Supporting a foster child when there is a surprise visit or when visit start up again
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- Опубліковано 19 жов 2024
- Sometimes you may go weeks or months without a visit. And when the parent is able to visit again, it can sometimes feel like a surprise. Here are some considerations for these moments.
How do you support kids when visits start up again? Lmk in the comments! 💛⬇️
#fosterparent #fosterparenting #fostercare #fosterchild
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Gen Xr here..grew up in a time before 'parenting' was a verb.. Wonder how much better we'd be as a society if my generation was raised with the deliberate care that you show to your fosters.. Soaking it up now to heal my inner child 💖
I love how you phrased that- “deliberate care” 💛 you are so right! It is exhausting but the nuances can really matter.
Gen Z here so a completely different generation. Parenting seems to have changed a lot in a very small timeframe. I hope we keep moving in the right direction
Gen X here too. Parenting was definitely a verb when we grew up. See the online Etymology dictionary or the Merriam Webster dictionary. There were lots of books about parenting, some really cringe. We as a society learned a lot since then, but most of the parents of that era did the best they could, same as now.
Agreed. I’m also Gen X and love my parents. But they’re definition of parenting was feed, clothe, and keep the kids out of trouble. 😊 It was just a different time. I still wouldn’t trade my upbringing for anything in the world even though I know there’s better ways of doing some things!
One of the many things I love about this channel is that although it is directed toward foster parents, it is really parenting 101. Parents watch it and get lessons in treating their own children with respect and sensitivity.
your strategies are completely rewiring these kids. you arent just comforting them, you are setting them up to comfort themselves too. amazing work ❤
It's so weird, youtube recommended me someone else's "foster kid room tour" once a while ago, for no apparent reason, and eventually your videos popped up. I don't have children, I don't foster, I can't foster right now (no spare bedroom - and frankly I wouldn't want to expose a foster kid to my terrible neighbors), probably won't ever have kids (bio, foster, or otherwise), but your videos are so soothing that I just watch them anyway.
Wild Kratts is such a great show, I love that the Kratt Brothers have been making fun and educational content about animals for kids for like 30 years.
We love that show!
I grew up on Kratts Creatures and it was my FAVORITE!! 😍
I grew up on Zooboomafoo, but I definitely watched Wild Kratts when it first started airing. I actually showed my little cousin Zooboomafoo and told her that they were the same guys from Wild Kratts and then she called me old. I just turned 22. 😭
@@princess_ama Well before Zooboomafoo there was Kratts Creatures, so that makes me ancient 😅
OH this "I wonder" phrase is SO instantly useful. Thank you. Seeing these two scenarios side-by-side, it's so easy to see simple changes that can make our care more effective and child-focused.
I like that you keep kids off camera. It’s nice to see a creator that does parenting content without exploiting actual children for views.
You are a rockstar lady. Thank you from parents everywhere (foster or not!)
This is so considerate! The way you interact is helpful in so many situations, not just foster kids. I am glad you're sharing the message of letting folks feel their feelings rather than stuffing it down and asking them to make decisions about what to do to distract them. It's much better to give them that opportunity to identify their true feelings.
Exactly. As a teen I was in 3 different psychiatric units. The first unit used that approach of stuffing down feelings and trying to get me to 'distract myself' unless it was an organised therapy session when they would wonder why am I not 'expressing my emotions'? But the whole problem was my feelings were being repeatedly stuffed down whilst I was experiencing them but during a session of course my feelings would pertain to the session instead of anything that happened prior. I ended up feeling abnormal for having situationally understandable feelings.
The last unit had a much more 'Laura style' approach however by that point I was so trained on the first unit's approach that I barely communicated how I was feeling at any time and I didn't trust it when a worker noticed me looking upset and asked me how I was feeling, I responded by saying 'I am distracting myself' and she replied that I am 'allowed to feel emotions'. I'd become so avoidant of expressing my emotions that they wondered if I have autism. Being allowed to express how I'm feeling whilst I'm feeling it, being allowed to cry without being told to stop and distract myself, has worked wonders for me in my recovery as as an adult. I now use Laura's videos as both a way to reparent myself and also as a reference as a children's worker.
Absolutely bawling whenever i watch these 😭
You are a treasure
BEautiful video Laura, the remaining neutral and I wonder statements are such useful tools for giving the child space to process these last minute changes. Thank you.
I was wondering, do you have some tips for (handling) teens/adolescents who are extremely apologetic and extreme people pleasers due to their trauma? I am already trying to show her that she is safe here and boundaries are accepted, but I am wondering if you have some more tips.
Your channel gives me hope for the next gen. Cant wait until I am able to foster too ❤
Very good tactics.
I'm borrowing these for using with SO's grandkids.
The fact wild kratts managed to pop up here and is a current fixation. Hell yeah! 👏
I fostered my nieces before adopting them, I got my sisters same perfume and sprayed it on their comfort items and that helped them a lot. I was lucky to have access and know what perfume my sister wears, but I bet if you were able to find that out it’d help whatever kids you foster too
Off topic, but I love Wild Kratts. I was so sad when my kids got older and didn't want to watch it anymore. It's a great show.
Great video, as always.
I love how you demonstrate both approaches & evaluate the affect of each approach - this really gives viewers foreshadowing for their own choices when interacting with vulnerable children.
So much emotional intelligence in such a short video!
I'm curious on the approach of "distract"...I feel like sitting w the kids and letting them feel what they feel (about the end of visit or whatever) seems to be your approach in most other areas. How do you determine to sit in feelings to process them, vs distract with tablet, park, food, etc?
The child’s therapist can help you navigate this! In the car specifically, I’m thinking about safety and my surroundings. Moving away from visit center and to a place where the child feels more calm may be better suited. I also don’t drive when I’m worried the child won’t sit properly in the seat or will try to unbuckle. There is a lot going on in the moment, so you do have to balance it all. I do have videos that showcase this a little:
ua-cam.com/video/0BkMDhDME7A/v-deo.htmlsi=h3C1Qut20-jMvciX
ua-cam.com/video/jM3hMF6GMjY/v-deo.htmlsi=6rC68Xe50Vwl9530
Kind of inconsiderate of the parents to not consider that their sudden, unplanned desire to visit will wreak havoc with a foster family's schedule.
Thank you for these, I also use the strategies for myself!
Laura, thank you so much for your videos. I was wondering if you have any advice or would consider doing a video on how to make the decision whether to adopt, specifically for those of us who started just planning to foster but are being asked to consider adoption, and for whom adoption plus continuing to foster is not feasible.
Can kids call there bio whenever
ok what is this cotton candy spray you speak of.........
??
I hope to be a foster parent when I'm a little older and I just want to say how much your videos have helped me not only cement my decision to do that but also you've helped heal my inner child so much with your gentle parenting techniques 🫂❤️ thank you for what you do!