Metal Gear Survive Review - YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS

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  • Опубліковано 2 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 633

  • @BBSomali
    @BBSomali 6 років тому +1458

    Laughed so hard my parents woke up...thnx

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +421

      tell them to subscribe

    • @Otispace
      @Otispace 6 років тому +19

      that intro was amazing xD

    • @jameslindsay5889
      @jameslindsay5889 6 років тому +6

      Maybe think about getting your own roon.

    • @SL4PSH0CK
      @SL4PSH0CK 6 років тому +3

      Same now im back in the spanking dungeon.

    • @thesorrow96
      @thesorrow96 5 років тому +2

      @@RealRanton lol

  • @jabbamacchiato4673
    @jabbamacchiato4673 6 років тому +1396

    who would have thought that a recommended video on shaolin monks would send me to an awesome gaming channel. subbed ...

  • @nikorobinson317
    @nikorobinson317 6 років тому +795

    Can we just take a moment to appreciate how accurate that intro was 😂😂

  • @josephmcdonagh8389
    @josephmcdonagh8389 6 років тому +330

    'Rinse and repeat like a condom.'

  • @toxendon
    @toxendon 6 років тому +150

    I can't express how happy I am that I stumbled across this channel omg

    • @sjakkoo
      @sjakkoo 6 років тому

      Eratosthenes hahahahaha same

  • @jonathan6855
    @jonathan6855 6 років тому +292

    you said it was goona be a pure cring intro.
    i think it was the best one so far

  • @TKTKTK7031
    @TKTKTK7031 6 років тому +177

    Best Denglisch UA-cam Channel ever auf UA-cam wo gibt.

  • @Zenom1
    @Zenom1 6 років тому +78

    "a glory hole is a great source of protein but not for video game design ideas" bro you crack me up love your reviews keep it up!!

    • @Bossfightmedia
      @Bossfightmedia 2 роки тому

      Can we although 4 years late, let it be known that although popular believe, actually there is No Protein in it?
      There are however alotta Other Things that make it a real powerfood. 😂

  • @kisdaflag
    @kisdaflag 6 років тому +128

    "The Polish shot first"" hahahaha jesus. I found you channel after randomly seeing your Shaolin video. The contrast between that video and your regular stuff is most hilarious.

    • @johnnyrr2643
      @johnnyrr2643 4 роки тому +2

      Almost choked on my food at that one. It's amazing how he can split between these styles. Probably due to his stretching in the monastery :D

    • @Bialy_1
      @Bialy_1 3 роки тому +1

      There is an old Polish commedy "How I Unleashed World War II" The main hero is a Polish soldier that fall asleep in train that was moving his unit to the Polish-German border, it was international train and his unit forgot to wake him up. He then wake up on the other side of the border, left train to take a piss and saw German general that was counting seconds to the start of WW2... Then he yeled "Oh God saboteur!", the general saw him and started to run awey and Polish soldier in response made a warning shot. You can find first part of this comedy at YT "Jak rozpętałem drugą wojnę światową 1969 ODC 1" rewind it to 3min to start watching from the moment where train is crossing the border. ;)

  • @JTuam101
    @JTuam101 6 років тому +117

    your humour .....is another level LMFAO...anyway good review!! please more bro :))))))

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +2

      more is coming soon! :)

  • @star_gater
    @star_gater 6 років тому +56

    saw this notification while watching black panther. left the theater and went home to watch this

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +9

      well, was it worth it? xD

    • @star_gater
      @star_gater 6 років тому +3

      Ranton you know it boii

    • @XX-121
      @XX-121 4 роки тому

      you didn't miss anything good.

  • @zacharyfitzpatrick52
    @zacharyfitzpatrick52 6 років тому +65

    Those intros never disappoint

  • @farerawei2469
    @farerawei2469 6 років тому +55

    0:47 instant sub

  • @erkansariaydin3800
    @erkansariaydin3800 6 років тому +22

    Wow Ranton, im really suprised how fast your channel is growing. I am really happy for you. If this growth continues i have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that you will make a comfortable living. (And i want that lol, because you put sooo much effort plus your content is very enjoyable to watch :))

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +5

      thank you very much. I’m still very far away from making money off this channel but hopefully one day soon

    • @akidnamedkush
      @akidnamedkush 4 роки тому

      @@RealRanton Sooooon you say? Hehehehe

  • @Drankeranker
    @Drankeranker 6 років тому +55

    I don't even like Metal Gear, but I would never wish this game on anyone's favorite franchise, reminds me of what Andromeda did to Mass Effect. But awesome video, made me laugh as always, classic Ranton ;)

    • @emulation2369
      @emulation2369 6 років тому

      AC!D did things a lot worse then this game did

    • @midshipman8654
      @midshipman8654 5 років тому

      Suolubaf yah but Ac!d was a side game on the PSP instead of a main line concol and was completely non canon and had it’s on universe , and it was during a time without much mgs controversy. This one is a full on game, set in the same universe (still non canon though) and during the whole Kojima-Konami debacle.
      If they litteraly just called it “survive” and set it apart from metal gear people would all it a decent game.

    • @timekeeper2538
      @timekeeper2538 5 років тому

      @@emulation2369 No it didn't, Acid definitely respected the point of the Metal Gear name, that is espionage (the gameplay just sucked)

    • @mariosmatzoros3553
      @mariosmatzoros3553 5 років тому

      @@timekeeper2538 Acid 2 was decent.

  • @Bhamoss
    @Bhamoss 6 років тому +200

    Youre intro's are putting Angry Joe's intro's to shame. Keep up te brilliant work. BTW you should come up with a name for youre subs

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +31

      I cant think of a good one... :( If u got good ideas, tweet them at me boi

    • @doomhead7719
      @doomhead7719 6 років тому +8

      angry Joe's never had shame. I love angry Joe too, but his skits are pure cringe, I go to Joe for the rage and here now for the humor

    • @OneTrickBrett
      @OneTrickBrett 6 років тому +1

      Ranton call them the linguinis

    • @victorfinnigan3965
      @victorfinnigan3965 6 років тому

      @@RealRanton How about "Rantoneers"?

    • @maxinerose2246
      @maxinerose2246 5 років тому +13

      rantards would be suitable

  • @mrcookiegamgamer
    @mrcookiegamgamer 6 років тому +48

    so what you're telling me is that if i beat metal gear survive 100% and buying all the save slots the path to shaolin temple will open?

  • @SamytyKill
    @SamytyKill 4 роки тому +9

    "Kuban Energay" just doesn't stop sounding like a slang word for cocaine...

  • @Grohn2000
    @Grohn2000 6 років тому +20

    Great job! :D Hilarious intro as always :P

  • @Kafetti
    @Kafetti 4 роки тому +2

    Man, when the protag has a little Vietnam flashback of Frank, I died

  • @shaolin.mma.
    @shaolin.mma. 6 років тому +17

    Digger, du bist so krank.... weiter so! :D

  • @nosleep1271
    @nosleep1271 6 років тому +3

    LMAOOOOO. This is wall to wall hilarity. 10/10 on the review sir.

  • @m3ng252
    @m3ng252 5 років тому +2

    Dat intro might just be the greatest thing I’ve seen this year....

  • @ASTIGINGTUBE
    @ASTIGINGTUBE 6 років тому +15

    I HAVE SEEN THIS, I HAVE DONE THIS, YOU DONT WANT THIS
    -ZOHAN XD

  • @JezzmanGAMES
    @JezzmanGAMES 4 роки тому +1

    I just keep coming back to this video to watch the first 40 secs, because it's just such a perfect summary. Hat's off to you, mr. Pepperoni!

  • @KTPsama
    @KTPsama 6 років тому +3

    Great content for small Channel. Man this gonna be good!

  • @Tommoslasguitaros
    @Tommoslasguitaros 6 років тому +2

    Oooh damn that fast Scott Pilgrim vs the World reference, soooooo goood! Ranton you are quickly becoming my favourite german (second to Mutti Merkel ofcourse) Greetings from Holland

  • @gacylikesbrutal
    @gacylikesbrutal 6 років тому +10

    wooww , criminally under viewed. i love asians esp when they talk about race comically... the only race besides BLAX that can. good work. and i love the tiny FRANKU/JOJI reference.

  • @awesomewinter3103
    @awesomewinter3103 6 років тому +1

    I wasn't waiting for the review as much as for the video itself. The wait was worth it :D

  • @dustindavidson9139
    @dustindavidson9139 6 років тому +17

    Dude. You are effin' hilarious! 😂

  • @LordLOC
    @LordLOC 6 років тому +3

    Dude, you gained like 3k subs in like 2 weeks or so. I saw one of your videos in 2016 right when you started I think, but I only found you again about 2 months ago. I've been watching all your videos (sorry). Super glad you are getting more traction now on UA-cam. Your funny as fuck and you review a game like, you know, a gamer would? Keep it up MANG, sooner or later you'll be on the Co-Optional Podcast with TB and crew! :D

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому

      hellll yeaaaaaaaa! Thank you very much for the support. My videos rly changed over the course of the past year huh? :)

  • @redcoat491
    @redcoat491 3 роки тому +1

    The subtle Zohan reference was hilarious.

  • @handicui960
    @handicui960 6 років тому

    The only channel out here with mosty positive reviewe. Don't ever change MANG

  • @kappinr-m80s23
    @kappinr-m80s23 4 роки тому +1

    You couldn't have made a more accurate analogy at the start there 🤣🤣

  • @Braxnond
    @Braxnond 5 років тому

    been lost in your rabbit hole of a channel for the past 12 hours because of a jacksfilms video that came up in my recommended. i'm not subscribed to him but i'm subscribed to you. thanks for the amazing content and keep up the hard work, you're a great entertainer and an awe-inspiring editor.

  • @matthewb3635
    @matthewb3635 6 років тому +6

    I knew this was going to be savage review but this is rips MGS a new one

  • @BlackApproach
    @BlackApproach 4 роки тому +1

    I didnt know Konami threw used condom at Hideo, those monsters !

  • @thespookysloth5468
    @thespookysloth5468 6 років тому +1

    This was beautiful, thank you for making my day, my sides honestly hurt after watching this keep up the good videos.

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому

      Thank you for enjoying my videos :)

  • @zambaplays5060
    @zambaplays5060 5 років тому +1

    Follow the damn train cj
    Cj: 0:04

  • @potatoconnoisseur697
    @potatoconnoisseur697 5 років тому +2

    The intro had me giggling hysterically mostly at the sfx at 0:47, btw what is that sfx called

    • @Ratih1945
      @Ratih1945 5 років тому +1

      It's actually a piece from MGSV song "Sins of the Father", pretty good one

    • @potatoconnoisseur697
      @potatoconnoisseur697 5 років тому

      Thanks

  • @DaviD2471100
    @DaviD2471100 6 років тому

    I am glad I found you homie. I am now a proud sub and hopefully a patreon supporter soon!! keep up the awesome work

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому

      welcome to the channel ma man 👌

  • @Fearless665
    @Fearless665 5 років тому +1

    I'm glad you actually gave the game some shoutout becuase there is merit to it!
    I mean, imagine the would have released Metal gear Acid at the peak of Heartstone, MTG and whatever other cardgame ... boy would that have been a dirreah storm.
    I too think that there is a lot of good burried beneath a uninspired game becuase hell, give me absolutely ANY game that is on the fox engine and I'll love it becuase this shit is fucking lit. Even boring gathering becomes nice because everything moves and feels so tight. Also respect that you actually got to finish the game becuase so many reviews stop at something like 3 hours becuase "IT'S NOT FUN TO STARVE THE WHOLE TIME" ... that's sorta what happens in any survival game.
    Something I want to add as someone who spent 300+ hours into it: There is actually plenty of weapon varrity, especially when you have to get into the elemental damage types, the Bows play incredibly neat, the Meele weapon types actually become super significant in late-game, specializations are highly required and noticable at difficult stages, Hard and Extrem difficulty digs require a lot of planing and execution that makes each of them really rewarding even after several wins, There is actually a hell lot of crafting and building in that game ? legendary items and the requirements to make those need a lot of thought to make. I wish it wouldn't have been released into this devestation story-line of Konami sucking ass like it does.
    I mean, isn't it common that MMOs and PvE games really pick up at the later stage ? I fucking hated Warframe at the beginning but this game turned out fucking Huge!
    Either way, I agree with many things of what you said, especially the "time travel chris" thing was really fancy but that lasted only for like 5 minutes.
    6.7 / 10, thanks Blizzard.

  • @mozartiney
    @mozartiney 6 років тому

    Brah, so much good stuff in the last few month, i love it. It's good to see that your channel is growing - you deserve it.
    P.s. And those intros- daaaamn they're good.

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому

      Thanks bro. I'm working my freaking ass off here xD

  • @static759
    @static759 5 років тому +1

    7:50 have i ever told you the defintion of insanity

  • @robtavius
    @robtavius 4 роки тому +6

    "there was a fence. And I couldn't find a Mexican."
    I laughed out loud at that joke.

  • @diydunder3377
    @diydunder3377 4 роки тому

    5:15 "There's a fence"
    As someone who lives in America, who has been outside their house in the last 10 years....
    I can say this is poquito ofensiva. We have a fence, but it's still easy as fuck to get in and out.

  • @klauskleber2459
    @klauskleber2459 6 років тому +5

    1.: bestes Intro ever. Was hast du genommen?
    2.: Was haben die Entwickler sich bei dem Spiel gedacht? Niemand hat nach so einem Scheiß verlangt
    3.: Die Review war göttlich! Schön, dass dein Kanal endlich mehr Aufmerksamkeit bekommt

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +2

      1. Ich hab zu viel russischen hard bass gehört
      2. Nichts, das ist das problem xD
      3. Vielen dank Klaus, du bist der Beste!!!

  • @SicHeadshotzGaming
    @SicHeadshotzGaming 6 років тому +4

    Your the man. Another great vid. You have earned the bell.

  • @Wadeerrzz
    @Wadeerrzz 6 років тому

    Your videos are really awesome dude, so funny, creative and enthusiastic. I hope your channels grows super fast because you really deserve it.

  • @dooty2010
    @dooty2010 6 років тому

    Your intros keep getting better and better. Keep up the great work!

  • @pjc7729
    @pjc7729 6 років тому

    Haven't even watched it and gave it a like. Keep up the good work Raston! We love you!

  • @MrRoisu
    @MrRoisu 5 років тому +1

    I've seen this
    I've done this
    You don't want this
    Didn't expect a Zohan reference, Rantoni
    Sehr geil

  • @uum6
    @uum6 4 роки тому +2

    Can you imagine a collab between Ranton and Filthy Frank? The entire internet would break, before being reborn as a fiending phoenix from the asses.

  • @Coros_Midnight
    @Coros_Midnight 6 років тому

    My friend just showed me your channel. Dude hilarious. Very enjoyable

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +1

      nice 👍 thanks man! glad you’re enjoying the content

  • @talhagrewal1609
    @talhagrewal1609 6 років тому +9

    I love your videos man

  • @TheTokki_686
    @TheTokki_686 6 років тому

    Hey ranton I been subscribed to you since you had like 300 or so subs. Look at you now! I hope you keep getting more you always make great reviews

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +2

      yeah, I was stuck at 300 subs for a looooooong time and the videos were..... dog kaka xD glad u sticked to the channel!

  • @kappeler5051
    @kappeler5051 5 років тому

    Fucking hell i wasnt ready for that intro !!
    Love it ! XD

  • @saturntheking9441
    @saturntheking9441 6 років тому

    Its just art , ur so great.
    30 min and almost 500 views
    Dudeeee told u get ready for the an insane growth .u deserve it

  • @lazarus1603
    @lazarus1603 6 років тому

    Man,Ranton I just started watching you recently and I wish I found you sooner. I've been watching your videos a lot because the reviews are comprehensive and the jokes are stupid which is VERI NICE 👌

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому

      hehe, glad u enjoy them :)

  • @viceanterra3
    @viceanterra3 6 років тому +2

    "Were two atom bombs not enough"
    😂😂😂😂☠️

  • @gregoryfox725
    @gregoryfox725 5 років тому

    That hardbass intro is brilliant!:) you know thing about gopniks, man)

  • @LAZER_US
    @LAZER_US 6 років тому +4

    I don't ever play video games but your videos are still amazing to me!

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +2

      thanks man. your's r pretty good too ;)

    • @LAZER_US
      @LAZER_US 6 років тому +1

      Thank Youuu! \(*0*)/

  • @Andy_Sgouros
    @Andy_Sgouros 6 років тому +6

    AMAZING INTRO 😀

  • @cookie6996
    @cookie6996 5 років тому +3

    *WERE TWO ATOM BOMBS NOT ENOUGH?!*

  • @lancetheguybeingadude7432
    @lancetheguybeingadude7432 5 років тому +1

    That Intro is a masterpiece.

  • @Quickk
    @Quickk 4 роки тому +2

    damn the ending really made me wish i was a game reviewer

  • @roseward4315
    @roseward4315 6 років тому +1

    The intro is a masterpiece

  • @luke8853
    @luke8853 6 років тому +3

    Goddamn, that dialogue screen awakened ADHD in me.

  • @yasaraygar4646
    @yasaraygar4646 6 років тому +5

    dude you're like filthy frank of games. Keep up the good work ;)

  • @Jyeoi
    @Jyeoi 5 років тому +1

    I have never hit back 10secs so many times except while watching yr vids because i need to catch that joke or just hear it again lol!

  • @R-SXX
    @R-SXX 5 років тому +4

    I am italian...
    I WILL CHOKE YOU WITH A SPAGHETT!

  • @nilsmayer1144
    @nilsmayer1144 6 років тому +6

    Du machst echt nice reviews😉
    Das Spiel ist echt eine Frechheit 😂
    RIP METAL GEAR

  • @RAZPUT1N829
    @RAZPUT1N829 3 роки тому +1

    It's 2021 and this intro is aging very well 😂

  • @123darkelf
    @123darkelf 6 років тому +1

    This is honestly my favorite review of Survive, I played it and put...wow over 80 hours into it, and this addresses some of its issues, the only criticisms I have are that you mentioned only having a couple weapons, well, you kinda need to explore the map and find chests you never found before which will contain blueprints for better gear and ammo types. I mention this cause you do get a better spear for the end of the game called an armor piercing spear, but I guess you kinda missed that blueprint? Also, there are three enemy types that you didn't mention, that being the armored wanders...which are barely a new enemie, then there's shit like the mortar which will bombard you and shoot you with gatling arms or shotgun blaaaasts, then there's the tracker's...basically more fast and nimble wanders that can jump really high and are hilarious to see crash into an electric fence. Aside from that, better review than most of the crap I've seen for this game.

  • @trazzzzz
    @trazzzzz 5 років тому

    Bro, your reviews are really good and super funny.

  • @aussieman4791
    @aussieman4791 5 років тому +5

    "Yes, that's a black child, in a wheelchair, working on a potato field. But there's a fence! So I couldn't find a Mexican."
    Modern problems require modern solutions

  • @louis7820
    @louis7820 6 років тому

    Hilarious as always 😁
    12k subs now, my boys killing it out here!!!!!!

  • @thekarooterkarooted6612
    @thekarooterkarooted6612 5 років тому

    I love your references man XD they're awesome!

  • @AlaniLTD
    @AlaniLTD 6 років тому

    I paused the video after 5 minutes of hysterical laughter and gained consciousness just to mention this. My best laugh of 2018 if not ever.

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +1

      haha, well that makes me very proud :3

  • @michaeljansev.rensburg6431
    @michaeljansev.rensburg6431 6 років тому

    your channel is growing really goddamn fast these days MANG!

  • @Gharon
    @Gharon 6 років тому +7

    And here i was wondering if there were any other enemies besides those basic zombie unicorns because that's all i've ever seen in videos... holy fuck this game is even worse than i thought.

  • @bunbunplays
    @bunbunplays 6 років тому

    Love your videos man only subbed like a week ago but they are all funny af

  • @Cybexx15
    @Cybexx15 6 років тому

    Dein channel ist der Hammer! Mach weiter so :D

  • @TheHaloGamer
    @TheHaloGamer 6 років тому +13

    Why'd you write Metal Gear Survive on the grave, instead of Metal Gear Solid?

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +12

      It should have read "metal gear franchise", but I noticed that mistake too late xD

  • @jinodaniel6726
    @jinodaniel6726 6 років тому +4

    "there's a fence so i couldn't find a mexican" DED**

    • @grahamkelly8662
      @grahamkelly8662 6 років тому +1

      Ranton for president of USA. He would actually make America great again. Not sure it was ever great to begin with but still. I think I love ranton more then my family. Why? He's the guy and my family suck.

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +1

      wtf... xD

  • @settingsun8403
    @settingsun8403 6 років тому +4

    Why are we still here... just to suffer

  • @zepster5400
    @zepster5400 6 років тому

    Ranton, ur videos are always really funny. 😂 Your videos just light me up. Keep it up! 👍

  • @zombathon3370
    @zombathon3370 6 років тому

    Would it be wrong for me to say you are a god of videogame reviews lol I laughed so much keep up the great work.

  • @Vergil_SonOfSparda.
    @Vergil_SonOfSparda. 4 роки тому +2

    5:19 I'm Mexican, and I approve it.

  • @Andybest21fan
    @Andybest21fan 6 років тому +33

    Another fantastic racist / homophobic / sexist review ...
    Well done mein Fuhrer 🙏🙌

  • @naiamann9687
    @naiamann9687 5 років тому +1

    man i would've liked your videos a hundred times if you tube allowed it

  • @erik_abermit7282
    @erik_abermit7282 6 років тому

    5:15 meine Fresse digga , deine Witze werden immer besser😂👌 Weiter so

  • @SenchaiD
    @SenchaiD 4 роки тому +2

    My friends will never get my kind of humor

  • @damianlegion8455
    @damianlegion8455 2 роки тому

    Your art is so weird!
    I love it! 🥰
    5:09 Worst... Comment... Ever.
    If I didn't knew I would be offended. 😏

  • @camakazeeee
    @camakazeeee 5 років тому

    Hey ranton, nice Scott pilgrim reference Asia man

  • @GioMuyFrio_
    @GioMuyFrio_ 6 років тому

    Hahaha love your energy man! Never change!

  • @Allodder
    @Allodder 6 років тому +1

    Do you prefer english or german comments?
    Anyway, you said you didnt like the open world and the dust. I think covering the majority of the map in dust is a very brave decision and something not many games have done before.
    Having sight, map and marker taken away leads to challenging navigation and allows for tense situations where the player gets lost, full with loot, low on oxygen and sorrounded by enemies, trying to make his way back to safety. I really enjoyed preparing for every trip out into new territory, each time fearing that i will walk past the mission objective without even realizing.
    I also heard that theres a class system, special gear and boss enemies after the story is over, but i havnt gotten there yet.
    Id be happy to play some coop with you if youre up for it :)

  • @nikolababic4783
    @nikolababic4783 6 років тому

    0:17 Hardbass goes oriental.

  • @zenodio3D
    @zenodio3D 6 років тому

    The first video I watched if you was the Shaolin temple, story.
    I was expecting this channel to be some kinda vlog or travel channel.
    Oh boy was I in for a ride when watching your other videos.
    You've now become one of my favourite UA-cam channels.
    Keep that shit up booiiii!

    • @RealRanton
      @RealRanton  6 років тому +1

      thank you. I appreciate that :)

  • @tommyhawk4621
    @tommyhawk4621 5 років тому

    I loved this just for the Scott Pilgrim vs the world reference