Emotional CLEANING OUT of My Closet and DECLUTTER with Me (including donation drop off at Goodwill!)
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2023
- How am I crying about financial guilt four years into decluttering? About SHIRTS?! Well, here we are in an emotional cleaning out of my closet as I declutter 14 shirts. Maybe I will be on this minimalist journey forever.
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Simple Living
Decluttering is part of simple living for me. Living with less stuff makes life simpler in our house. However, simple living does not mean easy living. Simple living is about uncomplicating parts of your life. By decluttering, choosing your enough, and focusing intentionally on what matters most to you, a life of slow and simple living is possible.
Slow Living
A slow living lifestyle is sometimes perceived as an antidote to the effects of that fast paced life. Slow living is about balancing the things you want to do WITH the speed of life. Slowing down and embracing slow living is not about getting the same amount of things done at a slower pace. Rather, slow and simple living is about finding balance and living better in our fast paced world.
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Hello! I'm Erica Lucas. On this channel, I share videos about making life simple one day at a time. Obstructive, massive, problem-level clutter overwhelmed me... until I decluttered thousands of items, created open space in our home, and found free time as a minimalist! In my fourth year of minimalism, I am now bridging into simple living, slow living, and sharing a few easy tips to get started! 2023 is about finding joy in simple living for our family of five.
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I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to hug a complete stranger more than I do today. Erica, please give yourself grace for this really minor mistake. We’ve all done it especially during a stressful time or grieving.
I totally agree. ♥️♥️
Same!❤
Grace to you Erica, you’ve been through so much lately. In the grand scheme of things this was such a minor thing in how far you’ve come on your journey.
Exactly!
Yes! I agree! Pretty sure a large portion of viewers have done it too! I know I have! 😂
That is almost exactly what I was thinking!
It is OK. You will be helping others with your donation.
Yes….give yourself grace!
Reminding ourselves that ‘Yay, someone will be able to use this!’ gives consolation for the sunk cost/money that’s already spent. “It’s not going to waste. It’s going to a good cause.”
I appreciate how you transform the moments of shame into a “lesson learned” and a new plan for the future. Well done!
Erica, You have to remember to give your self lots of grace. You are in a season of heavy grief. Grief from losing your brother and your mother. Grief makes our brains fuzzy. Grief sometimes comes out in making decisions we would not normally make. Give yourself lots of grace. Hugs!!!
Trauma triggers coping mechanisms. One you see a pattern it is a wonderful learning how to overcome. We all struggle with it. You are not alone give yourself grace. Also you are blessing someone else. What is so awesome about it, is you recognize this and address it to help everyone! Thank you!!! The struggle is real!! ❤️❤️❤️
Well said.
I wouldn’t be surprised if this was also connected with grief. I’m sorry for how tough it’s been with your losses. I did the same thing during the pandemic. I think it was something I could control-and still, those extra blouses sit still packaged in my closet. Time to let them go. I bought them in two sizes too 😊
You are so right; when I lost my mom, I started buying so much stuff and a way to avoid the pain
After the funeral of my grandpa i drove straight to ikea- i needed that change of surrounding and i really loved what i had bought for many years..
Oh Erika, big hugs!!!! I don’t think we ever get used to being human and making mistakes. I do the cheap in volume still and shhhh just between us- I have had to donate the better quality more expensive ones too! (LLBean cotton T-shirts feel great and shrink like crazy!) Some stuff is always just not going to work.
It’s part of life. You’re human sweetie! Just human. Much much love. Plus you’re coping with a season of loss. We all regress a bit when under stress. ❤❤❤🙏🤗
And yes you talking it through is VERY helpful to hear!!!
Erica I loved how you were totally honest with us and even let us see your tears. Teaching us how to deal with these situations by talking it out out loud is so helpful to many of us. Always remember, you are only human and you are gonna make mistakes.
"actively choosing to not wear them"...this struck a chord with me and immediately a few items that I've been doing this with came to mind. It's actually good to know that others are still making mistakes and I'm not the only one! Thank you for sharing.
Erica, be kind and gentle with yourself. Let the guilt go too.
You bought them with good intentions and now you have released them with good intentions too and someone or several people will be very grateful for the donations you made.
We are human and we make mistakes but we also learn from them and help others in that learning too. Sending you hugs and prayers. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏💪👍💐🙏🐕🦺
Before you even said it, I was thinking that the purchases were probably made shortly after your brother's passing. This was a really wonderful video that will help a lot of people who struggle with retail therapy to cope with grief, anxiety, ADHD, etc. Being between sizes and not being able to trust different manufacturers' sizing is also very relatable. You are a 24/7 (homeschooling) mom and that's extremely challenging in more ways than one! It would be great if Andy could relieve you of your duties for a few hours each month (or more often, if needed) so you can go to a real store to try on clothes that you need. I prefer to shop secondhand stores to see the true size and quality of items after they've been washed, in addition to being more environmentally friendly.
I am not surprised, and you shouldn't feel guilty. It is the grief of loosing your brother. Filling the void. Serotonin because of the purchase is what helped you cope at that time. You are doing great. I really admire you ❤
Thank you for walking us through the emotions of decluttering. You were so courageous, and everyone who aspires to declutter needs to see this video.
Dont beat yourself up! You recognized the problem & you have addressed it. Love your personality & your "talk to yourself". Very therapeutic.
Progress is not linear. Ups and downs are normal. You are doing great!
Watching you go through your clothes and admitting to yourself that they are not serving you in spite of the $ spent is inspiring to me. As much as I declutter, there are still things in my closet that just live there without being worn. They are pretty, feel good, but not in the season of life I am in. Somebody else would really love them. You inspired me to gather those things right now! Thank you……
“When I’m doubt, throw it out!”
“Taking this lesson forward…”
And
“clutter is magnetic” -
I am literally writing these out and sticking these quotes around my house right after I type this! SO HELPFUL!
You've been through so much in recent months and emotional shopping is not uncommon. Someone will be happy to find these at a thrift store and will get good use of them. Don't beat yourself up over this purchase. You've made so, so much progress. Give yourself the grace you would bestow to others in a heartbeat.
Well done Erica, I still experience this after 6+ years of striving for simplicity and less and it is not always nice to come up against. As Marie Kondo encourages, the items served their purpose at the time and it’s time to thank them for that and move on. Sometimes that purpose for my items can be as frivolous as providing retail therapy, but that must have been needed at the time
Erica sometimes grief make us go backwards. We love you bearing your soul to us. Why we love you being so honest with us and yourself
I love how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. I always feel like I’m hanging out with a good friend when I watch your videos. I’ve been systematically downsizing my closet for some time now. I mix in new pieces from Amazon (eek) and am so thankful for how easy their returns can be and excited to do the follow through of getting the items I don’t love back to Amazon and out of my closet lol.
It definitely helps to hear you talk through the purchasing decisions and the draw of the sunk costs fallacy telling you to keep them. I love how you're so real. There's not many UA-cam posters addressing the emotional impact of it all, most declutter so easily and it's hard to relate to. You had a minor relapse with these tees, don't beat yourself up. You're a great inspiration to me
I gave my sister a huge bag of shirts I had bought...hated each one because they were too short in the waist but thought at the time of buying it was ok..ended up a lady at her work needed clothes and loved getting them...made me feel so much better about letting them go...
No regrets.. the money is gone. There’s a reason(or two) you did this. Your not the only one with regrets. There’s a hole lot of us. 😊❤
Yes thank you for thinking it through on camera. This is THE most helpful thing for me as I look at my own stuff and what to do with it.
Thanks Erica! You have motivated me to FINALLY donate the TWO long sleeved white blouses I was told should be an essentiala wardrobe piece. I don’t like the material or fit (ordered them on-line in two different sizes), and never reach for them. Today they are leaving my closet - yeah😊. No more buyers remorse, and better yet, I’ve broken someone else’s cardinal rule about white blouses…. go figure - the sky didn’t fall 😅
Erica, your a strong woman and I understand that your still grieving. I wish I could give you a big hug.
As I am working through my closets and removing many mistakes and "overpurchases" I was so moved watching your video! Thank-you for sharing your thoughts and tears, it really was so helpful to me! Much grace to you Erica!
You know what, as mothers and wives we make so many decisions about so much, we need to cut ourselves a little slack for sometimes making choices that just don't work out or don't make sense. Forgive yourself. It wasn't a car or a house or a pony, it was a couple of cheap shirts that didn't fit, and that you were able to donate to someone in need. Deep breath my lovely, and onwards. Be kind to yourself, you've been through a bunch of stuff lately xxxx
You have been through so much in the last year and a half. If someone had reached out to you with the same situation you would have been so gracious to them. Give yourself the same grace that we are so willing to give other. (Preaching to myself too!) ❤️❤️❤️
Be easy on yourself. Look how far you have come.
I feel ya. I have a terrible time with stuff like this, and in buying things for myself. As a child, NO money was spent on me. I only got my sister's hand me downs, and my school uniforms. My parents were very abusive and I was made to feel worthless. My mom was so frugal, and I am, too. But every purchase or donation makes me feel guilty. It is so hard to get rid of these feelings! We all make mistakes like this. Don't beat yourself up, you are such a cool person.
Erica, it is not a stupid purchase! I can totally relate to being excited about finding something you think will work, at a great deal and buying a few extra for when the others get worn out. I can totally relate! It's not your fault when the washer) dryer changed them on you! I think you helped us all learn a valuable lesson!! 😊
Self-love and grace. It's the journey, not the destination. You're amazing! Someone is going to need those shirts :)
Erika, please, please don't be too down on yourself over the tee-shirts! You've been doing so beautifully on your minimalism journey. Really amazingly. Those tee-shirts were just a minor blip on the radar of life. Believe me, we all have those! 😜❤😘
I have gone through this emotional guilt. You are a wise woman. I like how you think. I’m that open space, I would put my jewelry box or something pretty or a family picture or a nice quote in a frame. I would donate to a homeless or women shelter.
You are amazing❤ so real and honest. You are truly a blessing to me. You show us that we all still mess things up, we can accept it and move on. Thank you for that.❤
You are NOT your mistakes. Grace!
I purged this summer and I wore the same tank tops , shorts and leggings all summer… it was awesome now fall will be the same but I need pants now… it’s a no stop process.
I’ve done the same thing recently. We all have these moments! Big hugs!
You are doing great. Thanks for sharing. Just immediately put in donate box or bag, never hold them when getting rid of them.
Omigosh Erica. I’ve been decluttering since 2016 and I STILL occasionally screw up and buy multiples of items I won’t wear. The last time I did it was with knock off Birkenstocks. $70 isn’t bad for a valuable lesson!
Please give yourself some grace. I appreciate your videos and you sharing your journey.
Of course I’ve never met you, but I feel like I know you because I am you! Your honesty and vulnerability is one of the reasons I love your channel so much. Thank you for putting yourself out there. It helps me in so many ways.
This is so relatable. I have done this type of thing a lot, and today was just beating myself up for it.❤❤
Ohhh, Erica, I'm in the same boat!! We moved out of state two years ago, knowing that renting was going to be temporary. After awhile I started to feel depressed, thinking we would never have our own house, so I bought and bought and bought decor to make me feel better. Well, we just bought a house, and I am feeling so overwhelmed and so guilty, mad, and sad at myself for buying so much stuff and falling back into my old habits.
Hey! Give yourself some grace. You’re grieving the losses of your loved ones and sometimes that means we revert back to old habits and don’t realize what we are doing. It will be ok and you’re learning from your mistakes. Thanks for your honesty and openness.
Broken heart shopping. Been there, we’ve all done it. Your donating them ! Your amazing!
Catching up on some older videos as well and really want you to see this about library books, so leaving it here!
We struggled just as you described. What has been working well for us is
A bag in the cost closet they go in when ready to return. A basket in a cubical organizer in the living room while still reading. Now, they are all over the house at all
Times of day and night…but when I say ok let’s do a 5 minute pickup, everyone knows where they go. Yes, they are left beside beds and on the kitchen counter sometimes…but when it’s cleanup
Time, we at least know where to put them. Hope this helps!
Oh Sister! ❤ we all have these times in our life.
I am so grateful that God brought you to UA-cam and your heart to share and work through this. I just said this week I need to tackle my closet! And I so appreciate you saying about investing in clothes that make us feel good even our bumming around the house! I need to do this!! ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏 continues prayers for your grief ❤❤❤
For helping me deal with my emotional regrets ❤ I appreciate you so much Erica 🤗
Hugs, I believe the fact that you recognized the fact they didn’t bring you comfort in wearing them is the biggest lesson in letting go. Yes you bought what you felt you needed for your body at the time however that did change after washing. I get this totally, I went through this exact issue & took back the item to the store & explained what happened they didn’t want to take the item but but I insisted as a cold wash & hang air dry it shrunk & the color faded I wasn’t able to wear.
I understand about the money spent & that is hard to reconcile but that is in the past, all we can do now is give thanks for the item & donate or give away to someone else who could use that item. ❤❤❤❤
I admire your vulnerability. I think your grief from the loss of your brother and mom might play apart in over shopping etc. Grief sneaks in many ways.
SO RELATABLE 🤗🤗
Excited to watch, I'm avoiding my next closet clean-out. The financial guilt is real 😭
You managed this so well, thanks for sharing!
I feel the same, but we will get through it
that's what I was thinking, maybe it was during a time of grief. Give yourself some grace. You're handling it now!
Oh, Erica - I feel you girl!
My first thought was grief. I am relating hard to this. I’ve spent nearly two years walking through the fog of losing two of the most important people in my life-essentially my support system. Grief takes so much mental space that we don’t have the energy to make careful decisions about everything. Hugs to you...
💜 dear erica, be kind to yourself! with the lesson learned + the donation they have even served a double purpose! am on a decluttering journey myself. you can be so proud! love from germany!
Thank you for this real moment. I have been there and I've been at this for 5 years. I love how you talked through it. I just went through my closet again feeling the same way.
January 2024. I've never had or wanted many clothes. I've been trying to be a minimalist since 2015. I still buy things every so often that are mistakes. We are human and we learn and we grow. I'm 74, I'm still learning and growing. Don't beat yourself up. Tina, Al's wife
You can be more generous with yourself. Living is a process, we seldom reach a
destination. You are a good role model showing people that it’s not easy to declutter. We are joining the process with you.
Not everything works for every person, I know, but I am wondering if you might be like me; my life changed the day I decided not to fold anything - not a single thing. I hang everything, including pants. The only items I keep in drawers are undergarments. For me, the visuals of the open shelves would undo me as they are impossible to keep looking crisp and tidy. Wondering if that’s part of the issue for you?
I really like this thought. Often it helps, when someone tells us this. Thank you
I've found it's better to say "Next time" rather than " I should have." We all slip up when we're really stressed out. Look how far you've come! Forgive yourself and look forward.
Forward motion in decluttering is a win, no matter how you get there. Good job!
Do you remember what was happening just BEFORE you had the impulse buy?
And I agree with the bit of grace for yourself..ONE slip in 4 years is pretty great!
Hi Erica, at the time the shirts made complete sense. you had a need, it was thought out, and it was a good price. Please dont beat yourself up over this. big hugs!
I love your heart so much! I also know that everyone here has several of the same stories to tell. Three weeks after my sister died, my mom and i were going through a car wash where i jumped the side rail and got stuck. I instinctively put the van in reverse and backed right into a brick pillar. Horrified, i drove across the street to park at a grocery store to collect myself. Shortly thereafter, a policeman approached my car and asked me about a "hit and run" that someone who saw me had called in! I lost it and cried all over that poor man, saying repeatedly, "My sister just died." It was all fine in the end, but i learned that sometimes we do strang things when we're stressed or upset. Thank you for being you, and allowing us to share in some of your experiences. ❤
We all do this sometimes bored sad you're had 2 losses it's a way of keeping your mind busy ❤
You're doing good, you're doing great. Been there, done that. 😮
Don’t beat yourself up Erica, just learn from it, I think the moral of this story is washing, if we wash everyday we don’t need the volume of clothes that we think we need, sometimes clothes only need a 15min. Cycle. I have a nappy bucket with a bit of bleach and washing powder in that I put all of my whites when the bucket is full then I put them through a 15min cycle. Admittedly I only have hubby and myself. Sometimes it takes us years to find the solutions when I was younger I had washing from here to next week, the answer would have been buy less clothes. Take care dear you are doing a good job.
We could be besties. Wish we could declutter with each other. We could support and laugh it off with each other. I totally understand your purpose.
Love you !
You are doing great. It’s hard to admit when we do things that we look back on and realize they were mistakes. Most of us do this and you are inspiring in your candor.
Loss does so much to us and for a long time. Think how much someone else will enjoy those shirts 😊
Don’t be so hard on yourself. 🤗🌺 Everyone makes mistakes and we are not perfect. I got into minimalism 2017 but this summer I still bought a dress online AND got my mum to fix it so it would fit me better, before I decided I didn’t really want that dress or felt like myself in it. So I gave it away.. yeah.. Felt bad about that, but now it’s gone I feel a lot better!
Thanks for sharing your vulnerability & thinking process.
Good job! Painful as it was to "throw away" money, it's no longer a constant reminder in your closet. That is a victory in itself. You're in a time of grief and you need to be kind to yourself. Rejoice in the blessing those tops will be to someone. I do love the green color of that top on you, not many can wear it. Take care, Linda 🦋
Processing is so important, but also you have dealt with two traumas so recently and you need to give yourself grace! You know what, 14 cheap t-shirts during grief and stress and changing bodies sounds pretty reasonable to me! I tell people starting cancer treatment (from experience) to choose the easy things--like paper plates and plasticware for meals. It is just for a season. And we will always make mistakes on our journey--give yourself the grace you would tell your daughter to give herself!
Erica, this has been a really hard year for you with the loss of your mother. You didn’t re-hoard your house, you bought some t-shirts. It’s fine ❤
Thank you Erica, I will save and watch this tomorrow while decluttering my overflowing closet.
I did that too, when I was in deep grief, after my husband past away in december 2018. So pleas, don't beat yorself up for this. You do great, Erika. Whit love from Norway.
Good job taking to donate right away!
Thank you for being real, so proud of you! They will definitely help someone in need.
More frustrating than buying too many is the quality, fit, and feel after washing. I understand the sizing issue, not sure what will fit. I remind myself to immediately address returns. I am always impressed with your wardrobe videos.
Erica, you have been through a lot recently. Give yourself some grace.
Good data to carry with you going forward. Valuable lesson you paid for and get to keep apart from the items themselves. You prefer the tank tops under shirts 👍 you know the feeling of the material you DO and DO NOT LIKE after washing 👍
Oh, Erica, you are such an inspiration to me. Through years of putting myself last, I immediately went to the clearance section of any store or website. I would buy in bulk, so at least I would have something to wear. It didn't matter whether I liked it or how it felt. Now that I have decluttered my closet (and no longer put myself last), I am seeing that a few quality items are more satisfying than bulk clearance buying. I know what fabrics and styles I like, and I pass up anything else, even if I think it is pretty or trendy. The better-quality items last longer, as well. I had to give myself a lot of grace, and I hope you will, too.
Erica, it’s ok. It’s ok. It is okay. *sending virtual hugs*
Thank you for sharing your journey!! I am getting ready to move and you are helping me to get rid of stuff and not feel guilty!!! Thanks
Erika - I love how REAL you are and how you use these situations (that we ALL fall prey to) to learn. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. There are so many times - like with this video - that I’m nodding along & saying out loud “Oh girl - I soooooo hear you!!” And the thinking out loud is something I find enormously helpful too. I’m always processing out loud! You go girl! You are a blessing and I have learned some great strategies from you. ❤️ (P.S. And the buying multiples thing? Ummm yeah - Guilty as charged over here!)
Hi Erica - I've learned recently that when we go through a trauma we revert to what we know and what is comfortable....so just take comfort in knowing buying those T-shirts makes sense....give yourself grace!
O look! Yt just showed me this again. ❤
I do the same thing!!!!! 10 years in❤
You still give a LOT of thought to purchases you may make (i.e., the drawer unit you're considering for the schoolroom) so cut yourself some slack. Focus on how far you've come in just four years. Great job!
I just wanted to give you a big big hug!
Erica, we love you. You're too hard on yourself. You're just a human and you've had a lot going on in your life this past year. No one has judged you, probably not even your family! I like to imagine in this situation, some woman finding your stash of t-shirts and getting so excited for the great deal she found. (or donation).
Aside: I've tried to stop buying "fast fashion" and pick pieces that I know will last me for years. If that means I buy a $100 shirt, then I have a shirt that will last a long time and will be timeless. I also found a local boutique that specializes in designer stuff (usually very good quality) that's thrifted, so I can get the $100 shirt for $20. and I make sure that I try it on!
slowly my closet is turning from places like walmart and amazon to designer brands, and almost the same price.
One time I heard someone say ‘I would rather have one thing I love and use than several things that I kind of like and are inexpensive. That resonated with me because I would buy things based on price and not how much I liked them. Now I am super careful about my purchases. Quality and fit are first priority. Your video was such a good lesson for all of us so don’t feel bad. I recently ordered a dress that looked so good on the model. The fabric and fit were terrible so I threw it in the donation box. Going through a return was way too exhausting for me at my age.
Thanks for sharing thought process.
It was challenging to watch how hard you were on yourself. But I could also relate. We all make these mistakes.
What I found is that those things really bother me while they're still there and reminding me constantly. And of course the moment of decluttering itself is really hard. BUT when the item(s) is/are gone I rarely think of them AND the negative feelings (e.g. regret) anymore. This has made me more ruthless. The money is gone anyway. So why not just start over?
Edit: I didn't know that you lost your brother. I'm so sorry for you. As others said before me, it is only natural to regress to our old coping mechanisms in stressful times. 🌻