Should Kids Be Homeschooled? (w/ Erica Komisar)
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- Опубліковано 1 гру 2024
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I homeschooled my five children up to college. We had a blast along the way. They're all well-rounded, highly functional adults now, and we're all very close-knit. They were never socially awkward or weird! The family as their primary social structure is a safe, nurturing place in which to learn, love, thrive, grow. Yes, it had its challenges, but far more were the rewards and blessings. There was never a day or a moment of regret or remorse, and I'd do it all over again.
When meeting my college friends mom, she said "you were homeschooled? I had no idea!" (Referring to my social skills) The idea that homeschoolers are poorly socialized compared to traditional schooling is a largely a myth
Largely a myth, yet those pro-homeschooling have allowed the arts, entertainment media, and pop culture portray them as naïve prudes for a century now. :/
Not a myth…sorry, it as a military mom who has been to co ops in several states, I have only met one child who wasn’t strange and had good social skills. That’s not to say home schooling is a bad thing, but all of the ones I have met shake like a leaf when talking to people outside their family circle and looked a little feral. My kids didn’t even want to hang out with the kids in all of the co ops we tried. Once we put them in school, they gravitated toward the well behaved Christian students and made good friends that I actually like having over.
@@theresa.m.I think there are “odd” kids in school as well. I don’t think is the homeschooling but the way they are being brought up and the ppl they associate with
Homeschooling is not isolation, it does not mean we never leave the house goodness gracious. We have a great and huge community by the way! My children are very friendly and social, well adjusted and super healthy mentally and emotionally thanks to homeschooling
Depends on the parents entirely. If you live in a toxic environment with a controlling parent, the child may not receive much community.
@ true but those parents usually don’t want to homeschool bc they believe spending time with their kids is a burden. I know a few of those
Same! My son has THRIVED since I pulled him out of the pub school system!
As a neurodivergent, I’m glad you talked about neurodivergents. Yes, I really did suffer a lot in regular school. You are right. Thank you so much for caring about us.
School should be a last resort and not the go-to. Socialisation should be taking place outside of learning hours and supervised by adults. Letting lost kids socialize other kids is obnoxious. Public schools specifically also frequently score lower on every level. Homeschooled children are better educated, suffer less from mental health issues and tend to be more successful long-term. We moved away from Germany, because homeschooling is illegal there.
Illegal?? What's the rationale there...
where did you move?
Yes! Exactly why I refuse to put my kids in school. We live in a very bad neighborhood where the other kids can be a bad influence. I hear these kids walking home from school, 6 year olds using curse words that even my husband doesn’t say! We’ll stick to homeschooling!
My kids are doing amazing in school. People should feel free to home school if they desire it, but saying school should be a last resort is misguided. I get some people don’t have a choice if they live in a bad neighborhood, but getting educated by professionals is never a bad thing.
@@vudujujuju implemented under mustache man, never undone. Because why give up state control of the children?
To the comment about experts....I believe up until 4th/5th grade the teachers are mostly experts about classroom management. Sure they might know some additional teaching techniques but to say they're history experts would be a huge stretch. They just follow the curriculum laid out in the teacher's textbook. High school and possibly middle school is where you can start to make that argument.
Our children are socially outgoing and have amazing social skills. We homeschool, and I would never bring them back to a public or private educational environment.
Why not?
@LeddingGooo why not bring them to public or private school?
The indoctrination centers don't teach children. Would you like an in-depth response? We paid for our children to go to a private school as well. Our reason for pulling them out of there was just as heinous, if not more so, than public school.
@@corythomas3925Really!? Is that bad?
Homeschooling is social. It may not be of the current culture, but it certainly is social.
💯
I homeschool my 4 children but my husband and I review it every year to make sure it's still working for each child. We also build intentional community so that they can naturally separate from us
How do you go about building intentional community with other kids?
God clearly tells us in the Bible that we are to train our child in the way he should go... when we awake, when we walk, etc... so, no school for our kids they must be trained by us. God never said to send them out to other adults, especially those who don't have our values!
Yes, so train values at home. School is for academics.
@@theresa.m. lol most of the children coming out of public school can't even read or read 😅
@theresa.m. academics is the parents' responsibility as well. Besides, kids in public schools can't read or do math!
More power to you for homeschooling, but I don’t think that’s a good take. It comes across a little one-dimensional, maybe? A community of intergenerational and familial input etc would be assumed, I imagine. God never said *not* to send them to school or other adults. The duty and the moral obligation rests on the parents, but not every aspect of that task needs to be carried out by them.
@@E.R.Hewitt Got never said to or "not" to, so it's good we have choices.
I don't think she knows much about homeschooling in the sense of socialization. I went to public school and wouldn't even talk to my own grandma! But my homeschooled kids can talk and have conversations with adults and people they just met. Community is not just kids of their own age in large groups. The adult to child ratio in the home is healthy and it's wonderful to have kids be with different ages.
Homeschoolers being anti social is a complete myth and stereo type. I homeschool 3 of my
6 kids now and my oldest is currently going to catechism classes for confirmation at our local parish and the other students that attend are rude, look miserable and barely talk. My daughter introduced herself to some and she said it looked like they didn’t want to be bothered. Compare a public school child to a homeschool child and the results are stunning. Homeschool kids are polite and very social, while public school kids are rude, no eye contact and awkward.
You are absolutely right! I homeschooled all five of my children all their lives right up to college in a time when it wasn't a popular thing to do. They're now well rounded, prosperous, contributing members of society. I'd do it ALL over again in a heartbeat. Bless you.
I have ADHD, and I'm soooo glad i was homeschooled. I tried normal school (just a few classes) and it killed me mentally.....homeschooling is just better for neurodivergent kids.
I had sent my children to school, because it was the normal thing to do... My eldest ended up with all sorts of social anxiety that she didn't have before attending school. A once outgoing confident child, she grew into a socially awkward depressed teen... I saw the same thing happening with my second daughter. I took her out of school 4 years ago, and she is so much better for it. My youngest asked to be homeschooled as well so I took him out of preschool and he is doing amazing. They have a great group of homeschool friends, as well as friends from the neighborhood that go to school. Homeschooling was the best decision we ever made for our children, my only regret is that I didn't homeschool my eldest.
😭😭 why can’t you be in charge of the dept of education?!?!? 😭😭
As an elementary teacher I see this ALL the time and for every political issue that goes by, I NEVER hear them talk about THIS. And for teachers… THIS is the daily issue why our kids are failing! Way too many students in a class, assuming that one size fits all education, and expecting a teacher to be able to meet each individual’s specific needs in a sea of too many children. Somebody please fix the education system 🙏😭
So hold on if you leave baby with grandma too long its harmful to the baby but as soon as they turn 5 you should hand them over to the state?
If at all possible Homeschool your children regardless.. Statistics show they do better all around, your children do not "need" the government education and parents don't "need" Anyone else to do the parents job. Community is who you decide gets to be around your children.
I was wondering the same thing, because I've heard this guest talking an attachment-style line, and I was surprised to come here and hear her supporting school environments. I have always encouraged independence in my children, from the moment they could crawl. But I'm not planning on just throwing them to the wolves as soon as they turn the age the state requires they start being "educated."
I homeschool but I don’t think it’s the absolute ideal. I think it is the ideal relative to the situation most of us are in - a liberal, hyper individualized, anti-Christian, low trust society with little access to close knit Christian community that can provide us with academically rigorous classical education at an affordable price.
Ideally we would be in a more cohesive, Church-centric society and education would be viewed as the formation of a servant of Christ. The very foundation of the arts and sciences would be to glorify God. Schools would train pupils in this but alas we are far from this.
Agreed. We can’t afford/don’t live near good private schools so we homeschool. I would love a school near us staffed by holy nuns, but it doesn’t exist anymore
This
We are sending our kids to a Catholic school and love it. I understand though that we are in an incredibly fortunate situation to be able to afford it on just 1 income
Big Agree! This is exactly what I tell people. Also the compulsory schooling paradigm is a social construct. 😅
Children don't NEED peers they NEED their parents.
I respect parents who home school, but I’m glad we quit home schooling and put our kids in school. They are doing so much better academically and socially, and their faith is still on fire!! We love their teachers. (And no, they don’t go to a private school.) It’s also improved my relationship with my children, as I can be just mom now. We’re so much closer. School has been a blessing!!
Homeschooling is not for all and that is fine
i love erica! episodes with her are my favorite
Homeschooling is great if parents actually do their job and teach them. And gets them out to socialize. I was blessed to be raised that way. But I know some people don't teach their kids at all and don't socialize them. Homeschooling is really really hard and parents need to be up for the challenge.
I don’t know any parent who doesn’t teach their homeschooled kid. I’ve homeschooled my kids for six years now.
@@1faithchick7 yes, and recognize if some subjects need to be outsourced, with tutors and co-ops.
I often wonder how advanced subjects are taught
Exactly! It is incredibly hard and you have to be quite an extrovert and disciplined to do it well. I know people that are and they do a good job homeschooling. I know I would not be able to, and am an introvert. We chose Catholic school and love it
I used to make fun of homeschooled kids. Now I’m looking into it.
Vulnerable post: I wonder if there could be a guest that brings a little balance to this. I’m a stay-at-home mom of 4 ages 6-2. They are VERY active outgoing children. My husband and I are introverts. The kiddos go to a hybrid school (in 3 days, home 2), it works for us. I prayed my whole life to be able to stay home. The blessing isn’t lost on me. That said, I really don’t like it. I’m guilt ridden over this too.
I think working women see my strife and that’s why they don’t want it. We have great community, etc. but I’m spent in every way possible (great husband too!) I don’t feel like I need to make it look good either. I think an authentic representation is important. My thought is just… we aren’t taught culturally how to do hard things. I know many working moms - who are awesome- that are doing this better than me. Seems one sided and too black/white to say what’s best. Modernity has hit us like a truck. I’m not sure we know what’s the best anymore. I think everyone needs to be intentionally discerning.
That’s the most challenging stage in my opinion, four kids from 2-6, you are in the trenches! It’s not easy to find what works for everyone including mom.
I have 5 kids ranging from age 6 months to 8 and have been a sahm the entire time. I also don’t really enjoy it often. And at the same time it’s fulfilling and beautiful I get to be there for our kids. I understand the blessing and the importance of it. What helped is doing something that can challenge you mentally. I really despise this idea we as women don’t have personal dreams we like to explore like men do and somehow should just be content with being home. I talked a lot with my husband about it and he encouraged me to do more volunteer work that fits in our family schedule. It really helped me mentally. I also want to work in the future and make it work with our family. Reason I understand why women work and applause them if they can make it work with their family. My motto is family/kids first, but mom also needs things to strive in her own life. A loving supportive husband is often key. We chose to send our kids to Catholic school. I just am not equipped to homeschool them and our kids love being in school. Hang in there! You’re not alone!
I dont know why any Christian would send their children to PS at this point...
Agree with her. It depends on the child. You have to KNOW your child well and know that you are capable of schooling them if they are CLEARLY not doing well with public school. I see WAY too many parents trying to force the system to “work” for their child with an IEP when the true answer is that child needs to be with their mother more.
We live in Poland and my son goes to school in Sep'25. I and my wife are considering homeschooling as it's becoming more and more popular in my country. The liberal gov pursues on leftist's agenda and slowly is trying to crop out Christianity out of school program (literature, history, religion).
Same in Ireland
The proof of stay-home-mom shaming: no retirement for us, as if we didn’t support the growth of our society by raising healthy and moral citizens.
I homeschool, but my two oldest children went to school through 4th and 2nd grade. After the first year I asked them which one they liked best and why. They said “homeschool because we’re allowed to talk about God.” If you are a Christian, try to homeschool.
I don't know who the woman speaking with Lila is, but, generally, I could not disagree with her more. In my opinion, her educational/schooling priorities are way off. She seems to think that the purpose of education is to adequately socialize children, not only with other children but also, apparently, with non-parent adults. Not only are these not even close to being the main purposes of education, but you can accomplish both of these things quite easily without a traditional school setting at all. Education/schooling should be a Bible-based, Christ-centered process of 1) leading the student to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, and 2) equipping him with knowledge, skills, and attitudes for effective Christian service. Homeschooling is far better at achieving these goals of education than all public schools the vast majority of private schools.
Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, so she is coming from a perspective of psychological development of children. And part of that is learning to interact with others, including peers and other adults. I would agree with you (as a homeschooler myself) that i want to strongly educate my children in Christian faith and service, AND in part that needs to happen within community both to learn from others and to practice what they learn.
She’s also Jewish
@@steffimendoza3470 Thanks for your comment. I agree with you. That community just doesn't need to be a traditional pre/primary/secondary school.
@@nathansmith9332 totally agree
I live in internationalsocialist Germany (thus mandatory school, only very expensive schools are ok). I raise my children more or less traditionally, and that makes them unhappy among usual kids. To be precise: As unhappy as those other kids are, who know no real friendship, benevolence, honesty, real life.
School is the biggest problem in the life of both my kids.
Erica certainly made some good points (like her insight about what Freud said vs current culture), but her comments about homeschooling were completely counter to Catholic teaching.
Father John Hardon says, "parents are the only people sacramentally guaranteed to have the graces necessary to educate their children." That doesn't mean that children should have no instruction outside the home, but it definitely means that there aren't some kids who do better separated from their parents.
And what she said about the more social kids doing better in a school setting is the OPPOSITE of what we all observe! The more social kids are the ones who begin fornicating and drinking and smoking and vaping younger.
Also, consider what all the exorcists are telling us about how the devil's gameplan is to separate children from their parents.
I was just completely shocked by these comments.
Erica is not catholic. This is not a Catholic show either.....this is a typical American podcast/show not at all under obligation to or influence of Catholicism. Lila just "happens" to be catholic.
I didn’t gather that from what she said. She is talking about how it’s not one size fits all. She said some do better away meaning some don’t do well away. Not all day or every day, but for small amounts of time. This is true. My oldest always ran to Sunday school and would run into friends houses or grandmas and was happy to run away from me and say “BYE MOM!” And then happy to come home with me. My younger two have always just preferred to be with me and just don’t enjoy being with someone else. Of course my oldest wouldn’t be okay all the time, but he just was different. (I homeschool)
My child goes to a church school two-days a week which is just enough for her. She gets time away, and we are part of a larger hybrid homeschooling community with parents who have similar values.
As a retired teacher, all children suffer in public school. Separation from the family for such long periods of time is not natural or beneficial. Historically if you look back, the breakdown of our society started with full day public schools. Homeschool is best with social activities like church, sports, clubs and homeschool co-ops.
It’s always better to ask “what are you passionate about” vs what do you do
If your a faithful Christian who wants to raise biblicaly sound and faithful children then its an astounding yes.
Half day schools! ( micro schooling) Like 4 hours tops at a school! Let kids socialize, learn and get home to be enjoyed by their family. School should not be daycare. And yet it has become that! Kid gets on bus around 6:30/7am then gets home around 4:30? Like WHAT 😮 you can still homeschool and have time for other activities this way. All mine are homeschooled and we go to co-ops.
We homeschool and I’m having to cut back on the social time 😂 we are getting TOO much time socializing.
Get Father Issac Mary Relyea on your show please!! He has taught me so much about avoiding hell and how to get to heaven!
Compulsory schooling is not a necessity for child development.
They talk about one end of the spectrum, But it’s worth mentioning kids on the other end that would be slowed down by the speed of transitional school? Agree Re community being a key either way
Do children face any adversity through homeschooling? When you start working there's obviously going to be enough and more adversity that they need to get accustomed to.
Strange that the guest only focused on socialization as the only metric for determining whether or not to homeschool or send to public schools, as if that is the only metric.
I would say not only nerds, but children that are very sociable will do better homeschooled, given they have a community and are not isolated. For her to say social kids will do better in public schools, I would say show me the evidence?
Hey there Lila!👋💐💐 can you remind me where to find the only 2 studies on g*ape survivors and their remorse on abortion?? I'm having a hard time finding them! Wishing you all the best! Please go back to school!
🙏 praying you dont send me any of Shoshanna Ehrlich's dialed up pseudostudies!!
Ok so just because my child would not enjoy the “social” environment of school means she’s neurodivergent? What the heck kind of logic is this
Dodging the question.
But only stay at home parents can home-school their children. And not everyone is a stay at home parent.
I had no clue my friend was homeschooled and when I told her this, her response was, "There's a right way to do it, and a wrong way to do it." I was shocked that she dressed well, was fun, and listened to music.
lol I'm homeshooled and it's hilarious because when I go to hang out with friends at a library or something, people are sooo shocked to learn I'm homeschooled because they think we don't have fun, or go anywhere....😂
@StayArtsy haha yeah, I also shouldn't say "shocked" when really I was just surprised. The fruits of homeschooling, like with many things, just really depend.
@@mitchlover true true. In homeschooling it is key to have the parent/s greatly invovled, which thankfully my stay at home mother is very on top of our education, and my dad makes sure we are socialized lol.
I'm not sure why people educated at home wouldn't also like music, dress well, and be fun. Almost like pretty much all other people.
Have to disagree with her here.