the sopranos - a dose of reality from dr. krakower

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  • @duncanidaho2130
    @duncanidaho2130 3 роки тому +1230

    "How's that going?"
    Killed all further arguments.

    • @beastdclxvi5959
      @beastdclxvi5959 3 роки тому +22

      They should have kept him on the show!

    • @Pointlesshandle48
      @Pointlesshandle48 3 роки тому +22

      @@beastdclxvi5959 I think he has the perfect amount of time on screen.

    • @ShreeNation
      @ShreeNation 3 роки тому +14

      @@beastdclxvi5959 he died shortly after.

    • @retroguy9494
      @retroguy9494 3 роки тому +31

      It was actually an excellent line. Here, he gives credit and opportunity to the priest and Carmella's religion and without being condescending or judgmental, he makes Carmella see that she did in fact try her priests suggestion but it did not work. So now she MUST try something different.

    • @billballinger5622
      @billballinger5622 3 роки тому +1

      @@retroguy9494 Yea this scene is amazing. We need clearer honest thinkers like that. Dude reminded me of Thomas Sowell

  • @shrapnel77
    @shrapnel77 3 роки тому +3481

    This guy provided more help to Carmela in one session than Melfi did to Tony the entire series.

    • @jameshawk2470
      @jameshawk2470 3 роки тому +549

      Melfi was entertaining herself with Tony. Whether she knew it or not. Once she realized tho that she was making tony a better criminal with her “therapy” they parted ways.

    • @evanlee6644
      @evanlee6644 3 роки тому +153

      You can't treat sociopathy lmao, idk why you're surprised

    • @DemonofLight80
      @DemonofLight80 3 роки тому +171

      Melfi didn’t entirely quit Tony until she caught herself just before she ordered a hit. That’s when she realized how HE was affecting HER.

    • @dylanshackleton1608
      @dylanshackleton1608 3 роки тому +199

      Good point@@evanlee6644 . Like Tony would last one session with this guy. He'd have a temper tantrum after 2 minutes and never come back.

    • @paulgilbert2506
      @paulgilbert2506 3 роки тому +271

      To be fair, its probably FAR easier to help Carmela than Tony.

  • @RedBricksTraffic
    @RedBricksTraffic 4 роки тому +4361

    I love the brutal, unapologetic honesty of a wise old man.

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot 4 роки тому +7

      @@tommysoprano1441 is that a line from the show? Or your own life? If it’s your life, then decide if you love the person you are cheating on, and try your best to think what you would feel if she or he was doing the cheating, think if she or whoever loves you, how would feel if you hurt her, destroyed her trust, and remember she is gonna lose faith in you, & she will not see or look at you as them man she loved she or thought loved her. I was told “he took the light out of your eyes, what a sad day that was, when my best friend who knows me said that, sad for me! Can you live with that disappointment when she looks at you, even if she forgives you and takes you back? Can you leave with the light that was in her eyes being gone, when she tells you she loves you or shows you love, and you aren’t the man she loves anymore, if you can then it’s time to maybe leave and let her find someone who won’t cheat and can love her the way she loves you.
      Because once she finds out even if she forgives you, things won’t be the same, she won’t be happy, so either quit doing it or get counseling and leave your lover, or move on with your lover. It all comes down to how would you feel if she knew, how would she look at you, & how would you feel if she was doing what you did. She deserves better if she is a decent person, not perfect but decent.
      Me I can’t hurt anyone like that, even though I can tell you that for the most part my fiancé has been pretty good. I have told him that I long ago i repeatedly warned him I was not his trophy to be paraded around or his damsel in distress because I am sick, (don’t ask for kudos for doing the things people do everyday for loved ones) and that if he lied to me about being able to handle my issues, when I had warned him then I refuse to feel guilty because he lied.
      And that the light in my eyes and joy in me and love is quickly being drained, and if he does not get himself together and tell me the truth, I have no choice. If he’s honest then tells me he lied, and gets help I can work with him, but it better be soon. And cheating was never negotiable, so I am talking about the mental part of the lie that has exhausted me. He’s worn me out even though he does many many sweet things, I don’t care about what he bought, he knows what I am saying but HE wants me to lie to him and I won’t. I deserve the best, I have had the worst because people lied, and deceived then begged for forgiveness, robbing me of precious time, and joy! He was warned, so when I walk away I won’t apologize even though he has done some nice things, I told him what I needed. I never lied. He can never said I did not tell him.

    • @gastonbell108
      @gastonbell108 4 роки тому +73

      Psychologists and psychiatrists are specifically supposed to avoid moral judgments on their patients. Like Melfi, it's supposed to be all about making them happier and more day-to-day functional. Unfortunately, as Melfi learns only too late, that makes you an enabler of their behavior - you're simply making them a better criminal.
      This scene was well-deserved and much needed, but IRL the shrink would never have expressed his opinions so openly. If he didn't want to see Carmela, he'd simply wait until the last minute of the appointment then say "I'm sorry, but I'm unable to accept you as a client" and refuse to take her calls anymore.

    • @thecancelling2870
      @thecancelling2870 3 роки тому +23

      Absolutely. Also, few priests who do marriage counseling would advise a woman to change a psychopath. The Church is strong on marriage but it's not stupid on this issue at all, at least not now.

    • @passiveaggressivenegotiato8087
      @passiveaggressivenegotiato8087 3 роки тому +27

      yeah, wise for not wanting a billing record with her

    • @MarkT1700
      @MarkT1700 3 роки тому +29

      I want him to be my therapist

  • @pjg19751
    @pjg19751 8 років тому +5205

    Just when we were rooting for the crew, along comes Dr. Krakower to remind both Carmella...and the audience...of who exactly these people really are.

    • @sugarcrafty777
      @sugarcrafty777 8 років тому +93

      Amen!

    • @stretch90
      @stretch90 4 роки тому +451

      The show always did that. Every time you started to empathize with them the writers would remind you that they're horrible people.

    • @AbdulGabagool83
      @AbdulGabagool83 4 роки тому +179

      Amen, everyone talking about Carmella's reality check, it was as much to give us one

    • @Schrodinger_
      @Schrodinger_ 4 роки тому +56

      This was the episode after Tracee. I'm not sure the rafters were filled with the crew's fans at this point.

    • @ccgbassandmore3
      @ccgbassandmore3 4 роки тому +3

      @Leif H lol what's that supposed to mean

  • @joshamaya196
    @joshamaya196 3 роки тому +507

    "Take only the children, what's left of them, and go".
    Man did he hit the nail on the head with Meadow and AJ.

    • @Marvin-dg8vj
      @Marvin-dg8vj 3 роки тому +34

      It is a brilliant line.
      I grew up with no empathy .You learn from damaged and corrupt people.It is so hard to break free from that .It is burned into your soul.

  • @ovskii96
    @ovskii96 3 роки тому +761

    "Probably the least of his misdeeds."
    I love how he's calling out Carmela for her self-centeredness. She's whining about Tony cheating on her, yet he's done so much worse that she never says anything about. To other people.

    • @TunaSubAlert
      @TunaSubAlert Рік тому +23

      @akshaynatu1084 one character that comes to mind who didn't deserve Tony's power trip was the cop who pulled him over. Tony promptly got him fired, found out the guy suffers from depression like himself, considered getting him his job back, but decides against it out of his own pride. He even goes to taunt the poor guy at his new job and tries to make him take his money so tony can free himself of his guilt for getting him fired.

    • @whatamidoingeatingsushi2677
      @whatamidoingeatingsushi2677 Рік тому +10

      @Akshay Natu But Tony didn’t kill or hurt any of them for the sake of justice. Not even Ralph. I remember after they killed Ralph and dispose of the body, Christopher and Tony were at the Bing and when Tony woke up, he looks at the picture of Tracy. And I thought that was an amazing scene. Tony looks at Tracy showing that he is excusing himself by saying to himself what he did was a good thing because Ralph is a horrible man who murdered a 20-year-old single mother. That makes him feel like he has morals. But in reality, he just killed a made guy over a horse. Not only that, Ralph killed the horse only for money when his child had just become a vegetable. If Tony had killed Ralph after he killed Tracy, then he can say to himself “hey you know what, I did a good thing.” Only that isn’t the case, he killed Ralph because of a horse and his own mental issues. Which is inexcusable both in mafia morals and regular people's morals.

    • @tony020480
      @tony020480 Рік тому +10

      @@whatamidoingeatingsushi2677
      “She’s a beautiful innocent creature! What’d she ever do to you?” I’d like to think he had Tracy in mind, but I know he didn’t. He really did kill him over a horse.

    • @Inbraneinthememsane
      @Inbraneinthememsane Рік тому

      @Akshay Natu the crooked politician did no less deserve it

    • @Rabithebengali
      @Rabithebengali Рік тому

      best comment

  • @purplesword4394
    @purplesword4394 8 років тому +1998

    Carmella was never leaving that life of relative luxury for lesser financial circumstances.

    • @MultiEvil85
      @MultiEvil85 8 років тому +123

      purple sword I think the psychiatrist knew that secretly.

    • @Mickieshelton
      @Mickieshelton 6 років тому +38

      MultiEvil85 we all did

    • @WestIndianAK
      @WestIndianAK 4 роки тому +212

      Notice right before he said "Probably the least of his misdeeds," she said "So what? So what? He betrays me every week with these whores!" *THAT'S* the only aspect of Tony's lifestyle that she has a problem with. Not the human suffering he causes.

    • @ShaneSpear02
      @ShaneSpear02 4 роки тому +105

      As soon as she said the word "apartment" it was over. Just like Chrissy seeing that family at the gas station, it broke them.

    • @NightsChapterSeven
      @NightsChapterSeven 3 роки тому +24

      Relative? Dining out in fancy restaurants on a near daily basis is the definition of luxury

  • @DigitalZiggurat
    @DigitalZiggurat 3 роки тому +453

    He was honest with her. She didn't go there for honesty.

    • @retroguy9494
      @retroguy9494 3 роки тому +12

      True

    • @steverogers7601
      @steverogers7601 3 роки тому +37

      He saw right through her bullsht lol

    • @lucasrackley250
      @lucasrackley250 3 роки тому +17

      We all say we like and want honesty until we actually receive it.

    • @steverogers7601
      @steverogers7601 3 роки тому +3

      @@lucasrackley250 I mean, getting honest feedback sometimes “hurts” or is uncomfortable, or is unexpected, or is uncalled for at times but I will say that more often than not, I did appreciate it AFTERWARDS when someone told me I was being too nice or if I had a piece of broccoli stuck in my teeth, or if I didn’t approach a challenge at work properly or in an understanding manner.
      Many folks may not like it or appreciate it at the moment, but I don’t know too many folks who didn’t appreciate getting more insight into what they weren’t aware of before.

    • @SongOfChaos1
      @SongOfChaos1 3 роки тому +4

      @@steverogers7601 It all comes down to the delivery. Honesty without compassion is brutality.

  • @SaudiHaramco
    @SaudiHaramco 3 роки тому +3144

    Krakower: "i'm not charging you because i won't take blood money"
    Melfi: "..."

    • @lurk7967
      @lurk7967 3 роки тому +79

      he is simply imposing his own morality now I know we all know Tony Soprano is far from a good person
      But people like this doctor want a world without crime and that may sound good to a lot of people on paper but with the world without crime we wouldn't have any drugs anything illegal that people enjoy such as driving cars spirited etc
      More so Tukwila, Goldman's 1913s a anarchism what it really stands for people that hold the Lauper to a gold standard and truly believe that no law should ever be broken I want the world and the people that inhabit it to be the equivalent of a flock of sheep walking down a straight path with two high walls on other side Harley obedient if you really think about it that is how we are in this world
      Referring to the American government, the greatest American Anarchist, David Thoreau, said:
      "Government, what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to
      posterity, but each instance losing its integrity; it has not the vitality and force of a single living man. Law
      never made man a whit more just; and by means of their respect for it, even the well disposed are daily
      made agents of injustice."
      Indeed, the keynote of government is injustice. With the arrogance and self-sufficiency of the King who
      could do no wrong, governments ordain, judge, condemn, and punish the most insignificant offenses,
      while maintaining themselves by the greatest of all offenses, the annihilation of individual liberty. Thus
      Ouida is right when she maintains that "the State only aims at instilling those qualities in its public by
      which its demands are obeyed, and its exchequer is filled. Its highest attainment is the reduction of
      mankind to clockwork. In its atmosphere all those finer and more delicate liberties, which require
      treatment and spacious expansion, inevitably dry up and perish. The State requires a taxpaying machine in
      which there is no hitch, an exchequer in which there is never a deficit, and a public, monotonous, obedient,
      colorless, spiritless, moving humbly like a flock of sheep along a straight high road between two walls."
      Yet even a flock of sheep would resist the chicanery of the State, if it were not for the corruptive,
      tyrannical, and oppressive methods it employs to serve its purposes. Therefore Bakunin repudiates the
      State as synonymous with the surrender of the liberty of the individual or small minorities,--the
      destruction of social relationship, the curtailment, or complete denial even, of life itself, for its own
      aggrandizement. The State is the altar of political freedom and, like the religious altar, it is maintained for
      the purpose of human sacrifice.
      In fact, there is hardly a modern thinker who does not agree that government, organized authority, or the
      State, is necessary only to maintain or protect property and monopoly. It has proven efficient in that
      function only.
      Even George Bernard Shaw, who hopes for the miraculous from the State under Fabianism, nevertheless
      admits that "it is at present a huge machine for robbing and slave-driving of the poor by brute force." This
      being the case, it is hard to see why the clever prefacer wishes to uphold the State after poverty shall have
      ceased to exist.
      Unfortunately, there are still a number of people who continue in the fatal belief that government rests on
      natural laws, that it maintains social order and harmony, that it diminishes crime, and that it prevents the
      lazy man from fleecing his fellows. I shall therefore examine these contentions.
      Search Emma Goldman.anarchism what is really stands for on google.for the rest

    • @MagnumTriumph
      @MagnumTriumph 3 роки тому +17

      @@lurk7967 Normally I don't read tl;dr comments. But this was ok :)

    • @thugmonk9837
      @thugmonk9837 3 роки тому +113

      Silly old man. All money is blood money

    • @jarmonjohnson
      @jarmonjohnson 3 роки тому +68

      @@lurk7967 I apologize if this sounds ignorant to you, but I understand your criticisms of government and agree with most of them. The problem is whenever I have a conversation with some with anarchist political beliefs we end up agreeing on the flaws of certain economic models and government institutions, but I've never heard of an anarcho alternative that sounded realistic and reasonable to me.

    • @chadwells7562
      @chadwells7562 3 роки тому +8

      @@lurk7967 This is way too insightful an analysis to be stuck in a UA-cam video. Thanks.

  • @karenabsadie
    @karenabsadie 10 років тому +1363

    One of the best scenes in the entire series. Amazing acting from Edie Falco. This guy tells it to her straight, cuts through all the defenses she's perfected and you see her going back to into them with her " you think I should draw clearer boundaries, not internalize," and he brings it right back to her with his "what did I just say? Leave him," and you can see the shock on her face. Love his parting words to her, "one thing you can never say is that you haven't been told."

    • @MrLamotta86
      @MrLamotta86 10 років тому +55

      just another example of the amazing screenwriting in Sopraonos

    • @joee2969
      @joee2969 9 років тому +17

      MrLamotta86 That, yes - and also the amazing lack of authenticity where anything medical was concerned. I loved The Sopranos, but my one big beef was the gross inaccuracy of every single medical situation, from Uncle Junior's surgical odyssey to Tony's "squaw-moose" skin cancer. This is a classic example; a real psychiatrist would never breach therapeutic neutrality like that. I understand that it was a TV show, and the writers had only 4 minutes to portray Krakower attempting to penetrate Carmella's many defenses; but they could have hired a medical consultant, who would have immediately said, "No! No shrink would ever be do it that way. And that's not how you pronounce 'adenocarcinoma', or how a skin cancer is removed ... " and on, and on. With all the trouble that David Chase went to, to make everything as authentic as possible, it's amazing that he didn't care whether the medical information was accurate or not.

    • @almuslim2346
      @almuslim2346 7 років тому +89

      Joe E
      what david chase has shown here is a psychiatrist who has become fed up with what psychiatric therapy has become and the results of it show themselves across america..
      This wise old man has over stepped the conventional method and told her as it is...and at the end he says at least you haven't been told..
      David chase was breaking grounds and even in this scene he has shown that americans have become too soft and politically correct..
      Any how carmela only saw rhis guy once...melfi was the one who was working on the proper guide lines.....and what was the result there....

    • @carlastaton4150
      @carlastaton4150 7 років тому +46

      Good points. Melfi is actively if at first unwittingly enabling and encouraging Tony, whereas Dr Krakower gives his personal advice. He knows he won't see her again.

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot 4 роки тому +7

      al muslim I agree. We have many people all over the world in “therapy” for years instead of getting them to make healthy choices, & break dysfunctional relationships. All original sin is is crazy dysfunction taught to other generations. People go to church, synagogue mosque, Buddha instead of breaking those nasty habits. We can still have empathy but we got to be straight with people. Dang my mentor wanted me to practice, this is making me think I may give it a go. If I can direct patients to getting healthy, instead of keeping them coming to me. It’s ok to check on once in awhile but I am astonished by people that go for years with no progress.

  • @CrownOfTheTown
    @CrownOfTheTown 12 років тому +2631

    Some forms of Sociopathy include empathy and kindness. It can be reserved for mothers, family, pets, etc. It all depends on the class and degree. Sociopathy is known for a strong lack of empathy, not a complete loss of it. Psychopathy is a term usually used for a person with Zero empathy and complete criminal irritability, and lack of control. It's safe to say that Tony had the makings of a Sociopath, but he never had the makings of a varsity athlete. Small hands was his problem.

    • @hazardeur
      @hazardeur 4 роки тому +251

      Shineopathy is a term usually used for a person with Zero empathy towards other shineboxes, and lack of control of his own shinebox. It's safe to say that Tony had the makings of a Sociopath, but he never had the makings of a varsity shiner. Small hands was his problem.

    • @Sortafly70
      @Sortafly70 4 роки тому +1

      I see what you did there... LOL

    • @uglymikethethird2341
      @uglymikethethird2341 4 роки тому +160

      Not going to lie you had us for the half there.

    • @StopFlaggingVideos
      @StopFlaggingVideos 4 роки тому +113

      i hate being taken along for a ride like that. have your fucking upvote

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot 4 роки тому +7

      Hazardeur Lol.

  • @jmad71
    @jmad71 8 років тому +1460

    One of the most subtle, complex, convicting and powerful scenes in the entire series. I think about this one all the time.

    • @mikefingers8909
      @mikefingers8909 7 років тому +66

      it wasn't subtle. it was as blunt as can be.

    • @tchoupitoulos
      @tchoupitoulos 4 роки тому +37

      @@mikefingers8909 Seriously subtle as a sledgehammer. "I won't take blood money, and neither should you."

    • @gregaroivadilinovich280
      @gregaroivadilinovich280 3 роки тому +44

      ”Take only the children - what’s left of them”
      Greatest line in the series

    • @cogen651
      @cogen651 3 роки тому +1

      Why would you think about it all the time, you in the mob

    • @TraumaER
      @TraumaER 3 роки тому +5

      @@cogen651 we all can’t grow up in fantasies.

  • @ikazukison2
    @ikazukison2 3 роки тому +404

    "So you're saying that I need to keep some distance, stop internalizing . . . "
    "Dafuq did I just say?"

    • @walterlv01
      @walterlv01 3 роки тому +55

      Right? He said nothing even resembling any of that. Clearly she went to "therapy" to hear that sort of typical jargon so she could twist it into a justification in her own mind of what she does and reassure herself that a therapist "agrees" with her outlook. This guy blew that strategy clear out of the water. Which is why the next time we see her she's at home in the fetal position on her couch.

    • @vasvas8914
      @vasvas8914 3 роки тому +18

      "Did I stutter?!"

    • @retroguy9494
      @retroguy9494 3 роки тому +11

      @@walterlv01 He was a damn good therapist.

    • @SakariHapponen
      @SakariHapponen 3 роки тому +3

      @@vasvas8914 Man of culture

    • @apologyisnothepolicy
      @apologyisnothepolicy 2 місяці тому

      This guy was ruthless. Awesome character

  • @dbrjaxfl
    @dbrjaxfl 8 років тому +527

    One thing you can never say - that you haven't been told.

    • @reubena7854
      @reubena7854 4 роки тому +32

      Could be the most brutal sentence in the show when you think about it

    • @aghadmtl
      @aghadmtl 3 роки тому +20

      They’ve been told. Twice. Now I’ll tell em

    • @prairie_dog_5443
      @prairie_dog_5443 3 роки тому +4

      Yep

    • @Gemmarose9012
      @Gemmarose9012 3 роки тому +4

      Of course it won’t stop her from playing the victim in it all.

    • @vegetavsgoku2
      @vegetavsgoku2 3 роки тому +5

      So powerful and so true.

  • @62SG
    @62SG 8 років тому +1438

    "Take only the children, what's left of them, and go."
    What's left of them, as in what of them hasn't been corrupted by Tony.

    • @carlastaton4150
      @carlastaton4150 7 років тому +74

      It is already too late by then.

    • @Mickieshelton
      @Mickieshelton 6 років тому +78

      James Fielding that was why Carmella was never innocent. She let her daughter be subjected to that life and money...it was all fucked up.

    • @goodplenty534
      @goodplenty534 4 роки тому +73

      Only Meadow had any sense at this point. She had an independent streak and questioned Tony. AJ was already ruined from being so spoiled he wouldnt make it if his survival depended on hid willingness to work. By the ene of the series, Meadow was a full apologist for Tony, engaged to another mobsters son, becoming a lawyer to defend people like Tony by trade. AJ who after all of his fuck ups, was given a good job by his dad and after burning his suv was seen driving a new beamer and as we all know with Carmela, she realized she couldnt do it on her own, all it took was Tony buying a spec house and she could live high on the hog still.

    • @ehsaankhan7078
      @ehsaankhan7078 4 роки тому +15

      @@goodplenty534 yupp, not only a mobsters son, but a guy who was on track to be in that life as well, kind of already doing small crimes

    • @jimrockfish1875
      @jimrockfish1875 3 роки тому +2

      @@ehsaankhan7078
      Finn? Son of a mobster? Small crimes? I missed that part.

  • @alanzom1503
    @alanzom1503 3 роки тому +409

    Her reaction when he says "the mafia"... it's like she tiptoed around it all her life and suddenly someone spits it out in her face.

    • @vasvas8914
      @vasvas8914 3 роки тому +12

      Exactly. Denial as a way of life

    • @dtschuor459
      @dtschuor459 3 роки тому +23

      That and the way she moves her hand in dismissal of its truly criminal nature by saying, “organized crime” as though that makes it less awful than the more disorganized type…
      Good acting by Edie Falco. She truly understood Carmella Soprano.

    • @John-sr2hr
      @John-sr2hr 2 роки тому +5

      @@dtschuor459 yep. She always acts like people such as drug dealers are wayyyy worse than her husband, yet most dealers have probably never killed anyone and are actually rather "good hearted people". I've met a few dealers who were incredibly nice and caring people, they just needed more income and had little to no other means of getting it. Plus, without drug dealers we wouldn't have drugs. And idk about you but a LOT of people are fans of drugs. Without them there'd be a hell of a lot more angry, stressed out people in the world lol.

    • @dtschuor459
      @dtschuor459 2 роки тому

      @@John-sr2hr
      It sort of depends on the drugs…but yeah.
      Dealers aren’t a universal evil…there are predatory “lenders” who do it with the law on their side, and nobody refuses to invite them to a barbecue 🫢

    • @John-sr2hr
      @John-sr2hr 2 роки тому +1

      @@dtschuor459 yeah, the fent dealers and the violent pieces of shit who will kill you because you owe them $15 definitely aren't the nice ones I'm talking about lol

  • @mightymate9650
    @mightymate9650 8 років тому +892

    "Probably the least of his misdeeds." How's that going?

    • @rayjr62
      @rayjr62 4 роки тому +25

      Man, was that deep.

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot 4 роки тому +16

      mighty mate lol. Love this character, I met real psychiatrist’s like this. He is great. And I wish this for every patient!

    • @lurk7967
      @lurk7967 3 роки тому

      It's line like that make this guy a pretty terrible doctor to his patients at least in a realistic this show is very
      he is simply imposing his own morality now I know we all know Tony Soprano is far from a good person
      But people like this doctor want a world without crime and that may sound good to a lot of people on paper but with the world without crime we wouldn't have any drugs anything illegal that people enjoy such as driving cars spirited etc
      More so Tukwila, Goldman's 1913s a anarchism what it really stands for people that hold the Lauper to a gold standard and truly believe that no law should ever be broken I want the world and the people that inhabit it to be the equivalent of a flock of sheep walking down a straight path with two high walls on other side Harley obedient if you really think about it that is how we are in this world
      Referring to the American government, the greatest American Anarchist, David Thoreau, said:
      "Government, what is it but a tradition, though a recent one, endeavoring to transmit itself unimpaired to
      posterity, but each instance losing its integrity; it has not the vitality and force of a single living man. Law
      never made man a whit more just; and by means of their respect for it, even the well disposed are daily
      made agents of injustice."
      Indeed, the keynote of government is injustice. With the arrogance and self-sufficiency of the King who
      could do no wrong, governments ordain, judge, condemn, and punish the most insignificant offenses,
      while maintaining themselves by the greatest of all offenses, the annihilation of individual liberty. Thus
      Ouida is right when she maintains that "the State only aims at instilling those qualities in its public by
      which its demands are obeyed, and its exchequer is filled. Its highest attainment is the reduction of
      mankind to clockwork. In its atmosphere all those finer and more delicate liberties, which require
      treatment and spacious expansion, inevitably dry up and perish. The State requires a taxpaying machine in
      which there is no hitch, an exchequer in which there is never a deficit, and a public, monotonous, obedient,
      colorless, spiritless, moving humbly like a flock of sheep along a straight high road between two walls."
      Yet even a flock of sheep would resist the chicanery of the State, if it were not for the corruptive,
      tyrannical, and oppressive methods it employs to serve its purposes. Therefore Bakunin repudiates the
      State as synonymous with the surrender of the liberty of the individual or small minorities,--the
      destruction of social relationship, the curtailment, or complete denial even, of life itself, for its own
      aggrandizement. The State is the altar of political freedom and, like the religious altar, it is maintained for
      the purpose of human sacrifice.
      In fact, there is hardly a modern thinker who does not agree that government, organized authority, or the
      State, is necessary only to maintain or protect property and monopoly. It has proven efficient in that
      function only.
      Even George Bernard Shaw, who hopes for the miraculous from the State under Fabianism, nevertheless
      admits that "it is at present a huge machine for robbing and slave-driving of the poor by brute force." This
      being the case, it is hard to see why the clever prefacer wishes to uphold the State after poverty shall have
      ceased to exist.
      Unfortunately, there are still a number of people who continue in the fatal belief that government rests on
      natural laws, that it maintains social order and harmony, that it diminishes crime, and that it prevents the
      lazy man from fleecing his fellows. I shall therefore examine these contentions.
      Search Emma Goldman.anarchism what is really stands for on google.for the rest

    • @heinrichvonwicker168
      @heinrichvonwicker168 3 роки тому +14

      @@lurk7967 Oooookay.....

    • @PayneLive
      @PayneLive 3 роки тому

      @David Cat did you get that from somewhere? ;D

  • @rambojohnj.6117
    @rambojohnj.6117 6 років тому +702

    This guy deserves a raise from whoever pays his paycheck.
    “Enabler would be more of an accurate job description of you than an accomplice.”

    • @NightsChapterSeven
      @NightsChapterSeven 3 роки тому +1

      He says “neighbor” not enabler

    • @rambojohnj.6117
      @rambojohnj.6117 3 роки тому +97

      @@NightsChapterSeven
      Try again.
      He says “enabler”, and “enabling” Tony makes perfect sense, as opposed to being his “accomplice.”
      “Neighbor”, which he does not say, doesn’t make sense.

    • @detectiveh7399
      @detectiveh7399 3 роки тому +16

      Enabler

    • @vijays296
      @vijays296 3 роки тому +10

      @@NightsChapterSeven he says enabler

    • @vijays296
      @vijays296 3 роки тому +4

      @@josephpalacio2343 enabler would be a more accurate job description than accomplice.
      A neighbour would be a more accurate job description than accomplice.
      The first comparison makes sense and the second doesn't in this context. Besides you can hear the L too

  • @cometface
    @cometface 2 роки тому +220

    “One thing that you can never say, is that you’ve never been told.” Completely strips the mob wife of their immunity to guilt, regret and shame. Brilliant quote

    • @swashkiv7509
      @swashkiv7509 2 місяці тому +1

      And then she asks for 50 grand from Tony right after this

  • @andrezinho214
    @andrezinho214 3 роки тому +375

    Everyone is focusing on the actual conversation, which is relevant, but I think an equally important aspect of this scene is the contrast with Dr Melfi’s sessions with Tony. The writers are showing us that she is an enabler and only keeps Tony as a patient because, in some level, she’s drawn to him. She only realizes that in the very end of the show!

    • @watermelonhead8054
      @watermelonhead8054 3 роки тому +2

      i hated melfi, she was so selfish. the episode where she gets raped, she didnt tell tony so she could feel some sense of power and control. she allowed that guy to walk free and unharmed when she could have had him killed. anyone after that point he rapes is on her, and because she did it to feel in control i would argue she's no better than a rapist.

    • @davidgzesh8952
      @davidgzesh8952 2 роки тому +12

      good distinction, very little time used in developing subpoints like that in the show. Very economical.

    • @Bluemgwes
      @Bluemgwes Рік тому +12

      Precisely! This scene reveals so much to which the audience was oblivious to since we were also seduced by the charisma of Tony Soprano.

    • @gwell2118
      @gwell2118 Рік тому +13

      Not surprising, it was implied and even stated outright deep down Melfi knows Tony was a lost cause but kept seeing him because it created a sense of danger and thrill for her. Even her own therapist called out the fact that Melfi seems to derive a kind of almost perverse thrill at treating a mobster. Plus heavily implied sexual attraction to him.

    • @JuanAlmonte-rf7xk
      @JuanAlmonte-rf7xk Місяць тому +1

      @@gwell2118:exactly she actually acted jealous about Gloria

  • @jamesteegardner2273
    @jamesteegardner2273 4 роки тому +1225

    "Take only the children, what's left of them, and go". That is a very powerful line to say to a mother. The fact that she heard that and still didn't listen proves that her character was just as bad as Tony's. Such great writing on this show.

    • @chrisweber6090
      @chrisweber6090 4 роки тому +92

      I wouldn’t say as bad she was rotten for sure but tony was a sociopathic serial killer night and day

    • @BassssicBasssssssss
      @BassssicBasssssssss 3 роки тому +9

      How do so many fans of this show always miss the point and say dumb shit like this

    • @haydeng3316
      @haydeng3316 3 роки тому +3

      @@BassssicBasssssssss care to elaborate?

    • @deathrager2404
      @deathrager2404 3 роки тому +12

      she didnt give a shit about tony, aj or meadow. yet pretended she did.

    • @thewrongshoes
      @thewrongshoes 3 роки тому +19

      @@chrisweber6090 she is almost as bad because she pretends to be offended by the stuff Tony does she wants to keep the lifestyle that comes with it

  • @theserpent1893
    @theserpent1893 3 роки тому +198

    “How’s that going” I almost died of laughter! the delivery was perfection

    • @stratonarrow
      @stratonarrow 10 місяців тому +3

      Yep. It’s the theme of the whole show.

  • @finarrykahn13
    @finarrykahn13 10 років тому +130

    This is the only responsible medicine administered in a shrink's office during the entire series. Sober her up to the immorality of her life, don't get her high on psychotropics or Freudian rationalizations of that life. Dr. Melfi should have perhaps listened to her mentor. Instead, therapeutic neutrality and her own fascination with treating a mafioso renders her precisely what Carmela is: one of many enablers of Tony.

    • @josephforte8736
      @josephforte8736 7 років тому +16

      That's her arc, though: at the end of the series, she finally realizes how futile it is to treat someone who has no intention of changing. Melfi had flaws, but she was capable of growth.

    • @petrichorjournal8866
      @petrichorjournal8866 4 роки тому +2

      Some fans have suggested this is a dream. Carmela subconsciously knows all these unmovable moral truths about her life, and projects them onto a vague preconception of a psychiatrist as an older Jewish man. When we next see her, seemingly depressed on the couch, its been read she's rhetorically positioning herself in a way that gets her what she wants. But perhaps she also just woke up.

  • @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
    @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 3 роки тому +917

    Carmela’s tears dry up real quick when Tony gives her jewelry & cars 😂

    • @deathbastardable
      @deathbastardable 2 роки тому +61

      "It's a Cayenne. Like the peppah."

    • @spiderrico1853
      @spiderrico1853 2 роки тому +18

      T always knew when to provide...

    • @ikemotosystems1434
      @ikemotosystems1434 2 роки тому +29

      The butter not melting in her mouth, whatever happened there...

    • @johnnyvonjoe
      @johnnyvonjoe 2 роки тому +27

      This is exactly what Tony meant during all their arguments and clearly he wasn't wrong either lol

    • @CheerfullyCynical829
      @CheerfullyCynical829 2 роки тому +15

      Her tears dry up TEMPORARILY. Then they flow like a river when she's lying in bed next to Tony's fat a$$ who is snoring away like a freight train after eating three big plates of Rigatoni washed down with a few glasses of red wine. "What the fuck kind of life have I settled for?" is Carmela's thought every night. While she fantasizes about Furio.

  • @socomply5963
    @socomply5963 3 роки тому +748

    I love his “I’ve been married 31 years” I see it as a sly to Carmellas’ hypocritical excuse about not leaving tony due to the “sanctity of marriage”. His face when she tried to imply that he wouldn’t get it because he was Jewish. Ugh I love how often they remind you that Carmella is only in that situation because she wants to be.

    • @frannyy9309
      @frannyy9309 3 роки тому +46

      She knew who he was when she married him. She’s such a hypocrite.

    • @KimPhilby203
      @KimPhilby203 3 роки тому +15

      Love Jewish People...They have insight from years of suffering...

    • @aaronmiles2802
      @aaronmiles2802 3 роки тому +24

      @@KimPhilby203 You mean like almost every other sect of people on earth?🤦🏾‍♂️🤣🤣

    • @hankster0878
      @hankster0878 3 роки тому +6

      she starts by making the point that he would not understand the commitment of marriage family.. etc...
      ive been married for 31 years..
      "well then you know".......

    • @NothingToPointOut24
      @NothingToPointOut24 3 роки тому +5

      @@aaronmiles2802 Jews and blacks are the only people whose past suffering has become marketable..so in turn its the only ones people "care" about

  • @plaidchuck
    @plaidchuck 4 роки тому +93

    "If the truth can destroy something it deserves to be destroyed"

  • @UnoriginallyInclined
    @UnoriginallyInclined 7 років тому +212

    Interesting how Carmela throws in that line "you'll charge me anyway". Just like Tony throwing cash at Melfi when they were disagreeing about something.

    • @Rutherford_Inchworm_III
      @Rutherford_Inchworm_III 3 роки тому +32

      Carmela and Tony are strikingly similar in some regards - that's why they got married and it's why they're not divorced. They somehow both see themselves as self-elevated working-class Italians who are constantly victimized by the outside world so they're entitled to victimize it back. The famous "poor me". Carmela didn't earn a penny of that money yet she confirms 100% of what the Dr. is saying when she dismissively throws money at him - she's Tony's first moll, nothing more.

    • @hofx666
      @hofx666 3 роки тому +12

      That’s her way of trying to deceive that doctor into thinking she doesn’t want to be there and hear what he has to say, carm is very deceitful.

    • @retroguy9494
      @retroguy9494 3 роки тому +1

      @@Rutherford_Inchworm_III Sadly, you're right. And I have knows several Italians who felt the same way. I'm talking about REAL working class Italians, not ones involved in criminal enterprise.

  • @Pogouldangeliwitz
    @Pogouldangeliwitz 3 роки тому +174

    Every six months or so I come back to this scene. It's the heart of the whole show, the keystone of that gigantic arch.

  • @Dan-ys8nk
    @Dan-ys8nk 3 роки тому +279

    This scene is another example of why the Sopranos is a masterpiece. Dr. Krakower is a highly intelligent, wise, straightforward and principled man. He sees right through Carmella's bullshit and tells her straight to her face why her illusion is an illusion. Carmella wants to have her cake and eat it too. As we know now with the series over, Carmella made a choice to stay with Tony because of the $500 shoes and diamond rings as Tony pointed out in Season 5. Carmella made a decision to be Tony's accomplice and enabler in the pursuit of wealth and influence. This was a great cast and phenomenal story from beginning to end. Every actor on this show made this show special in every way. I am grateful to have grown up on this show and see real actors shine every Sunday night on HBO.

  • @DeepScreenAnalysis
    @DeepScreenAnalysis 14 років тому +437

    This is arguably the crucial scene of the entire series.

    • @squeezycakes
      @squeezycakes 2 роки тому +2

      does anything change as a result of it?

    • @DeepScreenAnalysis
      @DeepScreenAnalysis 2 роки тому +1

      @@squeezycakes let’s just say something festers in Carmela as a result of this session which comes out later on.

    • @rodrigomunoz9217
      @rodrigomunoz9217 2 роки тому +2

      last scene: tony and carmela meadow and aj sitting happy in a restaurant. this scene changed nothing

    • @Phil_Burton
      @Phil_Burton Рік тому +9

      @@squeezycakes No, but that's kind of the point. Carmela is just as addicted to the lifestyle as the rest of them, and so makes her choice to stay in it.

    • @no-barkthechosenone2436
      @no-barkthechosenone2436 Рік тому

      @@rodrigomunoz9217 wouldn’t exactly say that Carmella’s happy. More that she’s accepted that she’s in a shitty toxic relationship with a bad husband since that’s the only way she can make money, as she can’t be bothered to work for a living.
      AJ was manipulated into forgetting his dreams about joining the army into becoming a producer for Carmine Jr., who literally mainly does porn films.
      And Tony is a husk of his season 1-2 self, completely forgetting what it means to be a good man and father. Even though it depresses him, he still clings onto his family for pride

  • @funguy29
    @funguy29 3 роки тому +137

    1:43 To Carmella, Tony’s infidelity is his only misdeed. She’s fine with the rest of it

    • @creepspilla
      @creepspilla 3 роки тому +29

      Absolutely - this is because this is the only aspect that affects her personally. Carmella is fine with what Tony does because from a cultural standpoint, they use their Italian/Sicilian heritage to justify what their "family business" is. She is fine with what Tony does because it affords her a lifestyle she has become accustomed to - home maker, giant mansion, fur coats, jewelry, etc.
      If it weren't for Tony banging hooahs on the side her biggest problem would be chasing after Tony with a suit every time the local cops or FBI drag him away.

    • @funguy29
      @funguy29 3 роки тому +16

      @@creepspilla Yes for all her moralistic BS she views the Law's treatment of Tony and the mafia as "Persecution" (her words).

    • @dimebag6996
      @dimebag6996 3 роки тому +2

      I think Carmela is just totally in denial about the extent of Tony's violent crimes. Her life is a lot easier if she choses to believe the "illegal gambling and whatnot" explanations.

    • @histguy101
      @histguy101 3 роки тому +4

      @@dimebag6996 She's also fairly ignorant of the extent of his crimes, unless she researched mafia history. She's not a Karen Hill.

    • @funguy29
      @funguy29 3 роки тому +2

      @@histguy101 Would knowing about them really make a difference to her ? There is no limit to how much denial one can live with. Everything from an Italian inventing the telephone to discovering America she lives in an echo chamber.

  • @samhurley7258
    @samhurley7258 3 роки тому +169

    I wanted to get some work done today, but I compromised.
    I watched 37 sopranos clips by the radiator instead.

    • @10s-d7j
      @10s-d7j 3 роки тому +6

      "We don't binge watch. It's embarrassing."

    • @stevethomas2285
      @stevethomas2285 3 роки тому +1

      @@10s-d7j Well, if we do, it's not in shorts.

    • @georgevanhoose6333
      @georgevanhoose6333 3 роки тому

      Hey Phil: Were you ever in the can?

  • @robertjohnson1602
    @robertjohnson1602 3 роки тому +61

    This therapist is invaluable. He tells it like it is. Love how he ends it with saying " don't say you haven't been told"

  • @hiiichristinaa371
    @hiiichristinaa371 3 роки тому +101

    This is what I love about The Sopranos: uncompromising. Cooperation with evil is on par with evil. The reference to Crime & Punishment is a killer!

    • @m4cheteaxt109
      @m4cheteaxt109 3 роки тому +16

      Uncompromising? Phil compromised!

    • @hiiichristinaa371
      @hiiichristinaa371 3 роки тому

      @@m4cheteaxt109 Hehe. Yes, but only because he had to!

    • @HammarHeart
      @HammarHeart 3 роки тому +1

      @@m4cheteaxt109 he did 20 fuckin years!

  • @m_recordz
    @m_recordz 12 років тому +161

    This is the best shrink ever.

    • @beastdclxvi5959
      @beastdclxvi5959 3 роки тому +7

      Jewish version of Dr. House!

    • @takerdust
      @takerdust 3 роки тому +5

      @@beastdclxvi5959 Instead of vicodin, he's hittin the Manischewitz.

    • @lucasrackley250
      @lucasrackley250 3 роки тому +9

      America needs more like him. We may not like what he says. But we may thank him later.

  • @clairestark9024
    @clairestark9024 7 років тому +56

    A simple honerable man who said it like it was, all the world ever needed.

  • @az_stan
    @az_stan 3 роки тому +143

    That cameo by "Dr. Krakower" was the sole voice of truth and morality in the entire series. It is fascinating that the entire series portrays the lives of the characters as a vast construct consisting of a complex yet tenuous web of immorality and lies, and it is all concisely exposed and summarized in a single moment of plain unadorned truthfulness.

  • @EKJ313_
    @EKJ313_ 4 роки тому +120

    I wish Dr. Krakower had a recurring role!😂🤣
    Edit: I found out Sully Boyar passed away 2 weeks before this episode aired. RIP DR. KRAKOWER

    • @jordanweller7485
      @jordanweller7485 3 роки тому +3

      I wonder if there was a plan for him to be recurring. Rest In Peace.

    • @danyramza8194
      @danyramza8194 3 роки тому +1

      @James Hagan Watch "In Treatment" from HBO too

    • @beachmasterX
      @beachmasterX 3 роки тому +1

      He shoulda took the money

    • @_zigger_
      @_zigger_ 3 роки тому

      Rest in piss

  • @manny44
    @manny44 14 років тому +74

    Thanks for the upload. This is such a powerful dialogue. "One thing you can never say is that you haven't been told". Straight,no chaser.

  • @nkg___5172
    @nkg___5172 2 місяці тому +7

    2:47 Amazing how he says to take the children, what’s left of them. Rewatching the show from pilot to finale and you realize how much the souls of AJ and Meadow have been slowly eroded away by Tony’s influence.

  • @rebekah518
    @rebekah518 3 роки тому +37

    “One thing you can never say, you haven’t been told.”

  • @slydEvil35
    @slydEvil35 3 роки тому +41

    Crazy how different Melfi’s teachers philosophy was from hers. Tony would have beat the crap out of this guy if he was that blunt and honest.

    • @soloistdeve
      @soloistdeve 2 місяці тому +1

      He wouldn't be this honest with Tony. He'd just flat-out refuse to treat him.

  • @kidddev7792
    @kidddev7792 3 роки тому +43

    “Is that your definition, of a good man?” Always got me weak😂

  • @kolbeinngauti3971
    @kolbeinngauti3971 3 роки тому +110

    Dr : " he's a Goodman , you tell me he is a depressed criminal, prone to anger serially unfaithful, and does not have the makings of a Varsity Athlete.. is that your definition of a good man ?"

  • @MrTony-rx7tk
    @MrTony-rx7tk 3 роки тому +17

    “Take only the children, what’s left of them, and go” Fucking brutal

  • @10s-d7j
    @10s-d7j 3 роки тому +37

    "Probably the least of his mis-deeds."
    Dam! Brutal honesty!

    • @paulgilbert2506
      @paulgilbert2506 3 роки тому +5

      The implied "yet its the one you care about the most" is quite an indictment of her.

    • @10s-d7j
      @10s-d7j 3 роки тому

      @@paulgilbert2506 Well said.

  • @reproshenkaMV
    @reproshenkaMV 3 роки тому +57

    “I’m not charging you, because I don’t take blood money. And you shouldn’t either.”

    • @gigidayz6936
      @gigidayz6936 3 роки тому +1

      SAVAGE!

    • @retroguy9494
      @retroguy9494 3 роки тому +2

      WELL, she could at least take the part of Tony's income that was legitimate. He WAS a waste management consultant at Barone Sanitation. That's not blood money!

    • @stiofanloingsigh351
      @stiofanloingsigh351 3 роки тому

      Get a fucking job, sweetie.

    • @scottmatheson3346
      @scottmatheson3346 3 роки тому +1

      *can't

    • @Elcore
      @Elcore 3 роки тому +2

      @@scottmatheson3346 Good correction - "can't" is the key word. He's not giving her advice on the right or best thing to do; he's saying it's impossible for Carm to continue accepting blood money if she wants to continue to exist as a person, which, given how things go in the final scene, is almost definitely true in one way or another.

  • @slackerZ1
    @slackerZ1 3 роки тому +31

    "probably the least of his crimes." And "how's that going?" Are great.

  • @RodneyDodson
    @RodneyDodson 3 роки тому +31

    The man is brilliant. Gangsters and thugs are not something to be revered for anyone on a spiritual path of enlightenment. They are the spiritually decayed ogres of our world.

  • @angelinahope5460
    @angelinahope5460 3 роки тому +43

    And she never follows the therapist's advice. The comfort of luxury and familiarity of privilege persuades her to stay, thus trapping her like a fly in a clear glass bottle. Brilliant writing

    • @hutch1197
      @hutch1197 3 роки тому +8

      Easier said than done. She was the boss' wife. He would have tracked her down, especially if she took the children. And he would make it his priority in life to destroy her, if not literally, then certainly figuratively. She was never escaping Tony, if she wanted to. So, she figured she may as well milk it for all she could. Not saying I felt sorry for her. She chose that life.

    • @koopasteve
      @koopasteve Рік тому

      Recurring theme in the show, people abandoning an honest, better life, for easy comfort and luxury, and in the end they all pay for it. Tony B, Vito, Carmela.

    • @didncozosksma4466
      @didncozosksma4466 9 місяців тому

      Power enables corruption, wealth and influence is the most difficult drug to sober yourself from. No matter how miserable it makes you, you will never abandon it because your on top, and the view is nice.

  • @InfectedByZanza
    @InfectedByZanza 4 роки тому +68

    Carmella didnt want to go out there and get a real job

    • @sethavery85
      @sethavery85 3 місяці тому +1

      i mean to be honest she didnt have much options. she was a middle aged woman with little education and connections outside of the mob life. she wouldve been stuck working at starbucks at the very best

    • @soloistdeve
      @soloistdeve 2 місяці тому

      @@sethavery85 Wrong. She never wanted an honest life, she's just as bad as Tony. Remember the scenes when she gushes over Tony's power. Fucking him right after she knows he killed somebody. Bevelaqua murder.

  • @El_Crazyknight
    @El_Crazyknight 3 роки тому +45

    As others said, I love that this is a reminder not only to Carmela but to the audience that Tony isn't a hero we should be rooting for but a villain.

  • @reproshenkaMV
    @reproshenkaMV 3 роки тому +81

    I find it very ironic how Carmela actually judged the therapist with assuming about his Jewish beliefs. But then gets offended when he simply states the facts about Tony that she gives him and assumes he’s judging her and her family and status. Like she’s above it all because of the blood money... great scene.

    • @thereaction8648
      @thereaction8648 3 роки тому +5

      I don’t think she’s offended _ just freaked out. As the guy himself implied, she’d never been told before.

    • @reproshenkaMV
      @reproshenkaMV 3 роки тому +3

      That’s just it. She knows what Tony does but is in love with the idea of high status. But blood money is tainted so she’s been exposed. So I can see where I can be both.

  • @rigfordthebarbarian2895
    @rigfordthebarbarian2895 3 роки тому +40

    Carmella tries to pull the deer-in-the-headlights act with this guy, and he just verbally puts her down.

  • @tomsurber2293
    @tomsurber2293 4 роки тому +23

    Breathtaking television. Perhaps one of the best scripted scenes in the history of the medium. Magnificent casting, acting, dialogue, direction and overall execution. Bravo!

    • @mja91352
      @mja91352 3 роки тому

      As you have seen every scripted scene in the history of TV, what would be the second?

  • @mortalclown3812
    @mortalclown3812 3 роки тому +16

    One of the most brilliant scenes in the series. This acting. Props. 🌟🌟🌟

  • @sn9123
    @sn9123 9 років тому +104

    this guy was the best lol

  • @isabellamansfield9961
    @isabellamansfield9961 3 роки тому +19

    most important scene in the series. i love that he tells her tony needs to read crime and punishment. after this she went home and took a nap then let tony buy her dinner. choices!

  • @alexfall1989
    @alexfall1989 4 роки тому +51

    “How’s that going” best bit

  • @troyott2334
    @troyott2334 3 роки тому +33

    This is one of the most powerful and utterly truthful scenes in the entire series.

    • @jgrothou
      @jgrothou 3 роки тому +1

      Carmela is such a fraud.

  • @halfasleepvampire7545
    @halfasleepvampire7545 Рік тому +5

    I had a therapist like this. Not the same context obviously but the same straight forward manner. “What did I just say?” Saved my life.

  • @hoopahtroopah
    @hoopahtroopah 3 роки тому +19

    This is the most professional roast I have ever seen

  • @kathyduby8150
    @kathyduby8150 3 роки тому +23

    Genius writing, brilliant acting, what a series.

  • @freaky_j2207
    @freaky_j2207 3 роки тому +23

    I love when she starts giving the standard BS therapy solutions and he cuts her off. Great scene.

  • @pbot2029
    @pbot2029 3 роки тому +71

    This is the slap of reality that the audience keeps forgetting for some reason. I loved the show but I found all of these characters loathsome, especially Tony. Great actors, great show, but these are not people you'd want to meet in any way shape or form. Maybe that's what makes them so appealing.

    • @djrychlak4443
      @djrychlak4443 3 роки тому +4

      That is beautifully stated. I share that opinion: I love the dance and hate the dancers. They are parasitical killers, liars, torturers, extortionists, thieves that make everyone else's lives damaged.

    • @Marvin-dg8vj
      @Marvin-dg8vj 3 роки тому +2

      But somehow we are made to feel something for these loathsome self deluded people by the quality of the writing and the quality of the acting.
      This is a high level achievement

    • @antoinelachapelle3405
      @antoinelachapelle3405 3 роки тому

      I think it's similar to horror movies in a way. We watch them to feel the thrill of fear without the nasty consequences and trauma of it
      And in the sopranos or many of the classic gangster movies, it's like living vicariously through them, the idea of wealth, power, freedom, the secrecy of it all, the members only club type feeling, being on the margins of the law. It's almost like classic westerns in alot of way.
      Which I think dr Cusamano brings up at some dinner with Melfi actually

    • @mja91352
      @mja91352 3 роки тому

      and maybe that's why we indulge in fiction because we don't want to meet the people in our lives?

  • @lynnefeatonby1693
    @lynnefeatonby1693 3 роки тому +12

    This was one of my all-time favourite scenes. The ultimate in telling hard truths to someone’s face. Just incredible writing and amazing acting.

  • @joshuaizly5502
    @joshuaizly5502 3 роки тому +16

    Notice how she was about to leave when the Dr. said that Tony cheating on her wasn't the worst thing her husband had done. She was expecting validation just like her priest, Furio and her "friends" had given her, not a reality check. At least she stayed long enough to be told what was the right thing to do and acknowledge that she choose herself to be in that toxic lifestyle.

  • @seanmcaddle6121
    @seanmcaddle6121 3 роки тому +20

    The single most powerful seen in the show, hands down. Tony was about the life but in the end so was Carmela. She turned a blind eye for the money, the house, the clothes, the status. She could complain all she wanted but she was along for the ride. The whole meeting with the Dr. all she is worried about is the money. That facts.

    • @Mutasis_Mutandis
      @Mutasis_Mutandis 3 роки тому +2

      I agree with your premise, however will say that you have to have money to live.

  • @donplimo
    @donplimo 8 років тому +16

    This is Season 3, episode 7. Dr. Krakow's character, phenomenal truth in acting!

  • @heavenlywhite5071
    @heavenlywhite5071 3 роки тому +20

    I LOVE......LOVE this scene, the brutal honesty.....the stop the bs way he looked her. He knew she wouldn't leave him

  • @nihaalsandim9986
    @nihaalsandim9986 11 місяців тому +3

    One of the best examples on how to write scenes and dialogues for characters .

  • @oce1989
    @oce1989 3 роки тому +14

    This scene led me to read Crime & Punishment, and it changed me forever.

    • @ChicagoIrishman
      @ChicagoIrishman 3 роки тому +1

      Just wondering, how? Im thinking of reading it myself.

    • @djrychlak4443
      @djrychlak4443 3 роки тому +2

      Fyodor is the real deal. You made a wise choice.

    • @Marvin-dg8vj
      @Marvin-dg8vj 3 роки тому +2

      @@ChicagoIrishman we say sorry and apologize very easily these days .It has become a fashion accessory.

  • @elizabethallen4353
    @elizabethallen4353 3 роки тому +10

    Her breakdown when he says the word "mafia" - what an amazing actress.

    • @Marvin-dg8vj
      @Marvin-dg8vj 3 роки тому +2

      Gandolfini was great but look at the support the series had from the rest of the cast.
      Edie Falco was brilliant.
      I cannot see anything getting close

  • @GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub
    @GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub 3 роки тому +16

    take only the children, what's left of them
    holy shit taking no prisoners

  • @samholder196
    @samholder196 3 роки тому +38

    this is what therapy should be -- brutal, honest, clear.

  • @beautifulassassin7962
    @beautifulassassin7962 3 роки тому +31

    There's something quite beautiful about hearing the absolute truth. It's funny we live in a society that is based upon lies and desire when all we truly want is the wisdom of the ancients and to live a just existence.

  • @willmercury
    @willmercury 3 роки тому +8

    One of the most powerful scenes in the entire series. Brilliant performances.

  • @rusudan9631
    @rusudan9631 3 роки тому +12

    we're all living in denial one way or another and when somebody calls us out on it or tells us we tend to get mad and refuse to see the truth.

    • @mylesasipa1332
      @mylesasipa1332 3 роки тому

      That applies to Carmela. I don't think it's anyone elses place to decide when someone is or isn't ready to confront something.

  • @flightofthebumblebee9529
    @flightofthebumblebee9529 3 роки тому +10

    The way Carmella broke down at the mention of the word "mafia" shows her extreme denial.

  • @carsonkubicki1770
    @carsonkubicki1770 4 роки тому +26

    “How’s that going..?” Bam

  • @josephringling769
    @josephringling769 6 років тому +12

    That man was a great counselor. Last of a dying breed

  • @obiwanfx
    @obiwanfx 3 роки тому +9

    that short one line "how's that going?" cuts deeper than the ocean. For like always, none of the promises, efforts, mindbending or outside influences have changed one single bit about the reality they live in.

  • @Hypestrike1
    @Hypestrike1 2 роки тому +11

    The underlying message: You can't help someone who doesn't want to take responsibility for their situation and help themselves.
    Carmela wanted absolution, not help.

  • @WHR17
    @WHR17 3 роки тому +14

    Brutally honest is an understatement. We all need someone like this in our lives, to tell it to us straight!!!

  • @cshubs
    @cshubs 12 років тому +67

    Tony wasn't a psychopath. He was a sociopath.

    • @tchoupitoulos
      @tchoupitoulos 4 роки тому +14

      He was the boss of that pygmy glorified crew over there.

    • @DanFlashes99
      @DanFlashes99 4 роки тому +17

      Tony was neither of those things. Psychopaths and sociopaths have total disregard for the feelings of others and laws of society, and are incapable of feeling guilt or remorse. They may learn to convincingly act like a real person and display emotions, but they are hollow inside. Tony may be a criminal, but as depicted in the show he has real feelings of love for his family and other people. And while he suppresses and compartmentalizes many of his emotions, he does struggle with guilt...guilt over killing or betraying people, guilt over cheating on Carmela. It's more like he has two sets of rules, those for his criminal organization and those for his role in legit society, such as it is. He doesn't hold civilians to the same set of rules as other mobsters; he has a sense of propriety regarding the separation of those worlds and when it is/isn't appropriate to cross those boundaries. He knows AJ is not at heart the criminal he is, which is why he's truly heartbroken when AJ starts down that path. None of this is to say Tony isn't a murderer, a drain on society and ultimately more bad than good...but what makes the show so compelling is that he is not just those things. Tony and his crew are violent scumbags, yet they also have the same feelings we do for their families, and try to be good parents and, through a certain lens, try to help their community and people close to them. Labeling Tony a psychopath or sociopath is dismissive and shortchanges the complexity of the character, the brilliant writing and Gandolfini's wonderfully layered and nuanced performance.

    • @canguneri8355
      @canguneri8355 3 роки тому +13

      @@DanFlashes99 Yet you are wrong, sociopaths do have a limited, albeit weak, ability to feel empathy and remorse. That's what separates them from psychopaths. And Tony was a sociopath for sure.

    • @wickedwitchoftheeast88
      @wickedwitchoftheeast88 3 роки тому +3

      @@canguneri8355 you're correct. Although sociopaths can lack remorse or empathy just like psychopaths they are also capable of forming emotional attachments to people and animals like Tony does its just depends on the individual and how the disorder manifests with them because there's different models for psychopathy and sociopathy. Sadly on you tube everyone is a fucking psychologist who knows it all 🙄😂

    • @wickedwitchoftheeast88
      @wickedwitchoftheeast88 3 роки тому +3

      @@DanFlashes99 actually it's psychopaths who have no remorse or empathy, you're right that they can certainly fake emotions but they aren't capable of feeling them.
      Sociopaths can form emotional attachments although not all of them do it just depends on the individual and how the disorder manifests within them.
      Psychopath's are born sociopath's are made and molded into what they are. Tony's chaotic and traumatising upbringing molded him into a sociopath where in the criminal world he's done some horrific things to people and has covered it up and felt no guilt at all whereas other stuff does effect him emotionally. As fucked up as this sounds Tony to an extent does have a moral code albeit a massively fucked up one. He has a love and affinity for animals who he sees as innocent and defenceless that's why cruelty to animals upsets and angers him so much that's mostly a sociopathic trait. Also Tony's angry outbursts throughout the series where he flies into a rage like when he beat Ralphie for killing the stripper and then finally killed him for killing the horse was impulsive, sociopaths are more impulsive than a psychopath they act out on their compulsions and have less self control than a psychopath would.
      Psychopath's tend to be highly intelligent, organised and very detail orientated they plan everything meticulously so they make fewer mistakes and can have a massive amount of self control, press a psychopath's buttons and they're more likely to keep it together and turn it round at you because they think like predators and will plan their attack to the last detail before they act. Press a sociopath's buttons and agitate them they will lash out and go on the attack. There's so many hints throughout the series that Tony is a sociopath you just gotta connect the dots.

  • @nathanshippee
    @nathanshippee 3 роки тому +7

    What a fantastic scene. Unbelievable performance by Falco, and I'm blown away by the writing of Dr. Krakower. I love that he says "You must consider leaving him" and not "You must leave him"- he recognizes how Carmella chronically flees from responsibility and doesn't want to leave her any path to avoid the reality that SHE must decide what to do and live with the consequences.

  • @VTown1989
    @VTown1989 3 роки тому +32

    When you're a mob wife who wants to play the "babe in the woods" routine while benefiting from their husband's crimes... but than an old school therapist straight up tells you the reality of the situation. Most just want to feel good about their bad behavior instead of actually fixing the problem.

    • @thee_morpheus
      @thee_morpheus 3 роки тому +1

      He really snatched that hag down from her high horse

  • @christopherng5085
    @christopherng5085 3 роки тому +8

    This dude was absolutely grilling her. “You’re not listening” ahaha . All Carm was thinking about is her own financial safety and company.

  • @rjkessler
    @rjkessler 6 місяців тому +3

    "One thing you can never say...... is that you haven't been told."
    💀

  • @dinitis
    @dinitis 3 роки тому +9

    'Probably the least of his misdeeds' 😂😂😂
    'Enabler would be a more accurate job description -my apologies'
    'How's that going'

  • @SuperGrimupnorth
    @SuperGrimupnorth 6 років тому +24

    Melfi gets you to ask questions about your life. ..this guy actually gave advice

  • @soraya101
    @soraya101 Рік тому +4

    i love the utter mention of the book crime & punishment by dostoevsky. it's a good read to really explore the depths of the psyche. it revolves around the moral dilemma of the protagonist, at some points justifying his actions but then having his actions actually weighs heavily on him to the point he becomes sick. knowing the sopranos though, I doubt they would have ever learned something from it as they kept repeating the cycle they were used to. it's so hard to break away from what you're used to, especially toxicity within your family but they could never stop or try anyway. and after hearing all this, carmella STILL goes back. man I wish I watched this show sooner !

  • @evillink1
    @evillink1 4 роки тому +3

    This guy had no fucks to give. No compromise, no psychobabble, just cut through the shit and tell her what she did not want to hear.

  • @stephent9677
    @stephent9677 3 роки тому +10

    A key scene in the whole series.

  • @halcorley4738
    @halcorley4738 6 місяців тому +1

    One of the great scenes in serial drama. Perfection in writing, direction, acting. And it won Falco the Emmy.

  • @ho2cultcha
    @ho2cultcha 3 роки тому +13

    this is so brilliant! a hard dose of reality amidst a universe of insane justifications.

  • @Hboybatman
    @Hboybatman 3 місяці тому +2

    One of the best scenes in the whole show if not the best, he completely tears down Carmella and the mafia in general with blunt clarity that few other scenes have. Carmella’s biggest problem is her self-pity and it’s why she could never renounce the mafia or Tony. Every time she’s mistreated she turns it into a story about she was personally offended instead of how the mob life destroys everything else around her. Her husband kills their own family, her children are troubled, her friends are miserable, and she doesn’t care about any of it until she finds a broken nail in Tony’s clothes. Even when she tries to leave based on personal grievance she miserably fails and mopes around about how it’s impossible to live on her own anyway.

  • @GordiansKnotHere
    @GordiansKnotHere Рік тому +4

    The good Dr. here is probably the strongest, most ethical character out of everyone on this show.
    Everything he did and said was an example of what people who are looking to life a good
    productive live should do...

  • @stoneharper7038
    @stoneharper7038 3 роки тому +5

    “So enabler would be a more accurate job description for you then accomplice? My apologies”
    Yikes 😳

  • @talkindurinthemovie
    @talkindurinthemovie 11 років тому +435

    Priest always give the worst advice. This guy though..this guy.

    • @עידולם
      @עידולם 7 років тому +7

      smart jew

    • @rayjr62
      @rayjr62 4 роки тому +21

      Played by one absurdly underrated actor, the late Irving "Sully" Boyar. An amazing talent.

    • @foxibot
      @foxibot 4 роки тому +8

      Talkindurinthemovie priest is just as lost as Carmela from what I saw on his clip on YT with his movies and “whiff of sexuality”!

    • @Fochest0r
      @Fochest0r 4 роки тому +4

      I read "This guy though... this guy." in Silvio's voice.

    • @thecancelling2870
      @thecancelling2870 3 роки тому +16

      Totally disagree. I think many priests understand human nature and most have some understanding of psychology. A priest like Carmela has is kinda getting along. When I was 21 and was having a depressive episode and didn't realize it, it was a priest I spoke to and he gave me great advice, which was get help. Go to see a primary doctor and see if they can refer you to a psychiatrist. He understood stress had put my brain in a terrible bind and he had good advice. I thank him for that decades later.