A Different Way To Look At Failure
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- Опубліковано 12 лип 2024
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The Buddhists say that any time we suffer misfortune, two arrows fly our way. The first arrow is the actual bad event, which can can, indeed, cause pain. The second arrow is the suffering, which we put upon ourselves.
A different perspective on the same insight. Short, simple, and helpful reminder Nathaniel! :)
That's brilliant!
This story is interesting. I want to keep that in mind 🏹🏹
Yes, I agree. In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which is an evidence based psychological therapy, which also has parts of its origin in Eastern philosophies) they say you have 'clean pain' and 'dirty pain' to pinpoint the difference between the actual event of 'failure' and all the thoughts that come after it. You can train yourself to observe when you are doing the dirty pain part.
I like how free and open this channel has become, it's refreshing to watch content that isn't always focused around some kind of algorithmic optimization. Failure is always a tricky subject to tackle, but your simple drawing did a great job at helping me visualize what's truly going on. btw, I loved the overhead camera angle!
True
Here’s a scientific lense through which to reconsider this concept:
Another way to understand this is to think about the immune system’s inflammatory response to foreign invaders like viruses.
Get this... It’s NOT the virus that causes symptoms of illness. Instead, it’s the body’s inflammatory response to the virus.
The precipitating reaction (our psychological pain, the immune system’s inflammatory response, etc.) ultimately causes pain. Not the original event.
...I don’t know about anyone else, but that makes me feel hella powerful. Be mindful of your reaction, and you can affect massive change.
Thanks Nathaniel for another great video. I love the imagery-it’s so useful to rexamine ideas through different lenses.
I Just failed at an entrance exam so this is much needed. Idk why but u always seems to get me🙏👍 tysm
yoo, same here :/
Same here!!! Haha this message was so comforting!! Haha I am not alone on this xD
@@gloomyliar It's OKAY . Don't give up. Embrace it ❤️
Yeah right? ☺
Whatever you’re pursuing you can absolutely accomplish! and I hope you will either do crush your exams or find a new path 🤗
"a failure is only defined by as such by the actions taken after the fact"
by Nathaniel drew
Lately I came to a conclusion that fit in this theme, "Its not about what happens to you, its the way you react to it"
Bad things will always happen but we can manage to get through it
Cheers from Portugal
hoping for a ‘concept’ video on languages/language learning and how that can influence our perceptions and lived experiences with other cultures.
That is an excellent idea....
@@nobackupplan thank you! I think what would make this even more interesting is your unique perspective as a child of immigrant parents to the US that has now moved *back* abroad. exploring the language you grew up hearing at home versus when you moved to Mexico (did Mexican culture influence or change your perspective of yourself or the Spanish language as an Argentinian American, etc.), and now that you’re living in Paris - what is it like speaking French and living in France as an “American”? especially since you have likely experienced such solidarity with French people, given that you’ve endured two ‘confinements’ during your time there. so much complexity and nuance to explore with this!
Oh this would be wonderful! I vote for this! 🥰
@@nobackupplan I'd love to hear your view on this too!
Check out a book called Through the Language Glass (2010). Hits on some of these ideas.
This channel is underrated.
Do u know he has another channel!
in and of itself
That's not always a bad thing.
@@LisaNordlicht so true 🙌
still hoping to buy this man a cup of coffee one day...adding to the bucket list.
Me too 😇
I really like how you look at failure. Personally, the biggest thing I add to my failure is the fear of trying again. I also love your idea of the bigger the failure, the bigger the potential growth. It's kind of like how refreshing cold water is greatly depends on how hot your current environment is. (Also, by the way, I would love a new series of videos called Morning Brew with Nathaniel Drew...😂) Thanks, man. I wish you all the best!
You'r new glasses seems COOL MAN😎😎
Becoming more aware of all my psychological BS has literally been life-changing. I love the way you visualized this concept of "failure", I can see it becoming a mental picture I return to when I feel myself being sucked into anxiety or regret.
I can relate to this comment in so many ways... It's like thinking about thoughts like something that just happens to us. It doesn't have to control us.
I like how this channel feels like a safe space away from the pressure of fighting with the algorithm. I guess that itself makes it outstanding. Thanks for taking us on a trip through your thoughts Nathaniel!
love the new glasses. love the new outlook on life post social media purge. mad respect to uploading 4 videos in one week. Nathaniel, you are a gentleman and a scholar! now let me finish watching..
your drawing reminded me of a quote i like to think of when i’m overthinking and creating the second negative loop.
“people who stress themselves out suffer twice”
we’re all going to suffer once from the negative thing that happens but we don’t have to make it worse. and like you mentioned we can ever make it better by learning from our mistake and becoming better from it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON THAT KEPT ME ALIVE THIS YEAR. THANK YOU NATHANIEL.
Same thing!! I found nathaniel's channel in march this year. His content has healing effect
This was awesome!
I’ve been trying for a while now to build this idea into my mindset too: instead of feeling sorry for myself after I failed, instead of going over my mistakes all over again in my mind, I realized that it’s so much better to look at the failure as a mean of learning something.
Ok, I did something wrong, I failed. But I can’t change the past, so how can I use this failure in my advantage in the future? See what I did wrong and be careful next time so I don’t repeat the same mistakes.
And a quote that I saw recently and really loved, that goes well with what I said: “A mistake made more than once is a decision.”
Great video and great ideas, my dude! 👏🏽
This video helped me right here and now deal with a failure, so thank you!
I feel like its related to "opportunity
mindset" instead of overthinking the past.
I think that helps to take that advantage of failure .
I’ve been working on appreciating my life and time for the last year and I felt like I did some improvement on all that. However now that I got COVID I suddenly realized that I was failing on many ways, because I was putting so many excuses to do some things that are important to me. So don’t waste your time guys, it’s limited and many times we take it for granted. Time and health shouldn’t be taking for granted never. Appreciate them 👍🏻
you're so inspiring and i'm crying.
You're not alone friend!
I’m seeing people mention concepts talking about language, which I would definitely like to see, but they also made me think of another possible concept. How where you live changes perspectives on life and even maybe social status and how it affects one’s lifestyle. Seeing as you’ve lived in many places, I’d like to see what you think about the topic :)
I really like this visualization. I think that the dotted line go up, but then stay up and have the solid ‘life’ line continue at that level.
I think that since you are learning from these failures and dips, you can apply them to your life and get at a higher level :)
I've failed big and I'm really depressed right now. Thank you for this 🙏🏿
Every time I'm watching one of your videos, I'm feeling a kind of sadness because I'm not one of your friends. Because everything you're talking touches me deeply as it is how I'm thinking. In those times of isolation due to covid and virtual socialisation which leaves me with a non-satisfied felling you make my day. A deeply thank you for sharing your thoughts !!!!!!
The older brother I always wanted but never had ❤
This man gets me every time I'm struggling with something, as if he knew what I'm going through and posted a video in response to a possible solution, I love it.
Nathaniel, can you still speak Spanish well? Are you managing to keep up with all your languages?
I think it would be cool if you did a video about maintaining languages one day... Just an idea.
Thanks for the upload.
Would love to see this!!!
Yeah for sure!!
Same, I've been teaching myself Spanish for 3 months and there's definitely times Idk what else to do and kinda fall off. Would love to see his look into fixing that :o
Yeah absolutely. He must have loads of ideas about learning romance languages by now; his abilities just blow me away.
Can we all agree Nath should do a few more videos on language learning? I'd definitely love to see it haha!
@@nobackupplan Please make some more language learning videos. How about learning Arabic,Greek,Romanian or Dutch. I am so amazed at how many languages you have learnt in such a small space of time, keep up the good work.
P.S
I am glad you are making new content again, I really missed that feeling when you change my perception of this crazy world we live in. Thanks so much.
Thanks bro u helped me cope with my big fail of the past! (:
This is so true! Failure in and of itself doesn't have to be a bad thing, as long as we choose not to wallow in negative emotions after experiencing a setback.
I've noticed that sometimes I'm good at bouncing back from failure, while other times I get really caught up in emotional insecurities. It's just something that I need to work on!
This idea of failure being dependent on our reaction rather than an actual occurrence is such an interesting one! As humans I think we're draw to labels and categories as they make abstract concepts communicable, but retrospective labels such as failures can lead to feelings of stagnancy as we cannot go back in time to change the event we deem a "failure". If we reframe our understanding of failures as reactions rather than events, suddenly we are no longer focusing on something that is objectively unchangeable but falling back into the present, the only moment we really have control of. Loved this video :)
Wow, the way you worded this was beautiful. It’s natural for humans to always want to have control of their life, we we get uneasy when there is no control. If our energy from failure is focused on our reaction to the little dip in the line rather than the dip itself (the present rather than the past), then we do have control over our failures.
I consider you a modern day philosopher, but at the level of Plato
Yeah i also think he's one of the most "philosophical" channel in UA-cam, but someone once said that a philosopher is whoever defines himself as one
@@federicograziani6160 I agree with the last sentence but for me he is
@@ufoinboxes1802 yes for me too, i hope he will write some books in the future
Facts
@@federicograziani6160 yes, me too
The most important thing is to see failures as what they really are, without exaggeration.
And then you realize that it's not so bad.
It's not a question of changing our perceptions, but of no longer having perceptions and seeing life as it is.
Leaving our ego aside
It reminded me of Seneca's words: ''Everlasting misfortune does have one blessing, that it ends up by toughtening those whom it consistently afflicts''
I am one of your long term silent appreciater, but today I thought I should say this that you are a nice combination of a child and a grown old man who is spending his youth. And to let you know I have almost watched your every video and looking forward for new content as the way you present your stories/ideas is really fascinating.
The only channel I actually search up by name!
I literally just got my midterm results and even though I didn’t fail I just felt like a failure..because I didn’t reach my goal. Thank you for this it came at the right timing I’ll keep rewatching this to remind me everytime I fail at reaching a goal that it isn’t the end of the world!
There is also the influence of the people around you. When quarantine happened, my living condition changed and now I am surrounded by different people. This, I have noticed has completely changed the way I think and also the things I consider as a failure
I had a wonderful conversation with one lady the other day. She taught me to understand the word FAIL as a "First Attempt in Learning". This simple insight completely changed my mindset about failure & success and showed that failing is just a part of my journey. We will get where we want to get one day, but just not immediately. Thanks for the video, Nathaniel.
Honestly thank you for this because I’m someone who really shuts down and gets embarrassed when I fail. Or I get really unmotivated and won’t want to keep going on projects I’m trying out. I think looking at it this way actually drawn out on paper is so much easier than just hearing “failure is an opportunity to grow!” And leaving it at that. failure only hurts because we cared about whatever it was we failed at but it hurts nonetheless
I often wake up just before the alarm clock forcibly does it for me. In those minutes of waking I'm able to very clearly visualise ideas and projects, and have them structured and organised in my mind before the chaos and noise of the day has any chance to interfere. Failure for me is letting too many distractions impede me from my goals, but I've also learnt to be forgiving to myself as well - all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
This year has been really hard for me actually and the concept of failure has been the reason for that. I spend the majority of the year writing my thesis and I finished it in September. I am really proud of my work but I didn't do very much besides it and I have this huge feeling of failure because I am 23 and I feel like even if I have a really good piece of work done, I didn't experience all the things I should in the whole year. The video gave me some clarity about my thoughts and I really appreciated the concept you developed, so thank you for that!!
Hi Nathan! A few thoughts/suggestions on this video:
- This is such a cool way to share ideas! As a visual learner, seeing you draw out failure stuck a new mental image into my brain that I'll likely find myself pondering over for the next few days.
- In the video segment where you were cutting between drawing and explaining your drawing, it would be helpful to have the view of your notebook on the screen even while you're explaining it, so we can reference the image while you are explaining it.
- Definitely going to check out Morning Brew! I've also been trying to find a news source that isn't immensely overwhelming.
Thanks for always putting out awesome content!! My brain loves this kinda stuff :D
I feel that "failures" and "successes" are more like labels that have been given to situations. Things that help us define the situations in a more contextual manner. But I strongly feel that it helps a lot if these situations are taken as experiences rather than states of being. I think context is important here.
Ugh you are so goddamn attractive, Nathan. I don't mean in the traditional sense of looks (but it definitely includes that too ;)) but it's in the way you carry yourself. Your new energy that's tackling your old anxieties emanates and shines through the screen. There's seriously a new sparkle to you, and it's magnetic. You care a lot about what other people think, but you're now much more confident in not letting that control and restrict you. You're using information from your external world to empower yourself and in turn empower us.
You sound so much more refreshed and happy now. I can almost hear a skip to your step in the way you speak. We really love to see it, Nathan! Here's from another stranger across the world growing in her 20s with you!
I love how this felt like a lecture on life.
1. What's the one thing you like most about the personal development niche?
2. What kind of videos would you like to see more on UA-cam?
I'm doing a bit of research and I'd appreciate your help.
Thank you so much.
If you are not failing frequently, you're not trying anything new or daring. Fail fast, fail forward. Thanks Nathaniel.
You inspire so much❤️ literally obsessed with your channel ✨
I really needed this. Thank you!
I realized while working on my poetry senior thesis that I regret the way the entire thing was structured. Because I kept trying to make it argumentative the poems ended up seeming almost defensive in a way that felt uncomfortable, like I was trying to justify or validate my own existance in some way. At first I viewed this as a semester long failure until i realized that I could simply write about the process and add a critique of the poems and a collection of ways I might make them better which, as far as my Professor is concerned, only elevates the legitimacy and quality of the work. So, I suppose, this was me making this ideology actionable. Thanks for the video though!
Thanks. I'm looking forward to more of these episodes.
This was incredible. We need more conversation like this.
Looking forward to the rest of the series!
I think I really needed this video.
Today I had my first flute lesson with my teacher after a long time of not playing the flute beacuse of school.
I was 'd'ucking scared. And mostly because of that fear of teachers I played really, really bad. Of course I wasn't completely ready. But still if I was a bit more confident in my skills, just in myself I would have played the way more better.
That was a big failure. The teacher's sight, my father trying to make excuses of me. The understanding that my skills became level down. Or two levels down.
I felt so frustrated that even was thinking of giving up on everything I made through a lot of years. Beacuse of somebody's else bound and pressure, because of my fear of that pressure (I had a teacher who was literally torturing me every lesson and it had kind of an affect, traumatic experience on me) and also because I haven't paid enough attention to my passion.
The most funny thing is what on concerts, on stage and even on serious competitions I can play REALLY well and even take the first place as I did lots of times, but when it comes to playing with teacher I can't even play basic things no matter how I try so teachers start looking at me like I'm subnormal...
I think I really need to stop being afraid of teachers and become more confident in myself and my skills, cause I literally have it, but can't use it, improve it and bc of that I can't learn new skills.
Thank you, Nathaniel! You made me to look at the situation from another angle.❤️
Love Concepts! Do more of them Nathaniel! Super Super cool ❤️
*Look at it in a “Learning” perspective* 🙏
Thank you Nathaniel for sharing this with us ❤️
Always watching your videos, and here I am again. So brilliant Nathan!
Once again a *BIG* _Thank You_ for making these Nathan!
Loved this so much.
Thank you, I needed this. I had accepted an extra project a bit ago at work and yesterday I had to say I couldn’t get it done in time due to other added work. I hated sending that email as I felt like a failure. Seeing the exaggerated dip and the potential growth afterwards, is very inspiring and is helping me out of that dip and finding ways to make that growth.
LOVED this
Last week I failed an important test, for which I wasn't that prepared, but I was confident that I could pass it. But moment I failed it, I realized that I actually wanted to fail it because of my greater potential to learn even more about that subject. It feels kinda strange, but I see it like a balance of energy: you have to get bad energy to be able to make up for it and even surpass that in positive energy, giving you not only a way back to how things where at the beginning, but also the grit to do more, like a snowball effect. Besides that, being such an anxious person, I get so much relief when I actually accept that I can also fail, making me more comfortable to get back on track and climb up the ladder.
quality content! loved the concepts series. rock onnn
Loved this video! I really like this as a series idea! Plus the straight forward title of CONCEPTS just rings so well
One of my biggest failures was having my family invest in a start-up that I was involved in. We ended up getting scammed by the CEO, when he essentially paid himself the entire investment. I spiraled in shame and embarrassment for a while. But what I chose was to take full responsibility and what I learned was invaluable. 1) I realized why I'd missed all the red flags-- it was because I desperately wanted what he was saying to be true and 2) my family loves me even in failure (which was something I'd always doubted, but no longer do). Your explanation perfectly describes this experience and is helping me articulate it looking back. Thank you.
this is such a great way to describe something ive been seeing happen in my head for a long time, thank you so much. when i try to think about stuff ive done wrong, i always come up with ways i could've done it better and just keep spiralling into that. showing us what it looks like in the bigger picture and fitting the concept into something brains can handle is just honestly so useful in the path towards being better. thank you for reminding me to get out of the pit ive dug myself into and looking up to the future.
(man you are so right about thoughts being so hard to accurately articulate,,guess i'll practice it more now :] ) great video, my guy!
your videos comfort me
Love this style of video. It's cool to have the casual visual aide as well. Keep them coming!
Thanks for dealing with this topic. I've just watched your video, and it's exactly what I need today (I'll be assessed for work tomorrow afternoon, and I needed someone to remind me that when I'll be done I'll be done with that, and that if it does not go as I planned, it's still fine, my life is not at stake).
This channel is gold
i really needed this today. thanks
This came at a time when I needed this, so thank you for sharing your perspective! Been going through a
lot of failure lately so having this other perspective certainly helps!
Glad you're back. ♡ Regarding the news - newsletters are awesome! I subscribed to a few on business, marketing, tech and investing. They're always written in the context of current affairs so you know what's going on in the world but without getting overwhelmed.
This video is soo beautiful!! Thank youu for thiss!! It’s really helpful!!❤️😍
Nathaniel, thank you for your positive energy! So pleasant watching your videos these days! 🙏😊
Thank you for making this! I like concepts
I was thinking if in every failure we need to actually search for something to take from it. Maybe we don't need always to find a meaning behind it. I don't know is just a thought, cause it seems that even if we fail we have to find a lesson and a meaning to it that in some cases is true and should be done but not everytime is needed
@Noa I think that there is some people who just have a failure and can overcome it easily and not have any underlying negative feelings around that failure but I think that in this video Nathaniel tries to address those who do experience this negative reaction after a failure and advices that instead of waiting for it to go away and continue with life as it was that they instead untangle the feeling after the failure that will, in the long run, save you a lot of pain (for lack of a better term).
Amazing vid, nathan. Creative explosion, indeed. Keep it up ❤
Liking this positivity Nate, beautiful music too. Good man.
Exactly the same concepts apply to "success". It is just as possible to fail to integrate success into one's life as is failure.
Sometimes what you add to it makes the dip not only deeper but also wider, extending the time you need to recover and setting you back for much longer
I'm really so glad to get to see this creative burst on your channel. Your videos have really been helping me navigate my own personal growth. I really love seeing the work you do because it reminds me that I have a lot more options for success that what is presented to me by others. Thanks for the content!
I like the idea of you making a series of videos about different ideas/ concepts. Looking forward to seeing the next one :)
I have a notebook just for thats concepts. Before i talk with my self for lighten my mind, so i changed for a notebooks and since i changed i never seen before someone talk about this, i throught it was just me.
This is amazing Nathaniel!! Thank you so much for sharing how you look at failure and thank you for the easy to understand information in a short amount of time. I love how you break this subject down. Looking forward to seeing more of these type videos!! Much love
Such a great idea for a video, the visuals help a lot!
Thank you so much for the "Morning Brew" as well as your newsletter! Looking forward to it!
I love the illustration aspect of this! Looking forward to more videos in this series!
I enjoy every second of your daily videos , keep going Nath ✨👏👏
I'm really enjoying watching all your videos, but these are my favorite/ the philosophical questions ( if you want to call it that) present things we all think about but are too afraid to search for answers, mostly because we end up with more questions. I love this idea of concepts.
I opened up UA-cam and the first thing which I wanted to do was to check your channel. That is what my soul was aiming for today. I don't know if it´s the serenity of your videos or how visually pleasing they are or the clarity with which you can share your thoughts (or probably all together). Thank you for bringing us meaningful content that matters ♥
nathan u are a saviour for so many people that might be feeling low. very inspiring and a positive outlook as always!
wow, as I watch more of your videos I kinda start to understand this way of life. I integrated this ....style...sort of... into my life for about 2-3 years and I had a huge amount of improvment. What I really wanted to say is that with this way of thinking I started understand your videos way better now. I feel like I can predict what you are about to say just from the title. Keep up the good work.
Great video as always! I feel that this mindset to take a different approach to failure also takes a strong growth mindset that is willing to grow from failures. Improving my growth mindset has been super beneficial recently and it certainly makes past failures seem like a small blip in retrospect. Failure is always a taboo subject because our society looks down on failure (even though we all fail, all the time). Thanks for making this video, it certainly put a lot into perspective
Been thinking this all for so long but could not explain it as elegant as you just did! And LOVE the graph.
This is incredible I love this.
'If it's mentionable, It's manageable' - Mr.Rogers!
In discussing your failures (even if that is to yourself) you reduce the mental grip they have on you. That dip becomes way less deep if we can articulate why we think we failed. Then hopefully we can learn and bounce back up with new understanding!
Excited for Concepts! Been with your main channel since 10k subs, man. You've affected how I think and some of the decisions I've made in my life. You have a powerful voice. Thanks for doing what you do!
Another amazing video! Fascinating how ideas in our head once articulated become different. I almost feel like they lose some of their integrity once shared but like you mentioned have greater potential to be improved and refined.
Amazing! I love conceptual analysis please follow this train of thought!
wow I loved the video. The concept of failure, how you made it seem not life ending at all, but something to take as growth potential. I am really looking forward to see more of these videos. Also the filming style, so beautiful :)