Be careful taking advice from anyione about a life time descision. I know women who are trapped in long term bad marriages over 30 years plus and regretted every marrying the person but they can't leave because of finances, sickness or family. The outside world adores them not knowing the truth. There is no one size fits all. Marriage is individualized because people are unique in their needs and preferences. just know your slef and what qualities you want in a man that is complementary to you
I agree with Karli I got married at 25 years old and really was not ready but I wanted to be married. It’s by the grace of God we are still married 🙏🏾🙏🏾36 years now
Got married at 22 and will be celebrating 14 years next week. I had no business getting married but I looked for the qualities my father had, hard worker, fix everything and would even give up bad habits for me. I'm very glad I got married when I did to the person I did. 3 kids ❤
I really appreciate the honesty during this dialogue. My mother never taught me anything about men accept not to get pregnant. My father was absent and very inconsistent so he wasn’t a good example. These conversations are informative and healing.
@@Bluntgirly Girl what are you talking about "if you're pretty you're pretty". She said dark skinned vs light skinned so how did you jump to being pretty 'vs' not being pretty. Lots of so-called ugly women are married and many pretty women are not so looks are irrelevant when it comes to marriage.
I have to say ladies, that you are an awesome model for us, single women. I have made so many mistakes but now I feel I think like you. It totally resonates with me. You are queens and you are teaching us how to put that crown!
I didn't have a father in my life. My mother never dated or remarried either. However, my mother was a strong woman role model. And I had men around me, fathers of friends, and coaches who were very good men; examples of integrity, respect, and care, etc. People need good role models, yes, but they don't have to be the parents to be that in a person's life.
Funny thing everything y'all said is so true. Dating became easier when I came home. My parents set boundaries and both my mom and dad coached me on boundaries. I been married for 10 years now. He proposed after 1.5 years of dating. My parents hated seeing me taken advantage of. So they just told me, instilled, hey this is what I taught you, where are your boundaries. So I got hurt so bad that I listened and I found the love of my life. Old school dating leads to deep connections.
Right around 46:17 mark, he said "that men (himself included) can respect boundaries that are not intended just for him. And that women's boundaries should have been consistent before he came along" 🙄🙄🙄🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ ummmm Sir no! , It doesn't matter when a woman sets her boundaries. They should be followed and respected regardless of when she places them. SMH!
These two women are the real deal! Women know your worth and who God has called you to be! Set boundaries, goals, and standards, and don't be easy and settle for less because you are a kings daughter. Be who what you want.
She said it all at 1:17.. You want a man that is out of your league.. You have to be in the circle to attract a certain caliber. Affluent folks aren't at the wing spot and juicy crab and your free before 11 clubs. Once you start self improving you will meet different people. I was not the same person in my early 20's than as I got closer to 30.
I cooked and cleaned for my now husband from the beginning. That’s just the type of woman I am. He was busy a lot with work and I would have a lunch for him or dinner, he’d swing by and pick it up when he had time. About 5 months in he gave me his garage code and I would clean up for him and leave meals in the fridge. At the same time, there were boundaries and we didn’t sleep in each other’s home etc. We had pure dates out in the city and talked on the phone, very old school. Met and married in 11 months. Its all dependent on the type of man/woman in the equation yet I agree a woman needs to move very intentionally up front and dont let men waste your time or use your body. Men who aren’t serious will fall off accordingly.
Great convo. •Most times it’s not difficult to figure out a man’s intentions. When invited to a man’s home, I think most women assume that his goal is sex. That doesn’t mean it will end up happening though. •I’ve never judged anyone fully off of one good date. You have to pay attention to words and patterns over time . •To Ryan, there are women who are flirts or teases-they will flirt and it may seem like they’ll be down but they will pump the breaks when it comes down to it. •Perception is important but it’s equally important to be your authentic self. Be respectful BUT never pretend-don’t be who you think someone wants to to be. •The phrase “a woman is the prize” actually falls in line with the attitudes of many men. If you think men are the hunters and like the chase, then yes, they are seeking something rewarding…a prize so to speak. I think both men and women are gifts to one another. •There is no one size fits all for relationships. What one man likes, another may not. Same for women. Some men marry women who they had sex with day one. Some women marry men who don’t have a lucrative career. •
❤🥹I thoroughly enjoyed the livestream. These ladies are classy amazing wives with great advice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. I’m 30 and single and I want to become a wife. Sometimes I feel hopeless but I’ve started putting myself out there and online dating, cleaning up my social media, and going to professional networking events🙏🏿💗I know I’ll find my husband soon
I'm glad Karli said in her 20s she wasn't ready for that level of commitment. I'm so tired of these men shaming women who are single in their 30s and 40s as though there is no benefit to the maturity.
Agreed with most of this minus the sex prior to marriage. It's safer to have a boundary of no sex before marriage and will weed out many opportunities as mentioned in the show for the wrong people to come in to take what belongs to ones spouse. Yes, for me it's Spiritual and I believe the Bible is clear on it. Even if you don't believe there are clear consequences on both sides for disobedience. I feel we should vet our spouse to know their character and willingness to grow with us in sexual intimacy and other forms. 😊 I have been married for 19 years without sex before marriage and its been good, bad and ugly but we're still standing and only God, Jesus The Christ, have kept us. 😂 We are still working on our sex life as we were mea.t to grow and change together. It will continue to be a work in progress until we die. 😅❤
Best comment here! It's funny that no one in the comments liking and agreeing with this. Because there's some misdirection and foolery all thru here . Of course theres alot if truth but ... without God in where up and thru here... im skeptical 🫤
THIS!!!! I almost commented this early on into the video but I said let me listen all the way through. However, boundaries are different when you bring true spirituality and willingness to being obedient to Christ. I’m not perfect and have made many mistakes along the way but this is what I strive for while being intentional in dating for marriage if that makes sense. When you start to learn about generational curses, soul ties and spirit spouses whewwww!!! That’s all I’ll say!
I feel like women who live in urban environments do not have many options of men to choose from. So I believe if you live in urban environments you have to intentionally go to places where high quality men are.
@prettyloubey8411 you are absolutely correct. There are many reasons for this. One of the reasons are that men who have college degrees (even if they grew up in an urban environment) and no children tend not to live in these areas. We avoid poor/poverty stricken areas like the plague.
@@orvillemcpherson6417 well said. Another reason behind it is the conditioning is different . In terms of behaviors . There is also a power control dynamic where the man has more and the female has less in there’s of access to resources. Men from high social economic status knows this and many time take advantage of women from lower class ( social economic status)
Dating is challenging, however, I found great value in the topic, dialogue and questions for better navigating this experience. So, many meaningful take aways from dating with intent, sex vs waiting, mistakes women make dating, red flags and how to communicate for understanding one another. Also, I love that the host and guest emphasize the importance of having a personal connection with God, and having that foundation as a basis in the relationship. ✨ This is definetly a share and rewatch. Thank you.
Still waiting on finding Christian married women that were firm on abstinence or waiting until marriage on a podcast. Would love to see that next. That's typically the biggest obstacle.
These wonderful ladies are proof that A woman should not have to answer “what are you bringing to the table?”. She should just show him who she is but as a man HE has to determine if this woman will bring the right things to the table.
Bottom line: Know your identity, value, have boundaries and enforce them! Learn to properly vet men! Stop dating in the dark! Let your friends and family get to see and know these men! Stop getting so hot and bothered so early on and date ONLY in public spaces! You all have to realize that men are instinctively predatory! They know how to strategize just to get what they want. If you want to be happily married understand that most men don't want what's easy to come by! If they can get it easy, then so can the next man. Also, understand that a man that's just out to sleep with you is going to move quickly! Also, it doesn't matter if you tell a man if you are being celibate or not. Either he is going to try to wait you out or move on. Either way you learn who you are dealing with!
This prize and passenger princess mentality is interesting. A woman is not only an increase to a man’s like. A good man absolutely adds value to a woman is positions himself to make the ultimate sacrifice for with protection, provision and covering. Both partners brings value to building a great life and relationship, not just a woman. If we’re Biblical it’s the man that creates an environment for the woman to flourish as she pours into him, she is also becoming the highest form of woman she was created to be. Let’s elevate.
Yesssss🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 And Vice Versa!! My husband still amazes me even after 20+ years He stilll stands Out From the regular dude. The Way she Carrie’s himself, how he represents me & his family he was just always a different breed of Man for me even as a teenager❤ God Is Good🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #GodDoesAnswerPrayers
The ladies are dropping game 🔥🔥🔥 and this episode is so real and raw. Also you guys are doing a great job keep up the good work young man I see y'all growth. 🥰🥰
It's about timing and you being what he wants. That's it. And those are out of your control. Like none of these women git married in two years, but we r told a man isn't serious about marrying you if he hasn't proposed within two years. That's why you have to move based on your individual situation, not by some arbitrary rules. The boundaries advice I agree with 100%, it protects you. People will leave a healthy loving relationship chasing a ring because he hasn't proposed in certain time line.
I strongly agree with timing and compatibility; however, the length of time for dating prior to marriage also depends on the age and maturity of the couple. Case in point, someone that is in their early 20’s may have a longer dating period than a couple in their 30’s or 40’s, sometimes people may pursue higher educational goals that are time consuming like law school. When you are older, you’ve had more time to introspect and explore what you really need and desire in a marriage partner. Moreover, people are also more likely to be more stable in their career and finances in their 30’s and 40’s. Men aren’t usually ready for marriage until they are more stable financially!
Common mistakes MEN make when dating are leading women on. non-closure and the number one thing: conflating dating with sleeping around. Stop sleeping with women you have no further intentions than the bedroom.
This was so amazing to listen to. I hope you get these two ladies back on soon. Thanks for all the good messages you guys put out. Def have become a fan!
Honestly, I've gone out with someone after meeting them online the first day. We met up for coffee or a light meal and oftenthey want to see me again. I think pretending like you aren't interested in someone just to prove a point is a bit much. I'm not pressed and I don't allow anyone to my home nor do I have sex with these people. I think it all boils down to compatibility and if the person's values align with mine. I love asking subconscious questions and know my worth.
They kept it ALL THE WAY REAL i love it🎉 🎉🎉 I am soooo proud of you guys. The growth is phenomenal and i know its going to keep souring to greater and greater heights. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I've been sharing your page.
I thought this was going to be a bust. Could not be more wrong! Nobody is dropping this much knowledge and information. No podcast, no video PERIOD‼️‼️‼️
Thanks for another good one! Let me work on my social media lol....I"m private so I don't like folks in my business, even if there isn't much business to be in smh lol. Most of my posts are of me running, with a few of those occasional dating posts that Ryan and Tysean were talking about lol. I had up pics from my trip to Jamaica in 2021, then took them down....never posted pics of my trip to Colombia last year smh lol. Never really thought about the fact that a guy who goes to my social media might just find me boring :) I WOULD like to start a fitness business at some point too so I'll work on that as well....thanks for the tips! Now, if I could just remember to catch the lives when they start smh....
Going through a recent break up and these ladies answered A LOTTT of questions about where I went wrong in dating him in the first place and what to do after I heal ❤✨️ Thank You!!
Thank you for always having such intelligent, thought-provoking content and for always being respectful to the various women on your discussion panels. 😊
I appreciate this, these are the conversations that need to be had, it didn’t sound like anyone was talking down on single people, this is just honest conversation. I PURPOSELY ignore all these WAR BATING podcasts. This was great
I had a come to Jesus moment with myself recently about exactly what was said 46:50-47:10. I am celibate and I do not have sex but I have a line I go up to which includes kissing. Even though I NEVER cross that line I am aware that if a man even thinks he could have, that determines his level of respect and sometime interest so it’s important to tighten up ladies even if you don’t go “all the way”. Glad this came up!!
I would love to be a guest on that episode! I’m a wife and I coach women in attracting love, in my community the women are getting married within a year ❤
I really love this podcast. Great convo and thank you for putting married, classy and successful women on here. This conversation was extremely helpful in certain areas. As a Christian woman of God; I found it conflicting to hear these beautiful and intelligent women say they are Christian but was totally fine having sex before marriage. Karli went on to say how the universe will bring you what you desire. Sounds a lot like Law of Attraction which is new age and not Biblical. So this is definitely some eat the meat and spit out the bones advice. I did enjoy it though and I love the high level secrets you’re exposing Tysean 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I enjoyed this podcast! Excellent! Great advice and good real conversation! Karli and Mecca I enjoyed your advice and appreciate you sharing your experiences. Thank you! Hardly Initiated, you all provided gems that I will carry throughout my marriage journey!🙏🏾
Thank you so much for this. It's so refreshing to have marriage conversations like this from both men and women conversing together versus the other negative men vs women conversations. Looking at some comments who think the "prize and standards" mentality that the ladies are referring to is the entitled mentality. I think there is a difference between women who say this loosely vs what these ladies are saying. From what I got; they are coming from a confident "I value me" viewpoint. They know who they are and what they have to offer to a man with value. Many women and men want something that they can't give. They demand things but are too selfish to reciprocate it back. A high-value man (and I don't just mean his income) has all the qualities within himself so they seem to love a challenge and always wants "the best". Most women want them and it's easy for them to have any woman they want but when they come across a woman who is not only attractive, but she is also intelligent, supportive, agreeable, loyal, and confident. That is the prize versus so many women out there who are just attractive. That comes a dime a dozen. This is why she is the "prize". Not just saying it because she is arrogant or entitled. That's what I got from it.
Best guest as of yet! They spoke on reality and not social media reality. It was so comforting to listen to real information from real women. I related and agreed with everything they said.
“I literally just commented on The Ring Formula by Dr Tartt because that was my protection to love as a chick back in the day, even. Before there was a Steve Harvey, Act Like A… There was The Ring Formula Wow!!! Hi Mecca your beautiful!!! I just knew Dr Tartt had a beautiful wife!!! This is a sign about my journey and my husband cause I went through so many throwbacks to find that. Literally memorized that script of the ring formula!! I remember introducing myself on certain platforms as that very girl in his ring formula. I use to feel so powerful!!!😂😂😂 Go Mrs. Tartt!!!💖
I just stumbled upon this podcast and omg this conversation was soo good. These ladies dropped some great gems and the fellas gave us the game too. #Boundaries are a must!
Wow, this was real talk here!! . I totally appreciate the transparency from the ladies shared with us. I took away allot of take-aways and scenarios that added to me greatly. Thank you!
Please do a show specific to dating an entrepreneur. It would be interesting to see folks who dated and married entrepreneurs and whether the "rules" were the same.
Yep some men hide behind texts .yes on their forties. Definitely helpful about enforcing bondaries and standards I did that this year more intentional with whom I allow on my private space, share energy with and life. I enjoy been single and the peace I have in it. But , I am preparing for a partnership in marriage. Thanks for creeting this episode what a blessing 🙌🏽
I’m so glad they talked about all of this. I’m a single woman even know I talk to someone right now and we met at the gym, but we don’t work out together simply because i like to do my own thing which is run lol and he likes to lift his weights. He’s also 14 years older than me and he is 6’5 but I wasn’t looking for that type of man when I met him. I have never asked him how much money he makes and he knows I take care of myself, my own hair, nails, bills I do it all but have never said I don’t need him. I do want him haha.
Listen, when a woman says I don't need him, but I want him, you may be self sabotaging a bit. Men like to be needed, so if we feel we are not needed, we may not fully invest.
@@sean3708 exactly! I think it’s disrespectful and a blow to a man’s ego if a woman walks around like she doesn’t need him. That’s a good way for her to stay single acting like that. Reasons why I don’t do it. Nope I definitely make it known that he’s needed and wanted lol or who ever I’m talking to.
@sean3708 He shouldn't have to be falsely needed. That's a self esteem issue. Being wanted is golden. Men that need to be needed are energy vampires. Same as women who act the same. Nobody needs anyone these days. That's the beauty of choice.
@HolisticManifesting ma'am why don't you learn as much as possible about the man you say you want? You will quickly learn that most men desire that they are needed. Now, this is not necessarily the desire of a woman.
There are men who aren't Steve Harvey level successful but are legends and have set foundation for their family. Those men also deserve to be recognized and extended understanding when their daughters want to hold on to their fathers last name in some way.
I hopped on here right after u were LIVE & I saw the title & sd let me look at this for about 10 minutes and then go 2 bed. But here I am 3 hours later at almost 4 in the morning bcuz I could not get off‼️This conversation had me hooked! This show is a Blessing & I’m glad u guys r here! This was Blk Xcelentz 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I’m sorry, this advice was bad. They contradicted themselves and they both seemed to get married by happenstance. Mrs. Tartt said she wasn’t ready to be a wife, yet had 1-2 children out of wedlock and was a girlfriend for 5 years before even an engagement. Mrs. Raymond refused to cook and clean since she wasn’t a wife, but was willing to have sex? Both claim to be Christian and say everything opposite. I’m not even Christian but this math ain’t mathing. 😂 They both over-talked each other and the men. It was just…😭😭😭 I don’t suggest anyone follow this advice.
Man! Man! Man! I appreciate this conversation soooooo much! They gave us so much game, both on the make and female perspective. So glad I watched this whole video on sections.
The woman in the white is golden! Both have great perspective however the woman in the white is so full of wisdom, extremely poised.. respectful, and classy.. I could listen to her all day.. she’s the type of woman I strive to be! Names of guests please!! 🙏🏻
I'm guessing that maybe they weren't solid Christians and he wasn't a minister when they were dating. Perhaps. Although a lot of "Christians" don't necessarily follow the bible as it pertains to sexual morality.
Ha ha. I was NOT a minister at the time BUT I was a solid Christian (church, prayer, Bible study, repenting, fasting, etc.). We did fail a few times but we committed to abstinence before marriage. We dated for five years before we got married. So, a little grace please lol. It was hard but worth really committing to abstinence before we got married. Just transparency.
@@DRTARTT1 hey Dr. Tartt. Thank you for responding. I figured so. I had to put 2 and 2 togther 🤣. I currently coach single women and these episodes have been great! If you happen to come back, maybe clear the air with info. Thanks!
@@DRTARTT1 I think the confusion is that she didn't suggest that yall were abstaining until marriage at any point in this conversation. Even if she said y'all tried to wait but slipped up a few times. Her stance seemed to be to wait 90 days, not to wait until marriage.
There are no short cuts to meeting a good woman. If you want to date quality women, choose women that are self-sufficient. Don’t allow her career, job or money deter you from what may be the best woman for you. Money is a mindset and does not a prerequisite to a person’s character.
The people with active fathers learn differently about dating. That man asking how soon to get to the house is so wild. Also whole women think like these women, traumatized women think like a city girl
I really enjoyed listening to these two beautiful women. It’s refreshing to listen to what they had to say as two successful married women especially for those of us who desire marriage. Please bring them back ASAP. Great job you guys. 🙏🏼❤
I understand that social media is a major part of how a lot of people date. But i would also caution men esp. That are seeking wives amd the "sweet, feminine" women they say they desire to not exclusively judge women by their social media. Some men will judge a woman based on how many followers she does or does not have, and whether or not she even has social media. There are some really dope men and women that arent on the bandwagon and thats ok. Just my opinion 🤷🏾♀️
I really am celibate and I'm not giving a man my body , so no disrespect but they are making celibate women look bad because some people are truly trying to get to know a person before sex, and I'm glad I'm waiting because I haven't found my King yet, but I feel good no one has got away with my feelings either.
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
She knew what she brought to the table! We as women need to stop throwing our pearls to the swine.
I literally said this to myself the other day
Agreed. And see the pigpen for what it is, when it's around you.
It’s about time people start getting advise from people who are actually married.
Be careful taking advice from anyione about a life time descision. I know women who are trapped in long term bad marriages over 30 years plus and regretted every marrying the person but they can't leave because of finances, sickness or family. The outside world adores them not knowing the truth. There is no one size fits all. Marriage is individualized because people are unique in their needs and preferences. just know your slef and what qualities you want in a man that is complementary to you
Being married don't mean you are good at marriage and don't mean you will be good at giving advice either
Advice?
Listeeeennnnnn
Single people need to look to happily married women and stop listening to their bitter Betty single friends!
I agree with Karli I got married at 25 years old and really was not ready but I wanted to be married. It’s by the grace of God we are still married 🙏🏾🙏🏾36 years now
🔥🔥🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Got married at 22 and will be celebrating 14 years next week. I had no business getting married but I looked for the qualities my father had, hard worker, fix everything and would even give up bad habits for me. I'm very glad I got married when I did to the person I did. 3 kids ❤
@@jessicalopez9629 praise God 🙏🏾
Keep working at it, it gets better ❤
@@ramonachaney4855 it’s already better 😊God is good 🙏🏾🙌🏿
I really appreciate the honesty during this dialogue. My mother never taught me anything about men accept not to get pregnant. My father was absent and very inconsistent so he wasn’t a good example. These conversations are informative and healing.
Have you considered getting into a community where you can hear more and learn more from others?
Same
Same. I cried listening to this while driving
This!!
Oh my gosh! This is exactly what my mom told me and my father was the same. Wild!
Shout out to having actual wives on. Im growing annoyed with single woman "coaching" a woman into wifehood.
So true!@@Bluntgirly
If you're a darkskinned blk woman. Listen to dark skinned black married women. There are different hurdles 4 light skinned black married women.
@@Bluntgirly Girl what are you talking about "if you're pretty you're pretty". She said dark skinned vs light skinned so how did you jump to being pretty 'vs' not being pretty. Lots of so-called ugly women are married and many pretty women are not so looks are irrelevant when it comes to marriage.
I never actively thought of this@@African.Diaspora.InLondonUK but you're so on point.
@@African.Diaspora.InLondonUKvery true!
This interview TRULY showed me the importance of a daughter having a father in her life.
I totally agree
I have to say ladies, that you are an awesome model for us, single women. I have made so many mistakes but now I feel I think like you. It totally resonates with me. You are queens and you are teaching us how to put that crown!
Available father, present father more are just man and few fathers
Not just a father, a good father that is emotionally available. Alot of fathers are just "there" and think that ie enough. It is not!!
I didn't have a father in my life. My mother never dated or remarried either.
However, my mother was a strong woman role model.
And I had men around me, fathers of friends, and coaches who were very good men; examples of integrity, respect, and care, etc.
People need good role models, yes, but they don't have to be the parents to be that in a person's life.
Funny thing everything y'all said is so true. Dating became easier when I came home. My parents set boundaries and both my mom and dad coached me on boundaries. I been married for 10 years now. He proposed after 1.5 years of dating. My parents hated seeing me taken advantage of. So they just told me, instilled, hey this is what I taught you, where are your boundaries. So I got hurt so bad that I listened and I found the love of my life. Old school dating leads to deep connections.
Hi will you elaborate, please? Specifically: your parents thought your 1.5 year relationship (before marriage) was him taking advantage?
BAM! "A man who only answers to himself is a dangerous man". ❤
Right around 46:17 mark, he said "that men (himself included) can respect boundaries that are not intended just for him. And that women's boundaries should have been consistent before he came along" 🙄🙄🙄🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ ummmm Sir no! , It doesn't matter when a woman sets her boundaries. They should be followed and respected regardless of when she places them. SMH!
These two women are the real deal! Women know your worth and who God has called you to be! Set boundaries, goals, and standards, and don't be easy and settle for less because you are a kings daughter. Be who what you want.
She said it all at 1:17.. You want a man that is out of your league.. You have to be in the circle to attract a certain caliber. Affluent folks aren't at the wing spot and juicy crab and your free before 11 clubs. Once you start self improving you will meet different people. I was not the same person in my early 20's than as I got closer to 30.
So refreshing to hear mature, smart, succesful women in marriage.
FYI it really ain't that hard to get married. You just have to connect with a man with a mindset to get married. They exist.
Yep
We definitely need more conversations like this from wives that been in the game for 20+ yrs
I cooked and cleaned for my now husband from the beginning. That’s just the type of woman I am. He was busy a lot with work and I would have a lunch for him or dinner, he’d swing by and pick it up when he had time. About 5 months in he gave me his garage code and I would clean up for him and leave meals in the fridge. At the same time, there were boundaries and we didn’t sleep in each other’s home etc. We had pure dates out in the city and talked on the phone, very old school. Met and married in 11 months. Its all dependent on the type of man/woman in the equation yet I agree a woman needs to move very intentionally up front and dont let men waste your time or use your body. Men who aren’t serious will fall off accordingly.
Great convo.
•Most times it’s not difficult to figure out a man’s intentions. When invited to a man’s home, I think most women assume that his goal is sex. That doesn’t mean it will end up happening though.
•I’ve never judged anyone fully off of one good date. You have to pay attention to words and patterns over time
.
•To Ryan, there are women who are flirts or teases-they will flirt and it may seem like they’ll be down but they will pump the breaks when it comes down to it.
•Perception is important but it’s equally important to be your authentic self. Be respectful BUT never pretend-don’t be who you think someone wants to to be.
•The phrase “a woman is the prize” actually falls in line with the attitudes of many men. If you think men are the hunters and like the chase, then yes, they are seeking something rewarding…a prize so to speak. I think both men and women are gifts to one another.
•There is no one size fits all for relationships. What one man likes, another may not. Same for women. Some men marry women who they had sex with day one. Some women marry men who don’t have a lucrative career.
•
❤🥹I thoroughly enjoyed the livestream. These ladies are classy amazing wives with great advice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. I’m 30 and single and I want to become a wife. Sometimes I feel hopeless but I’ve started putting myself out there and online dating, cleaning up my social media, and going to professional networking events🙏🏿💗I know I’ll find my husband soon
Nobody adressed the 19 year old but dating for 5 married for 9. Theres some lost files 🫠🙃🙄🫨🫥🤔
Amen sista 😇
Or just no advise since everybody is different
I'm glad Karli said in her 20s she wasn't ready for that level of commitment. I'm so tired of these men shaming women who are single in their 30s and 40s as though there is no benefit to the maturity.
it is none
Agreed with most of this minus the sex prior to marriage. It's safer to have a boundary of no sex before marriage and will weed out many opportunities as mentioned in the show for the wrong people to come in to take what belongs to ones spouse.
Yes, for me it's Spiritual and I believe the Bible is clear on it. Even if you don't believe there are clear consequences on both sides for disobedience. I feel we should vet our spouse to know their character and willingness to grow with us in sexual intimacy and other forms. 😊
I have been married for 19 years without sex before marriage and its been good, bad and ugly but we're still standing and only God, Jesus The Christ, have kept us. 😂 We are still working on our sex life as we were mea.t to grow and change together. It will continue to be a work in progress until we die. 😅❤
Best comment here! It's funny that no one in the comments liking and agreeing with this. Because there's some misdirection and foolery all thru here . Of course theres alot if truth but ... without God in where up and thru here... im skeptical 🫤
Exactly!👍
Great point. Such an important boundary to maintain for so many reasons.
Completely agree with you ❤️
THIS!!!! I almost commented this early on into the video but I said let me listen all the way through. However, boundaries are different when you bring true spirituality and willingness to being obedient to Christ. I’m not perfect and have made many mistakes along the way but this is what I strive for while being intentional in dating for marriage if that makes sense. When you start to learn about generational curses, soul ties and spirit spouses whewwww!!! That’s all I’ll say!
I feel like women who live in urban environments do not have many options of men to choose from. So I believe if you live in urban environments you have to intentionally go to places where high quality men are.
These are Facts!
That's Soo true many men in the urban community don't value marriage and because they don't see it!!!
I agree . I recommend taking on some activities / hobbies that require you to be in more affluent areas.
@prettyloubey8411 you are absolutely correct. There are many reasons for this. One of the reasons are that men who have college degrees (even if they grew up in an urban environment) and no children tend not to live in these areas. We avoid poor/poverty stricken areas like the plague.
@@orvillemcpherson6417 well said. Another reason behind it is the conditioning is different . In terms of behaviors . There is also a power control dynamic where the man has more and the female has less in there’s of access to resources. Men from high social economic status knows this and many time take advantage of women from lower class ( social economic status)
Dating is challenging, however, I found great value in the topic, dialogue and questions for better navigating this experience. So, many meaningful take aways from dating with intent, sex vs waiting, mistakes women make dating, red flags and how to communicate for understanding one another. Also, I love that the host and guest emphasize the importance of having a personal connection with God, and having that foundation as a basis in the relationship. ✨ This is definetly a share and rewatch. Thank you.
Steve's daughter looks so gorgeous!!!! I haven't seen her in a while
Still waiting on finding Christian married women that were firm on abstinence or waiting until marriage on a podcast. Would love to see that next. That's typically the biggest obstacle.
Are you a man who leads by example and abstains?
Great idea!!! 💡 abstinent & celibate women next 🎉
@@MySoberSchizophrenicLife They just did an interview last week with a man and woman who were both abstaining until marriage.
These wonderful ladies are proof that A woman should not have to answer “what are you bringing to the table?”. She should just show him who she is but as a man HE has to determine if this woman will bring the right things to the table.
Bottom line: Know your identity, value, have boundaries and enforce them! Learn to properly vet men! Stop dating in the dark! Let your friends and family get to see and know these men! Stop getting so hot and bothered so early on and date ONLY in public spaces! You all have to realize that men are instinctively predatory! They know how to strategize just to get what they want. If you want to be happily married understand that most men don't want what's easy to come by! If they can get it easy, then so can the next man. Also, understand that a man that's just out to sleep with you is going to move quickly! Also, it doesn't matter if you tell a man if you are being celibate or not. Either he is going to try to wait you out or move on. Either way you learn who you are dealing with!
Thanks so much for not swearing anymore at the start. Truly admire your level up. This is a good example
I love what Steve Harvey's said Karli Harvey said the boundaries is the fence to keep good things in and bad things out
This prize and passenger princess mentality is interesting. A woman is not only an increase to a man’s like. A good man absolutely adds value to a woman is positions himself to make the ultimate sacrifice for with protection, provision and covering. Both partners brings value to building a great life and relationship, not just a woman. If we’re Biblical it’s the man that creates an environment for the woman to flourish as she pours into him, she is also becoming the highest form of woman she was created to be. Let’s elevate.
Love this!
So sweet. God bless you 🙏🏾
Yesssss🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 And Vice Versa!! My husband still amazes me even after 20+ years He stilll stands Out From the regular dude. The Way she Carrie’s himself, how he represents me & his family he was just always a different breed of Man for me even as a teenager❤ God Is Good🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #GodDoesAnswerPrayers
Yesssss!!! More of these please!!! More wives are needed to teach single woman the way!
The ladies are dropping game 🔥🔥🔥 and this episode is so real and raw. Also you guys are doing a great job keep up the good work young man I see y'all growth. 🥰🥰
It's about timing and you being what he wants. That's it. And those are out of your control. Like none of these women git married in two years, but we r told a man isn't serious about marrying you if he hasn't proposed within two years. That's why you have to move based on your individual situation, not by some arbitrary rules. The boundaries advice I agree with 100%, it protects you. People will leave a healthy loving relationship chasing a ring because he hasn't proposed in certain time line.
I strongly agree with timing and compatibility; however, the length of time for dating prior to marriage also depends on the age and maturity of the couple. Case in point, someone that is in their early 20’s may have a longer dating period than a couple in their 30’s or 40’s, sometimes people may pursue higher educational goals that are time consuming like law school. When you are older, you’ve had more time to introspect and explore what you really need and desire in a marriage partner. Moreover, people are also more likely to be more stable in their career and finances in their 30’s and 40’s. Men aren’t usually ready for marriage until they are more stable financially!
Using the maiden name as middle name is an old Southern tradition. My grandmother did that over 70 years ago. Love this.
This podcast was inspiring. These ladies are phenomenal 💕
Common mistakes MEN make when dating are leading women on. non-closure and the number one thing: conflating dating with sleeping around. Stop sleeping with women you have no further intentions than the bedroom.
Beautiful black women who're actual wives that dropped a lot of gems 🖤🖤🖤🖤
This was so amazing to listen to. I hope you get these two ladies back on soon. Thanks for all the good messages you guys put out. Def have become a fan!
Honestly, I've gone out with someone after meeting them online the first day. We met up for coffee or a light meal and oftenthey want to see me again. I think pretending like you aren't interested in someone just to prove a point is a bit much. I'm not pressed and I don't allow anyone to my home nor do I have sex with these people. I think it all boils down to compatibility and if the person's values align with mine. I love asking subconscious questions and know my worth.
They kept it ALL THE WAY REAL i love it🎉
🎉🎉 I am soooo proud of you guys. The growth is phenomenal and i know its going to keep souring to greater and greater heights. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I've been sharing your page.
I thought this was going to be a bust. Could not be more wrong! Nobody is dropping this much knowledge and information. No podcast, no video PERIOD‼️‼️‼️
Thanks for another good one! Let me work on my social media lol....I"m private so I don't like folks in my business, even if there isn't much business to be in smh lol. Most of my posts are of me running, with a few of those occasional dating posts that Ryan and Tysean were talking about lol. I had up pics from my trip to Jamaica in 2021, then took them down....never posted pics of my trip to Colombia last year smh lol. Never really thought about the fact that a guy who goes to my social media might just find me boring :) I WOULD like to start a fitness business at some point too so I'll work on that as well....thanks for the tips! Now, if I could just remember to catch the lives when they start smh....
Going through a recent break up and these ladies answered A LOTTT of questions about where I went wrong in dating him in the first place and what to do after I heal ❤✨️ Thank You!!
Me too!
Me too!!
Thank you for always having such intelligent, thought-provoking content and for always being respectful to the various women on your discussion panels. 😊
I appreciate this, these are the conversations that need to be had, it didn’t sound like anyone was talking down on single people, this is just honest conversation. I PURPOSELY ignore all these WAR BATING podcasts. This was great
I love seeing wives on here talking about what they did prior to marriage so other women can get some ideas about tweaks they might need to make
When you know your worth you can articulate it effortlessly.
Love the part of the conversation about being strategic in the spaces we go to attract likeminded men
Thank you for having these lovely ladies on ❤ they’re so right. It’s all about boundaries. Guys don’t respect you if you’re ready for anything…
I had a come to Jesus moment with myself recently about exactly what was said 46:50-47:10. I am celibate and I do not have sex but I have a line I go up to which includes kissing. Even though I NEVER cross that line I am aware that if a man even thinks he could have, that determines his level of respect and sometime interest so it’s important to tighten up ladies even if you don’t go “all the way”. Glad this came up!!
I love it! Please do another one about how to date with real wives. Not necessarily has to be those 2 ladies. I love their mindset as a wife.
I would love to be a guest on that episode! I’m a wife and I coach women in attracting love, in my community the women are getting married within a year ❤
Yaasss finally some respectable, married women willing to speak some truth 💖💖💖
I really love this podcast. Great convo and thank you for putting married, classy and successful women on here. This conversation was extremely helpful in certain areas.
As a Christian woman of God; I found it conflicting to hear these beautiful and intelligent women say they are Christian but was totally fine having sex before marriage. Karli went on to say how the universe will bring you what you desire. Sounds a lot like Law of Attraction which is new age and not Biblical.
So this is definitely some eat the meat and spit out the bones advice. I did enjoy it though and I love the high level secrets you’re exposing Tysean 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you for bringing in real housewives!😊
I enjoyed this podcast! Excellent! Great advice and good real conversation! Karli and Mecca I enjoyed your advice and appreciate you sharing your experiences. Thank you! Hardly Initiated, you all provided gems that I will carry throughout my marriage journey!🙏🏾
I cleaned up my IG because of y’all 😭
Thank you!!
Lol.
THIS was soooo good! One of the best n most helpful things I’ve ever received. Thank you all!!! ❤️
Nice! Make sure to hit subscribe
This was AMAZINGGGGGG I learned soooo much about myself with this episode Thanks to YOU ALL !!
Thank you so much for this. It's so refreshing to have marriage conversations like this from both men and women conversing together versus the other negative men vs women conversations. Looking at some comments who think the "prize and standards" mentality that the ladies are referring to is the entitled mentality. I think there is a difference between women who say this loosely vs what these ladies are saying. From what I got; they are coming from a confident "I value me" viewpoint. They know who they are and what they have to offer to a man with value. Many women and men want something that they can't give. They demand things but are too selfish to reciprocate it back. A high-value man (and I don't just mean his income) has all the qualities within himself so they seem to love a challenge and always wants "the best". Most women want them and it's easy for them to have any woman they want but when they come across a woman who is not only attractive, but she is also intelligent, supportive, agreeable, loyal, and confident. That is the prize versus so many women out there who are just attractive. That comes a dime a dozen. This is why she is the "prize". Not just saying it because she is arrogant or entitled. That's what I got from it.
Best guest as of yet! They spoke on reality and not social media reality. It was so comforting to listen to real information from real women. I related and agreed with everything they said.
“I literally just commented on The Ring Formula by Dr Tartt because that was my protection to love as a chick back in the day, even. Before there was a Steve Harvey, Act Like A… There was The Ring Formula Wow!!! Hi Mecca your beautiful!!! I just knew Dr Tartt had a beautiful wife!!! This is a sign about my journey and my husband cause I went through so many throwbacks to find that. Literally memorized that script of the ring formula!!
I remember introducing myself on certain platforms as that very girl in his ring formula. I use to feel so powerful!!!😂😂😂 Go Mrs. Tartt!!!💖
I’ve noticed that they’ve stopped saying their catch phrase at the beginning. I’m… curious as to why but also… proud.
They are changing and healing for the better and helping everyone
What was their catch phrase
Yes, I've noticed the change, too! This is good guys ❤
I just stumbled upon this podcast and omg this conversation was soo good. These ladies dropped some great gems and the fellas gave us the game too. #Boundaries are a must!
Wow, this was real talk here!! . I totally appreciate the transparency from the ladies shared with us. I took away allot of take-aways and scenarios that added to me greatly. Thank you!
The clarity I have gained from this🙏🏾 Bless you all xxx
Please do a show specific to dating an entrepreneur. It would be interesting to see folks who dated and married entrepreneurs and whether the "rules" were the same.
They're husbands are entrepreneurs.
Yep some men hide behind texts .yes on their forties. Definitely helpful about enforcing bondaries and standards I did that this year more intentional with whom I allow on my private space, share energy with and life. I enjoy been single and the peace I have in it. But , I am preparing for a partnership in marriage. Thanks for creeting this episode what a blessing 🙌🏽
I’m so glad they talked about all of this. I’m a single woman even know I talk to someone right now and we met at the gym, but we don’t work out together simply because i like to do my own thing which is run lol and he likes to lift his weights. He’s also 14 years older than me and he is 6’5 but I wasn’t looking for that type of man when I met him. I have never asked him how much money he makes and he knows I take care of myself, my own hair, nails, bills I do it all but have never said I don’t need him. I do want him haha.
Listen, when a woman says I don't need him, but I want him, you may be self sabotaging a bit. Men like to be needed, so if we feel we are not needed, we may not fully invest.
@@sean3708 exactly! I think it’s disrespectful and a blow to a man’s ego if a woman walks around like she doesn’t need him. That’s a good way for her to stay single acting like that. Reasons why I don’t do it. Nope I definitely make it known that he’s needed and wanted lol or who ever I’m talking to.
@sean3708 He shouldn't have to be falsely needed. That's a self esteem issue. Being wanted is golden. Men that need to be needed are energy vampires. Same as women who act the same. Nobody needs anyone these days. That's the beauty of choice.
@HolisticManifesting ma'am why don't you learn as much as possible about the man you say you want? You will quickly learn that most men desire that they are needed. Now, this is not necessarily the desire of a woman.
I hate this game. I chose peace child
Can y’all interview people who have been in a marriage 20+ ? They have more experience and insight that could probably help.
This was soooooo good. Thank you for having them. I learned so much
There are men who aren't Steve Harvey level successful but are legends and have set foundation for their family. Those men also deserve to be recognized and extended understanding when their daughters want to hold on to their fathers last name in some way.
I hopped on here right after u were LIVE & I saw the title & sd let me look at this for about 10 minutes and then go 2 bed. But here I am 3 hours later at almost 4 in the morning bcuz I could not get off‼️This conversation had me hooked! This show is a Blessing & I’m glad u guys r here! This was Blk Xcelentz 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Great episode. Great topic of discussion. Great clarity and advice from you and your guests. Thank you, Ty and Ryan! 💎
Our pleasure!
Thank you for this discussion. I was never taught these concepts and I appreciate them. ❤
Truly appreciate the mature conversations. Great interview.
I’m sorry, this advice was bad. They contradicted themselves and they both seemed to get married by happenstance. Mrs. Tartt said she wasn’t ready to be a wife, yet had 1-2 children out of wedlock and was a girlfriend for 5 years before even an engagement. Mrs. Raymond refused to cook and clean since she wasn’t a wife, but was willing to have sex? Both claim to be Christian and say everything opposite. I’m not even Christian but this math ain’t mathing. 😂 They both over-talked each other and the men. It was just…😭😭😭 I don’t suggest anyone follow this advice.
❤
I'm glad I discovered your UA-cam channel because you all get down to the truth about dating. Keep up the great work and keep the episodes coming. 👍👍
I throughly enjoyed this convo!!!! Having you guys giving input on the questions was insightful too!!
Wonderful episode thank you for inviting these lovely ladies on. You all, collectively, dropped so many gems.
Man! Man! Man! I appreciate this conversation soooooo much! They gave us so much game, both on the make and female perspective. So glad I watched this whole video on sections.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I am learning so much from everyone on this talk! Allot of self -reflecting and understanding
That’s was amazing! Thank you for this! Would love to see them again!
The woman in the white is golden! Both have great perspective however the woman in the white is so full of wisdom, extremely poised.. respectful, and classy.. I could listen to her all day.. she’s the type of woman I strive to be! Names of guests please!! 🙏🏻
90 day rule as a Christian woman and married a minister? Maybe I heard that incorrectly.
I'm guessing that maybe they weren't solid Christians and he wasn't a minister when they were dating. Perhaps. Although a lot of "Christians" don't necessarily follow the bible as it pertains to sexual morality.
@@filmadcamp1512 I was putting scenarios together in my head as well. Thinking that was the case as well.
Ha ha. I was NOT a minister at the time BUT I was a solid Christian (church, prayer, Bible study, repenting, fasting, etc.). We did fail a few times but we committed to abstinence before marriage. We dated for five years before we got married. So, a little grace please lol. It was hard but worth really committing to abstinence before we got married. Just transparency.
@@DRTARTT1 hey Dr. Tartt. Thank you for responding. I figured so. I had to put 2 and 2 togther 🤣. I currently coach single women and these episodes have been great! If you happen to come back, maybe clear the air with info. Thanks!
@@DRTARTT1 I think the confusion is that she didn't suggest that yall were abstaining until marriage at any point in this conversation. Even if she said y'all tried to wait but slipped up a few times. Her stance seemed to be to wait 90 days, not to wait until marriage.
There are no short cuts to meeting a good woman. If you want to date quality women, choose women that are self-sufficient. Don’t allow her career, job or money deter you from what may be the best woman for you. Money is a mindset and does not a prerequisite to a person’s character.
A woman that prioritize career over marriage and family,can never make a good wife and mother.
This episode was funny and refreshing! Great episode
All of this is soooo gooood! Thank you for this. My new favorite podcast/channel 🫶🏽
The people with active fathers learn differently about dating. That man asking how soon to get to the house is so wild. Also whole women think like these women, traumatized women think like a city girl
I really enjoyed listening to these two beautiful women. It’s refreshing to listen to what they had to say as two successful married women especially for those of us who desire marriage. Please bring them back ASAP. Great job you guys. 🙏🏼❤
I understand that social media is a major part of how a lot of people date. But i would also caution men esp. That are seeking wives amd the "sweet, feminine" women they say they desire to not exclusively judge women by their social media.
Some men will judge a woman based on how many followers she does or does not have, and whether or not she even has social media.
There are some really dope men and women that arent on the bandwagon and thats ok. Just my opinion 🤷🏾♀️
Congratulations...ladies....on your success and happily ever afters....
All. Praises to the. Most. High ...
Awwww. 2:04.. so true.. my husband flew to Guadalajara, Mexico to see me attend a book fair where i was going to negotiate with book editors.
Ive learnt so much from this conversation its definitely an eye opening
This was great I truly appreciate you all ❤❤❤❤
I enjoyed this conversation! Ty for having them on
I really am celibate and I'm not giving a man my body , so no disrespect but they are making celibate women look bad because some people are truly trying to get to know a person before sex, and I'm glad I'm waiting because I haven't found my King yet, but I feel good no one has got away with my feelings either.
Great conversation, I can't believe I watched and listened the whole 3hr conversation, but it was Good and necessary. Thank you!💜
This episode is so awesome ! Learned so much ❤
Great old school principles. Love it.