I think you outlined very well what brings about a sense of 'lagom' :) I like all my supplements in the morn. Spirulina, zinc/selenium, milk thistle extract, magnesium etc. All those superfoods help as well. I eat most of the top 30 ones.
I am 33 and had a meltdown at work due to overwhelm from stresses at work and at home in my personal life. This happened twice and right after I started to have videos about autism appearing over and over my feeds on instagram and UA-cam. The more I watched the more I realized how closely I related to issues autisic individuals had. I realized I have also been dealing with these issues, but only lately I have realized I probably have Autism and ADHD combined. Ovbiously not diagnosed...yet, but I am hoping to get there and get properly assessed. But yeah it was pretty intense of a realization to hit me. I honestly don't know how I have managed to keep a job for so long, 6 years so far. But my anxiety is growing worse.
Hey Amy! Wow, I felt so much emotion reading your comment, thank you for sharing some of your story - I hear you 💛 You’re incredibly strong and driven for pushing through with work and all your other life achievements, whilst experiencing such intense anxiety. I am certain that everyone here can relate and you are part of a very large % of people who go through the same silent hell for much of our lives. Life can feel so spiky and overwhelming - like crawling face first into a thorn bush naked some days 🥲 If you think getting a diagnosis will help deffo go for it - it can be very useful for better support at work for example and in feeling more confident to open up those types of conversations. It’s not easy and it can feel very vulnerable but in reality it’s strong as hell. Daring to advocate for ourselves whaaaat?? Learning to put my needs first has been life changing. Saying no to things that don’t feel good, such as large social gatherings - and saying yes to more gentle things that bring me joy! Even if it doesn’t look as glamorous to the outside world. Check out r/autisminwomen on Reddit if you’d like to find some likeminded people - it’s a very supportive space and I personally found a lot of self acceptance from reading so many similar stories. This journey itself can feel overwhelming at times but it gets so much easier once we lean into self acceptance, learn what works for us and maybe even seek out a few neurodivergent friendships (even online). It’s a good way to start letting go of that ‘alien’ in our own life sort of feeling. You’re awesome & I hope with this new information, that you create a life that feels just as awesome too! Woop! 🙌🏼 ✨
The inexplicable nausea immediately after, or even during, socialising with people you really love, is a really hard thing to get your head around. It's really useful to hear that other people experience this. Balancing being lonely at home with how tiring socialising is is really hard.
I hear you! I have to say though, since learning about all this and leaning into creating a more ‘comfy’ life. I feel much less lonely in my own company. In fact.. I don’t think I get lonely often at all. I would like some more close female friendships but I’m certain it will come in time. As long as I just practise being me and doing things I like doing. We’ll get there! 😊
Got my ADHD last year and Autism this year at 38. The contradictions between the two used to make me think I was a psychopath. Like: I thrive in a routine but struggle to follow plans.. I get angry when friends are late but I struggle to arrive on time.
funny, we have the same timeline, only i'm 50. i wanna say "i see a pattern there", but everyone here will say "duh!", and that will make me giggle, because we have found our tribe... ❤
This. Totally, all this. I relate. I’m always late but hate for anyone else to be 🙄. Still learning as I was also recently diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. Be kind to yourself!
@@kompisworld it’s just insane isn’t it ? and then we constantly beat ourselves up internally because we recognise the Incongruent behaviour but can’t explain it and assume we are just crazy and bad individuals, filled with guilt and shame 😢 but when we get diagnosed it all begins to make sense, we can at least begin to understand ourselves and attempt to mitigate some of the behaviours and slowly begin to feel better about ourselves.
I had a breakdown at 51 only to discover I had inattentive ADHD, high functioning autism, and dyscalculia. I’m an engineer for a Japanese manufacturer … life has always been like walking through Treacle 😢
I hear you, mine happened at 32 after a painful ‘career’ in London. Complete life melt down. Same happened to my mum when I was a teenager and it’s very real indeed. My point is this happens to most of us undiagnosed adults and you are completely normal for being hugely overwhelmed. The world is crazy and now we’re learning that there are far, FAR more autistic people than previously thought. My guess is that we are actually a very large % of the population and it needs to be opened right up and looked at properly. Something isn’t right within our healthcare systems and people are suffering unnecessarily as a result. I hear you and I have no doubt life has been really hard - you deserve better. I hope things keep moving in the right direction. Wishing you all the best Jason!! 🙌🏼
Woah how did you manage to become an engineer and stay an engineer? I have dyscalculia too and I imagine getting through an engineering degree would make my brain hurt lol
@@green--apple it was hard, really really hard. I had to learn basic maths at the age of 26. I never understood how things actually worked, I couldn’t and still can’t transpose formula I still can’t do simple division or multiplication. I had to memorise enough formula combinations or cheat by engraving them on my ruler / calculator cover etc and still barely passed with a total score of 42%. Job wise … I rarely needed complex math or when there is a need, software and the internet is what I use. Bizarrely I was great at Physics and due to my Autism and INTP personality type I can fathom complex theory and find root cause solutions to mechanical and process problems with ease and precision 🤷♂️
Just before my 54th birthday I received my "gifted AuDHD" diagnosis: a!most friggin killed me. That said, I'm so much more impressed with my survival and, what turns out to be, a lifetime of (unskilled) self advocacy.
@ornag5046 absolutely awesome perspective and mirrors my own. Living as a sensitive person (simply existing and surviving), in today’s world - translates to strong as heck! The fact you’ve reached that perspective tells me you’ve come far. Dare to share your light in small or big ways, the ripple effect is much needed in todays world 🌞✨
I was diagnosed with autism last year and ADHD yesterday and this video was soon relatable and a good reminder to focus on the imporance of prioritising my needs and sensitivities and not just trying to push through everything to prove I can be a "proper adult"
Oh wow, what a journey! Well done on what must have been a challenging time - big congrats. I’m glad I could lend a helpful reminder. We all fall under the spell of a sick society, cramming ourselves into boxes we have no business even paying attention to. ‘Little me’ is in charge now and it’s my job to flow through her and guide her. Adulting-schmadulting 😜 Love to you, friend! 🫶🏼
OMG! There's so much I relate to, but this" "It's not that I don't like people; it's that I don't like how my brain reacts to them sometimes"! This NAILS it for me! I am such a recluse and this is why.
I, too, struggle in many of the same ways. I'm over 200 days sober, I also used alcohol as a crutch to be "fun," self-soothe for anxiety, and force myself to be social more. I would not say I was out of control or ruining my life, but I certainly was using it to cope. It was unhealthy. I'm really struggling with completing projects at work and being social. I'm undiagnosed but took an impromptu test for autism online and scored sort of high. I can relate to everything you said, from self hate to selfish partners/friends, just absolutely everything. I really need to do the formal testing.
Congrats on being sober for so long! I'm just shy of a year myself. Used alcohol for exactly the same reasons, and to suppress my panic disorder. Just wanted to say keep it up, you got this!
@Pierogi_Trash @justinthatguy Awh you guys I hear all of this! Anxious people just trying to get by in life! I'd say were all doing pretty good in terms of working on our self awareness which has gotta come first - next is making sure we are listening to what we do/ don't need. That usually means not giving into external stimulants to enable us to socialise etc. Yes we may not possess the energy for socialising in ways that other people do - but I am 110% certain that we have other strengths, skills, sensitivities that we are/ aren't aware of that work in our favour (and that the world greatly needs when the narcs are seemingly thriving). Lean into the strengths, what we're good at, what feels good - limit the rest. Don't try to fit in to the point of losing who we are - yes we can soften certain aspects of ourselves to allow for a balanced work environment - but I am done with masking, people-pleasing and pretending that I am someone I am not. I am hell-bent on being the best version of Mikaela the world will ever see. Who's with me?!
Completely identify with your experience of the journey of awareness. I'm almost 60 and have struggled most of my life. Since understanding myself through the lens of autism and ADHD everything makes sense. Boundaries, limits, weird traits & intolerances, everything that once felt dense and mystifying is now becoming really clear and available for acceptance. The realisations have been very painful, and at the same time a relief, with so so much from the past coming up to be processed in the midst of a massive physical and psychological burnout. I really appreciate your courage in speaking your truth here 🙏🏾
@@karenyendall7511 oh I’m so grateful to read your comment. Thank you, truly 🙏🏼 I hear you and trust that this journey will only bring more love and self acceptance. It does take time, some years even but then again, that’s what life is for. Unravelling, discovering, feeling, experiencing. The yin and yang allows us to know sorrow just so we can recognise joy! To feel the fear so we can understand that it all comes back to love. I’m so proud of you, for I have some idea of what you must have experienced. Your generation has had a very challenging time and you are quite miraculous, marvellous, magical! 💛 Choose yourself, lean into ‘little me’ ~ the truth always lies there. Love to you, friend 🌟
I watched the entire thing and subscribed. ❤. Currently on my journey of finding out if I’m AuDHD (I do have an official ADHD Diagnosis). Can’t bring myself to an official assessment because I’m so afraid of getting a no for an answer. Because I relate so, so, so much to everything!
Awh thanks so much! I hear you! The biggest lesson I've taken from other Autistic & highly supportive women, is that we know ourselves better than anyone else possibly ever can ( I recommend Reddit r/AutismInWomen). Not every doctor is sufficiently trained in this area, even those specialising in Autism/ ADHD. There is no system which enforces new training for estabished doctors - so it really is the wild west out there, with many still stuck in the 50's way of thinking. If you are not a 7 year old, white male, chances are much more slim for a correct diagnosis - or diagnosis at all. There is no need to seek a formal diagnosis, unless you feel you might benefit from medication etc. I understand that we want to feel accepted and understood (finally) but a diagnosis is often just for other people to take us seriously, nothing really changes and not much support is offered. People pleasing sits at the core of many of our journeys, so have a ponder if its what you really want, or if you want to wait and see how you feel in time. The more we surround ourselves with likeminded people, more neurodiverse people. The better we will feel about life as a whole I reckon! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment - so awesome 😁💛
@@recoverywithme Thank you for taking the time to answer! Very much appreciated and I feel so seen and valued. ☺️💚 It's true that many so called experts are still stuck in the olden times.
Loved the entire video, it really makes me feel less lonely. I’m 24 and doing over my second year of university (out of 4). I got my audhd diagnosis 2 weeks ago and I feel completely lost, uni feels impossible and so does finding a job but I got this far😅 you’re very inspiring and the video made me feel at least a bit more hopeful, thank you❤
When I was a student at uni (with no clue that I have AuDHD, only "social phobia", major depression and complex ptsd) I barely left my room and had to give up my study (law). My psychotherapist was doing things worse for me (shaming etc.). When I could turn time back I would go to the appointment at the uni psychologist, maybe try group (maybe I meet neurodivergent / hypersensitive people) therapy, and choose what feels good to me and leave behind what is making me feeling bad. I went 5 or 6 years to the bad therapist 😞until I found the strength to say very rigid NO and I won't come back and YES I will find someone that is good for me, no matter what you try to tell me, I wouldn't have the courage.
Absolutely loved this video - there's not enough great advice out there about the interaction of ADHD and autism but this made me feel so incredibly seen!
Hi Hannah ~ Awe, I wasn't sure if it was a bit long and blabbery, I'm over the moon that you could relate! I made this video a year back, and I too have kept practising a lot of what I mentioned. As a result, I've developed my safe 'inner space' and my anxiety is so much less! It's definitely something that takes daily consistent work but digging into ourselves and swapping negative self-talk with curiosity, is so worth it! Wishing you a gentle but fruitful 2025, friend! :) M
Not at all!! The way you communicate is part of whats so relatable and funny! You’re also so right, even small changes like sensory friendly clothing and earplugs have done wonders for my anxiety and burnout. So keen to try the rest of your tips & keep it up, you putting yourself out there like this really makes a difference ☺️☺️
I hear you. ADHD diagnosis last year and Autism this week. I’m 53 years old. Mixed feeling so well done for embracing it. 😊 You are right, I need to create a nest for myself. Thanks for the tips.
I am so happy to have found your channel! I got recently diagnosed with Audhd at 21 and its been overwhelming. You just made me feel so comforted and like everything will be okay. You are amazing, appreciate you thank youuuu
Awh this made me feel all the feels 🥹 Thank you so much for commenting - it’s so overwhelming isn’t it! I’ll brb with some more videos but after moving onto a boat, life got a little hectic for a while! So happy you’ve found some answers in your diagnosis & the more we surround ourselves with similar minded people - the better and more accepted we will feel! So much love to you friend!! 💛🌼
Love this! I’m audhd as well with the pda profile and it’s very easy for me to be resistant to advice but I found your video to be very comforting! I identified with a lot of what you said and I might try out a few of your suggestions! Thank you for this and I’d love to hear more about your moving onto a barge journey!
Awh, hey! That’s wicked, I was so happy reading your comment!! I do also relate to what you’re saying - I too can be resistant unless it really aligns with me. Oh my gosh, the barge journey is ongoing 🤣 Lived onboard for almost 6 months and the ‘to-do’ list is ever growing!! She’s almost 90ft long and over 2 floors. This will be a long term project, very dependant on energy & finances. I cannot express how healthy it’s been for me to get out of the city though - that is my biggest takeaway. We’re moored by the countryside and I now get to run around in nature 🙌🏼😊
@@recoverywithme That sounds like such a rewarding journey and absolutely lovely! I’m so glad you were able to make that transition and I wish you the best of luck as you continue on that journey! Spending time in nature is the best medicine, I try to be in nature as much as possible. Your story is inspiring to me as I have been changing a lot about how I live to accommodate myself better and am looking to continue to do that in more drastic ways in the next few years! Thank you for sharing 💜
I'm almost 51. It was extremely rare and experimental for girls to be diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid. They tested me as a kid, and I was considered gifted, but very, very lazy (they didn't have the tools to diagnose me.) That was one heck of a label to grow up with. It took me a very long time to get an ADHD diagnosis. I struggled for a long time wondering if I was also on the spectrum. Even though there were a lot of telltale signs when I was a kid, it felt wrong to admit it, since there are others in my family on the spectrum. (I was dismissed and treated like I was trying to get extra attention when I tried to discuss it.) Thankfully, there's a lot of info out there, and the neurodivergent community is so supportive. I have so many friends who were diagnosed with ASD as adults. I am so thankful for the support, info, and helpful tips they have provided on this journey. I am finally accepting that I do have AuDHD. It's a blessing to finally find tips and tricks to deal with the world around me. 💗
@@evanora5743 this reads like the story of a very strong and inspiring individual ~ thank you for sharing a part of your life experiences. I can understand why people may wrongly perceive many autistic/ adhd individuals as lazy but they have no understanding of how much energy we put into simply existing. All of our day to day tasks are manual. We have to run through everything step by step whilst being constantly attacked by our senses. Of course not everyday is equal but it is really damn tiresome most days for those of us who live in busy, loud environments. Thank you again, I see you and I’m in awe of your journey. You deserve joy, peace and love ~ however that looks for you 🌞
@@Broken_robot1986 thanks so much for this! It’s about a year on since this video & I am making it my sole mission to bring my inner child - back out! 😋 Turns out societal ‘rules’ are not my jam. Only play by the rules when I have to! That’s how much purposely spending more time alone (quality time for introspection away from projection) has changed my perspective the last few years. Making ourselves our best friend, and only allowing those people in who mirror that back to us. I’m sure I’ve alienated people from my past as a result but that’s why they’re not in my present. I want to run in the forest - find a cool stick or two 😂 im 35 next month and ageing no longer depresses or scares me. Cos I can still have fun in nature, be childlike, make stuff, even on my own- who knew? Let’s goo! 🧚🏼
Imagine, you got this far and achieved so much, whilst not knowing this information. What an incredibly strong and driven human. Receiving this news moves the actual earth beneath us, but once it settles it only gets better if we allow it . Now you can learn how to soften the edges of life. Lean into more self acceptance and frankly - pride! I think it’s quite incredible. Feel the feelings and process them, taking all the time you need. It will take time but you’re worth that time, and more 🧡
@@recoverywithme thnx for these words! I'm really proud of the person I've become! It was a struggle, but I'll take me as an example and help people reach their goals. Now I have a brilliant purpose! Keep on making videos. You help many people with your work!
That is truly magical! Over the moon for you and I feel very similarly also. I’m thinking about starting a separate channel for Autism related conversations - I’m worried my channel might get a little confusing otherwise. Wow it’s brilliant to reach self acceptance and care less about how we’re perceived. Amen my friend ☺️🤪
I can relate in the sense of getting diagnosed in my thirties, in my case with BPD. And looking back, so much makes sense now. At first I felt devastated, but I know I'm more than my disorder. Thanks for sharing!
It's mind-boggling at first isn't it?! So happy we can see a diagnosis as knowledge we can use to better look after ourselves, rather than a label. Self love baby!
Mikaela, well done! You covered so many bases. I resonate with almost every point you covered. I was just diagnosed with ADHD. I scored low to mid-level on an autism test. I am in my 50’s. Have been on a self-discovery journey… and yes world peace is extremely important to me too.
This is great I'm recently sober and have come to realise and beginning to accept I'm autistic. Huge + on the reddit community, candles and houseplants.. oh and comfy clothes ! Thank you for sharing your experiences
half way in and i need to rewind this, my monotropic focus latched on to you just being you and all other info just vanished, haha i really like your energy
Hahaha I’m also guilty of this a lot of the time - totally get it. Thanks so much for the kind comment, especially as you’ll likely understand how much we question ourselves in this overwhelming world 😊🙏🏼
it ain’t easy being neurodiveerzy 😄 you’re welcome. i really enjoy connecting with and supporting neurodiversity advocates - sharing content like this demands a lot of courage and vulnerability. you guys are great role models 😌 i actually read a fun-fact about that yesterday, it says that autistic adults often have a wrinkled vertical line between their eyes, due to being confused/sceptical/misunderstood their whole life 😅
Reusable coffee mug - I find that Starbucks has the kind that doesn't leak. I'm using the same insulated travel mug that I've had for probably 10 years now. When I have to leave the house before I finish coffee, into the sealed mug it goes, and into my purse goes the mug. Because it just doesn't leak.
Im definitely gonna be working with a therapist to better understand myself and whats going on, im grateful to see the real beginning of my mental wellness
‼️♥️‼️ Every single one of these yes. Feeling blessed to have finally checked in with you today 🙏🏽🌻 (been limiting some social media). A few shares - Hot water bottle: omg luv so much! Whoever my next bedmate is, will have to understand 🤣😍. I’ve gone electric, have 2 sizes, keep the water ones on hand in case and for travel. Jeans: still wearing, just realized I wore a size too small my whole life! aka fit perfectly, but not. And now some made w stretchy material, big yay. Regulating meals and sleep: so key! Been huge struggle for me, because the trigger perception is that I’m not free. I’ve healed most of the roots of such perception, resulting in deeper levels of self love and self care. Autism Adhd: I don’t have these, I am these. They only exist as ‘diagnosis’ because we live in a world of consumerism and conformity, and some of us have found it impossible to live like that. And this is the new trend, that leads to the new earth. ✨🌎♥️ Blessings and good fortune to you Mikaela!
I totally understand the feelings you are going through. I have thought for many years. At my last appointment with my GP, I had it sprung on me that she had been observing my behavior and thinks I have ADHD. She put me on meds and I have testing in February. At this point I will feel lost if I am not since it feels like the place I fit the most.
Hey John, thanks a million for your comment! I too understand what you are describing. I'm so sorry that you're feeling a bit lost with it all - i was in total overdrive when I first learned about this myself. Whole life flashed before me sort of thing and I felt even more alien than usual! I think the most important thing is to remember that we are who we are, we know ourselves best and the only difference it's made for me - is knowing how to better look after myself. One big lesson for me has been that just because someone is a 'professional' does not always make them right. In fact i've had quite the opposite experience. I know myself best, my gut instinct is hot! Don't let a label shake your self esteem or make you question who you are. Dig into what feels right, read up on it all and advocate for what you need. Do you feel better since Feb? Would love to hear your experience :)
@@recoverywithmeThanks for the reply. I was half-awake it appears. I meant to say I had suspected being autistic for years after I had started to see more diverse depictions of people with ASD in TV series - not the stereotypical "Rain Man" portrayal. Then I went back and forth as to if I was just trying to shoehorn myself in. In August I found out that my great niece was finally old enough to be diagnosed and get the help that she has needed for so long as she is nonverbal. Then I looked at my nephew, dad, grandma and was baffled at how I couldn't see it for so long and then I compared it with myself and it was a big "oh crap" period. When my GP said she saw something neurodivergent in me just from our few visits I knew I had to finally act and get tested. I will follow up when I get my results. Until then I'll be sitting here with my homemade badge. We *do* get badges right?
Life is complicated, then you learn you are AuDHD... Some of us need to shovel in caffeine to sleep, some of us need to sleep less to be more awake, basically for everything you say someone is opposite that trait, you have a spectrum where "humans" is in the middle and then AuDHD is outside that normal range on one or the other side and perhaps above and below too.
When i realized, everything suddenly made sense and it was like all the stress and tension just left me and now its like in taking stock of me to now work better with myself and support my needs i realize masking made me ignorant of myself and my needs cause i didnt even think about my life through this lense now im more aware of me and what i deal with actually and so im having to readjust to make sure im gonna have better living
Hi Fellow AuDHD-er here! 🤗 Great video! I was just thinking about the dopamine detox thing. I'd like to share some thoughts in order to understand it better if that's fine 🙏: We naturally produce less dopamine because of the ADHD, therefore going on social media apps etc might be what we need in order to get 'enough' dopamine. If you don't have a job or can do other things that you actually find meaningful, then I don't think this works. I don't have friends, a partner, a job, a pet, a proper college education, etc. I have severe dyslexia. Right now I can't feel enough joy to ever relax, no matter what I do or how I do it. ADHD-meds don't work (yet). I get panic attacks when I take them. So right now I'm only taking antidepressants, and not until we've reached max dose will I probably be taking ADHD-meds again. I don't see meaning in anything besudes love, but a life of love is impossible for me right now because of how far away from society I am. In this moment, a dopamine detox would absolutely destroy me. I'd probably go into a psychosis and lose the control of myself completely. I don't think I could survive that. I'm 23 and got diagnosed with both 3 months ago.
ah the hair thing 💇♀that felt very validating thanks! I have also struggled with hair & scalp sensitivity, can't stand the hair dressers (which I was in denial about for ages because it's "normal" for women to "enjoy" the hairdressers?!) but also struggle with the sensations & management of long hair. Now I have an undercut which helps me too 😄
This was the video i have always been looking for! I’m high masking just like you! I’m the most ambitious girl you can imagine and to be hit with all this info about myself at 25, I feel incredibly stuck in my career choices over my mental health and making decisions around work and home life.
I’m so glad!! Choose a life that makes your nervous system happy ~ lean into understanding what causes you stress and try to minimise it. Then start maximising on JOY 💛✨🦋 it’s completely changed my life. Life is for living, not just surviving and ‘fitting in’. Ahhh what a revelation!! 🦋🌞💖✨💘💫🌸
I’m so grateful but mind blown! But mostly grateful just to have the knowledge. It all makes sense now. I hope you find peace on this journey - it’s good to know there are many, many of us on it 💛
@@recoverywithme i am very greatfull to have finally found out what never made sense. Haveing a piece of paper or assement just validates what I knew (but didn't know) subconsciously. The hardest part of it all is spending your whole life becoming the best version of someone you cant be, or know, so that you can just feel like you fit in. The hardest thing about masking is keeping it up or being able to turn it on automatically when you turn to speak to someone. I started the process of this journey when we found out my youngest son had it. During this process I awakened one morning and experienced what I know now was a massive burnout. All the elaborate methods and switches I had somehow put into place for 48 years suddenly stopped all within a second. All of my sensory issues came back to me. Everything I did just a moment before was undone. My mind and body suddenly rejected the operating system I had put into place the only problem was, I had no clue where the "switches" we located or how to turn them on. Fast forward... yes I am greatfull to know. It helps so much to listen to videos like these. It gives me the strength to keep pushing through. I think the hardest thing is to wake everyday trying to convenience the world you are not who you say you are. My loved ones are great but its difficult for them to understand. I find myself searching diligently for information to give even doctors the information they need on how "my" body works. Long story short its like being a genius on the inside but you never get a opportunity for someone to see it because of the massive amount of things you have to overcome the second you get out of bed. I don't want anyone reading this to think its not worth it because it is. I think the only way to get better at it is to take care of yourself and use these steps to become a better version of ones ownself and don't live to "fit in" live to overcome! Live for "you" which can sound very selfish but you can't truly love people if you dont love the true version of yourself. Its a difficult journey and to all of us out there dont be discouraged, be real , be authentic, dont be afraid, just keep pressing on! If anyone has any questions on my journey I can be reached at jaytimms@att.net. I have no podcast only personal experiences of someone who was late diagnosed. The only way through this is to lean on others who we can trust! Hang in there and be strong! Keep pushing out these encouraging videos. We need them!
I’m 2 months from being g 50. I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. Found out I’m autistic 6 weeks ago. I’m I. The process of figuring out who I am from a lifetime of masking and stuffing all my behavior traits. It’s a relief to know because my life makes so much sense now but I have angst at finding out who I am whiteout masking. How is this going to impact my life? And why does it take so long?! I feel like a walking contradiction. I share many of the same things as you but I have so many different. We are all so unique.
I was diagnosed with autism in childhood and after wayyyy to long I am finally accepting and realizing that I have ADHD as well, about to be diagnosed right now at 28... I don't know if there was anything I COULDN'T relate to in this video 😅 I especially relate to the dissonance of working corporate city jobs! I am considering quitting a very draining, meaningless career in IT and following my passions myself... Although I don't know exactly what they are yet, and it feels really scary. Both financially (of course!) and psychologically. It's inspiring to hear your story. Förresten, jag skrattade ihjäl mig vid 08:50. Har gjort så med mina katter hela livet 😹 Finns inget bättre 😊Riktigt roligt att algoritmerna lät mig hitta din kanal! Du verkar riktigt jordnära och härlig. Jag ser fram emot mer! Du har inte funderat på att bredda din kanal mer mer VLOG-content och liknande? Jag tror det skulle vara toppen! Hej från Sverige! 👋 🇸🇪
Hej Hej! Tack! I’m in the process of moving back to Sweden after 28 years - so excited to get back to the forest and the lakes!! I’m so glad you could relate but also sorry for the struggles. I loved reading your comment and have no doubt you’re gonna carve out a path that feels good for your soul. Choose yourself, choose ‘little you’ every time and you can’t go wrong! Time to re-parent ourselves, we have a lot more power, are a lot more powerful than we’ve felt. I’m rooting for you! 🙌🏼🌟
19:48 I feel like there were so many things about me lost to time. Like it is taking me a lot of effort to try to remember who that person was even xD Recently discovered apparently I had a thing for jewelry and bangles at some point? They were pretty and made jingly noises xD but now I moreso prefer no jewelry at all on me cause it hurts. It gets very annoying. And bangles also felt like shackles for some reason...
@@Dancestar1981 they’re definitely at odds a lot of the time! Like Bart Simpson and his evil twin.. but which one is which? 😂 (I’m just joking but sometimes it does feel that way).
Thanks for hanging out! I’m so happy you felt a connection with me - and sorry for some of the struggles. I love that we’re all finding each other and bonding over similarities. So cool! 🫶🏼
100% relate. Simplifying life, leaving the city and focusing on what brings me true joy has really helped. I spend a lot more time alone and it feels a lot more balanced. Hopefully you’ll find some similar answers that will help you feel good in your skin 🙏🏼✨
I’m not sure if this question was for me but I do experience a lot of (sometimes chronic) pain. Especially if I have something viral ~ I also experience what i call ‘sister pain’. If I injure my ankle say - I may get pain symptoms somewhere else in my body as well (as a direct result). I also experience a lot of fever type symptoms. At school, even a spot on my face could make me feel as if I had the flu, headache etc. and all my sensitivities flair up. Is that similar to what you experience? I’ve never dared to talk much about it as I don’t know how to communicate it firstly, and was scared of sounding like a hypochondriac.. I realise now it’s very common in our community.
@@recoverywithme yes Ime diagnosed fybromyalgia CFS decdes but only just diagnosed autism ADHD heds are you hypermobile it's muscle pain worst symptom daily some has changed over time people who don't understand use those hypochondriac terms Dr lenz channel is very good are you hypermobile? Do you have SPD the OCD is involved alot I believe. We have a different subconscious brain
Oh, btw, I absolutely dislike being perceived!!!I I also have OCD, struggle with disordered eating habits, body dysmorphia. So sometimes I can't even go to the store because I don't want people to see me! And I'm not drinking because of my BPD and anxiety. It is so challenging to go through life sober sometimes.
Mm I hear you! I'm sorry you're also experiencing some tough challenges that seemingly are so easy for most. And yeah for sure not drinking can make socialising really hard for those of us who are anxious - but i also know that alcohol makes both my brain and body feel like crap so it's not worth it. On a big plus, its so helpful to be able to find similar people over the internet, when real-life is such a challenge. I've come to fully appreciate that big groups or loud environments are not for me, so I only really hang out one-to-one now and again but I deffo also struggle with simple things like going to the shop for milk or whatever. There is one literally 5 metres from my apartment but it gives me anxiety just imagining going there. It's a bit easier if I manage a walk before hand and go to the shop at the end of the walk before coming home - as if i have to set myself up for it haha. I'm sure you sort of relate!! Sending love!!
You sound like me when I talk, exactly like me holy cow !! and I'm heavily suspecting that I'm AuDHD too. I'm trying to get diagnosed now at 19 because I had to drop out of uni (temporalily, as of now).
Well I’m sure I’d take that as a great compliment 😉 Absolutely take the time you need, ask what you need and go live your life however feels good for you. This is your life, you deserve peace and happiness ~ proud of you 🤩💞
I come from a recent breakdown, i realized im audhd and it was literally 1111 when i had this realization and in choosing to watch this kinda had a thought arise going boy am i going the right way here in my self care journey or am mistaken and it was 733 on the clock in my vocabulary with spirit this with 33 means doing good keep it up where a number with 44 presented at a similar moment in time to say you done good go rest
You're cat!!! I wasn't going to comment but the cat changed everything. I can't say that I've done that particularly, but i do have cats. And i couldn't imagine life without them. I've been really struggling lately. Been diagnosed ADHD at 45. To me though it feels like they're missing something. I'm depressed alot so it doesnt make sense.
You know yourself best. If it feels like they’re missing something, always know you can advocate for yourself and ask for an assessment or a second opinion. I too spent many years feeling very low and couldn’t work out why my brain didn’t seem to work like everyone else’s. And why I was more sensitive to light/ noise etc. And yes you’re 100% right, life is best with cats. I’m just watching the sunrise with my cat Tony. Best and only way I want to start my day. Wishing you all the best Julia! 🧡
I self diagnosed myself 3 days ago with ADHD.. And after this video i'm truly wondering if i have autism aswell because i also fear of being seen and very quickly drained. Thankyou for the video 🩷❤️
Yesssss i cant get diagnosed in my city unless i pay by myself 😢 but i relate so much and my friend has autism and adhd and we are soooo similar. I'm sick of wearing uncomfy clothes, bought a couple slide on pants 😅 and im never turning back. Jeans are horrid. Your cat is very similar to my Moon! ❤ i love my new soft toy to cuddle also. Very comforting. Ive shaved my hair off a few times cause i cant handke it touching me! But now ive grown it medium length and tie it back in a low pony. Which isnt the most flattering but dont care anymore. Thanks for the great video, hi from New Zealand!
@@HomemakerDaze hi!!👋🏼 Awh wicked! Hey, when I recorded this I was admittedly self-diagnosed. I knew it in my bonesss ~ since then I’ve been formally diagnosed by the NHS in London but it was a long and winding road. Self-diagnosis in my opinion, is just as valid. I know the feeling of when it just ‘clicks’. It’s the answer to so much confusion, pain and anguish. As well as some cool special gifts/ talents! Self acceptance is key to moving through anxiety, masking and drawing things towards us that.. well, aren’t for us. Lean into ‘little you’, you’ll find many answers there 🫶🏼
@@recoverywithmethank you so much for the validation and support ❤ I really feel like at age 34 I'm just now finally understanding myself and taking care of myself. The anxiety is what I need to stay on top of! I wish you the best! X
Awh wow, I hope you feel like it’s given some clarity but u understand it can also be very overwhelming (speaking from personal experience), so take it day by day. Personally I feel stronger and more accepting of myself but it’s taking time. Learning every day ☺️ Love to you! 🧡
@@recoverywithme hey! Thankyou! I loved your video btw. I didn't get bored or tune out. One thing becoming very clear to me is that the people I like best are either Neurodivergent in some way, or have loads of traits (or are just undiagnosed like me). I teach dance and snd I always connect best to divergent kids too. Sooo illuminating! It has definitely brightened my outlook, but yeah, feeling a bit of overwhelm too. Especially kniwing when I tell people they will say and think all kinds of conditioned BS. Not that I care particularly what folks think, just that it will be annoying. But of course I want to share because I find it so interesting! Lol. This life never ceases to fascinate me. Anyway, thank you for sharing! ❤
Gosh it all takes time doesn't it.. and patience is never my strong point. But I'm so glad to hear from people like yourself because it normalises all these weird feelings and STRUGGLES!! We are in very good company and I dare say not even in the minority. You're doing great no matter what & I am blooming proud of you!!! 😁🥰
vitamin B helps prevent and recover from blowout. after 5 minutes of stress, all the vitamin B one has in reserve has been consumed by their brain. I use a B-complex, i pop one if im expected a bad day, if i start feeling stressed, most of the time i take one with my morning coffee, just to keep me relaxed and on top of things.
We are only taught to ‘fit in’ no matter what the cost. No one teaches us to look within for the answers. It’s all a big Hollywood construct. It’s all a lie.
This is probaly my first time commenting on youtube ever, but i'm a nurse and have experience in burn units, and hot water bottles are so dangerous! They can leak and explode. Try and look for an alternative like cherry pit pillows which are much safer!
Hello Lynn! Thank you, I really appreciate your comment - they are very dangerous. I’ve had multiple burst. Will look at alternatives for the winter (that don’t require a microwave) 😊
I'm overwhelmingly emotional, it's all hitting me, & I can't stop crying, I'm so exhausted all the time, shocked our society is expected of me to catch up, how can I when my thinking is different?..... & Now I feel alone where I live & my surroundings 😢😢😢 oh thank you sorr ry it's all overwhelmingly shocking about this! 😭
It’s okay, friend. It is overwhelming ~ the only thing you need to focus on is self love and acceptance. I promise it is the miracle worker we all need. We can’t change society, immediately, but we can change ourselves. Not to fit but to blossom in our own way. Connect with likeminded people online if you can’t find them in real life yet. But most of all; connect with yourself and figure out what needs healing from a challenging journey. I am Mikaela and finally in 2024 I can say that I am damn proud of being her. That’s one transformation I never thought I’d know. Choose yourself and advocate for what you need. I stopped feeling alone as soon as I chose myself. It might sound weird but just start with some journaling and some gentle curiosity. Lean into some cosy special interest and make a life that YOU like. Unsubscribe from the rest, for now 💛🦋
Does anybody end up pissing off the world when they try to suppress their adhd? For example, i xan aggressively attack my adhd freeze by forcing myself into getting things done and i end up overproducing especially because i can trick myself into hyperfocus by turning the task into a game. The end result is resentment from coworkers. Its the only way i can do things especially if its something i dont find interest in. And it gets me into hot waters quite often. Its depressing because it burns me out and i get 0% satisfaction and it just never ends. And God forbid there is any interruption because i start losing interest real fast.
I hear you, that sounds so challenging to deal with! Being misunderstood is tough when your intention is good. Is this a career/ job you’re tied to - or is there some room to move in a direction of more interest? Or perhaps it’s just certain tasks you’re not so interested in. I know we can get stuck sometimes for fear of change (not saying this is your case as I don’t know) but I hope you find a way to either communicate what you need to your work place (perhaps a conversation or written explanation could help), or the inspiration to find something else that works better for you 🙌🏼
Let them suffer, push back! ...at least until you be able to swap your environment. Many of us get targeted by fearful, envious NTs by merely being ourselves... it is not a minor issue this need to improve our ability to answer relentlessly whenever they suppose a threat to us due to their inner miseries.
With friendships.. I only have other AUDHD friends. I find i can unmask around people who can fully relate unless it’s a partner. I don’t spend time with anyone who I can’t unmask around. Unless I can’t help it * then I’ll suffer the consequences. Your distracted brain made me laugh very much, as I relate and I feel like I’m watching myself tbh 🤣 we live very similar lives apart from London! How do you do that?! 😅
I’m so happy you’ve got people in your life who allow you to be yourself. I’m working on that for sure. I’ve changed/ evolved quite a lot since this video ~ unmasking and returning to ‘little me’ is happening at a very fast rate. I’ve made it my absolute priority and the main move I made was.. leaving London. Yep! Haha, after a decade I was done with the stress, I totally mirror your feelings on it. I now live on a barge in a rural area, surrounded by my first love; nature!! 🦋 So I think I’m due an update video, I’m just recharging from a very intense few weeks. But once I emerge (maybe later this week) I’ll pop a new video up to talk about it all. There’s so much to say on this topic, and a lot of work to do in advocating for us all. Thanks for this comment, it always cheers me up in a big way 😊✨
Thank´s for your video. I LOVE IT. I´m 63 years old. when I was 49 years old, I had a Big meltdown and didn´t want to exist anymore. the physician told me the diagnoses was Bipolar type 2. I know it is AuDHD (.All my children and grandchildren have several sorts of diagnoses.) , But they refuses to give me a inquiry. I eats medicinen for Bipolar type 2 still. I live i Sweden and the physician here i really Arrogant and bully. And I am of course a WOMAN.
It’s funny there aren’t diagnosed conditions for people who go through life without issues but cause them for other people. The fact some or most people are well adjusted to life and others are not so, has to take into account the fact that there can be 2 different reasons for struggle. Either the person has a disability or they have gifts which they struggle to manifest in an ordinary life. Being different and struggling might not be YOUR fault, but the fact that societal structure and cognition of others is on a different, and even inferior, level to yourself. Sensitive, good people will on average suffer more in life, simply because of their differences. There are some positives to being gifted if the person can manifest their gift. Plus, the gifted person may be able to avoid pitfalls that others fall prey to more easily. But divergence is inherently alienating.
Yes I can align with this ~ because since choosing to align with my true self and also choosing to reject the perceived ‘rules’ of social engagement et. Al. I feel 1000% more in control and at peace with life. Digging into triggers and trauma as well as strengthening my intuition, has had rather incredible results. Since this video I am once more, a new version of myself. More ‘me’ ~ I’ve ‘regressed’ back into little me and I am blooming over the moon! My nervous system thanks me daily 🦋
P.s. have been recharging but will bring an update out soon ~ thinking about a separate channel for autismwithme ~ my recovery work may be alienating for some and vice-versa. Will have a ponder!
It’s a rollercoaster ride for sure - emotionally as well as physically. So much has changed since this video, I’m barely recognisable even looking back a year. Unmasking is such a process but it’s a beautiful one. Will do an update soon 🌞
Referral through my GP with the NHS. Quite a long and painful process - they lost the referral 3 times before we even got started. So it’s good to keep advocating for ourselves and push for what we deserve 🦋
i like this video and the energy so much. my only thought is that i wanna be your friend. greetings from a fellow adhdler who thinks it could be autism as well.
Hi! Mikaela! I discovered that I'm Autistic last year and I think I might be Audhd after doing a lot of research. I started my own YT channel here immediately after because I felt a strong need to advocate and spread awareness about how it is to be Neurodivergent. I think it's cool to find people here who are doing the same. I'm 37 years old and I've been masking my entire live obviously because no one could see the traits, or maybe they just didn't know anything about it. Most of my traits are internal but I'm trying to figure out who I am without the mask and that might uncover some visible traits. Is there any community you can recommend where I can get to know other Neurodivergent people? I hope you are doing awesome! / Isabella
Hej Isabella! I absolutely empathise with your story - it sounds incredibly similar to my own. It can only be a great thing that more of us start sharing our stories and find people we can connect with that make us feel more understood and supported - so 'tusen tack' for your comment & for sharing your world! There is a great Reddit community r/AutismInWomen but outside of that I haven't explored anything yet, as life has been a little crazy with moving house etc. If you find anything please send recommendations my way too! Mikaela
Oh I feel this! It causes real mischief in there! Well done on the realisation ~ so many foods contain it! Even things that have no business containing milk. I try to make most of my food myself now just to avoid the bullsh*t 🙌🏼✨
Yes i remember first visiting years ago, before I’d moved there and my gut reaction was ~ I am never coming here unless I really have to, let alone live there! I but I convinced myself that I had to do so in order to be seen as ‘successful’. I was lost and didn’t believe I could exist as my true self. London is exhausting and I don’t think it’s healthy for anyone to be there for too long. Especially not us sensitive people 🙏🏼
I thought the same thing, I am too:) I found out I’m an INFJ two years ago, then autistic last year at age 55, also a recovering alcoholic 5 years sober
Yes the diagnoses came late for us, I’m 54. Would have been diagnosed at school with depression and anxiety but they weren’t a thing back then. I say INFJ is hidden neurodivergence because we are usually able to fit in and adapt, but at our own expense.
I’m 2 minutes in and can already hear her setting us up for affiliate marketing commissions , buying products from her links.! 😂 hey ho, let’s learn more. X
🤣🤣🤣 most of the time but probably not all. I try to be as respectful as I can but you make a good point. Luckily he is a very touchy-feely guy himself haha 🥰
Then this may not be for you but if you want to, you can speed it up in your settings. People have told me that I talk too fast in some videos. Thank you for your feedback.
What things do you recommend that you couldn't live without?🧸🛟
Plushies! 🐶🐶🐿🐿🐱🐰
MY personal stuff that no one else uses, only me
I think you outlined very well what brings about a sense of 'lagom' :) I like all my supplements in the morn. Spirulina, zinc/selenium, milk thistle extract, magnesium etc. All those superfoods help as well. I eat most of the top 30 ones.
My morning walk with coffee when it is so quiet in my neighborhood.
Red lamp in bedroom. Comfy clothes. LONG walks.
I am 33 and had a meltdown at work due to overwhelm from stresses at work and at home in my personal life. This happened twice and right after I started to have videos about autism appearing over and over my feeds on instagram and UA-cam. The more I watched the more I realized how closely I related to issues autisic individuals had. I realized I have also been dealing with these issues, but only lately I have realized I probably have Autism and ADHD combined. Ovbiously not diagnosed...yet, but I am hoping to get there and get properly assessed. But yeah it was pretty intense of a realization to hit me. I honestly don't know how I have managed to keep a job for so long, 6 years so far. But my anxiety is growing worse.
Hey Amy! Wow, I felt so much emotion reading your comment, thank you for sharing some of your story - I hear you 💛
You’re incredibly strong and driven for pushing through with work and all your other life achievements, whilst experiencing such intense anxiety. I am certain that everyone here can relate and you are part of a very large % of people who go through the same silent hell for much of our lives. Life can feel so spiky and overwhelming - like crawling face first into a thorn bush naked some days 🥲
If you think getting a diagnosis will help deffo go for it - it can be very useful for better support at work for example and in feeling more confident to open up those types of conversations. It’s not easy and it can feel very vulnerable but in reality it’s strong as hell. Daring to advocate for ourselves whaaaat?? Learning to put my needs first has been life changing. Saying no to things that don’t feel good, such as large social gatherings - and saying yes to more gentle things that bring me joy! Even if it doesn’t look as glamorous to the outside world. Check out r/autisminwomen on Reddit if you’d like to find some likeminded people - it’s a very supportive space and I personally found a lot of self acceptance from reading so many similar stories. This journey itself can feel overwhelming at times but it gets so much easier once we lean into self acceptance, learn what works for us and maybe even seek out a few neurodivergent friendships (even online). It’s a good way to start letting go of that ‘alien’ in our own life sort of feeling. You’re awesome & I hope with this new information, that you create a life that feels just as awesome too! Woop! 🙌🏼 ✨
The 'I'm just manic and creative' to 'I have ADHD' to 'Oh fuck its also Autism' pipeline is a real rollercoaster.
It’s a white-knuckle ride! Finding likeminded people helps so much! 🧡
The inexplicable nausea immediately after, or even during, socialising with people you really love, is a really hard thing to get your head around. It's really useful to hear that other people experience this. Balancing being lonely at home with how tiring socialising is is really hard.
I hear you! I have to say though, since learning about all this and leaning into creating a more ‘comfy’ life. I feel much less lonely in my own company. In fact.. I don’t think I get lonely often at all. I would like some more close female friendships but I’m certain it will come in time. As long as I just practise being me and doing things I like doing. We’ll get there! 😊
Got my ADHD last year and Autism this year at 38. The contradictions between the two used to make me think I was a psychopath. Like: I thrive in a routine but struggle to follow plans.. I get angry when friends are late but I struggle to arrive on time.
I relate 🥹
funny, we have the same timeline, only i'm 50. i wanna say "i see a pattern there", but everyone here will say "duh!", and that will make me giggle, because we have found our tribe... ❤
This. Totally, all this.
I relate. I’m always late but hate for anyone else to be 🙄.
Still learning as I was also recently diagnosed with Autism and ADHD.
Be kind to yourself!
@@kompisworld it’s just insane isn’t it ? and then we constantly beat ourselves up internally because we recognise the Incongruent behaviour but can’t explain it and assume we are just crazy and bad individuals, filled with guilt and shame 😢 but when we get diagnosed it all begins to make sense, we can at least begin to understand ourselves and attempt to mitigate some of the behaviours and slowly begin to feel better about ourselves.
The INFJ signs for me are intelligence with high emotional intelligence and sensitivity.
I had a breakdown at 51 only to discover I had inattentive ADHD, high functioning autism, and dyscalculia. I’m an engineer for a Japanese manufacturer … life has always been like walking through Treacle 😢
I hear you, mine happened at 32 after a painful ‘career’ in London. Complete life melt down. Same happened to my mum when I was a teenager and it’s very real indeed. My point is this happens to most of us undiagnosed adults and you are completely normal for being hugely overwhelmed. The world is crazy and now we’re learning that there are far, FAR more autistic people than previously thought. My guess is that we are actually a very large % of the population and it needs to be opened right up and looked at properly. Something isn’t right within our healthcare systems and people are suffering unnecessarily as a result. I hear you and I have no doubt life has been really hard - you deserve better. I hope things keep moving in the right direction. Wishing you all the best Jason!! 🙌🏼
Woah how did you manage to become an engineer and stay an engineer? I have dyscalculia too and I imagine getting through an engineering degree would make my brain hurt lol
@@green--apple it was hard, really really hard. I had to learn basic maths at the age of 26. I never understood how things actually worked, I couldn’t and still can’t transpose formula I still can’t do simple division or multiplication. I had to memorise enough formula combinations or cheat by engraving them on my ruler / calculator cover etc and still barely passed with a total score of 42%.
Job wise … I rarely needed complex math or when there is a need, software and the internet is what I use. Bizarrely I was great at Physics and due to my Autism and INTP personality type I can fathom complex theory and find root cause solutions to mechanical and process problems with ease and precision 🤷♂️
Just before my 54th birthday I received my "gifted AuDHD" diagnosis: a!most friggin killed me. That said, I'm so much more impressed with my survival and, what turns out to be, a lifetime of (unskilled) self advocacy.
@ornag5046 absolutely awesome perspective and mirrors my own. Living as a sensitive person (simply existing and surviving), in today’s world - translates to strong as heck! The fact you’ve reached that perspective tells me you’ve come far. Dare to share your light in small or big ways, the ripple effect is much needed in todays world 🌞✨
I was diagnosed with autism last year and ADHD yesterday and this video was soon relatable and a good reminder to focus on the imporance of prioritising my needs and sensitivities and not just trying to push through everything to prove I can be a "proper adult"
Oh wow, what a journey! Well done on what must have been a challenging time - big congrats. I’m glad I could lend a helpful reminder. We all fall under the spell of a sick society, cramming ourselves into boxes we have no business even paying attention to. ‘Little me’ is in charge now and it’s my job to flow through her and guide her. Adulting-schmadulting 😜 Love to you, friend! 🫶🏼
OMG! There's so much I relate to, but this" "It's not that I don't like people; it's that I don't like how my brain reacts to them sometimes"! This NAILS it for me! I am such a recluse and this is why.
I, too, struggle in many of the same ways. I'm over 200 days sober, I also used alcohol as a crutch to be "fun," self-soothe for anxiety, and force myself to be social more. I would not say I was out of control or ruining my life, but I certainly was using it to cope. It was unhealthy.
I'm really struggling with completing projects at work and being social. I'm undiagnosed but took an impromptu test for autism online and scored sort of high.
I can relate to everything you said, from self hate to selfish partners/friends, just absolutely everything.
I really need to do the formal testing.
Congrats on being sober for so long! I'm just shy of a year myself. Used alcohol for exactly the same reasons, and to suppress my panic disorder. Just wanted to say keep it up, you got this!
@@justinthatguy thanks dude! I'm giving it my best shot. 🫠
@Pierogi_Trash @justinthatguy Awh you guys I hear all of this! Anxious people just trying to get by in life! I'd say were all doing pretty good in terms of working on our self awareness which has gotta come first - next is making sure we are listening to what we do/ don't need. That usually means not giving into external stimulants to enable us to socialise etc. Yes we may not possess the energy for socialising in ways that other people do - but I am 110% certain that we have other strengths, skills, sensitivities that we are/ aren't aware of that work in our favour (and that the world greatly needs when the narcs are seemingly thriving). Lean into the strengths, what we're good at, what feels good - limit the rest. Don't try to fit in to the point of losing who we are - yes we can soften certain aspects of ourselves to allow for a balanced work environment - but I am done with masking, people-pleasing and pretending that I am someone I am not. I am hell-bent on being the best version of Mikaela the world will ever see. Who's with me?!
@@recoverywithme hell yeah! 100% agree with you
Completely identify with your experience of the journey of awareness. I'm almost 60 and have struggled most of my life. Since understanding myself through the lens of autism and ADHD everything makes sense. Boundaries, limits, weird traits & intolerances, everything that once felt dense and mystifying is now becoming really clear and available for acceptance. The realisations have been very painful, and at the same time a relief, with so so much from the past coming up to be processed in the midst of a massive physical and psychological burnout.
I really appreciate your courage in speaking your truth here 🙏🏾
@@karenyendall7511 oh I’m so grateful to read your comment. Thank you, truly 🙏🏼 I hear you and trust that this journey will only bring more love and self acceptance. It does take time, some years even but then again, that’s what life is for. Unravelling, discovering, feeling, experiencing. The yin and yang allows us to know sorrow just so we can recognise joy! To feel the fear so we can understand that it all comes back to love. I’m so proud of you, for I have some idea of what you must have experienced. Your generation has had a very challenging time and you are quite miraculous, marvellous, magical! 💛 Choose yourself, lean into ‘little me’ ~ the truth always lies there. Love to you, friend 🌟
@@recoverywithme❤
I watched the entire thing and subscribed. ❤. Currently on my journey of finding out if I’m AuDHD (I do have an official ADHD Diagnosis). Can’t bring myself to an official assessment because I’m so afraid of getting a no for an answer. Because I relate so, so, so much to everything!
Awh thanks so much! I hear you! The biggest lesson I've taken from other Autistic & highly supportive women, is that we know ourselves better than anyone else possibly ever can ( I recommend Reddit r/AutismInWomen). Not every doctor is sufficiently trained in this area, even those specialising in Autism/ ADHD. There is no system which enforces new training for estabished doctors - so it really is the wild west out there, with many still stuck in the 50's way of thinking. If you are not a 7 year old, white male, chances are much more slim for a correct diagnosis - or diagnosis at all. There is no need to seek a formal diagnosis, unless you feel you might benefit from medication etc. I understand that we want to feel accepted and understood (finally) but a diagnosis is often just for other people to take us seriously, nothing really changes and not much support is offered. People pleasing sits at the core of many of our journeys, so have a ponder if its what you really want, or if you want to wait and see how you feel in time. The more we surround ourselves with likeminded people, more neurodiverse people. The better we will feel about life as a whole I reckon! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment - so awesome 😁💛
@@recoverywithme Thank you for taking the time to answer! Very much appreciated and I feel so seen and valued. ☺️💚 It's true that many so called experts are still stuck in the olden times.
@@recoverywithme Great reply, so insightful, so happy she hears this 🤗🙏🏽
At 46 years old I look back and trying to take it all in, integrate the things that happened and start my journey.
I am in this video and I am... getting used to it :D
feel like a diff person after accommodating my sensory needs 100%
That’s fantastic! 🙌🏼
Loved the entire video, it really makes me feel less lonely. I’m 24 and doing over my second year of university (out of 4). I got my audhd diagnosis 2 weeks ago and I feel completely lost, uni feels impossible and so does finding a job but I got this far😅 you’re very inspiring and the video made me feel at least a bit more hopeful, thank you❤
When I was a student at uni (with no clue that I have AuDHD, only "social phobia", major depression and complex ptsd) I barely left my room and had to give up my study (law). My psychotherapist was doing things worse for me (shaming etc.). When I could turn time back I would go to the appointment at the uni psychologist, maybe try group (maybe I meet neurodivergent / hypersensitive people) therapy, and choose what feels good to me and leave behind what is making me feeling bad. I went 5 or 6 years to the bad therapist 😞until I found the strength to say very rigid NO and I won't come back and YES I will find someone that is good for me, no matter what you try to tell me, I wouldn't have the courage.
Absolutely loved this video - there's not enough great advice out there about the interaction of ADHD and autism but this made me feel so incredibly seen!
Hi Hannah ~ Awe, I wasn't sure if it was a bit long and blabbery, I'm over the moon that you could relate! I made this video a year back, and I too have kept practising a lot of what I mentioned. As a result, I've developed my safe 'inner space' and my anxiety is so much less! It's definitely something that takes daily consistent work but digging into ourselves and swapping negative self-talk with curiosity, is so worth it! Wishing you a gentle but fruitful 2025, friend! :) M
Not at all!! The way you communicate is part of whats so relatable and funny! You’re also so right, even small changes like sensory friendly clothing and earplugs have done wonders for my anxiety and burnout. So keen to try the rest of your tips & keep it up, you putting yourself out there like this really makes a difference ☺️☺️
I hear you. ADHD diagnosis last year and Autism this week. I’m 53 years old. Mixed feeling so well done for embracing it. 😊
You are right, I need to create a nest for myself. Thanks for the tips.
I am so happy to have found your channel! I got recently diagnosed with Audhd at 21 and its been overwhelming. You just made me feel so comforted and like everything will be okay. You are amazing, appreciate you thank youuuu
Awh this made me feel all the feels 🥹 Thank you so much for commenting - it’s so overwhelming isn’t it! I’ll brb with some more videos but after moving onto a boat, life got a little hectic for a while! So happy you’ve found some answers in your diagnosis & the more we surround ourselves with similar minded people - the better and more accepted we will feel! So much love to you friend!! 💛🌼
Love this! I’m audhd as well with the pda profile and it’s very easy for me to be resistant to advice but I found your video to be very comforting! I identified with a lot of what you said and I might try out a few of your suggestions! Thank you for this and I’d love to hear more about your moving onto a barge journey!
Awh, hey! That’s wicked, I was so happy reading your comment!! I do also relate to what you’re saying - I too can be resistant unless it really aligns with me. Oh my gosh, the barge journey is ongoing 🤣 Lived onboard for almost 6 months and the ‘to-do’ list is ever growing!! She’s almost 90ft long and over 2 floors. This will be a long term project, very dependant on energy & finances. I cannot express how healthy it’s been for me to get out of the city though - that is my biggest takeaway. We’re moored by the countryside and I now get to run around in nature 🙌🏼😊
@@recoverywithme That sounds like such a rewarding journey and absolutely lovely! I’m so glad you were able to make that transition and I wish you the best of luck as you continue on that journey! Spending time in nature is the best medicine, I try to be in nature as much as possible. Your story is inspiring to me as I have been changing a lot about how I live to accommodate myself better and am looking to continue to do that in more drastic ways in the next few years! Thank you for sharing 💜
Yayyy new video day!! 😍
Yay love your comments! Thank you for watching! 😁
I'm almost 51. It was extremely rare and experimental for girls to be diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid. They tested me as a kid, and I was considered gifted, but very, very lazy (they didn't have the tools to diagnose me.) That was one heck of a label to grow up with.
It took me a very long time to get an ADHD diagnosis. I struggled for a long time wondering if I was also on the spectrum. Even though there were a lot of telltale signs when I was a kid, it felt wrong to admit it, since there are others in my family on the spectrum. (I was dismissed and treated like I was trying to get extra attention when I tried to discuss it.)
Thankfully, there's a lot of info out there, and the neurodivergent community is so supportive. I have so many friends who were diagnosed with ASD as adults. I am so thankful for the support, info, and helpful tips they have provided on this journey. I am finally accepting that I do have AuDHD. It's a blessing to finally find tips and tricks to deal with the world around me. 💗
@@evanora5743 this reads like the story of a very strong and inspiring individual ~ thank you for sharing a part of your life experiences. I can understand why people may wrongly perceive many autistic/ adhd individuals as lazy but they have no understanding of how much energy we put into simply existing. All of our day to day tasks are manual. We have to run through everything step by step whilst being constantly attacked by our senses. Of course not everyday is equal but it is really damn tiresome most days for those of us who live in busy, loud environments. Thank you again, I see you and I’m in awe of your journey. You deserve joy, peace and love ~ however that looks for you 🌞
@@recoverywithme thank you for your kind words, and for the content you've been posting. 💗
Relate so much to this!
Something tells me we have a lot in common!!
Love the video, I'm afraid of being seen for sure and have a lot of masking behavior around hiding "childish" traits. Thanks for your work!
@@Broken_robot1986 thanks so much for this! It’s about a year on since this video & I am making it my sole mission to bring my inner child - back out! 😋 Turns out societal ‘rules’ are not my jam. Only play by the rules when I have to! That’s how much purposely spending more time alone (quality time for introspection away from projection) has changed my perspective the last few years. Making ourselves our best friend, and only allowing those people in who mirror that back to us. I’m sure I’ve alienated people from my past as a result but that’s why they’re not in my present. I want to run in the forest - find a cool stick or two 😂 im 35 next month and ageing no longer depresses or scares me. Cos I can still have fun in nature, be childlike, make stuff, even on my own- who knew? Let’s goo! 🧚🏼
Found out last week. Autism level 2 and ADHD. Still processing it in my brain. 51, professor, married, and now, completely lost!😢
Imagine, you got this far and achieved so much, whilst not knowing this information. What an incredibly strong and driven human. Receiving this news moves the actual earth beneath us, but once it settles it only gets better if we allow it . Now you can learn how to soften the edges of life. Lean into more self acceptance and frankly - pride! I think it’s quite incredible. Feel the feelings and process them, taking all the time you need. It will take time but you’re worth that time, and more 🧡
@@recoverywithme thnx for these words! I'm really proud of the person I've become! It was a struggle, but I'll take me as an example and help people reach their goals. Now I have a brilliant purpose! Keep on making videos. You help many people with your work!
That is truly magical! Over the moon for you and I feel very similarly also. I’m thinking about starting a separate channel for Autism related conversations - I’m worried my channel might get a little confusing otherwise. Wow it’s brilliant to reach self acceptance and care less about how we’re perceived. Amen my friend ☺️🤪
I can relate in the sense of getting diagnosed in my thirties, in my case with BPD. And looking back, so much makes sense now. At first I felt devastated, but I know I'm more than my disorder.
Thanks for sharing!
It's mind-boggling at first isn't it?! So happy we can see a diagnosis as knowledge we can use to better look after ourselves, rather than a label. Self love baby!
Mikaela, well done! You covered so many bases. I resonate with almost every point you covered. I was just diagnosed with ADHD. I scored low to mid-level on an autism test. I am in my 50’s. Have been on a self-discovery journey… and yes world peace is extremely important to me too.
This is great I'm recently sober and have come to realise and beginning to accept I'm autistic. Huge + on the reddit community, candles and houseplants.. oh and comfy clothes ! Thank you for sharing your experiences
I recommend glacial bottle for both hot and cold drinks. Always have one in my bag to battle the cottonmouth from the adhd medicine 🙂
Oo I am in the market for a water bottle & a travel coffee mug ~ thanks for this! Happy 2025 pal!
Thank you for making me feel better about my weirdness!!! You’re so great 😀
Awh, thank you so much for your uplifting comment! I’m so happy to hear this!! 🙌🏼🌼
I'm 3 days in learning about Autism and ADHD... Defenetly no time for the color red! haha!
Haha, right?! Now that you're 3 weeks in, have you learned anything that's surprised you/ changed the way you look at things?
half way in and i need to rewind this, my monotropic focus latched on to you just being you and all other info just vanished, haha i really like your energy
Hahaha I’m also guilty of this a lot of the time - totally get it. Thanks so much for the kind comment, especially as you’ll likely understand how much we question ourselves in this overwhelming world 😊🙏🏼
it ain’t easy being neurodiveerzy 😄 you’re welcome. i really enjoy connecting with and supporting neurodiversity advocates - sharing content like this demands a lot of courage and vulnerability. you guys are great role models 😌 i actually read a fun-fact about that yesterday, it says that autistic adults often have a wrinkled vertical line between their eyes, due to being confused/sceptical/misunderstood their whole life 😅
Reusable coffee mug - I find that Starbucks has the kind that doesn't leak. I'm using the same insulated travel mug that I've had for probably 10 years now. When I have to leave the house before I finish coffee, into the sealed mug it goes, and into my purse goes the mug. Because it just doesn't leak.
Yes good idea, I’ve wanted one for ages! :)
Im definitely gonna be working with a therapist to better understand myself and whats going on, im grateful to see the real beginning of my mental wellness
‼️♥️‼️ Every single one of these yes. Feeling blessed to have finally checked in with you today 🙏🏽🌻 (been limiting some social media).
A few shares -
Hot water bottle: omg luv so much! Whoever my next bedmate is, will have to understand 🤣😍. I’ve gone electric, have 2 sizes, keep the water ones on hand in case and for travel.
Jeans: still wearing, just realized I wore a size too small my whole life! aka fit perfectly, but not. And now some made w stretchy material, big yay.
Regulating meals and sleep: so key! Been huge struggle for me, because the trigger perception is that I’m not free. I’ve healed most of the roots of such perception, resulting in deeper levels of self love and self care.
Autism Adhd: I don’t have these, I am these. They only exist as ‘diagnosis’ because we live in a world of consumerism and conformity, and some of us have found it impossible to live like that. And this is the new trend, that leads to the new earth. ✨🌎♥️
Blessings and good fortune to you Mikaela!
@8:11 - 8:14 Super sweet :) Vit-D pills are very important, even if you get out into the sun.
I totally understand the feelings you are going through. I have thought for many years. At my last appointment with my GP, I had it sprung on me that she had been observing my behavior and thinks I have ADHD. She put me on meds and I have testing in February. At this point I will feel lost if I am not since it feels like the place I fit the most.
Hey John, thanks a million for your comment! I too understand what you are describing. I'm so sorry that you're feeling a bit lost with it all - i was in total overdrive when I first learned about this myself. Whole life flashed before me sort of thing and I felt even more alien than usual! I think the most important thing is to remember that we are who we are, we know ourselves best and the only difference it's made for me - is knowing how to better look after myself. One big lesson for me has been that just because someone is a 'professional' does not always make them right. In fact i've had quite the opposite experience. I know myself best, my gut instinct is hot! Don't let a label shake your self esteem or make you question who you are. Dig into what feels right, read up on it all and advocate for what you need. Do you feel better since Feb? Would love to hear your experience :)
@@recoverywithmeThanks for the reply. I was half-awake it appears. I meant to say I had suspected being autistic for years after I had started to see more diverse depictions of people with ASD in TV series - not the stereotypical "Rain Man" portrayal. Then I went back and forth as to if I was just trying to shoehorn myself in. In August I found out that my great niece was finally old enough to be diagnosed and get the help that she has needed for so long as she is nonverbal. Then I looked at my nephew, dad, grandma and was baffled at how I couldn't see it for so long and then I compared it with myself and it was a big "oh crap" period. When my GP said she saw something neurodivergent in me just from our few visits I knew I had to finally act and get tested. I will follow up when I get my results. Until then I'll be sitting here with my homemade badge. We *do* get badges right?
Life is complicated, then you learn you are AuDHD...
Some of us need to shovel in caffeine to sleep, some of us need to sleep less to be more awake, basically for everything you say someone is opposite that trait, you have a spectrum where "humans" is in the middle and then AuDHD is outside that normal range on one or the other side and perhaps above and below too.
When i realized, everything suddenly made sense and it was like all the stress and tension just left me and now its like in taking stock of me to now work better with myself and support my needs i realize masking made me ignorant of myself and my needs cause i didnt even think about my life through this lense now im more aware of me and what i deal with actually and so im having to readjust to make sure im gonna have better living
Hi Fellow AuDHD-er here! 🤗 Great video! I was just thinking about the dopamine detox thing. I'd like to share some thoughts in order to understand it better if that's fine 🙏:
We naturally produce less dopamine because of the ADHD, therefore going on social media apps etc might be what we need in order to get 'enough' dopamine. If you don't have a job or can do other things that you actually find meaningful, then I don't think this works.
I don't have friends, a partner, a job, a pet, a proper college education, etc. I have severe dyslexia. Right now I can't feel enough joy to ever relax, no matter what I do or how I do it. ADHD-meds don't work (yet). I get panic attacks when I take them. So right now I'm only taking antidepressants, and not until we've reached max dose will I probably be taking ADHD-meds again. I don't see meaning in anything besudes love, but a life of love is impossible for me right now because of how far away from society I am. In this moment, a dopamine detox would absolutely destroy me. I'd probably go into a psychosis and lose the control of myself completely. I don't think I could survive that.
I'm 23 and got diagnosed with both 3 months ago.
ah the hair thing 💇♀that felt very validating thanks! I have also struggled with hair & scalp sensitivity, can't stand the hair dressers (which I was in denial about for ages because it's "normal" for women to "enjoy" the hairdressers?!) but also struggle with the sensations & management of long hair. Now I have an undercut which helps me too 😄
This was the video i have always been looking for! I’m high masking just like you! I’m the most ambitious girl you can imagine and to be hit with all this info about myself at 25, I feel incredibly stuck in my career choices over my mental health and making decisions around work and home life.
I’m so glad!! Choose a life that makes your nervous system happy ~ lean into understanding what causes you stress and try to minimise it. Then start maximising on JOY 💛✨🦋 it’s completely changed my life. Life is for living, not just surviving and ‘fitting in’. Ahhh what a revelation!! 🦋🌞💖✨💘💫🌸
I feel your pain. I found out the same way at 48 now Im 50.
I’m so grateful but mind blown! But mostly grateful just to have the knowledge. It all makes sense now. I hope you find peace on this journey - it’s good to know there are many, many of us on it 💛
@@recoverywithme i am very greatfull to have finally found out what never made sense. Haveing a piece of paper or assement just validates what I knew (but didn't know) subconsciously. The hardest part of it all is spending your whole life becoming the best version of someone you cant be, or know, so that you can just feel like you fit in. The hardest thing about masking is keeping it up or being able to turn it on automatically when you turn to speak to someone.
I started the process of this journey when we found out my youngest son had it. During this process I awakened one morning and experienced what I know now was a massive burnout. All the elaborate methods and switches I had somehow put into place for 48 years suddenly stopped all within a second. All of my sensory issues came back to me. Everything I did just a moment before was undone. My mind and body suddenly rejected the operating system I had put into place the only problem was, I had no clue where the "switches" we located or how to turn them on. Fast forward... yes I am greatfull to know. It helps so much to listen to videos like these. It gives me the strength to keep pushing through. I think the hardest thing is to wake everyday trying to convenience the world you are not who you say you are. My loved ones are great but its difficult for them to understand. I find myself searching diligently for information to give even doctors the information they need on how "my" body works.
Long story short its like being a genius on the inside but you never get a opportunity for someone to see it because of the massive amount of things you have to overcome the second you get out of bed.
I don't want anyone reading this to think its not worth it because it is. I think the only way to get better at it is to take care of yourself and use these steps to become a better version of ones ownself and don't live to "fit in" live to overcome! Live for "you" which can sound very selfish but you can't truly love people if you dont love the true version of yourself. Its a difficult journey and to all of us out there dont be discouraged, be real , be authentic, dont be afraid, just keep pressing on!
If anyone has any questions on my journey I can be reached at jaytimms@att.net. I have no podcast only personal experiences of someone who was late diagnosed. The only way through this is to lean on others who we can trust! Hang in there and be strong!
Keep pushing out these encouraging videos. We need them!
I’m 2 months from being g 50. I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. Found out I’m autistic 6 weeks ago. I’m I. The process of figuring out who I am from a lifetime of masking and stuffing all my behavior traits. It’s a relief to know because my life makes so much sense now but I have angst at finding out who I am whiteout masking. How is this going to impact my life? And why does it take so long?!
I feel like a walking contradiction.
I share many of the same things as you but I have so many different. We are all so unique.
Tack för dina videos, känns alltid tröstande och stöttande
Tack 🥰Skicka mig ett email hello@recoverywith.me, sa far jag svara lite mer 'in-depth' 🤗 Kram!
I only realized a couple months ago that I am AuDHD as well. They are definitely a frustrating and contradictory pair of diagnosis!!
Such a comforting and informative video.
@@off-the-label Awh thank you, this makes my heart sing! 💛
Det här var otroligt bra. Tack ❤. This was very good, Thank you.
Tack! Glad att få läsa lite Svenska hihi 😁🙌🏼
@@recoverywithme varsågod 😁 , väldigt glad hittade din kanal, ny prenumerant. Keep up the good work .
I was diagnosed with autism in childhood and after wayyyy to long I am finally accepting and realizing that I have ADHD as well, about to be diagnosed right now at 28... I don't know if there was anything I COULDN'T relate to in this video 😅
I especially relate to the dissonance of working corporate city jobs! I am considering quitting a very draining, meaningless career in IT and following my passions myself... Although I don't know exactly what they are yet, and it feels really scary. Both financially (of course!) and psychologically. It's inspiring to hear your story.
Förresten, jag skrattade ihjäl mig vid 08:50. Har gjort så med mina katter hela livet 😹 Finns inget bättre 😊Riktigt roligt att algoritmerna lät mig hitta din kanal! Du verkar riktigt jordnära och härlig. Jag ser fram emot mer! Du har inte funderat på att bredda din kanal mer mer VLOG-content och liknande? Jag tror det skulle vara toppen!
Hej från Sverige! 👋 🇸🇪
Hej Hej! Tack! I’m in the process of moving back to Sweden after 28 years - so excited to get back to the forest and the lakes!! I’m so glad you could relate but also sorry for the struggles. I loved reading your comment and have no doubt you’re gonna carve out a path that feels good for your soul. Choose yourself, choose ‘little you’ every time and you can’t go wrong! Time to re-parent ourselves, we have a lot more power, are a lot more powerful than we’ve felt. I’m rooting for you! 🙌🏼🌟
19:48 I feel like there were so many things about me lost to time. Like it is taking me a lot of effort to try to remember who that person was even xD Recently discovered apparently I had a thing for jewelry and bangles at some point? They were pretty and made jingly noises xD but now I moreso prefer no jewelry at all on me cause it hurts. It gets very annoying. And bangles also felt like shackles for some reason...
I have both it makes everything extra challenging
@@Dancestar1981 they’re definitely at odds a lot of the time! Like Bart Simpson and his evil twin.. but which one is which? 😂 (I’m just joking but sometimes it does feel that way).
Never related so much to a UA-cam video before thank you for sharing!!
@@HomemakerDaze none of us are alone when we’re all together ~ if you ever feel lost, ask what ‘little you’ wants. You can’t go wrong 💛
This was a BRILLIANT video. I can really relate. Thanks for making it easier for me to see how I can help myself, big love 🧡
We are so similar 🤩 I identified with literally everything on this list.
Thanks for hanging out! I’m so happy you felt a connection with me - and sorry for some of the struggles. I love that we’re all finding each other and bonding over similarities. So cool! 🫶🏼
Dis ease / CONSTANT STREAM OF stress is such a huge catalyst for me . The toxins then reside in my body for days afterwards and then the burnout
100% relate. Simplifying life, leaving the city and focusing on what brings me true joy has really helped. I spend a lot more time alone and it feels a lot more balanced. Hopefully you’ll find some similar answers that will help you feel good in your skin 🙏🏼✨
Do you have any pain symptoms
I’m not sure if this question was for me but I do experience a lot of (sometimes chronic) pain. Especially if I have something viral ~ I also experience what i call ‘sister pain’. If I injure my ankle say - I may get pain symptoms somewhere else in my body as well (as a direct result). I also experience a lot of fever type symptoms. At school, even a spot on my face could make me feel as if I had the flu, headache etc. and all my sensitivities flair up. Is that similar to what you experience? I’ve never dared to talk much about it as I don’t know how to communicate it firstly, and was scared of sounding like a hypochondriac.. I realise now it’s very common in our community.
@@recoverywithme yes Ime diagnosed fybromyalgia CFS decdes but only just diagnosed autism ADHD heds are you hypermobile it's muscle pain worst symptom daily some has changed over time people who don't understand use those hypochondriac terms Dr lenz channel is very good are you hypermobile? Do you have SPD the OCD is involved alot I believe. We have a different subconscious brain
😮 I can't believe I'm hearing everything I've been going through for over 40yrs.
Sometimes the internet does a lot of good connecting likeminded people 😊🙌🏼
Oh, btw, I absolutely dislike being perceived!!!I I also have OCD, struggle with disordered eating habits, body dysmorphia. So sometimes I can't even go to the store because I don't want people to see me!
And I'm not drinking because of my BPD and anxiety. It is so challenging to go through life sober sometimes.
Mm I hear you! I'm sorry you're also experiencing some tough challenges that seemingly are so easy for most. And yeah for sure not drinking can make socialising really hard for those of us who are anxious - but i also know that alcohol makes both my brain and body feel like crap so it's not worth it. On a big plus, its so helpful to be able to find similar people over the internet, when real-life is such a challenge. I've come to fully appreciate that big groups or loud environments are not for me, so I only really hang out one-to-one now and again but I deffo also struggle with simple things like going to the shop for milk or whatever. There is one literally 5 metres from my apartment but it gives me anxiety just imagining going there. It's a bit easier if I manage a walk before hand and go to the shop at the end of the walk before coming home - as if i have to set myself up for it haha. I'm sure you sort of relate!! Sending love!!
You sound like me when I talk, exactly like me holy cow !! and I'm heavily suspecting that I'm AuDHD too. I'm trying to get diagnosed now at 19 because I had to drop out of uni (temporalily, as of now).
Well I’m sure I’d take that as a great compliment 😉 Absolutely take the time you need, ask what you need and go live your life however feels good for you. This is your life, you deserve peace and happiness ~ proud of you 🤩💞
Thank you so much for sharing this
Thank you for spending some time 😊
I'm 42 and I felt like something was wrong with me. I wondered why something that seems simple I struggle with.
Diagnosed ADHD age 55. Diagnosed ASD 58. All during menopause.
Same! But 53 and 53. All three. ADHD. Autism. Menopause.
Thanks this was very useful - have ordered some veg boxes :)
I can’t explain how much I love them - it’s like Christmas but with lots of fibre 😂 Thanks for watching! 👋🏼
I come from a recent breakdown, i realized im audhd and it was literally 1111 when i had this realization and in choosing to watch this kinda had a thought arise going boy am i going the right way here in my self care journey or am mistaken and it was 733 on the clock in my vocabulary with spirit this with 33 means doing good keep it up where a number with 44 presented at a similar moment in time to say you done good go rest
10 months ago at 33, the same thing happened to me.
💖 Thanks Mikaela. I'm a 50yr old audhd comedian... the autism wasn't diagnosed until my early 30s either. Let me know if I can help with anything.
You are my Guru💛
Haha! Tack det samma! We can take turns, you can teach me about interior design & seasonal cosy recipes💓🦋
@@recoverywithme🤗💛
You're cat!!! I wasn't going to comment but the cat changed everything. I can't say that I've done that particularly, but i do have cats. And i couldn't imagine life without them. I've been really struggling lately. Been diagnosed ADHD at 45. To me though it feels like they're missing something. I'm depressed alot so it doesnt make sense.
You know yourself best. If it feels like they’re missing something, always know you can advocate for yourself and ask for an assessment or a second opinion. I too spent many years feeling very low and couldn’t work out why my brain didn’t seem to work like everyone else’s. And why I was more sensitive to light/ noise etc. And yes you’re 100% right, life is best with cats. I’m just watching the sunrise with my cat Tony. Best and only way I want to start my day. Wishing you all the best Julia! 🧡
Nitsuj lessons, I love that. ❤😂
I self diagnosed myself 3 days ago with ADHD.. And after this video i'm truly wondering if i have autism aswell because i also fear of being seen and very quickly drained. Thankyou for the video 🩷❤️
Yesssss i cant get diagnosed in my city unless i pay by myself 😢 but i relate so much and my friend has autism and adhd and we are soooo similar. I'm sick of wearing uncomfy clothes, bought a couple slide on pants 😅 and im never turning back. Jeans are horrid. Your cat is very similar to my Moon! ❤ i love my new soft toy to cuddle also. Very comforting. Ive shaved my hair off a few times cause i cant handke it touching me! But now ive grown it medium length and tie it back in a low pony. Which isnt the most flattering but dont care anymore. Thanks for the great video, hi from New Zealand!
@@HomemakerDaze hi!!👋🏼 Awh wicked! Hey, when I recorded this I was admittedly self-diagnosed. I knew it in my bonesss ~ since then I’ve been formally diagnosed by the NHS in London but it was a long and winding road. Self-diagnosis in my opinion, is just as valid. I know the feeling of when it just ‘clicks’. It’s the answer to so much confusion, pain and anguish. As well as some cool special gifts/ talents! Self acceptance is key to moving through anxiety, masking and drawing things towards us that.. well, aren’t for us. Lean into ‘little you’, you’ll find many answers there 🫶🏼
@@recoverywithmethank you so much for the validation and support ❤ I really feel like at age 34 I'm just now finally understanding myself and taking care of myself. The anxiety is what I need to stay on top of! I wish you the best! X
@HomemakerDaze that is WICKED & you’re most welcome. I’m also 34 and it feels like a solid time in life to embark on this new chapter 😁
@@HomemakerDazeyou have SPD part of autism do you have hypomobility I have fybromyalgia ime late diagnosed 44 ADHD autism heds sins now diagnosed
I loved this video. Thank you ❤
Pleasure is all mine, so happy you connected with it ~ thanks for hanging out! 🌞
Tony ❤. I do the same with my cats.
Found out this week. 51. 😅
Awh wow, I hope you feel like it’s given some clarity but u understand it can also be very overwhelming (speaking from personal experience), so take it day by day. Personally I feel stronger and more accepting of myself but it’s taking time. Learning every day ☺️ Love to you! 🧡
@@recoverywithme hey! Thankyou! I loved your video btw. I didn't get bored or tune out. One thing becoming very clear to me is that the people I like best are either Neurodivergent in some way, or have loads of traits (or are just undiagnosed like me). I teach dance and snd I always connect best to divergent kids too. Sooo illuminating! It has definitely brightened my outlook, but yeah, feeling a bit of overwhelm too. Especially kniwing when I tell people they will say and think all kinds of conditioned BS. Not that I care particularly what folks think, just that it will be annoying. But of course I want to share because I find it so interesting! Lol. This life never ceases to fascinate me. Anyway, thank you for sharing! ❤
30:20 Something I'm working on but this!👏👏
Gosh it all takes time doesn't it.. and patience is never my strong point. But I'm so glad to hear from people like yourself because it normalises all these weird feelings and STRUGGLES!! We are in very good company and I dare say not even in the minority. You're doing great no matter what & I am blooming proud of you!!! 😁🥰
vitamin B helps prevent and recover from blowout.
after 5 minutes of stress, all the vitamin B one has in reserve has been consumed by their brain.
I use a B-complex, i pop one if im expected a bad day, if i start feeling stressed, most of the time i take one with my morning coffee, just to keep me relaxed and on top of things.
That’s amazing, thank you for the recc! I’ve been thinking my diet needs more vit B, so here is my confirmation! 🙌🏼
The hot water bottles are leaking because you're overfilling them. You should aim to fill it 1/3 to 1/2 maximum!
The rest going out etc had that from birth but hadnt a clue why until diagnosis 43 years later huh
We are only taught to ‘fit in’ no matter what the cost. No one teaches us to look within for the answers. It’s all a big Hollywood construct. It’s all a lie.
This is probaly my first time commenting on youtube ever, but i'm a nurse and have experience in burn units, and hot water bottles are so dangerous! They can leak and explode. Try and look for an alternative like cherry pit pillows which are much safer!
Hello Lynn! Thank you, I really appreciate your comment - they are very dangerous. I’ve had multiple burst. Will look at alternatives for the winter (that don’t require a microwave) 😊
I'm overwhelmingly emotional, it's all hitting me, & I can't stop crying, I'm so exhausted all the time, shocked our society is expected of me to catch up, how can I when my thinking is different?..... & Now I feel alone where I live & my surroundings 😢😢😢 oh thank you sorr
ry it's all overwhelmingly shocking about this! 😭
It’s okay, friend. It is overwhelming ~ the only thing you need to focus on is self love and acceptance. I promise it is the miracle worker we all need. We can’t change society, immediately, but we can change ourselves. Not to fit but to blossom in our own way. Connect with likeminded people online if you can’t find them in real life yet. But most of all; connect with yourself and figure out what needs healing from a challenging journey. I am Mikaela and finally in 2024 I can say that I am damn proud of being her. That’s one transformation I never thought I’d know. Choose yourself and advocate for what you need. I stopped feeling alone as soon as I chose myself. It might sound weird but just start with some journaling and some gentle curiosity. Lean into some cosy special interest and make a life that YOU like. Unsubscribe from the rest, for now 💛🦋
Does anybody end up pissing off the world when they try to suppress their adhd? For example, i xan aggressively attack my adhd freeze by forcing myself into getting things done and i end up overproducing especially because i can trick myself into hyperfocus by turning the task into a game. The end result is resentment from coworkers. Its the only way i can do things especially if its something i dont find interest in. And it gets me into hot waters quite often. Its depressing because it burns me out and i get 0% satisfaction and it just never ends. And God forbid there is any interruption because i start losing interest real fast.
I hear you, that sounds so challenging to deal with! Being misunderstood is tough when your intention is good. Is this a career/ job you’re tied to - or is there some room to move in a direction of more interest? Or perhaps it’s just certain tasks you’re not so interested in. I know we can get stuck sometimes for fear of change (not saying this is your case as I don’t know) but I hope you find a way to either communicate what you need to your work place (perhaps a conversation or written explanation could help), or the inspiration to find something else that works better for you 🙌🏼
Let them suffer, push back! ...at least until you be able to swap your environment.
Many of us get targeted by fearful, envious NTs by merely being ourselves... it is not a minor issue this need to improve our ability to answer relentlessly whenever they suppose a threat to us due to their inner miseries.
U just described my bf
With friendships.. I only have other AUDHD friends. I find i can unmask around people who can fully relate unless it’s a partner. I don’t spend time with anyone who I can’t unmask around. Unless I can’t help it * then I’ll suffer the consequences. Your distracted brain made me laugh very much, as I relate and I feel like I’m watching myself tbh 🤣 we live very similar lives apart from London! How do you do that?! 😅
I’m so happy you’ve got people in your life who allow you to be yourself. I’m working on that for sure. I’ve changed/ evolved quite a lot since this video ~ unmasking and returning to ‘little me’ is happening at a very fast rate. I’ve made it my absolute priority and the main move I made was.. leaving London. Yep! Haha, after a decade I was done with the stress, I totally mirror your feelings on it. I now live on a barge in a rural area, surrounded by my first love; nature!! 🦋 So I think I’m due an update video, I’m just recharging from a very intense few weeks. But once I emerge (maybe later this week) I’ll pop a new video up to talk about it all. There’s so much to say on this topic, and a lot of work to do in advocating for us all. Thanks for this comment, it always cheers me up in a big way 😊✨
So true miss my grandfather autism and now late mother we need same as a kind son's now diagnosed
Guy using hair ties. Man bun for the win. No scraggly hairs on the neck though!
Just a personal preference but... Its just called a bun. Iean, how silly would it sound if the female equivalent was called a lady bun?
@@chatroom101 I quite like that! But I am kind of silly
The stickers on the laptop is definitely a thing.
First time I’ve let myself sticker a laptop. I don’t have any regrets but I could probably put some more effort in 😆
I’m in love with you 🥰🥰
Thank´s for your video. I LOVE IT. I´m 63 years old. when I was 49 years old, I had a Big meltdown and didn´t want to exist anymore. the physician told me the diagnoses was Bipolar type 2. I know it is AuDHD (.All my children and grandchildren have several sorts of diagnoses.) , But they refuses to give me a inquiry. I eats medicinen for Bipolar type 2 still. I live i Sweden and the physician here i really Arrogant and bully. And I am of course a WOMAN.
It’s funny there aren’t diagnosed conditions for people who go through life without issues but cause them for other people. The fact some or most people are well adjusted to life and others are not so, has to take into account the fact that there can be 2 different reasons for struggle. Either the person has a disability or they have gifts which they struggle to manifest in an ordinary life. Being different and struggling might not be YOUR fault, but the fact that societal structure and cognition of others is on a different, and even inferior, level to yourself. Sensitive, good people will on average suffer more in life, simply because of their differences. There are some positives to being gifted if the person can manifest their gift. Plus, the gifted person may be able to avoid pitfalls that others fall prey to more easily. But divergence is inherently alienating.
Yes I can align with this ~ because since choosing to align with my true self and also choosing to reject the perceived ‘rules’ of social engagement et. Al. I feel 1000% more in control and at peace with life. Digging into triggers and trauma as well as strengthening my intuition, has had rather incredible results. Since this video I am once more, a new version of myself. More ‘me’ ~ I’ve ‘regressed’ back into little me and I am blooming over the moon! My nervous system thanks me daily 🦋
P.s. have been recharging but will bring an update out soon ~ thinking about a separate channel for autismwithme ~ my recovery work may be alienating for some and vice-versa. Will have a ponder!
I defined the problem in general, and it sounds like you are living a good strategy to cope and prosper.
INFJ need to regulate Fe. Too much is not the answer.
You talk and act like I do unmasked b ut I can never imagine being so unamsked in front of people. 🤣 So brave,
It’s a rollercoaster ride for sure - emotionally as well as physically. So much has changed since this video, I’m barely recognisable even looking back a year. Unmasking is such a process but it’s a beautiful one. Will do an update soon 🌞
❤
🥰♥
That Leonardo clicking and pointing meme.
Hahaha a personal favourite 🤩
How did you get diagnosed for autism as an adult?
Referral through my GP with the NHS. Quite a long and painful process - they lost the referral 3 times before we even got started. So it’s good to keep advocating for ourselves and push for what we deserve 🦋
I should mention I am UK based.
i like this video and the energy so much. my only thought is that i wanna be your friend. greetings from a fellow adhdler who thinks it could be autism as well.
Note to self: motorboat cat today
Hi! Mikaela! I discovered that I'm Autistic last year and I think I might be Audhd after doing a lot of research. I started my own YT channel here immediately after because I felt a strong need to advocate and spread awareness about how it is to be Neurodivergent. I think it's cool to find people here who are doing the same. I'm 37 years old and I've been masking my entire live obviously because no one could see the traits, or maybe they just didn't know anything about it. Most of my traits are internal but I'm trying to figure out who I am without the mask and that might uncover some visible traits. Is there any community you can recommend where I can get to know other Neurodivergent people? I hope you are doing awesome! / Isabella
Hej Isabella! I absolutely empathise with your story - it sounds incredibly similar to my own. It can only be a great thing that more of us start sharing our stories and find people we can connect with that make us feel more understood and supported - so 'tusen tack' for your comment & for sharing your world! There is a great Reddit community r/AutismInWomen but outside of that I haven't explored anything yet, as life has been a little crazy with moving house etc. If you find anything please send recommendations my way too! Mikaela
@@recoverywithme Vad kul att du svarade!
Your gorgeous and smart
Awh, thanks a MIL for your support Jim! 🤩
I had to accept that my stomach is not built for milk. I did white knuckle that for YEARS. Not worth it!!!!
Oh I feel this! It causes real mischief in there! Well done on the realisation ~ so many foods contain it! Even things that have no business containing milk. I try to make most of my food myself now just to avoid the bullsh*t 🙌🏼✨
are you still going to live on a barge?
I have been for almost a year, already! Time has flown 🐳
Never cope with london with autism you do well live un the country had to gi last year ti get diagnosed heds first since 1998
Yes i remember first visiting years ago, before I’d moved there and my gut reaction was ~ I am never coming here unless I really have to, let alone live there! I but I convinced myself that I had to do so in order to be seen as ‘successful’. I was lost and didn’t believe I could exist as my true self. London is exhausting and I don’t think it’s healthy for anyone to be there for too long. Especially not us sensitive people 🙏🏼
Are you an INFJ?
It’s been so long since I did one of those I have no idea?!
I thought the same thing, I am too:) I found out I’m an INFJ two years ago, then autistic last year at age 55, also a recovering alcoholic 5 years sober
Yes the diagnoses came late for us, I’m 54. Would have been diagnosed at school with depression and anxiety but they weren’t a thing back then. I say INFJ is hidden neurodivergence because we are usually able to fit in and adapt, but at our own expense.
Your video needs to not have music that's distracting. Please and thank you.
Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated 😊
I’m 2 minutes in and can already hear her setting us up for affiliate marketing commissions , buying products from her links.! 😂 hey ho, let’s learn more. X
Does cat feel better after such a noise& vibration assault??! 😂
🤣🤣🤣 most of the time but probably not all. I try to be as respectful as I can but you make a good point. Luckily he is a very touchy-feely guy himself haha 🥰
You talk too slow. I can't handle this!!!
Then this may not be for you but if you want to, you can speed it up in your settings. People have told me that I talk too fast in some videos. Thank you for your feedback.
@@recoverywithme Your speed was pretty good for me!
Hehe, I’m glad 😊