Be careful taking advice from anyione about a life time descision. I know women who are trapped in long term bad marriages over 30 years plus and regretted every marrying the person but they can't leave because of finances, sickness or family. The outside world adores them not knowing the truth. There is no one size fits all. Marriage is individualized because people are unique in their needs and preferences. just know your slef and what qualities you want in a man that is complementary to you
I agree with Karli I got married at 25 years old and really was not ready but I wanted to be married. It’s by the grace of God we are still married 🙏🏾🙏🏾36 years now
Got married at 22 and will be celebrating 14 years next week. I had no business getting married but I looked for the qualities my father had, hard worker, fix everything and would even give up bad habits for me. I'm very glad I got married when I did to the person I did. 3 kids ❤
I really appreciate the honesty during this dialogue. My mother never taught me anything about men accept not to get pregnant. My father was absent and very inconsistent so he wasn’t a good example. These conversations are informative and healing.
@@Bluntgirly Girl what are you talking about "if you're pretty you're pretty". She said dark skinned vs light skinned so how did you jump to being pretty 'vs' not being pretty. Lots of so-called ugly women are married and many pretty women are not so looks are irrelevant when it comes to marriage.
I have to say ladies, that you are an awesome model for us, single women. I have made so many mistakes but now I feel I think like you. It totally resonates with me. You are queens and you are teaching us how to put that crown!
I didn't have a father in my life. My mother never dated or remarried either. However, my mother was a strong woman role model. And I had men around me, fathers of friends, and coaches who were very good men; examples of integrity, respect, and care, etc. People need good role models, yes, but they don't have to be the parents to be that in a person's life.
Funny thing everything y'all said is so true. Dating became easier when I came home. My parents set boundaries and both my mom and dad coached me on boundaries. I been married for 10 years now. He proposed after 1.5 years of dating. My parents hated seeing me taken advantage of. So they just told me, instilled, hey this is what I taught you, where are your boundaries. So I got hurt so bad that I listened and I found the love of my life. Old school dating leads to deep connections.
These two women are the real deal! Women know your worth and who God has called you to be! Set boundaries, goals, and standards, and don't be easy and settle for less because you are a kings daughter. Be who what you want.
Right around 46:17 mark, he said "that men (himself included) can respect boundaries that are not intended just for him. And that women's boundaries should have been consistent before he came along" 🙄🙄🙄🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ ummmm Sir no! , It doesn't matter when a woman sets her boundaries. They should be followed and respected regardless of when she places them. SMH!
She said it all at 1:17.. You want a man that is out of your league.. You have to be in the circle to attract a certain caliber. Affluent folks aren't at the wing spot and juicy crab and your free before 11 clubs. Once you start self improving you will meet different people. I was not the same person in my early 20's than as I got closer to 30.
Great convo. •Most times it’s not difficult to figure out a man’s intentions. When invited to a man’s home, I think most women assume that his goal is sex. That doesn’t mean it will end up happening though. •I’ve never judged anyone fully off of one good date. You have to pay attention to words and patterns over time . •To Ryan, there are women who are flirts or teases-they will flirt and it may seem like they’ll be down but they will pump the breaks when it comes down to it. •Perception is important but it’s equally important to be your authentic self. Be respectful BUT never pretend-don’t be who you think someone wants to to be. •The phrase “a woman is the prize” actually falls in line with the attitudes of many men. If you think men are the hunters and like the chase, then yes, they are seeking something rewarding…a prize so to speak. I think both men and women are gifts to one another. •There is no one size fits all for relationships. What one man likes, another may not. Same for women. Some men marry women who they had sex with day one. Some women marry men who don’t have a lucrative career. •
I'm glad Karli said in her 20s she wasn't ready for that level of commitment. I'm so tired of these men shaming women who are single in their 30s and 40s as though there is no benefit to the maturity.
Dating is challenging, however, I found great value in the topic, dialogue and questions for better navigating this experience. So, many meaningful take aways from dating with intent, sex vs waiting, mistakes women make dating, red flags and how to communicate for understanding one another. Also, I love that the host and guest emphasize the importance of having a personal connection with God, and having that foundation as a basis in the relationship. ✨ This is definetly a share and rewatch. Thank you.
I cooked and cleaned for my now husband from the beginning. That’s just the type of woman I am. He was busy a lot with work and I would have a lunch for him or dinner, he’d swing by and pick it up when he had time. About 5 months in he gave me his garage code and I would clean up for him and leave meals in the fridge. At the same time, there were boundaries and we didn’t sleep in each other’s home etc. We had pure dates out in the city and talked on the phone, very old school. Met and married in 11 months. Its all dependent on the type of man/woman in the equation yet I agree a woman needs to move very intentionally up front and dont let men waste your time or use your body. Men who aren’t serious will fall off accordingly.
I feel like women who live in urban environments do not have many options of men to choose from. So I believe if you live in urban environments you have to intentionally go to places where high quality men are.
@prettyloubey8411 you are absolutely correct. There are many reasons for this. One of the reasons are that men who have college degrees (even if they grew up in an urban environment) and no children tend not to live in these areas. We avoid poor/poverty stricken areas like the plague.
@@orvillemcpherson6417 well said. Another reason behind it is the conditioning is different . In terms of behaviors . There is also a power control dynamic where the man has more and the female has less in there’s of access to resources. Men from high social economic status knows this and many time take advantage of women from lower class ( social economic status)
These wonderful ladies are proof that A woman should not have to answer “what are you bringing to the table?”. She should just show him who she is but as a man HE has to determine if this woman will bring the right things to the table.
❤🥹I thoroughly enjoyed the livestream. These ladies are classy amazing wives with great advice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. I’m 30 and single and I want to become a wife. Sometimes I feel hopeless but I’ve started putting myself out there and online dating, cleaning up my social media, and going to professional networking events🙏🏿💗I know I’ll find my husband soon
This was so amazing to listen to. I hope you get these two ladies back on soon. Thanks for all the good messages you guys put out. Def have become a fan!
Agreed with most of this minus the sex prior to marriage. It's safer to have a boundary of no sex before marriage and will weed out many opportunities as mentioned in the show for the wrong people to come in to take what belongs to ones spouse. Yes, for me it's Spiritual and I believe the Bible is clear on it. Even if you don't believe there are clear consequences on both sides for disobedience. I feel we should vet our spouse to know their character and willingness to grow with us in sexual intimacy and other forms. 😊 I have been married for 19 years without sex before marriage and its been good, bad and ugly but we're still standing and only God, Jesus The Christ, have kept us. 😂 We are still working on our sex life as we were mea.t to grow and change together. It will continue to be a work in progress until we die. 😅❤
Best comment here! It's funny that no one in the comments liking and agreeing with this. Because there's some misdirection and foolery all thru here . Of course theres alot if truth but ... without God in where up and thru here... im skeptical 🫤
THIS!!!! I almost commented this early on into the video but I said let me listen all the way through. However, boundaries are different when you bring true spirituality and willingness to being obedient to Christ. I’m not perfect and have made many mistakes along the way but this is what I strive for while being intentional in dating for marriage if that makes sense. When you start to learn about generational curses, soul ties and spirit spouses whewwww!!! That’s all I’ll say!
Yesssss🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 And Vice Versa!! My husband still amazes me even after 20+ years He stilll stands Out From the regular dude. The Way she Carrie’s himself, how he represents me & his family he was just always a different breed of Man for me even as a teenager❤ God Is Good🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #GodDoesAnswerPrayers
The ladies are dropping game 🔥🔥🔥 and this episode is so real and raw. Also you guys are doing a great job keep up the good work young man I see y'all growth. 🥰🥰
Wow, this was real talk here!! . I totally appreciate the transparency from the ladies shared with us. I took away allot of take-aways and scenarios that added to me greatly. Thank you!
Bottom line: Know your identity, value, have boundaries and enforce them! Learn to properly vet men! Stop dating in the dark! Let your friends and family get to see and know these men! Stop getting so hot and bothered so early on and date ONLY in public spaces! You all have to realize that men are instinctively predatory! They know how to strategize just to get what they want. If you want to be happily married understand that most men don't want what's easy to come by! If they can get it easy, then so can the next man. Also, understand that a man that's just out to sleep with you is going to move quickly! Also, it doesn't matter if you tell a man if you are being celibate or not. Either he is going to try to wait you out or move on. Either way you learn who you are dealing with!
Common mistakes MEN make when dating are leading women on. non-closure and the number one thing: conflating dating with sleeping around. Stop sleeping with women you have no further intentions than the bedroom.
Going through a recent break up and these ladies answered A LOTTT of questions about where I went wrong in dating him in the first place and what to do after I heal ❤✨️ Thank You!!
They kept it ALL THE WAY REAL i love it🎉 🎉🎉 I am soooo proud of you guys. The growth is phenomenal and i know its going to keep souring to greater and greater heights. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I've been sharing your page.
I had a come to Jesus moment with myself recently about exactly what was said 46:50-47:10. I am celibate and I do not have sex but I have a line I go up to which includes kissing. Even though I NEVER cross that line I am aware that if a man even thinks he could have, that determines his level of respect and sometime interest so it’s important to tighten up ladies even if you don’t go “all the way”. Glad this came up!!
I appreciate this, these are the conversations that need to be had, it didn’t sound like anyone was talking down on single people, this is just honest conversation. I PURPOSELY ignore all these WAR BATING podcasts. This was great
Yep some men hide behind texts .yes on their forties. Definitely helpful about enforcing bondaries and standards I did that this year more intentional with whom I allow on my private space, share energy with and life. I enjoy been single and the peace I have in it. But , I am preparing for a partnership in marriage. Thanks for creeting this episode what a blessing 🙌🏽
Still waiting on finding Christian married women that were firm on abstinence or waiting until marriage on a podcast. Would love to see that next. That's typically the biggest obstacle.
Best guest as of yet! They spoke on reality and not social media reality. It was so comforting to listen to real information from real women. I related and agreed with everything they said.
I just stumbled upon this podcast and omg this conversation was soo good. These ladies dropped some great gems and the fellas gave us the game too. #Boundaries are a must!
Thank you so much for this. It's so refreshing to have marriage conversations like this from both men and women conversing together versus the other negative men vs women conversations. Looking at some comments who think the "prize and standards" mentality that the ladies are referring to is the entitled mentality. I think there is a difference between women who say this loosely vs what these ladies are saying. From what I got; they are coming from a confident "I value me" viewpoint. They know who they are and what they have to offer to a man with value. Many women and men want something that they can't give. They demand things but are too selfish to reciprocate it back. A high-value man (and I don't just mean his income) has all the qualities within himself so they seem to love a challenge and always wants "the best". Most women want them and it's easy for them to have any woman they want but when they come across a woman who is not only attractive, but she is also intelligent, supportive, agreeable, loyal, and confident. That is the prize versus so many women out there who are just attractive. That comes a dime a dozen. This is why she is the "prize". Not just saying it because she is arrogant or entitled. That's what I got from it.
Thank you for always having such intelligent, thought-provoking content and for always being respectful to the various women on your discussion panels. 😊
“I literally just commented on The Ring Formula by Dr Tartt because that was my protection to love as a chick back in the day, even. Before there was a Steve Harvey, Act Like A… There was The Ring Formula Wow!!! Hi Mecca your beautiful!!! I just knew Dr Tartt had a beautiful wife!!! This is a sign about my journey and my husband cause I went through so many throwbacks to find that. Literally memorized that script of the ring formula!! I remember introducing myself on certain platforms as that very girl in his ring formula. I use to feel so powerful!!!😂😂😂 Go Mrs. Tartt!!!💖
I’m so glad they talked about all of this. I’m a single woman even know I talk to someone right now and we met at the gym, but we don’t work out together simply because i like to do my own thing which is run lol and he likes to lift his weights. He’s also 14 years older than me and he is 6’5 but I wasn’t looking for that type of man when I met him. I have never asked him how much money he makes and he knows I take care of myself, my own hair, nails, bills I do it all but have never said I don’t need him. I do want him haha.
Listen, when a woman says I don't need him, but I want him, you may be self sabotaging a bit. Men like to be needed, so if we feel we are not needed, we may not fully invest.
@@sean3708 exactly! I think it’s disrespectful and a blow to a man’s ego if a woman walks around like she doesn’t need him. That’s a good way for her to stay single acting like that. Reasons why I don’t do it. Nope I definitely make it known that he’s needed and wanted lol or who ever I’m talking to.
@sean3708 He shouldn't have to be falsely needed. That's a self esteem issue. Being wanted is golden. Men that need to be needed are energy vampires. Same as women who act the same. Nobody needs anyone these days. That's the beauty of choice.
@HolisticManifesting ma'am why don't you learn as much as possible about the man you say you want? You will quickly learn that most men desire that they are needed. Now, this is not necessarily the desire of a woman.
This prize and passenger princess mentality is interesting. A woman is not only an increase to a man’s like. A good man absolutely adds value to a woman is positions himself to make the ultimate sacrifice for with protection, provision and covering. Both partners brings value to building a great life and relationship, not just a woman. If we’re Biblical it’s the man that creates an environment for the woman to flourish as she pours into him, she is also becoming the highest form of woman she was created to be. Let’s elevate.
Honestly, I've gone out with someone after meeting them online the first day. We met up for coffee or a light meal and oftenthey want to see me again. I think pretending like you aren't interested in someone just to prove a point is a bit much. I'm not pressed and I don't allow anyone to my home nor do I have sex with these people. I think it all boils down to compatibility and if the person's values align with mine. I love asking subconscious questions and know my worth.
I enjoyed this podcast! Excellent! Great advice and good real conversation! Karli and Mecca I enjoyed your advice and appreciate you sharing your experiences. Thank you! Hardly Initiated, you all provided gems that I will carry throughout my marriage journey!🙏🏾
It's about timing and you being what he wants. That's it. And those are out of your control. Like none of these women git married in two years, but we r told a man isn't serious about marrying you if he hasn't proposed within two years. That's why you have to move based on your individual situation, not by some arbitrary rules. The boundaries advice I agree with 100%, it protects you. People will leave a healthy loving relationship chasing a ring because he hasn't proposed in certain time line.
I strongly agree with timing and compatibility; however, the length of time for dating prior to marriage also depends on the age and maturity of the couple. Case in point, someone that is in their early 20’s may have a longer dating period than a couple in their 30’s or 40’s, sometimes people may pursue higher educational goals that are time consuming like law school. When you are older, you’ve had more time to introspect and explore what you really need and desire in a marriage partner. Moreover, people are also more likely to be more stable in their career and finances in their 30’s and 40’s. Men aren’t usually ready for marriage until they are more stable financially!
I would love to be a guest on that episode! I’m a wife and I coach women in attracting love, in my community the women are getting married within a year ❤
I hopped on here right after u were LIVE & I saw the title & sd let me look at this for about 10 minutes and then go 2 bed. But here I am 3 hours later at almost 4 in the morning bcuz I could not get off‼️This conversation had me hooked! This show is a Blessing & I’m glad u guys r here! This was Blk Xcelentz 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Man! Man! Man! I appreciate this conversation soooooo much! They gave us so much game, both on the make and female perspective. So glad I watched this whole video on sections.
Carly Harvey said her husband didn’t ask what she brought to the table or how much money she made … of course not! Her father is Steve Harvey , HE KNEW 🥴
*From the Real Housewives: Some common mistakes women make in the dating process:* 02:00:30 1. Dating with the mindset of scarcity. (When you feel like there's not enough, you act differently.) 2. Dating the same guy with a different name. 3. Wrapping yourself up in to his life too quickly (making his world 'your' world).
*Great information, across the three hours! **02:27:00** ~ Interesting observations about the low-hanging fruit on social media (women whose social media posts indicate they are lonely and vulnerable to lesser-intentioned ~ 'savage'~ approaches online).*
I really enjoyed listening to these two beautiful women. It’s refreshing to listen to what they had to say as two successful married women especially for those of us who desire marriage. Please bring them back ASAP. Great job you guys. 🙏🏼❤
A communicative functioning family unit is important especially a knowledgeable fathers in a young ladies life. Throughout history it was the father that protected his daughter from all these unfortunate games these wolves play and prey on women. We make excuses and laugh it off how predatory males are. We need to call them predators not players.
Thanks for another good one! Let me work on my social media lol....I"m private so I don't like folks in my business, even if there isn't much business to be in smh lol. Most of my posts are of me running, with a few of those occasional dating posts that Ryan and Tysean were talking about lol. I had up pics from my trip to Jamaica in 2021, then took them down....never posted pics of my trip to Colombia last year smh lol. Never really thought about the fact that a guy who goes to my social media might just find me boring :) I WOULD like to start a fitness business at some point too so I'll work on that as well....thanks for the tips! Now, if I could just remember to catch the lives when they start smh....
The social media one is veryyyy true because even as a girl before I reply back to your dm , I scroll your Instagram 😅😅. Just to judge if you’re someone I’d like to be linked to. First impressions matter.
There are men who aren't Steve Harvey level successful but are legends and have set foundation for their family. Those men also deserve to be recognized and extended understanding when their daughters want to hold on to their fathers last name in some way.
I’m sorry, this advice was bad. They contradicted themselves and they both seemed to get married by happenstance. Mrs. Tartt said she wasn’t ready to be a wife, yet had 1-2 children out of wedlock and was a girlfriend for 5 years before even an engagement. Mrs. Raymond refused to cook and clean since she wasn’t a wife, but was willing to have sex? Both claim to be Christian and say everything opposite. I’m not even Christian but this math ain’t mathing. 😂 They both over-talked each other and the men. It was just…😭😭😭 I don’t suggest anyone follow this advice.
I thought this was going to be a bust. Could not be more wrong! Nobody is dropping this much knowledge and information. No podcast, no video PERIOD‼️‼️‼️
What a well balanced conversation that I also wish I had prior to getting married. I am so blessed by this, keep this work going because the world needs to hear it more.
This is good information for the woman that want to grow and are willing to make adjustments. Unfortunately some still wont get it and will challenge the wisdom that's being shared.. Their combativeness alone is the problem, they don't hear you..
Yo…..great episode. The ladies didn’t miss. They gave much needed info and perspective. Hope both men n women both let dem words soak in. Keep it up fellas
I'm new to the channel but enjoyed the content so far. I wish I made it to this live but I'm so glad for the honest information and views from these women. It's appreciated
Yes I got married within that time but single for 6yrs he had my heart I took for granted that we had known each other n i was safe ,then he came all this way many yrs later now ladies was this closure in Gods way because he still married but but she's sick n he's still there I still have soul ties believe he do to with me closure yess but still he set the bar for how I want to feel
Please do a show specific to dating an entrepreneur. It would be interesting to see folks who dated and married entrepreneurs and whether the "rules" were the same.
I'm guessing that maybe they weren't solid Christians and he wasn't a minister when they were dating. Perhaps. Although a lot of "Christians" don't necessarily follow the bible as it pertains to sexual morality.
Ha ha. I was NOT a minister at the time BUT I was a solid Christian (church, prayer, Bible study, repenting, fasting, etc.). We did fail a few times but we committed to abstinence before marriage. We dated for five years before we got married. So, a little grace please lol. It was hard but worth really committing to abstinence before we got married. Just transparency.
@@DRTARTT1 hey Dr. Tartt. Thank you for responding. I figured so. I had to put 2 and 2 togther 🤣. I currently coach single women and these episodes have been great! If you happen to come back, maybe clear the air with info. Thanks!
@@DRTARTT1 I think the confusion is that she didn't suggest that yall were abstaining until marriage at any point in this conversation. Even if she said y'all tried to wait but slipped up a few times. Her stance seemed to be to wait 90 days, not to wait until marriage.
👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards
It’s about time people start getting advise from people who are actually married.
Be careful taking advice from anyione about a life time descision. I know women who are trapped in long term bad marriages over 30 years plus and regretted every marrying the person but they can't leave because of finances, sickness or family. The outside world adores them not knowing the truth. There is no one size fits all. Marriage is individualized because people are unique in their needs and preferences. just know your slef and what qualities you want in a man that is complementary to you
Being married don't mean you are good at marriage and don't mean you will be good at giving advice either
Advice?
Listeeeennnnnn
Single people need to look to happily married women and stop listening to their bitter Betty single friends!
She knew what she brought to the table! We as women need to stop throwing our pearls to the swine.
I literally said this to myself the other day
Agreed. And see the pigpen for what it is, when it's around you.
I agree with Karli I got married at 25 years old and really was not ready but I wanted to be married. It’s by the grace of God we are still married 🙏🏾🙏🏾36 years now
🔥🔥🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Got married at 22 and will be celebrating 14 years next week. I had no business getting married but I looked for the qualities my father had, hard worker, fix everything and would even give up bad habits for me. I'm very glad I got married when I did to the person I did. 3 kids ❤
@@jessicalopez9629 praise God 🙏🏾
Keep working at it, it gets better ❤
@@ramonachaney4855 it’s already better 😊God is good 🙏🏾🙌🏿
I really appreciate the honesty during this dialogue. My mother never taught me anything about men accept not to get pregnant. My father was absent and very inconsistent so he wasn’t a good example. These conversations are informative and healing.
Have you considered getting into a community where you can hear more and learn more from others?
Same
Same. I cried listening to this while driving
This!!
Oh my gosh! This is exactly what my mom told me and my father was the same. Wild!
Shout out to having actual wives on. Im growing annoyed with single woman "coaching" a woman into wifehood.
So true!@@Bluntgirly
If you're a darkskinned blk woman. Listen to dark skinned black married women. There are different hurdles 4 light skinned black married women.
@@Bluntgirly Girl what are you talking about "if you're pretty you're pretty". She said dark skinned vs light skinned so how did you jump to being pretty 'vs' not being pretty. Lots of so-called ugly women are married and many pretty women are not so looks are irrelevant when it comes to marriage.
I never actively thought of this@@African.Diaspora.InLondonUK but you're so on point.
@@African.Diaspora.InLondonUKvery true!
This interview TRULY showed me the importance of a daughter having a father in her life.
I totally agree
I have to say ladies, that you are an awesome model for us, single women. I have made so many mistakes but now I feel I think like you. It totally resonates with me. You are queens and you are teaching us how to put that crown!
Available father, present father more are just man and few fathers
Not just a father, a good father that is emotionally available. Alot of fathers are just "there" and think that ie enough. It is not!!
I didn't have a father in my life. My mother never dated or remarried either.
However, my mother was a strong woman role model.
And I had men around me, fathers of friends, and coaches who were very good men; examples of integrity, respect, and care, etc.
People need good role models, yes, but they don't have to be the parents to be that in a person's life.
Funny thing everything y'all said is so true. Dating became easier when I came home. My parents set boundaries and both my mom and dad coached me on boundaries. I been married for 10 years now. He proposed after 1.5 years of dating. My parents hated seeing me taken advantage of. So they just told me, instilled, hey this is what I taught you, where are your boundaries. So I got hurt so bad that I listened and I found the love of my life. Old school dating leads to deep connections.
Hi will you elaborate, please? Specifically: your parents thought your 1.5 year relationship (before marriage) was him taking advantage?
BAM! "A man who only answers to himself is a dangerous man". ❤
So refreshing to hear mature, smart, succesful women in marriage.
These two women are the real deal! Women know your worth and who God has called you to be! Set boundaries, goals, and standards, and don't be easy and settle for less because you are a kings daughter. Be who what you want.
Right around 46:17 mark, he said "that men (himself included) can respect boundaries that are not intended just for him. And that women's boundaries should have been consistent before he came along" 🙄🙄🙄🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ ummmm Sir no! , It doesn't matter when a woman sets her boundaries. They should be followed and respected regardless of when she places them. SMH!
She said it all at 1:17.. You want a man that is out of your league.. You have to be in the circle to attract a certain caliber. Affluent folks aren't at the wing spot and juicy crab and your free before 11 clubs. Once you start self improving you will meet different people. I was not the same person in my early 20's than as I got closer to 30.
We definitely need more conversations like this from wives that been in the game for 20+ yrs
Great convo.
•Most times it’s not difficult to figure out a man’s intentions. When invited to a man’s home, I think most women assume that his goal is sex. That doesn’t mean it will end up happening though.
•I’ve never judged anyone fully off of one good date. You have to pay attention to words and patterns over time
.
•To Ryan, there are women who are flirts or teases-they will flirt and it may seem like they’ll be down but they will pump the breaks when it comes down to it.
•Perception is important but it’s equally important to be your authentic self. Be respectful BUT never pretend-don’t be who you think someone wants to to be.
•The phrase “a woman is the prize” actually falls in line with the attitudes of many men. If you think men are the hunters and like the chase, then yes, they are seeking something rewarding…a prize so to speak. I think both men and women are gifts to one another.
•There is no one size fits all for relationships. What one man likes, another may not. Same for women. Some men marry women who they had sex with day one. Some women marry men who don’t have a lucrative career.
•
I'm glad Karli said in her 20s she wasn't ready for that level of commitment. I'm so tired of these men shaming women who are single in their 30s and 40s as though there is no benefit to the maturity.
it is none
FYI it really ain't that hard to get married. You just have to connect with a man with a mindset to get married. They exist.
Yep
Dating is challenging, however, I found great value in the topic, dialogue and questions for better navigating this experience. So, many meaningful take aways from dating with intent, sex vs waiting, mistakes women make dating, red flags and how to communicate for understanding one another. Also, I love that the host and guest emphasize the importance of having a personal connection with God, and having that foundation as a basis in the relationship. ✨ This is definetly a share and rewatch. Thank you.
I cooked and cleaned for my now husband from the beginning. That’s just the type of woman I am. He was busy a lot with work and I would have a lunch for him or dinner, he’d swing by and pick it up when he had time. About 5 months in he gave me his garage code and I would clean up for him and leave meals in the fridge. At the same time, there were boundaries and we didn’t sleep in each other’s home etc. We had pure dates out in the city and talked on the phone, very old school. Met and married in 11 months. Its all dependent on the type of man/woman in the equation yet I agree a woman needs to move very intentionally up front and dont let men waste your time or use your body. Men who aren’t serious will fall off accordingly.
Thanks so much for not swearing anymore at the start. Truly admire your level up. This is a good example
I love what Steve Harvey's said Karli Harvey said the boundaries is the fence to keep good things in and bad things out
I feel like women who live in urban environments do not have many options of men to choose from. So I believe if you live in urban environments you have to intentionally go to places where high quality men are.
These are Facts!
That's Soo true many men in the urban community don't value marriage and because they don't see it!!!
I agree . I recommend taking on some activities / hobbies that require you to be in more affluent areas.
@prettyloubey8411 you are absolutely correct. There are many reasons for this. One of the reasons are that men who have college degrees (even if they grew up in an urban environment) and no children tend not to live in these areas. We avoid poor/poverty stricken areas like the plague.
@@orvillemcpherson6417 well said. Another reason behind it is the conditioning is different . In terms of behaviors . There is also a power control dynamic where the man has more and the female has less in there’s of access to resources. Men from high social economic status knows this and many time take advantage of women from lower class ( social economic status)
These wonderful ladies are proof that A woman should not have to answer “what are you bringing to the table?”. She should just show him who she is but as a man HE has to determine if this woman will bring the right things to the table.
❤🥹I thoroughly enjoyed the livestream. These ladies are classy amazing wives with great advice. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with me. I’m 30 and single and I want to become a wife. Sometimes I feel hopeless but I’ve started putting myself out there and online dating, cleaning up my social media, and going to professional networking events🙏🏿💗I know I’ll find my husband soon
Nobody adressed the 19 year old but dating for 5 married for 9. Theres some lost files 🫠🙃🙄🫨🫥🤔
Amen sista 😇
Or just no advise since everybody is different
Steve's daughter looks so gorgeous!!!! I haven't seen her in a while
This was so amazing to listen to. I hope you get these two ladies back on soon. Thanks for all the good messages you guys put out. Def have become a fan!
Agreed with most of this minus the sex prior to marriage. It's safer to have a boundary of no sex before marriage and will weed out many opportunities as mentioned in the show for the wrong people to come in to take what belongs to ones spouse.
Yes, for me it's Spiritual and I believe the Bible is clear on it. Even if you don't believe there are clear consequences on both sides for disobedience. I feel we should vet our spouse to know their character and willingness to grow with us in sexual intimacy and other forms. 😊
I have been married for 19 years without sex before marriage and its been good, bad and ugly but we're still standing and only God, Jesus The Christ, have kept us. 😂 We are still working on our sex life as we were mea.t to grow and change together. It will continue to be a work in progress until we die. 😅❤
Best comment here! It's funny that no one in the comments liking and agreeing with this. Because there's some misdirection and foolery all thru here . Of course theres alot if truth but ... without God in where up and thru here... im skeptical 🫤
Exactly!👍
Great point. Such an important boundary to maintain for so many reasons.
Completely agree with you ❤️
THIS!!!! I almost commented this early on into the video but I said let me listen all the way through. However, boundaries are different when you bring true spirituality and willingness to being obedient to Christ. I’m not perfect and have made many mistakes along the way but this is what I strive for while being intentional in dating for marriage if that makes sense. When you start to learn about generational curses, soul ties and spirit spouses whewwww!!! That’s all I’ll say!
Yesssss🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 And Vice Versa!! My husband still amazes me even after 20+ years He stilll stands Out From the regular dude. The Way she Carrie’s himself, how he represents me & his family he was just always a different breed of Man for me even as a teenager❤ God Is Good🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 #GodDoesAnswerPrayers
Using the maiden name as middle name is an old Southern tradition. My grandmother did that over 70 years ago. Love this.
Awwww. 2:04.. so true.. my husband flew to Guadalajara, Mexico to see me attend a book fair where i was going to negotiate with book editors.
The ladies are dropping game 🔥🔥🔥 and this episode is so real and raw. Also you guys are doing a great job keep up the good work young man I see y'all growth. 🥰🥰
Wow, this was real talk here!! . I totally appreciate the transparency from the ladies shared with us. I took away allot of take-aways and scenarios that added to me greatly. Thank you!
Bottom line: Know your identity, value, have boundaries and enforce them! Learn to properly vet men! Stop dating in the dark! Let your friends and family get to see and know these men! Stop getting so hot and bothered so early on and date ONLY in public spaces! You all have to realize that men are instinctively predatory! They know how to strategize just to get what they want. If you want to be happily married understand that most men don't want what's easy to come by! If they can get it easy, then so can the next man. Also, understand that a man that's just out to sleep with you is going to move quickly! Also, it doesn't matter if you tell a man if you are being celibate or not. Either he is going to try to wait you out or move on. Either way you learn who you are dealing with!
Common mistakes MEN make when dating are leading women on. non-closure and the number one thing: conflating dating with sleeping around. Stop sleeping with women you have no further intentions than the bedroom.
Going through a recent break up and these ladies answered A LOTTT of questions about where I went wrong in dating him in the first place and what to do after I heal ❤✨️ Thank You!!
Me too!
Me too!!
They kept it ALL THE WAY REAL i love it🎉
🎉🎉 I am soooo proud of you guys. The growth is phenomenal and i know its going to keep souring to greater and greater heights. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I've been sharing your page.
I had a come to Jesus moment with myself recently about exactly what was said 46:50-47:10. I am celibate and I do not have sex but I have a line I go up to which includes kissing. Even though I NEVER cross that line I am aware that if a man even thinks he could have, that determines his level of respect and sometime interest so it’s important to tighten up ladies even if you don’t go “all the way”. Glad this came up!!
Yesssss!!! More of these please!!! More wives are needed to teach single woman the way!
Love the part of the conversation about being strategic in the spaces we go to attract likeminded men
I appreciate this, these are the conversations that need to be had, it didn’t sound like anyone was talking down on single people, this is just honest conversation. I PURPOSELY ignore all these WAR BATING podcasts. This was great
Yep some men hide behind texts .yes on their forties. Definitely helpful about enforcing bondaries and standards I did that this year more intentional with whom I allow on my private space, share energy with and life. I enjoy been single and the peace I have in it. But , I am preparing for a partnership in marriage. Thanks for creeting this episode what a blessing 🙌🏽
Still waiting on finding Christian married women that were firm on abstinence or waiting until marriage on a podcast. Would love to see that next. That's typically the biggest obstacle.
Are you a man who leads by example and abstains?
Great idea!!! 💡 abstinent & celibate women next 🎉
@@MySoberSchizophrenicLife They just did an interview last week with a man and woman who were both abstaining until marriage.
Best guest as of yet! They spoke on reality and not social media reality. It was so comforting to listen to real information from real women. I related and agreed with everything they said.
I just stumbled upon this podcast and omg this conversation was soo good. These ladies dropped some great gems and the fellas gave us the game too. #Boundaries are a must!
Thank you so much for this. It's so refreshing to have marriage conversations like this from both men and women conversing together versus the other negative men vs women conversations. Looking at some comments who think the "prize and standards" mentality that the ladies are referring to is the entitled mentality. I think there is a difference between women who say this loosely vs what these ladies are saying. From what I got; they are coming from a confident "I value me" viewpoint. They know who they are and what they have to offer to a man with value. Many women and men want something that they can't give. They demand things but are too selfish to reciprocate it back. A high-value man (and I don't just mean his income) has all the qualities within himself so they seem to love a challenge and always wants "the best". Most women want them and it's easy for them to have any woman they want but when they come across a woman who is not only attractive, but she is also intelligent, supportive, agreeable, loyal, and confident. That is the prize versus so many women out there who are just attractive. That comes a dime a dozen. This is why she is the "prize". Not just saying it because she is arrogant or entitled. That's what I got from it.
This podcast was inspiring. These ladies are phenomenal 💕
Thank you for having these lovely ladies on ❤ they’re so right. It’s all about boundaries. Guys don’t respect you if you’re ready for anything…
THIS was soooo good! One of the best n most helpful things I’ve ever received. Thank you all!!! ❤️
Nice! Make sure to hit subscribe
Thank you for always having such intelligent, thought-provoking content and for always being respectful to the various women on your discussion panels. 😊
“I literally just commented on The Ring Formula by Dr Tartt because that was my protection to love as a chick back in the day, even. Before there was a Steve Harvey, Act Like A… There was The Ring Formula Wow!!! Hi Mecca your beautiful!!! I just knew Dr Tartt had a beautiful wife!!! This is a sign about my journey and my husband cause I went through so many throwbacks to find that. Literally memorized that script of the ring formula!!
I remember introducing myself on certain platforms as that very girl in his ring formula. I use to feel so powerful!!!😂😂😂 Go Mrs. Tartt!!!💖
I’m so glad they talked about all of this. I’m a single woman even know I talk to someone right now and we met at the gym, but we don’t work out together simply because i like to do my own thing which is run lol and he likes to lift his weights. He’s also 14 years older than me and he is 6’5 but I wasn’t looking for that type of man when I met him. I have never asked him how much money he makes and he knows I take care of myself, my own hair, nails, bills I do it all but have never said I don’t need him. I do want him haha.
Listen, when a woman says I don't need him, but I want him, you may be self sabotaging a bit. Men like to be needed, so if we feel we are not needed, we may not fully invest.
@@sean3708 exactly! I think it’s disrespectful and a blow to a man’s ego if a woman walks around like she doesn’t need him. That’s a good way for her to stay single acting like that. Reasons why I don’t do it. Nope I definitely make it known that he’s needed and wanted lol or who ever I’m talking to.
@sean3708 He shouldn't have to be falsely needed. That's a self esteem issue. Being wanted is golden. Men that need to be needed are energy vampires. Same as women who act the same. Nobody needs anyone these days. That's the beauty of choice.
@HolisticManifesting ma'am why don't you learn as much as possible about the man you say you want? You will quickly learn that most men desire that they are needed. Now, this is not necessarily the desire of a woman.
This prize and passenger princess mentality is interesting. A woman is not only an increase to a man’s like. A good man absolutely adds value to a woman is positions himself to make the ultimate sacrifice for with protection, provision and covering. Both partners brings value to building a great life and relationship, not just a woman. If we’re Biblical it’s the man that creates an environment for the woman to flourish as she pours into him, she is also becoming the highest form of woman she was created to be. Let’s elevate.
Love this!
So sweet. God bless you 🙏🏾
This was AMAZINGGGGGG I learned soooo much about myself with this episode Thanks to YOU ALL !!
I love seeing wives on here talking about what they did prior to marriage so other women can get some ideas about tweaks they might need to make
Honestly, I've gone out with someone after meeting them online the first day. We met up for coffee or a light meal and oftenthey want to see me again. I think pretending like you aren't interested in someone just to prove a point is a bit much. I'm not pressed and I don't allow anyone to my home nor do I have sex with these people. I think it all boils down to compatibility and if the person's values align with mine. I love asking subconscious questions and know my worth.
I enjoyed this podcast! Excellent! Great advice and good real conversation! Karli and Mecca I enjoyed your advice and appreciate you sharing your experiences. Thank you! Hardly Initiated, you all provided gems that I will carry throughout my marriage journey!🙏🏾
It's about timing and you being what he wants. That's it. And those are out of your control. Like none of these women git married in two years, but we r told a man isn't serious about marrying you if he hasn't proposed within two years. That's why you have to move based on your individual situation, not by some arbitrary rules. The boundaries advice I agree with 100%, it protects you. People will leave a healthy loving relationship chasing a ring because he hasn't proposed in certain time line.
I strongly agree with timing and compatibility; however, the length of time for dating prior to marriage also depends on the age and maturity of the couple. Case in point, someone that is in their early 20’s may have a longer dating period than a couple in their 30’s or 40’s, sometimes people may pursue higher educational goals that are time consuming like law school. When you are older, you’ve had more time to introspect and explore what you really need and desire in a marriage partner. Moreover, people are also more likely to be more stable in their career and finances in their 30’s and 40’s. Men aren’t usually ready for marriage until they are more stable financially!
I am learning so much from everyone on this talk! Allot of self -reflecting and understanding
I love it! Please do another one about how to date with real wives. Not necessarily has to be those 2 ladies. I love their mindset as a wife.
I would love to be a guest on that episode! I’m a wife and I coach women in attracting love, in my community the women are getting married within a year ❤
Wonderful episode thank you for inviting these lovely ladies on. You all, collectively, dropped so many gems.
This was soooooo good. Thank you for having them. I learned so much
The clarity I have gained from this🙏🏾 Bless you all xxx
When you know your worth you can articulate it effortlessly.
I hopped on here right after u were LIVE & I saw the title & sd let me look at this for about 10 minutes and then go 2 bed. But here I am 3 hours later at almost 4 in the morning bcuz I could not get off‼️This conversation had me hooked! This show is a Blessing & I’m glad u guys r here! This was Blk Xcelentz 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
I throughly enjoyed this convo!!!! Having you guys giving input on the questions was insightful too!!
Man! Man! Man! I appreciate this conversation soooooo much! They gave us so much game, both on the make and female perspective. So glad I watched this whole video on sections.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Beautiful black women who're actual wives that dropped a lot of gems 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Carly Harvey said her husband didn’t ask what she brought to the table or how much money she made … of course not! Her father is Steve Harvey , HE KNEW 🥴
I'm glad I discovered your UA-cam channel because you all get down to the truth about dating. Keep up the great work and keep the episodes coming. 👍👍
*From the Real Housewives: Some common mistakes women make in the dating process:* 02:00:30
1. Dating with the mindset of scarcity. (When you feel like there's not enough, you act differently.)
2. Dating the same guy with a different name.
3. Wrapping yourself up in to his life too quickly (making his world 'your' world).
*Great information, across the three hours! **02:27:00** ~ Interesting observations about the low-hanging fruit on social media (women whose social media posts indicate they are lonely and vulnerable to lesser-intentioned ~ 'savage'~ approaches online).*
I really enjoyed listening to these two beautiful women. It’s refreshing to listen to what they had to say as two successful married women especially for those of us who desire marriage. Please bring them back ASAP. Great job you guys. 🙏🏼❤
I hate this game. I chose peace child
Thank you for bringing in real housewives!😊
A communicative functioning family unit is important especially a knowledgeable fathers in a young ladies life. Throughout history it was the father that protected his daughter from all these unfortunate games these wolves play and prey on women. We make excuses and laugh it off how predatory males are. We need to call them predators not players.
Willing to have sex while dating ain't a problem but cooking food is where they draw the line that's the dumbest shit ever
💯
Exactly...their advice was really off to me. These are modern wives
I thought the same thing. This advice was horrible.
I am guessing because she enjoys sex so it is mutually beneficial. Cooking is a task.
Both are not desirable.
Thanks for another good one! Let me work on my social media lol....I"m private so I don't like folks in my business, even if there isn't much business to be in smh lol. Most of my posts are of me running, with a few of those occasional dating posts that Ryan and Tysean were talking about lol. I had up pics from my trip to Jamaica in 2021, then took them down....never posted pics of my trip to Colombia last year smh lol. Never really thought about the fact that a guy who goes to my social media might just find me boring :) I WOULD like to start a fitness business at some point too so I'll work on that as well....thanks for the tips! Now, if I could just remember to catch the lives when they start smh....
The social media one is veryyyy true because even as a girl before I reply back to your dm , I scroll your Instagram 😅😅. Just to judge if you’re someone I’d like to be linked to. First impressions matter.
That’s was amazing! Thank you for this! Would love to see them again!
There are men who aren't Steve Harvey level successful but are legends and have set foundation for their family. Those men also deserve to be recognized and extended understanding when their daughters want to hold on to their fathers last name in some way.
I’m sorry, this advice was bad. They contradicted themselves and they both seemed to get married by happenstance. Mrs. Tartt said she wasn’t ready to be a wife, yet had 1-2 children out of wedlock and was a girlfriend for 5 years before even an engagement. Mrs. Raymond refused to cook and clean since she wasn’t a wife, but was willing to have sex? Both claim to be Christian and say everything opposite. I’m not even Christian but this math ain’t mathing. 😂 They both over-talked each other and the men. It was just…😭😭😭 I don’t suggest anyone follow this advice.
❤
Thank you for this discussion. I was never taught these concepts and I appreciate them. ❤
Congratulations...ladies....on your success and happily ever afters....
All. Praises to the. Most. High ...
I cleaned up my IG because of y’all 😭
Thank you!!
Lol.
I thought this was going to be a bust. Could not be more wrong! Nobody is dropping this much knowledge and information. No podcast, no video PERIOD‼️‼️‼️
Great episode. Great topic of discussion. Great clarity and advice from you and your guests. Thank you, Ty and Ryan! 💎
Our pleasure!
What a well balanced conversation that I also wish I had prior to getting married. I am so blessed by this, keep this work going because the world needs to hear it more.
Yaasss finally some respectable, married women willing to speak some truth 💖💖💖
This is good information for the woman that want to grow and are willing to make adjustments. Unfortunately some still wont get it and will challenge the wisdom that's being shared.. Their combativeness alone is the problem, they don't hear you..
All of this is soooo gooood! Thank you for this. My new favorite podcast/channel 🫶🏽
Yo…..great episode. The ladies didn’t miss. They gave much needed info and perspective. Hope both men n women both let dem words soak in. Keep it up fellas
Great conversation, I can't believe I watched and listened the whole 3hr conversation, but it was Good and necessary. Thank you!💜
I'm new to the channel but enjoyed the content so far. I wish I made it to this live but I'm so glad for the honest information and views from these women. It's appreciated
Yes I got married within that time but single for 6yrs he had my heart I took for granted that we had known each other n i was safe ,then he came all this way many yrs later now ladies was this closure in Gods way because he still married but but she's sick n he's still there I still have soul ties believe he do to with me closure yess but still he set the bar for how I want to feel
Truly appreciate the mature conversations. Great interview.
43:03 ouch. Definitely my problem. I haven’t gone out the house to do anything to change the situation.
This was a really good conversation! I love the energy the Ladies brought! It gives me hope! Thanks for bringing them on the show!
Please do a show specific to dating an entrepreneur. It would be interesting to see folks who dated and married entrepreneurs and whether the "rules" were the same.
They're husbands are entrepreneurs.
I’ve noticed that they’ve stopped saying their catch phrase at the beginning. I’m… curious as to why but also… proud.
They are changing and healing for the better and helping everyone
What was their catch phrase
Yes, I've noticed the change, too! This is good guys ❤
90 day rule as a Christian woman and married a minister? Maybe I heard that incorrectly.
I'm guessing that maybe they weren't solid Christians and he wasn't a minister when they were dating. Perhaps. Although a lot of "Christians" don't necessarily follow the bible as it pertains to sexual morality.
@@filmadcamp1512 I was putting scenarios together in my head as well. Thinking that was the case as well.
Ha ha. I was NOT a minister at the time BUT I was a solid Christian (church, prayer, Bible study, repenting, fasting, etc.). We did fail a few times but we committed to abstinence before marriage. We dated for five years before we got married. So, a little grace please lol. It was hard but worth really committing to abstinence before we got married. Just transparency.
@@DRTARTT1 hey Dr. Tartt. Thank you for responding. I figured so. I had to put 2 and 2 togther 🤣. I currently coach single women and these episodes have been great! If you happen to come back, maybe clear the air with info. Thanks!
@@DRTARTT1 I think the confusion is that she didn't suggest that yall were abstaining until marriage at any point in this conversation. Even if she said y'all tried to wait but slipped up a few times. Her stance seemed to be to wait 90 days, not to wait until marriage.