The Role of Influence in OSDD and Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2022
- In this video from The CTAD Clinic, Dr Mike Lloyd (Clinic Director) discusses a concern raised in therapy about how a person experiences their alters within Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) in comparison with media or social media based content. Mike looks at how many people with OSDD and DID are more likely to feel 'influence' within their dissociation toward or away from specific things in the environment than be able to dissociate 'voluntarily'. The role of influence is looked at with ways of approaching and managing influence as it occurs in everyday settings. This is a technique recommended within therapy settings.
#otherspecifieddissociativedisorder #osdd
#dissociativeidentitydisorder #did
#therapy
Omg the supermarket shopping 😭😭 It's the cause of most of the conflict within our system and also the greatest cause of what we call the push/pull dynamic. You explained exactly what happens for us. Usually we also end up walking in circles and picking stuff up, putting it back, standing in an aisle dissociated and not knowing what to do - and then this draws attention from security 🙈 You describing it has made us feel so validated, so thank you! 🥰
i'm not diagnosed with a personality disorder, but i'm hoping my a therapist can open doors for me... this example was a big eye-opener\. i was like--but--this is so me. i've been questioning things for a couple of years now, and the dissociation gets really bad sometimes, but knowing that this push/pull that you and he described is also a symptom--well, it makes perfect sense now.
I learned to make lists be4 shopping
Thank you for this comment.
mate ❤
TBH, if it's something one of us would be willing to shove into the face hole so we can get calories that day, then that's a win for us. It's going in the cart.
I feel this so much. After 6 years on and off in therapy for anxiety, recurrent depression, and being diagnosed with ASD, I finally came to terms with the reality of my childhood trauma and I'm finally doing trauma-informed therapy, through which I've come to realise the degree of my dissociation and lack of integration. Something that is very exhausting is to have conflicting wants and wishes as a constant theme inside your head; there is always some part of me that won't be quite satisfied with the current choice, and I have to deal with that push and pull which takes an energy I don't necessarily have. It can happen when I need and want to work and there is this other part that wants to play and couldn't be bothered about work at all. The thing is that all of this takes *energy* to manage, so I end up being drained 24/7. I'm hoping that therapy is finally going to give me tools to work with to navigate this all.
I completely understand, thank you for sharing. Time and energy are powerful resources that not everyone has in abundance. Well done for getting as much done as you have!
my therapist reminded me of the "talking stick" where - we reassure others that we do hear, and that they will have their turn to talk - eat - etc. It's a way to get to know one another. :)
Grocery shopping is such a bother. We often get home and don't want ANY of the things we bought. And if I try to force myself to eat something I don't want, I feel sick. Sometimes I eat all vegetarian, sometimes I eat a whole steak. We're all over the place!!!
I hear this difficulty in food choices a lot, vegetarian and veganism not always being ‘respected’ or even known about, inside.
I tried to explain what I now know is a chronic level of depersonalization as always having only one foot in. Always ready to step the rest of the way out, to escape.
I’m grateful for your videos and gentle tone and pacing of information. I also “hate” the videos bc they are bringing me closer to believing this is what is happening to me. Thanks for all you do, I’m so grateful.
Thank you for this video. It’s so easy to get caught up in the whole “their experiences vs ours” from online presences and it really ends up with “I’m lying to myself and others. This isn’t real!”
Especially this being the start of therapy for did/osdd for us, we’ve really got terrible communication overall… plus we know we are different from each other but at the same time don’t know anything about ourselves as individuals so learning to “unmask” from what we were supposed to be our whole life so far has also been a struggle. Hearing from you now that influence is way more commonly experienced in day to day life is reassuring as often we get only vibes or ideas which (when you’re so used to assuming it’s just weirdly specific thoughts popping into your mind as normal) are actually one of us having some input on the situation at hand.
There’s definitely been times where the outfit we end up in for the day is a big jumbled mess of styles as a compromise! 😅
A “big jumbled mess of styles” sounds right for many, I may use that in explaining this to people if that is ok?. Thank you!
Maybe that is why I suddenly got full on headache/migraine/nausea yesterday as I was about to leave the house to visit parents who can be triggering for various parts. I thought we were okay to visit yesterday, but my body and brain shut down for two hours (totally passed out asleep) for no known medical reason when I thought we were doing okay!
Thank you for the excellent information and presentation; it is so very helpful.
You are most welcome! Influence to not do something can certainly happen, I hope you were ok.
Hi...I'm new to your channel...I have watched almost all of your videos...thank you for sharing...I am much older and have been diagnosed with DID...I stay to myself so I have no friends or family...finding you on you tube lets me feel connected to something and I can have some comfort in knowing that there are others...your content is amazing and I am so happy you put it all out there...Thank you
You are welcome, I am so glad they are helpful for you.
Accessoiries is also a good thing to ask: "Which jewelry, which hair bands or clips, ... do you want to wear today? If any at all?"
Also letting everyone who wants make/buy/... one piece especially for them. And if they're out or close they may wear it.
Absolutely, all these things can work, the key is not being trauma-connected. Accessories would be excellent!
This is sooooo helpful. I've experienced almost constant fluctuations of need vs. want and had always written it off as me just being too indecisive. And not seeing this demonstrated on the more "famous" OSDD and DID channels, I continued to write it off. More recently, I've started doing the work to understand these parts and their needs and wants as separate from my own, and validating that actually helps me feel less anxious about it.
Sounds like you are doing some great work!
This was really interesting because I’m very rigid about my food but the more rigid I am the more the 4 year old pudding fiend comes out and ruins my diet 😔 I’m trying to be less rigid but it’s super hard to let myself have things. I’m also scared of when they go out and buy stuff because I don’t want to be a hoarder. I did notice going out and buying my parts clothing made them happier. I’ve always thought about influence as the others taking away my choices but you have reframed it for me as allowing them to have their own choices. Thank you 🙏
as someone who is questioning their mental health diagnoses (or lack thereof), i really appreciate all your videos while i wait. it's nice to hear from a professional that i'm not "crazy" and that some of these things that i do are symptoms of something bigger. definitely something to bring up to my drs when i'm assigned one (i recently moved)
Thank you!
like for children - its empowering as well, because it empowers them to make choices and feel like they have some power over their life. For those who have not been able to make things safe for themselves, a feeling of control over their life is a powerful and positive thing. Sometimes like for children, if you do need to do something that can't be followed being able to say you can choose between A and B, so at least they still have some control over their situation even if they can't have exactly what they want.
Yes, some of us ar children. its so great for us to be out and recognized. we've been knocking on her brain and heart for years. Knock Knock. now she knows we are here. Thank you for noticing that for our safety. thank you so much, Kiri your last name is very long. thank you.
Thank you for the video! I'm currently becoming more aware of how the others influence our day to day life so the timing couldn't be more perfect! I can't even begin to count how many times I've walked from one part of a store to the complete other side and back because I felt I had to get a product there, only to realise I didn't want that at all or had to explain we already owned a similar thing at home. Acknowledging the others' needs and, if possible, negociating when we notice the influence does help a lot. Thanks! Watching your videos has helped us to accept ourselves more and to find ways to grow together.
Thank you for your positivity! Glad this one helped, it really is an important part of life, and needs the sort of understanding you are bringing.
This is great, thank you! Such a simple thing I'd never even thought of, somehow. I have about ~20 other alters (some of which are fragments, but they still have some influence) and it is VERY difficult to clearly communicate preferences and suggestions between each other due to all of the varying likes and dislikes. It's also difficult for some of us to even want to communicate with the others, not just because of amnesiac walls, but because they just simply don't feel like it/want to/are scared to. So this is an amazing tool. I do this with my child alters, and it's a lot easier with them because small children are generally pretty easy to please; they know what they want and don't want very concretely most of the time. Our teenage and adult alters (and even a spiritual protector of ours!) are MUCH more indecisive and will absolutely benefit from being shown this kind of simple empathy.
Thank you again!
Thank you too, Molly!
Thank God you r still here. I'm so scared you will stop making videos. Please don't stop.
Hopefully I won’t!
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly the experience I've had. Sometimes coming with headaches if I ignore or fight against the influence. I really like the idea of asking for preferences and waiting for a response. Will try that today.
Good luck with it, I hope it will be ok.
This video makes me realize what a huge role this type of dissociation plays in our life. Our apartment is decorated around this: various rooms decorated with specific interests in mind, corners and rooms dedicated to specific purposes... I'm kind of curious though, I was actually of the impression based on some early research materials that voluntary switching was the goal of learning to cope with DID/OSDD. It took us some time but we learned how to do it. But we have always had very high coconsciousness, to an unusual degree (can converse out loud, even collaborate on artwork). Are you saying there are some who can never do this, no matter how much effort they put into learning how?
It depends on the support people may get, but the concern raised by clients was more that watching people on social media happily and easily move between alters isn't their experience at all, and causes distress in their comparison to it..
I really just want to raise awareness for what dissociation ACTUALLY feels like in real life. Hopefully you get this message. Real Dissociative Identity Disorder is NOTHING like the way movies depict it to be, nor is it anything like the way most UA-camr portray it to be and thats so unfair for those kinds of Narcissists to do to this population of people who are actually suffering from this disorder. There are alot of fakers in this community and the reality is much darker and lame than most people even understand thanks to all the Narcissism in the world who are basically just trying to further the damage they've already done to this community. In simplest terms, it feels like being a computer with normal processing speed, until you're about 20 or 30 and then suddenly your computer can barely process anything because there are too many tabs open yet from my perspective was unaware until my late 20's. Memory shuts down and even the simplest task is nearly impossible and takes a million years just like when a computer is old and breaks down. There are so many glitches in reality similar to schizoaffective disorder and you basically become infantile. Thats the cold hard reality of this disorder. Its not fun at all and it is certainly not an advantage in any way shape or form. You really cant even understand multiple perspectives because in reality none of the alters can share emotional information or perspective taking because they're dissociated from eachother just like galaxies are too far away from eachother to communicate properly. People try to make this disorder seem more functional and useful than it actually is and im tired of hearing that non sense. Its absolute hell. Dr. Collin Ross said that patients with DID have up to 3 times as much psychosis as people with schizophrenia... So, its not as functional as the Narcissists portray it to be in media. I hope this helps anyone who ACTUALLY has this disorder... 🤬🤯😑😱🤗🙄😮💨😳😵💫
I can’t comment on whether people online are faking or not, but I agree there seems to be misrepresentation. It may be reality to them, but clinically, the picture is very different. Some as you describe, are truly disabled by dissociation, it is painful and full of suffering; some are in the ‘middle ground’ of confusion, where loss of control is intermittent.
Thank you for this comment. All I know is that I’m a confused mess and your comment was one of the most genuinely relatable descriptions of how I feel more and more the older I get. I definitely can’t at all to the content creators doing videos about having fun with their alters or parts, playtime, makeup, and other such bs….although it’s a nice distraction here and there. Real life is just much more how you have put it, and I really appreciate it because I need to have the bubble of false hope shattered here and there.
Can relate, to an extent and also be careful of being harmful, and pathologizing and using abelist terms?
Ok so I unleashed 50 years of silence to my mum about a family member. I felt a little bad after but the heavy weight and question of where is all the rage that shows up come from, the roots originated from, just came to a clarified head and busted at the seams. She actually instead of sweeping it under the rug or being in denial, cried apologized wanted to be my sounding board and to understand how to help us be closer and heal. Thank you I could not have done this without your videos and care 💖
I am very happy these are helping in any way - thank you.
Thank you so much for this video. I am years in therapy and so resistant in acknowledging/ making contact with my insiders. I recently decided that i want to commit to trying to make contact and to listen inside. The ideas you suggest are such a comfort... Today i listened and acknowledged their need for a small soft toy that i can carry in my handbag to comfort them when needed. It felt good listening to their relief of being heard. Thank you again.
I recently started doing this when it comes to food sometimes, but in particular when it comes to what tea I have in the evening. In a way, it's how they communicate their feelings and needs to me.
Thank you dr Mike, for another very clear and helpful video! I feel so much validated and 'made sense of' by your videos, and again this time.
I found out that knitting shawls for my parts is a good way for me to give time and attention to them, even before I can get direct communication with them. I make them their own shawl, to their liking (at least I try), and then give it to them (with the help of my therapist as go-between). It helps to gain and earn their trust. It comnunicates to them that they are valued and that someone thinks they are worth the time and materials, and want them to own something for themselves. And then later I can wrap myself up in the shawl of the part that is distressed, as a way to give them some comfort, to try to communicate some care.
Now I have shawls for a number of parts, and I can use them as you describe in your video: ask which shawl we are drawn to today, and take that one with us for the day. Especially when we have to go out of the house.
That sounds wonderful, exactly how I like seeing it done! Good for you.
This is such a lovely idea!
That's a really lovely idea! My ears really pricked up when Mike spoke about choosing socks.... I love knitting socks and have a huge selection. Some I have knitted in colours I wouldn't want to wear (too bold/bright) but I felt drawn to the yarn. I will try asking inside to see if I get a response to which pair of socks to wear and try to wear them with pleasure at the Communication we achieve rather than being embarrassed by the choice. I hate it when I become present in clothes I would never ever wear!!
@@lucyappleton3253 Yes! I hope that it is going to work for you as well! I also hate wearing clothes that don't feel 'mine'. But for me, I find, it helps if I made them myself. Even if a shawl or sweater is not my favorite color or aesthetic, if I knitted it myself I can really feel it as 'mine'.
Aww, that is so kind and sweet and mindful! And really a good idea.
I have DID and in ED therapy and been put on a meal plan . Some of my younger parts wants the things they had before like “gingerbread man biscuits and hot chocolate and are protesting that they want these lol …. It’s really had because they are now sneaking them during the night if I have them in house or buying them and eating them. Other parts that are more into the ED behaviours are not happy so you can imagine the conflict and arguments in my head. It’s compromise . The thing is the Ed Clinc don’t really deal with DID so they don’t get it. The strong influence also of foods that parts won’t eat too. The conflict and influences of parts with food in Ed recovery is so “ loud”. I want to come up with a meal plan down the line that fits all my parts but the Ed Clinc and dietitian don’t want to hear about DID as it is out of their expertise.
Sorry to read that. Hope you all find a way to sort it all out. Take care. 💚
Thank you so much for this. For us most of the time the switching has always been obvious to everyone as they have said to us or even called out an Alters name etc, but sometimes the subtle switching is what causes more problems for us as a system. Meaning our inner world, can be harder to notice and easier to lose co-consciousness when it is subtle. What I learned from this video is about being gentle. How gentleness is the best way to be/talk with my system. That subtle influence in the supermarket or any shopping for that matter has been a forever problem. I really like the idea of gently asking all my girls what is it that they want or need. I can clearly see how this would also open up more co-consciousness. Also will process how the subtle influences affect other areas of our lives and can start to see where it has caused issues. This has bought my EP's to the front, so can feel emotions lingering. Thank you.
So true with the gentleness!
Thank you for this video. Can you make a video on people with DID who are afraid to go out (supermarket, busy street) by themselves because of what might happen when they get triggered? Combination Complex-trauma and DID.
Wow! Thank you so much for this! This is such a revelation for me. My husband noticed this long before I was diagnosed. I would go to the grocery store and come home with only sweets. People have always said I have the palette of a 10 yr old. You and/or this info makes feel
normal under the circumstances. Thank you!
MY DID affected my whole life. And now Im just finding out.. Im 65 and I messed up my whole life. I can't work. I feel tormented.
I cannot call out specific alters, they come out with triggers....I have so many times went shopping and as I am putting things away, I will find toys, or chips or stuff I did not buy! It can be very confusing. I have 3 alters that listen and hear everything and I have 2 alters that see everything...it is so weird how DID works....And the clothing, I sparrow, only wear black clothes, but sometimes I realize that I am wearing colored clothes and I usually can tell who wanted to wear those particular clothes...As I am learning about my "squatters" and their desires, we are living in more harmony. Also, my disassociation is different for each alter, some disassociation is very fast, some will take more time disassociation before the alter fronts. I sometimes feel like a Marvel show!
Not surprised, shows you how much effort you have to put into even the simplest things…
Thanks so much Dr Mike for another incredibly helpful video. I have a lot of socks & so does my partner!
For us getting dressed is the most overwhelming and stressful feeling. Since childhood, I(host) would always change throughout the day so many times it was crazy. Now as adult, I (host) still do this and often waking up in the morning and getting dressed takes so much time and energy. I’ve pretty much stopped deciding what to wear. I just let someone inside choose. We don’t really have verbal communication, it’s more so feelings, thoughts, body reactions, and so on. Some of us very drawn to things that I(host) have no interest in, some of us have terrible gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia, so it can take awhile to find something comfortable.
Hi Dr.Lloyd,I have been in therapy for 40 years.I have DID.I live in Australia and have found your videos fairly recently.Thank you
for your videos,I have waited so long for psychiatry to help people like myself.
I recently went before CICA and they believed me and I am going to receiving compensation.I felt so good after hearing the judge say we believe you,we are sorry this happened to you,we hope the rest of your life will be better.I felt those words heal a huge hole in my heart(my brothers and sisters and mother do not believe me or support me.Also they have influenced my children who don't want me in their lives.My daughter told me she does not believe I was abused)After the tribunal case ,for 3 days I felt so happy,I felt I could look the world in the face.
2 weeks later I am dreaming dreams of rage.I am killing people in my dreams,and enjoying this.When I wake I am horrified at what I have done in my dreams.
I had hoped that after the tribunal case I would be over the moon for a long time.Over the weekend I have started to sink into depression(it's Monday today)I don't want to go out and meet people,or engage in my usual activities.
Could you talk about anger,how to deal with it effectively,how to safely express anger,how long will this anger last etc.
I'm feeling a bit confused why this anger has come.I thought I would be over the moon.Thank you.
7:11 through 8:27 brought me to tears. i thought id never find answers for this, thank you so much for making these videos
Going to the store is horrible for us. We have health issues so need to stick to our list. It is sooo hard to stay on task, and we often don't know that one of us is stressed and is trying to cope with food. Sometimes offering a choice helps, but often we end up with more than the choice anyway. Working on it, but it's a weekly challenge.
Good for you, hope it works out ok. Keep it up!
TW, maybe, but do not fear it but...?
This would be trture, if consciously fractaled from each other, at least incrementally maybe, also since we are vegan and for the animals and want the whole world to be vegan and hate eating, but would only settle for vegan fruit, and peeling and liquidating it, as a minimum, ideally and let alone if being practically force fed by our mother? We also want to live without intake and have some research in breatharianism as to how to do that and as our collective also live with barely much, if any, anyway without visable weightloss, past 7 stone, at lowest and when not stressed? We want to transition to this and/or again, and gradually, with veganism always being our safety net and they say less is more, if any that is?
This explains SO MUCH. I have put our family in financial distress and I couldn’t understand why it keeps happening… thank you.
You are welcome, I hope this gets sorted out for you soon.
It seems every time I watch one of your videos I want to scream Oh yes! Thank goodness! I haven’t watched your videos in any order but every time I’m shocked and relieved then motivated to try. I don’t go out to supermarkets often but the online shopping is a nightmare! Thank you Dr Mike please keep making these short easy to watch and understand. The reaction and comments are so reassuring too. 🌻
Glad you like them!
Thank you very much for sharing! I come back each Sunday watching for new videos, and if there isn’t one, I rewatch the old ones because they make me feel less crazy. 😂
Topics I’d love to see are more examples about the difference in the level of amnesia between DID and OSDD and also working with dissociation that comes as a sort of trance.
Thank you again for your content! It’s very helpful!
You are most welcome, I'll keep trying to put new ones up as I can. Take care!
* unique qualities of dissociation * 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
👏Thank you 🙌for all this effort and time you out into this platform it means a lot 🙏
I appreciate that!
Thank you for another video that is both reassuring and helpful in a practical way. It is so appreciated! It is so easy to start comparing to others online because I don't know anyone else in my daily life that is struggling with this. So, it is easy to get fixated on online stuff or stuff in the media and feel bad because you can't always relate in the same way.
Also, the sock example made me laugh, because we love fun socks and little things like choosing what socks to wear or what t-shirt to wear can be hard to decide on when you are getting drawn strongly to 3-4 different types at once! I thought it was my OCD and struggling to make a decision, because it had to be the 'right' item selected, but seeing there is likely more to this since all the parts stuff is now known. Your suggestions are really helpful, thank you 🙂
Socks are the best, aren’t they?
@@thectadclinic My socks today say "Go away, I'm introverting." 😄
The supermarket struggle is real, oh my goodness. Got a child part who is influencing a lot at the moment, and we use the breakfast trick to help her feel like she’s has a say. Coco pops are the current favourite, but some days it has to be jam related!
I have not long come out of psychosis.
When I was having psychosis I believed I had DID...Like different people are living I my head.
I have a male that takes over and is very destructive and will try to destroy anything I love. I keep having a strange feeling that life is happening around me.. Its not the same as déjà vu. I wish I had never even heard of DID because I feel it's been implanted in my mind now.
I have a diagnosis of schizoafective.
Thank you for another fascinating video...
That sock thing..... picking what another possible alter wants because you are drawn to it even though you wouldn't otherwise pick it? I started crying at that and had a small feeling of "I can be seen" "I can be heard".... and I didn't quite understand why I had started tearing up. But it was like something "clicked" for me....I don't know maybe I'm just convincing myself I have it...I'm very conflicted on that though because when I tried to do that sock thing but with colored pens asking what color they like.... and I felt drawn to a light green (I hate green) I thought it was in my head so I asked a few questions and I think they can respond with sensations and emotions? If I have it, I mean..... because they did respond with such things and when I yet again thought it was in my head and asked for more confirmation, I said out loud "I just want to know if I'm crazy" and instantly I felt "on my own" or like they immediately tried to detach a bit. I don't know though maybe I'm just too in my own head....sometimes being called crazy can be very triggering to me (possible an alters trigger bleeding into my own) and other times I feel detached from that being a trigger like it isn't my own.
🐉Thank you for this validation.
Went through this sort of thing for decades thinking it was something everyone experienced to have desires that didn't make sense.
Since becoming aware of everyone and getting diagnosed the understanding of being an us has made those desires and influences make much more sense.
Being attentive to them and working with them when able and safe has brought about a lot of improvement as well.
Communication even just sensing their influence had been almost non existent until recently.
Of late though there is a much clearer sense of their desires and even some degree of communication.
Mind you that communication takes the form of mental visualizations which may be easier due to our hyperphantasia, using that to help communicate.
Can you please make a video regarding dissociative Amnesia with fugue. Would like to hear another professionals take.
Maybe tips how to keep yourself safe etc
Very helpful Dr. Mike. You clarified some of today's events where I didn't fully dissociate but more felt "tugged/pulled" to do things that made me late...
With me it happens a lot, mostly on food and candy, but comes kinda natural. And is often somewhat supervised by two other me's, they are nice but sometimes a little bossy. It really feels ok most of the time, without fear or anxiety. I know it's sometimes out of the ordinary, but if people ask me about it i can always explain surprisingly well. And there are often nice little surprises coming home from the supermarket. So it's not always a bad thing. And also easy to hide. So hardly a problem. But really nice to know it's common though. thanx
Dr Lloyd,
I want to Thank you so much for your video's and responses.
I'm exhausted but I am out of the fight/flight for now. Heavy weights have been lifted with truth being shown I'm not sure how long I was in that "bad place" this time but maybe close to 2 months. Alot is a fog but I have peace today. God's peace not fake peace.
One thing I've never been able to sort out is why my snippet of memories are of me looking at myself with very few pov memories. I dissociate every time I try to think beyond the snapshot of what I was doing at that moment or what happened. I'm completely blocked and not sure if I should go through therapy because I feel like I also don't want to know. I'm glad you brought up how the media portrays did or osdd, because I've always looked at it along with UA-cam influencers and said to myself...nah I'm fine. It's not like that for me. But I know something is there and yet I don't want them to be there. It always seems to be two extremes -- this cookie cutter portrayal of high-functioning type (social media) or violent type as portrayed in movies/media. It's never really very authentic to anyone's personal symptoms and that can end up being a problem for diagnosing this disorder.
But in regards to influence-- I can say there's definitely two. One that gives me a nudge to drink beer, which I don't like alcohol at all. And a weird loop that invades my thoughts where I'm suddenly having a fantasy where I'm sick and dying and letting go of this world to fall asleep at night. It tends to make me cry, and beg to live. It's really really odd. Leaves me afraid that it will have enough influence to actually go to sleep and not wake up. Where it came idk but I have this memory of being in the hospital but standing next to my bed watching people hold me down. I'm pretty certain the young boy in my head helped calm us down when we were really sick in the hospital when I was 5 years old, because our mom said she needed go home and to get rest, too.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the video we are sharing with everyone who tries to understand our diagnosis. You explain it so clearly. Many of us have learned to communicate verbally, but some of us do not. We are so appreciative. We feel validated, seen, and understood.
This....explains so much. Thank you.
This was so validating! Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this information
This was very helpful. Thank you.
Great info with great real life, every day examples - thank you!
Thank you, kind sir. the ideas about eating is great.
Thank you so much for continuing to post these videos. They are very helpful and really good reminders of things I might have forgotten about. 😊
You were right! This was helpful. Thanks!
Excellent!
I've heard the phrase "positive trigger" to describe an increase in influence from internally that is pleasant or neutral. What do you think about that language / phrase?
This video resonates with me so much, thank you!
You are welcome!
Thank you so much!
You are welcome!
The littles in our system especially make their needs or wants known through influence.
Glad to hear it!
I can totally relate to this sooo much. Kinda explains my life …. 💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👊
Please please 🙏 make more videos. You r all I have..
Thank you so much !! We learned so much about our system by doing this in a completely intuitive way. It's really comforting to hear your perspective on the subject ^-^
Thank you!
I personally go through periods of non-verbal and extremely verbal communication with my alters. I feel like it depends on my stimulation needs and how much I don't want to connect with my body or surroundings
thank you for this! this really helped explain some of the stuff going on within my system and it gave me an idea of what to do. hope youre having a good day, and thank you again!
All good thanks, take care!
So useful, all true to me.
Glad it was helpful!
Every time I listen to your helpful videos we do find them useful but we also get soooooo sad and frustrated that we don’t have an overarching ‘campaign’ spearheaded by say ESTD or ISSTD for those with DID/OSDD to have access to therapy. I am doing all the awareness building and lobbying I can as no doubt you are but we need a collective voice.
On a lighter note, I will practice your tips thanks Dr Mike
Thanks, Amanda. Please be assured we are doing a lot of this, within NHS, independent settings and ESTD-UK, as well as working alongside the Association for Clinical Psychologists.
@@thectadclinic thanks Mike, I wonder tho’ how we can all share that? Maybe time for that conference you once spoke of? I was appalled this week in discussion with a Psychiatrist that the reason they have for not following up on my plea to have the local crisis team trained up, was that because there is no NICE guidelines they have no framework to train to and they said there is a lack of evidence for DID etc (this is despite me previously supplying your paper and others). I really do think it’s time for a survivor and clinician event
We have been looking for help too. We’ve been feeling that there’s no helping us, that there’s no point in trying to find someone because no one who knows about DID and we can afford exists.
@@butterbee_bb You are so right; I found someone that is definitely an expert, and they are expensive. Insurance in the US often doesn't pay an expert provider enough to make it worth doing this extremely skilled work. You may be able to enroll in a university program and get treatment monitored and guided by highly skilled providers. Best wishes that you find what you need.
I wanted to stop and tell you just how helpful your videos have been to my system!! We've heard validating words, followed some of your suggestions and become more willing to get to know each other internally! We appreciate all your videos!
One of my biggest issues is the adults not fully allowing the kids to come out,in my own safe home, even after the adults promised! Any suggestions?
Again thank you so much for your work and informative videos!
In regards to influence it definitely happens, and once I learned we all need to share this body/and consciousness-space, we've started allowing more freedom of choice. For example "ok the kids can have 1 or 2 sweet treats, but not too much! Most of us are happier with this step!!
Thank you, too!
This exactly describes what happens when I shop, travel, etc. Thanks!!
You are welcome!
You are more helpfull, at times, then the people who told me i have that diagnoses while the system went to so much sh*t already and being retraumatized en more and so .i think. To deal with this alone. Then they advized to have some 'educational .. (lost the word..) appointments: "just to learn what 'i' have.." without listening to my questions wether it will be good? Now they all left me in this Well anyhoe... thank you Dr Mike, for sharing your knowledge with so much caring. Sorry for my bad english! Having a bad translating day
Your English is fine, thank you!
@@thectadclinic thank you, thats very kind of you
Your videos have been so helpful for us- thank you Dr. Mike! ☺️💜
You are welcome!
Great video! Lots of very helpful practical examples. Do you have a video or might plan on making a video about reoccurring and persistent denial? I've done the "i have did/osdd" then "no im just a really strange individual" dance a million times, much to the chagrin of my alters. If there would be a surefire way to cut back on that it would be immensely helpful.
That does sound like a good idea, I’ll have a think on it. Thank you!
@@thectadclinic Thank you too for providing such a valuable resource!
Very informative video. It's nice having a real doctor explaining things
Thank you!
Oh my goodness! Like the day I got ready for work and wore my work clothes and computer bag with office keys around my neck and I ended up at a Home Goods Store! I was disgusted that I was there and so confused because I had so much to do that day at work. I bought two purses and ugly socks with mushrooms on them! I recall briefly a part super excited about these socks! I’ve never worn them.
Without getting too clinical, I do wonder what might happen if you chose one day to try them on?
@@thectadclinic ummm it’s very early Sunday morning here right now but I’m committed to trying them on today! Lol! Side note: I made my sock comment while listening mid-segment not knowing you were gonna be talking about socks! Lol I’m cracking up! Lol I also keep a pair of socks in a file cabinet in my therapists office to wear when I get to sessions… guess I’ll be taking in my mushroom socks! Lol! Shoot, maybe I’ll take a selection to help parts decide who’s talking that day perhaps? That’s awesome. lol
this is why i am a bit afraid to go shoping now. at least i have much worse other things like arthorits so im quite homebound. honestly life is falling apart and due to mom losing the therapist papers, not sure if they are even worth continuing due to that therapist may not be able to handle disociative disorders. either way i'm screwed, and i have accepted it.
. . . thanks for the video anyways. they always lift my spirits, no matter how small.
Ah, thank you so much! I hope things improve for you.
@@thectadclinic i hope so too T^T
When I was on the edge of an oatmeal period till our payment date, I was at a shop, knowing I'm gonna take our last potatoe chips for the next 10 days or so. I was thinking of the ketchup flavored one but my eyes were turning back to the barbeque flavored one, at least two times. So I knew my littles, at least mot of them, wanted this chips to be their last treat until the oatmeal only period and they're not gonna cause any trouble if I get it for them. So I did and there was no trouble at all. Other times before that I thought I was just stone or it was my BPD spending but now I know when someone wants something and it's easier to say "no" if it's a bad idea. Easier yet not always possibile... 🤣 I still struggle financially because someone wants something, particularly the littles wanting toys or something like that but at least I know what's going on and I'm not thinking of myself as an over 30 yo man who makes stupid dissicions that dousn't make any sence.
P.S.
I'm from Bulgaria so please, excuse my English... ✌️😅
This sounds like a really cool way to connect. We’ve been struggling with that the most. We don’t know how to communicate with each other, and any attempts we’ve had of writing things down, leaving notes, etc have failed. How can I make sure my system mates will know about this video? How can I express that I think this is something we can try to do? Right now it feels pointless to start some of these things because I know it will be gone in a day or two. We’re a fairly large system and we seem to switch a lot… Anyway sorry. Short question is: how can I communicate this to my system mates so that we remember it?
I feel you on switching a lot and memory difficulties. Communication is fairly solid for me these days but I do notice that if I'm having a hard time connecting with someone, memory issues are more likely to crop up, almost like they're blowing me off or trying to 'keep me out of their head.' If everything else is failing I can't recommend enough building up that relationship as a solid foundation first. It works that way with flesh and blood people, too, right?
@@sad_doggo2504 right, but how do we do that? We’ve only recently become aware of being a system so all of this is fairly new to us
I was feeling similarly and it was watching another one of his videos where he mentioned, your system knows when you really believe something, that changed how I thought about this whole process. Like I was saying on the surface what I wanted but deep down I didn't really believe it and they knew. So maybe try to fully feel and believe and understand what you want them to know yourself and maybe someone else will get the message? And if that doesn't work it's okay! You'll be able to try something else and maybe that will work!
I love your videos! Do you think you could talk more about how to deal with influence/other effects of persecutor parts?
Great suggestion!
Thank you for this video! Can you also talk about shame and uncomfortable feelings when listening to other parts. For example, you listen to the part that wants to wear these funny socks or a purple pants and you have to go to a social event or something. How do you cope with that? Sometimes it also happens that another part already chose the clothes and you see that later, and you feel so uncomfortable with what you are wearing... I feel a lot of shame around this and I know its kinda sad that I feel ashamed for the other parts, but I am scared for people who are judging or make fun of us... Definitely because we are all so different... Can you talk about this? Maybe in another video or just a reaction? :)
Good video as always dr, thanks! Ill be showing this one to the systems partner, hopefully it helps explain some things ive had trouble putting into words for them.
For systems who also have BPD or other such related disorders that can cause 'manic behaviour' (most notably here in the form of compulsive/excessive spending), what advice would you give for going about identifying what could be alter influence and what is mania. If they are tied to each other, i.e. the part that experiences the most bpd/manic symptoms feels the urge to buy lots of stuff but theyre not even buying things they want theyre just spending money compulsively, and perhaps a little alter is taking advantage of this mood (either knowingly or not) and is buying themselves lots of toys for example. How would you go about trying to separate these feelings of the little alters influence of buying all the toys from the bpd behaviour to spend unnecessary money just because they can?
How do you tell when the urge for something comforting (toys, junk food etc,) is coming from an alters influence of needing to be comforted vs when theyre just being a little bit selfish and in wanting vs those manic urges that can be self destructive in a financial or health sense?
Sorry for the long comment, this video feels close to home and ive never found a good answer for how to separate these feelings, it can make it hard to know which influences/thoughts to listen to and which ones should be ignored as a poor coping mechanism/symptom of bpd and manic episodes.
Hej there, feel you. Would probably be a good thing to discuss with a therapist. Anyways, all the best and good luck! 🍀
I like this idea of influence but not everyone has access to therapy for a variety of reasons. I understand your cautions but some have to go it alone.
Great video! Morgan, one of our littles, really likes the suggestion about the socks and plans to give her input tomorrow.
We have a follow up question. How often should we be stopping and making these system evaluations?
-Empty, Null, and Anna of the 🌻 System
It;s completely up to you, whenever you feel you can? This isn't always possible, but I think you shouldn't feel you have to each and every time, offer explanation where not possible.
Could you do a video on finding and vetting a good therapist specialized in this area? It seems like available experts are really hard to find
That’s a really good idea. I have some thoughts on this.
i was getting ready for a parade in hs a few months from being 18 and i disapeared and came back, it was night and it felt like i just sat up in bed from a nighbmare. i was in line with the section i was in, but i felt so confused. i also had 2 times yearsss later where i was snapping out of my eyes and out of my body and saw only black and heard my voice, but it was muffled and sped up. OO
I've recently learned I might maybe probably be part of a p(artial)-DID system and this is what I've been trying to do a lot like with the supermarket thing and TV shows especially because I'm basically frontstuck/frontlocked and only have parts co-conscious or co-fronting with me but no or very rarely full switches or blackout amnesia it's just lots and lots of grayout? amnesia as in emotional mostly and I can usually partly generally remember things that happened yesterday or within the week and before that but only just so much that when someone asks me what I've done over the weekend I'll be able to say "I've been at home" or what I've done during the week "I've been going to uni" but there's not much more maybe a few more details but other than that lots is very fuzzy and blurred foggy but yeah
And there's also very little communication at all least of all thought words, most of it is really emotional like sometimes feeling feeling that aren't my own and like this l feeling of being drawn towards or pulled away from things whether it's objects or activities or other stuff it's really complicated I still have lots of loops of denial and thoughts like "this isn't real I'm the only one here I'm kudt making it all up" even though I'm very much pretty sure I'm not so the main thing I try to focus on is not /who/ is there in the moment but what do they want what do they feel and how can I best communicate that I'm listening and accommodate them it's all very confusing and difficult definitely but I want to figure it out together with the others
I have DID. I’ll see certain things and become convinced that they were placed there just for me, spiritually, by some sort of force, and that force makes me feel like I should buy it because it was meant to be there and activate something in me so it’s important. It's VERY hard to resist this impulse. I've never connected this to DID. Is this the sort of thing you're talking about? Because that's interesting I'd never contextualized that experience that way.
Dr Mike I have a question about fusion. I am 60 yrs old, I was finally diagnosed at 55. Is that too late for fusing my alters? At 60, should I even try? I feel they have been so cemented into my brain that I am just to old now to even try and make them go away. Can you tell me your thoughts on this?
Wow!!
Wow, I am/we are currently exploring our multiplicity and I can't imagine that I have any kind of debilitating dissociation. I dissociate often but it's only for less than a minute or two and I can get back to what I'm doing after it passes, so I didn't think I could qualifie for any dissociative disorder.
The exemple about the super market, about fighting with being drawn to random is.. is just constant, you just described my life irl ^^' but even tho I know we are multiple and communicate a little and no one's ever express anything about that I could never think that it was a consequence still.. is it possible that it's still not dissociation, like juste being scattered or irresponsible or I don't know..
hello, i took the DES scale test online because i saw you talk about it in a podcast but my score wasnt that high. i was diagnosed with dp/dr as a teenager and had it since i was a child. i realized my dissociation however is much deeper than that and i think i have another part and found that out only a few years ago ( im in my late 20s). and maybe even a third one. however its a bit different than i often read. its like my current "me" is an alter. can i still have osdd even if my score in this online test was lower?i had many years of therapy and i feel like i will never get better, no one can help me and no one believes me because my symptoms/dissociation doesnt fit with the typical presentation
The DES-II is only for screening, it's looking into the answers for patterns as much as just the scores.
Question: I know this doesn’t apply to the topic of influence. We had a traumatic split recently. Can it be implied that the memory that happened prior to the split is what the new alter is holding or is that something that should not be assumed and be found out in therapy? I’ve found what one of our alters holds inadvertently one day. (Not a good experience but helpful nonetheless.) What is your take on this? Thank you for all you do Dr. Lloyd!!!
Can't answer your question specifically, but I am glad you are thinking on it, and hope you get some clarity!
Does the supermarket struggle you've described happen for people who are not systems as well?
Hi Erin, of course, not everyone with OSDD or DID considers themselves to be a ‘system’. It may be popular having this narrative on social media, but I don’t hear it much in clinic.
Hi Dr. Lloyd, can you help me understand how most people with DID hear voices while also for most the communication is sensory, like through felt urges? This has confused me for a few years so I'd love a response if you have time!
Both can happen, at different times. It’s a good question, we prefer to look at everyone individually and work out the likely patterns depending on what situations are being experienced.
Do you know of how I can find someone who specializes in DID/OSDD in the US? It feels so difficult to find.
I’m curious what thoughts you might have on the IFS model?
I have some, and it's that it's not in any way similar to systems. It's just naming basic functions.
🙏
Shopping is a nightmare
1:21 and sometimes it can wash between the two, I've sh&# loads of diff parts, some are just slivers, not enough aspects to them to even warrant the title of personality! So.....there's that!
Nooo not options! We want different things and then get stuck and then don't eat anything 😅. We need to have a simple plan worked out in advance and then stick to it rigidly (well that's an exaggeration but for things like breakfast it's not far off the reality)