I said something embarrassing (in front of a lot of people).
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 лип 2024
- The Ultimate Language Learning Guide → www.brighttrip.com/courses/th...
My newsletter🍦→ www.nathanieldrew.com/newsletter
Instagram → / nathanieldrew_
Listen to the audio version of the podcast → anchor.fm/nobackupplan
My online courses → www.nathanieldrew.com/onlinec...
Patreon → / nathanieldrew
My gear 📷 → www.nathanieldrew.com/my-gear
I grew up with a mom that always told me 'la honte ne tue pas, sinon je serais déjà morte' = 'embarrassment doesn't kill, or else I'd be dead already' and I love that this made me look at embarrassment as a thing that happens often but isn't the end of the world! + I think what we consider to be embarrassing is also hugelyyyy socially constructed!
Well this may sound embarrassing, but you're the only UA-camr I know where I feel that I could genuinely have a friendship/connection with. Every time you talk about a certain topic in a video, I'm like "I wonder what a conversation with you would look like with a cup of coffee or tea where we just talk about life. I feel like that would be really fun." This is probably a classic case of a parasocial relationship, which can also be embarrassing to admit. Oh well, I guess we all have one at some point in our lives 😂🤷♀
That is a very sweet thing to say!! I'm flattered. Who knows, maybe we'll have that cup of coffee together one day.
I often find this kind of “impromptu display gone wrong” most painful for the “perfectionist”.
Especially those of us who spend so much time pre-planning to make it JUST RIGHT and then the one time we don’t plan our speech presentation or whatever the case may be, and we try to speak spontaneously, things go sideways. I think your message here is very powerful for anyone. And especially anyone struggling to just let go.
I love this, I can laugh at this now but I have a worse one!
I was translating in a Mexican university at an event in front of a large group. I translated "berry preserves" into "preservativos de mora"
... I didn't know that "preservativo" in Spanish means "condom"
Geez. You just described my entire school career. Every time i opened my mouth. I stayed quiet for a long time after I graduated. Eventually i got over it and just didnt care what people thought or said. My sisters friend (adults) did that to me a few years ago. I just walked away. Thats her issue not mine, if she feels the need to mock and laugh at someone who doesnt understand or used the wrong terminology in a casual conversation.
Nathaniel, you talk so well bro! You’re a great storyteller
I literally go through this every day and I’m used to seeming stupid to the people around me LOL 😭 but some days I do cry because abuse it’s frustrating
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is really a grand step forward....
Your story reminds of a friend in a grocery store in France wanting to buy Jam/Marmalade and asked for “preservative”…
Very interesting. I wrote down something similar to this. 'Be witty enough to laugh at your own mistakes, otherwise you'd always be too hard on yourself '.
We should learn to isolate and divorce ourselves from our art,work , whatever it is. And he brave enough to suck at something new. That's how we learn. And it may seem embarassing, and it is human nature to laugh at someone making a silly mistake. Most often it is a momentary reflex and no I'll intent is behind it.
Having these retrospective sessions could help a lot in reframing it in our minds and help face similar situations in future
We’re all just floundering through life ❤ thanks for sharing your story Nate :)
When I first came to France, my French mother-in-law would get me to read a book of French expressionisms, and would howl with laughter at my pronunciation of everything. Every time I finished one, she wanted me to read more. Thankfully I was humble enough to oblige, and laughed along with them, although I had no idea how it must have sounded to their ears!
When I visited the in laws at their home, we ate and they offered me dessert and I said I would take a yoghurt, except I wasn't very good at saying "yoghurt" in French. My father-in-law was in hysterics and kept saying, what is it you wanted? Just so I would say it over and over.
i have a similar story, although mine was not french but english.
back in the day when i was a high schooler i took a course for university entry exam in summer, due to our financial situation i only took the course in only two subjects out of seven.
one day the physics teacher(which didnt know me because i wasnt taking the physics course) was standing in the hallway and talking to students, and suddenly i walked by and he said hi to me, my english was really bad at the time, but i could understand everything, he asked me why i am not in his course, i said the truth, but because of my poor english, instead of saying our financial situation is not that good, i said my salary is not that good, which burst everyone into laughter. humilating, i know, but it was an encouraging moment for me to start learning more and practice more.
It's interesting to hear your perspective on this topic, and it's very well summarized. A couple years ago, I started learning French (for fun), and the first year I worked on self study and played around with the language for fun, but the next year, I decided I wanted to dedicate myself to it. So, I started speaking with a native French speaker, and for the first 6 ish months, we just messaged. I quickly learned how embarrassing it can be, and quickly learned how to laugh at myself. I often found it a relief from the pressures of society where, even in school, you HAVE to know something. It was a moment, where I for once, could be ok without knowing something. It felt liberating in a manner, and I think it helped me learn as I learned it from natural incidences - not force feeding myself information. After that, I decided to try and get in a call and try speaking French, and the first time, it was rough, I think I spoke about 4 words in total and because I was so nervous, they didn't even sound right. I actually got mad at myself for fearing embarrassment - and I decided to try it again. The first bit of time, I was terrified, however I reluctantly said 1 word - and realized it's really stupid to be so scared of it. The whole point of being a beginner is to look stupid. I spoke French for about 15 minutes, and it made me realize that it was ok to be embarrassed, but it shouldn't stop me from trying.
One of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to me was in 7th grade. We ended up having a week off of normal gym class to roller skate instead. Without realizing it, the roller skates were located in the girls locker room and no one told me that we didn't have to change our clothes that week for class. Anyway, I had a crush on this boy, and of course, as soon as a bunch of kids filed into the locker room to grab their skates, my locker was right in front of the door where everyone walked in and the only thing I was wearing were these giant mint green grannie panties and the boy I liked was the first person to make eye contact with me. 🤦🏻♀️ Needless to say, everyone in my class made fun of me and it's also something that's just been burned into my memory. 😂
I love this story. It is genuinely packed with so many tiny lessons and powerful sentences. I completely relate to it, but it also gives me a new perspective on the same
I think we stop being so affected by these situations as we get older. As a teenager, specially in school, that would be my worst nightmare. But nowadays I can think of worst things than being embarrassed.
It is a sad reflection on those who are laughing at you instead of helping you - that they are so insecure that they have to be cruel, instead of kind and helpful. In such situations i either literally or just inside my mind walk away. I have always found kinder folk to be with.
Yes! And sometimes you try to straight translate something from your first language and it just doesn't work. You just get blank looks 😂
I’m in acting class right now I’m so new to it, my first class was horrible, I didn’t really know my mates and I would fumble my lines, but it build confidence in me no matter how bad I did I still did it. I’m actually taking action and being vulnerable. Couple months later I am in my second acting class and better than ever, yes I mess up a little by paraphrasing but I am able to still to perform and pull through something I couldn’t do just months ago. Safe to say I’m learning more about myself more than ever I’m taking action to wanting to do something without the fear of being judged or feeling the need to even think what are others opinions of my acting. I just know that one day I’ll be better than ever to perform in film and television.
I have quite often found myself doing things unintentionally that people laugh at. These moments have been kind of an "I love Lucy" moment for me, throughout my life. Usually, I just laugh with them or try to stick to the script or song or whatever but it doesn't bother me. I grew up being a leader of groups, a high achiever and one of the top in my class. I've never really cared what people thought of me but your story gave me a chance to focus on this for a few moments and appreciate your explanations about this situation. Thank you for sharing this discussion with us. I'm a subscriber and will continue to watch.
Bro you think that's embarrassing, on a school trip to Dieppe I got the idea to try and impress the cute girl at the market stall. I was trying to explain why I like to buy fresh ingredients and said "les préservatifs me donnent la nausée". Whatever facial expression you imagine she pulled, it was worse.
Oh, I know the feeling. During my experience as an au pair in France, I once said "C'est le bordel!" (not "le bazard") in front of the kid and he started laughing at me as well as repeating after me in front of his mum! I felt really embarrassed.
I had actually learned the expression from a normal text book in French class in Germany that didn't say anything about how it ultimately qualifies as a swear word...
At least, it's a fun story to tell now, hope the French can forgive me:)
I moved to France 6 months ago, and being able to laugh at myself has made navigating this new language so much more fun. A couple days ago, i was at a store and I didn't know the word for nail polish, so I asked the clerk if they had "peinture des ongles". She giggled and said it was really cute that I said that, and it led me to learn the actual word for it, "vernis." Even if I don't get the same reaction from the French every time I make a mistake like that, I like to think that everyone is secretly encouraging me in my language journey.
I think I finally mastered the art of laughing at myself in the past year, and it feels like I unlocked a new level in life - It truly feels like a superpower.
Also, I find that stories like the one you told about your history class actually help us remember the actual words because they are tied to specific memories. Words that are tied to "embarrassing" memories are the ones I tend to never forget in the long run!
I lived and worked in Japan for 13 years and had some fun embarrassing moments learning the language 100% from exposure.
There is a very bitter drink they havrle before drinking alcohol that's supposed to make hangovers more bearable the next day called, Ukon. A night out with my staff and adult students was well underway and I was drinking quite a bit and they were worried about my hangover the next day, a work day. I let them know not to worry, because I drank my unko for the night.
Unko means poop...
While I've since learned I may be on the spectrum somewhere, I don't tend to get embarrassed much (a part of it) and just roll with it or turn it into my favor, and I let it be my joke in pocket when meeting new people in Japan on a night of drinking.
Language mistakes definitely lead to some moments when we are learning and trying to navigate our native and other languages in our head with the new language.
The laughter and situation is the best lesson for those moments.
Thanks for sharing this one!
So French is "supposedly" my second language, when you said you didn't know what's the word for Assassination in French, I was like: Ha, easy... Assassination! (With a very French accent). And then .. yeah 😂
Honestly that story says a lot more about the people in your class than about you. I’ve made mistakes in French in front of French people and they don’t hesitate to laugh at you, it’s a cultural thing. It’s stuff like that that makes people around the world see the French as rude.
I'm in Canada and have seen people mocking others who don't speak English as their first language. Especially if the person is from an East Asian country, people openly mock their pronunciation of English words without a 2nd thought about how rude it is. It's not just a French thing.
I never had a foreigner in my class but in my country even if you make a mistake as a native they will laugh is just banter is nothing serious
@@coolbreeze5683Well, I don't see that so much in California. Mocking (or laughing at) a person because English is not their first language is not acceptable. And actually would make you look foolish, mean and rude.
Not every people is like this in France. I am Belgian and I used to live in France and now in Spain. In Spain it is very rare toi see people laughing at you because your accent is bad. French people have this kind off "culural" superiority when it´s about the other culture. In the meantime while in France I found also ridiculous the way the French speak English. So don´t pay too attention to these things. Ainsi sont (certains) les français.
@@coolbreeze5683 I’m in Canada too and I haven’t witnessed that. Even the Québécois people are really kind when it comes to these things - I’ve made mistakes in front of Québécois people and they’ve never laughed or even smirked, they’re just happy to hear you trying to speak it. In my experience, that kind of rudeness has only come from French people. This is a generalization of course and not every single French person is like this, I’ve just noticed that French culture seems to treat this kind of behaviour as “normal” or even “authentic”.
Dude, thank you very much. You will never know how much I needed to hear these things.
When I was 16 I visited a friend in Spain and I didn’t know any Spanish at the time but I remeber saying my friends name in an English accent (I did not know how to do a Spanish accent at the time) and they all laughed at me and I felt so bad about it😂 but obviously looking back I don’t think they had bad intentions. And I’ve definitely had the same situation where I laughed at a non native English speaker because I thought what they said was cute but I didn’t mean any harm by it
I wanted to look cool Infront of my crush once so I raised my hands and tried to correct the professor because he made an obvious mistake but the prof didn't take it and he embarrassed me and I felt like dying when I saw my crush taking second hand embarrassment as well
Thank you for letting me talk about it because I never could before, it's still embarrassing..
Nathaniel, it sounds like you have a strong, healthy sense of self and you don't let errors affect your basic sense of your own inherent worthiness. I've found that people who genuinely like themselves (not in an egotistical way) and have a solid sense of what they're about tend to readily admit mistakes and also are able to laugh at their own goofs. By contrast, I've found there are those who need to feel they're above others, need to feel right all the time, and seldom admit mistakes or have an authentic sense of humor about their errors. I think it's likely that those in that second group don't truly feel good about themselves, or they wouldn't have such a need to make others 'less than,' or to deny their own mistakes.
I had the same experience in France last year when I had to rent an apartment, and the agent's name was "Guy," pronounced as "Gee." He used to sign his texts with "M. Guy," and I thought he was trying to be mysterious or it was just a nickname until I went to the agency for paperwork.
When they asked me about the agent in charge, I told them his name, and they burst into laughter. It's spelled Guiiiiii, and it's a family name in France, apparently. 😅
I couldn't help but laugh at myself for imagining an agent trying to be mysterious. Oh, embarrassing!
This video felt like your earlier videos you used to shoot in the forest. 😃
You the man bro!
I used to teach/learn sailing at Club Med back in 1970. I was 25 years old. I blagged my way into the job, and they sent me to the island of Guadeloupe, in the French West Indies. My high school French was not really adequate, but most of the clientele were from the US and Canada. So I spoke English most of the time. My French co-workers would laugh at me, but in fun. If I did not know the word I needed, I would take the English word and wing it. Who knew the French word for vegetable was legume, and not vegetable. It looks French, so why not? It's not like my life depended on the correct word.
I don't think I was ever embarrassed enough to run and hide.
I still can't speak French.
You and your dad are on the life road of quality vs quantity. I love your posts!
I remember when I was learning English . Im french from Quebec , Canada.
People would laugh at me when I would make mistakes. Then I would say
“Ok now you speak french”
And they would shut up.
Laughing at people when they’re trying to speak your language is pretty dumb.
Especially the french from France who most of them cant even pronounce one word in English correctly.
I have alot of french from France friends , and they told me the reason they’re not so good in English, is because they are laughed at and ridicule when they try.
To anyone who reads this, just keep being you and evolve. 🤝🏽💥
And develop that thick skin it will serve you right
I love France and some of my closest friends are French; however, some French people can be very condescending and unkind (related to the education they receive, I believe). In addition, many think they are ALWAYS RIGHT, even when they are not.
Thank you Nathaniel for your vulnerability, courage and dedication to topics that are felt and lived day in and day out - but unfortunately rarely discussed in depth and with honesty in our societies.
I was an exchange HS student in the US coming from from Brazil back in the day. After having taken 2 years of English there I thought I had it going.. boy was I wrong! I found myself crying on the first day of class after everyone had found their homeroom and I was roaming the hallways alone, completely lost - since I could not understand the written nor spoken directions at all! What a rude awakening! I am now learning French and it’s been quite similar. Great way to stay humble and curios though 😅🙌🙏
Ps. Just sent this to my teenage daughter 😉
I was in a one year program to learn business and tech related skills. One day, we had to present our 'elevator pitch' (selling ourselves to hiring companies). I'd worked on mine for quite a while and had perfected it but when it came time to present, I completely choked. Though I'd remembered it word for word, everything was lost to me in that moment.
I took a deep breath and started over from the top, this time making it through. I felt horrible in the end but these were ranked presentations and I was shoked to find that mine was actually rated as one of the better ones; the judges stating that this was simply because I started over rather than quitting in that moment. Taught me a valuable lesson ~ putting oneself out there is bold and sometimes one may stumble or even fall but trying is better than doing nothing at all. Great vid!
An embarrassing experience of mine, in school we had a talent show and me and my friend was "auditioning" in front of my class to be able to participate in the talent show. Only after the performance I found out that the song that I had put on had the lyrics of the song already and our voices were not heard at all, so we had just been standing there and miming for all they knew
Needless to say, we did not make it to the talent show
Bonus is that the song we sang was taken from a Sing game on xbox and not a popular or recent song (honestly not even a good song and for sure not something 12 year olds usually enjoy listening to)
If this is any consolation, I'm French Canadian (Acadian from New Brunswick) and I would say "Assassination" over "Assassinat" 100% of the time. So just know, it's French somewhere!
I have the same story but multiplyed on endlessness. I performed Eminem's Rap God in my classroom but teacher wasn't aware of my plan. It was a russian school btw. So, i thought it would crash my classmates in the way of "omg, how cool is that" but it was a compete silence. It have taught me: a) don't have expactations b) i don't give a f@$% about performing in front of ant ppl or discussing anything with anyone. What doesn't kill us, makes us strongef. Goodluck
I was in Hamburg Germany and was friends with a woman who had a four year old daughter. After listening to me for a minute she asked her mom if I was stupid. Ha! Ha!
Embarrassment is actually fear. Our survival instincts are so very strong, and they tell us we could be seen as low-ranking in the group. This means we might not gain the belonging that will ensure our protection from the group as well as getting precious resources. On a real level we haven't evolved as much as we would like to think.
When you told your story I was thinking about the gift you gave to the whole class and the teacher and that was a good laugh. Here everyone is in school, in history class and it's dull and boring etc. and here you make everyone laugh and basically that laughter released a lot of happy hormones for everyone. I get that at that age it would be quite embarrassing having the whole class AND the teacher laughing at you. As you said if you had the skills you could have taken a bow or somehow transitioned that faux pas into having people want to be around you because you made them laugh. Think of all the comedians especially the straight faced ones and how people pay to go get a good laugh. It makes us feel good. In the end you brought some levity to an otherwise unremarkable unmemorable day of class.
Here's an embarrassing story (that I found so awkward, I had to make a joke of it to my family that same night):
I live by a harbor in SoCal (on an island inside of the harbor) and I would routinely visit the boat docks to enjoy the view. Around sunset, I made my way down to one of the docks (nicknamed the "Sabot Garden", because of the Sabot sailboats) and read on the bench overlooking the water. Behind me, I heard a few shouts about falling, and then I heard tires screech. I looked around, and I realized it was just an E-biker skidding to a stop, about mid-way through the Sabot Garden. I would have resumed my reading, but he called out to me: "Hi, it's a nice view, right." I agreed, and then we recognized each other:
"I've seen you before. Hi, I'm Scott," he said.
I put down my book and walked towards him to shake his hand, and introduce myself (still deeply thinking about what I was reading). Then, as I neared Scott, I realized how awkward it was that I hadn't said anything this whole time; so as I shook his hand I was still thinking over how strange my walk up to him was. Then, I realized that I'd given him the weakest handshake, and starting thinking about that. So, as he turned and left with a "See ya, Wyatt",
I said "Bye, SKIIEEMPH-FF!"
Skieemph-ff (and I said it loudly, because I had turned away by then).
"No. Its Scott. Scott," he shouted back.
My tongue must have slipped, since I had way to much on my mind, but still...How do you get "SKIEEMPH" from Scott? It doesn't get such more awkward than that. After that, I kept my reading indoors, and whenever Scott walks by I secretly call him "Skieemph" (even though I make a point of saying "Scott"). 🤣😂🥲
I have no idea why they laughed. Its not such an extreme mistake. Weird.
Looks like a lovely place
another banger video
You mentioned having wanted to look good in front of fellow students, or something to that effect. I am wondering if there is a connection between having had that goal and feeling embarrassed when things didn’t work as planned. Would you have felt as embarrassed otherwise?
I like you vlogs. Always interesting stuff. I completely understand, how you felt. I lived as a child along the French border to Germany and French would always make fun of me, speaking out French words.
Older now I understand that French are really proud about their language, they have a kind of word police, who takes care about the language.
They even have a law, that the radio stations need to play a certain amount of French songs, to protect the French language in public entertainment.
I like the country and the people, but sometimes they are a bit obsessed with their language.
Germans are in this a lot easier, or Society takes easily words over from other countries. So many foreign words are implemented every year, since people use it in daily life. I think that’s a better way to implement foreign words, instead of excluding them and create a word in the own language.
There's a popular breakfast food in South India called 'Idli'. In 4th grade, we were each reading a paragraph from a chapter in English class. The word 'idly' came up. I've never seen that word before, let alone knowing how to pronounce it. So I pronounced it just like I'd pronounce idli. The teacher corrected me and started laughing. The rest of the class, who also didn't know how to pronounce it until the teacher said it, also started laughing. I ended up not making close friends with any one of em till like the 10th grade lol 💀
The problem I have with people laughing at others who say or do something incorrectly is they are implying someone is stupid or not intelligent rather than just unfamiliar. I taught nursing school and faculty and hospital nurses would belittle students- I was fiercely protective of my students; I told them to "reply I am intelligent, but unfamiliar and you were unfamiliar at one point in your life, too." Never elevate yourself by lowering others, it is mean and a sign of insecurity. Corrections delivered kindly are fair, though. Regarding thar French class, I hope they teach the students the American military helped save their country in WW II...or they might be speaking German now.
People are laughing at me too, buddy. I consider at a compliment esp. when I think they must know about my website, so I just join them in their joy. 👁🤣
Become a middle school teacher. Bam. Embarrassment muscle developed.
Seriously, language learning is about being prepared to make a fool of yourself and accepting that is the difference between successful and struggling learners. In Prague instead of offering help I offered to pee because of my confusion of the two verbs in Czech. I have countless similar stories in the many countries I've lived in. It is pretty funny! In Khmer language I'm struggling to order noodles because I keep accidentally saying "Go f*** yourself!" Who knew!?😊
You know what they say in French, 'le ridicule ne tue pas'.
WHAT LENS DO YOY USE FOR THIS ?
Hi there! He has a link to his gear in the info box under the video. If you click on ‘more’ under the video, you should find the link. 😊
As a French, I feel the need to apologize to all of you in the comments who have shared your story involving French people. We love to tease and taunt each others but not to hurt. Also, we are so bad at speaking English, maybe we are just jealous of you native English speakers. I love you all ❤
You can speak perfect French to French people and they will turn up their nose and say " can you say it in English!? "
There's a great clip of Timothée Chalamet on stage, he's tipping his chair backwards and falls over in it. The audience laughs, of course, but then he so smoothly goes "oh no, how embarrassing, how will I ever recover?!" while laughing at himself.
Found it: v=jkblpon3C50&t=480s
They should laugh! Most French speakers can't pronounce any other language without sounding French. If anything, "assassination" was an educated guess.
I think it's also worth saying that kids are brutal, and while that tends to wear off by later school years, it takes time for some. Had you been in a different situation only a couple years later, making that same mistake wouldn't have been quite so embarrassing. In my experience, once you're out of school people don't tend to openly make fun of little mistakes. All it would've taken is someone, perhaps the teacher of the class, to politely correct you - which in itself can be a little embarrassing, but still nowhere near as much
4:3 goes hard
Said something embarrassing........I do it all the time. And in English.
Why is France obsessed with America? I found that when I went to France. Especially French teens. They love American fast food.
People really give a shit about being embarrassed when saying something wrong, especially in a language one isn’t familiar with? I say stupid shit constantly when travelling that I get so much slack and sometimes sympathy that they go above and beyond in helping me. Short version: get over yourself.
Gosh, and that didn't even have a different meaning; it was just a non-word. Speaking from experience the French are a tough crowd.
You're very diplomatic 😅
🥹
That skill comes with a bit of age. At some point, you truly do not give a flying F about what people think of you (at least that’s how it evolved for me ). And, that is supposing that you’re a nice person.
xxxx
Really disappinted that this whole video is a veiled advertisement. I usually really enjoy your insights. This vid is a bit of a sellout.
biw
Your parents cope with embarrassment every single day when they look at your baby photos
algorithm boost comment