I completely understand the trauma that instills itself when efforts to communicate are not listened to, or not even recognized. For myself, people didn't understand my communication efforts (I was nonspeaking, without a reliable means of communication at the time), and I was instructed to have, "nice mouth, nice hands," etc., when I was simply trying cope and demonstrate that I was struggling in the current environment. Great topic.
Perhaps we can make a distinction between behaviors that are harmless but considered inappropriate (hand flapping, jumping, spinning, other self stimulatory behaviors) and violent behaviors that are used to manipulate others. Temple Grandin is a women with autism who gives lots of speeches and she said that parents of kids with Autism need to know the difference of when their children are being nauty and when the child is having a meltdown.
@@BS-vt5ti Temple Grandin experiences autism in her own way, and is not an authority on behaviour, nor on autism. Often, for people like me (I'm nonspeaking), our attempts to communicate our discomfort go unnoticed, or ignored. It is difficult to understand, but I will try to explain: When the sensory environment is overwhelming, I might begin to hum, or flap, or jump, or what-have-you...and I do so in order to compete with and cope with the type of overload which can send me into a meltdown. It will typically begin mildly (my coping measures as mentioned above), and will amp up as the layers of sensory stimuli begins to accumulate--or if people direct me to "stop" my coping measures. If I am able to use my strategies early, I can let off the tension or pressure I am experiencing. If I am prevented from doing so, the pressure will continue to build, until I can no longer cope. (sometimes people believe the "behaviour" came out of nowhere, but it had been building, and the noise, or buzzing lights, or sudden movement of others can be the last straw). What then happens is what people refer to as "challenging behaviours"--and even the dreaded meltdown can occur, which I had been trying to avoid. Now, I realize many people believe these are intentional manipulations (to "get my own way:). Not so. Agitated, repetitive talking, grimacing, resistance to direction, etc., are all examples of coping which has escalated--due to extreme necessity. Control over my body begins to diminish, and it is terrifying. I can feel the meltdown building, and the pressure is beginning to build so strongly! It is an attempt to avoid pain, not a deliberate manipulation of others for self-gain. The last thing I would want to do is hurt anyone. Maybe you can imagine my sensory distress as someone holding your hand on a hot stove--and asking you to behave yourself while your hand is burning. You would lose control of your actions, because the pain is too much. Imagine your hand is burning, and people are barking orders, or ignoring you.... While I know this seems an extreme example, sensory discomfort can actually feel like this. It is devastating to have a meltdown, and is never a deliberate, naughty act.
@@damonkirsebom3243 Thank you so much for explaining this all so clearly and so articulate. You seem like a person who has theory of mind and can put yourself into another person's perspective. You wrote that you are non-speaking. You can communicate so well in writing! You can never talk with your voice?
@@BS-vt5ti I'd like to say that not all violent behaviours are "used to manipulate others", often it's due to extreme psychological distress and not having a constructive way to express / deal with it.
I miss this channel! I knew it was coming to an end as the year wrapped up, but I thought there was some content still left. Thank you for making this valuable resource, it’s been really helpful and affirming. I would love to connect more with previous presenters, if there’s any follow up to this channel please lmk!
We definitely need to be more empathetic to kids with autism and we need to understand how much we can push kids. At the same time, violent behaviors and hurtful behaviors should never be excused. There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is never acceptable. Autism can be an excuse for not performing and not producing what a typical child can do, but it can not become an excuse for violent behaviors. People can always find excuses to hurt others if they wanted to...
Baila Stober, Don't you think triggering violence is violence? If it was a meltdown, it wasn't abuse as meltdowns are beyond the individual's control, however, it is abuse to ignore a person in pain.
@@danielmoore4024 We all need to be honest with ourselves and really think about how much is in our control. I once read that the price of freedom is responsibility. We definitely all need to try our best to care about another person's feelings. We all should not be acting in ways that would knowingly hurt another person. At the same time, we are all humans. Humans can sometimes accidentally trigger another person. Humans can sometimes accidentally overload a person. Humans can not be expected to be mind-readers. Even if you can say that another person was the one who triggered violence, that is NOT an excuse to respond by acting with violence. The adult definitely has more power and would do well to understand where the child's behaviors are coming from. Robert Thurman said, "Hatred will never put an end to hatred, violence will never put an end to violence. only love can put an end to hatred, and only non- violence and gentleness can put an end to violence." I am hoping that the goal here is to preserve understanding and caring for all children and all people. I believe that all children deserve to be treated with love and understanding. I believe that parents and teachers should try to care about and try to understand the child needs. I also believe that violent behaviors should not be excused. With the privilege of freedom comes responsibility. A person who blames others for their own actions is saying that they are not ready to have control of themselves and is not ready for full freedom.
@@BS-vt5ti Meltdowns are unconscious behaviours, we do not choose to have meltdowns, they're biological responses. So if anyone is to be blamed for a meltdown it's those who ignored and triggered it. According to what you've written you have no freedom, are you choosing to breathe or is it all happening unconsciously due to the autonomic nervous system? Please share with me how we can stop an autistic person's autonomic nervous system.
@@danielmoore4024 I get it that you believe that meltdowns are completely unconscious behaviors compared to breathing. Are you saying that people with autism are just like animals and cannot control their behaviors? If that is what you are saying, then maybe you are giving proof for neurotypical people that people with autism or if you prefer autistic people are not equally human and therefore do not deserve the same rights as other humans. I don't have any good solutions to help prevent meltdowns. I am not a scientist and I have limited knowledge about the biology or psychology of humans. I do know that wild and dangerous animals who do not have control over their behaviors do not live among people who do have the ability to control their behaviors. I would be scared to live amongst people who cannot control their violent behaviors. Would you like to walk in the streets and be violently attacked by some person who had a meltdown over something?
@@BS-vt5ti I am talking specifically meltdowns, how do people control unconscious behaviours? I would appreciate an answer, if you can't provide one it only proves there's no one to be blamed for meltdowns. I'll ask again, how can people control unconscious behaviours?
If he lived in Serbia, he would feel like me when I asked local ,,authorities " about the local budget . Greetings for nice guy. ❤️❤️❤️
I completely understand the trauma that instills itself when efforts to communicate are not listened to, or not even recognized. For myself, people didn't understand my communication efforts (I was nonspeaking, without a reliable means of communication at the time), and I was instructed to have, "nice mouth, nice hands," etc., when I was simply trying cope and demonstrate that I was struggling in the current environment. Great topic.
Perhaps we can make a distinction between behaviors that are harmless but considered inappropriate (hand flapping, jumping, spinning, other self stimulatory behaviors) and violent behaviors that are used to manipulate others. Temple Grandin is a women with autism who gives lots of speeches and she said that parents of kids with Autism need to know the difference of when their children are being nauty and when the child is having a meltdown.
@@BS-vt5ti Temple Grandin experiences autism in her own way, and is not an authority on behaviour, nor on autism. Often, for people like me (I'm nonspeaking), our attempts to communicate our discomfort go unnoticed, or ignored. It is difficult to understand, but I will try to explain: When the sensory environment is overwhelming, I might begin to hum, or flap, or jump, or what-have-you...and I do so in order to compete with and cope with the type of overload which can send me into a meltdown. It will typically begin mildly (my coping measures as mentioned above), and will amp up as the layers of sensory stimuli begins to accumulate--or if people direct me to "stop" my coping measures. If I am able to use my strategies early, I can let off the tension or pressure I am experiencing. If I am prevented from doing so, the pressure will continue to build, until I can no longer cope. (sometimes people believe the "behaviour" came out of nowhere, but it had been building, and the noise, or buzzing lights, or sudden movement of others can be the last straw). What then happens is what people refer to as "challenging behaviours"--and even the dreaded meltdown can occur, which I had been trying to avoid. Now, I realize many people believe these are intentional manipulations (to "get my own way:). Not so. Agitated, repetitive talking, grimacing, resistance to direction, etc., are all examples of coping which has escalated--due to extreme necessity. Control over my body begins to diminish, and it is terrifying. I can feel the meltdown building, and the pressure is beginning to build so strongly! It is an attempt to avoid pain, not a deliberate manipulation of others for self-gain. The last thing I would want to do is hurt anyone. Maybe you can imagine my sensory distress as someone holding your hand on a hot stove--and asking you to behave yourself while your hand is burning. You would lose control of your actions, because the pain is too much. Imagine your hand is burning, and people are barking orders, or ignoring you....
While I know this seems an extreme example, sensory discomfort can actually feel like this. It is devastating to have a meltdown, and is never a deliberate, naughty act.
@@damonkirsebom3243 Thank you so much for explaining this all so clearly and so articulate. You seem like a person who has theory of mind and can put yourself into another person's perspective. You wrote that you are non-speaking. You can communicate so well in writing!
You can never talk with your voice?
@@BS-vt5ti I'd like to say that not all violent behaviours are "used to manipulate others", often it's due to extreme psychological distress and not having a constructive way to express / deal with it.
I miss this channel! I knew it was coming to an end as the year wrapped up, but I thought there was some content still left. Thank you for making this valuable resource, it’s been really helpful and affirming. I would love to connect more with previous presenters, if there’s any follow up to this channel please lmk!
Physical restraint on a kid? Oh wow!
We definitely need to be more empathetic to kids with autism and we need to understand how much we can push kids. At the same time, violent behaviors and hurtful behaviors should never be excused. There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is never acceptable.
Autism can be an excuse for not performing and not producing what a typical child can do, but it can not become an excuse for violent behaviors.
People can always find excuses to hurt others if they wanted to...
Baila Stober,
Don't you think triggering violence is violence?
If it was a meltdown, it wasn't abuse as meltdowns are beyond the individual's control, however, it is abuse to ignore a person in pain.
@@danielmoore4024
We all need to be honest with ourselves and really think about how much is in our control. I once read that the price of freedom is responsibility. We definitely all need to try our best to care about another person's feelings. We all should not be acting in ways that would knowingly hurt another person. At the same time, we are all humans. Humans can sometimes accidentally trigger another person. Humans can sometimes accidentally overload a person. Humans can not be expected to be mind-readers. Even if you can say that another person was the one who triggered violence, that is NOT an excuse to respond by acting with violence. The adult definitely has more power and would do well to understand where the child's behaviors are coming from. Robert Thurman said, "Hatred will never put an end to hatred, violence will never put an end to violence. only love can put an end to hatred, and only non- violence and gentleness can put an end to violence."
I am hoping that the goal here is to preserve understanding and caring for all children and all people. I believe that all children deserve to be treated with love and understanding. I believe that parents and teachers should try to care about and try to understand the child needs. I also believe that violent behaviors should not be excused. With the privilege of freedom comes responsibility. A person who blames others for their own actions is saying that they are not ready to have control of themselves and is not ready for full freedom.
@@BS-vt5ti
Meltdowns are unconscious behaviours, we do not choose to have meltdowns, they're biological responses.
So if anyone is to be blamed for a meltdown it's those who ignored and triggered it.
According to what you've written you have no freedom, are you choosing to breathe or is it all happening unconsciously due to the autonomic nervous system?
Please share with me how we can stop an autistic person's autonomic nervous system.
@@danielmoore4024
I get it that you believe that meltdowns are completely unconscious behaviors compared to breathing. Are you saying that people with autism are just like animals and cannot control their behaviors? If that is what you are saying, then maybe you are giving proof for neurotypical people that people with autism or if you prefer autistic people are not equally human and therefore do not deserve the same rights as other humans.
I don't have any good solutions to help prevent meltdowns. I am not a scientist and I have limited knowledge about the biology or psychology of humans. I do know that wild and dangerous animals who do not have control over their behaviors do not live among people who do have the ability to control their behaviors. I would be scared to live amongst people who cannot control their violent behaviors.
Would you like to walk in the streets and be violently attacked by some person who had a meltdown over something?
@@BS-vt5ti
I am talking specifically meltdowns, how do people control unconscious behaviours?
I would appreciate an answer, if you can't provide one it only proves there's no one to be blamed for meltdowns.
I'll ask again, how can people control unconscious behaviours?
i need help . i’m disabled in new jersey live alone and can’t find any resources for working as an autistic adult..
Hey did you ever find any resources? Are you doing okay?