Exactly that! They get bored because it's too easy a game for them, so they move on to the next target.. only to come back creeping when the other person doesn't play along. It's a vicious circle..
MsCharlieBrown78 (Charlie Rae) true, I've done this. I played two girls and ruined both their relationships. They were best friends before I fucked it up lol
+ShinyBacon Sure you were gaming but that does not automatically make you NPD. Because if you were NPD they were never your 'friends' in first place, they were just targets and commodities for exploitation. Likewise, if NPD have no remorse or guilt about anything, ever - so you wouldn't care about damage caused, just find more prey.
You have to stop caring about whether they miss you or not. You have to realize they're wired differently and don't have the capacity to care about you the way you can care about them. If they do miss you it is only because they miss having you at their beck and call.
or they simply dont want to waste time on someone that shuts them out ' it would be a disorder to keep going after someone who doesnt want to be with you ' would it not ? its called "letting go "
My ex he abused me he slept with me then said we could just be friends then when l finished it with him he blamed me and said l manipulated him into the relationship for four hours he could have walked away
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Tam Talks Too Much nope I answered her very briefly and in a very neutral tone. Neither side has suggested anything about getting together for any reason
+VoiceOfAmerica Hmmm..but she got an answer. Could be all she needed to THINK she can come back. Not saying that you would, just addressing how they think in general. May be a good idea not to respond to any more. :)
Tam Talks Too Much - you may be right however she is very arrogant and entitled. She is probably having difficulty understanding my slow neutral response. Getting me back on any level is going to require some serious begging....
The narcissist is an energetic vampire. They usually just seek out their next victim. If they call you after a few months of no contact to have “closure” you must never give in to their request. The narcissist lives on open wounds. You will never receive closure from them. Ever. So unless you wish to be victimized again then “no contact” is YOUR closure. It is the only way of YOU regaining YOUR power and beginning to heal.
Their closure is a emotional sink hole tactic. Its to take every bit of you they can. I fell for it, may be it is what set me free from further abuse in the long run. Its what lead me to discovering what a narcissist is.
Leandro Velez Hi, Yes I have closure knowing that I can love and they can't love cause of their mental illness, their brains are wired different than ours God Bless You!!!!!!
The Narcissist will be bored with you. They will not miss you as a person because they never truly connected with you. They return for validation, they don't want you to speak of what they did to you, just be there for them and give them what they want. Remain theirs forever to use as they wish and validate their existence.
It is absolutely mind boggling how many people have suffered from these whackos and made it out. I know it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Upvote this so new visitors can see how many of us have been there so they know they are not alone and will make it to the other side. 💗
They can be obsessive if they didn’t finish you. Any chance they will be back to total destroy you. Be smart and go NO CONTACT FOREVER. If you are used to traumas, run to therapy to not fall again. Heal yourself!
This is very true.. My ex narcissist destroyed me as a person, then left me after I got pregnant. Several years later, he contacts me, upset that his new girl left him.... Guess she was strong and wouldn't put up with him abusing her.. which he actually surprisingly admitted to doing this to her to me. I hated that he's obsessing over some girl that left him.. when he left me so easily and I never hurt him, I loved him with all my heart. Even though I hated him.. there was no way I could ever let him go.. Hurts they don't care about you, but care about the one that doesn't even want them.
Christiane Herz - High social status. Being rich. Have sex with as much people as possible. Maximal focus on their body(muscles, perfect skin, minimum wrinkles, perfect hair. Trust me, I am one of them. :)
Both my mother and father are narcissists. Father, sociopathic. mother, psychopathic. Over the years I have broken off from both of them and at age 34, I am the happiest I have EVER been. After a year and a half of no contact my mother showed up atThe only time she "cares" is when I'm not in her life. When I am, she views having a child as "work". my doorstep, feigning concern. The only time she "cares" is when I'm not in her life. When I am, she views having a child as "work"; her words. I immediately turned her away. Again, I have NEVER been happier, people.
Sorry but my heart goes out to your mother. Mothers always love their children even when children treat them badly. Anyone who turns away the woman who brought him into the world world and raised him is not much of it. No matter what you think of her methods you have obviously destroyed her. What does that make you?
@@edandvalcoward that is a really unfair assumption to make and extremely insensitive. Mother's are very capable of abusing their children and neglecting them.
Don't criticize yourself when somebody makes you feel really horrible. People aren't stupid and your intuition is valid. When you have a terrible gut feeling, flea the relationship as soon as possible.
It happened to me on Thanksgiving week. He gave me the silent treatment when he was supposed to get back to me. He ignored my text messages. He pushed me to the limit. I was looking forward to our 2nd date. I thought we were on the same page, but instead he no longer read my texts. He didn’t block me, but he might as well have, since he chose to not read my texts & ignore them. His actions were rude, disrespectful and unacceptable. Looking back, I know I did NOTHING wrong. It was all him who did me wrong, ghosting/leaving me. I AM DONE. When a fiesty Scorpio woman is done with you, that’s it. There is no going back.
Don't make the stupid mistake of thinking narcissists exist only in the love relationship departiment. They exist also in the friendship department, really in any department. The no-contact article is spot-on, guess what they only miss is some lil puppet to manipulate
I think that it was brilliant to show the actual thoughts a narcissist might have in their head about a situation. It gives insight to the average person, like myself, that these people don't follow the same moral path as a healthy individual.
She contacted me after 4 months of no contact. My narcissist ex, a woman, sent an amazing text. "I don't want to trouble you, but I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you. Is there someway we can talk." I fell for this. She said all the right things, said she wanted to take things slow. (Although asked me to stay and make love to her. I failed there too.) Two days later turned it around and said she wanted to see me, but didn't think I wanted to "jump right back in." She said she wanted to date me, but date other men as well. Insane! After 2 1/2 years together I am supposed to share her with other men so she can keep all her options open. Fucking insane! Right back to absolutely no contact.
Mitchell My ex is a classic narc!! Boy, did I finally come to my senses and do what was best for me. I started passing rumors to my ex's acquaintances and co-workers that my ex was a junkie and a loser. Then I boiled my ex's pet bunny rabbit in a saucepan... very slowly!! You should have seen the expression on my ex's face when they came home - I secretly observed the show with a hidden camera device!! Absolutely amazing. I then got my ex fired from their job!... Next, I found out who my ex was dating and secretly followed that person to find out all sorts of info. I'm now using it against the BOTH of them. Now, whenever my ex tries to come back to me, I ignore the voicemails and texts and sit their hysterically laughing while they grovel in self-pity, begging me to return! Then, I pretend I'm gonna return...and bingo! I dump my ex like a hot potato for the dozenth time! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! I love it, it's great fun!
She wanted you to come back so she could dump you. She had to her revenge because how dare you not acknowledge her. How DARE you ignore her and not reach out.
They may be a bit obsessed with "gaming you" for their feed - But the point is, they never miss the person, may miss perks - financial, connections, ego-benefits - They DO NOT HAVE EMPATHY OR EMOTIONAL FEELINGS FOR ANYONE BUT SELF!
If you've truly gone "No Contact," why would you even ask this question? Why do you care if he misses you or not? If that's your concern after going "No Contact," then you haven't fully detached yet. You may have gone "No Contact" externally, but internally you are still connected to him/her. The most important thing after realizing you've been involved with a narcissist is to understand the role you played -- your co-dependency, so that you don't do it again, and so that you don't get involved with another narcissist. Stop putting your energy into trying to understand the other person, and put that energy into understanding yourself.
Good advice. It is often easier to blame the other person instead of taking a long hard look at your own behaviours and way of being that creates many of your problems and then doing something about changing your own behaviours. It is by changing ourselves that we get the power needed to force others to change the way they interact with us. If our new altered behaviour no longer makes it easy for them to use,abuse and exploit us, the Narcissist and such types needs to look elsewhere for their next soft target and they go for the easy ones. These abound in the female gender,though some males are pretty soft and easy targets for female Narcissists,too and complain about being victims of evil women who used them and dumped them. Fact is they exposed themselves for easy exploitation by effectively saying,via body language etc "Here I am. Right for the plucking. Heaps of money. Good looking. Good body. Good job. Heaps of girls keen to snap me up. Come and get me while I'm still hot... I need to be loved..." They are magnets to Narcissistic women eg on dating sites, in trendy clubs that only certain types frequent etc.
in my case, the narcissist i had to detach from was my sister. i cannot be expected to not wonder if the person i helped raise and loved for all her life missed me. i can, however, learn to not let it get the best of me and i can move on. a person that loves does not simply "shut it off" because it is not reciprocated, but we can control how it affects our lives
:"( I hate how true this is... he only ever thought of himself, for his own gain.. yet I still lay here missing him, but for what.. he never respected me. He doesn't even miss me after everything I've done for him. This truly hurts. Make it stop
Update: give time some time 😊 forgot I even posted this. I had just broken up with him and found he already got another gf 2-3weeks after, so this post came from a place of pure heartache and betrayal. I broke up with him because he was truly selfish and couldn't see the forest for through the trees - best, decision, ever. If you keep trying and trying, and you're left with an unsatisfactory result because you're making all the efforts, do yourself a favour. Life is hard enough and sometimes it's the company that you surround yourself with that makes life harder, cut those ties. ✂️😊 I'm the happiest I've ever been and found a long life partner. I truly hope the same for you all ❤️
It will stop..believe me when you know how disordered they are..no contact is best as you cannot 'save' anyone never mind someone is so disordered...no matter how much you love them..you cannot live with them or you'll only be existing...the feeling of freedom comes eventually and like any other you can become ambivalent to them eventually....I heard an amazing line..you cannot ever trust another the same, only have the courage to know you can cope if or when they break it...even the nicest sincerest people lie at times..have flaws...break trust...trust that you want healthier aspirations for yourself..our own minds should not be tortured by ourselves never mind from another🤩
*Reads the title* My answer: yes, because they miss all the benefits they had from using you, like the friendships they stole through you, the events surrounding those “friendships”, the great PR and Facebook friends they get from just being around you and these friendships, but most importantly they miss receiving the power/ego boost that comes from and mistreating people whom they believe they are inferior to bc they feel start to feel superior from it, like an exchange of energies. But do they miss you as a person and the friendship or relationship, memories you’ve had together? No. Just the benefits that come from it.
My narcissist told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then a few weeks later I reminded him of what he told me after a small argument. He asked me did I really believe him when he said that. He said I lied to you and called me an idiot. I said thank you and haven’t looked back. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. What I had to do was take the focus off of him and take a real good look at why I attracted this type of person and why was I attracted to an emotional unavailable person. I take responsibility for my choices. I don’t choose that from anyone anymore. Great lesson learned.
He He He.. They always act like its a man that does this!! My ex GIRLFRIEND Was exactly this!!! Dropped me like a rock and jumped in bed with the guy she had been texting for 7 months behind my back.. actually I dumped her when I followed her to his place.. Oh but he was "just a friend.." Yeah right.. Shes got him in her bed every night now. Damn what a wasted two years of my life with HER! WOMEN CAN BE NARCISSIST TOO!!
James Nelson mine too! I spent 2 years with this psycho until she gave herself away. She used religion as a mask and so many ppl thinks she’s kind but she’s a straight up demon. She got so mad when I found out she had been cheating on me. I found out after our breakup which was nothing more than her discarding me for a season until she got tired of the new supply as I being an empath was grade A. She was hoping I’d wait a few months before coming back but my instincts kicked in and she got so mad she lied about our relationship, took fake pictures of my car in hopes of costing me a job. It’s been 2 years since yesterday and I haven’t heard from her. Funny thing is, when I looked back at old pics of her, I can see that demon in her. I moved so if she has tried to return she has no clue where I live
i told my husband the same thing just this morning about this video. but recall that she was describing a scenario, and the narcissist was a man. my husbands exwife was everything described in this video. keep ur head up buddy, it isnt always like that
James Nelson indeed yes your right! Narcissism is in both men and women.. if you really surf you will find tons of men talking about women narcs and also women talking about being narcs. It’s out there you just have to look...
@@lolsucks3599 no. As anyone who knows a narc will tell you, they fool you into thinking they're good and interesting. They earn your trust quickly, then crush you. Some ppl will stay with a narc, doesn't change the fact they are one. I was raised by a narc mother, and my codependent father is still with her even after she cheated on him with his best friend for 2 years, then later, cheated on him with a cop for 5 years. This got them seperated for 2 years, but my codependent father was sucked back in. Dealing with a narc is insanely complex.
Oh my I can't believe how stop on this is...I never knew there were people out there like this I thought I was going insane. it hurt to think this happens to so many. I feel I can never trust again and I don't want to have my life stollen away from me again or be taped. .It's been 5 months no contact...but he did seek a message through email as I forgot about bloking that one. I totally ignored it...I hope he never finds a way to contact me again. ever. I'm so messed up after this relationship that I tried to get out of so many time...now I have the knowledge. but dam...I'm still in shock...my are there so many people like this.
I notice that it's Capitalism: TV, religion, politics...uh, TV. Bottom lines have no restrictions. Even a multi-billion dollar corporation gets to pay workers a "minimum wage." This style of society is what i think ive noticed to be encouraging this "cluster B psychology"
Pizznad unfortunately i just realized that is the only type i attract. so if I am attracted to them and they are attracted to me I know they are the wrong person . that's really messed up. I'm happy I know it now but I'm not happy what's the way that I am
Pizznad I attracted some guys at a club tonight, they all seemed desperate and odd or creepy downright almost serial killer. Must be the way I dance 😕😀
T Jade IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME TOO ABOUT WHAT NARCS WERE DID RESEARCH AND THERE IT WAS HES BEHAVIOR AND THERE TACTICS SO NOW STAY NO CONTACT AND STRONGER NOW AND AT PEACE STAY AWAY FROM THESE VAMPIRE DEMONS !!!
I learned first-hand that it is LITERALLY nothing personal, because you are not a person to them. You are an ego-candy vending machine. When you try to go "no contact", the machine (you) stopped working, they get frustrated and try to kick it a few times to get it working again. When it doesn't, they move on to find another. They might return later another time or two to see if the machine magically works again, but they eventually realize the machine is permanently out of order, and they give up and finally disappear forever.
I recently just broke up with someone like this and the emotional damage was really messed up ! he manipulated me i was so stressed and i'm glad that i broke all contact with him ! it was all an illusion im happy i had the chance to expose him and tell him that he was a '' Narcissist'' . he had anger problems and loved to hurt people smh
One thing not mentioned in reference to narcs is that they'll often show up when you're going through some hellish experience (like the death of a loved one) to feed off your pain and suffering and to gloat over your loss. They'll pretend to be "sympathetic and supportive" but that's just a mask they wear. They're so horribly jealous of what you have or had with the loved one that your losing that person thrills them and they take great delight in it. They're sick in the head in ways most people can't even imagine.
I escaped 1 full year ago, he must've read your book or something because he followed this step by step. So glad I stuck to not responding and no contact, I'm certain he would've killed me eventually.
+Mandy Heule They all work in exactly the same ways - it is just how they function - just don't let another one in again. Because whilst they are minority of population they really get around and are always searching for new people that are kind and empathetic, as they make they best prey.
You must be fucking stupid Mandy Heule, didn't you listen to what was said? THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL DO! They don't need to 'read the book' - you stupid thick fuck - thats what THEY ARE - it's the nature of the beast. I bet he's glad you fucked off you must've bored him shitless
it's awful that we desperately want to know if they miss us. they treat us so bad and we finally get the courage to leave and we still want to know. it's crazy how even after everything we still want that approval we were good enough to be missed.
I was raised by one of these misfits and she raised my older sister to be her partner in crime against my brother and I who were both very easy going, genuinely loved our family, easy pickins' for people like them. My father was the easy going, quick to forgive type too. I have had all kinds of friendships, relationships, employers with this same personality type my whole life. I just didn't know that I truly deserved better. I honestly thought that being a nice person was enough. But now I see that I've been projecting my good qualities onto a whole lot of people who don't have them as part of their moral character (or lack of). These videos rang so true that I will not ever just assume anyone shares my values ever again. I will protect myself going forward.
They put a scar in your ass; that's the story. I really haven't been able to chat-up people like I used to, back when I used to jump in the sack with whoever said "Yes" which was nearly everyone. Back then I didn't think game existed; now it's all I'm looking for ("game" and "peace" are never seen together that much I've learned).
Love it 😊 took me 3 years to recover and it mentally broke me. Pls leave and stay gone and recover xx with love 💖 from the uk 🇬🇧 this is my ex husband to a T
my ex would hate when i would ignore him after he hurt me . he was crazy! and wanted control. i'm so glad i figured him out ! and told him he was a narcissist and needed help. he didn't know how to treat a women.
tess dunkley you are empathetic and that is a great quality to have. Dont let a narc change you. What you need to do is learn their ways so you can detect them and cut them off when u recognize who they are. Good luck.
Very hard! No matter how we try to keep things limited to the kids, they always weasel in the opportunity to talk to us about personal feelings/emotions. So sickening! Smh 😾
Keep it low contact and stay all business I’m wrapping up my dads estate and some communication necessary. I’ve limited it to email and stick to facts.
I find it interesting that nearly every example of a narcissist is male. I'm sure research shows that a very high percentage of narcissists are men, but after divorcing my narcissistic wife of >19 years in Oct, I assure you that the women are no walk in the park. If you're married to a narcissist my hat is off to you b/c I know exactly what you're going through.
They must miss something you give them or they wouldn't Hoover, but I don't think they miss you on an emotional level at all, at least most of them-depending on how severe it is some of them might miss you, but the key point is the lack of emotional empathy... that’s the saddest hardest part.
Joseph Goudreau all these years on and off, I couldn't understand why it felt so empty and I attributed it to emotional unavailability, and control issues, having to be the man of the house.
My mother largely missed being able to emotinally unload on us. Once she found a massive enabler, she dumped all three of us...including my brother in his last months of life. And yet somehow she tried to turn his funeral into the mom show. And then thought she could pull that and then get me to hate his widow for 'not being nice enough, and that was the only reason why she never visited'. Ugh. She really is a bad person.
Sorry about that Dembai. Realizing that someone one used to put on a pedestal is just a person with insect emotions and thus primordial motives leading to the disregard of respect makes one feel empty inside but then comes the rush of joy from realizing that one is not like that.
Its never your fault getting away is your best option, its harder when your truly in love with the girl but know that there is something wrong, leaving will allow u to be set free. Otherwise stay and continue getting played, but know this life is has many lessons to teach u all. I learned, Moved out, now im happy try it
No. As long as they have another source, they don't. It's only when they inevitably lose that source that they try to contact you again. Then they are looking for easy prey and think that if they say the right things, you'll be putty in their hands again.
Since I discovered that what I was dealing with are "Narcissists", I've learned to keep VERY FIRM, HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. I don't make myself available - even when I have no plans. MY peace and well-being is paramount. I don't praise the Narcissists (seriously, for what?) as they espouse their "amazing feats". I don't avail my time, energy, or expertise to the Narcissists' benefit. (Example: I was TOLD by a Narcissist to do the immense research and paperwork for a property he is interested in purchasing. In the past, I poured every ounce of energy into making the Narcissists' lives better. Finally, when this came up, I said, "No. Not my purchase. Not my responsibility. If you want it, you'll make it a priority and put forth the effort, as you do (wasteful) archery competitions - like you did when you listened to someone else tell you to buy a book (this guy NEVER reads - ALWAYS said, "Reading is so boring!"), read it, and learn. Then you went online, found it, ordered it, read it, called me to tell me how you read a 190+ page book in just 2 days, learned so much, and improved (even though he did NOT podium in his last tournament...the first or second after reading a book that, literally said everything I ever suggested in the past 10 years). So I know YOU are capable of handling YOUR OWN ISSUES." His retort: "You're so jealous I read a book - get over YOURSELF!" (Uh-huh... Someone call the Narcissist a paddy-wagon. LOL) I didn't rise to his outlandish and STUPID snark. I just shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and said, "I LOVE reading - always have. Never heard of anyone being 'jealous' because YOU 'read a 190+ paged book.' In any case, I'm NOT doing it. YOUR purchase, YOUR responsibility." When he dropped me off at my place, he said, "Don't forget to take the paperwork with you." Again, I smiled and said, "No." He said, "You said, 'You need these papers.' So now you won't fill them out - are you shitting me!?" I confirmed that I did indeed state TO HIM, "These are the papers YOU'LL need to start the purchase. I'll put them in YOUR truck for YOU to take to the broker of YOUR choice, etc." Then I said, "I am NOT doing this for YOU, again. I am NOT going to advise YOU, again. I am NOT helping YOU to make me YOUR slave and scapegoat, again." He then snapped, "FINE, then I WON'T BUY IT!" I smiled and said, "YOUR life, YOUR choice. I have my own place. I don't live with my parents at the age of 51. I know how to buy, manage, and sell property. I choose to NOT do it FOR YOU." That ended the conversation.) I don't believe or trust a single word Narcissists say - it's ALL LIES. I have begun to make new acquaintances and gone out to events that I enjoy. I have learned to love myself once more. Breaking away was HARD. It felt very much the way an addictive medication withdrawal has been described. I spent more than a year away from this particular Narcissist; even moved thousands of miles away. Events that have NOTHING to do with this Narcissist brought me back to the area. I believe GOD has His reasons. ...maybe to show the Narcissists, here, that my leaving was not about loss for me, but personal and spiritual growth... ...maybe to show there IS a very real, powerful, loving GOD; and His Love - which will NEVER be a part of a Narcissist's character - is all we need... I feel stronger, much more peaceful, relaxed, content with MY choices FOR MYSELF. I pray all victims and survivors of the abusive beasts called "Narcissists", will find the strength through GOD to get away, heal, grow, and blossom into persons who find Love in Jesus, and trust GOD will NEVER pair you with such evils - WE made that mistake. BLESSEDLY, WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY AND SUFFER. LEAVE. GET OUT. GET AWAY. Prayers for all. GOD bless!
I fell for the hoovering last spring AND this spring. This year she even went to counseling for 5 months with me and then...wash , rinse, repeat. Heart= shattered
Thanks. I found this most helpful. I have initiated no contact, but it is very hard to maintain. I watch videos like this several times a day to keep up my will power. Leaving a narcissist is not unlike quitting smoking. We find it impossible to leave something/someone we know is very bad for us.
Wasted 5.5 years of my life with a narcissist widow with 3 kids. Money can be made up again, my time and emotions wasted are priceless. She never appreciated anything.
I used to cry all the time over this idiot I have had a lot of time to heal I still am I don't feel the same about him where i once saw a prince I now see a frog. At times I feel jealousy that he has other woman but then I remind my self how he treated me and I feel sorry for his new love and him really . It's time to concentrate on my self now it's all about me and my daughter 😊 time really does heal I'm almost thru the other side I'm starting to get to love my own company and do things wen I like I have no one controlling my every move I can relax around my daughter i dont have to hear that I'm a bad mother and I'm the worste. Thank you god for taking me me away from this person and out of the bubble I was in. The wound is healing well but it hasn't form the scar as yet almost there.💪💪💪
lovely smile wow..I sill cry over him.💔 but I could have written exactly what you did...right down to my daughter and critical of my mothering, my family. he had me doubt everything about myself and since last Aug when he discarded me by text!! I'm still down and doubting myself. 😢
After 2.5yrs of complete no contact my ex narc gf sent me an email through her aunt's work email. I had blocked every social media and email contact relation to her prior. i did not open the attachment that said invite to open. I was the best supply she ever had. She will search the rest of her miserable life seeking for and never finding what she had with me. That has been my peace of mind. This latest email address is now blocked as well. So long narc!
Call me sadistic but after what my narc ex fiancé did to me I like to watch him suffer by cutting his supply ^.^ the things he does to get me back in his sad life only makes me smile. I'm enjoying the fact that he can't find a new supplier that I'm his only hope for a good high and he can't have it ever again. Who's in charge now?
Kayleigh, How did you do it? he bombarded me with love at first and sucked all the attention out of me then started backing away and left me wondering why! I innocently spoke to him a few times about it and he gave me BS reasons like he was busy and made it seem as if I was the crazy one. Once I read about his personality disorder it all made perfect sense.. so I gradually cut off his supply and now I'm completely ignoring him. He is freaking out cause the tables have turned and has been hoovering.. He sent me a "How is your day?" text, which I ignored and since then he's been watching and waiting for me to break no contact I know he is really bothered right now. I am giving it time to see if breaks and tries to get my attention again but if he does give in, how can I manipulate from there? He said his ex "used" him for his money and didn't love him and that he was the one always after her.(she must have been real good at his game). So how can I get to that level? :) Thanks
I have been married to a Narc for 56 years. I married at 18,5 yrs old. He was 31 (said he was 27.). After these decades of emotional and psychological abuse, it was turning physical, and I went to the Police. First time - warning. Second time, Court case. He was expelled from our flat and no contact was ordered by the Judge. I am free! He is now 88 yrs old and I am 75. He flew with our Daughter-in-Law to London to live with our Son's lovely family. I survived these decades with the Joy and Strength of God Almighty, my Redeemer.
Denise ...22 years here. The only time they "feel"anything is embarrassment when people ask them why all three of their children haven't seen them in decades.....and believe me, their friends and acquaintances figure out that spells something very wrong.
spidey web that's comforting in a sick way. It's been about 10 years for me and I'm happily married to someone healthy, with two kids yet here I am reading up on narcissism, still trying to understand and heal. I've mentally beaten myself up over how long this process has taken for me. Glad to know I'm not alone. Hugs
I saw signs of this with someone I was talking to I ended it immediately never met him ! He was mad and his true colours showed when I shut him down, he made me feel like I was stupid and wrong ! My come back to him was I'm sorry you feel that way, he did not like that lol He was the walking textbook of a narcissist !
I hate when they feel like as if you “NEED THEM” and feel as if you can’t go on with life without them. And they actually say to you,”YOU NEED ME!” Ugh! Sir I really don’t.........
I got away from mine. And it feels amazing. It took sometime and his multiple attempts to go through my family members to get to me, last attempt 2 months ago. To me he just looks so stupid and I broke free and trust me it wasn't easy at all, but healing from that abusive situation than putting myself back into the cycle of abuse, that is much more painful than the healing process. Time and patience and the more time you allow yourself to have away from your abuser the easy it gets and your confidence increases to the point where you can see through all the lies. You are worth more not matter what the abuser says and yes you will find love again. I am still learning to love me more and more each day 2 years later I am still single and I am OK with that. Because the love you learn to feel for yourself is greater than the love a narcissist will will provide.
I Finally got Rid of my NARCISSIST and I don't want to hear anything from him you are very correct on every POINT! It was all about HIM I HAVE CLOSED EVERY DOOR AND ENTRY IN MY LIFE . AND IM NOT LOOKING. BACK
yup! when they try to use suicide against you and try to self harm themselves to get you to stay.. forget running....SPRINT MY CHILD *SPRIIIIIINNNNTTT*
Oh my god...I didn't know...I didn't know. Thank God I know now....14 years may be gone but at least its not 24, 34 or 44 years down the damn drain! Thank you for sharing this!
They miss the convenient of using you. My narc have 3 slave girls over in Phillipines and 2 slave girls in California. After I left him, he go back to those old supply and he get bore and he will start hoovering you. Yes, they miss you but for the wrong reasons.
This video only refers to the over narcissists, ignoring the covert type. I married a covert that 'worshipped' and later discarded me after 22 years. Shy, insecure and a wallflower, I was his passport into any social situation and, now that he is alone he lives like a hermit and only for his work. We are still in limited contact via IM as we have to finish negociating the divorce and sell the family home, plus we have children in common, but neither he or I have ever initiated any other form of contact in 5 years. I would never expect him to come back with flowers or begging for a reconciliation, either... People tell me that if he saw me now (upbeat, happy, slim and depression free) he would want to return, but I reply that some people are better kept at a distance.
Dulce R.-W. I had no idea abt these two types of narcs, will look for more info abt it. Thanks for the info and glad that you are out of there!!! I just escaped from one dew weeks ago..
My mother hovers between overt and covert (based largely on results), I think the difference has everything to do with what they need in the moment. Covert narcs just need enablers (as other matters are fine, they get to be the victim which gets lots of attention). The only time they seek you out is if they really need something from you and can't get it anywhere else. I'd expect my mother to come out of the woodwork when her overt nhusband gets tired of her. It'll be a cold day in hell before I listen to her, though. And she knows it.
i did no contact - then they contacted me and devalued and discarded me, felt emotionally vulnerable and worthless, be strong and when they contact you ignore! they will get revenge on you so ignore and move on! You will feel liberated and happy
Never heard of Hoovering until I found Ms. Saeed. Wow. That’s exactly what my narc father inlaw tries to do to me. Over and over and over again he’s used this tactic on me in the 33 years I’ve been married. Wow. Thanks so much!
Thanks for the video!! I was in a really bad relationship with a narc a couple years ago... it messed me up so bad.. I haven’t been in a lasting relationship since. One of these days I’m going to get back out in the dating world.. my biological clock is ticking :(
I have reversed it on a narcissist and played them back. Caught them with all the lame lying excuses and used it too. They hated it!!! She had undercover guys with her which I caught her hiding them.. I did the same with women but didn’t hide them... it was a bunch of games.. and if your not smart or strong would drain you if you let it... after all the merry go round I totally cut everything off... even associated people.. the best thing ever... here’s a BIG tip always always always cut off ANY ties to old Girlfriends or boyfriends!!! It’s not fair to you or to the next person your with...
I don't think they give you a second thought. They are already onto their next target.
Exactly that! They get bored because it's too easy a game for them, so they move on to the next target.. only to come back creeping when the other person doesn't play along. It's a vicious circle..
+MsCharlieBrown78 You nailed it down - spot on.
As aside, how did you manage to capture Charlie Brown's heart!?
MsCharlieBrown78 (Charlie Rae) true, I've done this. I played two girls and ruined both their relationships. They were best friends before I fucked it up lol
Ouch!! you rascal :)
+ShinyBacon Sure you were gaming but that does not automatically make you NPD. Because if you were NPD they were never your 'friends' in first place, they were just targets and commodities for exploitation. Likewise, if NPD have no remorse or guilt about anything, ever - so you wouldn't care about damage caused, just find more prey.
You have to stop caring about whether they miss you or not. You have to realize they're wired differently and don't have the capacity to care about you the way you can care about them. If they do miss you it is only because they miss having you at their beck and call.
amjPeace Amen to that 🙏🏼👏🏼
Yessssssss
amjPeace
DAMNNNNNNN 100
or they simply dont want to waste time on someone that shuts them out ' it would be a disorder to keep going after someone who doesnt want to be with you ' would it not ? its called "letting go "
They miss abusing you.
Is it weird to miss being abused?
@@pillowverse7664 no I don't think so
True
They come back if you feel finally at peace.. they see you okay and come emotionally destroy you.
My ex he abused me he slept with me then said we could just be friends then when l finished it with him he blamed me and said l manipulated him into the relationship for four hours he could have walked away
They will expect you to light yourself on fire to keep them warm! This type of behaviour is demonic in nature.
Charni W Exactly. Narcs are evil incarnate!!!
Charni W That's what I always say! These people are demon-possessed!
Queen Candace Right!!! You are speaking the truth!!
I said the exact same thing!
Charni W I swear sometimes you can see their eyes are black! When they're glaring at you from across the room with their deceptive smile.
Forget them and move on with your life! They are not capable of true Love 💕
When you move on they try to come back just staring facts
👌👌👌
As simple as this sounds, it really ISN'T this cut & dried.
They miss you like the cat misses the mouse. After they play with it until it dies, then they toss it about. Like that.
Stephanie D , I agree with u 😄
Stephanie D so accurate
This hit home on so many different levels!
Sooooo true 👍👌
They often feel they are punishing you and feel great about it!
Yep
This makes me so angry!!! I wish I never met him!!!
SlayHer you will get over him trust me he's not worth it
@NA AN A female hacker has helped me out in spying my wife, her name is RUBBY she is an hacking witch and also double cryptocurrency you can contact her through this number +2349091419996.a trial that convince me also will make you tell others about her.
NA AN that’s my husband do 😔😔😔
I am with you
SlayHer I’m with you on this. I don’t have time In my life for sick games we normal people do not deserve being treated like this
They're Waiting for you to Break No Contact & go back to them.
Yes, you are right.. I haven't broken no contact with my Covert narc ex-girlfriend so she has finally given in and contacted me..
+VoiceOfAmerica Did you get back with her?
Tam Talks Too Much nope I answered her very briefly and in a very neutral tone. Neither side has suggested anything about getting together for any reason
+VoiceOfAmerica Hmmm..but she got an answer. Could be all she needed to THINK she can come back. Not saying that you would, just addressing how they think in general. May be a good idea not to respond to any more. :)
Tam Talks Too Much - you may be right however she is very arrogant and entitled. She is probably having difficulty understanding my slow neutral response. Getting me back on any level is going to require some serious begging....
The narcissist is an energetic vampire. They usually just seek out their next victim. If they call you after a few months of no contact to have “closure” you must never give in to their request. The narcissist lives on open wounds. You will never receive closure from them. Ever. So unless you wish to be victimized again then “no contact” is YOUR closure. It is the only way of YOU regaining YOUR power and beginning to heal.
Leandro Velez well said! 100%
Leandro Velez yesss sooo true☺
Their closure is a emotional sink hole tactic. Its to take every bit of you they can. I fell for it, may be it is what set me free from further abuse in the long run. Its what lead me to discovering what a narcissist is.
Leandro Velez, very well said.
Leandro Velez Hi, Yes I have closure knowing that I can love and they can't love cause of their mental illness, their brains are wired different than ours God Bless You!!!!!!
They don't care they are busy looking for their next victim.
Yez and they are out there.
The Narcissist will be bored with you. They will not miss you as a person because they never truly connected with you. They return for validation, they don't want you to speak of what they did to you, just be there for them and give them what they want. Remain theirs forever to use as they wish and validate their existence.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Wow! So true!
this is so true!
Exactly
Omg this is the purest truth! I was with a narcisist for far too long
Dude that's crazy
I have to play this video over and over when my mind start to replay memories
Right back to getting No Number ID, it is so stressful. I don’t know how they got into one of my accounts.
It is absolutely mind boggling how many people have suffered from these whackos and made it out. I know it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. Upvote this so new visitors can see how many of us have been there so they know they are not alone and will make it to the other side. 💗
They can be obsessive if they didn’t finish you. Any chance they will be back to total destroy you. Be smart and go NO CONTACT FOREVER. If you are used to traumas, run to therapy to not fall again. Heal yourself!
rosely covali
This is very true.. My ex narcissist destroyed me as a person, then left me after I got pregnant. Several years later, he contacts me, upset that his new girl left him.... Guess she was strong and wouldn't put up with him abusing her.. which he actually surprisingly admitted to doing this to her to me. I hated that he's obsessing over some girl that left him.. when he left me so easily and I never hurt him, I loved him with all my heart. Even though I hated him.. there was no way I could ever let him go.. Hurts they don't care about you, but care about the one that doesn't even want them.
*I LET GO*
*TO SAVE MYSELF*
*MY LIFE MATTERS*
Unless you have kids.....
Amazing! Don't waste your time with these creeps. You will never be treated like a person. Thanks David! Total nightmare!
they dont care
+Micheal Lopez EVER.
True words. He said that so
unless they are desperate for another source, ANY other source.
But why are they still alive-when they dont care about anything ?What is it all about ???
Christiane Herz - High social status. Being rich. Have sex with as much people as possible. Maximal focus on their body(muscles, perfect skin, minimum wrinkles, perfect hair. Trust me, I am one of them. :)
Both my mother and father are narcissists. Father, sociopathic. mother, psychopathic.
Over the years I have broken off from both of them and at age 34, I am the happiest I have EVER been. After a year and a half of no contact my mother showed up atThe only time she "cares" is when I'm not in her life. When I am, she views having a child as "work". my doorstep, feigning concern. The only time she "cares" is when I'm not in her life. When I am, she views having a child as "work"; her words. I immediately turned her away.
Again, I have NEVER been happier, people.
Sorry but my heart goes out to your mother. Mothers always love their children even when children treat them badly. Anyone who turns away the woman who brought him into the world world and raised him is not much of it. No matter what you think of her methods you have obviously destroyed her. What does that make you?
What a story, must take great strength to do that. Respect!
Wow! That's a tough hole to crawl out of, but you did it and should be proud.
I have two narcissistic parents as well. Being away from them has been the best thing ever for my anxiety. Amen!
@@edandvalcoward that is a really unfair assumption to make and extremely insensitive. Mother's are very capable of abusing their children and neglecting them.
This is exactly spot on. I have never felt he ever missed me. All these hovering examples are absolutely true.
Don't criticize yourself when somebody makes you feel really horrible. People aren't stupid and your intuition is valid. When you have a terrible gut feeling, flea the relationship as soon as possible.
Happened to me. Fell for it. Regretting now. This video is 100% true guys.
Q
Same here..
It happened to me on Thanksgiving week. He gave me the silent treatment when he was supposed to get back to me. He ignored my text messages.
He pushed me to the limit. I was looking forward to our 2nd date. I thought we were on the same page, but instead he no longer read my texts. He didn’t block me, but he might as well have, since he chose to not read my texts & ignore them. His actions were rude, disrespectful and unacceptable. Looking back, I know I did NOTHING wrong. It was all him who did me wrong, ghosting/leaving me.
I AM DONE. When a fiesty Scorpio woman is done with you, that’s it. There is no going back.
@@aliceabasolo4901 update please
This video helped me remember what crap I was dealing with and why I don't need the narcs in my life!
The narcissist may miss you but it’s only the idea that you were a pawn to them. It’s best to just distance yourself from that person and move on.
they dont care they only care for themselves they dont care who they hurt they only care about getting what they want no matter the cost
*EXACTLY*
i grieve with you all dealing with one make me walk under a car thank god i am out now i can hear i am a madman
Don't make the stupid mistake of thinking narcissists exist only in the love relationship departiment. They exist also in the friendship department, really in any department. The no-contact article is spot-on, guess what they only miss is some lil puppet to manipulate
So true. My narcissist was my best friend. Four and a half years no contact. Does it still hurt ? Yeah. Would I go back ? Like I want a root canal.
Very true! Definitely had a “so called” friend who is one. Scary thing is, I know several.
And parents too ...
Omg, this was so accurate it was scary! Never go back for a second chance with a narcissist, they make you PAY!
I think that it was brilliant to show the actual thoughts a narcissist might have in their head about a situation. It gives insight to the average person, like myself, that these people don't follow the same moral path as a healthy individual.
She contacted me after 4 months of no contact. My narcissist ex, a woman, sent an amazing text. "I don't want to trouble you, but I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you. Is there someway we can talk."
I fell for this. She said all the right things, said she wanted to take things slow. (Although asked me to stay and make love to her. I failed there too.) Two days later turned it around and said she wanted to see me, but didn't think I wanted to "jump right back in." She said she wanted to date me, but date other men as well. Insane! After 2 1/2 years together I am supposed to share her with other men so she can keep all her options open. Fucking insane!
Right back to absolutely no contact.
Mitchell My ex is a classic narc!! Boy, did I finally come to my senses and do what was best for me. I started passing rumors to my ex's acquaintances and co-workers that my ex was a junkie and a loser. Then I boiled my ex's pet bunny rabbit in a saucepan... very slowly!! You should have seen the expression on my ex's face when they came home - I secretly observed the show with a hidden camera device!! Absolutely amazing. I then got my ex fired from their job!... Next, I found out who my ex was dating and secretly followed that person to find out all sorts of info. I'm now using it against the BOTH of them. Now, whenever my ex tries to come back to me, I ignore the voicemails and texts and sit their hysterically laughing while they grovel in self-pity, begging me to return!
Then, I pretend I'm gonna return...and bingo! I dump my ex like a hot potato for the dozenth time! Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! I love it, it's great fun!
Mitchell JUST KIDDING!! Got ya, huh?
lol yes that's a perfect example of one of their " stunts" 😈 is what they are
She wanted you to come back so she could dump you. She had to her revenge because how dare you not acknowledge her. How DARE you ignore her and not reach out.
You should have replied, "yes, through a medium" haha!!!!
They may be a bit obsessed with "gaming you" for their feed -
But the point is, they never miss the person, may miss perks - financial, connections, ego-benefits -
They DO NOT HAVE EMPATHY OR EMOTIONAL FEELINGS FOR ANYONE BUT SELF!
Beth Bartlett : very true
Was about to break No Contact before seeing this. Thanks Kim; you're doing great work.
If you've truly gone "No Contact," why would you even ask this question? Why do you care if he misses you or not? If that's your concern after going "No Contact," then you haven't fully detached yet. You may have gone "No Contact" externally, but internally you are still connected to him/her. The most important thing after realizing you've been involved with a narcissist is to understand the role you played -- your co-dependency, so that you don't do it again, and so that you don't get involved with another narcissist. Stop putting your energy into trying to understand the other person, and put that energy into understanding yourself.
nnnnnnnnnnn
what's wrong with me? low self-esteem. ..because I miss him and want him back..after he discarded me.
Good advice. It is often easier to blame the other person instead of taking a long hard look at your own behaviours and way of being that creates many of your problems and then doing something about changing your own behaviours. It is by changing ourselves that we get the power needed to force others to change the way they interact with us. If our new altered behaviour no longer makes it easy for them to use,abuse and exploit us, the Narcissist and such types needs to look elsewhere for their next soft target and they go for the easy ones. These abound in the female gender,though some males are pretty soft and easy targets for female Narcissists,too and complain about being victims of evil women who used them and dumped them. Fact is they exposed themselves for easy exploitation by effectively saying,via body language etc "Here I am. Right for the plucking. Heaps of money. Good looking. Good body. Good job. Heaps of girls keen to snap me up. Come and get me while I'm still hot... I need to be loved..." They are magnets to Narcissistic women eg on dating sites, in trendy clubs that only certain types frequent etc.
in my case, the narcissist i had to detach from was my sister. i cannot be expected to not wonder if the person i helped raise and loved for all her life missed me. i can, however, learn to not let it get the best of me and i can move on. a person that loves does not simply "shut it off" because it is not reciprocated, but we can control how it affects our lives
So sorry am praying for you
@@carlamarlene2927 absolutely
Narcissistic is the baddest personality disorder I've ever heard.wish I never will meet one.ewh
:"( I hate how true this is... he only ever thought of himself, for his own gain.. yet I still lay here missing him, but for what.. he never respected me. He doesn't even miss me after everything I've done for him. This truly hurts. Make it stop
Tuncs Apoo I can't sleep all I do is think of him . I still Love him so much . The pain seems like it won't end unless we are together. 😢
Hate the feeling...cant wait to get out of this relationship for good
Me too.. he just care about him only..
Update: give time some time 😊
forgot I even posted this.
I had just broken up with him and found he already got another gf 2-3weeks after, so this post came from a place of pure heartache and betrayal. I broke up with him because he was truly selfish and couldn't see the forest for through the trees - best, decision, ever.
If you keep trying and trying, and you're left with an unsatisfactory result because you're making all the efforts, do yourself a favour. Life is hard enough and sometimes it's the company that you surround yourself with that makes life harder, cut those ties. ✂️😊
I'm the happiest I've ever been and found a long life partner. I truly hope the same for you all ❤️
It will stop..believe me when you know how disordered they are..no contact is best as you cannot 'save' anyone never mind someone is so disordered...no matter how much you love them..you cannot live with them or you'll only be existing...the feeling of freedom comes eventually and like any other you can become ambivalent to them eventually....I heard an amazing line..you cannot ever trust another the same, only have the courage to know you can cope if or when they break it...even the nicest sincerest people lie at times..have flaws...break trust...trust that you want healthier aspirations for yourself..our own minds should not be tortured by ourselves never mind from another🤩
*Reads the title*
My answer: yes, because they miss all the benefits they had from using you, like the friendships they stole through you, the events surrounding those “friendships”, the great PR and Facebook friends they get from just being around you and these friendships, but most importantly they miss receiving the power/ego boost that comes from and mistreating people whom they believe they are inferior to bc they feel start to feel superior from it, like an exchange of energies.
But do they miss you as a person and the friendship or relationship, memories you’ve had together? No. Just the benefits that come from it.
Living well is the best revenge and for a narcissist it kills them
All you can do is live your own life without the narc sucking your energy.
My narcissist told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then a few weeks later I reminded him of what he told me after a small argument. He asked me did I really believe him when he said that. He said I lied to you and called me an idiot. I said thank you and haven’t looked back. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. What I had to do was take the focus off of him and take a real good look at why I attracted this type of person and why was I attracted to an emotional unavailable person. I take responsibility for my choices. I don’t choose that from anyone anymore. Great lesson learned.
They miss the narcissistic supply you give them. They aren’t capable of caring for you as a person but they miss whatever it is you’re giving them.
How can a narc miss anyone when he has no idea what is missing?????
Lol
He He He.. They always act like its a man that does this!! My ex GIRLFRIEND Was exactly this!!! Dropped me like a rock and jumped in bed with the guy she had been texting for 7 months behind my back.. actually I dumped her when I followed her to his place.. Oh but he was "just a friend.." Yeah right.. Shes got him in her bed every night now. Damn what a wasted two years of my life with HER! WOMEN CAN BE NARCISSIST TOO!!
James Nelson mine too! I spent 2 years with this psycho until she gave herself away. She used religion as a mask and so many ppl thinks she’s kind but she’s a straight up demon. She got so mad when I found out she had been cheating on me. I found out after our breakup which was nothing more than her discarding me for a season until she got tired of the new supply as I being an empath was grade A. She was hoping I’d wait a few months before coming back but my instincts kicked in and she got so mad she lied about our relationship, took fake pictures of my car in hopes of costing me a job. It’s been 2 years since yesterday and I haven’t heard from her. Funny thing is, when I looked back at old pics of her, I can see that demon in her. I moved so if she has tried to return she has no clue where I live
i told my husband the same thing just this morning about this video. but recall that she was describing a scenario, and the narcissist was a man. my husbands exwife was everything described in this video. keep ur head up buddy, it isnt always like that
wouldnt it mean that she isnt a narcisist if it works out with the other person and not with u?
James Nelson indeed yes your right! Narcissism is in both men and women.. if you really surf you will find tons of men talking about women narcs and also women talking about being narcs. It’s out there you just have to look...
@@lolsucks3599 no. As anyone who knows a narc will tell you, they fool you into thinking they're good and interesting. They earn your trust quickly, then crush you. Some ppl will stay with a narc, doesn't change the fact they are one. I was raised by a narc mother, and my codependent father is still with her even after she cheated on him with his best friend for 2 years, then later, cheated on him with a cop for 5 years. This got them seperated for 2 years, but my codependent father was sucked back in. Dealing with a narc is insanely complex.
Oh my I can't believe how stop on this is...I never knew there were people out there like this I thought I was going insane. it hurt to think this happens to so many. I feel I can never trust again and I don't want to have my life stollen away from me again or be taped. .It's been 5 months no contact...but he did seek a message through email as I forgot about bloking that one. I totally ignored it...I hope he never finds a way to contact me again. ever. I'm so messed up after this relationship that I tried to get out of so many time...now I have the knowledge. but dam...I'm still in shock...my are there so many people like this.
T Jade it's gonna be okay ! We learn from it and move on ! ! Hope you doing better now
I notice that it's Capitalism: TV, religion, politics...uh, TV. Bottom lines have no restrictions. Even a multi-billion dollar corporation gets to pay workers a "minimum wage."
This style of society is what i think ive noticed to be encouraging this "cluster B psychology"
Pizznad unfortunately i just realized that is the only type i attract. so if I am attracted to them and they are attracted to me I know they are the wrong person . that's really messed up. I'm happy I know it now but I'm not happy what's the way that I am
Pizznad I attracted some guys at a club tonight, they all seemed desperate and odd or creepy downright almost serial killer. Must be the way I dance 😕😀
T Jade IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME TOO ABOUT WHAT NARCS WERE DID RESEARCH AND THERE IT WAS HES BEHAVIOR AND THERE TACTICS SO NOW STAY NO CONTACT AND STRONGER NOW AND AT PEACE STAY AWAY FROM THESE VAMPIRE DEMONS !!!
I learned first-hand that it is LITERALLY nothing personal, because you are not a person to them. You are an ego-candy vending machine. When you try to go "no contact", the machine (you) stopped working, they get frustrated and try to kick it a few times to get it working again. When it doesn't, they move on to find another. They might return later another time or two to see if the machine magically works again, but they eventually realize the machine is permanently out of order, and they give up and finally disappear forever.
I recently just broke up with someone like this and the emotional damage was really messed up ! he manipulated me i was so stressed and i'm glad that i broke all contact with him ! it was all an illusion im happy i had the chance to expose him and tell him that he was a '' Narcissist'' . he had anger problems and loved to hurt people smh
Enheritance Derrico I just broke up with one too. I have ups and downs. I miss the good times.
One thing not mentioned in reference to narcs is that they'll often show up when you're going through some hellish experience (like the death of a loved one) to feed off your pain and suffering and to gloat over your loss. They'll pretend to be "sympathetic and supportive" but that's just a mask they wear. They're so horribly jealous of what you have or had with the loved one that your losing that person thrills them and they take great delight in it. They're sick in the head in ways most people can't even imagine.
You've met my son's wife😂
I escaped 1 full year ago, he must've read your book or something because he followed this step by step. So glad I stuck to not responding and no contact, I'm certain he would've killed me eventually.
Amanda Heule ..so glad you went no contact ..prayers and blessings your way
+Mandy Heule They all work in exactly the same ways - it is just how they function - just don't let another one in again. Because whilst they are minority of population they really get around and are always searching for new people that are kind and empathetic, as they make they best prey.
faithful one thank you! 😊
Mandy, you did and are doing the right thing. I am on the guy end of this trying to keep the woman away and it's hard, but I've done it. Stay strong.
You must be fucking stupid Mandy Heule, didn't you listen to what was said? THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL DO! They don't need to 'read the book' - you stupid thick fuck - thats what THEY ARE - it's the nature of the beast. I bet he's glad you fucked off you must've bored him shitless
it's awful that we desperately want to know if they miss us. they treat us so bad and we finally get the courage to leave and we still want to know. it's crazy how even after everything we still want that approval we were good enough to be missed.
Trauma bond
This is exactly and simplicity put. This how it is...you will feel like a fool. STAY NO CONTACT!
I was raised by one of these misfits and she raised my older sister to be her partner in crime against my brother and I who were both very easy going, genuinely loved our family, easy pickins' for people like them. My father was the easy going, quick to forgive type too. I have had all kinds of friendships, relationships, employers with this same personality type my whole life. I just didn't know that I truly deserved better. I honestly thought that being a nice person was enough. But now I see that I've been projecting my good qualities onto a whole lot of people who don't have them as part of their moral character (or lack of). These videos rang so true that I will not ever just assume anyone shares my values ever again. I will protect myself going forward.
Who cares- thank God their gone🎊🎉🎈 One year for me and never been happier😁
LESSA GROWTH if you dnt care n its been over a year why are you here..your the narc..lmao
Dionne why the hate let people tell their stories respect
Carolella Much Well stated. ✨👌🏽✨😘
They put a scar in your ass; that's the story. I really haven't been able to chat-up people like I used to, back when I used to jump in the sack with whoever said "Yes" which was nearly everyone. Back then I didn't think game existed; now it's all I'm looking for ("game" and "peace" are never seen together that much I've learned).
LESSA GROWTH omg good for you!! I cant wait to say its been a year!!!!
Love it 😊 took me 3 years to recover and it mentally broke me. Pls leave and stay gone and recover xx with love 💖 from the uk 🇬🇧 this is my ex husband to a T
my ex would hate when i would ignore him after he hurt me . he was crazy! and wanted control. i'm so glad i figured him out ! and told him he was a narcissist and needed help. he didn't know how to treat a women.
Enheritance Derrico same here, he threw temper tantrums when he didn’t get his way or when I didn’t pay attention to him.
They can ignore you but hate when you do it to them 🤣
*They ONLY MISS*
*What we USE TO*
*DO for them*
scarily not just true of my most recent ex... they all have the same traits. i need to fix whatevers going on in me that attracts these types
tess dunkley you are empathetic and that is a great quality to have. Dont let a narc change you. What you need to do is learn their ways so you can detect them and cut them off when u recognize who they are. Good luck.
tess dunkley me 2 i draw all types of crazies
Check out Ross Rosenberg’s videos. I attract them too. Narcissists and codependent people are like two damaged magnets that attract each other.
tess dunkley look at your mom and dad....thats where most answers will come from😐
Share a few tips on how to figure them out early, please! How to decipher basic early friendship respect and bonding from love bombing would be nice.
it's kinda hard to have a "no contact" when there are children involved
Very hard! No matter how we try to keep things limited to the kids, they always weasel in the opportunity to talk to us about personal feelings/emotions. So sickening! Smh 😾
My issus exactly we need a video on this issus
So true so true
Keep it low contact and stay all business
I’m wrapping up my dads estate and some communication necessary. I’ve limited it to email and stick to facts.
I work with mine :(
I'm starting to remember the abuse, always calling me paranoid and saying I was going crazy. It all is making sense now.
They miss your things that they were never used to . Thank you 💜
I find it interesting that nearly every example of a narcissist is male. I'm sure research shows that a very high percentage of narcissists are men, but after divorcing my narcissistic wife of >19 years in Oct, I assure you that the women are no walk in the park. If you're married to a narcissist my hat is off to you b/c I know exactly what you're going through.
Ronny Cee i know you felling bro it ain't easy
Maybe women are more apt to talk about their experience. So it appears to be more of a "man thing". ?
Narcissist daughter, no contact is best, sad but has to be...
The lies they tell and the secrets they keep. Brilliant, love it!!!!
I don't think my ex narc cares enough that im doing a no contact by blocking him.
Kash Krazi Right. Me neither
Kash Krazi was that supposed to be funny? If it was.props to you, your so sarcastic (like me) people think we're serious.I lololol'd!!! ohh crap.
Kash Krazi don't be fooled he's waiting for the right moment to come back in!
Tricia Marie Lol you are speaking the truth! He has contacted me a few times since last week!
I hope you stay no contact because if you give any emotional response they can sneak right back in every time
Put this on repeat !!!!! And stay the F “ away from them ... Block them !!!
You are worthy of real relationship!!!
They must miss something you give them or they wouldn't Hoover, but I don't think they miss you on an emotional level at all, at least most of them-depending on how severe it is some of them might miss you, but the key point is the lack of emotional empathy... that’s the saddest hardest part.
Joseph Goudreau
all these years on and off, I couldn't understand why it felt so empty and I attributed it to emotional unavailability, and control issues, having to be the man of the house.
My mother largely missed being able to emotinally unload on us. Once she found a massive enabler, she dumped all three of us...including my brother in his last months of life. And yet somehow she tried to turn his funeral into the mom show. And then thought she could pull that and then get me to hate his widow for 'not being nice enough, and that was the only reason why she never visited'.
Ugh. She really is a bad person.
They just miss the control they had over you.Then moves on to find another vulnerable prey to torment and control.
Sorry about that Dembai. Realizing that someone one used to put on a pedestal is just a person with insect emotions and thus primordial motives leading to the disregard of respect makes one feel empty inside but then comes the rush of joy from realizing that one is not like that.
They miss somebody to aggravate!
Its never your fault getting away is your best option, its harder when your truly in love with the girl but know that there is something wrong, leaving will allow u to be set free. Otherwise stay and continue getting played, but know this life is has many lessons to teach u all. I learned, Moved out, now im happy try it
Mne aem until jrur6 temne aappo be divasma te bthu hu mervi lya bas tem nkaro ok
No. As long as they have another source, they don't. It's only when they inevitably lose that source that they try to contact you again. Then they are looking for easy prey and think that if they say the right things, you'll be putty in their hands again.
Since I discovered that what I was dealing with are "Narcissists", I've learned to keep VERY FIRM, HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
I don't make myself available - even when I have no plans. MY peace and well-being is paramount.
I don't praise the Narcissists (seriously, for what?) as they espouse their "amazing feats".
I don't avail my time, energy, or expertise to the Narcissists' benefit. (Example: I was TOLD by a Narcissist to do the immense research and paperwork for a property he is interested in purchasing.
In the past, I poured every ounce of energy into making the Narcissists' lives better.
Finally, when this came up, I said, "No. Not my purchase. Not my responsibility. If you want it, you'll make it a priority and put forth the effort, as you do (wasteful) archery competitions - like you did when you listened to someone else tell you to buy a book (this guy NEVER reads - ALWAYS said, "Reading is so boring!"), read it, and learn.
Then you went online, found it, ordered it, read it, called me to tell me how you read a 190+ page book in just 2 days, learned so much, and improved (even though he did NOT podium in his last tournament...the first or second after reading a book that, literally said everything I ever suggested in the past 10 years). So I know YOU are capable of handling YOUR OWN ISSUES."
His retort: "You're so jealous I read a book - get over YOURSELF!" (Uh-huh... Someone call the Narcissist a paddy-wagon. LOL)
I didn't rise to his outlandish and STUPID snark. I just shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and said, "I LOVE reading - always have. Never heard of anyone being 'jealous' because YOU 'read a 190+ paged book.' In any case, I'm NOT doing it. YOUR purchase, YOUR responsibility."
When he dropped me off at my place, he said, "Don't forget to take the paperwork with you."
Again, I smiled and said, "No."
He said, "You said, 'You need these papers.' So now you won't fill them out - are you shitting me!?"
I confirmed that I did indeed state TO HIM, "These are the papers YOU'LL need to start the purchase. I'll put them in YOUR truck for YOU to take to the broker of YOUR choice, etc."
Then I said, "I am NOT doing this for YOU, again. I am NOT going to advise YOU, again. I am NOT helping YOU to make me YOUR slave and scapegoat, again."
He then snapped, "FINE, then I WON'T BUY IT!"
I smiled and said, "YOUR life, YOUR choice.
I have my own place. I don't live with my parents at the age of 51. I know how to buy, manage, and sell property. I choose to NOT do it FOR YOU." That ended the conversation.)
I don't believe or trust a single word Narcissists say - it's ALL LIES.
I have begun to make new acquaintances and gone out to events that I enjoy. I have learned to love myself once more.
Breaking away was HARD. It felt very much the way an addictive medication withdrawal has been described. I spent more than a year away from this particular Narcissist; even moved thousands of miles away.
Events that have NOTHING to do with this Narcissist brought me back to the area. I believe GOD has His reasons.
...maybe to show the Narcissists, here, that my leaving was not about loss for me, but personal and spiritual growth...
...maybe to show there IS a very real, powerful, loving GOD; and His Love - which will NEVER be a part of a Narcissist's character - is all we need...
I feel stronger, much more peaceful, relaxed, content with MY choices FOR MYSELF.
I pray all victims and survivors of the abusive beasts called "Narcissists", will find the strength through GOD to get away, heal, grow, and blossom into persons who find Love in Jesus, and trust GOD will NEVER pair you with such evils - WE made that mistake. BLESSEDLY, WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY AND SUFFER. LEAVE. GET OUT. GET AWAY.
Prayers for all. GOD bless!
All of this is spot on. That said, the getting over this is excruciating, at times.
It doesn't always have to be a lover it can be a friend or worse family member
I fell for it 3 times. Now, 4 yrs later, I'm still stuck in the same exact mess.
I fell for the hoovering last spring AND this spring. This year she even went to counseling for 5 months with me and then...wash , rinse, repeat. Heart= shattered
Chad Kent Sorry bro. You are not alone. I just went through the same thing with my estranged wife. It hurts so bad.
Chad Kent wash, rinse , repeat. I know it's not funny but it made me laugh. I like that.
Ya it's brutal😣
Thanks. I found this most helpful. I have initiated no contact, but it is very hard to maintain. I watch videos like this several times a day to keep up my will power. Leaving a narcissist is not unlike quitting smoking. We find it impossible to leave something/someone we know is very bad for us.
Wasted 5.5 years of my life with a narcissist widow with 3 kids. Money can be made up again, my time and emotions wasted are priceless. She never appreciated anything.
They don’t really want you back,they just want to stop the pain you caused them by leaving their sorry ass.
I used to cry all the time over this idiot I have had a lot of time to heal I still am I don't feel the same about him where i once saw a prince I now see a frog. At times I feel jealousy that he has other woman but then I remind my self how he treated me and I feel sorry for his new love and him really . It's time to concentrate on my self now it's all about me and my daughter 😊 time really does heal I'm almost thru the other side I'm starting to get to love my own company and do things wen I like I have no one controlling my every move I can relax around my daughter i dont have to hear that I'm a bad mother and I'm the worste. Thank you god for taking me me away from this person and out of the bubble I was in. The wound is healing well but it hasn't form the scar as yet almost there.💪💪💪
lovely smile
wow..I sill cry over him.💔 but I could have written exactly what you did...right down to my daughter and critical of my mothering, my family. he had me doubt everything about myself and since last Aug when he discarded me by text!! I'm still down and doubting myself. 😢
After 2.5yrs of complete no contact my ex narc gf sent me an email through her aunt's work email. I had blocked every social media and email contact relation to her prior. i did not open the attachment that said invite to open. I was the best supply she ever had. She will search the rest of her miserable life seeking for and never finding what she had with me. That has been my peace of mind.
This latest email address is now blocked as well. So long narc!
Call me sadistic but after what my narc ex fiancé did to me I like to watch him suffer by cutting his supply ^.^ the things he does to get me back in his sad life only makes me smile. I'm enjoying the fact that he can't find a new supplier that I'm his only hope for a good high and he can't have it ever again. Who's in charge now?
Kayleigh, How did you do it? he bombarded me with love at first and sucked all the attention out of me then started backing away and left me wondering why! I innocently spoke to him a few times about it and he gave me BS reasons like he was busy and made it seem as if I was the crazy one. Once I read about his personality disorder it all made perfect sense.. so I gradually cut off his supply and now I'm completely ignoring him. He is freaking out cause the tables have turned and has been hoovering.. He sent me a "How is your day?" text, which I ignored and since then he's been watching and waiting for me to break no contact I know he is really bothered right now. I am giving it time to see if breaks and tries to get my attention again but if he does give in, how can I manipulate from there?
He said his ex "used" him for his money and didn't love him and that he was the one always after her.(she must have been real good at his game). So how can I get to that level? :) Thanks
You should not want to be participating any longer! To be truly good at the game, you walk away and do NOT look back!
same scenario happened here too.
Kayleigh Hay 😅😅😅😅😅
*ABSOLUTELY*
*LOVE IT*
*HE WILL LOOK FOR ME*
*IN MANY*
*BUT*
*HE WILL NEVER*
*FIND ME*
*PERIOD*
true they don't miss you
They ONLY miss the NEED of u...
Supplying their WANTS....
They don't feel anything.👎
I have been married to a Narc for 56 years. I married at 18,5 yrs old. He was 31 (said he was 27.). After these decades of emotional and psychological abuse, it was turning physical, and I went to the Police. First time - warning. Second time, Court case. He was expelled from our flat and no contact was ordered by the Judge. I am free! He is now 88 yrs old and I am 75. He flew with our Daughter-in-Law to London to live with our Son's lovely family.
I survived these decades with the Joy and Strength of God Almighty, my Redeemer.
Hughena da Silva , 56 years of suffering 😭, you 're a strong woman ❤️
I haven't talked to my narc mom in almost 3 years. She has never tried talking to me, so the answer is HELL no.
Denise ...22 years here. The only time they "feel"anything is embarrassment when people ask them why all three of their children haven't seen them in decades.....and believe me, their friends and acquaintances figure out that spells something very wrong.
It's been almost 8 months for me 😊😊😊
Murphy Star for me too
Murphy Star you go 😊
25 years for me and still healing...
me too
spidey web that's comforting in a sick way. It's been about 10 years for me and I'm happily married to someone healthy, with two kids yet here I am reading up on narcissism, still trying to understand and heal. I've mentally beaten myself up over how long this process has taken for me. Glad to know I'm not alone. Hugs
I saw signs of this with someone I was talking to I ended it immediately never met him ! He was mad and his true colours showed when I shut him down, he made me feel like I was stupid and wrong ! My come back to him was I'm sorry you feel that way, he did not like that lol He was the walking textbook of a narcissist !
I hate when they feel like as if you “NEED THEM” and feel as if you can’t go on with life without them.
And they actually say to you,”YOU NEED ME!”
Ugh! Sir I really don’t.........
I got away from mine. And it feels amazing. It took sometime and his multiple attempts to go through my family members to get to me, last attempt 2 months ago. To me he just looks so stupid and I broke free and trust me it wasn't easy at all, but healing from that abusive situation than putting myself back into the cycle of abuse, that is much more painful than the healing process. Time and patience and the more time you allow yourself to have away from your abuser the easy it gets and your confidence increases to the point where you can see through all the lies. You are worth more not matter what the abuser says and yes you will find love again. I am still learning to love me more and more each day 2 years later I am still single and I am OK with that. Because the love you learn to feel for yourself is greater than the love a narcissist will will provide.
How are you doing now Jami ? Update please
When I would not break the no contact my narcissist came after me. He seduced me and promised to change. He is the same if not worse.
*THEY NEVER EVER*
*CHANGE*
*TRUST and BELIEVE*
*BEEN THERE*
*TWICE*
*They only get WORSE*
I Finally got Rid of my NARCISSIST and I don't want to hear anything from him you are very correct on every POINT! It was all about HIM
I HAVE CLOSED EVERY DOOR AND ENTRY IN MY LIFE . AND IM NOT LOOKING. BACK
Narcissism is about attention deficit and is not personal. So a Narc will simply find another target for their fix.
anyone ever get the I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU text ??? RUN !!!!!!!!!! LOL
yup! when they try to use suicide against you and try to self harm themselves to get you to stay.. forget running....SPRINT MY CHILD *SPRIIIIIINNNNTTT*
Oh my god...I didn't know...I didn't know. Thank God I know now....14 years may be gone but at least its not 24, 34 or 44 years down the damn drain! Thank you for sharing this!
33ladyRAM 12 years of chaos for me. it' made me lose myself
14 years for me as well, it has been a ride to hell & back. I’m no contact now but it’s very hard when you have children with the demons 🤦♀️
I feel you. I'm 14 years in and I just now understand why my husband can't have real sexual experience with me as his wife. I so get it now
Wow. Can't believe the accuracy. All I can do is shake my head.
They miss the convenient of using you. My narc have 3 slave girls over in Phillipines and 2 slave girls in California. After I left him, he go back to those old supply and he get bore and he will start hoovering you. Yes, they miss you but for the wrong reasons.
Molly Cookie i
Molly Cookie
Molly Cookie it was very good. i was married. to one its all so true
Molly Cookie sexnb
Molly Cookie Q
These videos are saving my life. Hes actually the one not contacting me, but i'm starting to see the blessing in it.
Its like being in recovery. There should be a support group for the aftermath of being with a Narc
This is So right ! It hurts so much to be discarded like trash. But I'm Not trash. I'm good. I am. Really.
This video only refers to the over narcissists, ignoring the covert type. I married a covert that 'worshipped' and later discarded me after 22 years. Shy, insecure and a wallflower, I was his passport into any social situation and, now that he is alone he lives like a hermit and only for his work. We are still in limited contact via IM as we have to finish negociating the divorce and sell the family home, plus we have children in common, but neither he or I have ever initiated any other form of contact in 5 years. I would never expect him to come back with flowers or begging for a reconciliation, either... People tell me that if he saw me now (upbeat, happy, slim and depression free) he would want to return, but I reply that some people are better kept at a distance.
Dulce R.-W. I had no idea abt these two types of narcs, will look for more info abt it. Thanks for the info and glad that you are out of there!!! I just escaped from one dew weeks ago..
why do you say that, Felipe??
My mother hovers between overt and covert (based largely on results), I think the difference has everything to do with what they need in the moment. Covert narcs just need enablers (as other matters are fine, they get to be the victim which gets lots of attention). The only time they seek you out is if they really need something from you and can't get it anywhere else.
I'd expect my mother to come out of the woodwork when her overt nhusband gets tired of her. It'll be a cold day in hell before I listen to her, though. And she knows it.
Oh so true!!! They never change, stay strong!! Trust me if you break no contact just to see you will quickly regret it
I’ve been out for two years guys! I’m in a healthy relationship and never been better. I knownit may not feel like it right now but it gets better .
i did no contact - then they contacted me and devalued and discarded me, felt emotionally vulnerable and worthless, be strong and when they contact you ignore! they will get revenge on you so ignore and move on! You will feel liberated and happy
I don't care and don't want them to miss me because I don't want them coming back!
Never heard of Hoovering until I found Ms. Saeed. Wow. That’s exactly what my narc father inlaw tries to do to me. Over and over and over again he’s used this tactic on me in the 33 years I’ve been married. Wow. Thanks so much!
Thanks for the video!! I was in a really bad relationship with a narc a couple years ago... it messed me up so bad.. I haven’t been in a lasting relationship since. One of these days I’m going to get back out in the dating world.. my biological clock is ticking :(
Scarily, they are ready with their new supplies and being no contact from us is also an extra spice to add up to attract the new supply by empathy
I have reversed it on a narcissist and played them back. Caught them with all the lame lying excuses and used it too. They hated it!!! She had undercover guys with her which I caught her hiding them.. I did the same with women but didn’t hide them... it was a bunch of games.. and if your not smart or strong would drain you if you let it... after all the merry go round I totally cut everything off... even associated people.. the best thing ever... here’s a BIG tip always always always cut off ANY ties to old Girlfriends or boyfriends!!! It’s not fair to you or to the next person your with...