how I knew I had ADHD. (adult diagnosis, women's symptoms, misconceptions, and more.) [PART 1]

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 74

  • @nvnlove
    @nvnlove Рік тому +22

    I almost cried listening to you. This is the story of my life. My daughter has been diagnosed and I have been scared to medicate her. She is about to graduate from high school but at risk of not graduating if she fails algebra. I am struggling on how to help her while dealing with it myself. Big hugs to you.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +2

      thank you for taking the time to listen and respond. navigating adhd can be very difficult and definitely needs to be talked about. I'm glad the video was able to resonate with you. other people's stories (including yours) remind me that none of us are alone dealing with these issues, as we find our own ways to overcome the many obstacles that come with adhd, in a system that doesn't feel like it always has the space for us.
      while none of us may ever be "perfect" (with or without ADHD! lol), having that space of awareness / forgiveness for ourselves (and others) can a great place to start building connection and life practice.
      thank you again, best wishes, and big hugs to you too.

    • @Chimpy_Mc_Gibbon
      @Chimpy_Mc_Gibbon Рік тому +9

      As a doctor with ADHD I can tell you that medication is the answer but that it works best with with the development of skills to organise her mind.

    • @wendyhannan2454
      @wendyhannan2454 Рік тому +2

      This sounds like me, it’s a hard way to live. You grow up feeling different,I hated that. Disorganisation is a killer. Thank goodness there’s help out there, ADHD is becoming more prevalent, and thanks to people like your self coming forward and talking about ADHD, it helps tremendously. Well done, and I wish you nothing but the best. 😉

    • @IshtarNike
      @IshtarNike Рік тому +4

      The medication isn't bad for most people and if you don't like it you can always just stop. Do not let online myths prevent you from doing what's best for your child. Personally I found it to be really helpful.

  • @carolerobbins9522
    @carolerobbins9522 Рік тому +4

    Seriously don’t feel bad about not being diagnosed until adulthood. I’m 42 and I have the hyperactive symptoms and everything. I am a smart person imo, but I never was able to put two and two together until just recently. I developed anxiety trying to mask and “work on myself” to fit in. Everything suddenly makes sense and it’s changed my whole world. I’m glad you were able to find help ❤

  • @Jakhamah
    @Jakhamah Рік тому +6

    Wow... this... thank you so much for your transparency. I'm not a woman.. but I do present I the inattentive side... and I didn't get diagnosed until I was 41. So a loooooot of the failures and not understanding why was a huge part of my life. It's so refreshing to hear this.. thank you.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +2

      it really is amazing how many inattentive people have travelled a similar path, only to really find out how much ADHD affected them… definitely relate. Thank you also!

  • @cgayle92cg
    @cgayle92cg Рік тому +5

    I love this so much. I've been chasing an ADHD diagnosis for about a year. A psych told me it "can't" be ADHD cuz I performed to well on some of the testing. If I'm not interested in something, I can't pay attention though. I had a MAJOR stutter when I was about 5 yrs old, and my speech therapist said "My brain is going to fast for my mouth to keep up" I guess they didn't think it was adhd because I also wasn't bouncing off the walls, especially since I always thought school was interesting so I did decently well in class. I did MASSIVELY struggle with homework and procrastinating as well, and never understood why I couldn't just get stuff done. Now I'm 30, and things haven't changed at all. I have another assessment in April, so I'm hopeful I'll be heard this time.

    • @sperez3275
      @sperez3275 Рік тому

      Find a different doctor or psychiatrist. Get on a nonstinulant first though. Also it looks good, or mine asked me at my diagnosis, if you’re in therapy as well before hand. Also might help just with other things in life as wlll. It helped me. But it looks good like “you’re trying different things” to get it under control.

  • @kaylaschwichtenberg4804
    @kaylaschwichtenberg4804 Рік тому +4

    I had to stay in from recess a few times a month to clean out my desk and locker when I was in elementary school because it was so messy they wouldn’t shut. I couldn’t figure out how other people kept theirs so organized. It sucked being the only one kept in from recess while others got to play. I tried to fit in by watching the other kids but I always felt like I was different like something was wrong with me. I got diagnosed with adhd as a kid in elementary and in middle school had severe depression and then drank and smoked weed in high school and after high school I went to my doctor and asked if I had gotten diagnosed with adhd or if I was just prescribed the meds when I was younger. He said I was diagnosed it was in my chart. I forgot/ don’t remember getting diagnosed. Now I’m back on meds and it’s helping a lot. I wish people would take time to understand adhd and it’s symptoms. It’s a daily struggle. Thank you for your video! Sorry for my over sharing lol 😂

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      yes! there are tons of signs of adhd in childhood & messy desks / backpacks are one of them. it’s also hard internally realizing how different you are from others at that age. this wasn’t oversharing :) - thank you for your response 🤍

    • @wendyhannan2454
      @wendyhannan2454 Рік тому

      Thank you for sharing, no way have you over shared, I loved reading your story, it was very much like my own. ADHD wasn’t heard of in the early 1950s when I was going to school. It was hard and confusing, but somehow I struggled through. I was 75 when first diagnosed, I actually diagnosed myself, then went to a ADHD specialist who listened to my story, and diagnosed me within 20 minutes.🤷‍♀️Thank you Fumi, I’ve subscribed and hope to see more of your videos.

  • @hunterhuntinghunter4948
    @hunterhuntinghunter4948 Рік тому +6

    I was diagnosed a few months ago at 30 and appreciate you putting yourself out there. Your story resonates with me so much. The disorganization and struggle to make peace with a neurotypical world has left me feeling so alone and hearing your story has brought tears to my eyes. Thank you!!!!

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +3

      :,) thanks for sharing. i’d always felt alone with adult adhd but it’s been comforting hearing from others that they’ve experienced similar things that i have. wishing you all the best in this strange, neurotypical universe lol. 🤍

    • @mustangnawt1
      @mustangnawt1 Рік тому

      Was diagnosed at 45 about 7 weeks ago. Still don’t know if I accept and believe it. Thank u for adding to my research phase. Felt really bad when u were feeling like u were a failure and nothing would change that. You’re really not, hope u know that now through and through. Anyway, appreciate u🌸

  • @Brad_Surfs_ILM
    @Brad_Surfs_ILM Рік тому +3

    Word, you described my whole childhood up until now. I’m 41 👀. I had the wrong understanding of ADHD as well. My kid gave me a window into myself and helped me figure out what was really wrong with me by seeing her behavior. I can feel your emotion as my own. Again, thank you for sharing.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      awesome, sometimes we need other people to let us know that we might need help. thank you for sharing, and for watching :)

  • @LevelUpKorean
    @LevelUpKorean Рік тому +4

    Our lives are identical, down to almost each and every detail, lol. It's hard because you're right. If you tell someone, "It's not that I'm not TRYING, it's just incredibly hard," you're told that you're being defeatist and that "if you really want to, you can find a way." It's very invalidating. As far as being disorganized, have you ever cleaned, and then 2 days later looked around the messy room like, "How did this even happen??" lol It's rough out here in these ADHD streets... Loved this video. Thanks for making it. 🙌

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      yes, totally. sometimes it’s hard for people who don’t have ADHD to empathize with people who do, which can definitely add to the struggle of having ADHD in the first place. thanks for watching.

  • @IshtarNike
    @IshtarNike Рік тому +4

    9:03 I got diagnosed recently. I can now see the symptoms in multiple relatives. My brother is a big candidate here. Problem is all the questions are about hyperactivity. I gave him the questionnaire and because he doesn't understand ADHD he answered no in categories where I SEE he's ADHD. This guy can't tell you what he had for breakfast without giving you his life story via 11 different tangents. He's also chronically late, had tonnes of trouble in his career and was unemployed for years. Seemingly all because he couldn't stop procrastinating long enough to actually apply for jobs! But I don't think he'll ever get diagnosed because he's very stubborn and very against any sort of mental health diagnosis.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      Ah, I see. It does also make me curious just how many people out there go about their lives without an ADHD diagnosis! Especially when it could greatly change how they perceive themselves / their lives.

  • @trenkypochcavac
    @trenkypochcavac Рік тому +1

    I dont normally comment but I really like this video, I am not diagnozed but Im just happy to hear someone who struggles with the same problems, it makes me feel less alone, thank you

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      thank you for your comment - I feel the same way in return. thank you for watching.

  • @bw5187
    @bw5187 10 місяців тому +2

    When I was in 4th grade we had an after school conference with the teacher and my parents. The teacher showed us what an "A" students desk looked like, all organised. . . then we went to my desk. . . needless to say. . .it looked like a hurricane just blew through it. The same "A" student of course, made the spelling bee and messed up on the very first word. . .FIREFLY. . . .I was so pissed. . . . I got up and walked out of the room and went to the playground. I was such a good speller. . . .and couldn't believe they picked the "A" student over me.

  • @ladywiththelantern
    @ladywiththelantern Рік тому +3

    I understand. I was diagnosed as a child. I remember that evaluation room. I carried a voice recorder to most of my classes so if I zoned out I would be able to go back and listen to it again. I still needed tutoring after class. Homework and papers took an insane amount of time to complete. All the strict things you were talking about: organizing, data, intricate details, etc are a huge struggle! Even after all that struggle and effort, when I finally got my diploma I felt burnt out and worthless. Therefore, the level I had unlocked of being a graduate felt worthless too. The same thing happened in college. I felt so flawed. So utterly flawed. How could my work be valuable if it was coming from me?

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      completely understand. I feel burnt out often in regular adult life, more than I'd like to admit. self-discipline becomes difficult as well. but I think the very first step for everyone is to talk about it, and accept ourselves as we are first. thank you for sharing -- you are enough exactly as you are. my heart is with you.

    • @ladywiththelantern
      @ladywiththelantern Рік тому +1

      @@fuminyc Thank you. Your phrasing in this video was very illuminating It is really nice when someone gets your struggles.

  • @IshtarNike
    @IshtarNike Рік тому +1

    3:10 this is a big one for me. In any field where I'm not immediately good, like my current job, I make the same mistake over and over. I was lucky because at school almost all the subjects fit my interests. Now at work nothing is like that and I find I'm actually pretty bad at most jobs😢 A big part of that is continuing to make silly mistakes despite knowing I shouldn't.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      It’s human / natural to make mistakes :) but I hear you though; it can be very hard to avoid mistakes when adhd is messing with your external functioning. if it makes you feel better, I’m also pretty bad at most jobs! Lol. I often have to try and brainstorm new ways to make money in order to survive; hoping UA-cam will come around so I may no longer have to keep messing up in traditional work settings, lol!

  • @michelleryan1771
    @michelleryan1771 Рік тому +1

    Omg it was like hearing myself. I'm 52 and live in the UK and I'm awaiting an ADHD assessment which is free thanks to our wonderful nhs. I've struggled with all the things you have all my life and now I finally understand why. Thank you so much for sharing your story and being so honest xx

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      wow, so great to hear. there’s definitely so much more to life than how ADHD affects us. thank you for sharing & for watching :)

  • @Kat-V
    @Kat-V 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for this video, we had a very similar childhood. I'll come back to rewatch this next time I'm doubting my diagnosis again. I got diagnosed at 25 but my journey to get medication is still ongoing (because I waited to start getting help two months before I'm leaving the country(((((((: great)

  • @alvaronavarro4890
    @alvaronavarro4890 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for acknowledging how long the diagnosis process actually is. I’m just starting and I’ve been quickly dismissed twice by doctors. I was ready to give up, but people like you remind me that it’s worth trying.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      oh man, so glad to hear you're gonna keep trying. The process can be totally discouraging. Like I mentioned, it took me YEARS to get the help I was looking for -- and even when I was finally prescribed medications, I'd say it took me about half a year to get fully used to the daily routine of just actually taking my medications daily and monitoring how I felt on them (to give feedback to my provider to adjust for the ideal dose). The process is long but in my experience, more than worth it. Rooting for you friend!! Best of luck!

  • @FuzionBranz
    @FuzionBranz Рік тому +1

    23 year old male here and it’s scary how much I related to all of your points. Have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to talk about it

  • @johneaston6523
    @johneaston6523 5 місяців тому

    Love your transparency, grit, and courage. Just found my lost phone in the fridge, BTW.
    Yup, heard and still hear the, "everyone struggles with...fill in the blank " But not every time you need to do..fill in the blank". The frequency and severity of the behaviors and the fact that they are not under voluntary control distinguish ADHD from the normie experience.
    It is people like you who are making the world a safer and better place for ADHDers. Keep doing your thing! Oh, and ChatGPT saved my life!

  • @jroyale2127
    @jroyale2127 Рік тому

    Thank you for creating a channel. This was such a helpful video. I’m a 43 y/o mother of two teens and recently diagnosed with ADHD. I am also (part) Asian so it is nice to see an Asian person with a channel talking about this stuff. Growing up, ADHD wasn’t a thing that girls were known to have. Like you said it’s always been looked at as a disorder in hyper little boys. Additionally, with Asian parents, there are often a set of expectations you must live up to, so there was “no question” that we couldn’t handle life just as well as the next kid. I resonate with so much of what you have said. My 13 y/o was diagnosed with ADHD at age 6. He was a chatter box and extremely inattentive in class. Since he started stimulant medication it has changed his life. I too am inattentive and my working memory is awful. I had developed coping skills over the years like keeping a strict agenda and writing everything down so I don’t forget. It has been difficult not knowing why things were so much harder and took so much longer for me than for others and at times questioning if this was how everyone functioned or was I just the odd one. It wasn’t until recent years and the stress of raising a family that I noticed my coping skills weren’t enough and everyone around me was continuing to higher education while for me the thought of even more studying and reading and school is extremely overwhelming. I started to question how everyone else could do so much and I couldn’t. My diagnosis has explained everything for me. I see a therapist weekly now and my psychiatrist just started me on straterra. I haven’t noticed a change yet, and actually kinda feel worse and brain foggy, but we r only three weeks in. I will give it a few more weeks before seeing if i need a new med or adjustment. Wow, this was a long post - did I mention rambling on and oversharing is one of my superpowers 🤦🏽‍♀️ 😂 anyways, thanks so much this video. I just subscribed and look forward to more content.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      thank you for sharing.

  • @ianmeli379
    @ianmeli379 8 місяців тому

    Amazing video. Particularly resonating with your description of not feeling connected to the typical description of traits of ADHD. As an adult trying to come to grips with my executive function disorder, or ADHD, or whatever it is, I have experienced the same thing. Thank you

  • @avonmouth19
    @avonmouth19 Рік тому +2

    I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 64. All my life I was wondering why I’ve been like this. Loosing a lot of my things, very forgetful, I couldn’t keep still. I am not very good at listening to what people say, and I always get criticized as weird, scattered brain, etc. I know exactly where you coming from. I have exactly the same problem. But I never felt insecure because I always excelled in everything I put my mind into. I became a successful business woman and managed to retired at the age of 60. Rather proud of myself because, even though I knew something is not quite right with me, I did well in life. Now I just laugh about it and tell myself, oh, so now I know why you are weird😂

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      This is beautiful and so inspirational - I’d like to be successful in business also. Thank you for sharing!!

  • @mizzyabas8768
    @mizzyabas8768 Рік тому +2

    this story almost matches with mine.
    Because that i am a male, i was ruled out of having ADHD since im not hyper/destructive in school. People just seem to think im lazy/ungrateful/stupid etc. It also doesnt help that my mom tried to "fix" me via witch doctors.Lol
    Its only after dropping out of college twice and failing work 3 times, I finally gotten the inattentive ADHD diagnose...
    Thanks for sharing, its nice to feel not alone.:)

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      of course. we're about the same age and probably have a few parallels in our life stories. it's really unfortunate how much ADHD causes people to judge our characters and personalities, when really, a lot of it is ADHD :( best of luck, and thanks for sharing!

  • @applebloomful
    @applebloomful Рік тому +1

    so much of this resonated with me, it's making me emotional :') thanks for sharing your story! it sounds a bit like mine!

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      yes!! you're not alone :) thanks for watching!

  • @AK-vx4dy
    @AK-vx4dy Рік тому

    @11:00 the same!! In last year of electronics when we do diploma work i go to school but instead of normal lessons i go to labs and soilder, measure etc until some one said he had to close lab...

  • @rachelsanders2314
    @rachelsanders2314 Рік тому

    So helpful…thanks for sharing!

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      glad you found it helpful, thanks for watching Rachel!

  • @TapiTTwala
    @TapiTTwala 2 місяці тому

    You have helped me!

  • @ten25.
    @ten25. 5 місяців тому

    I relate to this so much

  • @billybilodeau1991
    @billybilodeau1991 Рік тому

    Yeah I’m just learning I have adhd, as a 43yr old man lol. I still feel like a kid because of my adhd, the inability to focus on everything day things easily. Always being disorganized, feeling like cleaning my room or apartment feels like lifting a locomotive, mentally, but I’d do hard things at work that no one else wanted to do and do it well because it interested me. It’s also hard to set goals. This year my goal is to have goals lol, even small ones.
    The reason why I’m writing this is in part because of the ADHD thing, which is important but also your double peace sign at the end. I’m American, grew up in the US all my life but I’ve sorta gotten into British culture a bit and have learned that doing a peace sign with your palm facing inward is equal flipping someone the “bird”. Which is a bit of a pun because is sorta equal opportunity; middle finger~dick “fuck you”, inward palm facing peace sign~vagina “fuck you” lol. The pun i made, “flipping someone the bird”, is because “bird” is slang for woman. Will Smith throwing the “peace sign” to the aliens in “Independence Day” was really him flipping them off lol.
    It made me laugh and thought I’d mention it here. Keep doing it, it’s great either way!
    ….another sign of ADHD, over sharing lol

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому +1

      lol but even the peace sign on emojis has the palm facing forward! ✌️
      anyway, yes, cleaning and organizing feels like such a hassle. I guess anything we don’t really want to do with ADHD feels like such a hassle.

  • @chaim6768
    @chaim6768 6 місяців тому

    Are you doing better on medication? What is your passion (need to find that for work)? Have you tried/do you recommend an executive function coach?

  • @johnmoore1495
    @johnmoore1495 Рік тому +2

    I think in general quiet/well behaved people with ADHD get missed. That tends to be women more than men. However there are still men like myself who were missed. Instead I was unsuccessfully treated for “anxiety and depression” from 15 to 25 years old and I basically lost those 10 years of my life.
    Even now my doctor still is hesitant about stimulants so I’m on atomoxetine and bupropion. They don’t seem to help much besides make me sweat more lol.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      Ah, I'm on 60mg of Atomoxetine and it's been helping me personally. I hear you though, I think ADHD is easy to misdiagnose, or often coexists with other mental health conditions that will be diagnosed before ADHD.

    • @johnmoore1495
      @johnmoore1495 Рік тому +2

      @@fuminyc my biggest symptom has always been lack of motivation. Which they always blamed on depression, but 90% of the time I’m not sad. And the 10% of the time I am actually depressed it’s because I’ve gone no where in life due to the lack of motivation lol.

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      ​@@johnmoore1495 I've struggled with motivation also, especially in my recent adult life, so I can definitely relate. It's also already hard enough to find motivation when executive functions can be extremely difficult for people with ADHD.

  • @NAlvazaz
    @NAlvazaz Рік тому +2

    We need fun videos and wooden ADHD videos (the academic ones) bore me to sleep or make me space out. At my age I'm supposed to act my age but i don't. 😂

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      hahaha def can relate!!

  • @shimaalcarrim7949
    @shimaalcarrim7949 Рік тому

    Dude this was me

  • @memezaprojectsgroup605
    @memezaprojectsgroup605 Рік тому

    The emotional toll.

  • @memezaprojectsgroup605
    @memezaprojectsgroup605 Рік тому

    Hello. Are you on treatment yet?

    • @fuminyc
      @fuminyc  Рік тому

      Yep! I'm on 60mg Strattera.

    • @treepark7796
      @treepark7796 4 місяці тому

      Is it working well?

  • @memezaprojectsgroup605
    @memezaprojectsgroup605 Рік тому

    Oops! Commenting logged in with my business account cause i dont pay attention to that. Very disorganized