Lorelai Gilmore: Hyper-Independence, The "Cool Mum" and Trauma
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- In this video, we'll take a look at Lorelai Gilmore's character development throughout the series and discuss how her trauma and parental neglect has led her to become a super independent woman. We'll discuss her storylines, how she handles relationships and why she's someone to sympathise with (I'm sick of people calling her a spoilt child). I hope that this video helps anyone who can relate to having harsh or neglectful parents like she did.
timestamps-
00:00 intro
00:47 trauma
07:42 Stars Hollow
11:17 parental neglect
24:44 effects on Lorelai
30:22 Eating Habits
36:59 the “cool mum”
52:54 commitment phobe
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My video about Rory Gilmore's downfall:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYRNx...
My Logan & Rory analysis:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFZ23...
More from me:
my Gilmore girls playlist:
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Emily in Paris:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p-_a...
Desperate Housewives playlist:
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Euphoria (Cassie Howard analysis)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyIha...
Pretty Little Liars playlist:
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'You': why we root for Joe Goldberg:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTPXN...
Emily in Paris (s2):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhfdK...
Scream Queens
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0784...
Sources
psychcentral.com/blog/recover...
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psychcentral.com/ptsd/signs-t...
In this video I wear and recommend:
○ Sephora foundation brush (vegan) EU bit.ly/3JbC9IF USA bit.ly/3qnapbd
L'Oreal Paris Telescopic Mascara UK bit.ly/3qpQfx9 USA bit.ly/3sEhIxQ
○ Makeup Revolution Reloaded Eyeshadow Palette Sugar Pie
UK bit.ly/3GAYArO USA bit.ly/3EQJwVH Canada bit.ly/3gqxRUa
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○ Maybelline dream radiant foundation UK bit.ly/3H7KUS3 EU bit.ly/3qr4MJj USA bit.ly/3swBX0s
○ Sephora lip liner 'the red' EU bit.ly/3mtcmBG USA bit.ly/32msTRe
//MY RECORDING EQUIPMENT
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My lipstick in today's video is Paris Atelier Lipstick in the shade Cerise Rebelle. I'm struggling to find a link to it online for some reason, the website I linked used to work but now for some reason doesn't seem to be.
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Disclaimer: links included in this description are affiliate links. If you purchase a product/service with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you! Thank you for supporting my channel 💓
My lipstick in today's video is Paris Atelier Lipstick in the shade Cerise Rebelle. I'm struggling to find a link to it online for some reason, the website I linked used to work but now for some reason doesn't seem to be.
UK bit.ly/3JuASeR
US bit.ly/3ClIBJR
Disclaimer: links included in this description are affiliate links. If you purchase a product/service with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you! Thank you for supporting my channel 💓
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lauren graham, a year in the life revival, alexis bledel, lorelai gilmore, emily and richard, amy sherman-palladino, milo Ventimiglia, sookie st james, luke danes, jared padalecki, matt czuchry. the vampire diaries, pretty little liars, gossip girl, chuck bass, Emily in paris, rory gilmore, Lorelai and luke, dean, Amy Sherman-Palladino, Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Melissa McCarthy, Jared Padalecki, Milo Ventimiglia, jess Mariano, dean forester, why logan is perfect for rory, character analysis, Emily and Richard. Stars hollow. Season 7 finale. A year in the life Netflix revival. Maddy Perez euphoria, Lily Collins Emily Cooper, carrie bradshaw, Riverdale, Serena Van Der Woodsen, Twilight, Lili Reinhart, Aria Montgomery. Wednesday with jenna Ortega, penn badgley. Luke danes, lane kim. Rory- the OG annoying millenial by the take. in defence of rory. why everyone hates rory. Rory's downfall by trinity tay. the exact moment rory's downfall begins. character analysis. a deep dive and video essay about gilmore girls series. serena skybourne gilmore girls. deeep dive. - Розваги
Hey everyone! Just a disclaimer. I've had a couple of people say that I'm depicting Lorelai as dysfunctional, or that I'm 'judging her'. Even though it's pretty obvious in this video, I need to re-iterate that I have the utmost appreciation of her character. She's incredibly charming and funny. I'm not shaming her for struggling with things, or being avoidant, nor am I shaming viewers who are similar to her. The purpose of this video was to go into Lorelai's family background, and more psychology-related things that could explain her behaviour. She's definitely avoidant of commitment, and has unresolved trauma, but that's what makes her so relatable and well-written. She is so normal. Everyone has a story, everyone has a way of handling their own demons or difficulties. I know people who had similar parents to Lorelai and suffered because of it for years, so this video is very close to my heart and it's one of the reasons I root for Lorelai so much. So to anyone saying I'm shaming her- it's literally the opposite.
On a separate note- the dress I'm wearing is from Pretty Little Thing! 💅🔥 A lot of you have been asking. I love it, the ties are adjustable so it's flexible for different body types. I did buy it second-hand though, I'm avoiding buying stuff new for environmental reasons.
You did a beautiful job not only with this video but also with the previous ones.
@@LuisanaRamirez Thanks Luisana... I loved making this video so much, it's one of my favourites
I'd love to see your analysis on Emily, Mrs. Kim, and Sookie. Three different types of moms and passion driven women.
Also, check out my Gilmore Girls playlist!
ua-cam.com/play/PLuSzD48caIGvgo3VWCFv4Q4SBiRnC9IuV.html&feature=shares
The irony is she is dysfunctional that's why she's a good character she's got flaws she's human she's relatable that's a wonderful thing I loved the way you've done your video as it's critical in a actual analysis way not a I hate this character and I'm going to spend an hour explaining why way
Extreme independence is often a trauma response to not having your needs met as a child. Lorelai is proof you can have your physical needs met entirely but still be neglected in a way.
Yes, even though financially she was met, she wasn’t supported emotionally
I felt that
@@SerenaSkybourne emotionally is more important than money.
@@vanilla6888 I Can't agree more to that!
@@vanilla6888I agree
I hated Chris so much when he was overwhelmed with Gigi. He had a Nanny. The nanny has one night off and he calls Lorelei. He can't take Care of his kid for one night
yeah i forgot he had a nanny haha, he rly was overwhelmed by everything
Such a man child like oh my …
Oh my God my kid is so unmanageable and for some reason the girl I force to take care of her 6 days a week won't answer her phone!?!?
@@alvafairchild13 yeah the horror. A father who has to take care of his own child I hates him so much that episode
Ya that episode made me mad. Like dude you can't handle a toddler for the evening? Um nope.
I never really liked his character. Like ever. He just came into their lives when it was convenient for him. And would just leave. Like dude you have a daughter what are you doing? Even just consistent phone calls would have been better than what he did. 😂
I think the reason why Lorelai can only see Rory as an angel and refuse to admit that she’s not perfect is because she dedicated her life to her, Rory is everything to Lorelai, her whole world. Sometimes when we love someone, we stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that that person is not perfect.
I'm going to reference this for every parasocial relationship argument it's perfect
She didn't really grow up, sometimes it feels like she's living her life through Rory like going to Harvard or a prestigious university, travelling the world without responsibilities etc. It seems like Rory's her life project of things she wasn't able to do after she got pregnant.. So in Year in the Life, it's bit ironic that Rory ended without a job in her thirties, homeless and pregnant even though Lorelei made sure to raise her away from Richard and Emily.. maybe because a lot of times she acted like a friend to Rory instead of a parent..
@@raissalianna889 she’s not homeless she has a home with lorelei and Luke / probably 10 other people if she wanted also being pregnant at 30 or late twenties is really not that shocking
I mean Lorelai has a home with her parents too like Rory can always stay with Lorelai and Luke if she wanted and when I compared her being pregnant with Lorelai being pregnant before they were both unprepared, obviously Rory has it better because at 32 she has more stability than Lorelai did when she was sixteen but she'll probably follow in Lorelai's footsteps of raising her baby on her own that's what I meant.@@rosepetal34
I've always wondered whether Lorelai wanted to see Rory as an angel because her parents always seemed to view her as the opposite. She was always viewed as a screw up and could never get it right, she was never good enough and so she was determined to never make Rory feel that way, the way Emily and Richard made her feel.
Have you noticed those few times when her parents were genuinely proud for her and said somehting nice to her she would say (with a surprised and emotional voice) Thank you mum/dad. That shows how she craved their approval even though she always rebels against them.
Yeah but how many times did they say that to her. She probably didnt hear that growing up.
@@lauriecarson6483 lol exactly my point 😂 (those few times) that is why she was craving it
This makes so much sense!! That’s why she indulged Rory, compensating for the lack of approval from her childhood. Emily and Richard reinforce this.
Through the lens of Peter Pan Syndrome, we could also view Stars Hollow as Lorelai’s Neverland. A place she escaped to when she was pregnant with Rory. A place she could create her a new life, separate from the world she came from. A place she very much likes to keep from her mother and father. She thrives here in this fairytale-like town where everyone knows and loves her and her daughter.
thats really cute
As Rory regressed in maturity, and couldn't sort out her messy love life, Lorelai gradually matured, and made a commitment to Luke. Yes, she's still quirky and dramatic, but she's definitely grown a lot from when we first met her.
Yes lorelai has come along way
Yes for sure, we saw her taking steps in a positive direction, showing growth
To be honest, it almost felt like Rory did not need to be the mature one anymore because Lorelai grew up throughout the show. As soon as Rory and Lorelai didn't live together anymore, this mature shell falls off of Rory.
I felt that she almost had her life on hold until Rory was grown up and off out on her own
@@mumplaysthesims8396 ans
You really nailed the head when you noticed how Lorelai is always punished for opening up. This is something that gets me because so many people call Lorelai paranoid but when Lorelai is NOT paranoid she is punished. Yes, Lorelai is paranoid, but she is trained to be that way.
I'll NEVER understand WHY the writers had Lorelai randomly get back together with Christopher, and even briefly get married to him. It just made no sense.
Yeah it totally was so stupid that the writers did that
ASP leaving the show and the aftermath was a MESS. That’s the most elegant answer.
yeahhhhhhh
@@LuisanaRamirez for me, it was already a mess before ASP left. It felt like she built these characters only to tear them down. I much prefer season 7 to season 5 and 6.
And I mean, the revival??
@@imibee5184 THANK YOU. ASP made Lorelai cheat on Luke with Christopher. Season 7 was only trying to salvage the bad decisions of season 6
THANK YOU for talking about Rory's parentification -- so many people just ignore this or don't realize it with Rory's character! She gets so much hate and for why???
I agree.
I have a different interpretation of the scene where Lorelei is yelling at Luke after the car accident. I think that everything she's saying to him is what she actually feels about herself. "You have an obligation to me, to Rory, to this town. Why didn't you put a stop to it at the first sign of trouble?" She thinks that she has failed herself, Rory, and the town. She thinks that she should have put a stop to it. But as you said before, she can't handle feeling like any more of a failure than she already does, so she's projecting that onto Luke because she knows that Luke is her safe space.
I love this so much, and yeah I agree. She already is told 24/7 by her mum that she's a screw up, that she's negligent, I don't think she could handle anything else
@@SerenaSkybourne It certainly doesn't make it okay to speak to him that way, but I think it's a more charitable interpretation than her just being immature and going off on someone. She is broken.
It reminds me of the scene a few seasons later where her dog is sick and she is watching him sleep and crying about how she did everything wrong and should have taken better care of him. We know she's not talking about Paul Anka at all even though that's what her words are saying.
@@SerenaSkybourne It reminds me of the scene after rory is living with the grandparents and Lorelai is crying over Paul Anka the dog in rory's room bc he was sick or something, basically blaming herself for the dog being sick but in reality she was blaming herself for rory's situation.
I thought it paired well with the scene of Luke and TJ after Liz finds out she's pregnant. Like tells him that Liz isn't criticising TJ but actually herself
I don’t like how dismissive people are about Lorelai. They call her childish, irresponsible, but if you actually look at her actions, you can often see her being serious. There’s a theme where she’ll support lane with her self expression to an extent, though Rory points out she draws a hard line at lying to another mother. She does call out Rory, more than anyone else, but she’s also crazily supportive. She knows how others view her so will use that to her advantage, like when Rory met her paternal parents, they were being really critical and going after her, so Lorelai unprompted said something like ‘I hate Bush’ to refocus their disgust onto her. So while she wasn’t the best parent, she was a really good parent who nurtured compassion and responsibility into Rory.
yeah that bothers me so much. There have been so many times where Lorelai is capable of holding a serious conversation
my favorite was the conversation she had with Rory right after Rory slept with Dean. She didnt flinch away from saying the hard truth despite knowing it would upset Rory
she supported Lane in deceiving her mom other times.
@@RilianSharp because her mom was bonkers
@RilianSharp lorelai knew that lane was going to rebel with or without her help; and knew that her own rebellion didn't end the way she intended.
She kept an eye on lane during her childhood to ensure that her rebellion was safe and that lane had an adult she could get help from if things got bad without risking her shelter, financial support and relationship with her parents.
Lorelai did all that without letting on to lane that she was being supervised AND while communicating clear reasonable boundaries to lane - "I don't lie to your mother about where you are or what state you're in, because as a mother, I need to know where + what state my kid is in" - lorelai helped lane develop into the mature and responsible teen/adult she became, thanks to the support, supervision + safety net that she provided
I don’t think Rory was manipulating her Grandpa when she came to him crying. I think she was having a genuine break down and needed support.
She was pushed to be this high achiever amazing student her whole life and was told Ivy League education was her destiny. She was also very sheltered and always told how amazing she is and how she can do anything. When Mitchum intentional knocked her down, it just shattered her and made her reevaluate everything. She sadly didn’t have the internal framework to take that kind of criticism and bounce right back. She then behaved horribly and committed a serious crime.
I think her wanting to take off time from school and reevaluate her goals was probably a needed decision. She didn’t even finish her last exam and just spaced out instead. She probably felt like if she didn’t take time off she would spiral even more or could even flunk out instead. I think she couldn’t handle school at that moment and just felt paralyzed and lost. I don’t think she was trying to manipulate her Grandpa to get her way. I think she truly believed she needed time off.
I think it just scared everyone to see amazing Rory fail so tremendously and then lose the will to get back up for quite sometime. Sometimes people need a break before they go back to their goals.
She does have manipulative tendencies though
Totally. I actually think that the way Lorelai reacted was def. her worst parenting moment. She reacted in a very Emily kind of way, dissmisive and authoritative, without letting Rory explain herself. Besides that I don‘t think that Rory wanting to take a break was such a horrible thing. The stealing the yacht part yes, obv., but she regretted that. She said she wanted to work and take some time of to figure things out, seems totally legit to me.
I think it was very manipulative of Lorelai to go to her parents like that, however I also think that Richard and Emily were horrible and way out of line shutting Lorelai out like that and later kinda gaslighting her.
I actually totally agree with you, though I will say that it's possible to be emotionally manipulative without intending to do so.
@@TheMarkmcr only you would think so cause you hate Rory.
Amen.
I did have my moments of feeling for Richard and Emily, but with regard to Lorelai I totally get why she stayed away for so many years. They wanted a clone, not a child and Lorelai suffered. Plus, I’ve often thought that Lorelai never realized how much she was like Jess. Sarcastic, stubborn, lousy home life, all Jess was missing was the teen pregnancy but he did forge his own path like Lorelai and become a successful adult. It’s pretty interesting if you buy the theory that we choose partners like our parents.
Something fascinating I learned recently is that there are many common symptoms between trauma/ptsd and ADHD. It causes a more common misdiagnosis in children, but adults as well
One thing I disagree about is Lorelai's reaction to Dean. She wasn't intimidated by his leather jacket, the jacket instantly reminded her of Christopher (they even had Dean riding a motorcycle in the beginning just like Chris did, though they dropped that a couple episodes in). She wasn't really worried that he was "bad news" so much as she was worried that Rory would end up dropping everything for him and maybe even getting pregnant, just like she did. I think it was much more a sign of her projecting onto Rory; she even yelled about not wanting Rory to "throw her life away."
And her allowing Rory to be with Dean after this wasn't a sign of her being a pushover as a mom; I actually think it would've been pretty controlling if she didn't allow her 16 year old to date (also, this almost never works anyway lol). She was okay with it because 1. Rory was no longer trying to give up on Chilton for Dean and 2. She met Dean, made sure he knew how protective she was of Rory, and saw that (at least at the time) he was a kind partner to her.
I do agree that Lorelai often let Rory get away with too much, but I don't think Rory and Dean dating in the first season is an example of this. I think that she actually did a pretty great job of making sure he was a trustworthy person to be with her daughter and created a safe environment for her to explore dating without being *too* permissive.
You raise so many good points… This has to be my favorite video of yours to date. When you went into how Richard and Emily does not respect Lorelei‘s parenting, using the example when Rory dropped out of Yale, and how she was gaslighted after the fact, this was an analysis that I hadn’t realized before, although I had seen the show many times. You explained beautifully why Lorelai didn’t trust her parents, even when they showed kindness, because Lorelei couldn’t trust their motives due to previous trauma. Well done!
Thankyou for the kind words 💖 This is my favourite video as well, I felt so passionate about the topic. And in terms of the Yale-gaslighting thing, you have no idea how much it angered me the first time I saw it haha. Seriously, I wanted to throw something at my TV screen 😂😂
the writers did a really good job at showing how her desire for independence (from childhood trauma) led to her adult commitment issues - amazing video as always babe xx
Thanks babe 💅❤️
I don't like the phrase 'commitment issues' because it sounds like a personal failing with no cause. I think 'trapped issues' is more accurate because when you grow up in a toxic environment it's your only frame of reference. The fear of being locked in a poison environment again is real, there's never any peace of mind. You're always ready to bolt because you've learned being alone is always preferable to being in bad company, even if it's not warranted, it's imprinted.
@@ennuiblue4295 yess her struggle to commit does cause problems and was an 'issue' but i get what you're saying here, as in she did have a cause and a legit reason to be cautious. "Trapped" and "suffocated" is more accurate to her situation
I agree with most of the comments on here, you never really shake trauma. You can try to Bury it and put a mask over it that you show to the world, but it's always part of you at the core. It makes perfect sense that lorelai would try to live vicariously through Rory as a result of this. Thanks as always for the video serena, very insightful and I'm now looking at lorelai with different eyes
aww i'm so happy you liked it!
I think your food analysis sectioned unlocked something I had never noticed about my own eating habits. I eat whenever I feel unseen or unheard because the food I choose is so linked to my identity in some way that it feels like an affirming action, even if I’m not hungry.
can i just say as someone who grew up in a gilmore girls obsessed family, watching your takes on the characters and your analysis of the show is so fun for me! so many things fly over my head and you pick up on them and it makes for such great content. keep it up x
omg babeeee thankyou!
Please please please do a deep dive in some of the dialogue of the earlier seasons.
Literally episode 1 there are two scenes that stick out to me.
1) when Lorelei first learns Rory for in to Chilton and is telling Suki she expressed the whole “Rory getting to live the life I never had so I can resent her and we can finally have the mother daughter relationship I’ve always wanted”
2) when Dean is telling Rory that he wanted to talk to her because of her incredible focus and she says “maybe I’m just unbelievably self-centered”
I definitely think there are moments where Emily wants to be like Lorelai like when she wants to wear the lipstick she’s wearing and goes dancing with that guy and has so much fun (it was in the spa episode) and then there is that need of Emily wanting lorelai to want her like when lorelai has a back spasm and Emily wants lorelai to want her mom to take care of her
That's true, Emily said she wants Lorelei to perceive her a certain way (parental role model), and she thinks letting down her guard is a flaw of some sort. It's sad because they can't relate to each other as friends, and Lorelei may have overcompensated by going too far on the other direction 🤔 she was a 'friend' for too long and then went too hard as an authority figure the moment Rory did something she didn't like (i.e. it's ok to take a break from school, Lorelei didn't have to get so extreme about it, maybe just set a deadline, a half a year/year to decide if she still wants to pursue journalism or maybe switch up. Regroup so when she goes back to school she'll get the most out of it
@@ennuiblue4295 I used to agree that Lorelai didn't have to be extreme about the school issue but looking back the problem was that Rory said absolutely no to school, even with Lorelai suggested she just take some classes outside of her major. Rory spent 6 months away from school and probably only went back bc of jess.
@jax001993 I'm not who you responded to initially, but I'll jump in if that's okay. As someone who was kind of a Rory in HS, but ended up having to switch my major a lot and take time off in college, I still don't think Lorelai was right to insist on staying at Yale. Taking 6 months off to figure out your interests is not a big deal, and I think if Rory had gotten therapy or at least stayed away from drama, she might have learned a lot during her time away from Yale. But her reason for taking time off was an issue, and she didn't use the time to get perspective on her goals or abilities. I think Lorelai fighting it like she did served as another distraction-- something for Rory to be sad/mad about in the moment, rather than just having time and space to learn about "the real world" and reevaluate her goals. There are ways, as a parent, that lorelai could have made her feelings known without trying to forbid Rory from making that decision. Because ultimately that's the root cause of some of Rory's issues-- feeling like she has to do everything everyone else wants her to do, and be an overachiever.
@@Aelffwynn I can see your point. Lorelai could be very "my way or the highway." I think once she found out that rory was living with the grandparents, Lorelai realized that Rory was not going to listen to her and she needed to find her way back to school on her own.
I just want to say that you address the nature of this toxic/emotionally negligent parent/child dynamic in a refreshingly respectful way. I remember watching some of The Gilmore Girls when it was on television during my childhood, but I fell off at some point and I somehow don't remember anything about it. I think it might have looked too similar to what my family dynamics were at the time for me to get any enjoyment out of it, aside from the fact that I probably had a crush on Rory. Children who grow up in these dynamics often grow up unheard and unseen, somehow the "responsibility to make amends" or "really give them a chance" ends up directly in your lap, time after time, and nothing you can tell anyone that happened is ever "good enough" for them to let you have your right to not have them in your life. The way you have responded to similar criticism about Lorelei made me personally feel seen and understood just by watching this video, and I also think that your explanations for why things are the way they are is respectful and hopefully helpful for those who can't fully understand this point of view.
Thank you for offering such a respectful and honest analysis.
Honestly Sunny, thankyou so much. This topic is very close to my heart as I've seen first-hand people being smothered in these kinds of dynamics, and how upsetting it can be when you're blamed for the actions of your family. So this video has a much more personal element to me than others have
Very much agreed!
32:14 Dean and Lindsey had already broken up at this point so they weren't seeing each other behind her back I think the point of lorelai hiding it from Emily is because she doesn't know Rory slept with Dean while he was married and basically broke up a marriage which Emily would disapprove of so she didn't want Emily to judge Rory like she would her in that situation.
yes sorry, i didn't pick up on how that came across when editing, but that's what i meant to say! x
Dean broke up his marriage too not just Rory. Why do fans forget that and only go after Rory. And who said Lorelai has to tell Emily what happened between Rory and Dean. Its none of Emily's business.
@@lauriecarson6483 I didn't say he didn't but Emily cares about Rory not Dean
Lorelai is not completely critical towards rorys boyfriends. She was trying to bond with Jess but he was just rude to her and yes at first she was kind of rude to Dean but again she tried really hard to bond with him and supported the relationship. With Logan its different because if you look from her perspective she sees how his family disrespects Rory and this whole cheating thing. Every mom wouldn’t be a huge fan but in the end she also tries to bond with him with this late night ice cream. I think it’s not fair to say that she just never liked Rory’s boyfriends
Ok so I 109% headcanon her as ADHD- I talk as much as she does and I have always been super talkative- hyperactivity, and going on a ton of tangents. But omg I do relate to Loreali- the whole part about rambling when in an uncomfortable situation especially with her parents- I feel leak it could have been her being ignored and needed to scream to be heard whole also having always been the one to diffuse the tension
yes, yes and YES
@@SerenaSkybourne I am half way through but omg this analysis- I’ve had so many of these conversations- people sometimes forget about Emily. It’s funny how the fans take on the view that Emily sets up in the show- Lorelai is the one who get the blame and Rory was “perfect” who went down hill. People tend to neglect the generational trauma aspect. Lorelai was also super critical of everyone and Rory when she did something wrong (the jokes and belittling of emotions at times) - she couldn’t regulate her emotions and sometimes shut down and gave Rory the silent treatment. Also she could fall under being an emotionally immature parent- the whole being the best friend RORY HAD TO BE THE PARENT. She was parentified and had to be repsonsible for Lorelais emotions- her mums codependency also lead to her developing an anxious attachment. Mainly it was the unpredictability that meant Rory had no idea what to expect and in a way was walking on eggshells.
That being said Emily’s abuse often goes un-talked about. And people seem to go Lorelai is toxic and Emily gave her everything but forget how toxic Lorelais parents are.
@@Meg_intheclouds i seriously don't understand how people could overlook Emily's abuse. To me, I remember first watching the show and being so scared of her, because she just seems so harsh and intimidating. Same with my dad (we watched the show together)- he was shocked by how awful she was
@@SerenaSkybourne honestly- I mean I did at first. I was 12- my friend at the time recommended the show and wanted someone else to watch is so she could talk about it- I was looking for a new show after PLL and so tried it. My first thought with Emily was “she reminds me of my grandma” and even Richard is like my grandad- like I have watched the show since about 5 times- and i realise their flaws the more I watch it. Emily and Richard are still very much like my grandparents- but I think now I’m older I can be more critical of that. Watching it at first I was like this is just normal parenting ect- but the older I get and the more I watch the show the more I realise how toxic it is.
Like you said it’s easy for people to get swept away with the magic of Gilmore girls- I mean I was but I was also like 12 and to me it was a cute show about a family reuniting. It was mainly just cool to see a main character like me who was super into books and school and loved learning. Omg also the world of stars hollow- like it’s so cosy. But omg the more I watch it the more I see Emily’s abuse of Loreali. In a way part of the magic is gone, but I also relate to both lorelai and Rory in different ways
We actually get a glimpse of how controlling and authoritarian Emily and Richard were. They found out Rory wasn’t a virgin and moved all her stuff out of the pool house. Like she was going to magically turn back into a virgin after that. You can bet they did that a million times with Lorelai as a child. Emily and Richard don’t bother talking to their child, they just decide what is right for her and move forward accordingly.
I think Emily's confrontation of Sheera was more about pointing out how hypocritical she was being about Rory and to remember her own roots.
My biggest gripe is how they baby Rory so much
IDK if you have ever thought about it, but a video on ASP would be cool. Thank you for your time a dedication to GG!!! This “ world” lives deeply in many of us
❤️❤️
I think there’s also something to be said about about how invested Lorelai is in the narratives she’s constructed around rory. Obviously totally normal for a mother to be invested in the life of her daughter but sometimes it’s like to an extreme level that speaks to their weird boundaries or is a reflection on the way Lorelai relates to her own mother and who she was when she was Rory’s age and like the video suggests a part of Lorelai is very much stuck in time and it heavily influences her actions in the present day. Hope this isn’t repetitive- haven’t finished the video yet :)
Yeah Rory’s teenage years is almost Lorelai’s wish fulfilment
@@SerenaSkybourne I particularly think of the scene where Lorelai overhears that Paris slept with Jamie and she says to herself “I have the good kid” which seems kind of odd and puritanical for Lorelai to think especially cos she was sexually active as a teen but I think there’s a part of Lorelai that has deeply internalised her parents opinions of her having a kid so young and out of wedlock so she’s constructed this narrative of Rory as this perfect virginal daughter and projects that onto her as a means of almost living up to her parents standards through Rory. Like Rory’s sexual inactivity is a reflection of how she’s succeeding as a mother in a way that Emily wasn’t able to.
@@mauve9266 definitely, and its why lorelai was so terrified when she thought that maybe Rory had slept with Dean. To her that means parental failure
I have ADHD, and I never got therapy or medication to help manage it because I was "just a chatty Kathy." I talk like Lorelei, down to the random tangents. It is what led a doctor in adulthood wanting me to start a testing process.
About the whole Lorelai and Rory sex talk thing - My mom never really had to worry about me having sex in high school, I mean I had boyfriends and stuff but I was always candid with her about how I didn't want to do that unless I know the guy loves me ( I think casual sex is perfectly fine and having sex for the first time doesn't have to be a big deal or meaningful or whatever but that's just what I wanted ) and for a while, I knew I wasn't going to have sex with any of the dudes I was dating until I met my current boyfriend when I was 16. ( we've been together for 4.5 years now haha ) but my mom could see that we were like actually in love and that he really loved me and was planning on being with me for a while. It made her a little nervous haha but she sat me down and she was like, " you guys are getting pretty serious... so just let me know when you need birth control... before you need it. " And that's what I did, when I knew I was ready I told her I wanted to start birth control and she helped me get put on it. I think that was probably the best way my mom could've gone about it because it wasn't uncomfortable and it didn't involve any gritty details. Plus it gave my mom peace of mind that we were being safe. I feel like this whole story is kinda random but idk I feel like the scene where Rory tells Lorelai that she wants to have sex with jess was similar to this but would've been less awkward if it had happened more like how it went with me and my mom.
Your mum sounds amazing! And yeah, the issue with Lorelai and Rory's dynamic was that Lorelai couldn't stand Jess, so I don't think she wanted to know and would rather have imagined it wasn't happening.
@@SerenaSkybourne yeah and I feel like that also hints at Lorelai's immaturity because she almost would rather not know and act oblivious to the whole thing just because it's Jess but if it was Dean I feel like she'd almost be excited for Rory. Which I feel like those are reasonable emotions to have but you shouldn't let your child know you feel that way because it could make them feel shameful about their decision if that makes sense. ( also love ur videos and thanks for responding to me this is exciting haha )
I always connected to the show because of Lorelei and Emily's relationship. It honestly helped me cope with the dynamic of my own relationship with my mother (she is like Emily). Thank you for bringing the dark parts of the show up.
Girl you did an entire thesis on these characters, I love how you touched upon the eating habits and food , most people brush it off cause "it's just a show" but I always felt it was wrong 🙄
You studying psychology? Cause your analyses are on point and super deep .
I'm not studying it, but there's a history of psychologists in my family so I learn from the best haha. I'm always reading about it
@@SerenaSkybourne you did a fantastic job 👏 looking forward to more Gilmore girls videos 💗
GG is SUCH a good show to explore these kinds of topics. Hope you do more! Loving the discussions in the comments too.
omg Gilmore Girls is so much more dark and heavy than we give it credit for haha, its very thought provoking even though its a fun and fluffy show
I have always related to Lorelei and both of my parents have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and my mother is VERY much like Emily and my father is VERY much like Richard.
hey, talk about jess and luke too! we already have lorelai, rory and logan, i think they deserve!! you are awesome, thank you
You’re awesome too! And Jess is on the way
A lot of people, mainly those assigned female at birth, who have ADHD but it went undiagnosed who went through trauma have been written off with various labels, Peter Pan Syndrome being one. As well, people often compared those with Autism in in the 2010s and earlier with similar labels infantilizing them. It is a term that comes from a period of time in which people with mental health struggles were fully ignored.
Such a good point.
Check out my Gilmore Girls playlist!
ua-cam.com/users/playlist?list..
5:30 Honestly I always viewed her as more BPD coded. I have BPD myself and I recognize myself in her as well as in Paris so much and I am always fascinated when I see how differently it presents in them due to them having different childhoods and being different people
That’s so interesting what comes to mind for me is it’s like Paris put herself in a ‘model kid’ box while Lorelei’s parents did it to her and she rebelled. For both characters the box is a big part of how they operate
perfect! congratulations, serena, for talking about so many topics that no one does and yet are so important!
Lorelei does not have ADHD 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 as a psychologist I’m tired of people just assuming you have a disorder when Lorelai is able to function just fine in her day to day life.
This video deserves a milion views! The effort you put in this video and analysis is amazing ! I love you and your channel
The way this made me smile ☺️🥰
@@SerenaSkybourne
The mother/daughter dynamics on this show are really compelling; I was raised by a single mother so shows that feature those relationships have a special place in my heart. As a kid watching the show for the first time, I really loved Rory and Lorelei’s relationship. As an adult rewatching the series, I became more aware of some the issues that were present. I was honestly rooting for most of the main characters to go to therapy. I never watched the series the entire way through as a kid as all the dysfunctional romantic relationships got tiresome. I might give the show another rewatch though.
P.S.-If you’re interested in other shows that feature compelling stories about single mother and daughter relationships I recommend Jane the Virgin (that show is a wild ride from beginning to end and I love it for how it portrays relationships between women) and One Day at a Time (the reboot on Netflix, which years later I am still salty for it only getting three seasons).
I was really missing your videos this was another great one as usual LOVING this gilmore girls series ❤️🩹
aww i hate leaving you guys for more than two weeks without a video haha, it always bothers me
I also love the hyper-independence point
You are right about trauma it leaves you frozen I know the feeling sadly I was sexually abused as kid when I was a kid and was emotionally and at times verbally abused by my father who's a drug addict both my parents had horrible childhoods the abuse I suffered has forever altered me to the point I have decided not to ever marry or have children
I’m so sorry to hear this, Angela. You’re amazing 💖
My heart goes out to you. Work through the trauma in therapy and try to move on. You are not your past! Don’t let those monsters take the rest of your life away from you!
Thank you for this deep dive! As much as I thought Luke was in the wrong for cornering Rory into tutoring Jess, Lorelai's reaction to the car crash was a little too harsh towards Jess. I hate Jess as much as the next person, but he is still a kid and he could've been harmed physically and/or emotionally through that incident.
I think Mia really saved her and Rory when they came to Stars Hallow she was there at the perfect time for them.
Lorelai is also the picture of the “Manic Pixie Girl”. Though I know you hesitated to diagnose her, I honestly think she did have ADHD. Several times, she alludes to her brain being a mess or chaotic. I think it would make sense that Richard and Emily (the very picture of WASP privilege) would be frustrated that they couldn’t control their impulsive, wayward daughter.
Lorelai’s trauma made her extremely rigid and unwilling to make concessions for anyone. She doesn’t react well when anyone needs her to compromise. Refusing to celebrate Christmas without Rory (to the detriment of GiGi), arguing with Richard & Emily about Yale when she was forcing Harvard on Rory, and refusing to postpone the wedding so Luke could bond with April (awfffulllll storyline but it’s cannon). She gets in her own way A LOT.
6:00 Unresolved, untreated childhood trauma can manifest as ADHD. I have this and learned about how to work on this from the UA-cam’s put out by Crappy Childhood Fairy on CPTSD: Childhood PTSD. I had a mother like Emily (narcissist) without the wealth or olive branches from her. My son noticed this when he used to watch Gilmore Girls as a pre-teen after school.
Love ur channel hope you get to 50k soon!
I haven't finished the last video yet! 😂 you work fast lol
haha bless you, i didn't want to leave the channel without a new upload for too long xx
Wow, what a nice surprise this upload is! I love your GG vids. And you look gorgeous!
Thanks so much! I didn't want to wait till Tuesday to upload this, I was too excited!
@@SerenaSkybourne I am loving this series so much!
I adore your videos on gilmore girls! also you look absolutely gorgeous !!
I was definitely was and am a combination of both Loreleis. Mom was immature but also over bearing like the grandma. I loved this show so much. Every time you point out the toxic relationships, I feel more valid that I actually experienced these things. My mom likes to gaslight me and say it didn’t happen or I’m exaggerating etc etc
Rory didn't dump Logan! He dumped her!
She just wasn't ready to get married yet but she wanted to stay together. He told her that if She didn't accept his proposal they were done. That was completely on him.
How easy huh. Logan was ready, he knew that Rory was struggling to get a job let alone an internship after graduating. He wanted to help her and he loved her. It was her who was scared of the commitment, she’d seen it with her mother. Lorelai was going to marry max and she didn’t. She was in an on off relationship with Christopher. Luke. And the other guy as well. No commitment even after she got married to Christopher. Of course Rory saw that and learned that from her mother. Plus she had this idea that if she’d get married her career/life would be put on hold. We see ten years later she has no job, no relationship, zero career development. Plus her attitude and entitlement was just the icing on the cake. Yes logan said goodbye but only because he knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, he wanted her period . Rory was just in the “well maybe if we stay together but I don’t have to commit it might work”
@@justme1106 but they were still so young, there is no need to marry (ever) but especially not in your early-mid-twenties. You can absolutely commit to a relationship without being married, so what Logan did there was basically trying to blackmail and pressure her into a marriage, he even proposed in public which always has some manipulative vibe to me.
@@apfelmus4360 not really. Never, will having a “committed relationship” compared to a marriage. Rory wasn’t ready, fine. But what was the point
ive been watching all these videos thinking i’m already subscribed and i can’t believe i wasn’t! love all your vids ♥️
omg howwww lmao
Actually, if youtube keeps recommending my vids in your home page, it would be easy to think you're subscribed.
I don't personally have ADHD but I am neurodivergent and just from the behaviours you're describing in this video, I feel like Lorelai probably is too, though I doubt that was intentional on the part of the writers. I feel like a lot of 'quirky' characters in fiction fall under the neurodivergent umbrella whether the writers are aware of it or not, if that makes sense.
yeah sometimes its accidental
Agree!
Oh I 100% believe Amy Sherman Palladino must've had undiagnosed ADHD herself and every single female character on the show except for not Emily nor Mrs. Kim - and maybe a few of the men too like Christopher -- seem to have every single ADHD symptom. They very clearly have ADHD. Lorelai may be the most obvious classic presentation of it and biggest main character but I see it also in Rory, Sookie, Lane, even Paris & April who also seem autistic and ADHD at once.
Even the addiction to coffee is a self-medicating thing people with undiagnosed ADHD end up doing. The fast-talking of the show, the sense of humor and wit, the entrepreneurial spirit even aligns with ADHD. There was even a reference to messy handwriting in the pilot i think. The whole mistakes of waiting too last min to pick up your dry cleaning of the start of ep 2 is all very ADHD as well. There is so much to unpack there.
@@VioletEmerald You're so right Lorelai is the most obvious, but it's fascinating to look at Rory too especially knowing where she ends up later. I would say Lorelai likely would be the hyperactive type, but pin Rory as more of one of the hidden ADHD types possibly combined with being Autistic. I always read Luke and April as both Autistic too.
Honestly, the only people who are able to accurately write neurodivergent characters in any medium are people with that lived experience, so very very very likely Amy S-P is one of us.
@@VioletEmerald I totally agree! I'm neurodivergent myself, my boyfriend has ADHD and I remember telling him that, to me, Lorelai has ADHD. I also think that pretty much all characters in the GG universe act in some sort of "atypical" way but nobody really addresses it (no one out of that show would tell or do the things they do and say, especially in shops or when talking to strangers lol). And that's because, as you say, it stems from ASP. In my opinion, Sookie has OCD (I have OCD myself and see a lot of traits in her, like the extreme perfectionism, the inability to delegate to others, the overpossessive behaviour towards her kitchen/equipment etc) and Paris - whom I identify the most with - is very likely on the autistic spectrum.
Wow, that’s a great take on Lorelai! I definitely agree with most of your interpretations, well done!
43:00 I do believe that the show are showing us how parenting can seem easy when you are an outsider. Emily would easily go off as a harsh parent, very mean as you said and all, while Lorelai would be presented as the cool mother. They are both terrible, but both of them knows how to hide it from themselves (and others, in Lorelai's part)
Like, for example, Emily believes that her overall attitude with her daughter only makes Lorelai stronger. She believes that Lorelai's good attitude are an effect of what she was trying to teach, and the bad are just something that she failed to do, but still can if she gets harsher. When it comes to Rory, she believes that her already being the golden child leaves room for common mistakes. Both Emily and Richard have the "assurance" that teens make mistakes and this is just a phase. She's already perfect.
Now, about Lorelai: she's too good for a mother, and I say that as a daughter of a mother that is a lot like her (with some undertones of Emily). She gives Rory the "alright, you can do it" to everything, so Rory never actually thinks about doing them. Like, she tells her the mistakes she made in the past and it's consequences, which is good because her daughter will just think that she doesn't want to do it anyway- until she grows up and see that being a teenager is actually something that she wants to do (but she's too old for that, which makes her childish and immature).
I would really like to dive into how Lorelai and Rory's relationship is happening nowadays very easily, especially here with people that understand a bit what I'm saying because of the show, but their story gets too close to home for me.
Not wanting to completely vent in here, but my mom is a lot like Lorelai. She did not have me when she was a teenager, but she was in the beginning of her 20's and just has a really young soul and heart. She tells me everything about her dating life and sex. Just, she tells me everything and I realized just a few months ago how her life of partying and hooking up had made me a homebody
I'm so glad I found your videos, you offer such a fresh perspective on this show! I just watched the one on the whole series, now I'm gonna see this one and I'm really excited to watch the Logan one. Also finally I found someone else that doesn't like Jess as a boyfriend. I loved how in depth you go into their psychology and as someone with a lot of trauma in relation to family, hearing you speak about it in the show actually made me think a lot about my own stuff. I just loved everything you're doing.
You mentioned in your previous video how you like these 2000s shows, I would love if you did a series on Dawson's Creek. The complexity of those characters is truly amazing, and it delves into these really deep topics in not the best way, but its still really interesting to analyze.
I'm getting a lot of requests for dawson's creek, and a lot for one tree hill. So hard to choose!
Also, I know a lot of people like yourself will connect to the family-related trauma parts of these videos, it's so so common sadly
I really like your Gilmore Girls videos and i hope you make more!
Love your videos!
Thank you! 😊
I love your analysis
why THANKYOU :)
loving these Gilmore videos
I'm loving these Gilmore Girls videos!
Love love love this video you knocked it out of the park once again 👏 looking stunning in red 🥰❤💄
omg Jasmyne I'm always seeing you here and I love it! Thankyou
I love Lorelei, and she has some good mom moments, but I feel like her emotions get in the way of her acting like the adult in the relationship. The worst to me is how she dealt with Rory after she stole the boat. I’m the same age as Rory at that point (20 turning 21 in the next few months), and though I’d never steal a boat, I’m no where near as emotionally mature as a woman in her mid-late 30s should be. And I feel like she did a bad job with that situation involving a emotionally immature (compared to a 36 year old) young woman because of her own emotions
(I don’t exactly blame her, but I still find it a bit annoying)
52:03 Rory did have a job in college swiping student ID cards at the dining hall, which is easy to overlook because there are only a few scenes showing her working, and she never goes back to it again.
Nah I did not overlook how traumatized Lorelai is. Her parents are horrible. They constantly cross her boundaries and if she rightfully reacts to that they punish her for that as well. Infuriating. And still Lorelai kept trying. Also I think nobody "sabotages themselves". We are always trying to *protect* ourselves. What was she trying to protect herself from? From letting someone in too much and therefore influence her. She is very sensitive. Most of what she's experienced with someone "close" to her is viciousness. Emotional cruelty. So of course she has trouble opening up. It doesn't feel safe. You know what kind of imprint that leaves on the nervous system? I do. It's fucking difficult to shift. Because when you grow up in emotional starvation and neglect you don't learn how to deal with your emotions so what's left? Trying to avoid getting triggered as fuck every day. Which obviously is not a good solution but hey. I don't think she is even aware of the fact she's triggered because these weird coping states have just become her reality. I also think she's dissociating quite a bit (if you wanna get really deep). It's crazy how long it takes until she really believes Luke in who he is as a person (safe, warm). Ah man I could write a whole book as a response to this lol. And I was so distracted by your boobs for a while in the beginning🤣 What an outfit👌🏻 Ps: Actually I think her attachment style is disorganized (mixture of anxious and avoidant)
Small correction, Rory worked at the dining hall at Yale.Love your GG videos!
Ooh, along a similar vein, would love to hear you cover Ginny and Georgia
God the gaslighting that Richard and Emily do to Lorelai is so painful to watch. Also, before Rory was old enough to be the golden child, Richard and Emily chose Christopher to be their golden child. I think it's very heartbreaking that they made that choice over Lorelai.
Hi, I am really like you review- you opened for me some unexpected sides of Lorelay's story. But she is still for me example of mother, that I wanted to have or wanted to be .
Lorelai is the best example of an ADHD character I've ever seen. The fact that you labeled it as immature is sad to me, because I've never related to any other character more than to her.
I feel you, and I also relate to Lorelai. But try not to feel bad about the “immature” comment. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is perfect. Yes, those of us who act like Lorelai probably seem immature at times (we aren’t perfect). Then again, people who seem super mature are often deeply repressed and messed up in their own ways, like Emily. There are worse labels than immature, just keep being your best self
Every character trait has pros and cons. Her ‘immaturity’ also makes her a fun mom/ friend.
@@strawberrylove5684 I can't agree on it since immature implies that she should mature in order to be right and I don't think that's true or fair. Not everyone has to be the same, her being fun and having sense of humor doesn't mean she's immature - for me it means when a person has little regard for other people's feelings, hasn't got their priorities figured out and is generally emotionally stunted. I don't think any of those applies to Lorelei, she acts very responsible when the matter is serious even though it isn't in her nature to be all meticulous and well organized.
I found it very interesting how Lorelai felt like she couldn’t share her opinion with Rory because she feels like Rory would just cut her off if she didn’t agreed
This made me think would rory be a lot more like Emily if she were raised differently
gilmore girls is, at its heart, a story of how abuse spans multiple generations. yes, emily is the emotionally abusive, controlling but loralei is also emotionally abusive and controlling but she disguises it as "we're best friends!!!!! more like sisters really, not parent-child." it is inherently abusive to live your life through your child, which loralei objectively did do. We can see the ramifications of her parenting through rory's romantic decisions paralleling loralei's and eventually, her desire to rebel and self-sabotage. i love how this show shows the generational cycle of abuse and how "good" people can be just as abusive to their children as "bad" people.
I always loved this show reminds me of my family dynamic. My mom and I had a good relationship as long as neither one of us were with a guy. My boyfriends were never good enough and she was EXTREMELY controlling regarding that, and when she had a boyfriend she would change completely around them and I never liked it. We would go silent with each other.
Brilliant video💜😄
Diana!! I always see you commenting. I appreciate you 🥰
@@SerenaSkybourne Thank you! I love commenting, its the least I can do seeing how much work you do for us here💙
Point 4: it's good that she points out that Harvard and Yale are not actually the best schools for journalists, in the 🇺🇸 but again Lorelei was going to go to an Ivy League, before she got knocked up and she passed that on to Rory, (and they both feel entitled to this to some extent as being from an old aristocratic New England family). This is what's expected for them.
Point 5: also she wanted Rory to go to a College/University close to Stars Hollow.
I always thought Emily’s comment to Sherra(?) Huntzberger was the fact that Mitchem still sleeps around and so every few months her weight goes up cause her husband isn’t sleeping either her (sx being a form of exercise) not that she’s eating her emotions to combat an unfaithful marriage
I personally love her because she's so witty and funny and I love her sense of humor
The writing,directing and acting was on another level.
54:42 Ok. I’ve watched this again and sorry but I can’t stomach Christopher. His relationship with Rory was always conditioned/ affected by his relationship with Lorelai. And if Lorelai has selfish, immature behaviour what can we say about a man who took advantage of an emotional collapse Lorelai for almost a year?! From 6.22 to halfway through season 7.
The letter Lorelai writes to help out Luke in “To whom it might concern” sums up the reason why for a parent, particularly a single parent, a solid partner is everything: Lorelai and Like knew each other for years, he showed up to every landmark event of Rory's life and even when Lorelai and Luke had fights, and weren't on speaking terms he never took it upon Rory. He always kept his relationship with Rory unchanged.
Yeah I talked about this in my Gilmore Girls deep dive (the 2 hour one). There were some things I liked about Christopher, but he fit into so many toxic romance tropes and took advantage of Lorelai when she was emotional and vulnerable around season 6, I could never get behind that. So although I get why some people ship them, I just can't fully stand behind it. Luke was a much healthier man.
Although for some reason I kind of got bored with him too (around season 6-7). I don't know why that is, he and Lorelai just lost their spark to me as well lmao. I think I'm one of those viewers that loves the build up and excitement but then when they actually got together... I don't know
@@SerenaSkybourne Sorry. Christopher’s storyline is always traumatic 🤣 I remember when it first aired and my sister had to physically leave the room every time he appeared
@@LuisanaRamirez omgggg
@@LuisanaRamirez to be fair, especially in the beginning of the show he seems like such a man baby. And when he tried to fight Logan omg
Honestly, I find the fact that most of them improved, but just ever so slightly, so realistic. I know people who improved and it's really small, and it took years. It rarely happens like in the movies, when after a short, short period of time you learn your lesson and you completely change all your behaviours. But that rarely happens in real life. Change takes time. Trauma needs more time. Trauma attracts more trauma. You don't get the one, max two boyfriends and boom, true love with no problems. Unless you're like reallllly lucky. They all had so many relationships cause yes, it takes a lot of realtionships to get it right. Not to mention, the guys always had their own problems. Like in real life. There is not one prince charming, entirely perfect guy in GG. Like, even Dean who is closest to that standard, cheats. He can't move on. And he breaks up with Rory at first only because he thinks she will never stay in their town for 'love' and she seems richy ritch in that episode with Logan/ her birthday party, I think. He's jealous and is petty about with Jess. He has so many mre flaws (which are just traits of a normal person but nah, most characts have to be smart, humble, never jealous, gorgeous, etc).
I adore that at the end, no one ends up perfect. Emily changed in the movies way more than in the show. Like there's an actual big jump there, but that's because even more time passed and a big change happened in her life. Like a whole 180. That's realistic.
No wishy, washy, superficial, no substance, fast lesson at the end of each episode where: hey, we should all love each other and we should always be together with no strings attached. And blah, blah, friendship and everyone has no flaws. And life is perfect. Nah.
The money problems are sprinkled here and there. Not the most realistic part of the show, but honestly...it's really hard to do a show about someone who doesn't go anywhere, doesn't have the money to do much because that can become repetitive fast and boring. But I can't remember another show where someone would not keep all the lights on because they're saving money. Or window waching and not buying anything cause money. Or burrowing money and paying for it for a whole show. Not to mention, people keep thinking they have all this money to buy food but they specify, they order once and eat from it all week. Which saves money and time for cooking cause Lorelay works and has no time, or talent in cooking.The fact that there is actual representation for money issues to it it's still amazing in my opinion. Also, gotta mention, their furniture rarely changes. And there's a lot of seasons. Like...they clearly use their money where it is needed. They don't remodel their house or buy new clothes each month when, caugh, a lot of shows use spending money as a topic when it doesn't make much sense they needed to buy that stuff or where that much money came from.
I gotta say, thanks for talking about Gilmore Girls and seeying beyond what a lot of viewers claim. Cause I think most of them saw one or two episodes and then went to bash them cause these are one of the most realistic characters I've ever seen. And I watched and read a lottttt. Their trauma is so well written. They're so relatable and yet not cliche. Empowered but vulnerable too. It's just...10 plus. Forever will stay in my heart. Forever will be a good example of writing and acting. No matter what anyone says, GG is more realistic than 99 percent of the shows that I've ever seen or heard of. Like I can imagine this happening somewhere. It is not that far off from reality and that is because the characters are so flawed! My god. I am so sick of goody two shoes in shows or evil people who will not change and literally have to die for the hero to yay, I am good. Or perfect relationships with no conflicts, like realistic, not made up stuff they mishard. Plain, dumb misscomunicattion. Lack of communication when it make no sense. Etc. Like...that's just lazy writing. There's always reason on top of reason why something happens in this show. Realistic, emotionally driven, understandable reasons. Real relationships.
I'll shut up now. Bye.
I think Lorelei has undiagnosed ADHD, which probably meant she was never gonna live up to Emily’s standards, so in her teens she stopped trying.
Clearly I posted this before you mentioned it. I have ADHD, and I thinkLorelai is one of us. Things like being a business owner, and being good with kids are common with ADHDers, it’s not all downside.
@@Theselection1661 no its not. Its one of the most underdiagnosed "disorders" especially in girls and women. I should know, I was just diagnosed in my late twenties
@@Theselection1661 it wouldn’t have been in the 90’s/early 2000’s- also super hard to get a diagnosis for and so many women go undiagnosed for so long because of misconceptions, a lack of representation and people dismissing it as being quitky
To add to this- my mum is similar to Emily but I would say slightly toned down. I am quite a bit like lorelai (and also very very likely undiagnosed adhd and my mum realised she just never got me tested because in her words I’m “smart” and “well behaved”. She still thinks I need to try harder because ADHD is an excuse and I’m like no it’s an explanation but apparently it’s one I “need to fix”.
I went the opposite to lorelai- I am a textbook people pleaser I present more like Rory, overachiever, seeking validatikn constantly, perfectionism ect. But yeah I agree- adhd kid and super organised mum who projects standards onto you that you struggle to meet is defo a thing. And yeah Loreali rebelled
@@Meg_intheclouds right
@@sabrinabeeart I meant in boy
Lorelai definitely was suffering from Trauma from her childhood
Omg I've never clicked this fast
omg i love you!!
Ooft! Had to pause the video because Hun your dress is stunning! Where is it from?
i just texted my mum to ask her haha
Ok I checked- its from pretty little thing!
@@SerenaSkybourne thank you so much! 💕
Having watched the show about three times, I still found it hard to sympathize with Lorelai especially at times like immediately asking Luke to marry her after a fight with Rory or when she completely shuts down Lindsey’s mom (it felt unfair for other characters to not be given time to express themselves). But that’s because I wasn’t thinking about her trauma, even though familial relationships was a major theme. my comfort episode is still the flashback episode where we got to see Lorelai as a teenager.
I love Lorelai & I relate to her so much
Point 3: it's very perceptive that Lorelei put too much responsibility on Rory's shoulders. (And this prompted her to go to an angsty phase in her life in her twenties and early 30s rather than as a teenager).
Hi Serena, I just wanted to know if you've ever seen Ugly Betty? I just recently binged it (it's perfect binge material) think it is one of the best shows of the 2007+ era and I know you like fashion therefore if you haven't seen it I think you'd enjoy it. Plus some of the plots are ridiculously wild and as a PLL fan you'd probably enjoy that too 😂
I think as a teen i related to Rorry much more but as a adult who is also a parent trying to balance work the parent in me my responsibility being an adult while allowing my inner child to breath is difficult i have more compassion for Lorilai than i did as a teen
2. You also seems to miss a rather obvious point that Rory and Lorelei did actually have to go through pretty bad hardship, (even with me as hell they had to live in that shak "apartment" for years, and that should have been included in any video about the hardships Lorelei has had to endure). And the only reason she got that much was because Mia gave her a job and support.
we never really got emily with her mother either. that relationship was lost on us
Your speculation about Emily being jealous of Lorelai is confirmed by the "kayak" scene. In one of their moments of rare kinship, when Emily is drinking, she analogizes her own marriage to a canoe, where if Richard leaves, she's left spinning in circles. But she compares Lorelai to a kayak, capable of steering without a partner.
Can you do a video on Lane?