Hey Steve: Is It Time for an Ultimatum? || STEVE HARVEY
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- She’s been in a relationship for four years and says she’s too old to not know where it’s going. Steve laid out the truth for her.
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If any of y'all catch me at 60 years old waking up at 4:00AM to cook for some man, you have my permission to slap me!
Best comment ever. The poor lady said 4:00am😂😂😂😂
🎯
Moriah Green You ain’t never lied !! 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
A grown man can’t wake his own butt up at 4:30 a.m. and at the least pour himself a bowl of cereal? PUH LEEZE!!!!! 🙄
everytime steve brings up a woman’s worth my self confidence goes up more nd more. i truly love this man.
@tou tou
Good for you.
It really does! Makes you feel good about yourself for sure! 🤗
But you know he’s just faking to make ladies happy.In reality men don’t care about you.truth is bitter but it’s the reality.
@@achinthyabangera1161 maybe men just don’t care about u honey
Same he’s great. Still can’t help but laugh when I see him from when he messed up that pageant calling the wrong winner though 😂
The worst excuse.. he is not ready.. when will he be ready?? When he is 95??
😂😂😂
@WhatMichelleLikes101 😆😆😆
@@sthabilesithole3405 😆😆😆
Beautiful Beloved Right!!!! 🤣🤣🤣lmao
@Beautiful Beloved
He will never be ready to marry this woman. Susan (I believe is her name) has two choices: To continue living with him like this or move on. I bet she will do the first and continue to be unhappy and resentful in the process for many years to come. Unfortunately that is the reality with many (but not all) women nowadays.
At 27 or 57, if you tell a man you wanna get married, and he presents the alternative for you to play house instead, don't be upset that you chose to play house and aren't married. You lowered your own standards by giving him free milk and now asking him to pay for it. Uncle Steve says this all the time. That advise wasn't just for young folk. The game is the same at any age. Don't sell yourself short, ladies. You ask for a ring, he presents a house instead, tell him that's not what you said you wanted. Getting a ring first should come with a home in a timely manner. Getting a house first doesn't always guarantee you a ring in a timely manner, if at all.
He didn't even buy her a house at all, he asked her to buy a house w/him. Lol, she needs to wake the hell up.
Exactly! Preach!! I will never live nor sleep with a man unless he is my husband! Period.
I'll give her better advice than Harvey did. "Never demand anything from someone you aren't willing to back up". Meaning, don't demand a man marries you and you do nothing if he doesnt. Then you actually look worse and can lose respect.
She did nothing? She put her life on hold for 5 years, at an age when people don't have 5 years to spare, so he can figure out what decent people figure out in months.
Agreed people can sense when it’s bs
Sound advice
When you say "back it up" you mean, be willing to walk away right?
@@bluebellcrushedvelvet yes, that is correct. You have to be willing to walk away. Believe me, if I were to ever give someone an ultimatum, I've already thought long and hard about it. And I wouldn't say it unless I'm prepared mentally to do what I need to do what I think is best for me.
@@localone1597 wow!! Thank you Jonathan (you got the same name as my brother) for answering after 3 years of your og comment!
Yes I completely agree with you! About all of it. I'm thinking currently about the same thing. But people put a stigma on you if you give the ultimatum! Calling it childish or manipulative or something. Ot just not the mature way to handle it. So I don't know.
Steve is so wise. RESPECT.
I love Steve's passion when it comes to women understanding their value....
Uhm Steve you can't pressure a man to get married. But who on earth buys a house together before theya are married
Sarah
She did...
Actually alot of people do
People know a days girl. Ridiculous
Sarah I got the house.... but he says I'm not worthy to be his wife after almost 20 years
She's trying to put everything on him.
Never buy a house with someone unless you know they are serious
PRINCESS INGRID unless they’re married🤣
Never buy a house unless you're married
Thank you Steve...this was hard to hear, made me really sad..but was needed!
Steve is talking right here!!
THANK YOU STEVE!
she should not agreed to buy a house with him
This is one of his best!
I was thinking exactly with what Steve said
I would never understand why some men run from marriage?? Bro, you're already living with her and she taking care of you like she's your wife. Do things God's way!! Before meeting a woman, make sure you even have a plan for the woman and your own future. And let her know where you heading!! But Steve should not feed woman ego too much though
ieoffor Men run from marriage because divorce is expensive. A lot of men lose almost everything. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to get married nowadays.
@@zariaeda007 Why do you automatically assume divorce? That mindset is what sets you up for failure. Go into marriage willing to love, be selfless and make it work.
ieoffor It's a reality. I know of only 2 couples in my personal life that haven't had a divorce. That's out of everyone I have ever known. Friends, family, parents friends, etc. Those are pretty crappy odds. I also used to work at a bank. I have seen plenty of people who didn't think they'd be in that situation. Everyone who gets married plans on being married for life but that obviously doesn't always happen.
57 & still clueless? Dam.
The reason why many men don't want to get married these days is because the liability of divorce outweighs the benefits of marriage
Lmao...I'm sure you mean (broke/ broken/mediocre) men, right?
@@joyjoy449 lmao no what I actually mean is that the reason why men don't want to get married is because the liability of divorce outweighs the benefits of marriage
@@mufasa2783 Haha! Just admit it is the broke, broken or mediocre men who are against marriage nowadays. Living in fear of losing their pennies because they don't have enough or could never bounce back if anything ever happened (retrenchment/disability/divorce/recession/natural disaster). Any other man who doesn't have a poverty mindset or is well equipped to handle any challenge coming his way, would survive just fine and get back up. Plenty of well to do men who've been divorced and remarried w/ no issues.
😂😂😂 girl he ain’t marrying you.. you the maid smh
Finding.a woman to take care of the house and do the wife duties is rare in North America! I would have married her a long time ago!!
Who the hell buys a house with a man without being married? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! First, marriage, then house, then kids, ect. This woman is too old not to know better. I'm a kid compare to her and I know that. As a matter of fact I'm celibate and for me, there will be no sex before marriage. Women need to go back to how things were 100 years ago and stop having sex, shacking up with a man, and playing wife without being married. You are just allowing a man to use you, wear you out, waste your youth and in the end you have nothing to show for it except a broken heart!!!!
I’m with you on this…
Not anymore. Men just are not buying marriage now days. Their abandoning it in droves.
Deep Verma -Dont tell my fiancé that.
Deep Verma no they're not
Why would they if women keep shacking up.
I don't know any men who follow Steve's relationship rules. There's nothing wrong with dating, not everyone wants to get married. Steve said he cannot live without Marjorie, I bet he said that about his 1st and 2nd wife at one time.
@X x - Lol 😀
Omg how do people buy a house with a boyfriend she knew less than 4 years who can’t commit
He’s 54 & still not ready? 🤔
They r out there mine will be 54 in April & he is this same type guy.... 😏
I'm 53 and it ain't happening!
See what I mean^^^^
Bobbie Hernandez
Men don't benefit from marriage. Only women do. Its easy to want to get married when there's very little risk for yourself. Not only that she wants to get married for the wrong reason. She's too insecure. She only wants to get married cause she cares what people have to think saying he's her boyfriend. That shouldn't be the reason you want to get married.
The man using her as his maid cook mother etc.. she’s doing all this work to get nothing 😂. He’s going to leave her for a younger women once he’s gotten all he could get from her.
Why do women want to marry to feel they are loved?.....I will never understand this way of thinking.
You gave him free rein and you put aside yourself worth and you put him first and that's not right you need to put yourself first and then y'all meet in the Midland work together you don't need him you better than that and he doesn't deserve you.
Steve Harvey- you’re amazing!!!!!!!!!! I love you man and I love the way you love your wife- precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
57? She likes 64
He can find lots of women like her but he will have to pay a company that provides those services.😂. With his attitude he's probably not the most intimate companion.
I'm sorry but she's old enough to know better.
why get married in your 50s? it's not like you are going to have kids...............why complicate things?
The man is 54. He is 2 young for her. He can easily marry a 35/42 year old one.
What does he want. There is two of the uncle steve. If he is not in it legitimately then its false, he is still with her, meaning he does love her, when he is ready he will marry her, now it easier for him coz he now knows atleast that she is ready to be married.
And how many times Steve got married
Wife at girlfriend prices
Another! No! Beard!
I don't know how u fall for that shtick at 57 yrs old. She's way too old to be falling for such childish games. The dude she's with obviously ain't sh*t and thinks he's still in his 20s taking her for a ride. And everyone should never better than to get a house with someone ur just 'dating'. Forget the ultimatum. Drop him NOW girl, he don't even wanna marry you.
Yall think she gone leave?
She shouldn’t have moved in with him without a ring . Now she’s doing wife duties without a title of a wife and he’s like .. why even bother being married if I have this already ? Smh
Yup and believe you me, he will go marry a younger woman and put her and her ultimatum out
Nacia Jackson ~ Her first BIG mistake was to buy a house "with him" and they aren't married. That makes me wonder, "Is his name on the title and loan, too?" If not, she has sole responsibility to pay for it if/when he leaves.
Mrembo Mweusi exactly!
Gary * soo true !
which sane man want to get married in these times?
I'm not buying a house with a BOYfriend (2 each its own )...
Msjawanda neither am I. Too old to be playing Barbie
💯
Chaff LS
ikr... 👍
Girl. 👏🏿
Apparently Sue, missed class on that day. She is way too mature to have done something so detrimental to her tomorrow and forever. 🤷🏿♂️ Sucks to suck lady
The mistake she did was buy that house!
Chaff LS exactly. I said “ohhhhh lawd,” when she mentioned the house. Then she cooks, cleans and does his laundry on top of that. Bless her heart.
And move in at least she would have been an investor in the house and live in her own place till he puts a ring on it
Yup! Marriage before a Mortgage
I don't understand playing house or acting like a wife before you are one. I don't understand investing your future income with someone you not married to. I really don't understand making any man a priority that has made you an option.
Indeed. That's what I said, plus the guy is younger than her. He figures she's desperate and has no options.
Was divorced with a daughter and he was also a single dad..told him from day one that am not in 4 games we got married after a year of dating..seven years later we have three more kids and just bought a house..
What happens if you get divorce again? He'll be the one that gets screwed. That's the exact reason men shy away from marriage. Benefit is for women not the man.
What do you mean what if she gets divorced again? She just said she has 3 kids and a house with her husband for the past 7 years? I could have sworn she wrote that in English. And he had a child previously as well. Men live longer when married. Who’s benefiting from that?
Allen, you’re right but not entirely right. Today there are prenups. Depending on which State you live in (if you are in the US), a woman doesn’t get the house unless the man screwed up big time! Most women will tolerate a lot to avoid divorce while most men take the piss then play victim later. Just choose wisely.
This is so painfully sad, she has no clue she's special. He probably cares about her but he doesn't want to be tied to her legally. She thinks acting like a wife will convince him, men know early in the relationship if they want to marry you.
She's afraid of the consequence's of putting her foot down & giving the ultimatum and following it through. Poor her.
That’s exactly her problem and women who do that might just be blocking themselves from a real good blessing! Plenty of men out there who would marry her because they want to, not because only she wants or demands it. If I have to demand or even hint to a grown man to do the right thing, that’s a dealbreaker.
@@aksmownetharan and you don’t get on a plane that you are fully aware of signs that the parachutes are no good. You’d not need to even think about failure if you simply didn’t board the plane in the first place. Some men (and women) seem attracted to bad parachutes ;)
She's right to do so, he'll 100% gonna dump her
Don’t beat this lady up, she is a woman who relaxed her standards as time went on.
Shenice Agreed. there are so many women who relax their rules for the guys that they want to be in love with. We are so forgiving and understanding to the guys supposed feelings. But then women are then ignoring their relationship needs. Women need to know when dating, the man will work for you not the other way around if he wants a serious exclusive relationship with you. He won't leave you guessing years later if it's gonna become serious when you are already showing him you are serious. Don't waste your time ladies . If there is no promise ring when the second year comes dont tie up your energy on Mr. Use you till you are used up.
Everybody around me knew I dated with the purpose of getting married. My man was one of my schoolmates so we were friends and he knew I don't date just for the sake of dating. This is why all the men that weren't serious about dating me for the purpose of marriage stayed away from me and I did not have a boyfriend until my mid 20s. When knew each other since middle school as friends. He had relationships before me. When he was ready to get established he came after me... We courted for a year before having a specific marriage and kids timeline... Tell men what you want ladies...
Cold fact.
That guy does not seem much of a "man" bcz he sounds like a boy. Playing around before taking her. Knowing she does not play and he did until he could get her. Lol. I do not know, it just sounded very wrong that paragraph from "when he was so and he he came after" sounded like some chaser and not a lover to me.
Whatever. Good thing I do not have boys like that.
Only bc she allowed it we have the power lol
But he was a boy though, no mystery there. She said they’ve each other since middle school and started dating in her 20’s. He did his playing in the right order, when he was a boy. Then he put childish things away and came to his woman. Now if she were talking about their 30s & 40s that would be different.
Ain’t no man rushing to get married unless a woman makes it a priority. For me we like why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free!
Yeah but now u have no guarantee the cow is gonna stay..........
Mz. Rina that’s alright. I’m sure there’s another cow nearby pumping the same ol milk.
Not true at all cuz all milk ain't the same and he ain't getting no younger
Mz. Rina all the more reason to question if you want to spend your remaining years tied down when you’ve been single for so long. Why do men tend to die before their wives.....because they want to lol.
@Loving Life So true. I didn't think men were like that until I met my husband. When we were dating he almost scared me away with the marriage talk. When a man is ready and knows what he wants he will bring up marriage FIRST before you even have to.
He ain't gotta marry. Why?? Well,I'm glad you asked. You're cooking, cleaning,washing ironing,buying houses etc. Yep,those are definitely the attributes of a great woman. However,there's a difference between wifely duties,and girlfriend duties. And,we're too old for the boyfriend,girlfriend came.. I wish her much luck..
You went bad when you brought the house 🏡 you already settled you should have gotten the ring first then the house you did this backward
exactly! Hell no, I'm not buying a house with you and we're not husband and wife. sorry. I refuse to lower my standards.
Old school wisdom"why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"?
Ring first. Marriage 2nd. House 3rd.
She doing too much for him already so why should he marry her.
Why buy a house with a boyfriend?? No ma'am!
I hate when women do that. You asked a man his honest opinion, and he gave you his complete honest opinion.
It ain't very often you will find a woman like you, FACTS...butttttt...If you aren't doing anything about the circumstances, there is no need for him to have to find another woman. He knows you aren't going anywhere so your 'threats' mean nothing.
True, Steve there's no king without a queen
Really! That's according to Steve, he just get carried away sometime. They're not even king or queen, neither Steve or his wife. Truth is a king is a king with or without a queen, vise versa
Don't gve an Ultimate...just say you arent ready or want to, and I cant wait anymore. Leave cause it aint gonna happen. Steve is 100% do what is best for YOU.
Her issue is that she keeps extending. He doesn't abide by your standards, its cool, just keep it moving and find someone who's looking for the same thing as you.
Theres no king with out a queen. Thats true uncle Steve. You rock....
Women are simply not listening, Steve. Like they are not listening to Judge Toler when she gives out wisdom and advice. Steve, what's happening is that many women are petrified of losing the man *_they_* have chosen if they demand choices that make *_them_* happy. This is why many women tolerate abuse; have a baby with prematurely; let a man call them out of their name; and give men second chances when that man cheats on them. Women simply haven't the knowledge *_yet_* to leverage their own power.
Mhhh judge lynn ...full of wisdom i love her
xactly!!
Facts. Because a piece of man and whispered promise of more to come is enough to keep too many of us glued in.
I want the update girl.......
As my former wife who passed away, once said, "Why buy the cow, when you can have the milk for free?!"
DON'T DO WIFE DUTIES ON GIRLFRIEND PRIZES
Most men don’t rush to get marry I dated my husband for nine months and got marry a few months after because I told him it was either we get marry or I find somebody else...my one year anniversary is January 24th.
Too young for that old lady hairdo!!
😏YES IT'S TIME WOMEN STOP LETTING MEN DICTATE YOUR FUTURE. IF HE DON'T FIT YOUR LIFE, GOALS, OR DREAMS..LET HIM GO!!! IF HIS PERSPECTIVE AIN'T GO MATCH YOURS, SAY BYE!✌🏾
👍👏👍👏
Steve was right up until he said she had to MAKE him marry her. I thought he was going to say either he marries you or you leave him! But I guess he don't want to be responsible for breaking up a persons relationship. Her first mistake was buying the house with him because she is acting like the wife without being the wife. Not only can you not MAKE someone marry you but even if you could, how unromantic and depressing!
Steve definitely treaded a bit softly with this one. I think it's because of her age. Had she been 25 instead of 50, I think his advice would have been stronger.
JulySummers -I agree
....and a bit desperate even 😏
No, he made her understand her options without telling her what to do. At that age, there's no need to make a drawing. He used Marjorie as an example
You bought a HOUSE?!??
I’m not going to pressure a man to marry me so that if he cheats or something bad happens he can turn it on me and say he was never really ready to get married smh no sir. He has to already have that desire
She didn't listen to him
I love when Steve throws that little card 😂 that’s how I know he’s done ✅
I know right 😂😅
Oh, Lord Steve I heard you but I wasn’t listening. I read your books and still I let this man do the same thing this lady is talking about for 8 yrs. I got the ring but he never married me. Walked out on me after all those years. He was 62 when he left I was 54. Not again!!!!!
Why buy the cow...
Sophisticated Swanson explain your comment
@@helloimcrota3153 Google the phrase and rewatch the video.
Right... If anyone is confused as to what his comment means, use Google 😂😂😂
When u can get the milk for free..👿
U'll b surprise on how many ppl never heard of different phases b4(especially if they're from a different country )...If they ask just simply tell them...We tell children ALL the time n class NEVER b afraid 2 ask questions when u don't get it...
Love how much he loves his wife so beautiful to see and proud to show it ..
That person needs to learn to stand up for themself 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Should have stood her ground and walked away after 2 years. He'd have come running right back.
You should NEVER want to pressure someone into marriage. They either want to marry you or they don't. She really needs to think about this. If they have a great relationship does she really want to throw it away for a piece of paper? If the answer is yes that's fine but don't complain about being single later in life.
WOW.. WOW.. STEVE ! YOU ALWAYS ROCK!! GOD KEEP GIVING YOU THE WISDOM TO HELP PEOPLE. CONGRATS!
You shouldn't have to give an Ultimatum...
@Cate M.
Agree. Ultimatum is a bad word. Making it clear of what you want to someone is more appropriate.
He don’t want to get married because divorce is too expensive lol
King Green Yup. Especially later in life. If you lose everything at that age you're screwed.
He doesn't want to get married to her because he's probably planning an exit in the near future for a younger woman he most likely will marry and try to impress. That's a poor excuse not to get married by mostly broke, broken or mediocre men. Plenty of men who've been divorced, get back on their feet and marry again.
Question.... What do you do as a man who is engaged to a woman but every time you have an argument or disagreement she wants to break up?
Call her bluff and let her go. If she stays gone, she didn't want you anyway and saved you the trouble of a divorce. If she stays, she needs to be done with the breakup talk or she needs to give your ring back.
STOP WIPING HIS BEHIND FOREVER!!!! You’re doing so much for him, that his satisfied. He figures why marry. You’re in you 50’s, come on get a better life. Be happy and make the most for your life... I hope you didn’t buy that house.... if you did you’re wiping his behind again. Wake up and carry on a better life
Steve is an extremely wise man. Let's hope this women listened and either got married or showed her man the exit.
Please! If you are married and then buy a house together it is more serious? Nobody ever divorced who bought a house together. This man could be more serious with her than a man who is more willing to marry her ...
How long will the happiness of marriage last, 2 years, it sounds good to talk about your man but in your house you are still the one who gets up at 4 a.m. and preparing everything...if you already feel you do to much somehow it implies he doesn't. Marriage with a person you live together alone is not fulfilling. A great relationship with mutual caring partners is. Throw a nice huge love party and than leave him whenever you are not happy! 🎆🎂🍾 [Just in the mood to write this!]
Ladies...if u are ready to marry then take charge of your future and don't be afraid to pop the question. If he rejects then you have your answer and you can move forward. This ain't hard.
Awwwww the way Steve talks about his wife is so cute😍😍
Steve telling truths, love it.
"I'll die for her" 💙💙💙
He knows she ain't going no where.
My issue with her and a lot of other women is they say they want to be married. You hear nothing about I love this guy and he's who I want to spend the rest of my life with. You never hear that. Marriage is the goal when finding who you love enough to spend your life with should be. Some people at a certain age don't feel they need to be married but still want to share their life with someone.
I was living with my husband going on six years ( we both had been married before) but when I started approaching 40 I said well if you don’t propose by the time I’m 40 then I’ll be moving on his answer was I was waiting until New Years to propose and he did it Steve is right we women need to take control of our lives as long as men are getting everything with no commitment then most of them will continue to do so! We’ve been happily married for 37 years now ❤️
That sounds so good, Steve, "there's no king without a queen", wow, that's beautiful, thanks Steve! 💞
Listen to me, Steve's really right!
I sure wish I had this advice when I was younger and had deep insecurities and self doubt, the few " low down players" I dealt with, definitely wouldn't have Never been allowed to stay around as long they did..."but when you know better, you treat yourself better, thank you Uncle Steve 💕".
OMG!!!! GREAT WISDOM UNCLE STEVE!! MS.AMY
Make the decision yourself. I want the ring in 3 months, make me the happiest woman & propose, otherwise I am leaving. Just tell him that. Come on stand your ground, 58-year-old lady!
No ring, no house. Just how I feel.
A man will marry you in a heart bit if he SEES you that way, however, some men, like most decisions in our life have to be judged, pushed a bit to go with the flow, that's how it is, but some men just aren't into marriage like that, in this case it's upto the woman to sta nd her ground if marriage is important to her.
Men aren't marrying today cause its too much of a risk. When you get married you're bringing the govt into your relationship and all the laws favor women. Women are the ones who file for divorce over 70% of the time when it happens in the US. That's a huge risk for a man.
allen reynolds How is it a risk for the man..depending on the man..she may be more established than him.
@@brown_beauty7499 Its more risk for a man cause the laws favor women. Men regularly get screwed over when it comes to the court system when it comes to this. That's why marriage and birth rates have decreased dramatically in the US and western countries.
Steve , men are not like you these days..!
Borders King erm, false! Men are just like Steve when treated like the men they should be treated like by women… don’t sit there and try and badmouth men like as if women aren’t the start of this problem that the world finds itself in.
I never said all men!!!!! ..just the one that's I have dealt with...#negative
my experiences..IJS
Then say some men or from your experience, it’s unfortunate that you haven’t met the right men though and I pray that more women start meeting good god fearing men… they exist
I said what I said...!!!
One relationship I stayed 13 years got nothing the next relationship I did 16 years and he left me this year and I ask for marriage and he said we don’t have enough money but he left me
Steve is right on .. men will use you up and never commit.. why should they when they can have the cake and the icing without the commitment... men treat us like we allow them to... I've been doing things backwards all my life!! Listen to Steve!!!