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Ash Beckham: We're all hiding something. Let's find the courage to open up
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
- In this touching talk, Ash Beckham offers a fresh approach to empathy and openness. It starts with understanding that everyone, at some point in their life, has experienced hardship. The only way out, says Beckham, is to open the door and step out of your closet.
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I first saw this talk (and proceeded to watch it many, many times) over a year and a half ago. At that point my "closet" was my depression and self harm. Then not even a year later my closet was by bisexuality and girlfriend (I am also a girl). Ash Beckham truly is an inspiration
I couldn't love this message or Ash Beckman any more than I do. This video I watched first in 2015. It changed my life. All of my life. I used the hard=hard example in my trainings, my coaching, my parenting, and my own walk through life. It has stood with me all these years. Today I will share this video with a small group of women trying to hid their struggles because they feel not good enough. I trust it will help them the same way it helped me. I LOVE ASH BECKMAN!
This women walks the walk and talks the talk. Not only does she know her shit...she is the shit. Great talk.
I still can't believe I met her. She's an amazing person.
ppl like these make me proud
I really love this channel. I found it it a few months ago, but recently my Sociology professor assigned us to watch a video about homelessness, and I fell in love all other again. Ash Beckham is awesome. I've watched all of her speeches on this channel.
I've seen this twice now, made me cry twice.
what an awesome thought. "Be Unapologetic when you tell who you are " .
I don't care what you say, I'm not telling anyone about the body
I've loved this for 10 years. Thank you.
thank you for this reminder: "There is no harder. There is just hard."
Ash Beckham, you totally nailed it. This talk is amazing. :')
This is a great video! I can relate to this so much because I believe in being authentic. I'm not gay, but I try to share with people on my UA-cam channel to be authentic. It was hard for me to open up about my feeling and talk about how I struggle with depression. However, once I did that my viewers really appreciated the honesty.
This was a seriously refreshing Ted Talks. Simple but invariably relatable.
I can't even tell you how many times I have listened to this talk. I try to apply it to all my interactions especially with the public. I often see someone being rude or argumentative and think to myself, I could either berate them for being rude, or understand maybe they are having a hard time. Maybe someone they love is sick, or they lost their job or bank account got hacked... Find out the story before you judge.
Best speech I've heard in a long time!
She's great. I hope I can have that kind of strength one day soon.
Super AWESOME!
there's no harder. hard is hard. thanks for the inspirational talk.
powerful. a must see.
This is a talk about personal hurdles. The faith, sacrifice and pain needed to be experienced to over come them. Its not about gender or lgbt issues its about the similarities of each persons problems in denile of where or what lays ahead. Its a talk about how were all feeling hardship none worse nor easer then each others particular situation just hardship..
dude. your the best,,man !. bless u and ur partner.
the hard conversation that i can say is my closet is the one in which i tell my friends that my father died
This is amazing.
you dont have to be gay to NOT hate the LBT community...
Great talk by such an eloquent speaker!
Loved her talk !
Great talk. Not very much about gay issues, just how hard it is to face something and not to compare "your hard" to "someones hard".
Also want to point out a guy behind stage having a drink around 7:00 =)
I watched this months ago, and to me, it includes all hard conversations. Blacks talking about their experiences to whites, vice versa. It can be applied to any situation where the people get emotional and defensive when really they should just step forward, and have that hard conversation. To me, she's talking about how we need to open up to each other, so that there are no walls. She talked maturely and kindly to the young child, and the child responded the same in return. This is primarily why I don't believe the whole 'I don't need to educate you about my culture or hardships' spiel, because it's just another excuse to keep the barrier up. If a white person genuinely asked a black person, or if a straight person asked a gay person, for honest information, a true peek into what can sometimes seem like a completely different world, tell them the truth maturely kindly and don't get defensive if they don't understand right away. It's not always easy dispersing ignorance; that's why it's called a hard conversation.
It reminds me also of the question: "Where do you come from?"
Many utter the question in a very cumbersome way and the other person is ready to justify his right to live in the country...
In most cases it could be a direct question and a direct answer. Some questions should not be taken personally and answerd objectivly.
That was very inspiring and so well said!
I'm seeing both positive and negative comments on here. It would be interesting to duplicate this speech word for word minus the gay/lesbian analogy. Then post it next to this video and see if the reaction would be the same or better. I find it sad that a lot of people are judging this video based on her sexuality versus what she's trying to say. I for one am straight and I'm taking away a great life lesson for this speech. Stop labeling and start listening people!
freakin goosebumps...
Thank you
This was, at one time, one of the top 5 most viewed TED talks on youtube. For some reason, it was deleted and re-uploaded.
So inspiring. I never thought about it this way! ^_^
I feel sorry for you for not knowing why we all have those dark closets. They are there to let us know that this life is not meant to be perfect, and that this life isn't the only life we will ever live. THIS LIFE, where we live then die, IS A TEST FOR THE OTHER LIFE WE WILL LIVE FOREVER.
gotta beck'em all
Bravissima!
My closet is that I'm a fucking boss. It's a very tough coverstaion to let me know how much of a boss I am!
Sensational :)
iv always been asked if im a girl or boy. i feel akward ut i tell them im a girl. im not afraid of who i am and no one should be afraid u r u and u sholdnt care what others see
Does it want to catch them all?
This video has been edited. A section is cut.
Nice
3:30, 4:59
♥
I got to 3:00 thinking she was a gay guy lol!
this looks like zak bagans from ghost adventures
BOOO-RIIING!
We're all sexual in some way or another we all have the capacity to be any kind of sexuality are brain chooses and are chemical response to that other person. Love is love and if you find it you're lucky. If other who have not found it tend to be envious and may hate your lifestyle. If you're not hurting anyone just love the person or persons that make you happy. Because only you can feel your feelings no one else can.
I came to this video because his name looked like Ash Ketcham
I'm not sure how I feel about this...
The intent is good and all, but all of it is said shadowed by such horribleness of the personality behind of thinking they need to do all this ideological spewing to a child. That's the response they have to this... and then the same disgusting personality rears up again when she mentions that it was even an option to her to go back and make fun of these people trying to support her.
That's fucked up.
Ivo Teixeira I agree with what he's saying to an extent. It's great to say be open and honest. The fact is people don't want that. They want you to be like they want you you to be rather than what you really are. They want fantasy with regards to many issues, and giving them contradiction and reality is not something they like, and while it is a matter of principle that I try to be absolutely honest and right on things, it is not because it makes me feel good or has this happiness or release associated with it. I've found quite the opposite, especially coming from those who preach this crap (feminists and theists) who try to make you feel bad for doing such. Just realize that she was about to bludgeon a child over the head with fem lit crap for being openly curious and honest about it. That should open your eyes to the reality of the situation, but i doubt it.
Complete double meaning for me but uhm, ehem, I quote "… a closet is no place for a person to live" end quote.
So no, you will not put me in the closet.
I wouldn't be surprised that when she was in those heels and strapless dress that she was pretty hot. I like people who've been through stuff....and their still good.
TLDR, we are all hard ;)
I may be looking at this wrong but did she just say she got offended over something someone below the age of 10 would say? They're kids. They aren't aware of everything that is and isn't okay to say yet. I'm sure when they grow up to realize that what they said was rude they'd feel insanely guilty about it because of how much offense she took from it. Honestly, I thought she was a boy up until she said she was a girl. But I'm old enough to realize to hold my tongue in a conversation with someone you aren't aware the gender of. I feel like she's trying to make people who can't tell she's a girl feel like a horrible person for not knowing.
I know that's beside the point of the speech though. Sorry for my unfavorable opinion.
She was saying the complete opposite. Ash was noting that she was insecure about her gender-diverse appearance, and she knew that her reaction to be offended by a little girl's innocent question was completely wrong. She turned it around and decided to be authentic and understanding, rather than angry and offended. The little girl wasn't being rude. She was curious. Ash acknowledges that curiosity and embraced it, realizing that the little girl wasn't a threat and deserved care and simplicity for a response.
Stephanie Hoos
I suppose I didn't look at it deeply enough then.
dont be sorry why in the hell should you conform to a such an immoral norm political correctness is just a way to limit free speach
Silas Emile
HOLD IT!!!
What did it taste like?
Silas Emile
did you swallow his holy roll
Impractical idea if explored correctly #skipped
i am so sorry but you maybe want some happiness in your life then try to believe in the one god and in your self ;believe that your can find the striaght path . may Allah keep u happy and safe
haha dumb lol
NO! I am not going to watch something which encourages us being OK with an NSA regime, no MATTER how indirect, no MATTER how unintended, but most especially, to make sure I am not a FOOL if this is a mere small portion of their intended psychological assault.
3
Loses me with the example at the start.
I'm sorry but I cannot listen to more of this BS...some time ago I told a good friend of mine what I felt about her and we haven't spoken since. Since high-school to my adulthood I have follow this 'creed' this woman (and everyone) talks about... to "open up" and over the years I have only lost and lost. It's very easy to tell other to do it until you are the one who has to listen and have your world turned upside down. No one wants to be on the receiving end of that (or any such hard) conversation... now, I just follow the "status quo".
But you got your answer even though it wasn't the one you wanted to hear. I'm sorry for what happened in your situation but I think it was good for you to get closure and not think about what if's maybe for the rest of your life. It will always look bad on the retrospect but I'm sure it wasn't easy for you not telling her either.
Believe it or not, people do want to be on the receiving end of these conversations. Being honest to someone and opening up to them shows your respect for them. People bond over sharing things, emotions and experiences with each other. That is what friendship is ultimately about. People want their closeted friends to come out to them so that they can tell them that it is okay and make the person feel better about themselves and live an open and full life. Ultimately we want happiness for each other. Confessing your love to somebody has led to wonderful love stories throughout the history of mankind. It's not all as hopeless as you may feel right now! Take care.
Hi die movie2013
How can you get mad at someone for asking you if you are a boy or girl when you ARE a girl that looks like a boy.....
Girl it would probably get rly annoying if u were asked that all the time, plus why does it matter it’s non of their business 😭 like it’s an unnecessary question to ask especially if your an adult a kid is understandable but an adult?? Cmon.
unfortunately we don't all have the option of "coming out of the closet". no doubt if i did that, in this youtube comment no less, bad things would follow. i am not a bad person, but there are some things that the general population just aren't equipped to understand.
we have the option to come out, we just don't have control over the consequences
João Batista and sometimes those consequences are dire. not exactly an option if i want to have a pleasant future lol.
chaosscizzors such as?
Nashy119 I don't think that being a sociopath is a "closet", because i don't think you'd give enough of a shit to make a closet out of it if you were one. Saying that though, I find it best to leave my secrets with at least one person I can trust. It's extremely refreshing. That way, you avoid large scale consequences, unless you are an idiot and tell it to someone who has no control over their mouth.
Well, public opinion doesn't change by waiting for it to change. In essence, you're waiting for others to take the heat by going public themselves and then when everything is save, you "come out of your closet". How about making that change happen yourself?
i can't relate to this woman at all
So.... Boy or girl?
no, seriously though... Lesbians consider them selves men or women... I'm so confused by this phenomena
This is a common misconception. When a woman considers it self to be a men (or vice versa), she's not a homossexual but a transexual. It's different.
It varies, could be either.
But when a woman starts trying to look like a man, but does not use testosterone nor surgery, what is it?
Laimis Dirmeikis Tomboyishness? Maybe it depends why they dress the way they do. They might be trying to look like a man, or they might just hate the way women are expected to appear.
Laimis Dirmeikis Then it's a case of a woman wearing what she likes, not what others say a woman should wear.
Did he change into his gay voice before or after the closet?
Did you even listen to her?
It's a woman. I assume that's just how she always spoke.
ok message, horrible speaker
No thanks.
WTF is going on in this world !!??