A Conversation on Communication | ENFJ/ESFP/ISFP/INFP/ISTP
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- This past Sunday, I had a conversation with a few friends on communication and when to bring things up that I found to be incredibly enlightening. Here is a recap of how things went down, what was said, and if relevant, what personality type everyone was. I hope it helps some of you and please comment your thoughts!
#16personalities #lifecoach #relationships
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I am an INFP female and i can tell that i am so bad with hints 😂😂 I really love it when things are being told directly, it just gives me a sense of authenticity.
I see myself for example telling to my INFJ sister (because she loves singing so much), when i'm feeling moody "Gosh, can you stop singing that's annoying" and other days i'm singing with her and enjoying the moment lol. I think that for Fi users, it is more about expressing how we feel about something in the moment... Expressing frustration or disagreement is often a way for us to be authentic and feel heard and understood. It's not necessarily about wanting to immediately solve the problem or change the situation, but more about expressing our emotions and being true to ourselves. 😊
🤯 ohhh….this makes sense. I mean, it sorta doesn’t, lol but it does! Like cause moods themselves are inconsistent. So yeah, with examples like that, I get it. Hmm. Wow, thank you for that! This helps
@@DeezyRYG Haha... My pleasure! Glad this helped! ^^
INFP - Fi-Fe mixups are the hardest for me to wrap my head around.
I do love the way you explained how you feel with criticism. I don't think that way. I think just telling us how you did on this video with such respect will have our Fi brain take a sharp turn and add it to our "human experience" file in our head. It did for me.
The Fi types said perfectly what all Fi think: don’t be fake. More than anything else, we're about authenticity. Don't change, just be you. Your wife fell in love with the you who had "flaws". Hopefully, this video or you telling her how you perceive things help both of you.
I opened this video knowing it was going to be juicy, and I'm cracking up. This is literally every Fi-Fe conflict ever.
😂😂😂 okay so you agree that this is indeed an Fi/Te versus Fe/Ti issue?
@DeezyRYG yup, absolutely. I felt like I was listening to a replay of every disagreement I've ever had with FJs.
Also, my INFP friend and her ENFJ boyfriend have had a lot of "communication issues" despite loving each other very much...now I feel amusingly certain of what they are :D
@@jocelynleung7480 haha this is sooo amusing! Thanks for this information. I wanna keep it in mind to work on what can be worked on
I'm a FP and don't typically do this. I don't find it to be healthy to express your feelings like that.
What I'm hearing is that they wish to point to out their grievances with others (and you) without there needing to be a change. It seems like they are addressing their emotions by pushing them onto you without a permanent solution to the underlying issue-your annoying behaviour. It's short-term relief through expressing those emotions.
I think this is both unhealthy for them and the frustrating perpetrator. They are not doing themselves any favors by putting themselves in a position where they are consistently annoyed; they are not doing you any favor by making you hear their qualms.
It seems like your INFP friend does want you to change but is instead settling for an inferior alternative where she blows off her steam whenever it gets too heated.
At min 8:50 i think you hint acceptance. You accept the present version of the person until they grow let's say. That reminds me of what my 9 esfj dad frequently says to my mum: "Accept them as they are" or you'll suffer for what they do.
He stuffs so many things, he waits on the other person or waits on God to act at his time and that helps him.
I have to say that i have an 9 uncle who sotimetimes talks a lot and doesn't stop until he fully explains his point.
Maybe it depends if the thing is blurry and needs long explanation, or you are in a group and others don't get equal time to talk.
I don't know if it's a fe thing but I'm an 4 enfj and maybe what bothers you is wasting time' supposedly on something not meaningful 4, maybe for you as a 9 that disrupts" harmony" + enfj thinking like that. Maybe fearing that argument would threaten the connection...
Unless you see it as a way of attending to their needs, to do something or reach an agreement.
The unhealthy would be long periods of "i isolate bc i hurt you or i think I'm bad for you". But if they appreciate u they'll stick around or you'll find someone.
Maybe the infp feels frustrated with themselves and other situations and/or think you are oblivious to something, or they have low self-steem
And the esfp feels trapped, frustrated as well with a goal of them and one doesn't seem to be on track towards that? they feel little love
(Maybe love languages(?)
Idk based on my experiences with females friends as a female.
We're complex😅
As a ENFJ-T myself. Im very open, but their are definitely subjects i dont want to talk about or bring up. Especially if i know it will affect others, or im overly sensitive on something. I have been known to not think before talking from time to time. Aka speaking my mind. And end up hurting others feelings unintentionally.
I am passive aggressive sometimes. I dont like conflict, but there are times where id like to hint at someone im upset. Then later on, if something happens one to many times i dont like, my patience wears thin and i explode. Ive had a few occurrences with family and friends where i couldnt take harassing/nagging or mention of something over n over when someone is trying to justify someones bad behavior. I exploded. I spoke my mind, and everyone in my family and friends became very quiet, and i never had it happen again. So whatever i said struck a cord i had enough. Because im known to be very mellow and happy. 😂 Ive gotten so mad when i explode that people stepped away from me and said i looked like i was gonna murder em. Which made me laugh later my bff told me that cause she knows id never hurt anyone.
I noticed when I am direct or decide to try to be, things work out. Still don't like being direct tho. I worry to much bout others feelings
Hahaha oh interesting! I love this feedback. Very interesting, thank you! When you say you speak without thinking at times and hurt feelings, is that only when you’re upset? Or in general?
And you might find this video I did some years back interesting haha…
ua-cam.com/video/cKj68SivBXA/v-deo.htmlsi=3QRgdwNNRnZWKXIc
@@DeezyRYG Not in general. I think it is when I'm upset now that u mention it. Or at least stressed/tired. Either way, still something I've had to work on since I was a kid.
@@XxBrittany20xX haha okay gotcha! Yeah that makes sense. Cause your Fe is burned out and your Ti now comes out lashing.
@@DeezyRYG ohhhh definitely. After I've said hurtful things I've felt bad for it. Especially to my INFJ-T bff. We have been friends since I was 9. I'm now 32. And she is 16 years older then me. So we have that close bond of reading each other and also annoying one another on our differences.
@@DeezyRYGcould also be reaction from my past. I was a family scapegoat in a narcissist family. So I have alot of trauma I've had to deal with. And those fight or flight responses sometimes kick in. Even when there is nothing to lash out about. My emotions kick in. I've even had many crying moments. Usually when i start to get irritated or upset, I like to go hide and calm down so I can think straight again. Reflect on myself and the situation. I've always been a emotional person and feel things and people very deeply. A friend even mentioned to me my reaction is so deep that I was most likely a empath. Because she was one and noticed I had many empathic traits.
I do agree with u also on accepting people for things u know they can't change and just deal with it. Lol. 😂
Lol I love the Cardi B & Lauryn Hill reactions. Also relate to your logic 1000% 🫠why bring it up if it’s not going to be addressed or changed?
I’m glad you feel meee! Lol just confirming, what is your type again?
i agree more with your way of thinking, i tend to not be upfront with people about the way they act if it bothers me (because i'm a bit afraid of conflict lol) so when i do speak up it's because it really got me on ma nerves yk? so i do expect a change of behavior or something like that. for me it's kinda weird to think someone would just point out a thing they don't expect any change or whatever im still trynna grasp this information lol
Hahaha! This is helpful. Thanks! Perhaps even though it is a pattern, there are quite a few FPs who also can’t grasp it or operate that way for different reasons.
Denzel Bro I need your help. Do you know how MBTI types work with attachment styles? I think I know ENFJ that is dissmisive avoidant. Some things overlap, but others are kind of shut down idk.
Ahh, I did do a video or two on attachment styles, but I can’t say for sure what the combinations and patterns might be except for a few. Like INTJ tends to be avoidant. INFP tend to be anxious. ENFJ? Hard to tell…I can see all of them..
@@DeezyRYG I see INFP being anxious yeah