown it in my face? She also told my a was her biggest mistake which was devastating to hear from one that you love more than life itself and lastly I need to tell that she changed her phone number I know she has a new supply and it looks like she's on top of the world and I haven't heard anything in about 2 months so I don't know what to expect 😔
My ex narc l was married to.....after a year apart and her being 6 months pregnant and asked me to be "friends with benefits"...😆😆😆
Atm I feel like I don't know where I stand with him I don't know if we have broken up or still together it's been 10 days we haven't talken
My narc ex did this when he discarded and blocked me! No explanation no closure! contacted me 5 months later apologizing started love bombing me. Then I remembered how low I felt all them months. told him its over I’m done and that he should move on with his life as I have moved on with mine just as he got angry I put the phone down and changed my number the next day sometimes you don’t get the answers to the why? but one thing I know for sure is that he’s dead to me and I don’t want him back so it’s his loss. I won’t allow anyone to disrespect me again!
@@MRLX54 I have two kids to him to which it will make it hard to go no contact if he contact me
Great commentary about committing, Lee! Because even saying no is a commitment. I’ve been reading He’s Scared, She’s Scared which talks about commitment phobic people. A lot of the stuff they do overlap with NPD. Was really good insight for me and might be for everyone!