This is Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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- Опубліковано 1 бер 2014
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Narcissist? Who me? Naa. I'm perfect.
BRUH
that's what all narc. say lol.
lmao
😂 I CANT
Same
UA-cam's comment section; the only place where everyone is a Dr.
No, someone needs unpayable medical school debt to be trusted
Everyone is trying to free themselves from this by learning and thru support and the long time experienced,some 30+ yes, can make them experts. I have a chronic but deadly disease, I'm better off in the hands of a doc who has it or has been around patients who had it for 20+ YEARS.
One informs the other or we wouldn't need test subjects. PREACH,TEACH, and SPEAK pple.The other option is..What!?
You can't do ANYTHING w silence.
No I'm no Dr. But I don't have to be. I learned from sad experience and I'm just trying to help others to protect themselves
Exactly .Fake doctors mislead the public with misinformation.Some coaching figures are sugar coating the Narcs and misleading the public.
My hat is off to anybody who has NPD and is seeking therapy to get healthier, mostly those with this disorder never seek help because they cannot see past their own needs and lack of empathy to do so and will never truthfully realise what they are or how horrifically their behaviour can effect those around them. They are trapped in a hall of mirrors with no way out, my tip do not get trapped in there with them and if you do find a way out asap even if that means cutting them off for a while or forever. Of course we can have empathy and hope they will be ok maybe even try to help them get help. But bottom line is if your vulnerable and needing help yourself your only hope is to get your own mental health looked after 1st. I was brought up by an NPD mother and abused both emotionally and psychological my entire childhood. Those with NPD are not monsters they are suffering and what they do they do because they are compelled to do it just like breathing. But what you must do is protect yourself because those with NPD can be very dangerous to be around and if you are vulnerable or naive to their NPD motivations/needs you will be in big trouble. My strategy in life now is to be very aware of the signs of abusive behaviour in everyone I meet and I have a 3 stricks your out rule. If I see them display abusive behavior towards me on 3 separate occasions I put up a healthy reasonable boundary and if they are an abusive person you will see them try to immediatly break through or over step that boundary......it's a big red flag. At that point I move on with my life and leave them behind, there are billions of people on this planet I will find someone better to be my friend etc :) I do not have to settle for abuse, abuse is not something I have to fix for them, it is not my fault, I have a right to live my life without abuse.....we all do♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
You are very wise. My advice is, run don't walk!
I like that this was aimed at the actual narcissists. I see a lot of content telling people to stay away from these human "monsters" and not a lot of content on how to get treatment on an issue that can become very toxic even to the narcissist. I think you're awesome for doing this video and taking the condition with the same seriousness and care that you would with an eating disorder or depression. You inspire me to become a therapist one day!
+Sara Kjeldsen Yeah, agreed. It feels messed up.
NPD maybe different compared to depression and eating disorder because they wont admit it. They cant be treated.
NPD CAN BE TREATED. STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION
Well the thing is that for a lot of people, depression and BPD is the medical help term for NPD. BPD the focus is on the state of mind and condition of the mentally ill person and it is the 'reach out and support your neighbor' term. The symptoms o both NPD and BPD, for a lot of people, are indiscernible. The delusions of grandeur, mood swings, poor object constancy, overbearing nature. In New Zealand we had a 'biggest barrier to recovery is discrimination' campaign for BPD. the word 'Narcissist' is the unforgiving, GET OUT OF MY LIFE term. When the manic depressive manages to break the camels back. The focus of an NPD diagnostic is on the victim, not the condition of the mentally ill person, and it is a far less sympathetic term.
FunzyClown really that's not difficult, it's giving up control that is difficult. If you don't trust anyone or are able to give up control to someone else then it just turns into a power game.
I'm also a narcissist. I was raised by one, and the best advice I can give is just to stay away from us. I enjoy arguing with people, so if you don't enjoy that, like most rational people do, then just stay away, and don't give into our need for adulation, praise, etc. It's very toxic.
I think my boyfriend has NPD but it was said by psychologists he's bipolar he certainly loves to start arguments and seems to lack empathy unless he's gaining from it in some way even worse he thinks he's okay
***** What would you like to know?
Hopefully my best friend doesn’t turn out to be a narcissist because her dad is one
My mom called me one but literally I don’t see it because I literally don’t like myself my mom seems to fit it more
@@fandomtrash6029 I've often heard that narcissists deep down are self loathing.
Thank you for making a video about this that isn't just "all narcissists are evil abusers and you should hate them"
I have 2 N.P.D. parents, was married to one, engaged to one and recently had an N.P.D. boyfriend. If you ever get involved with an N.P.D., trust me, you'll understand them. All N.P.D.'s lack empathy. It has been scientifically proven with brain scans. An N.P.D. will never ask for help unless it serves them and makes them look good. When an N.P.D. shows up in therapy they are such good con artists and have, by this time, completely emotionally and spiritually decimated their victim, the therapist getting awful information like this one has, will side with the N.P.D. They are master actors and have one face at home with the victim and a completely different face in public.
We shouldn't hate narcissistic but proceed with caution. And work on ourselves so that we are less likely to be victimized.
@@justjosie8963 exactly. Love your self and protect yourself first before helping some one abusive .none deserves to be hated. Have precautions when you put your life at risk while serving others. Twisted NARC mind needs to destroy others in order for its own existence .That's is the problem we have here without proper solution. Set boundaries and then help.
I don't think we should hate them, just steer clear for our own wellbeing. We can love from a distance.
Yeah. As a narcissist Im not bad. People are always scared by the fact I’m a Narcissist they don’t get to know my personality. Not that I’m broken up about it. But they are missing out on what could be a very fun time.
Wouldn't most narcissists deny that they're narcissists and not bother to watch this video?
***** although, to be fair, I'm sure a lot of the people who abused us emotionally/ physically/ sexually would qualify
bookcreator I agree. My dad is definitely a narcissist and I think that fuels his abuse
Not all of us. Some of us didn't know until last weekend.....
It's so refreshing that you haven't 'demonized' people with NPD as so many other therapists and mental health professionals have.
It's because those people feel personally victimized by them, rather than trying to work out the problem like anything else, they will view them as a threat. That is the opposite of a what a therapist's reaction to any mental health issue should be, but a lot of people in the public view narcissistic personality disorder that way.
I know that people with NPD, I believe the disorder as well, aren't normal people, but from a perspective, it's just like any other disorder and I also wish it wasn't thought of as bad. It sounds crazy to feel bad for even a murder, but what if they're living with "demons" for what they've done? I live with that despite my need for the narcassistic supply and ironically I need people in my life to console me to hopefully one day put out the flame of knowing my life fate.
they should they know what they are doing and enjoy and have studied for mny years and have suffered this abuse and even stalked by them trying to get away from them, i think these people dont want help they want power, so i started knocking them out, perfect now they kiss my ^ft "in 16 stone gym body
Because narcissists are demons. They have demonic characteristics such as no empathy. Their actions are demonic & they have a Jezebel spirit. Their actions are evil & they are soul hunters. They seek out compassionate people to use them, steal their qualities, steal their joy etc & to kill. Many narcissists such as malignant narcissists have committed murders I.e. Ted Bundy was a malignant narcissist. Or they drive people to suicide. Do more research & honestly if you’ve never been in a close relationship with a narcissist you should have little to nothing to say at all. They are possessed by demons & there’s RARE success is actually “curing” the disorder
yea because they are demons in human flesh.....from that comment i guess you have not been exploited for your financial resources, gaslighted, cheated on with people in your social circles , humiliated, discarded and replaced with someone with better options. And most think theres nothing wrong with them because the problem is with the victim. how dare anyone demonise them.
Kati, your use of "we" statements is such a small but amazing detail!
she's a narc lol, but yeah it's interesting watching a narc therapist explaining her own disorder
@@srolesen how do u know? Is she diagnosed
@@srolesen so she have every disorder ? Because she does the same with ADHD, BPD etc
Thank you for not portraying this disorder as evil. So much misinformation has been spread directly linking abuse to NPD. It makes me feel even more like I can never be happy with who I am or tell anyone without being branded as a monster
Gamerbids ...that word, evil, causes most all of the dysfunction in our world! Think about it. Religion sets the perfect stage for narcissism. One is taught, there's the *saved* and the *unsaved* ...the *lost* and the *found* . That they are *special* . Yet, desensitized by being taught to be okay that one will be in a place called heaven vs. fam/friends (who weren't religious) will 🔥 *burn* 🔥 for eternity.👎🏽 Sounds awfully close to how a Narcissist operates... *My way or you'll suffer!*
If you think you're an N.P.D. you're not. N.P.D.'s have no empathy at all and it's proven by brain scans. Since you are concerned in the least bit about something defective in you or worried you have a problem - that requires EMPATHY. That proves you are not N.P.D. I don't know what you have, but the video above and the descriptions from the mental health field are frightening compared to what a real N.P.D. is. I have 2 N.P.D. parents, 1 sister (the other is Empath like me), been married to one, been engaged to another, and last year for a brief time had an N.P.D. boyfriend. None of these people including my mother on her deathbed who treated me like Judge Judy on steroids, used gaslighting, coercion, double bind, trauma bonding and everything else an N.P.D. uses - on her deathbed for 2 months while myself and dad took care of her around the clock - not one time did she say 'I love you' or 'I'm sorry for yelling at you non stop - especially when you had to move in with us because of a debilitating Autoimmune Disease..'' Nothing. zip. ZERO conscience. Zero empathy. N.P.D.'s are always abusive. Their only goal is to find a victim, somehow get them to trust them, and then systematically tear them apart and suck the energy out of them. I don't know who told you you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but the very fact you are concerned you are being 'portrayed as a monster' proves you are not. If you were N.P.D. you wouldn't give a flip what anyone thought about you. An N.P.D. is not just someone who is self absorbed. An N.P.D. is a predator without feelings. Like an alligator. If this makes you upset, again, that proves you have empathy - and it has been scientifically proven with brain scans that N.P.D.'s do not possess empathy - if they did possess it then it would show up on the brain scan... it would light up. A person with no empathy doesn't have a conscience. There is absolutely nothing to appeal to. This is the reality of N.P.D. They are Jekyll and Hydes. N.P.D.'s are predictable and once you know them, you can start to spot them. You are not an N.P.D. Your empathy and concern prove that.
Demelza Poldark I agree with all of what you said.
@@demelzapoldark3035 do you know what empathy even is?? I'm professionally diagnosed with NPD and your mindsent of "mentally ill people cant understand my emotions so obviously theyre emotionless animals with no conscience" is disgusting. People with NPD are human beings, im truely so sorry youve had those experiences but you yourself are showing an appalling lack of compassion in this comment for someone who calls themselves an empath.
Some of you people need to watch the documentary of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, where they interview people diagnosed with the mental illness. People with this disorder can realize there is something wrong with them, they aren't stupid. You don't know whether they would want help or not.
This comment section has become validation for them - they either aren't NPD or aren't that bad. Many of those seeking "help" are seeking "attention" and/or will quickly lose interest when it requires sacrifice. Or will use therapy against others in a variety of ways. There is such a level of ignorance towards these individuals and this comment section really shines a light on that.
In other words, I completely agree. They can be self aware and using that as a diagnostic tool to remove the possibility of a NPD diagnosis is foolish.
There is a slew of other mental health issues that comes along with Narcissistic personality disorder such as anxiety disorders, attachment disorders, and of course acute depression that comes with Narcissistic injuries.
How can i find this documentary?
What is difficult about NPD is the negative stigma associated with this personality disorder. All videos or articles I've seen are mainly targeted toward the people that live with someone with NPD. These are great videos. Thank you for making them unbiased. The issue is that the comments are always full of people putting down the person with NPD or any other PD. It's a very unwelcoming environment for those that might be concerned they have NPD and want to talk about it.
I feel that I have NPD and am a covert narcissist. This is something that I would never have considered - ever. After time has gone on and I realized my life had major issues I started becoming very self-aware and I started digging deeper into my TRUE feelings. I would feel strange anger in situations that shouldn't have made me angry and I'd evaluate the cause behind that anger. I started seeing different things about myself that made me sick to my stomach. I don't want to be this way, but I know in my core I have NPD. Every time I'm with another person I remind myself to focus on them and to be happy for them, even when I don't feel that way. I'm trying to be open to others' opinions and trying to remember that they can have struggles too and it's not a threat to me. The issue is I need counselling on this. I brought this up to my therapist and she seriously laughed (like it was oh so cute of me to think this) and said there is no way I have NPD because most people never find out they have NPD and she would have gotten a feeling from me if I had it. It made me upset that a mental health professional made a snap judgment after 2 minutes because she didn't get a feeling from me. Especially after being told for 2 years that I can't rely on my feelings lol. I don't know how to find a therapist that will genuinely listen to me. I want to improve. I'm not a monster like many may think. I have a struggle and I want to get better. It's better than the alternative.
Randi Dash exactly, i struggle with this yet people still attack me even though I want to get help because I don't want to hurt others. It's almost like we don't deserve to get better.. why are people like this?!😭😭
Keep in mind that non-aggressive narc traits may be shared with those of Asperger's, so that it worthy of distinguishing. I have not met a narc that wasn't abusive. Obviously my sample is small...
you may have narcissistic personality triats but not the actual personality disorder.
I believe that's the main issue, I don't believe you guys have a severe NPD... you are admitting and you are actually thinking about what you did and acknowledging that you have a problem. The problem is that psychologists deal a lot with people who unfortunately dealt with a patient who was involved in a relationship with NPD untreated. It is a really difficult disorder to deal with, but they are the professionals, they should keep neutral about diagnosis. In any case, it is youtube, the worse they make it look, the more viewers they get. I strongly believe I have BPD, the quiet type and even we get this awful videos about the kind of monsters we are.... especially for people who have no title and give "coaching" and making videos as if they were professionals.
@@amyvictoriab hey I don't know if you will ever see this but I just wanted to ask you a question, because I was recently told by someone " you don't know how horrible I am. I don't want to hurt you." And I thought in my mind "well if they don't want to hurt me, they won't hurt me, right? They'll do what they can to avoid hurting me..." but then the person slept with me, and then another person, told me that they were moving out of the country in a week (and i asked them literally 10 minutes before we slept together if they were going anywhere any time soon, because they travel a lot) they told me they loved me, and then they got into a relationship with the other person... but it made me think "they could have avoided all of this by not being affectionate with me, not letting me think there was a possibility of a future, telling me they were going away before we got intimate, (which is something I wouldn't have wanted to do if I'd known they were moving,) not telling me they loved me, not getting into a relationship with someone else or sleeping with someone else... there were so many occasions the person could have thought "if I do this, it's going to seriously hurt this person I care about, and I don't want to do that, so I'd better avoid doing that" and yet they did those things anyway, seemingly knowing it would hurt me, because they warned me. (And probably, by warning me, they have absolved themselves of responsibility, and can pass blame onto me for not protecting myself...)
I'm sorry if it sounds like an attack but it's not; I'm genuinely interested in finding out what makes it so difficult to avoid doing things which may hurt a person, if you don't want to hurt them. So that's my question, I guess: what is it that happens for you between the "I don't want to hurt you" and the act of hurting the person?
I think my father has a narcissistic personality disorder. He wouldn't go to a therapist of course because apparently that's for weak persons and he is the strongest man on earth. I am alomost certain that he would be diagnosed with it. I suffered not only physical but also emotional abuse by him for my whole live. He is one of the main reasons why I am in therapy. I can understand, though, that it's hard for people that suffer from it and know that they are treating others unfair.
Are you sure NPD and not ASPD?
you just described my life. I'm a only child so I was easily overlooked since I've always been so independent
My father to a T
They all think they strong,but they weak inside
sending you love that isn't easy. You're so strong
Funny most people on these message boards seem to have been victimized by a narcissist at some point. Kati is clearly trying to help narcissists and as a narcissist myself help is hard to find. No one wants to help a group that is for the most part hated and despised.
It's also suggested that in some case the therapist starts to hate his/her patient because of the effect that we have on people. This is no picnic and when you want or try to get off the merry-go-ground it's very very hard, no matter how much you try.
How has your recovery been? Can I ask what kind of treatment you're getting for your npd? I haven't heard much from a reflective npd-persons view, curious as to how you yourself would advvce people to think about and treat people who are narcisisstic. Is there any way of relating that does not inflict pain on the other? Are you able to have healty relationships now?
Interesting... do you mind sharing some experiences of yourself getting called out for being a narcissist? Also what was your reaction like?
I really get this and do have compassion for those w/ NPD that want to change. It must be hell and would make anyone really paranoid on top of many other struggles.
A good therapist should want you to feel better. That is their job. Their only interest, professionally, should be on you. This is a reason why I want to get into therapy. Too many therapists get too sensitive once they see first hand the "bad side" of their patients. I'm not a narcissist, but every therapist gets impatient with me if I come in slightly agitated. Patients aren't paying therapists to judge them.
Grace Pazmino Basically they seek help after people around them leave, threaten to leave, scream at them, etc. Also, empathy rises with age, they might gain more empathy if they get an illness/injury, etc etc and then realize there is something wrong with them. Help should be available but they are very hard for therapists, I'm sure.
I honestly feel like i have this symptoms and reading through most of this comments it makes me feel like a moster when in reality im a very caring person 😥
same :(
Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets :
Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim.
Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not.
They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right.
Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical.
They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection.
Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target.
They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing).
They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!).
Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything.
Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help.
When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior.
They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
They think they are models to be followed.
They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.
Noname Phoenix sounds like my dad. :(
typically my sister..
My MOTHER!!!!!
Noname Phoenix exactly that happens to my cousin :( she was recently married and moved to her husband's but after some days she were behaving strangely like you described in your comment above . She think of her as superior to her husband and his family and she stopped respecting them and even she abused and fight with them and calls them inferiors to her then returned to her mother's home and also causes that problems to her parents :(
Definitely my older brother. Don't want to deal with him anymore!
a narcissist will never seek treatment, because they think there's nothing wrong with them.
Sansu - that's what my therapist tells me...it says that in several books I've read (specifically Psychopath Free and The Human Magnet Syndrome) and many Narc Abuse UA-camrs say that too. A lot people on this chat have NPD and so thankful for the help, this is confusing to someone healing from this kind of abuse.
I've been professionally diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I initially did not seek treatment for NPD, but rather Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. But, I'm currently being treated for pathological narcissism as well.
Turns out, you can't paint an entire group of people with such a wide brush.
truee
wrong there are narcissit who seek treatment, a easy google search can disprove you stupid argument
GodOfInsomniacs dont listen to these guys there just a bunch of idiots
Thank you so so so much for this video. It's really hard as a diagnosed narcissist who no longer has access to healthcare to just do my own research to sort out some coping mechanisms. I have to wade through a lot of articles aimed not at helping narcissists, but at telling narcissists' loved ones that we are vile, monstrous people and that they are all better without us. Not to mention it's rare for NPD to ever be discussed by laypeople outside of the context of abuse. Even the majority of the comments on this video seem to be filled with ableism and statements likening narcissists to parasites - but I'm still hopeful things will turn around and people will eventually understand what a narcissist really is. Thank you.
+Kat B Have you considered getting a second opinion? I'm no psychiatrist, but you seem way too insightful for someone having NPD. A real narcissist wouldn't sit and reflect like this about their narcissism... they would instead take on a fake identity in order to secure narcissistic supply.
+Kat B The fact that you accept your diagnosis makes me wonder if it's really accurate. Society considers NPD in itself a "flaw" and narcissists by their very definition won't admit to having flaws. Maybe you just have narcissistic traits but not full-blown NPD?
Hey don't worry Kat B the more awareness people spread about various different disorders the more we'll all start waking up as a whole to the complexity of how our brains work :)
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I don't have NPD (or any personality disorder), but I've seen accounts on social media drag down people with personality disorders, as if having a personality disorder was original sin, and it frustrates me that these people think they are "ExPeRtS" on personality disorders. So yeah, I don't know what it's like to have NPD or live with someone who has it, but I think we should treat everyone with respect instead of uneducated judgement.
I discovered yesterday that I'm Narcissistic and I've never felt so bad in my life. I'm going through so much pain rn.
I promise, your pain is always valid.
So, I'm in the same boat, I kinda don't care but, I want to change since that's the "right" thing, even though I don't care I want to, because I wanna actually care for others like before.
How are you feeling now?
I am so sad for you....I do not believe being diagnosed by a doctor with this is helpful, it is just crushing. You were obviously seeking help, all you received, apparently, was another stick to beat yourself with. It s not right.
It’s really difficult for me to always remind myself that the narcissist who constantly emotionally abuse me at home is my mother. A part of me wants to leave her ASAP but another part of me just wants to sympathise her for being such a person, and honestly I still love her. I’m starting to be scared of being around her though...
I love what you did with your hair! ^^
Your videos are great, keep it up! Today is my first time seeing a therapist, I really hope she's as great as you. Wish me luck!
I almost dated a narcissist. Almost. Luckily I noticed all the little telltales and I'm so happy I'm out of this situation, but it was pretty painful for me because at the moment I genuinely believed that he was my soulmate
There are very few people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder who would sit and be "worried about being the only person diagnosed with this". First of all, a person with NPD will in 99.9% of cases not accept having the diagnosis. They are more likely to either dispute that there even should exist such a diagnosis or accuse their victims of having it instead (projection). Simply put, wondering if you're crazy is the most telltale sign that you aren't!
+Andi Miller but that's just fucked up, everyone can get help. They just need to be more aware.
Actually, most people with NPD that are aware of their diagnosis it's because a tragedy in their life (like losing all the people close to you) has brought them to either seek help for what they think is usually depression, and can lead to accepting the diagnosis of npd after multiple failed attempts at trying to treat depression that was never the problem. It's not all that common, but there are narcissists with NPD that are aware. It took a lot to get them to that point, though.
If you have empathy I personally wouldn't count you as a true narcissist. A real narcissist does not have an incitament to truly change (not counting the fake personas they use), because the only real goal is securing narcissistic supply from their surroundings. I'm sure you have narcissistic traits though. Just my opinion.
***** I differenciate NPD from having narcissistic traits. In the end, we both have to find our own method on how to identify and avoid (or cope with) these toxic people, because no psychiatrist (assuming you aren't one) is gonna be around when you bump into one. I've found my method to work well for me. If the person in question has empathy I guess he/she can still have NPD but should be pretty handleable.
Also, something to think about... if we start watering down the diagnosis we also make the real psychos appear more normal in the process. I have friends who have been accused of having NPD just because they like to dress up and drive fancy cars. There's a little more to it than that.
I appreciate the different perspective. Still it's difficult to feel sympathy for a person whose only goal seems to destroy other people, especially the ones who loves them most.
I was accused of having abusive narcissistic personality disorder by a scorned ex male friend, I am not competitive at all, and rather self deprecating, but I am in need of constant validation, and have identified with some aspects of the idealization, devaluation, and discard phase, I am an activist and would consider myself very empathetic at a distance, but struggle with empathy interpersonally, and can be incredibly self-absorbed and arrogant. I don't know if I fit the descriptor quite exactly but no one really can i feel
I think that one of the points missed in this video is that narcissists aren't actually confident. They just use that as a cover-up for their extreme self-hate. Other people's provide a sort of energy for the narcissist to be able to keep up this facade of confidence. While they hate themselves, they still won't admit even to themselves that they aren't the best.
As far as empathy and love goes, I've seen it be like this. Narcissist care about and love people like other people do for pizza. They love the taste, but if that pizza gets burnt, it's only upsetting because now you can't it. You'll have to get a whole new pizza. Does that make any sense?
Maybe also look into "soft" and "hard" narcissists. Hope I helped! :)
I very much had the self inflated view of myself, I am the greatest, I am the best most knowledgeable person in the room and saw everyone as competition. If this inflated ego was ever diminished, I would get depressed (and probably diminish another persons personality to make myself feel better). All of this was all quite subtle, but clear patterns of behavior. So I found Eckharte Tolle and the Power Of Now and I've slowly made big changed (it's an inner battle, but it works). Thanks for the vid. You have a certain charisma that makes these vids really interesting. Cheers!
I'm still really confused if I have it, I enjoy arguments and I feel that I must compete with everyone, and that sometimes I'm perfect or better than people, and without thinking I would insult people then say it's a joke or I didn't mean it, because I have no will to say sorry for some reason. Is this narcissism? I've been watching some videos with these attributes, but can you tell me because I don't want to hurt people. Are these common attributes? At least I think if I do have it it's not severe, as I'm acknowledging it I guess.
I'm not sure but as long as you have empathy you're okay. You're not alone x
You might have some narcissistic traits but if you don't want to hurt people, its unlikely that you are A narcissist
U just described me
I’m a narcissist and I’m tired of this sh^^
Hi kati. Have you heard of Masterson's subtypes? He talks about the 'closet' narcissist, where the personality structure of narcissism emerges early, but is punished or not fostered in the way that an 'exhibitionist' narcissism is. The compulsion to seek admiration is present, but fights constantly with fear and anticipates shame - unlike exhibitionist narcissism which anticipates reward for the 'performance'. The closet type is more likely to become severely depressed when criticised, rather than experiencing narcissistic rage, and I've read it can be confused with BPD. Outwardly they do not appear to suffer from a narcissistic disturbance, but the needs are the same as other narcissism types.
Not sure if the new DSM has it (clusters?) but I feel like more people should know that there's not 'one' type of narcissism, especially given the extensive stigma surrounding the diagnosis.
Thank you for this video kati, I've always been curious about what this disorder is and now I know! I hope your studying is going well, you'll pass these tests with flying colours! Take care!xx
I know someone that probably has NPD. They have zero empathy. They take credit for things that other people did. They put other people down to feel better about themselves. They only contact certain people and act nice to that person only when they want something. They talk about themselves over and over and if the topic isn't about them, then they butt in and make it about themselves. Any time someone has a problem, this person also "has the problem and it's a million times worse" every single time. They are highly manipulative. They can't take constructive criticism. If you do critique them, even in a positive manner, this person explodes and screams. They scream whenever they get asked to do something. This person is so very toxic. Any time I sense a narcissist, I stay far the fuck away, for the sake of my well-being and sanity. I feel sorry for narcissists. They don't see how harmful and toxic they are, but I don't feel sorry enough to take the abuse from one.
As a nursing student, your videos have been very helpful to understand various disorders and your explanations are easy to remember. It'll help me understand the thought processes of these patients and to give better compassionate care by understanding their underlying feelings. Your videos beat hours of reading textbooks! Thank you :)
Katy, I love your compassionate way of dealing with difficult people with difficult disorders! If all one finds online is things like, "how to get back at your narcissist" and "they will never change" it reallly begins to feel hopeless for those of us who struggle with this truly crappy way of existing. But you bring an insightful and compassionate view on these things. I'm in recovery groups and talking with a counselor doing what I call, "getting the evil out" and it is freeing. But I am struggling with forgiving myself for all the damage I've caused. All of my crap is exposed so there's nothing hidden anymore which is hood because now the people ive hurt can start to heal. I am just ready to be a compassionate, empathetic and authentic person for once.
Thank you again!
I'm not a narcissist, I'm just a Leo
+Drew & Melyna Same i'm just a gemini. that moment when both signs are egotistic.
I'm a Sun in Gemini and Moon in Leo. lol
Hey, me, too! XD
Omg my bby daddy lol
I’m a Libra leader
Good luck getting a npd into therapy lol.
yea was thinking the same thing, if they think they are the centre of universe why would they get a diagnose. that would be like suicide,
diagnose = not perfect
Mine told me he was smarter than any of the therapist he has ever been to. He told me "they didn't know anything. They can't fix me me only I can fix myself....."
UGH like Jayden Smiths Twitter Account makes more sense.
I'm in therapy and have npd?
GodOfInsomniacs I apologize for there bias and offensive statements I hope you get better soon
Hahahahahaha yes😂
You are always one of my go to mental health experts. You put the topics in such an easy to understand way that it's simple to learn about mental health issues. Love you!
I've been diagnosed with NPD two months ago after some sessions, my therapist underlined "extreme lack of empathy" after I told her that when my father died I didn't feel anything other than ordinary, and when she analyzed my pas 7 relationships. I was surprised at first, because because I'm quite self-critical and I try to expand my knowledge, use reason, many people like being around me and I'm a good listener so NPD diagnosis was the last thing I expected - I thought I might just have a deficit of empathy, but getting to know I have a personality disorder makes me feel strange. I told her that I like composing music, even though I don't share it with many people, I create 3D models, write poems so I thought I had some more depth to my character but I gradually begin to doubt that.
the truth is narcissists are valued most in the workplace. I worked with someone who wouldn't hesitate to throw me under the bus whenever shit hits the fan and the supe would immediately side with him. I don't even bother explaining.
+bananian The movie Nightcralwer was very spot on about that sort of disorder as well as how Hollywood and mass media is catering to it.
+bananian Yes, this happens too often. I'm sorry to hear about your experience.
Can you explain how narcissists are valued at workplaces? Do they tend to be CEOs?
I'm a narcissistic, my advice is to avoid them completely.
At least you're aware of it. My mom is not. It's so hard to get along with her. It may sound weird, but do you have any tips or insight?
I can tell you're not.
B Yohhanes emo Eritrea sy Halifla ane kea kemu eye .lol
CodeDarkBlue how would you know they arent a narcissist?? you aren’t a psychologist nor a psychiatrist
Well at least you’re honest about it lmao
This describes my mom perfectly. It's very hard to deal with, I need to move out, I feel sorry for her.
Kati, I love the manner in which you express your ideas, you immediately make me feel better, I desire a hug from you , your awesome! Son of an NPD mother
the hampster is cute, that kind of sounds like my dad to be honest. I never really thought that it could be a disorder. he never sees himself as wrong and it's always everyone else fault ,even when he really did something to mess up
I can imagine that this personality disorder might be specifically hard to deal with as it is not as known in the mental health community and maybe many sufferers don't see the problem and refuse to get help... I can imagine that it is hard for friends and family ;s Thanks for the video! I love to get educated on disorders that we don't know a lot of. We know much about BPD, anxiety, depression, EDs... But many disorders we don't know a lot about..
But how can you distinguish between this disorder and just healthy self esteem? Because to be honest I think that ... Liking yourself and thinking that you're great is rather something to be happy about, isn't it?
This resonated with me so much. Thankyou for shedding some light on this disorder.
My dad is like this. His "climbing over people" including me has really made my self-esteem low, Im just trying to learn how to not let his judgement hes made of me color my perception of everything I experience...
💛
Everything I've been exposed to about narcissism, makes it seem like they're evil people to be fought. I think I have a lot of narcissistic traits. I'm just really aware of those parts of my self and repress them because they get in the way of what I want. Does this make me a bad person? my therapist said I show a lot of traits of Cluster B personality disorders
if you cause danger or distress to others or yourself then yes.
however, since you are aware of it, I think its okay
I just recently became more aware of it, because I had to or I would loose my whole family. It was really hard, and before I did cause a lot of danger and distress for my whole family and people I love. I have no other way of describing it other than that it's somthing I'm particularly good at. My therapist made me be me aware of it now because she worked really hard to get me to see the patterns and how living like that doesn't actually make it easier for me to get what I need. To be honest I didn't feel anything like regret the whole time. I was more sad about how the whole situation inconvenienced me. I try to cover up that part of my self by often doing the opposite of what I want to do, and by helping others. It isn't even hard to figure out what people want you to say. I just slip sometimes. I try not to distress the people around me, but I can deny that it's an urge I have to repress regularly. It's just unfortunate that my family is around me so often I guess. I haven't done anything as bad as last year since then so I guess I'm doing well.
Skylar Wright my mother is a narcistic. i cut her off bcs she always thinks she's right and thinks that theres nothing wrong with her. but, please, seek a therapy and seriously follow it tho. being narcistic will make your life and everyone around u miserable. trust me. and good luck xx
Skylar Wright No, it doesn't make you evil. People like to brand their abusers as narcissists because it makes sense of something that otherwise wouldn't. There are just as many depressed, schizophrenic, normal, etc abusers as there are narcissistic ones. they're not mutually exclusive
Well, if you haven't done anything wrong, then I guess you wouldn't be a bad person?
No one is just their disorder.
Found you thanks to Shane's video. I'm not a professional, I would never claim to be one, but from the psychological abuse I've received and from my own anxiety, depression and possible PTSD I've taken an interest in arming myself with information on psychology. It helps me to understand myself, my abusers (which gives me closure in a way) and understand people in my life who may be struggling and know how I can help (and when it's appropriate to help or not help). Anyway, my point is, I've long suspected that my mother has NPD... And it's a nightmare. I know this is an older video but if you could maybe do a longer, more in-depth video on NPD I know a lot of people would really appreciate it... Myself included. Thank you for doing what you do
I love how even the narcissists agree you should avoid us.
Narcissists are the exact opposite of what you think. Many of you talk about the victims having pts after meeting them, but so do narcissists! The trauma caused them to have no self worth, that even arguments make them feel better than the condition they are in.
Covert Narcissists are the craziest and really scary.
I agree. I was ghosted by a covert narcissist in 2006, hes popped in and out of my life since then using me to feed his supply for an ego boost. All the while I never realized what he was until literally 3 weeks ago. It took my dumb a$$ 15 years to have this AHA! moment, "oh wow hes a narc and always was"
I am finally seeing a therapist next month to work thru and try and heal the emotional destruction he has caused me. I am angry but mostly at myself for being sucked in by his charisma and charm and for blaming myself all these years for things he put off on me-- when all he was really doing was gaslighting during our shortlived relationship. I feel foolish even calling it that now, it wasn't-- it was more a predator and prey scenario.
How could I not see what he was doing? Am I the biggest idiot or is he just that cunning? Hes not even that intelligent! Ugh sorry its just the disillusionment I feel is extraordinary. 😥💔
I am a national embarrassment
They are the most dangerous 👹
Agreed
I've just left a vulnerable narcissist, and after 26 year's of mind bending abuse. I have to say that most narcissist's do not seek help.
2:20 - "I toootally understand" *Shakes Head No*
Hahahaha good eye:)
i love you kati! you describe my mom so well.
I love your videos , they are definitely helping me understand my psych class !!!
I think someone I knew may have had this. (either this or bpd).....I have a question for you npd/bpd sufferers...do you find it hard to keep friends? and/or did you notice your friends distancing themselves from you when your symptoms became more apparent?
Super late but as a person who thinks they may have npd or some other disorder, my answer is a strong definite yes. I am currently doing it right now even.
I know your comment is years old, but I still felt like answering. I've always loved my own company more than anything else, so I only have few people I really consider friends eben though I'm friendly with a lot of people. All of my friends know about my NPD, they all either reacted with "ya I can see that" or "oh okay idc". Most of my friends are pretty good at calling me out when I'm misbehaving but other than that they tend to be understanding and forgiving, which I don't get but I do like.
Bpd ppl usually have an extreme fear of abandonment and tend to abandon ppl first. Ppl with BPD also have mood swings and problems in relationships so it is hard. I have pushed a lot of ppl away bc I thought they were doing me wrong and dealt with it poorly bc I didn’t know the healthiest way to talk to a person when I was dealing with s conflict and couldn’t control my overwhelming emotions
Eccentricka1 why would my friends wanna distance themselves from me.😂 fucking sick
Yup i indeed feel very hard to keep friends. But tbh i have seen some ppl with npd having many friends too but me personally i'm fine with one or two. Well tbh i think most ppl don't like to be around me in short.
It's probably someone who is suffering from severe depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc would find it hard to keep friends. Some narcissists just don't care and become even more evil/selfish and deluded to don't feel depressed and if they have good socializing and manipulation skills then u know right they would be good at making friends and manipulating more ppl to not believe they r narcissists. These kinda narcissist have secret haters but they still stick around them.
i've read a lot of angry comments about people shouldn't see a narc like a monster : yes .. they are human like us but how many people are still struggeling with a narc?? how many had lost friends, family members, their job? their home? their life? You cant tell to someone who is in a middle of a war zone to chill out ...
Arnelor Vaast usually, it's harder for the narcissist than the people they affect.
No overly confident person struggles, they power on and reach the top.
Gojida it starts with the narcissist right? So they can change or the victims might leave. Of course there is a third way and that is to stay in misery forever. No matter who suffers how much, this abuse starts with the narc and they need to hold themselves accountible for it.
Gojida I'm not sure why narcissists are saying this but this line's gotta go. I think they just lack empathy and thus don't understand that they are actually hurting people, so no, it's usually worse for the victim. CPTSD, anxiety, full-on nervous breakdowns... my mother-in-law had to deal with her narcissistic mother-in-law her whole life and now has heart problems and digestive problems from the stress, I have adrenal glands that are struggling to work properly (and also had severe digestive problems but that's now better). The narcissists themselves are usually healthy, nothing keeps them up at night (they fall asleep usually after 5 minutes no matter what has happened in the day!). Now this may be different for a covert narcissist, I think they have a hard time, but for a regular narcissist, no. That narcissists think they have it worse than the people who they stress out to the point of becoming physically sick is another sign that they just cannot empathize with people! Trust me, if a narcissist got under the control of a more severe narcissist they would not be saying, "Oh that guy suffers worse than me." Because he doesn't, he suffers less, plus that isn't the nature of the disease. Hope that clears things up.
What many people misunderstand is that Narcism isn’t just “oh I am perfect” or “oh i look so good”. They are disconnected from themselves and their existence is based on what they do and who people perceive them as. They have no perception of the self outside of what the external says about them
My sister's husband is a one and I mistakenly after years attempted to talk to my sister about the abusive way they deal with people and I was so heavily retaliated against I almost lost my life from losing my mind and it took me five years to be okay again. I thought maybe I had ptsd but I'm okay now but christ I almost died and everyday just feel lucky to be alive. I would say sane but if I hadn't recovered my sanity I doubt I would be here. Holy shit that was bad. If you suspect you know one do not confront and sort of research instead and think carefully about your moves.
My mother is a textbook narcissist. From all the emotional abuse I've suffered because of her I hope every night that she will die.
Thomas Baron sorry to hear this. I had a narcissistic mother too. I hope you heal soon.
I was asking myself many times before whether there was something wrong with me when I was young because I had great fead and pain while my aunt and mu parent are around me until I have read a book on Abnormal Psychology that personality disorders do exist....Cluster B personality disorders in particular are manipulative.....
I was asking myself many times before whether there was something wrong with me when I was young because I had great fear and pain while my aunt and my parent are around me until I have read a book on Abnormal Psychology that personality disorders do exist....Cluster B personality disorders in particular are manipulative.....
Both my parents are NPD. :-( so hard to live with. One I no longer have contact with the other I can only handle limited contact with. Hope your study is going well! Missing your vids!
Parents are supposed to be nurturing, not abusive....Narcissists are very damaging to children....Having a narcissist on my life causes me to have sleeping, eating, self-esteem and concentration problems....It's both emotionally and mentally exhausted to having a narcissist on your life...
Thank you for uploading this video. I learned a lot from watching this video. I happen to have somebody in my family who suffers from this.
I really need help. I'm a teenager who is alone, ashamed, scared and angry. I feel I have NPD as I've researched for months and I match with so many traits. I feel so panicky and sick that I'm matching up to these traits and I'm slowly falling to self hate. I'm scared that if I don't get this sorted, I'll become an abuser and a monster in the future like the stigma says. I'm already awful at maintaining healthy, balanced relationships with friends and family but I don't want it to get in the way of my potential love life. I have tried so hard to be happy for people's achievements, ignore unnecessary jealousy, not crave attention and be empathetic but it feels like there's something inside me that is fighting at my attempts to be a good person. I know I'm an arrogant, manipulative and overall difficult person and I'm sure there's a deeper meaning behind my distorted view of myself and others. My parents probably won't take me seriously, I don't want to hurt my friends (even though I know I already have) and I'm too young to find a therapist to talk to on my own. I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore and I want to be a pure, loving person like everyone else. Can someone please give me some advice as to what to do or at least some encouragement? I know you might not think I deserve a chance because I might be affecting other people but I just want to be like everyone else.
Why don't you speak to your school counselor?
It's important to get a professional diagnosis before getting too fearful of what you might have or what you might become. Do you have access to a family doctor? If so, depending on your country, they may be able to refer you to a mental health professional. Crisis hotlines usually provide information for accessing mental health resources in your community, so even if you're not in crisis, they'd be very helpful to call.
suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Histrionic personality disorder can appear similar to NPD. Some of the other personality disorders also overlap in symptoms and can be difficult to distinguish, especially for people who aren't trained in psychology. But this doesn't guarantee you have a personality disorder. Also, keep in mind that, if you're young, you're still developing your personality. Stuff you may struggle with now may not be what you struggle with later in adulthood. Also, children raised by parents with NPD can take on the characteristics of their parents' behaviours because of their strong parental influence. The children may not necessarily be diagnosible themselves. An important factor is their self-awareness, which it seems you have.
From my experience, it is rare for a person with NPD (who isn't diagnosed and in therapy already) to worry about how they come off to others, or consider there to be anything remotely wrong with them or their behaviour. Passing the blame onto others so that they can maintain their sense of self without any challenge to it, as much as possible, is a common behaviour. You admitting you're arrogant and manipulative suggests to me that you recognize there are attributes of yourself that you don't like and that affect others in a negative way, and you wish this weren't the case because you don't want to hurt others. A person with NPD probably wouldn't concern themselves much with the welfare of others nor be concerned with the impact their actions had on the welfare of others. Their empathy (the ability to imagine another person's experience as your own) isn't very accessible, if at all, so they wouldn't think about that.
I hope you find the support you need. You deserve mutually fulfilling, loving, healthy relationships with yourself and others.
ZangelDemon Thankyou for being so helpful and informative, I'll consider everything❤️ Thankyou so much💕
amzyb_x I'm so sorry to hear this. Just know that you are not a bad person. Being willing to ask others for assistance (something I find very hard to do) shows that you care enough, something that many others struggle to do. And if you do decide to get a form of help, make sure you keep the side of you that many people strive to have.
How is it possible to be self deprecating, almost to the point of extremism imo, yet still arrogant in a way and demanding and entitled to others' praise and affection? I ultimately lose it and beat myself up when I don't get that. I feel like a selfish prick deserving of everything, but I hate myself at the same time. And how I sometimes treat others, wouldn't be considered malevolent, but just inconsiderate as far as empathy goes. I try, but I feel like a broken person. I hate the way I talk to my family and even friends when the mask comes off, but the regret is on the surface a lot of the time...
I'm sorry you're struggling. I don't have NPD, but I hate myself all the time, and it's miserable. At least you're aware you have a problem, most of them do not. I feel for you.
ENiGMaTiCxFaTE Education yourself on emotion regulation skill and the book nonviolence communication might help you. peace
This is a very serious mental health disorder. Unfortunately, many people, especially on the internet, like to peg others as having this when they probably do not. Their delusions of grandiosity are almost schizophrenic in nature. No, that doesn't make them "evil" necessarily. Many of people with NPD suffer more than others around them suffer.
+Natasha Vermeer What is evil is the serious damage they create in other people's lives and the list will be long.
Yeah, meeting a real narcissist is scary. They are like robots, or like an evil alien from a movie. They replicate human behavior, but they are basically dead inside.
+Natasha Vermeer This is true. I also hear the word "sociopath" being thrown around a lot these days and it's annoying. Most people don't know the real definitions of these terms.
Thanks for your insight!
BEAUTIFUL VIDEO!!! TREMENDOUS!!! THE BEST!!! Just like the PERFECT PHONE CALL!!!
this is unrelated to the video but I love your hair here!!!! I want your hair!
It's nice, but I really preferred it shorter.
How does one confront a loved one, with NPD, about recognizing this disorder in themselves? if they believe they are so flawless - it only goes to follow they will not allow themselves to listen. I need some mechanics that have proven to have worked for others.
Dont. If you do, expect a fight. There is a very tiny chance they may believe you and get help
Thanks for the informative video, Kati! Also, you look really lovely, your hair is really pretty and I love that sweater! I hope your studying/testing is going well.
Feels like Kati Morton just read me like a book. Thanks for the video!
I like you - you rock.
Can someone develop AvPD purely as a result of narcissistic abuse in childhood?
Girl, your hair is fabulous!!
The shortest definition: Narcisists are similar to psychopaths, except for the motive.
Self diagnosed narcissist here. I would argue that being a narcissist can be a good thing at times. I often find myself being very courteous of there feelings and make sure I am considerate. I try hard not to upset people aswell as criticise them, I compliment people often and encourage them. This is all because I treat others like I want to be treated. However, I find myself being envious of my 'rivals' success but I'd argue that's common across everyone. Furthermore, I do often feel very deflated when critized on the things I take passion in ( football, my looks) but generally get over them relatively quickly.
same. :(
Thank you!!
Some of the traits of the malignant narcissist I had the misfortune of getting to know well.
- He is a pathological liar.
- He has very little empathy or remorse.
- He is extremely manipulative & doesn't see anything wrong in cheating people.
- He is hyper sensitive & gets offended, hurt or angry easily.
- He spreads false stories & rumors.
- He is always criticizing someone or the other because in his eyes everyone is at fault except for him.
- He has a superiority complex & demands special treatment. But at his core he knows he is not special & has an inferiority complex.
- He can be rude or nasty, and cause a lot of damage, but if you stand up to him at least a wee bit, then it is entirely your fault & he will raise hell. Additionally, he will play the victim & whine to everyone about how horrible you are.
- He is very heirarchical. He can be nice to people who are powerful or rich, but is dismissive to those that are beneath him.
- He knows how to be charming & resorts to it if he thinks it will benefit him.
- He extremely selfish. He thinks only about his comfort & convenience.
-He is very demanding & expects others to serve him & cater to all his needs.
- He does have affection for those closest to him like his kids & grandkids, but only at his convenience.
- While he is difficult & pretty much impossible, he has very high standards from others & explodes when they fall short of his idea of perfection.
I was recently diagnosed with this. I appreciate your nonjudgmental approach towards talking about NPD, and I'd like to see more videos from you on the subject.
I'll say this, for me, I usually wouldn't be likely to see other people as competition, I'd mostly be indifference towards other people's feelings, abilities. If someone was hitting on someone that I was interested in let's say, that's when my competitive and more spiteful side when come out. Maybe not so much at work or school because I tend to see those things as "beneath me". This disorder in particular manifests so differently depending on the person.
Educational Kati. Thank you
***** I always enjoy your videos! Best of luck again, I would be freaking out and panicking if I were you! :p fingers crossed for Saturday! Xx
Tbh, idk much about this disorder but do feel that it is very stigmatised.
The stigma comes from the very real abuse and damage it does to the other person / people. The UK passed a law in December 2015 against coercive control, that I suppose stigmatized it more? I guess there's a great deal of stigma around criminals in general then. NPD abuse is VERY real, and the only people who can tell you this are us, the survivors of it
@@jackgoodings I agree.
It's a personality disorder, not a mental disorder like anxiety or depression.
It's just a shitty type of personality that deserves no empathy at all.
Personalities are partially created by the environment. The spoiled brat that always had everything and never worked for achieving nothing feels entitled to get it.
@@Sarablueunicorn personality disorders are a category of mental disorders.
I’ve been raised and grew up around narcissists like this, it was really toxic and i even mirrored their actions to get them to love me but i ended up getting beaten and abused. Was a kid. Horrible people, i still struggle with feeling like a narcissist myself just by association
Your so nice and lovely and it really shines through in every video I don’t think I’m a sociopath😂 nor am I interested in any of this but I still loved and watched this video♥️
Hey ***** I don't struggle with this! but is it like false confidence?
also is it a protective mechanism to keep themselves safe. Like with bullying, not many confident people get bullied, right? bullies tend to go for quiet and withdraw people. xoxo
I have NPD comorbid with my BPD, so I'll try to answer this for you (hopefully you'll see this, since it's 3 years after your comment :P)
It definitely is a protective/defence mechanism, just like with every personality disorder. When I'm having a BPD episode, my defensive mechanisms cause me to lash out angrily, or to become extremely impulsive to distract myself. When my NPD shows up, my empathy supply completely cuts off, and I become the most amazing person in existence. I'll seek out people and be nice to them, so that they will compliment me, which helps to boost my ego. We're not horrible people, we're just trying to cope with our current surroundings, just in a different way to your mentally stable human being. I hope this helps somewhat with your interest.
Is self hatred narcissism?
I have a 'friend' who has always been very manipulative and self centred, and whenever anyone has called her out on anything or made a joke at her expensive, she's completely altered her personality and become very heartless and ruthless. I've tried to be there for her as I'm pretty certain she has this disorder and it may have been born out of trauma, she doesn't deserve to be punished for being burdened with NPD, but I'm struggling. As an empath, I am very easily manipulated and being around her has negatively affected my mental health in MULTIPLE different ways. :(
Narcissists are one of the worst people u should spot such people and completely avoid them / keep no contact
Thank you, *****, a million times over for this video.
I have a question. What advice would you give to family members of someone with NPD? I have a family member that has this disorder and it really has an effect on the people in our family. It has added an immense stress into my life, as she is an immediate family member that I see and deal with way more than I would like. I have been the victim of her attacks on numerous occasions and she has negatively added to the PTSD from which I am trying to recover. I have had to learn to deal with her over the last 10 years, but it has caused me to put a wall up whenever she is in my presence. I wish there was more that could be done to deal with her, but as with NPD, in her mind, the problem and blame lies with everyone/thing else in the world and not with herself and there is no way to make her see differently.
Bless you for all you do to bring awareness to mental health topics and for being a bright and shining star in this world!
Thank you so much ***** for answering my question! I will definitely try to just keep focusing on my recovery and trying to remember that what she says about me is not a true reflection of my life. Good luck on Saturday. I know you are going to do amazing on your test. I will be praying for knowledge and peace for you as you take it!
***** I also suffered PTSD after coming out of a relationship with a person who was very narcissistic, I also struggle very much with a parent with similar traits, sometimes it is unbearable and I feel like I am literally being destroyed, like the more they hurt you the happier they are because they feel like they are winning. I dont know if you have watched any of Ross Rosenburgs videos on co dependancy and narcissism but this spoke volumes to me and helped a lot :) also this video is great, I honestly could never imagine my parent being in therapy as the problem is always everyone else and they are perfect. But it is good to know a psychologist knows how they think, just wondering, is therapy ever successful? or does blame get put on the therapist for pointing out something is wrong. I have come to the conclusion the only person I can change is me, and to keep away from people who intentionally hurt me. thanks for the video it was great :)
+Kati Morton (Mental Health Vlogger) would like to know about spiraling downward what it means and why
+Kati Morton Hi Kati would you maybe consider doing a video on the effects of narcissism on an adult child from growing up with a narcissistic parent and also signs and symptoms, i myself have removed myself from a narcissistic parent and tried to become everything they weren't only to discover recently that the abuse i suffered still effects me in many ways for instance with trust issues, ocpd etc etc so now i am trying to identify areas of my life which are and have been effected in order to try and change my outlook and not feel so controlled by that parent. Even though they are no longer present in my life i still feel in some ways i have allowed myself to be guided from the trauma and until recently it was unknown to me to be a root cause of somethings but now i feel their presence lingering in me.
I just wondered if you could share any of your thoughts on this topic if you have the time please? It would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! And thank you for all of your videos :-)
My father was diagnosed with this and most of my issues stem from him and the way he treats me. The problem with narcissists are that they feel so great about themselves that even if you tell them there is something different about them they'll deny it. My father has been to several therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists over a number of years and still doesn't think anything is wrong with himself. They think that they're always right and it's everyone else around them that is wrong. It's really tough honestly and it takes a long long time with lots of therapy for them to reverse that mind set.
Narcissists cannot be cured. A true narcissist would never seek help as they can't see anything wrong with themselves. If you've identified a narcissist in your life save your future by leaving them.
Sheep mentality. There is no 'true' narcissist in the manner of which you speak of.
You have different types of narcissists: aware, and non-aware. I'm aware of my NPD (comorbid with BPD) but I generally don't see how any of it is bad. I'm aware that it's not considered normal, but I don't see how it's a bad thing. But, at the same time, I don't abuse for my supply. I'm a nasty and spiteful person when it comes to people who're already being horrible people. I find my supply in compliments, which anybody can provide, so I usually compliment people, and they compliment me done. Ego boosted, no problem. We're not all horrible people, but we're also not all nice people. Some of us are abusive and horrible, while others find their supply in mostly-healthy ways. I hope this helps.
Wow, congrats on the discovery! Would you like a medal?
That's untrue.
My abuser for sure has this. Pretty sure he does not give a damn, unfortunately.
I’m a very compassionate forgiving person. Trust me on this. These people know exactly what they are doing. They don’t need someone to explain to them what they are doing. They. Don’t. Care.
I think I'm a covert narcissist im very introverted But I also have social anxiety is that possible?
it's more likely that viewers are requesting this topic because they are victims of narcissistic abuse from others with this disorder. NPD individuals almost never get diagnosed because they never seek therapy or help, because they see themselves as perfect and that their victims are the source of all problems. Narcissistic personality disorder is a vast topic, and the stratagies that they use go way beyond the over-simplified definition of 1] zero empathy, and 2] grandiose delusions. What drives them (narc supply), is not straight forward, or easy to understand.
NPD individuals would never tune into your videos in a million years, unless it was in order to somehow learn how to better conceal their true nature, and conduct their abuse more covertly.
Narcissists have feelings too, they might be vulnerable on the inside and they don't show it.
yes, but feelings exclusively for themselves and ZERO, i mean ZERO feelings, or empathy for others. no one. other people aren't even real to them. I'm not talking about 'narcissists', i.e.. selfish people. I mea people with the full blown personality disorder. Unless you've had one as a close family member, or spouse, you won't fully understand it. It's beyond belief.
Robert Whitley I don't have narcissistic personality disorder but I do have narcissistic traits that I am proud of and I do need to keep strong. I just think we shouldn't be evil to people with the disorder because it might not have been their fault why they got it, people can change people.
Robert Whitley ....you are so right!
R.Langton absolutely. But pls dont consider it evil to protect yourself from them. having no contact with them may be the only way to do this depending on how destructive they are. If you must interact with one, then learn 'grey rock' technique. starve them of narcisstic supply and they will move on to a better target and a better source of supply. They will choose no contact with you. They would perfer you are evil with them, they can feed off of the conflict and get you to supply them. Its drama queen on steroids.
I wish there were more people with this kind of attitude toward narcissism, but I was a bit disappointed that this video didn't go into more detail.
at my 38s, Y finally meet a girl with NPD and I moved with her with only two months, after 6 months, I moved out, last 3 months were a totally nightmare. it's been 3 months since we broke, I am finaly healing, these people are sick, you can't fix them, the longer you stay with them the sicker you get.... they get pleasure by hurting you... mine was close to send me to jail also they are prone to cheating... know the person well before it's too late....
Sounds like everyone from America... I'm a Marine; born and raised in NYC lol
Is 'puffer chesty' a clinical term?
does narcissistic personality go hand-in-hand with passive aggressive behavior? I've been dealing with this for 17 years from my husband and have lost the will to fight. is this a natural feeling or am I wrong for giving up.
They absolutely go hand in hand. I think you should totally give up and find someone new.....like me ;)
You think? Lol
Yes I do!
I don't want to sound rude or anything but I have had a "friend" who has a similar behavior pattern. I've known that person for many years now. And as I've gotten to know them better, I can't seem to stand them, simply because spending even a little time with them drains me out completely. They always seem to interject other peoples opinions with their own same goes for sharing experiences. If I have story they have a similar story and somehow they have to say while I am. Also, for some reason they have to top everything when clearly it's not happening. For example, if I say "oh I cut my hand" the person has to say "oh one time I cut my hand too and it hurt more than you" It sounds immature but it gets quite draining and very toxic after a while. And I don't know a polite way of saying they need help. Personally it's affected me a lot.
I loved this video it explains everything. My friend has all of these symptoms its crazy. He gets super angry whenever we say the slightest thing about him, and he's always so competitive with other guys at school. I've tried talking to him about it because the level of stress it causes him trying to compete all the time. I feel like it really controls his life and hes too focused on other people's opinions. Hopefully he can see someone to get help idk
Nobody who actually has NPD is gonna look for help, they don't think there is anything wrong with them, that's the very nature of the disorder I have been married to one for 12 years, now separated!
The dislikes are from narcissist.
This video is much more interesting than the Categories of Narcissism Video. I really liked it
I like her so much.
I wish she was my therapist.