How to call a guy out on his BS without Losing him

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 228

  • @flyandshy00
    @flyandshy00 7 років тому +391

    If you are afraid that you will lose him, that already shows that you know that he doesn't want a real relationship with you, so you have nothing to lose.

    • @jdstep97
      @jdstep97 7 років тому +17

      It might show that you know he does not want a relationship, or it might show you have some issues with being insecure, which in turn will chase him away.

    • @ceyciemateo9411
      @ceyciemateo9411 Рік тому +2

      Exactly

  • @dianerussman5544
    @dianerussman5544 6 років тому +178

    I did call out a man on his bs. And lost him. We haven't talked. Maybe it is a good thing

  • @heatherann4390
    @heatherann4390 3 роки тому +50

    He basically chased me to use me and ignore me after. Then gets mad at me for him using me. Messed up gaslighter what.

    • @tiname1805
      @tiname1805 3 роки тому +4

      Not necessarily a gaslighter. Maybe only emotionally immature.

  • @lakisha1235
    @lakisha1235 5 років тому +98

    Say what you feel all the time, because holding on to it only hurts you.

  • @jencollings6065
    @jencollings6065 6 років тому +62

    I always say ... if he doesn’t want me to call him out on it, he shouldn’t do it. I don’t care ... I like me, I respect me... and I’ll remind him of this. If he continues to be disrespectful or bsing... bye bye. Don’t let the door hit your a$$ on the way out.

  • @saralw4216
    @saralw4216 7 років тому +107

    Making it fun is not a good strategy to use if you have been hurt by someones actions. Don't belittle yourself by using humor if you have been treated badly. As Alex said just say what you feel without coming from a place of need and don't worry about the outcome.

    • @danielavelazqueze.5492
      @danielavelazqueze.5492 4 роки тому +1

      BEST answer so far!!

    • @elharrop
      @elharrop 2 роки тому +1

      Yup. Agreed with everything he said besides the humor part, that bit needs revising. Adding humor is an insult to yourself and a hallpass for further bad behaviour.

  • @Niaesco888
    @Niaesco888 7 років тому +185

    The thing with me is that I'm not afraid to confront a man on his bs i actually like it because he thinks I'm dumb but really he is lol I just want to know how to come off without being aggressive yet making my point yet not showing or him thinking he has power over my emotions!!

    • @catherinebranson1469
      @catherinebranson1469 5 років тому +14

      I become aggressive sticking up for myself, because I am an independent woman that does not want to be controlled and play into being submissive. How do I get respected without losing my independent thinking?

    • @vaniathomas8859
      @vaniathomas8859 5 років тому +26

      Girl I lose my shit within 3 seconds. Once I feel my intelligence is being insulted, I go in.

    • @LS-xu7cv
      @LS-xu7cv 5 років тому +4

      Same

    • @Jennifer-di4nl
      @Jennifer-di4nl 2 роки тому

      What's your zodiac?

    • @Perfectliliies
      @Perfectliliies 2 роки тому +3

      Same I'm very independent too I don't wanna come off like he has power over my emotions that's why I always ignore but idk what is right or wrong

  • @jelenavojvodic2736
    @jelenavojvodic2736 6 років тому +37

    Conversation works every time and clears the air.. It's tough when there is no conversation..

  • @blackbutterflylove2758
    @blackbutterflylove2758 7 років тому +96

    For me....not giving a damn either way works....when u have love for self....you won't care.

  • @4rmwestcoastmagsonia
    @4rmwestcoastmagsonia 7 років тому +46

    Well I called him out on his BS and lost him so hes not the 1 for me.

  • @DatingAddendum
    @DatingAddendum 5 років тому +20

    I'm more of a pro at this now. Had to do this recently. It felt so good to have a coolness about myself, feel the emotions, love myself even more, and know that it is their loss.

  • @teresamartin4735
    @teresamartin4735 7 років тому +25

    You have to get to the place of "what I have to say is just as important yours".

  • @zubieM
    @zubieM 3 роки тому +15

    Men respect you more for calling them out on their BS. Otherwise you are a mug or a doormat 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • @NORASHEN83
    @NORASHEN83 5 років тому +6

    this happens to me .. i am either too afraid and let bs slide by and dont react to it or pretty aggressive when i am finally fed up .. and they call me crazy for it ... and tables are turned

  • @mistisa143
    @mistisa143 7 років тому +35

    I like that.." Let go of the outcome." Also..."Don't say it in Defensiveness.. (it'll lead to a defensive reaction) so then ask yourself,"How can I make this fun... so then you can make it sound like you're playing around; at the same time you're calling him out on it. Love this tip. 😙

  • @litawi7869
    @litawi7869 6 років тому +6

    You are the reason why I love UA-cam! Why I prefer it to TV anyday. Thank you for every word you utter! Even the goose hatred. Lol

  • @shrayasaxena4407
    @shrayasaxena4407 6 років тому +5

    wow i needed this. i think im dealing with a player and i need to confront him because it's driving me insane

  • @stacia9893
    @stacia9893 7 років тому +47

    I love nature too so soothing ....

    • @jaim6580
      @jaim6580 7 років тому +2

      I agree. That restaurant place is way to distracting. 🙄

  • @starchildgoddess_3335
    @starchildgoddess_3335 5 років тому +4

    I tune in to your videos like the morning news! 😂😂🙌🏾

  • @brendacampos1266
    @brendacampos1266 6 років тому +8

    You are so hilarious! I crack up every time I watch your videos.

  • @TotallyDudeFun
    @TotallyDudeFun Рік тому

    You crack me the hell up talking about them birds lmaooo mad adhd I love it

  • @markisha8630
    @markisha8630 6 років тому +3

    Lol I gotta meet you when I go to NYC. Not only are you wise, but also HILARIOUS! Lol

  • @Mintys_mm2
    @Mintys_mm2 6 років тому +6

    I knew he was bullshitting me by a couple texts he had sent so I texted him..." Tisk Tisk don't play those games with me lol." And his response..." I like playing games with you you're fun. Hope today goes well."
    Much appreciated, Alex. Thank you for all your advice❤

  • @dianew9065
    @dianew9065 4 роки тому +2

    Ladies- Iove these videos- this guy is genius. To add to this though- the way to do this is to stay classy- no swearing- strong- and firm in tone without shouting. Give specific examples of what’s wrong and let him know you would never do the same- state that you won’t put up with this behaviour again and lastly explain to him- if he goes-you wish him well anyway. 90 percent you won’t lose him. Unless you specifically push him out- this- works!

  • @discoveryhealth7257
    @discoveryhealth7257 7 років тому +20

    I think I am more of a B because I never fear calling them on their bs I'm never afraid in fact I measure the confrontation to see what are they made of...lol

  • @dr.tapasyadiwakar1246
    @dr.tapasyadiwakar1246 2 роки тому +1

    It is not only for man...it is for every relationship.

  • @Vixinaful
    @Vixinaful 5 років тому +9

    "Its a DUCK....not, its a...TURTLE!"

  • @lindagallacher7
    @lindagallacher7 7 років тому +22

    Yes please keep going back to Meditation it is the best way of becoming ' your own source of positive emotions' to quote you and where we can all flow from a better place. Love it when you keep reminding us about Mindfulness. Love it what you teaching us. And these outdoor videos are dope!

    • @jaim6580
      @jaim6580 7 років тому +1

      Linda Gallacher Yes! All that. 😬

  • @saraxortega
    @saraxortega 6 років тому +40

    The way you try to make your voice sound girly😂

  • @lightuponlight6024
    @lightuponlight6024 4 роки тому +4

    Did you realize that everything you do in life and playing it would come back to you when you really fall in love and no boundaries would work?

  • @goodenoughgirl8102
    @goodenoughgirl8102 5 років тому +7

    Ah. I DID actually tell him off quite sternly and said I’m done. He comes back all sheepishly like is it ok to even talk to her? But he did and I was nice enough. Now he’s trying again. Now I’m wondering if I’m going to have to discuss it again (the subject was why hot and cold-like pick one or the other-I suspect he’s scared or reluctant cuz of the circumstance we are in with work and positions etc but the attraction and so on is undeniable). So I said if you’re gonna flirt and carry on with me, then you need to take it somewhere besides going round in circles. So how tf do I know when I’m rounding the curve and the circle starts again? I think I’m just gonna have to flat out say look-wtf are you so afraid of? Like damn, just try the fkn shirt on already and see if it fits you or not already. 🙄 Srsly not sure what’s got his goat exactly cuz he’s otherwise a great guy and friend to me. But yeah. I got a problem with this for real. Didn’t sign up to waste my time or go around in circles with someone for so long (a couple of months of this kind of thing approx-tho we’ve been friends quite a bit longer). Just throwing it out there. Maybe it will help me to just write it out on here. I don’t NEED him. I just really freakin want him tho. Lol.

  • @bcancer7770
    @bcancer7770 6 років тому +11

    I love your impersonation of a woman's voice. Hilarious

  • @Jassywazzy1
    @Jassywazzy1 Рік тому

    Tip: always approach ppl with respect and kindness. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Flow with grace and trust the process.

  • @amandabennett6734
    @amandabennett6734 7 років тому +1

    Omg... this video NEEDS to be BLASTED across EVERY news station lol... seriously!!! Urgent news!!!!!!!! Thank u soo much for ur videos.. ur one of a kind. Thank u 4 being DIFFERENT!!!!!! ☮☯️🦋

  • @SwiftyDawsonFan
    @SwiftyDawsonFan 3 роки тому

    I love the outdoor chats.

  • @CNM2326
    @CNM2326 4 роки тому +4

    I asked him for money and we are in a long distance relationship and he pretended that he tried to look for the money and he just slipped away with it. I didn't even need it to buy expensive things or anything unnecessary i was hungry... But that showed me he's promises are bs

    • @gabred5800
      @gabred5800 10 місяців тому

      Pay attention to actions not words or promises

  • @cosmospray
    @cosmospray 6 років тому +5

    You are the best love coach of the world wide web dude

  • @user-my9ok1nz1j
    @user-my9ok1nz1j 5 років тому +3

    Should I just straight up tell a guy that showing low interest (ie. mixed messages, being late, etc.) makes me lose interest in him?

    • @elizabethjones4325
      @elizabethjones4325 5 років тому +3

      Hell no. Ignore him. Any man that gives you mixed signals in the first three weeks. Ignore him. Don't reply or answer his calls. After two weeks then you will see his true colours.

  • @MrSsur1973
    @MrSsur1973 2 роки тому

    Marsha Baker here--you're so cute hehehe. Wished I was young again. Great advice though!! Thanks!!!

  • @91FreeSpiritX
    @91FreeSpiritX 5 років тому +4

    I must say I’m falling for you with each video I watch ☺️🥰 can we get together and not play any games?

  • @jadeluvsanime
    @jadeluvsanime 7 років тому +1

    No cop calling here in The Bahamas... we get a good beating. Love your videos btw 😄

  • @leslieq8705
    @leslieq8705 7 років тому

    Please make a part 2 video on this. I’ve been searching for help on this topic and you are the only one with a video on this. Maybe give examples of dos and don’ts . Or when it’s okay to call him out etc.

  • @scarlesbarkley9186
    @scarlesbarkley9186 3 роки тому +2

    “I hate gooses” 😂

  • @sagenosnibor9173
    @sagenosnibor9173 6 років тому +3

    2:23 made me bust up LOL ahhhh i love you man you made my day with that!

  • @SuctionMonsters
    @SuctionMonsters 6 років тому +7

    "All turtles are single mothers"

  • @rileysmiley9585
    @rileysmiley9585 6 років тому +5

    Alex...I concur!!!👍
    Ladies you should practice yoga and Pilates regularly then meditate and become your own source of optimistic kindness and energy....my new years resolution was IDGAF! Speak your mind without being rude or defensive...then just chill and listen...my man loves me because I always smell good...I'm very nice...but I really don't care 🤗.

  • @peachesncreamy9653
    @peachesncreamy9653 2 роки тому +2

    Is that a mic or a pistachio ice cream? 🤣🤣

  • @leesteal4458
    @leesteal4458 3 роки тому +1

    Prospect Park? You're from Brooklyn? I might bump into you Alex?

  • @violetlune72
    @violetlune72 7 років тому +11

    U always hit everything on the nail! Wish I can literally carry you in my back pocket so I can remember how to apply these realtime. Speaking of meditation, can you plsss make another meditation talk through??? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thanks Alex as always...🐢🐢🐢

    • @MindfulAttraction2.0
      @MindfulAttraction2.0  7 років тому +1

      sure i think i will

    • @violetlune72
      @violetlune72 7 років тому

      I need to first cut down on my shopping habits before I can save up to put you in my pocket! :P

  • @saragara4696
    @saragara4696 7 років тому +5

    Perfect video thanks!! REQUEST:how does a woman admire the manly qualities in a man without becoming less of a challenge?
    (Men want to feel admired for their manly qualities right? But admiring him might lead him to think this woman is chasing him. So how does she do that?)

  • @LifeFlamesReunion
    @LifeFlamesReunion 5 років тому +1

    This is the best of your videos! A M A Z I N G

  • @melimakeupartist8777
    @melimakeupartist8777 7 років тому

    Great info as always! I also love the change of scenery in your videos (the turtles, lol)

  • @christkyr
    @christkyr 7 років тому +11

    hahahaha I love the random comment about you hating gooses tho

  • @c0cochan3l29
    @c0cochan3l29 7 років тому +8

    Nah real talk I'm a no sense kind of person if I have to confront a grown man i 'll just skate on him I don't play around I don't care call it a defense mechanism so be it

  • @emilymcgirr5801
    @emilymcgirr5801 Рік тому

    great insights

  • @terribelle3
    @terribelle3 7 років тому +1

    You triggered my vertigo at the end 😠 😄

  • @heatherwoodley8244
    @heatherwoodley8244 3 роки тому

    This was really useful advice. Thanks

  • @spaces3345
    @spaces3345 6 років тому +2

    Trying to absorb all this info. Facts. Thank you. 😊💯

  • @marthajanet2924
    @marthajanet2924 6 років тому +3

    I wish one day to have a boyfriend like you! Your perfect man!!

  • @sharronperkins44
    @sharronperkins44 5 років тому

    What type of camera are you using? It's really making you look like a star. You are killing it!

  • @asdcxvfdhj
    @asdcxvfdhj 5 років тому

    that place is so beautiful🖤 also alex is so random haha it balances his knowledge

  • @swatisharma5377
    @swatisharma5377 4 роки тому

    The away you add quotient of spirituality and those observatory skill about the surroundings makes your videos learn while having fun...

  • @clarys0622
    @clarys0622 7 років тому

    Thanks Alex, always enjoying ur videos !! Very Helpful

  • @ColaBaby888
    @ColaBaby888 5 років тому +1

    That’s so nice. I’ve never seen a family of turtles before.

  • @taylorbusey4296
    @taylorbusey4296 6 років тому +20

    it kills me every time he does his "girl voice", like i honestly don't know if that his best impression of a womans voice, or if he's making fun of women and making us all sound like a knock of elmo

    • @chisuwochabu250
      @chisuwochabu250 5 років тому +4

      You're too sensitive, his a guy, how do you want him to sound in a woman's voice?

  • @TheMariesunshine
    @TheMariesunshine 5 років тому

    Great video👌🏻🙏

  • @NinaBlow
    @NinaBlow 6 років тому

    Wow this helped me so much! ❤️ Thanks Alex!

  • @Itspaolatina
    @Itspaolatina 2 роки тому

    How Will I meditate when I AM a Christian?

  • @madeinhisimage3447
    @madeinhisimage3447 3 роки тому +3

    Alex’s Girlie voice cracks me up!! 😂 sounds like Elmos GF 🤣

  • @Itspaolatina
    @Itspaolatina 2 роки тому

    2:22 lol

  • @zzzzoooooeet3365
    @zzzzoooooeet3365 4 роки тому +1

    The guy walking behind him like 🚶🏼🚶🏼🚶🏼

  • @angeg100
    @angeg100 4 роки тому

    Beautiful area, why do you use the crag girly voice..so funny 😄😄

  • @aJxxw
    @aJxxw 7 років тому +1

    geese xD * lookin good- likin the shirt. liked the vid (:

  • @kristapav
    @kristapav 7 років тому

    this is exellent !!

  • @humilis42
    @humilis42 4 роки тому

    No he did not curse at the bird for looking at him.... lol
    Love you Alex ❤️

  • @brandonaldaymachuse6669
    @brandonaldaymachuse6669 4 роки тому

    "The little ducking" 😂

  • @rivkaruthgolan
    @rivkaruthgolan 3 роки тому

    Is the riding stable still there? I'm living abroad

  • @rettarere7998
    @rettarere7998 4 роки тому

    The bird is giving you a look? 😂 😂 😂 Oh alex?!!!

  • @folledudesert1146
    @folledudesert1146 4 роки тому

    You’re the best !

  • @bebebklyn9899
    @bebebklyn9899 7 років тому

    this helpd me with one of my questions about my co worker

  • @nehadingwani1173
    @nehadingwani1173 7 років тому

    U r a very good adviser thanku 🙂

  • @teresamartin4735
    @teresamartin4735 7 років тому +1

    LMAO! Alex you are so funny!

  • @phi.const.387
    @phi.const.387 7 років тому +3

    "Call the cops on them." 😂
    P.S. I love your content. 😁 For real, you gave me so many new perspectives. I love people with whom you can have interesting conversations with. 🙂 And it's so few of them nowadays. 🙄😏 So thank you. 🙂

  • @wowso4
    @wowso4 7 років тому

    Great advice

  • @farisfly
    @farisfly 7 років тому

    i learned something today. Thanks

  • @giulias.5104
    @giulias.5104 4 роки тому

    The trees and nature behind you is truly magic. Too bad all those humans moving around! 😉😋

  • @delishaenvy2564
    @delishaenvy2564 5 років тому +3

    Alex i think I'm just gonna have a relationship with mindful attraction lol

  • @MissHoneypuff
    @MissHoneypuff 4 роки тому +1

    I asked a guy if he wanted to meet up with me (twice) , he said "yes" but then when it came to setting a time and place, he was just away...he read my messages and didn't say anything. Sick and tired of that bs with something so simple, I called him out and he said I was bipolar and narcissistic lol I know I'm not but it spoke volumes about himself so byeeee!

    • @ms.dentist
      @ms.dentist 4 роки тому

      Hw can u ask a guy out twice? U lost ur power then and there. What are u doing girl?🤣

    • @MissHoneypuff
      @MissHoneypuff 4 роки тому +2

      @@ms.dentist don't we all make mistakes? That was a long time ago. Have a nice day

    • @ms.dentist
      @ms.dentist 4 роки тому

      @@MissHoneypuff we do..and we all have been there..nice day to u too :)

  • @jennifercreed9116
    @jennifercreed9116 7 років тому

    learning and laughing !

  • @thatgworl2504
    @thatgworl2504 6 років тому +2

    Good advice. I tried this tactic even before watching your video and I don’t think it works for me. He ignored me and I asked him if he was mad and he said no he didn’t care. I think he only wanted me for sex so I just let him go 🤷🏾‍♀️

  • @denisembaez
    @denisembaez 5 років тому

    Insightful

  • @NamakubiGeisha
    @NamakubiGeisha 7 років тому

    couldn't think of the word turtle? must be a hell of a lot going through that head.

  • @Mizzharmzz
    @Mizzharmzz 7 років тому +4

    You should turn around so we can see the lake!!! And the turtles!!! And the geese LOL 😂😂😂 the view is better looking at the lake then the trees and fence lol I love your videos!!! I'm thinking of making a channel for men!!

  • @starchildgoddess_3335
    @starchildgoddess_3335 5 років тому +1

    Gooses?? 😂😂😂

  • @GeminiPeach81
    @GeminiPeach81 6 років тому

    Lmbo 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 at you bucking at the ducks!!

  • @amberherrera3048
    @amberherrera3048 7 років тому +7

    Alex they're not boring creatures get one to bite your hand and then they become interesting creatures! Do it...lmao

  • @Ronda061206
    @Ronda061206 6 років тому

    🤣🤣😂....What he said to those birds! 😃

  • @KomalJhaOnline
    @KomalJhaOnline 7 років тому +15

    Open your heart Rose = Open your legs Rose
    Dear Naive Women,
    Please remember that !!!!
    Thank You🙂

    • @timothymonson9399
      @timothymonson9399 6 років тому

      Komal Jha Message @ Jasperderson on Instagram if you wanna hacking any Instagram, Facebook or Email accounts (except verified accounts). P.S Payment is after you receive proof to confirm account is hacked.

    • @sonias9722
      @sonias9722 5 років тому

      But in this case if Rose would have waited she'd never gotten that d plus she could have died without Jack's help on the boat. In all tragedy, it turned out best for her

    • @blueblaze9862
      @blueblaze9862 3 роки тому

      Or wallet

  • @amanda7444
    @amanda7444 7 років тому +2

    I get where you're coming from, yeah it's true.
    I was involved in a satiation with a guy I very much liked. But the thing is, there were times where I would call him out on his BS. I try to say it in a respectful manner kinda thing. The thing is, he was willing to change but what I ended up doing was backtrack so many times. I was not ready. And I knew if I let him in I would have ended up becoming needy. I was honest with him. But it fucked me over. Cos you know when emotions are involved it may make it difficult. Even though I needed to let go, which he was aware of I wouldn't accept it so it made it worse. Looking back at it now it's funny. At the time... hell no lool. Because I think going into a relationship with expectations is your no.1 sign of letting go and moving on. I don't think it's healthy for both the man and the woman. From my experience I rather let someone go if I cant give them that attraction in a relationship. Because in my opinion it's selfish. I realised I was being extremely selfish at one point, which is disrespectful and unfair. I think it's important for both partners to accept that sometimes going seperate ways is the best decision. Just to avoid this kind of needy behaviour. Easier said than done but makes a difference. Even if one person is ready within a relationship, if the other one isn't ready I think it's important to respect that. We shouldn't wait for anyone to be ready because emotions and feelings may be temporary. I don't think all relationships need to end on bad terms. It doesn't always have to be that someone cheated on someone. There's other ways of showing love.

  • @GG-rw8cz
    @GG-rw8cz 7 років тому +3

    yeah can u please give us some examples of what to actually say in these situations? I liked ur example but i think that only works for guys talking to girls, i don't think a girl should be putting any "lols" in a text to a guy who just stood her up or flaked on her. i think it needs to be more serious, but still detached from the outcome, otherwise he'll think that you think his shitty behaviour is funny/ok. and its fucking not. lol.