I made an elaborate plan that took over a month to execute when I left my ex husband. I hid a suitcase and clothes at a friend’s house. I got a PO Box at the post office to conceal important documents. I sold family heirloom jewelry to have enough money to survive on. Then I told him I was going to work (I wasn’t) and went to the airport and left on a plane. You can leave! A much happier life is out there waiting for you!
I asked my parents to buy me a ticket home and they did without asking any questions. I packed a suitcase I used for winter clothes so he wouldn't suspect anything. Wiped all personal data on my devices, cleaned the apartment and left in the middle of the night. My friend picked me up and took me to the airport the next day. I've never looked back.
As a survivor of domestic abuse the best thing she can do is not tell him she is leaving because that makes them go crazy and violent. You plan an exit you get help to leave when he is out of the house and you leave.
I agree, say nothing and get out. Who cares about a sofa, or other items...that kind of baggage can always be replaced...just take your necessities and GO-GO-GO!
I agree with this. I packed a few items while he was at work. He sent me a message asking if I was going to start doing what I was supposed to do like making dinner and sex. I sent back not coming. That weekend my 3 boys plus a Sheriff met me there to help get my things. The Sheriff asked if I would be ok if he left and he looked at my ex. He said he would leave me alone. He was furious with me for asking the Sheriff to come but my middle son was a Deputy sheriff at that time and he wasn't willing to take the chance. I don't know if that helps but that's how I handled it. I wish you the best!! ❤❤
@@jaybur21 Did YOU listen to the part of the call where she said he threatened to SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD!! Or did you skip over that part?? Help me understand how you consider that "not abusive"? REAL MEN DO NOT ABUSE WOMEN!
Indeed yes, this is 100% true. Never meet up with one after the break up, not even 'to talk'. Not even in a public place. A woman in Australia a few years ago thought she would be safe by meeting him at a McDonalds in the morning. He just shot her in front of all the staff. The thing is, they wait for their time for the revenge. Never ever trust them.
Broke Up With My Other Half After 15 Years. Never Told Him I Was Leaving. Blocked Him On The Phone. Seen Him 4 Months Later, He Told Me I Thought We Were Friends, Asked Me What Did He Do Wrong Or If I Had Another Man. Then Asked Me To Get In The Car, He Wanted To Talk. I Told Him No I Was Cool. He Pulled Off. Called Me From A Different Number And Offered Me Some Money, To Have Sex With Me, Blocked That Number Too. He Used To Always Put Me Down And Was Rough With Me Doing Sex. He Blamed Me For His Impotent, Telling Me It Was My Fault He Couldn't Get A Rise, And He Had Another Woman That Could Satisfy Him. So That was The End. Go Be With Her, I Am Gone FOREVER
My best friend was shot to death by her fiancé when she was trying to leave. Her bags were packed and he shot her in the face. Do not tell him you are leaving. Wait until he goes to work and have cops and friends move you out in one day. She never thought that would happen to her but she’s gone now.
I had two armed men on the front porch in case he came home early from work and some friends that helped me get all my belongings out in a couple hours. I had to live in someones garage after that for awhile but it was so worth it.
@futurefunk88eddins96 Yes! It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Like the caller, he would "joke" that no one would find my body in the woods that backed up to our house. Unlike the caller, he was abusive in every way possible. I had major ptsd afterwards and I thought he would come after me but thankfully he didn't. I'm in a good place now.
Once I realized that my ex was going to be hostile upon leaving, I got a storage unit and slowly put belongings in there while he was at work. It took a long time to gain my freedom due to financial abuse as well. Don’t tell him your plans upfront and make your move! Sending support and love.
1. If you're leaving. Do NOT TELL HIM. The most dangerous time in this sort of situation is when the woman tries to leave. 2. Read #1 3. Look for a place to go to immediately. Somewhere where he doesnt know where it is, with people you know wont give up your location. 3. Get help from the sheriff, local DV groups.
She's not leaving. At least not yet. She's got too many excuses why she can't, all targeted to regulating his behavior, and hasn't even gotten a basic plan together. I've seen this too many times before. I hope she makes it out eventually for the sake of her and her child, but this is where you back off. Let her know you're there for her, and no longer discuss him with her.
It's only dangerous if you have no control and no protection bc you're by yourself. Come up there with armed officers and let's see how "scary" the little coward is lol. If he even tries to get aggressive or threatens her, the officers will arrest him or possibly shoot him if her life is threatened. I say don't sneak off- call the police and have them right there with you to show that little punk who's boss now.
That would piss him off for sure. The police can't be there all the time. Idk..seems provocative. For a nutcase with a big memor, that's not good..@@GameChanger597
PLEASE Rachel take Dr. John’s advice. He is exactly right. I’m so sorry. You need to protect yourself before he kills you - he WILL if you allow him the chance. I know it’s a shock.
Something most people don't understand about Intimate Partner Violence is that it never starts out that way. In the beginning, the abuser is like the hero of a fairytale.
My mom took me at age 5 and my brother who was 1 and left our dad while he was deployed out of the country. That is literally the only way to leave an abuser. You do not give them warning. You just leave silently. Good thing they are not married. I don’t know if any kids are involved, but the same rules apply and you deal with system and explain your side with proof.
People who used this call to discuss their beliefs and harp on the fact she isn't married must not have heard just how many wives die at the hands of their husbands. Marriage does not protect from conjugal violence.
Why do you care more about his feelings than your life?!?! Do not tell him you are leaving. Disappear (new place, new job, off social media). Disappear for at least a year. Bc breaking up is when abusers kill. He WILL kill you. Do not stay at parents bc he will find you (and maybe kill them, too). DISAPPEAR
yeah, going back to parents house doesn't seem wise at all. they've been together for 10 years, he's def been to her parents house and knows she will run there. Also, does sound so bizzare to hear her want to do an elaborate move, just grab the important stuff and run. it's insane to hear her talk
It's generally two years for the threat from most abusers to subside. Mostly it does kick off within the first six months of leaving, the biggest danger time. For a few women though, they will never be safe. However, it is often hard to predict which ones are the lifelong threats.
My husband hadn't threatened me but i just didn't know what he could do, how far he would go if i told him. So it took a year to plan, accommodation, finance etc and left with 3 kids without telling him. Expect the worse even if you feel you are over reacting
She’s in incredible danger already and it increases when she leaves. But she does need to leave immediately! Good for John for always giving it direct and with care.
When he talks about specificity it is very important. I have been in an emotionally unstable relationship and at my worst I would never say words like that out of anger. That has to be him revealing something about himself to be able to speak like that. When people openly tell you their bad behavior or traits, take them at face value why would they say it otherwise.
@@samanthaquant7411 Most definitely with a plan. They don't lose their sh*t until they think you are leaving, so if you behave like normal, it buys time to get out smartly.
My husband and I have been together for 28 years and have gone through a couple of rough patches, but we have never, ever threatened violence towards each other. This guy has made a pretty specific threat and has access to firearms. Planning an escape and involving the police seems the safest way to me. Not only is she protecting herself, but she may also be protecting him in a way from doing something terrible. I can tell she has feelings for him still which are getting in the way here.
I was in a situation like this. I left in the middle of the night with no warning. I only packed my essentials that couldn't be replaced. Went no-contact and never spoke to him again. It has been 6 years and I will never look back.
It's physical because any threat to your life creates a physiological response in the physical body - it creates the same physical response as a slap or punch would. This is why muggers get what they want without having to do physical harm - the threat is enough.
Only part I disagree with is about telling him ahead of time. Absolutely do not do that, especially since the threat was directly linked to her leaving him
09:00 Oh no Delony, don't tell her to pre-warn him like that! You did well up until that point. You NEVER tell an abuser you are leaving, NEVER, particularly one that has threatened to put a bullet in your head. That is Risk Assessment 101. It does not matter that he has not been physically abusive before, threats to kill are abuse, and to be taken seriously. I could hear the tremble (and suppressed terror) in her voice right from the start. I do hope she got out safely.
As someone who has dealt with someone like this...just show up with officers and get your stuff. Do NOT give him any insight into what you're going to do. This mistake has cost women their lives. Every moment counts. Just go!
Years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and after 2 years I decided to leave. I sent him out to a local hangout and while he was out I contacted the police and they instructed me to pack a quick suitcase and me me and I followed them to a safe location, which had to remain totally secret for other women in that safe place. Contacting the police and letting them know that your life is in danger is most important. My circumstances turned out to be better than most. I purposely did not ask any friends for their assistance so he could not badger them. However, each individual is different with levels of unpredictable behavior frightening beyond control. As I share this experience, which happened over 20 years ago, it still causes anxiety within myself. So people who are currently in volatile relationships get help whenever the opportunity presents itself. Blessings and safe journey.
As others have said, get all your important paperwork out of the house now, before any words are spoken about breaking up. Get a credit card that he does not know about, a new bank account, etc. Keep all these documents at work in a locked drawer. Same with important photos or items you cannot live without. Get a place to stay lined up before telling him. He's gonna break and destroy your stuff, so have the most important stuff out of the house before telling him. Hide his guns if possible. If they are in a cabinet, hide the key.
Do NOT tell him ANYTHING before planning your escape. Money, seperate bank accout, safe place to move to, security cameras. Take your valueable first. And be safe.
RUN GIRL RUN! First make sure you have a place to hide from this crazy person. Separate bank account he doesn't know about, new apartment he cannot locate, your own credit card to which he has no access. Honestly if you can, leave town and find another job. And get a restraining order against him. Threatening you with a gun? Girl, this is serious. Please be safe!
I agree with you. I think she may be in a kind of shock, or worn down by it all, and so not thinking straight, wanting him to be the kind of person she wants, not accepting who he is.
It the woman on this call ever reads this, I can tell you what you saved yourself from. My dad was this exact way. I grew up always wondering what I could do differently to make my dad happy with me. I came home and walked on eggshells if my dad was home. I learned what made him yell - usually my feelings- so I shut them down permanently and pretended to be fine. When he yelled at me and called me names, I just sat there quietly and took it. I knew speaking up just made it worse. I always wondered why my mom never stopped him, or questioned him or put her foot down. It made me feel extremely alone and isolated, while I wished I could be a different person because maybe then my dad would be nice to me. I learned to resent my mom for never leaving him or demanding an end to the verbal abuse. I hated my brothers for not sticking up for me, despite us all competing for a speck of attention from my dad, or on the more rare occasion, getting a compliment, even if a backhanded one. You saved your kids questioning themselves for decades, wondering what was so bad with them that made their dad act that way, until they eventually realized the truth. That their dad is messed up. And their mom is an enabler. This is what you saved them from!
Oh, I really feel for this young woman. My heart is in my mouth, knowing how much the anger escalates after you've left. Get out now and don't go to your parents as he will surely go there looking for you.
Speak with your employer After you've left. Tell them you're in a DV situation and must work remotely from an undisclosed location for a few weeks. They'll understand. Don't stay with your parents. You'd be putting them in harm's way. Godspeed.
I agree to NOT tell him beforehand, this is a very dangerous situation, do not prepare him in any way. Get out and let the dust settle, and then you could have a conversation if he’s calm. He told you what he’s going to do, believe him!
No, don't even have an in-person conversation with someone like that afterwards. I wrote above of the woman who met her ex at the McDonalds, and was gunned down in front of all the staff. She probably thought she was safe enough in a public place.
Sounds like my ex husband, he went ballistic when I asked him for the divorce. Even though, I knew he was going to have a reaction I choose my mental health and asked for the divorce. She can get an order of protection against him. He threatened her and she should go to a safe place.
NO!! 🙄 YOU DONT TALK TO HIM ABOUT ANYTHING!! YOU PACK YOUR CRAP, MAKE PLANS TO BE SOMEWHERE HE WOULD NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, AND LEAVE HIS BUTT!! 💼🧳 PAWN THE RING!! 💍 DONE!!
Excellent advice... protection first. It's like a divorce ask for police help... ALSO GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA AND LAY LOW FOR A WHILE MOVE AWAY IF YOU CAN. HE'S NOT SAFE....AT ALL.
Pay for storage unit in advance. Have boxes and tape in your trunk. After he has left for work for 15 min then pack a few boxes then take a few to storage every time get goes to work.If you can quickly get movers or a Uhaul to come that day and get in and out before his shift ends then do that option. Record on your phone with a witness when you return the ring.
I really wouldn't do it this way because he may notice things being shifted or moved. She has to go without him knowing, and she has to do it all on the same day. Make sure her car is full of gas, her phone charged. She needs to take time from work or quit entirely. I wouldn't go to my parents or my work because statistics show men who threaten end up trying to kill or killing their partners. She needs to leave the ring with an attorney who can return it to him. That way it is documented, and not just by a picture or a friend. He's going to rage.
He can lie and say say she didn’t leave it and then sue her or use his lie that he doesn’t have the ring to continue to have contact with her and torment her. @@serviceadvisormaxbyservice916
The advice I was given when my safety was threatened, was get small important things, paperwork like birth certificate, passports, those very specific important and small things out of the house. Life without them is an uphill battle. I was out within the week of my safety being threatened. Other people like police and things can be good to involve not in a childish playground way which is how it might feel. If he can't carry out the violence and control on you, he may try to actually take his own life or use that as a threat to draw you back. The police need to be aware of this so they can be the responders they are trained to be. Support systems in friends and family open up rapidly fast in situations like this, your fear will keep you trapped, reach out and you will be awed.
Well, that left a whole lot of us worried for her and some of us remembering our own encounters with violent men. And very much putting out there loads of prayers for the safety of this young lady. Prayers are good, but safety is in the actions. I wish you had told her not to go to her parents because he will look for her there, and at her work, her bank, her mechanic's, etc. Or at least there is that chance.
This is not on you. He threatened to shoot you! Get the police involved when you move out for your own safety. Police do this all the time in my jurisdiction.
Hey girl, I am praying for you!!! You’re used to being strong and not sweating the small stuff. Times up to be scared. You don’t have to hate him, you just have to love yourself as much if not more than you’ve given and loved him. I was able to leave my ex without police, but I left EVERYTHING that wasn’t my basic personal possessions behind. What a sense of freedom. I was so glad not to have ANY of it in my new life.
In this case if I was you miss I would arrange everything to be moved. While the fiancée is at work . When he gets home all is done . A neighbor used to live above me in a duplex taught me that . I remembered she arranged everything in silence and had the truck came to the place while her fiancé is at work and when he got home she already gone in peace ❤❤. I wish you a safe and happy journey ahead and may God protect you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
But she said it's hard to arrange because his work schedule fluctuates days and nights. I suggest she rent a truck the day before and leave it at a friends, that way it's ready to go whenever needed without wasting time. But if she doesn't need furniture (which she probably doesn't if she's going to her parents) then maybe won't need movers or a truck at all
Some people grow up in screwed up environments and think it's normal, then end up with a partner who continues the same abuse they had growing up and they don't question it until it gets too scary. They might blame themselves and not really realize that their partner is the one in the wrong. Or maybe they're just very naive and think extreme threats are just a weird way of expressing their intense affection. Some people don't realize possessiveness is dangerous, they think it's supposed to be romantic based on media they've read/watched, or the environments they grew up in. Don't know if any of this applies to the caller, but there is a large portion of the population who unfortunately are very vulnerable to tolerating abuse for whatever reason.
Look at from her perspective- imagine your gf/bf tells you “I’m going to kill you if you leave me” and your thought is okay let me leave. You’d be scared. People act like they’d be super strong and give them the finger and just leave- the truth is you’d feel your blood run cold and you’d be terrified. It’s easy to act tough when you aren’t standing in front of someone who could and would gladly kill you. Give this woman some grace and pray for her safety.
@@ElsaFlanagan2024 I can definitely understand being terrified in the moment, but that threat was issued a year ago and she's still with him. How much grace do you want to give her? She should have been left.
@@blacksquid270 I’ve been in a similar situation and when my “energy” changed (according to my ex) he physically assaulted me and I was even more scared to leave. Took me 2 years and physically running in the middle of the night and hiding for weeks to get away from him. It can take years to get away from people like this, they’re always watching and don’t ever want to let you go. I would give her as much grace as possible. It’s just my opinion based on my own experience.
I would suggest not bringing family and friends without police. Sometimes neighbors could see a moving truck and if they know him, might end up innocently texting him asking if he's moving. I'm sure he'd leave work fast if he was made aware
Every scolding got RED flag here: •Said he will shoot her •has a gun available •has been depressed lately The more she talked the more scared I became for her. Wish there was an update on if she is ok. If you’re out there, I hope you’re doing ok!
I don't know if this will help you but I've been in your situation and so have other people I know. I understand your psychological dissonance when it comes to just up and leaving, but that's what you need to do. You need to accept that and find a way to make it more okay for yourself. For me that was about leaving a poem behind. Do what you have to do but get out of there and do it quickly. I'm glad you can see that you truly are in danger there and you're not going to be in less danger at any point in time in the future and there is not going to be any easy way out for you just because of the heart you have. Do it for you. Will get better. ❤❤
Do not tell him before you have the officers with you.The most dangerous time for the victim is when she/ he leaves.Please contact your local Domestic Violence agency to help you come up with a safety plan.
I can understand her SO well because I've been there recently. It's not that she doesn't love him but she's not in love anymore because she's been minimizing his behavior clinging to the guy he once was or the man he could've been and she's accepted that he's not gonna be that for her but hope he can be that for the next woman he meets. There's a sense of failure and hopelessness in knowing you have to leave behind what you thought was forever.😢
This! That’s the hardest thing to accept. Letting go of what you thought or even what you patiently had hoped it would have become. Letting that illusion gone is the hardest.
Wait until the fiance is at work/away pack up only your essentials, call the police and tell them of the threats and that you're concerned, get a new phone and number, let your family know what's going on, and ideally move out of state on the opposite side of the country.
This went somewhere I wasn't expecting. She says she wears her "heart on her sleeve" it was by design he chose her , empathetic feeling individuals are easily manipulated and controlled by people like this, the fact that she moved in with him tells me he didn't present himself in the way he is now. Women and men need to do a background check on individuals they are entering a serious relationship, I have no doubt he's had issues with past partners because of his behavior.
exactly why as a lady you always need to have your own money that you have earned. so that when you don’t like an environment or person you can do whatever you please.
being financailly independent does not mean women do not fall in love with abusers, these are 2 different issues really. lots of women who are finanically dependent on men who are in loving relationships
@@s.ivainesustill being financially dependent puts a woman at higher risk. Also the lady did mention not having a place to live, which is for the most part financial.
She will MISS him. It is inevitable. Our brains mess with us. On the other side of ‘The Move’ and DRAMA, that’s when she is most susceptible to longing for him.
She's more concerned about his feelings than herself. Get the sheriff department involved and leave ASAP. Block all forms of contact with him and never look back.
I left a violent husband. If he finds you and tries to talk, be a gray rock. Don’t engage. Don’t react, however much you’re provoked. What finally worked for me was to make myself so attractive that he was repulsed and walked away in disgust. Now that I’m safe I can be relaxed and pretty again, but it was a really tense time.
Get out NOW. if he hears this call i am scared for you. Trust that having been through this there is NO time left. He will hurt you. sending love and prayers.
If a man threatens your life don’t take that lightly. Do not give the benefit of the doubt or it could cost you your life. Make an exit plan and don’t do it alone. That’s when they will snap.
With out a doubt... she said he said that a year ago she then got engaged to him now wants out and is actively trying to get red flagged this chick has issues @nbacryptoboy
I packed up with my aunts& mom when my husband went to work,after i git a fat lip & missed work 3 days. I made a plan & moved a month after my hit& took our daughter...I left on my 35 birthday .He was alcoholic ..I raised our girl from 7-17 after that..He died at 56 ,9 yrs ago,an alone smoking alcoholicfrom a heart attack..Our girl was 21..She is 30 now& her& I have healed..
I disagree on suggesting that you tell him you're leaving him. Just go. Find a new place immediately and begin to get your things together when he's at work.
I don’t understand why she’s still there…. If someone threatens to shoot you.. you cut them off no matter who it is. She’s playing with fire by still being there, they don’t have kids together or anything like that; she needs to go right now ASAP and just get the heck out of dodge.
If he said he is going to shoot you, even a year? ago, it still is a threat because it crossed his mind enough to speak it out loud. Once someone has said something like that, I would never be able to trust them again! She should have made a plan and left then- a few weeks later. (it does take a few weeks to get a plan together). How horrific! I feel for her. I can hear the gravity and fear of the situation in her voice, and hope she will be ok. She needs to contact a domestic abuse hotline, to help her devise a plan! I wish her well.
First, find a place for yourself, save up 6 months of living expenses. Then talk to him. He will surely kick you out, so be ready for it mentally and financially.
My aunt had a counselor at work who took her home one day he was working to pack her things and take her to my grandparents. He did everything abusive to her you could think. She is a strong woman too. She fot herself back though..inwish the best for this lady
At this time just leaving has more worth than anything tangible you can carry out. Best option is to leave while they’re gone and take some support. Only notify them after you have left. It’s funny how caring ppl can worry about the ab&$1ve person’s feeling yet they don’t receive the same respect back. It’s hard to treat ppl badly but crazier when we still try to spare even the ones that hurt us the most. Wrap your head around that.
Best way to break off an engagement is leave him immediately and send a moving company over later. On the flip side, you'll probably never find someone you is crazy enough about you he threatened to kill you if you leave. Some women love that kind of crazy.
That's really nothing to do with love. And only women who had no choice but to grow up in such a dangerous environment would find any of that normal or appealing.
I made an elaborate plan that took over a month to execute when I left my ex husband. I hid a suitcase and clothes at a friend’s house. I got a PO Box at the post office to conceal important documents. I sold family heirloom jewelry to have enough money to survive on. Then I told him I was going to work (I wasn’t) and went to the airport and left on a plane. You can leave! A much happier life is out there waiting for you!
I asked my parents to buy me a ticket home and they did without asking any questions. I packed a suitcase I used for winter clothes so he wouldn't suspect anything. Wiped all personal data on my devices, cleaned the apartment and left in the middle of the night. My friend picked me up and took me to the airport the next day. I've never looked back.
Wow... what a story! Glad you made it out, my friend.
Wow!
Should she consider not going to her patents? I mean wouldn't he look there 1st?
@@beverlyvarnerbv we don't all have parents bruh
Never ever warn an abusive partner you’re leaving them. That’s the most dangerous time. Great advice Deloney! It is absolutely a live threat!
Could she remove the gun and hide it somewhere. So he's not such a threat ?
@@lottielane2486like he can't mrdr her with bare hands?
As a survivor of domestic abuse the best thing she can do is not tell him she is leaving because that makes them go crazy and violent. You plan an exit you get help to leave when he is out of the house and you leave.
I agree, say nothing and get out. Who cares about a sofa, or other items...that kind of baggage can always be replaced...just take your necessities and GO-GO-GO!
100%! I certainly hope she takes your wise advice. You can hear in her voice that she is very afraid of him.
I agree with this. I packed a few items while he was at work. He sent me a message asking if I was going to start doing what I was supposed to do like making dinner and sex. I sent back not coming. That weekend my 3 boys plus a Sheriff met me there to help get my things. The Sheriff asked if I would be ok if he left and he looked at my ex. He said he would leave me alone. He was furious with me for asking the Sheriff to come but my middle son was a Deputy sheriff at that time and he wasn't willing to take the chance. I don't know if that helps but that's how I handled it. I wish you the best!! ❤❤
@@jaybur21 Did YOU listen to the part of the call where she said he threatened to SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD!! Or did you skip over that part?? Help me understand how you consider that "not abusive"?
REAL MEN DO NOT ABUSE WOMEN!
Pack your bags ! Under the radar 100%
Abusers do not deserve closure or a breakup. You do what you gotta do to get out safely.
This is important. We try to be decent people but abusers do not deserve the courtesy of a warning. At all.
Never be alone with him even after a breakup, even if he asks for a ride or says he'll drop by to give you your stuff
This
Actually never physically be in his presence or trust him to be safe, in any way, ever again. No risks. Bc he is a high risk danger.
Indeed yes, this is 100% true. Never meet up with one after the break up, not even 'to talk'. Not even in a public place. A woman in Australia a few years ago thought she would be safe by meeting him at a McDonalds in the morning. He just shot her in front of all the staff.
The thing is, they wait for their time for the revenge. Never ever trust them.
Broke Up With My Other Half After 15 Years. Never Told Him I Was Leaving. Blocked Him On The Phone. Seen Him 4 Months Later, He Told Me I Thought We Were Friends, Asked Me What Did He Do Wrong Or If I Had Another Man. Then Asked Me To Get In The Car, He Wanted To Talk. I Told Him No I Was Cool. He Pulled Off. Called Me From A Different Number And Offered Me Some Money, To Have Sex With Me, Blocked That Number Too. He Used To Always Put Me Down And Was Rough With Me Doing Sex. He Blamed Me For His Impotent, Telling Me It Was My Fault He Couldn't Get A Rise, And He Had Another Woman That Could Satisfy Him. So That was The End. Go Be With Her, I Am Gone FOREVER
My best friend was shot to death by her fiancé when she was trying to leave. Her bags were packed and he shot her in the face. Do not tell him you are leaving. Wait until he goes to work and have cops and friends move you out in one day. She never thought that would happen to her but she’s gone now.
I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing.
Post an article to this or I'm calling BS.
😢
@@digitalaccessibilityacademy What’s your problem?
@@sherryrutledge8792 Not being sheep, I guess.
I had two armed men on the front porch in case he came home early from work and some friends that helped me get all my belongings out in a couple hours. I had to live in someones garage after that for awhile but it was so worth it.
Proud of you ♥️
You did the right thing. Glad you're happy and SAFE.
Are you safe?
@futurefunk88eddins96 Yes! It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Like the caller, he would "joke" that no one would find my body in the woods that backed up to our house. Unlike the caller, he was abusive in every way possible. I had major ptsd afterwards and I thought he would come after me but thankfully he didn't. I'm in a good place now.
@@genetmom4794 proud of you too ❤️
Once I realized that my ex was going to be hostile upon leaving, I got a storage unit and slowly put belongings in there while he was at work. It took a long time to gain my freedom due to financial abuse as well. Don’t tell him your plans upfront and make your move! Sending support and love.
Very smart. I hope you are doing well.❤
That's a good option too
@@sakitoby1581 thank you so much, things are better and self-love is the next chapter
Don’t tell him you’re leaving. Everything is NOT JUST FINE. You should have left. when he said that. Courage!🎉
1. If you're leaving. Do NOT TELL HIM. The most dangerous time in this sort of situation is when the woman tries to leave.
2. Read #1
3. Look for a place to go to immediately. Somewhere where he doesnt know where it is, with people you know wont give up your location.
3. Get help from the sheriff, local DV groups.
Yes, very important not to go to places he might look, such as work or parents.
She's not leaving. At least not yet. She's got too many excuses why she can't, all targeted to regulating his behavior, and hasn't even gotten a basic plan together. I've seen this too many times before. I hope she makes it out eventually for the sake of her and her child, but this is where you back off. Let her know you're there for her, and no longer discuss him with her.
No other comment here is needed. They should delete all and just have this one.
It's only dangerous if you have no control and no protection bc you're by yourself. Come up there with armed officers and let's see how "scary" the little coward is lol. If he even tries to get aggressive or threatens her, the officers will arrest him or possibly shoot him if her life is threatened. I say don't sneak off- call the police and have them right there with you to show that little punk who's boss now.
That would piss him off for sure. The police can't be there all the time. Idk..seems provocative. For a nutcase with a big memor, that's not good..@@GameChanger597
PLEASE Rachel take Dr. John’s advice. He is exactly right. I’m so sorry. You need to protect yourself before he kills you - he WILL if you allow him the chance. I know it’s a shock.
Something most people don't understand about Intimate Partner Violence is that it never starts out that way. In the beginning, the abuser is like the hero of a fairytale.
@@fortyseventhronin so true
A narcissist. Been there, done that.
@@cheesygal Yes. "Does your child need a daddy? I can help." 💔
@@susancassels5887 not sure where you’re coming from. I’ll answer sincerely. I didn’t have children with my ex-husband. I have an awesome family now.
@@susancassels5887 who are you quoting or what are you on about 😂
My mom took me at age 5 and my brother who was 1 and left our dad while he was deployed out of the country. That is literally the only way to leave an abuser. You do not give them warning. You just leave silently. Good thing they are not married. I don’t know if any kids are involved, but the same rules apply and you deal with system and explain your side with proof.
People who used this call to discuss their beliefs and harp on the fact she isn't married must not have heard just how many wives die at the hands of their husbands. Marriage does not protect from conjugal violence.
This is so scary. He's the type of guy that will kill her then kill HIMSELF afterwards
!!!!!!!
Yes and if she leaves secretly he may kill himself out of rage that he couldn't stop her
I would hide the gun, and have the police move you out and catch him off guard. Block him, restraining order, leave and never let him find you.
Why do you care more about his feelings than your life?!?! Do not tell him you are leaving. Disappear (new place, new job, off social media). Disappear for at least a year. Bc breaking up is when abusers kill. He WILL kill you. Do not stay at parents bc he will find you (and maybe kill them, too). DISAPPEAR
Abusive people groom and degrade their victims and make them think they need them and arent independent. I cant speak for caller tho
yeah, going back to parents house doesn't seem wise at all. they've been together for 10 years, he's def been to her parents house and knows she will run there.
Also, does sound so bizzare to hear her want to do an elaborate move, just grab the important stuff and run. it's insane to hear her talk
@@johnny9072Lay some chills . . . she has been traumatized . . . PTS!!!
It's generally two years for the threat from most abusers to subside. Mostly it does kick off within the first six months of leaving, the biggest danger time. For a few women though, they will never be safe. However, it is often hard to predict which ones are the lifelong threats.
My husband hadn't threatened me but i just didn't know what he could do, how far he would go if i told him. So it took a year to plan, accommodation, finance etc and left with 3 kids without telling him. Expect the worse even if you feel you are over reacting
My dad told my mom that. We snuck out and hid. He shot her in the head at the attorney’s office. Get safe and get out.
Omg that's horrible, Im so sorry
I hope you healed. That s terrifying.
Such evilness. I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry that happened in your life, and I wish you luck and love and all good things!
Oh I am so sorry! 😢❤
She’s in incredible danger already and it increases when she leaves. But she does need to leave immediately! Good for John for always giving it direct and with care.
When he talks about specificity it is very important. I have been in an emotionally unstable relationship and at my worst I would never say words like that out of anger. That has to be him revealing something about himself to be able to speak like that. When people openly tell you their bad behavior or traits, take them at face value why would they say it otherwise.
Yes, the specific nature of that threat makes it far more likely that it will occur. She is in grave danger.
If someone threatens to harm you or themselves if you leave them you need to get out of that situation immediately.
* with a plan
@@samanthaquant7411 Most definitely with a plan. They don't lose their sh*t until they think you are leaving, so if you behave like normal, it buys time to get out smartly.
Girl what?! The fact that he even made such a crazy threat shows he's unhinged . Get out of there!
Right? the threat of harming was a year ago.....what is she waiting for
My husband and I have been together for 28 years and have gone through a couple of rough patches, but we have never, ever threatened violence towards each other. This guy has made a pretty specific threat and has access to firearms. Planning an escape and involving the police seems the safest way to me. Not only is she protecting herself, but she may also be protecting him in a way from doing something terrible. I can tell she has feelings for him still which are getting in the way here.
I was in a situation like this. I left in the middle of the night with no warning. I only packed my essentials that couldn't be replaced. Went no-contact and never spoke to him again. It has been 6 years and I will never look back.
@NeccoWecco I'm so proud of you 🙏🏿❤️
@@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Thank you. I hope sharing my story gives other people the courage to leave ❤🩹
Good for you!!
I haven't been able to forget this since I first watched it a few weeks back. I hope she's ok. 🤞🏼
Girl, RUN…..not walk, TODAY!!!
Rachel: don't forget to *leave the engagement* ring on the table on your way out.
😂 Youre silly.
PAWN IT!!
@@HeidisHereAndThereCut all ties and excuses for him to make contact. Leave the ring. It isn't worth her safety.
Dealing with that man for 10 years, She can keep the ring
😂all the emotional labor she probably put in that man......🗣🗣🗣🗣Rachel KEEP IT
Leave is at the police precinct, and leave a note saying he can pick it up there.
“Theres no physical just verbal and emotional.” Ya its coming, physical is definitely coming …..
Physical... he threatened to "X" her!! 😵
Yep the beating is coming
@@HeidisHereAndThere Sadly, threats are still emotional abuse. Not physical, but I agree that it is imminent.
@@HeidisHereAndThere How is that physical? You need a refund of your college tuition if you even attended one.
It's physical because any threat to your life creates a physiological response in the physical body - it creates the same physical response as a slap or punch would. This is why muggers get what they want without having to do physical harm - the threat is enough.
Deloney handled this very well 👏🏼
Only part I disagree with is about telling him ahead of time. Absolutely do not do that, especially since the threat was directly linked to her leaving him
@@curlygurlxohe only asked if that was a possibility but on further discussion he dismissed it as not the best option
09:00 Oh no Delony, don't tell her to pre-warn him like that! You did well up until that point. You NEVER tell an abuser you are leaving, NEVER, particularly one that has threatened to put a bullet in your head. That is Risk Assessment 101. It does not matter that he has not been physically abusive before, threats to kill are abuse, and to be taken seriously.
I could hear the tremble (and suppressed terror) in her voice right from the start. I do hope she got out safely.
As someone who has dealt with someone like this...just show up with officers and get your stuff. Do NOT give him any insight into what you're going to do. This mistake has cost women their lives. Every moment counts. Just go!
Years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship and after 2 years I decided to leave. I sent him out to a local hangout and while he was out I contacted the police and they instructed me to pack a quick suitcase and me me and I followed them to a safe location, which had to remain totally secret for other women in that safe place. Contacting the police and letting them know that your life is in danger is most important. My circumstances turned out to be better than most. I purposely did not ask any friends for their assistance so he could not badger them. However, each individual is different with levels of unpredictable behavior frightening beyond control. As I share this experience, which happened over 20 years ago, it still causes anxiety within myself. So people who are currently in volatile relationships get help whenever the opportunity presents itself. Blessings and safe journey.
As others have said, get all your important paperwork out of the house now, before any words are spoken about breaking up.
Get a credit card that he does not know about, a new bank account, etc. Keep all these documents at work in a locked drawer.
Same with important photos or items you cannot live without. Get a place to stay lined up before telling him. He's gonna break and destroy your stuff, so have the most important stuff out of the house before telling him. Hide his guns if possible. If they are in a cabinet, hide the key.
Do NOT tell him ANYTHING before planning your escape. Money, seperate bank accout, safe place to move to, security cameras. Take your valueable first. And be safe.
RUN GIRL RUN! First make sure you have a place to hide from this crazy person. Separate bank account he doesn't know about, new apartment he cannot locate, your own credit card to which he has no access. Honestly if you can, leave town and find another job. And get a restraining order against him. Threatening you with a gun? Girl, this is serious. Please be safe!
I agree with you. I think she may be in a kind of shock, or worn down by it all, and so not thinking straight, wanting him to be the kind of person she wants, not accepting who he is.
I love how you always validate your callers well done🙏💝
Leave secretly. But also leave him a note with the engagement ring.
There’s a lot of very wise women here. Just reading all your stories is very powerful! Take their advice and just get out! Don’t tell him a thing!
It the woman on this call ever reads this, I can tell you what you saved yourself from. My dad was this exact way. I grew up always wondering what I could do differently to make my dad happy with me. I came home and walked on eggshells if my dad was home. I learned what made him yell - usually my feelings- so I shut them down permanently and pretended to be fine. When he yelled at me and called me names, I just sat there quietly and took it. I knew speaking up just made it worse. I always wondered why my mom never stopped him, or questioned him or put her foot down. It made me feel extremely alone and isolated, while I wished I could be a different person because maybe then my dad would be nice to me. I learned to resent my mom for never leaving him or demanding an end to the verbal abuse. I hated my brothers for not sticking up for me, despite us all competing for a speck of attention from my dad, or on the more rare occasion, getting a compliment, even if a backhanded one.
You saved your kids questioning themselves for decades, wondering what was so bad with them that made their dad act that way, until they eventually realized the truth. That their dad is messed up. And their mom is an enabler.
This is what you saved them from!
Leave the relationship as fast as possible in the Safeway way for yourself.
Oh, I really feel for this young woman. My heart is in my mouth, knowing how much the anger escalates after you've left. Get out now and don't go to your parents as he will surely go there looking for you.
Speak with your employer After you've left. Tell them you're in a DV situation and must work remotely from an undisclosed location for a few weeks. They'll understand. Don't stay with your parents. You'd be putting them in harm's way. Godspeed.
NO do not give him any warning!!! GO ASAP
Don't tell him. Have a plan, pack your bag and go. Only tell people that you trust 100% where you are going.
I agree to NOT tell him beforehand, this is a very dangerous situation, do not prepare him in any way.
Get out and let the dust settle, and then you could have a conversation if he’s calm.
He told you what he’s going to do, believe him!
No, don't even have an in-person conversation with someone like that afterwards. I wrote above of the woman who met her ex at the McDonalds, and was gunned down in front of all the staff. She probably thought she was safe enough in a public place.
Sounds like my ex husband, he went ballistic when I asked him for the divorce. Even though, I knew he was going to have a reaction I choose my mental health and asked for the divorce.
She can get an order of protection against him. He threatened her and she should go to a safe place.
When you get out, don’t go back!! So many victims go BACK to their abusers!
NO!! 🙄 YOU DONT TALK TO HIM ABOUT ANYTHING!! YOU PACK YOUR CRAP, MAKE PLANS TO BE SOMEWHERE HE WOULD NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, AND LEAVE HIS BUTT!! 💼🧳
PAWN THE RING!! 💍
DONE!!
Leave the ring, why bring that with and potentially cause more trouble?
Excellent advice... protection first. It's like a divorce ask for police help... ALSO GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA AND LAY LOW FOR A WHILE MOVE AWAY IF YOU CAN. HE'S NOT SAFE....AT ALL.
Pay for storage unit in advance. Have boxes and tape in your trunk. After he has left for work for 15 min then pack a few boxes then take a few to storage every time get goes to work.If you can quickly get movers or a Uhaul to come that day and get in and out before his shift ends then do that option. Record on your phone with a witness when you return the ring.
Brilliant plan.👏👏
@@123cillitbangbe willing to leave some stuff behind. It’s just stuff. Gather up your essentials and go somewhere safe.
I really wouldn't do it this way because he may notice things being shifted or moved. She has to go without him knowing, and she has to do it all on the same day. Make sure her car is full of gas, her phone charged. She needs to take time from work or quit entirely. I wouldn't go to my parents or my work because statistics show men who threaten end up trying to kill or killing their partners. She needs to leave the ring with an attorney who can return it to him. That way it is documented, and not just by a picture or a friend. He's going to rage.
leave the ring there.
He can lie and say say she didn’t leave it and then sue her or use his lie that he doesn’t have the ring to continue to have contact with her and torment her. @@serviceadvisormaxbyservice916
The advice I was given when my safety was threatened, was get small important things, paperwork like birth certificate, passports, those very specific important and small things out of the house. Life without them is an uphill battle. I was out within the week of my safety being threatened. Other people like police and things can be good to involve not in a childish playground way which is how it might feel. If he can't carry out the violence and control on you, he may try to actually take his own life or use that as a threat to draw you back. The police need to be aware of this so they can be the responders they are trained to be. Support systems in friends and family open up rapidly fast in situations like this, your fear will keep you trapped, reach out and you will be awed.
Leave when hes not there, block everything, wipe your phone and get a burner, change passwords on all social media accounts and get tf out
Well, that left a whole lot of us worried for her and some of us remembering our own encounters with violent men. And very much putting out there loads of prayers for the safety of this young lady. Prayers are good, but safety is in the actions. I wish you had told her not to go to her parents because he will look for her there, and at her work, her bank, her mechanic's, etc. Or at least there is that chance.
This is not on you. He threatened to shoot you! Get the police involved when you move out for your own safety. Police do this all the time in my jurisdiction.
She cannot tell him she is leaving because the chances are he will kill her. I truly hope she and her parents will be ok.
Hey girl, I am praying for you!!! You’re used to being strong and not sweating the small stuff. Times up to be scared. You don’t have to hate him, you just have to love yourself as much if not more than you’ve given and loved him.
I was able to leave my ex without police, but I left EVERYTHING that wasn’t my basic personal possessions behind. What a sense of freedom. I was so glad not to have ANY of it in my new life.
My freedom was the biggest gift I gave to myself.
In this case if I was you miss I would arrange everything to be moved. While the fiancée is at work . When he gets home all is done . A neighbor used to live above me in a duplex taught me that . I remembered she arranged everything in silence and had the truck came to the place while her fiancé is at work and when he got home she already gone in peace ❤❤. I wish you a safe and happy journey ahead and may God protect you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
But she said it's hard to arrange because his work schedule fluctuates days and nights. I suggest she rent a truck the day before and leave it at a friends, that way it's ready to go whenever needed without wasting time. But if she doesn't need furniture (which she probably doesn't if she's going to her parents) then maybe won't need movers or a truck at all
She continued to be with him after he said he would shoot her if she left? Dafuq?? Get out of there.
I would have devised a plan from that moment in my mind, and left even if it took a couple of weeks to secretly move stuff out, etc.
Some people grow up in screwed up environments and think it's normal, then end up with a partner who continues the same abuse they had growing up and they don't question it until it gets too scary. They might blame themselves and not really realize that their partner is the one in the wrong. Or maybe they're just very naive and think extreme threats are just a weird way of expressing their intense affection. Some people don't realize possessiveness is dangerous, they think it's supposed to be romantic based on media they've read/watched, or the environments they grew up in. Don't know if any of this applies to the caller, but there is a large portion of the population who unfortunately are very vulnerable to tolerating abuse for whatever reason.
Look at from her perspective- imagine your gf/bf tells you “I’m going to kill you if you leave me” and your thought is okay let me leave. You’d be scared. People act like they’d be super strong and give them the finger and just leave- the truth is you’d feel your blood run cold and you’d be terrified. It’s easy to act tough when you aren’t standing in front of someone who could and would gladly kill you. Give this woman some grace and pray for her safety.
@@ElsaFlanagan2024 I can definitely understand being terrified in the moment, but that threat was issued a year ago and she's still with him. How much grace do you want to give her? She should have been left.
@@blacksquid270 I’ve been in a similar situation and when my “energy” changed (according to my ex) he physically assaulted me and I was even more scared to leave. Took me 2 years and physically running in the middle of the night and hiding for weeks to get away from him. It can take years to get away from people like this, they’re always watching and don’t ever want to let you go. I would give her as much grace as possible. It’s just my opinion based on my own experience.
I would suggest not bringing family and friends without police. Sometimes neighbors could see a moving truck and if they know him, might end up innocently texting him asking if he's moving. I'm sure he'd leave work fast if he was made aware
the most important thing is that you don't stay the night after telling him..
Every scolding got RED flag here:
•Said he will shoot her
•has a gun available
•has been depressed lately
The more she talked the more scared I became for her. Wish there was an update on if she is ok. If you’re out there, I hope you’re doing ok!
YOU TELL THIS GUY NOTHING AHEAD OF TIME!! This is like a secret military exercise/attack. NEVER tell the enemy what you are planning.
I don't know if this will help you but I've been in your situation and so have other people I know. I understand your psychological dissonance when it comes to just up and leaving, but that's what you need to do. You need to accept that and find a way to make it more okay for yourself. For me that was about leaving a poem behind. Do what you have to do but get out of there and do it quickly. I'm glad you can see that you truly are in danger there and you're not going to be in less danger at any point in time in the future and there is not going to be any easy way out for you just because of the heart you have. Do it for you. Will get better. ❤❤
Hide the gun in a new place like in crawl space under the house. Any place very hard to find.
It could be in a safe with a password she doesn't know though. Many people have guns in safes.
Run from this man, he’s told you who he is 🇦🇺
Do not tell him before you have the officers with you.The most dangerous time for the victim is when she/ he leaves.Please contact your local Domestic Violence agency to help you come up with a safety plan.
I can understand her SO well because I've been there recently. It's not that she doesn't love him but she's not in love anymore because she's been minimizing his behavior clinging to the guy he once was or the man he could've been and she's accepted that he's not gonna be that for her but hope he can be that for the next woman he meets. There's a sense of failure and hopelessness in knowing you have to leave behind what you thought was forever.😢
This! That’s the hardest thing to accept. Letting go of what you thought or even what you patiently had hoped it would have become. Letting that illusion gone is the hardest.
Wait until the fiance is at work/away pack up only your essentials, call the police and tell them of the threats and that you're concerned, get a new phone and number, let your family know what's going on, and ideally move out of state on the opposite side of the country.
Yes, take the essentials and send over friends or movers for the rest.
Move in silence, plan it out, and get a place and move small things. Everything makes it a swift move.
YOU DO NOT TELL AN ABUSER YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEAVE HIM. OH MY GOD.
This went somewhere I wasn't expecting. She says she wears her "heart on her sleeve" it was by design he chose her , empathetic feeling individuals are easily manipulated and controlled by people like this, the fact that she moved in with him tells me he didn't present himself in the way he is now. Women and men need to do a background check on individuals they are entering a serious relationship, I have no doubt he's had issues with past partners because of his behavior.
It is the one thing most victims have in common, high degree of empathy. This type (abuser) has a radar to seek out next victim.
This is so terrifying. When she said what he told her I was literally shook. I hope she has left and is safe.
exactly why as a lady you always need to have your own money that you have earned. so that when you don’t like an environment or person you can do whatever you please.
being financailly independent does not mean women do not fall in love with abusers, these are 2 different issues really. lots of women who are finanically dependent on men who are in loving relationships
@@s.ivainesustill being financially dependent puts a woman at higher risk. Also the lady did mention not having a place to live, which is for the most part financial.
@@SA-ey6nt yes it does, it doesnt slove the underlying issue of picking bad partners or being a bad partner.
Support group number one action to take first. Get people behind you that understand.
She will MISS him. It is inevitable. Our brains mess with us. On the other side of ‘The Move’ and DRAMA, that’s when she is most susceptible to longing for him.
Rachel, keep yourself safe. Whatever it takes.
She's more concerned about his feelings than herself. Get the sheriff department involved and leave ASAP. Block all forms of contact with him and never look back.
I left a violent husband. If he finds you and tries to talk, be a gray rock. Don’t engage. Don’t react, however much you’re provoked. What finally worked for me was to make myself so attractive that he was repulsed and walked away in disgust. Now that I’m safe I can be relaxed and pretty again, but it was a really tense time.
What are you saying?😵💫
Important papers, passport, clothes and makeup/jewelry. Furniture and kitchen stuff can be replaced.
Leave and block. Make an exit plan, you can’t control his reaction. It never gets better because you’re not made for each other and that’s ok.
Get out NOW. if he hears this call i am scared for you. Trust that having been through this there is NO time left. He will hurt you. sending love and prayers.
I'm praying for your safety Rachel.
If he has threatened your life, believe him and proceed accordingly and have the cops there when you leave.
Most likely he'll say you're over reacting and being dramatic. But safe people don't threaten to kill you EVER.
If a man threatens your life don’t take that lightly. Do not give the benefit of the doubt or it could cost you your life. Make an exit plan and don’t do it alone. That’s when they will snap.
That escalated quickly. Call goes from we tried to make it work but just aren't compatible to he might shoot me in the head.
Guarantee she made that up.
With out a doubt... she said he said that a year ago she then got engaged to him now wants out and is actively trying to get red flagged this chick has issues
@nbacryptoboy
I packed up with my aunts& mom when my husband went to work,after i git a fat lip & missed work 3 days.
I made a plan & moved a month after my hit& took our daughter...I left on my 35 birthday .He was alcoholic ..I raised our girl from 7-17 after that..He died at 56 ,9 yrs ago,an alone smoking alcoholicfrom a heart attack..Our girl was 21..She is 30 now& her& I have healed..
I disagree on suggesting that you tell him you're leaving him. Just go. Find a new place immediately and begin to get your things together when he's at work.
I don’t understand why she’s still there…. If someone threatens to shoot you.. you cut them off no matter who it is. She’s playing with fire by still being there, they don’t have kids together or anything like that; she needs to go right now ASAP and just get the heck out of dodge.
She needs to go to therapy and figure that out. because she risks picking out another person like this unless she sorts herself out.
@@michele21auntiem Trueee
She won’t be safe at her parents house. He probably knows or can find out where they live. He can also follow her on the way to & from her job.
I agree.
I know this was recorded a month or so ago. Is she out safely?
If he said he is going to shoot you, even a year? ago, it still is a threat because it crossed his mind enough to speak it out loud. Once someone has said something like that, I would never be able to trust them again! She should have made a plan and left then- a few weeks later. (it does take a few weeks to get a plan together). How horrific! I feel for her. I can hear the gravity and fear of the situation in her voice, and hope she will be ok. She needs to contact a domestic abuse hotline, to help her devise a plan! I wish her well.
First, find a place for yourself, save up 6 months of living expenses. Then talk to him. He will surely kick you out, so be ready for it mentally and financially.
My aunt had a counselor at work who took her home one day he was working to pack her things and take her to my grandparents. He did everything abusive to her you could think. She is a strong woman too. She fot herself back though..inwish the best for this lady
At this time just leaving has more worth than anything tangible you can carry out. Best option is to leave while they’re gone and take some support. Only notify them after you have left. It’s funny how caring ppl can worry about the ab&$1ve person’s feeling yet they don’t receive the same respect back. It’s hard to treat ppl badly but crazier when we still try to spare even the ones that hurt us the most. Wrap your head around that.
You say to him what you said to Dr. John. You sound very reasonable. And move out quickly. Do not drag that out.
Best way to break off an engagement is leave him immediately and send a moving company over later.
On the flip side, you'll probably never find someone you is crazy enough about you he threatened to kill you if you leave. Some women love that kind of crazy.
That's really nothing to do with love. And only women who had no choice but to grow up in such a dangerous environment would find any of that normal or appealing.
And clearly some men just hate women, like yourself.
Girl need to run 😊
Wow this is terrifying