MY BIGGEST STRUGGLE | MOM OF 4 | ANNA SACCONE
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- Sharing my biggest struggle as a mom...please be kind!
Today I went to watch Dre (5) at his swimming lesson which I didn't even realise was allowed at their new school - it was so adorable and cute! He absolutely loves swimming so it was so much fun observing him doing something he adores! I came home from the school run and tidied up the dog garden (again), fed the birds and then addressed something that was kind of scary for me to talk about on a public platform. However I think it's important to share because I'm sure I am not alone! I talk about overstimulation as a mom...how it affects adults (something I did not know until recently) and sensory overload which is something I struggle with almost daily. I really hope that I don't get attacked for being so vulnerable with you guys, we all get stressed and deal with things differently. Please remember that! I try not to judge anyone, but learning about overstimulation really helped me as a mother because now at least I can identify my triggers and understand better why it happens! I went to my nail appointment, saw the lovely Donna, emerged with beautiful coral nails and feeling a little lighter after a good chat with her! Then it was back home to work on editing before picking the kids up from school! We had a bit of a lice scare with Lessi (7) but she's been checked and we can't find anything! I cooked some dinner, did laundry and then it was finally bedtime! See you on Thursday! ❤️
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My mum was a shouter, and as a Mum myself I can see why now. I have a greater understanding why she was stressed. Things I do: if I can't hand things over to my husband or my in laws for a bit, I'll remove myself from the room for a minute or two (as long as everyone is safe), I will also have a change of scene (usually dragging everyone outside), a really elderly friend of my family used to say "if it's getting too much with the children, just add water" this is particularly helpful with little children, so I'd put them in the bath, get water play out, puddle splashing, paddling pool, hose pipe etc and it works like a charm as I get some space. But ultimately what's helped me most is to share how I'm feeling with people, my husband, mum, friends, and they all said they had experienced the same thing.
Thank you so much! 🥰🩷 “Just add water” lol 😂 That made me laugh!!
@@hollyheaton5305 amazing advice. Love it x
When I have 20 things to do and then my dog starts barking that sends me over the edge also.
overwhelming and overstimulation is a real thing !! as a mom of 4 kids also having to be in ten places at once and doing ten jobs at once can overwhelm all of us venting is a way of healing my kids and hubby got used to me venting its like we fill up with all this pressure and yelling out is a way of decompressing its normal you got this !!
Love you Anna and thank you for being vulnerable! It helps us to be ourselves as well! ❤ You are great keep being you we live you!
thank you so much for being vulnerable enough to share this. its so normal for mums.
i have undiagnosed adhd (in the process of diagnosis) and i become overstimulated so much faster than the average mum and it just builds up and i explode too. all mums feel a level of it im sure. overstimulation has become my autopilot as of yet so its very hard.
my councellor gave me good advice before with my anxiety and overwhelm and overstimulations. call it out fir what it is as its happening. say it out loud to yourself. i am anxious. i am overstimulated and im going to be ok. speak poaitively to yourself and its ok to feel the emotions too but the calling it out part takes the power out of it. i found tgis especially helpful with my anxiety. she also told me that you can name that part of yourself. call your overstimulated persona its own name. eg. say you pick the name cindy. and you call out cindy when you start to feel that overwhelm starting.."cindy is here again". takes the power out of cindy and the conteol that overstimulation and overwhelm has over you x ❤i feel your pain. i have 3 kids and im pretty sure out whole household is neurodivergent so there are alot of emotions here. x
thank you for being honest though. its important fir other mams to see you as more than just a youtuber with money. you are also in the same boat as all of us navigating motherhood as best you can while also simultaneously learning how to actually be a mother..if that makes sense xx
Thank you so much 🥹🩷🩷 That is really helpful advice!!
Anna, over stimulation is such a thing! I have suffered my whole life and have to take myself off upstairs when I get it. I can now recognise it & say it out loud so those around me know I need a breather! Xx
I never realised that’s what it was before!! 😳 It’s been so eye-opening 🩷
@@AnnaSaccone it’s defo a thing, and it’s a massive trigger to my mental health so I hear you. I would love to have dogs but I know it would send me over the edge 😅
I totally understand re feeling overwhelmed, I do 99% of the kids routines in the morning and school runs, and its tiring and exhausting trying to fit everything and everyone in. I have 4 kids and 3 cats and its juggling act for sure!
Loved this video and love your new Workout gear ❤
Yes it’s the mental load as well…I think the unseen stuff of what’s going on in your head & the countless to do lists…then if something goes wrong or gets forgotten it’s your fault 😭🤦🏼♀️ I find that so exhausting! ❤
@@AnnaSaccone❤
You have just explained me to a T, control freak, half Italian, and all. The dog’s barking is always my trigger, and my partner is always the person that gets my wrath and I too hate it about myself. I think it’s a learned behavior, my dad was the same way and my personality is very similar to his, and I never learned a healthy way to deal with the buildup of emotions/overstimulation. I think acknowledging the behavior and being aware of when I start to feel that way has helped.
Thank you Lindsay!! I feel sorry for Jonathan he puts up with a lot 😂 And inevitably some of the kids will take after me as well 😬 Poor guy lol 😂
Hi Anna I'm from sri Lanka and I have 3 small kids myself and I totally relate to you that's why I love so much to watch your videos. (It's the highlight if my day) and love you as a person. Because you're so open and honest. Thank you for sharing it made me feel less alone ❤ you helped many moms out there who feel this way. If u can make your videos longer. 🙏 Pls don't think you're boring you're are NOT ❤😊
Aww thank you so much Tina 🥹🩷🩷🩷 that means a lot to me!!
@AnnaSaccone can't believe you replied. I'm so happy 😊 much love ❤️
love your vlogs🌷
I experienced this over stimulation the other day, it’s so horrible. Kids crying and arguing, washing machine turning, air fryer going, every light on in the house. It just gets too much! I’m so pleased I watched this video after that happening because I felt mad! The next day there was a strict volume down calm day. We need a bloody break lol c
Therapy is wonderful! ❤❤❤
hey Anna keep it up! you are doing amazing with four kids its a lot of work. What helps me is when I get like that I walk away and take 4 big deep breathes and count to 5 for each and you should feel better
Ahhh the overstimulation is so relatable😆 I’m an exploder too, it’s so mentally tiring! When I’m then finally alone in quiet I just crash🤣
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@@AnnaSaccone and that’s just with 1 child and a cat. You’re a superwoman🤣
Oh mum overstimulation is real. Very real. I only have 2 kids and a cat, I get lots of breaks because I (very successfully) coparent with my ex, I get more help than most mums these days. But I still manage to become overstimulated. I have very high expectations of myself as a mum and try to do too much and be overly prepared for everything and I even find clutter overstimulating so you can imagine how well that goes with a 1 & 3 year old. I have so much respect for mums of more than 2. I have absolutely no idea how you do it! You’re a superstar Anna.
Clutter can send me over the edge 🤣🤣🤣 I totally get it!! ❤❤❤
Hay Anna thank you for sharing this it makes me feel like I’m not alone in this.. you once recommended Tracy hensel on your channel who I follow now and her parenting tips are amazing she helped me a lot x 💞
She is amazing but I feel like she’s a lot more organised than me & her parenting style is I guess more strict than mine 🙈😅 Lol I am more relaxed/go with the flow but I definitely admire her! 🩷
It’s the scorpio in us 😂❤
Noises can really over stimulate me too. Similarly to you I can handle it until I suddenly can't handle it and then I snap and the family or dogs. I have two kids, three big rescue dogs and four guinea-pigs to look after and it's a lot. I was thinking about trying the loop ear plugs as I know others who have really liked them. You're not alone with this at all. My last melt down was when we hit traffic my husband was driving amd asking me to find a new route. I was trying to read google maps, the kids were being police sirens in the back and my husband was getting annoyed with me because I asked the kids to be quiet so I could concentrate but also wasnt able to tell him which way to go. We were also needing to catch ferry and the traffic meant we might miss it. If things had just been quiet and calm I would have been fine but under that noise stress and high emotions it was just horrible and I told them all off and my husband got the cold shoulder for an hour or so. Sometimes as mums we try to take the hits, but when we get into something stressful we need to voice it so we get what we need in order to actually carry on xx❤xx
Gahhhh that sounds sooooo stressful!!! 😭😭 I’m so sorry! ❤❤❤
I totally agree with the over stimulation! I am a yeller/cryer 😂 I have my moment then im good for a wee while lol. I have explained to my children why it happens so thankfully they allow me to have my moment 😅
Sharing how you feel is so valid and also very helpful Anna 🤍 overstimulation is so real and don’t ever feel like you can’t “complain” to us because we are always here to listen! Taking care of children and animals whilst also trying to look after yourself is a lot for our brains to handle and sometimes it just takes one tiny thing for it to become too much, and that’s okay. Noticing the trigger is a huge step in itself which is amazing!!!! you will get there and try not to hate yourself for it because it’s more normal than you think. Sending you so much love🤍🤍
🥹🩷 thank you Em!! xxx
Anna you're not alone! I have no pets and have only one child and a husband but Im always overwhelmed and I hate myself like that 😢
Writing from my sons account 😂Been there, go there at times, but not by choice of course 😂.
For me- those are triggers that drive a person into the mom rage. Dog barking is one for me too and one specific sound my son makes when he’s bouncing off the walls. It CAN be an adhd trait (struggling with emotional regulation) and or hormonal, stress, etc. - next time maybe go into a scenario next time expecting it to possibly happen and practice just being ok with it. Even if you set whatever it is down, and walk outside in a peaceful place for a few mins. You’ve then created a new way to manage. The more you use helpful coping skills, the easier it will get over time. You rewire your brain every time you do it, ❤❤❤
First, thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable. I feel that recognizing that is what is going on, is a big step in finding a way to descalate the situation. I have no advice other than recognizing that is what is happening and then announcing that you need to take a 10 minute time out for yourself. I know in a busy life, that isn't always possible. You are an amazing mom and wife, be kind to yourself! 💕
I have 3 kids and 2 dogs - lot to organise etc and I use headphones a lot I get overwhelmed easily xx
Oh my god definitely can relate. I am a mom of 4 also ,but I think you don't have to be a parent to be over stimulated. I am a total introvert so I think that plays a part for me and my situation. Ps love your videos ❤
Very relatable 💕😊✌️
Why do you observe the 4th of July? 🇺🇸
My therapist says lean against a wall (to cut out the stimulus of standing and 1 side of sound). She also said cold pack on the back of your neck to calm your vegal nerve
8:21 was it called a mourning dove 🕊️? 😊
getting over stimulated is so overwhelming and there feels like there is a guilt attached when you finally boil over. I think now that you realize that you do get overstimuated you can try and just recognize what is triggering that and how you can try your best to "avoid" those triggers. it's not easy though and I thank you for sharing these more vulnerable thoughts. ❤
I can 100% relate ❤ I’ve got 2 children and only the one dog but when you’re trying to get sh!t done and then one child wants something and the other starts screaming, the tele is on and then my husband starts talking to me 🫠 feels like the only way I can be heard or let anything out it is to shout 😢
You’re not alone. Thanks for sharing your rant. As a mom and busy life’s I’ve gotten over stimulated as well. My biggest assist and remembering we can fail. Not being on time, forgetting things and putting urself first to calm.
10:40 on Monday this week I had the same thing happen to me . I was crabby at work and then just lost it when I got home . I was tired and felt like I had so much to do 😮 there was just to much going on . I have no tips either…I’m sorry wished I did .
I found out that I had a thyroid problem from telling my doctor that I am always cold and could never figure that out. I hated being cold when everyone else was feeling warm
Anna, I’ll be honest I stopped watching for a while due to my different outlooks on some choices you both have made, and I quietly stopped watching.
Recently I’ve gotten back to watching your blogs and I loveee how open and real you are!!! Im a mom of three and man, I can relate so much to you.
Thanks for being real!
And I hope you understand my past decision to stop watching, no hate whatsoever
Daily affirmations and meditations first thing in the am.
I love how Honest you are Anna ♥️♥️♥️
Over stimulation is hard. I've no kids or dogs but I still struggle with it especially since working from home. It's so overwhelming.
I don’t think you have to have kids or dogs to relate! 🩷🩷🩷 I was talking to a friend about this recently who lives in shared accommodation & is feeling anxious & overstimulated from that! ❤ It affects different people in different ways. I’m sorry that you’re going through it right now 😢
I find school mornings stressful and other half gets it in the neck as he is usually still in bed while I deal with school mornings. I have 2 kids and feel this. Thr are times we're I say I need help or I'm going to explode. Other times I have already exploded lol.
Anna where did u get ur pink cardigan with the green trim from love that on u ?
Thank you it’s from Daisy Street 🩷
😂😂😂 it’s the Italian blood in you. My mother use to lose it the same, and so do I. It’s just one of those things. 🤣🤣🤣🤣👍❤️👍
Omg just finishing the video the next day and saw the friends all have nits. I would treat her anyways just in case. You can get a bit comb to check them all. If all the kids have it and she’s that itchy I would assume it’s a yes and wash all her bedding and toys she snuggles etc. They say to use something like tea tree or something to help repel them and wear hair up to school. If they get in your house it’s a big job to get them removed. Good luck and I hope she doesn’t have them. All signs point to yes of all her friends have them and she’s that itchy. Ahh the school days joys.
I only have 1 toddler and I feel so over stimulated all the time ! 😅
hey quick question Anna where did you get Emilia's bed the white one with storage in the front!♥️🙂🇺🇸💓
IKEA! ❤
Thank you anna! for responding is it called a day dream bed twin size
U manage all the family so don’t feel bad for venting we all can have that point sometimes it’s better to vent aloud tbh than keep all in
Take heart! The same thing happens to me and most every other mom I know. As moms, we juggle so much at once and all the little details and sometimes it all gets to us. The only thing I know that helps, for me at least, is carving out a little time each day for myself so I have something to look forward to. And venting to my husband, who listens so well. Also, apologizing to kids or husband when it happens.
Cute video, thank you Anna for sharing your day... ❤️I've found that YOU are able to see humour in many situations of stress, and you point it out to those around you. That's a very useful technique for daily affairs, things around us that oppress/stress... especially, managing a household.
I love your passion for the pigeons Anna!! 🤣Sending love and big hugs from Hollywood!! xx 🥰❤💓💓
Thank you Ashley! 🥰🩷🤣
Youre not alone at all and no one should chastise you for being honest about it. Everyone has moments where it all gets too much. My trigger is my youngest "chainsawing". Hes a baby and does a particular whinge that just.... hammers my head and i end up snapping at everyone else because it gets overwhelming 😬 its hard but we just keep on trying. As long as everyone is alive at the end of the day i consider it a win 😅
Have you tried Feliway for Nivea/the dog room?? I had issues with my cats when one of them died and it helped calm and regulate them so much - our vet recommended it xx
Ooh what is that? I need to look it up! 🩷🩷🩷
@@AnnaSaccone the dog version is called Adaptil!! Me in cat mode always 😂😂
I really appreciate you sharing the overstimulation rant. I resonate with feeling guilty for yelling.
Lessie being a mini Anna ❤❤❤❤
❤❤ you do your best and it’s ok to break down. I have 8 kids and 2 birds and when they all are going at it at once is when I lose it. What if you step outside take a few by your self and then go back in. Worked for me a couple times.
Omg 8 kids 🩷 You are amazing!!! Thank you so much 🥹
Anna , you are not the only one who feels this way. I feel like this due to my ADHD. Sometimes you can’t avoid it, but my partner knows my triggers well and we work as a team. I imagine Jonathan knows too. Make sure you are giving yourself grace and having some alone Mumma time ❤ Big love from Becca (28), from Glasgow- 10 year fan here ❤️❤️
Are you still seeing someone about your eating disorder? Sad that people think you look okay , ( also I have had an ED I’m aware of the signs and body checks)
I love this adorable family
Sending love Anna
Overstimulation is something I really struggle with. My trigger is definitely when things are too loud or when my surroundings are messy. Big reason I’m a neat freak! Something I’ve learned is it’s better to take a moment to recollect rather than showing that stress. You can always pick back up whatever you were doing. Or with the schedule, it’s better to be a little late than say things you don’t really mean in the moment. Every family is different obviously, but it’s helped me to tell others my triggers and what helps in the moment so that others can help in the situations. Like asking the kids to calm down for a little while or having your husband take over while you recollect. I’d also recommend maybe getting ear plugs. I have ones from the brand loop and they’re really nice because they block out most noise but you’re still able to hear people talking to you.
It's okay Anna, I'm like that too and I think there are a lot of ppl out there like that too. Maybe sit your family down and tell them how you're feeling. Maybe they could help.. When it happens you can tell them and just leave the room and take a breath. Look at your family as a team. If you all work together and help each other then can be helped. Just a thought.. Love and your videos!! 😘
Ummm I only have 2 kids and 2 dogs and I get overstimulated! You aren't complaining at all. I don't know how you do it for real. You're amazing. My dad was the same way (Italian) and now I'm the same way. I totally get it. I feel so bad right after too. You aren't alone. I'm also a recovering perfectionist haha so I get that too. :)
Aww thank you so much Alyssa 🥹🩷
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You should put some ear buds in and play meditation music, that way it blocks out the loudness of the barking and puts you in a more mellow headspace, hands free! 😁
I have ONE kid and get overstimulated haha! You handle it well. You’re not alone and I don’t think you need therapy. We are human! You’re doing great!
That's a good idea hope she see your comments
The happiness from lessi Dre and Edie from getting out of that school!! Bless them ❤ they look so free now 💖
I always think Anna is so blooming calm , how do she do it lol. I think im always running behind schedule and that stresses me out big time. Also noise sets me off on one and hormones have a lot to do with us woman yelling . Lol But we still do a brilliant job 😂
I am definitely not calm all the time 😅🩷 Yes the noise thing gets to me too 😭
♥️⚘️♥️ Love you Anna ♥️⚘️♥️
Anna, as a teacher I totally understand the overstimulation thing. Being in a classroom of 25 six year olds for 8 hours can be so overstimulating for me, even just the amount of noise they all make at once can be a lot for me to handle! So I totally understand! Youre definitely not alone with that feeling. Sometimes on my drive home from work I need complete silence lol.
Purple looks so good on you, Anna!
Thank you so much! 🩷🩷🩷
Mine is when i’m trying to do everything in the kitchen plus the kids are constant and then I end up tripping over the pets !! lol
Omg 😭🤦🏼♀️🤣
You have a right in any situation to talk about being over stimulated ❤
I scream into a pillow because the pillow can take it. I also have immense anxiety and I don’t want to feel guilty because I said something hurtful to someone I love. It’s a lot. I’m also autistic.
i get overwhelmed by lots of differenct noises going on at once and then i get angry and explode to lol!! BUT what i have found works for me is wearing ear plugs (i use the brand loops) and OMG its been so life changing. you can still hear your surroundings but its just much more peaceful :) i highly recommend! xx
My sister had alot of problems with nits with her daughters in the end she put tea tree drops in her shampoo & it works as well as hairspray, apparently the nits can’t get on there hair. I did it with my daughter & it worked she never had any nits when there was a breakout. 😊
I live in America and i think its so cool that the kids wore our colors for Independence Day even though you dont live here! Love you guys!!! xoxo
Anna, I totally get it, it’s hard! I‘m a Mum of 4 too,mine are all grown up now but I surely remember those moments of having too much going on at once. Would it help you to put on some really funky and loud music and dance it off? It helped me. We don’t have any pets but two of my kids had meltdowns often because of handicaps(cerebral palsy and autism) , so it was not the same overwhelm but quite intense too. Perhaps it helps you to make „venting date“ with your hubby where you both can share the difficult moments. You’re a cool Mom❤❤❤
Wtf. We are broke and paying her bills.... The irony 😅
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Anna, you are human, we are all the same. X
Heyy! Ur rlly goof mum!
Hru all! Pretty nailsss pretty color too!💅🏻 ❤👏🏻💪🏻
The outfits of u all so iconic well chosen colors!
And ofc dinners and meals look lush u should do cooking channel!😂
Food looks good!😋 do u take in turns!
8:10 They are Collared Doves & are not as greedy as the pigeons. . The pigeons are flying rats, they spread deceases and leave their filthy droppings everywhere.....stop feeding them .
I love you Anna and your channel. This is not negative. But you remind me of my husband and Jonathan is like me. My husband get stressed out , yells , he is a perfectionist. And it really bothers me. He is working on it but people who yell and fuss just make everyone else stressed out.
Therapy is helpful.
I say this from a loving place with hopes you can find something that helps you.
With that said , parent overstimulation is a thing and I can totally relate. I understand why you feel like breaking down.
Also if you are always cold get your iron checked .
It’s true lol ❤ Jonathan hates shouting whereas I don’t and I need to remember that everyone reacts to stuff differently. My dad’s shouting is something I have no negative associations with but for another child that may be different & it’s taken me years to realise that!
Everyone has some kind of boiling point. That is when you have to walk away for a few minutes and take a deep breath. The kids are getting big enough to start taking care of themselves to a point and you are lucky Jonathan seems very supportive and helpful.
Wait… why are yall celebrating American Independence Day… in England…? 🤯🤣
Can you talk to your doctor about the stressing? It’s not the end of the world I’m sure there are others like you said take care Anna a mother has to multitask.I just wondered why we don’t see Jonathan anymore? Put hairspray in the children’s hair when they are going to school cause nits don’t like clean hair
I think theyre each doing their own things now social media wise and he focuses more on instagram and shorts, isnt so keen on the vlogs. Of course im not them, just a viewer, but i doubt its anything sinister
As far as the pups go, remind yourself that they are all senior dogs. This is their end of life years 😢remind yourself not to make those years stressful for them. When the last one stands alone, it’s going to be so quiet and I promise you’ll miss it ❤…most days lol
😭😭😭 I know 🤦🏼♀️ I just wish life wasn’t so busy sometimes & I could remember that. But when there are 4 kids to look after it gets pushed to the back of the pile 😢 I agree though & feel guilty about it 🩷
Xx💕💕
Omg. I thought your dog growling was mine lol. She’s tiny so I couldn’t see her but it sounded like her so I I kept telling her to stop lol. Thought she was growling at my cat. Nope. It was yours. Least I looked dumb alone.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this made me laugh so much hahahahaha 😂😂😂
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Was Edie able to get the new Olivia Rodrigo Stanley Cup?
If it makes you feel better I only have one dog, one cat and 2 babies and I yell and I don't know how to stop as well.
A Mourning Dove? They mate for life. ❤
Erm your half Irish half Italian I think there’d be something wrong with you if you DIDNT shout 🤣🤣.
I have a cat her name is Luna she is a tabby
Oh my goodness....I get so overstimulated when I'm in a noisy place with too many people. I don't really go to shows or certain restaurants anymore. When I get to the point I start to feel the Melinda Monster come out, it's when people are trying to talk to me all at the same time. I know that sounds like nothing...but trust me, it's a thing. lol I started typing an example but had to stop and delete because I was getting triggered...hahahaha. So I'll just say, something that works for me is walking away. Just walk away. I'd rather get behind on my tasks than lash out at someone and say something I don't mean or be hurtful in any way. My mom is like that (not so much anymore, obviously, I"m old now...lol)....she'd yell at us kids and "get it off her chest'." Then she'd be like-okay, it's done-I feel better now." But I was like...hey, you might feel better, but I don't. You just yelled at me for no reason (okay maybe a tiny reason) and now I feel like crap. So I just try to keep in mind how I felt when it was done to me. I don't have kids so I don't know what that is like, but I do know/remember what it was like to be on the receiving end. That being said, I am not always able to get out the door before Melinda Monster comes out and heads roll. Oops! I'm a work in progress. :) Huge hugs Anna!
Yes I agree with this Melinda ❤ Jonathan hates shouting and so does one of my kids in particular. My dad’s shouting never affected me in a negative way - but Jonathan has taught me that everyone reacts to it differently. That’s why I’m trying to change but it’s so hard 😭😭😭
I don’t think it’s because you’re half italian i think it’s because you’re half german 😂😂 idk why but imagining you shouting and cursing in german is hilarious to me
I also reach breaking point when the dog starts barking especially when already overwhelmed.
But.... what is Bianca's voice during all this? Do it, please-its so funny!
I have two kids and no pets and I feel over stimulated a lot! I also explode and have to let it out, I am 1/4 Italian, it’s in our genes lol
Thats me too loud noises tip me over the edge i cant deal with it i understand the barking problem completely x
You wouldn't be a normal mom if you didn't lose it every once in a while, anyone that says they are the perfect parent is lying. Box breathing is something you might try it's pretty quick and easy, really helps when you are overwhelmed. ❤❤❤
This is very long and just off the top of my head so pardon the wordiness. No time to edit down.
Have you considered speaking with a dog behavior specialist to help with the dog issues? Maybe you can feed them in sets of two and in another room with door closed like Nivea maybe first since she’s so food protective and in her own space and then remove her and maybe the other sibs and then Sina and Albie in the kitchen while others are outside or in the dog room. Nivea maybe just needs the security of her food getting to her safely without needing to defend it from Bianca and the rest. If you can close the dog room from kitchen I would let them out and bring them into the dog room and feed in the kitchen by ones or twos. They are older now, need to have individual care and keeping and if some are functional as sharing siblings maybe feed those together. Also can you sit with Nuvies while she eats and reassure her like you have her back and she doesn’t need to be afraid. I think she’s afraid of not getting her food or being attacked and this is resulting in her panicking before anything even happens. Alternatively can you move her kennel apart some from the others for now and give her some space. I think giving her more one on one is smart but don’t pull her from her upset around the other dogs at that moment bc it will reinforce to her that you will favor her for being bad.
Better to remove her from the feeding and feed her alone first with you sitting down with her on the floor and letting her know she’s safe and can eat in peace.
I know it’s a lot of work but this seems like what needs to happen.
Albie being more vocal is likely his dementia and his own fears and all. Maybe Jonathan can take him into the other room and hold him or settle him into his bed to rest alone. Maybe Albie’s being so crazy barking now with Theo gone is making nuvies need some space to just be quiet and safe. She too is overstimulated I bet.
Do they still get out with the dog walker and if not maybe take nuvies for some extra stress relief walks alone and then feed her with other dogs away and then put her in the garden while you feed the others. Having her wait in her kennel while others eat or having her food taken away will reinforce her food insecurity I think.
Also maybe some extra treats for her and the rest that are healthy so they don’t feel like they aren’t fed enough. I used to give my shih tzu red bell pepper strips which he loved especially in summer and carrot pieces and green beans. Also for distraction in the garden maybe give them some sweet potato dried pieces to enjoy one at a time. You can slice up sweet potatoes and just dry them in the oven but also just buy them. The lower carb veggies are better to avoid weight gain and if they are active they maybe extra hungry. Also if hot in your house they maybe too warm and a fan in their room and some cooling treatment like a washcloth “facial” for each to cook them off. Just wipe eyes and face and maybe the cloth down their back to help cool them a bit. Maybe not albie bc he might get scared.
Best of luck and as they all age they will all need more one on one treatment I think.
Four kids, three schools, two senior dogs and one feeling insecure is a lot yeah and the barking while you are trying to function is hard. Ask J to take albie with him while you get the kids ready in the am. Might mean J needs to get up a little earlier and get ready and then sit with albie outside or in his office while the kid chaos happens.
If nothing else just make sure nuvies has some protection while she eats. And then place her out of the food zone and give her a treat in another blocked off room followed by each other dog same treatment.
Maybe. lol.
Hope Aunt Flo has come and made things a wee bit more tolerable. Hang in there.