When my dad was still alive, he called me and asked if I wanted to meet him for golf. That was unusual since he always played with his buddies. So we went and, as usual, he was winning. On the 16th hole, he was lining up for his drive. Stopped, looked at me, and said, "If i had known how much Vietnam was going to change you, I would have sent you to Canada." You could have knocked me over with a feather. Two of my three older brothers had been in the military but not Vietnam. He was right. It had changed me a lot. Me today at 75 thinks that even if he had offered, I would not have accepted. I miss him and Mom. All my brothers are gone. Maybe I wouldn't have lived in a bottle for 10 years. Maybe I could have fathered more children. But this is the life I chose. I appreciated him saying that. But I am pretty sure I would not have accepted. You can't live your life on "Would of, could of, should of." You make your choices and live as best you can with the results.
Thank you for your service. My dad watched out for the Vietnam Vet in the basement of the duplex where I lived as a child (It was about 1975 I guess, had an older dad). He was a WWII Vet. Tony downstairs was like what? 22-23? One year he took his army shovel and dug out a snow fort for us kids. I was like 7 maybe when this all happened. Lost touch with him not long after. Always hoped life went better for him. Dad never spoke of WWII really. But he would be there for Tony. That made a very strong impression on me.
My Dad was a construction worker - WWII and Depression generation. My older brother graduated high school in 1972 and Dad told him that if the draft was still going on when he did and he was called up and he'd send him to Canada (we had family friends in BC). I was surprised but as a 11 year old kid I was relieved my brother would haven't to go - I was only 11, but I knew that was a horrible war.
My dad took his own life, he was active duty and we know now it was undiagnosed PTSD, when I was 22 this song hits so hard even now 42 years after his death.
This song came out 6 months before my dad died. I was 16. The morning he left for his operation ( that he didn't wake up from) I got up early to spend time with him before he left and told him I loved him. I credit this song ( the lyrics in the back of my mind) for not missing that opportunity
I'm one of the ones who asked for this song. I've always thought it was so good with a message BUT being that I had a good relationship with my mom & dad, it hit me entirely when Don was talking about his life. It almost got to the point that I was sad as I brought up this song without ever thinking about those who were not as fortunate as me. The choirs were fantastic as the kids sang, then we moved on to the older generation. Thanks guys.
I did too, especially close to my father since I was a toddler. He was the centre of my world until my son was born when I was 30. He died in December 2022 aged 87 and I sobbed like a little girl. Hard to realise that not all have good parents.
At the age of sixty three…I have lost both of my parents now. They both had a lot of good in them. They both made their fair share of mistakes as parents as well. I now realize that instead of being only my “mom and dad” … they were also just a young man and woman trying to figure life out. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. If we all try to correct even some of the mistakes with our own children that were made with us, we are improving the next generation within our family tree.
Amen! I'm 60 and both of my parents are gone and my only brother. There are soooo many things I would love to tell all 3 of them and discuss with them. Alas, life goes on!
I have always had a good relationship with my parents until a few years ago. My dad has been gone for 26 years…but since dad passed my mother has become very difficult. My husband and I tried to have mom come live with us. I tried for 4 years. We had been away from my parents geographically for 30 years…so we moved back home to take care of her. Left our sons and grandchildren behind to do this. All we got was grief. We could go anywhere or do anything without grief. I feel bad for her…she’s very unhappy person since dad passed and never got over it. I still see about her needs…thanks to Amazon…but we’re back with our sons and grandchildren. I’m still torn in my heart. But there was no pleasing her. I am dealing with a husband with dementia also…so the stress was too much.
I'm kinda in the same boat as Don. Only it was my mother. I never heard an I love you until a couple weeks before she died. We were estranged for years but when she was diagnosed with her cancer, I stepped in to care for her. I made my bed in the floor next to her bed, because she only slept an hour or 2 at a time. She was terrified of sleeping, because they gave her 30 days to live, over the damn telephone! We had conversations that I wanted for years! 💔
Thought you already reacted to this??? Oh, I see, follow up. Good discussion. Mike btw, as many of us stated last time, is MIKE RUTHERFORD, a founding member, songwriter and the lifetime bass guitarist and lead guitarist (starting in 78) of the Progressive Rock band GENESIS since 1967. Over 50 years. He formed this band as a "side gig" in the mid 80s along with PAUL CARRACK (the lead singer). Follow up>>check out also from M+ M BEGGAR ON A BEACH OF GOLD SILENT RUNNING (CAN YOU HEAR Me)
I played your original reaction a few days ago to my mom. She loves your channel and the old school videos you play. 2 days after us setting there in her room she finally passed away. Just know thank you for giving her and I entertainment in her last days here on earth! I do have one request. ZZ Top- Gotsta get paid,,, we're from Texas and love this band
Thank you both for your openness and honesty. As a retired drug and alcohol therapist; talking through it all is the beginning of healing. Don, please continue your healing journey 🩷
Don you are the man your dad wished he was. His background as a child probably has everything to do with who he is. I don't know you, but you seem to have grown into a very loving, responsible adult. Keep learning and loving.
I gotta tell both of you, I am so proud of both of you for dealing with life head on. It's a rocky journey, but take it from an old woman, it is worth it. God bless.
I've known this song for so long and always knew what it was about. Legit hated my father and we stayed apart for decades. BUT this song would come around and remind me that things had to be, or should be resolved one way or another but pride, ego, anger, resentment, right?. Fast forward to today and we are good friends. We BOTH had to learn, to grow, and let go of alot of things. Thanks for sharing. Thanks especially to Don for sharing part of his story.
Took me a long time before I could listen to that beautiful song. I watched my daddy take his last breath. I hope and pray he heard everything I told him before he passed.
Mike is Mike Rutherford, (the guitarist), also of Genesis fame, Paul Carrack, (the singer), is a solo artist as well as playing in other bands, ACE, Squeeze, he has also written for the Eagles, (Love Will Keep Us Alive), Paul Young, (keyboards on the right of Carrack), was in Sad Cafe, sadly Young passed away in 2000, the song was written by Rutherford and B.A.Robertson, about Rutherford's relationship with his Father, so many more great songs Silent Running Beggar On A Beach Of Gold Nobody's Perfect Over My Shoulder Another Cup Of Coffee
This is such a sad song. It holds deep meaning for me. I was not there the day my father passed away. I miss him so very much. He was an awesome father. Love your reactions!
Makes me tear up everytime I hear this. Never got to say alot to my Dad in my adult years as I was away in the Military. When he passed I didnt even get to say goodbye.
I'm so lucky that at 62, my parents are still living and, that my dad...over all the years and fuck ups I've made has always been encouraging and loving.
The Living Years is an amazingly powerful and emotional song ❤. It has effected so many people around the world and inspired others through their grief and sorrow. Loss is extremely hard to talk about but great music helps us to get through these really horrible and difficult times together. Peter Gabriel's I Grieve, Lighthouse Family's Lost in Space /High and Mary Blacks Without the Fanfare live (I have seen her perform it so special) touch the soul and make me cry buckets of tears too 🧡🎶😢
I never knew either of my parents. My father died from an OD when I was 14 months old, my mother signed custody of me over to his mother and went on with her life. There are a LOT of songs from this era that really hit me hard because of that. Obviously this is one of them, but also "House of Pain", "The Garden", "Yesterdays", "Blurry", "My Medicine", "Animal I Have Become", "The Price", and others. Some of them, the music video (like this one) drive it home even more because of the visual imagery. But that's one reason I love music videos.
You guys speaking from your hearts is going to help at least one person watching. I have similar stories to you both. Military Dad who whooped my ass as a kid for just stupid shit. Like walking in 5 minutes past curfew etc. Yes the switch from my grandmother on my Dads side, which I believe that’s why I got the belt 😢. I’m 54 a still carry it with me today. My Dad turns 81 this month. Very moving song, powerful to the heart and emotions. Ty BP and Don for talking!! 👊🏻🇺🇸
I understand where you're coming from about the relationship with your dad. I didn't really like mine at all. My dad taught me to be the parent I didn't have in him. For that I'm grateful. I would go through any hardship it would have taken for it to show me what kind of a parent I wanted and didn't want to be. God bless you all.
Notice 2 choirs. One young and the other is older. It is the blending of generations. There is so much symbolism in the video. I wish you can get through your anger. Talk through it. I’m one of the lucky ones. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you to get to a better place.
I'm pretty sure there's a reason your introduced Don to this amazing Tune n seeing him smile watching through the end was heart warming & maybe something clicked in him with his father at that moment.. Knowing now about his father passing I really hope this helped him before that happening & believe me this song hits me for these same reasoning & I get it totally, whatcing both of your reactions & hindsight definitely think you were being the mate he was needing at this point & truely awesome to see this between you both ❤
When I heard it in 89 my dad was still alive and I knew this would be a tear-jerker in a future when he would be gone...he passed away in 97 and this was one of the two songs that i knew i wouldn't be abe to listen to anymore because it would make me cry like a child again ( The other one is Father Mother Son by The Scream)....Hearing it through your reaction 27 yrs later and it's causing on me the effect i thought it would ....THANK YOU DAD, YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BEST.
The thing with the music from the 80’s and early 90’s, it was very raw and honest. A lot of songs about emotions and tragedy like this song and Everybody Hurts by REM and so many more. That’s what makes these song still relevant 40 + years later. When you are prepared for another emotional and hard song to listen to, check out Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. It’s about the sadness and guilt he had over the accidental death of his 3 year old son. The details are tough to read. ( use a live version instead of the video that has scenes from a movie ie it was used in. )
Great conversation! We all carry some kind of baggage or burden from our childhood. Those are our formative years. Every expierence (good or bad) is enhanced and can have lasting effects, often times subconciously. We owe it to ourselves and our children to try and lighten that burden (be it strained relationships or some lingering "bitternes"). Communication is still the best way to helpu us heal, even if it's hard to be the one to reach out first.
"You may have a new perspective on a different day" - willingness to communicate effectively (talk real and really listen). I suspect a lot of relationship problems, regardless of the type of relationship, is that so many people want to convince others that their perspective and/or preference is correct when what actually creates stronger bonds is feeling understood.
I remember a time my husband broke down in tears when his Dad heard him sing a solo in our church Christmas program and afterward told him he was proud of him…he told me that was the first time his Dad had ever said that or given him any positive affirmation…my husband was in his 40’s! They ended up with a decent relationship before his Dad passed but it could have been so much more….our kids need to hear that it’s okay not being perfect and that when they do mess up we still love them. Just communicate with each other! This song brings tears every time! My Dad wasn’t a touchy-feely affectionate guy but I never doubted his love for me and when he did communicate it was always something I needed to hear, like it or not. I miss him every day! Love your kids, love your people….life is short.
This song triggers for sure. Lost my dad November 29, 2019 and my oldest brother Diego, November 24, 2022. I freaking hate Thanksgiving now. But, i did get to tell them both how much i loved them while still alive. My dad and i had very differing world views and suffered a few decades of emotional distance but we healed. I accepted that he was different from me but we loved one another. Diego was a beautiful soul who taught me to play guitar and all about music. He suffered drug addiction most of his life. He was kind and caring but troubled. I never turned my back on him and i supported him financially the last few years is his life and i caught hell for "enabling" him. No. I loved my oldest brother and didn't want him wandering the streets homeless and hungry, not knowing he was loved. Love is stronger than pride. I would do it all again in a second for just five more minutes with both of them. Being a parent is a humbling experience, isn't it? I love being a dad more than life itself.
The candor between (and from) you and Don made this one of your best reactions in several respects. I have been a much better parent and grandparent than mine were - so I understand and appreciate both of your POVs. Now we are at the point where they are 90 and 87 years old and I have had an incurable (but treatable) cancer for 6 years. There are many things that simply are not going to be resolved in this life time. I have been doing everything I can do - which has cost Blue Cross >$15 mil so far - to ensure that neither of them ever has to attend my funeral. I have had long periods to think about it and feel like this is the best I can do. Bless you both.
Thank You for being so real! You are my Favorite UA-cam channel please keep up the Good Work!!! This song gets too me because I never total my Dad how much I Loved Him! All he ever did was work so we had everything! He loved to Golf I didn't but I Mom would give hell if he wanted to go Golfing unless he took me! I never wanted to go Golfing I was into other things! NOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE WENT GOLFING WITH HIM MORE, BECAUSE HE DID EVERYTHING FOR ME!!!
That has to be one of the most in depth reactions to this song I have ever heard. You made me think about my relationship with my father which I haven't done in such a long time. He is gone now but although he was always there I never ever felt close to home. I felt cared for but not loved. He was a harsh man at times too, very very strict.
Paul Carrack was part of Mike & The Mechanics... and another 80's powerhouse, Squeeze. He also had a notable solo career as well. Some of his gems: Paul Carrack - "Don't Shed a Tear" Squeeze - "Tempted" another Mike & The Mechanics song that is very relevant to what's happening today in the US, is "Silent Running". One of my faves of theirs. It definitely paints a picture.
My favorite line is “you can listen as well as you hear”…most of don’t really listen to what we hear from our loved ones and friends. Take time to listen to what they are saying. Tell them how you feel. I’ve lost my parents and sister. Once they’re gone it’s too late. I make sure I tell my kids and grandkids I love them and how I feel about them. Beautiful song which I have loved since it first came out.
My parents got divorced when I was 4-5 and only saw him every 3 or 4 years ( my mom encouraged for us to see each other). I joined the Canadian military at 20 and he passed away when I was on deployment in 1997. We were never close and we never talked about the real things. The things left unsaid can change our choices. Great reaction you guys.
I loved my dad but he really could be a very difficult man to get along with.... he had very strong opinions and a very sarcastic manner when you were arguing with him. He and I certainly had our go-arounds over the years, that's for sure. He passed away in 1992. This song came out a few years prior but it would still pull up on the local radio stations in 92 and I heard it on the way home from his funeral. I was like, damn universe, did you really need to hit me that hard? Thankfully, I did know my dad loved me and he knew I loved him. Anything other than that just doesn't matter.
Let bitterness go. Its like drinking a poison intended to hurt another & it only harms you. Losing my mother at a young age if it had a positive it would be that it made me make sure I took more time to appreciate the parent I still had left. Treasure those you love and love and appreciate on the daily while you have the opportunity. It takes slowing down to realize and as they say in this song you xan Listen as well as you can hear. BP & Don thank you this song hits and reconfirms for me a lesson I learned all too early in life and I'm better today fir putting it to practice 🧡 every night I lay the day down i too bed anything I may feel would turn to regret ya know.
Don I admire your transparency. Blessings to you and mad respect. Black Pegasus thankyou for all of your reflections throughout this channel. You've grown so much as a father and amazing man. Thankful that you get to use your gifts for greatness.
Wiki: English guitarist, bassist and songwriter, best known as co-founder and lead guitarist/bassist of the rock band Genesis. The song was inspired by Mike Rutherford and B.A. Robertson realizing their fathers had died around the same time, and they later learned singer Paul Carrack's father had died when he was young, as well.[6] Rutherford said:[6] Being of similar age, we both came from an era where our parents had lived through two world wars, when young men wanted to be like their fathers - wear the same clothes, do the same things. But then there was a huge change and our generation wanted to be anything but their fathers. It wasn't our parents' fault, there was just a big social change. Pop music had come along, The Beatles, denim trousers... for the first time, teens had their own culture. That's how our generation couldn't really talk to our parents in the same way. So we had the idea of writing a song about how you never really talk to your father, and you miss out on these things.
guys, I hope you can feel and appreciate the delicate emotional doors you are opening for so many of of your viewers -- and from my perspective that's a very good thing... a bit of a community service disguised as music video reaction... much appreciated
This son was released a few years after my dad passed away and it hit me like a rock. We didn't end things on the best of terms, and I regret it to this day. Thank you for this reaction video and sharing your stories, it means a lot to me, and I'm sure many others.
Don thank-you for opening up. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I don't have a relationship with my father, but that's for so many reasons. I've thought about talking to him but I know my father and I know he wouldn't take the blame and admit things. He'll just put the blame on my mom, which he did when his younger brother asked him about why he's not in our life. ♥ You're not alone. we're all here supporting you.
Dang this song brings back memories. I never really paid attention to what it was about as a kid... but, I definitely remember hearing this song play all the time as a kid.
I sang along with that love it... well done Don it's good to let it out... much respect to you.. Feel for you BP lost my mother 4 days before Xmas 2020 .. still hurt's now. But we learn to cope day by day.
Been here done all that ! You can blame everyone you like for your past , blahhh blahhh blahhh. You can only blame yourself for your future. Enough said , let’s move forward! ❤
Thanks for sharing Don. My son has the same sort of relationship with his father. His father was a drug addict and drug dealer which subsequently led to him being incarcerated. It had a knock on effect. My son had problems with drink and drugs in his teenage years into his early twenties. Thankfully he's come through the other side. ❤
My dad was military, too. He was not overtly affectionate before he retired. I attribute it to him compartmentalizing his emotions. Now, he is very different.
This song has always reminded me of my Dad and my brother. They both did not get along very well. They are both gone and it makes me cry every time I hear it. My brother passed away before my Dad and I remember my Dad being devastated when my brother died. I am sure it is partly because of the regret he felt not being very close to my brother.
Great reaction video guys! This song always gets me because a life of a strained relationship with my Dad which I never got any type of closure or answers before he passed.
BP, you may have found your stand-out moment here! Using music to open up a topic and bridge the gap! Imagine if you and Dom had set out to do this as a reaction/inspiration for a deeper topic podcast! Also, be proud of yourself for recognizing and trying to address when you fall into these pitfalls when raising your kids! We all do it, but recognizing them and addressing them is growth for you and your kids!
Heavy tune -resonates with me also...issues and things unsaid with father B4 passing, etc. Thanks for your reactions and truth -much respect For an upbeat tune -High Hopes by Panic at the disco -Much Love Gents!
We all have different parents but listening to the co-host say he didn't have the type of dad he wanted reminds me of how good my dad was. I also didn't have the type of dad I wanted because he was always against me doing drugs, drinking alcohol, being lazy and eating junk food. He gave me the tough love that I hated in the moment. But I love him even more now for doing what he did. He didn't care if I hated him n the moment as long as he knew his stance in the long run was better for me. My mom was awesome too.
Hi Don,only the 2nd time I've seen you mate! What you're going through is of massive importance-you're breaking the cycle of handing down bitterness/pain/regret-all of those negative emotions.I never really knew my dad.My parents got divorced when I was 7,and he went to live and work in Scotland,the other end of the country.He passed a few years ago,and the cancer took him so quickly I never had the time to say the things I needed to.So this resonates with me too.Stay strong brother,respect from across the pond.
Thanks for this. I still miss my Dad, who died on the 11th of April,1971 the year before I saw the guitarist here called "Mike" Rutherford who formed this Band after leaving his first band: Genesis. BLACK PEGASUS: The other day,you reacted to "Peter Gabriel-Sledgehammer" who was also in this group along with Phil Collins.
This song is to music what the movie Field of Dreams is to film. It’s about fathers and sons. My Mom and I had an interesting relationship and I became her caregiver in those later years. We talked constantly. Like your Dad and the phone, she told me what she wanted. And watching her being verbally and emotionally abused since I can remember, I was gonna give her peace and happiness in her later years. When she passed, I could literally lay my head on my pillow at night knowing she finally has peace I made sure her passing was peaceful. It gave me peace. Get your Dad the phone. He’s not going to acknowledge the mistakes. They never do. It’s your strength that pulled yourself out of that pattern. Tell him your resentment but that it’s okay. Talk to him. That’s what the song is about. I know for a fact that what you do now builds your own peace for your future and your children.
You say you just don’t see it he says it’s perfect sense … You just can’t get agreement in this present tense…WE ALL TALK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE TALKING IN DEFENSE …… This song is iconic and this part above 👆 really hits home….. Because it’s so Dam true…
![[No AU] Banisher [Original Megalovania / Sh1tpost]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Amab_rfUe3w/mqdefault.jpg)
When my dad was still alive, he called me and asked if I wanted to meet him for golf. That was unusual since he always played with his buddies. So we went and, as usual, he was winning. On the 16th hole, he was lining up for his drive. Stopped, looked at me, and said, "If i had known how much Vietnam was going to change you, I would have sent you to Canada." You could have knocked me over with a feather. Two of my three older brothers had been in the military but not Vietnam. He was right. It had changed me a lot. Me today at 75 thinks that even if he had offered, I would not have accepted. I miss him and Mom. All my brothers are gone. Maybe I wouldn't have lived in a bottle for 10 years. Maybe I could have fathered more children. But this is the life I chose. I appreciated him saying that. But I am pretty sure I would not have accepted. You can't live your life on "Would of, could of, should of." You make your choices and live as best you can with the results.
Thank you for your service, Larry.
I'll echo sir. Thank you for your service.
Those years changed a lot of peoples lives😢
Thank you for your service. My dad watched out for the Vietnam Vet in the basement of the duplex where I lived as a child (It was about 1975 I guess, had an older dad). He was a WWII Vet. Tony downstairs was like what? 22-23? One year he took his army shovel and dug out a snow fort for us kids. I was like 7 maybe when this all happened. Lost touch with him not long after. Always hoped life went better for him. Dad never spoke of WWII really. But he would be there for Tony. That made a very strong impression on me.
My Dad was a construction worker - WWII and Depression generation. My older brother graduated high school in 1972 and Dad told him that if the draft was still going on when he did and he was called up and he'd send him to Canada (we had family friends in BC). I was surprised but as a 11 year old kid I was relieved my brother would haven't to go - I was only 11, but I knew that was a horrible war.
This song is sacred. “ I think I heard his spirit in my baby’s new born Tears” That line chokes me up every time.
That line cuts like a knife. Cuts deep and heartfelt.
Cry every single time!
Thank you
My dad took his own life, he was active duty and we know now it was undiagnosed PTSD, when I was 22 this song hits so hard even now 42 years after his death.
I'm so sorry about your Dad and I was sixteen when my Dad died and I know there was a lot of things I wish I had said 😢
Grieving never ends it just gets a little easier ❤
@@TeresaOverholt-ky1ct that is such a tough age to lose a parent, I am so very sorry.
This song came out 6 months before my dad died.
I was 16.
The morning he left for his operation ( that he didn't wake up from)
I got up early to spend time with him before he left and told him I loved him.
I credit this song ( the lyrics in the back of my mind) for not missing that opportunity
Can't listen to this song without tearing up. Never got to say goodbye to my Dad because he died suddenly.
It’s a great way to wet my contact lenses.
I like how the choir is children in the beginning when he sings of his youthful thoughts but the choir changes to adults when he gains understanding.
Yes, Danny.. It took me a bit to notice that, but it's very telling...
And many of those adults are probably dead now
I took it as those were the ones that passed away 😢
I love that they have the kids choir and the adult choir. The two generations singing to one another.
I'm glad the old songs can bring deep conversations and reflection. Thanks
I'm one of the ones who asked for this song. I've always thought it was so good with a message BUT being that I had a good relationship with my mom & dad, it hit me entirely when Don was talking about his life. It almost got to the point that I was sad as I brought up this song without ever thinking about those who were not as fortunate as me. The choirs were fantastic as the kids sang, then we moved on to the older generation. Thanks guys.
I did too, especially close to my father since I was a toddler. He was the centre of my world until my son was born when I was 30. He died in December 2022 aged 87 and I sobbed like a little girl. Hard to realise that not all have good parents.
Between this song and Field of Dreams, I’d go through a whole box of tissues.
At the age of sixty three…I have lost both of my parents now. They both had a lot of good in them. They both made their fair share of mistakes as parents as well. I now realize that instead of being only my “mom and dad” … they were also just a young man and woman trying to figure life out. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. If we all try to correct even some of the mistakes with our own children that were made with us, we are improving the next generation within our family tree.
Amen! I'm 60 and both of my parents are gone and my only brother. There are soooo many things I would love to tell all 3 of them and discuss with them. Alas, life goes on!
I have always had a good relationship with my parents until a few years ago. My dad has been gone for 26 years…but since dad passed my mother has become very difficult. My husband and I tried to have mom come live with us. I tried for 4 years. We had been away from my parents geographically for 30 years…so we moved back home to take care of her. Left our sons and grandchildren behind to do this. All we got was grief. We could go anywhere or do anything without grief. I feel bad for her…she’s very unhappy person since dad passed and never got over it. I still see about her needs…thanks to Amazon…but we’re back with our sons and grandchildren. I’m still torn in my heart. But there was no pleasing her. I am dealing with a husband with dementia also…so the stress was too much.
I'm 57 and cried hearing this when it aired on MTV & true to form, I'm tearing up now.
Mike is Mike Rutherford the lead guitarist( his band) was the former lead guitarist for Genisis.
I saw Genesis' first-ever bill-topping show in Croydon, S E London with 3,000 others in 1972..
This was a side project by Mike Rutherford. When all together, they are Genesis. They all do side projects.
Greatest most meaningful song EVER
I feel ur pain brother I never had a relationship that I need with my father he is gone now but I was bitter for many years and I paid a high price
Very well spoken Don...forgiveness is a powerful thing to one self ....
I'm kinda in the same boat as Don. Only it was my mother. I never heard an I love you until a couple weeks before she died. We were estranged for years but when she was diagnosed with her cancer, I stepped in to care for her. I made my bed in the floor next to her bed, because she only slept an hour or 2 at a time. She was terrified of sleeping, because they gave her 30 days to live, over the damn telephone! We had conversations that I wanted for years! 💔
I’m so touched by your story Don, about you & your dad. It sounds like you’ve come a very long way 👍♥️🙏
Thought you already reacted to this??? Oh, I see, follow up. Good discussion.
Mike btw, as many of us stated last time, is MIKE RUTHERFORD, a founding member, songwriter and the lifetime bass guitarist and lead guitarist (starting in 78) of the Progressive Rock band GENESIS since 1967. Over 50 years. He formed this band as a "side gig" in the mid 80s along with PAUL CARRACK (the lead singer).
Follow up>>check out also from M+ M
BEGGAR ON A BEACH OF GOLD
SILENT RUNNING (CAN YOU HEAR Me)
I played your original reaction a few days ago to my mom. She loves your channel and the old school videos you play. 2 days after us setting there in her room she finally passed away. Just know thank you for giving her and I entertainment in her last days here on earth!
I do have one request. ZZ Top- Gotsta get paid,,, we're from Texas and love this band
Anyone calling bullshit can look up Betty Miller Calera, OK obituary last week. Was one amazing woman and my best friend!
Thank you both for your openness and honesty. As a retired drug and alcohol therapist; talking through it all is the beginning of healing. Don, please continue your healing journey 🩷
Don you are the man your dad wished he was. His background as a child probably has everything to do with who he is. I don't know you, but you seem to have grown into a very loving, responsible adult. Keep learning and loving.
Such GREAT LYRICS, YOU-GUYS!! Brings me to tears.....HUGS from Texas!! :)
I gotta tell both of you, I am so proud of both of you for dealing with life head on. It's a rocky journey, but take it from an old woman, it is worth it. God bless.
I've known this song for so long and always knew what it was about. Legit hated my father and we stayed apart for decades. BUT this song would come around and remind me that things had to be, or should be resolved one way or another but pride, ego, anger, resentment, right?. Fast forward to today and we are good friends. We BOTH had to learn, to grow, and let go of alot of things. Thanks for sharing. Thanks especially to Don for sharing part of his story.
Took me a long time before I could listen to that beautiful song. I watched my daddy take his last breath. I hope and pray he heard everything I told him before he passed.
I'm absolutely sure he did hunny 🙏💖
He did ❤
@@carolewilson-godber3522 Thank you.❤️
@@sharoncole4868 Think you.❤️
Condolences for your loss.
Mike is Mike Rutherford, (the guitarist), also of Genesis fame, Paul Carrack, (the singer), is a solo artist as well as playing in other bands, ACE, Squeeze, he has also written for the Eagles, (Love Will Keep Us Alive), Paul Young, (keyboards on the right of Carrack), was in Sad Cafe, sadly Young passed away in 2000, the song was written by Rutherford and B.A.Robertson, about Rutherford's relationship with his Father, so many more great songs
Silent Running
Beggar On A Beach Of Gold
Nobody's Perfect
Over My Shoulder
Another Cup Of Coffee
The lyrics were written by BA Robertson and they were about his father although Rutherford's, like Robertson's father had recently passed away.
Don you've helped a lot of people just by opening up. Keep going down that path. It's the key to your sobriety
This is such a sad song. It holds deep meaning for me. I was not there the day my father passed away. I miss him so very much. He was an awesome father. Love your reactions!
Makes me tear up everytime I hear this. Never got to say alot to my Dad in my adult years as I was away in the Military. When he passed I didnt even get to say goodbye.
Great reaction, guys! Hang in there, Don.
I'm so lucky that at 62, my parents are still living and, that my dad...over all the years and fuck ups I've made has always been encouraging and loving.
Hearing this as a teenager I never really listened to the words. But now that both my parents are gone the words mean something and hit harder.
The Living Years is an amazingly powerful and emotional song ❤. It has effected so many people around the world and inspired others through their grief and sorrow. Loss is extremely hard to talk about but great music helps us to get through these really horrible and difficult times together. Peter Gabriel's I Grieve, Lighthouse Family's Lost in Space /High and Mary Blacks Without the Fanfare live (I have seen her perform it so special) touch the soul and make me cry buckets of tears too 🧡🎶😢
Great and touching reaction. Wishing Don strength and healing. You can do this!!
I never knew either of my parents. My father died from an OD when I was 14 months old, my mother signed custody of me over to his mother and went on with her life. There are a LOT of songs from this era that really hit me hard because of that. Obviously this is one of them, but also "House of Pain", "The Garden", "Yesterdays", "Blurry", "My Medicine", "Animal I Have Become", "The Price", and others. Some of them, the music video (like this one) drive it home even more because of the visual imagery. But that's one reason I love music videos.
That was deep AND personal. Thanks for trusting us with that.
I love when Don visits on reactions
I think it's great that you both are able to open up like this. Telling your history as parents and as children. kudos to you both.
You guys speaking from your hearts is going to help at least one person watching. I have similar stories to you both. Military Dad who whooped my ass as a kid for just stupid shit. Like walking in 5 minutes past curfew etc. Yes the switch from my grandmother on my Dads side, which I believe that’s why I got the belt 😢. I’m 54 a still carry it with me today. My Dad turns 81 this month. Very moving song, powerful to the heart and emotions. Ty BP and Don for talking!! 👊🏻🇺🇸
This beautiful song induces a conversation all of us need to have and yet we reject the time to do it. A true treasure of a song 🎶
I understand where you're coming from about the relationship with your dad. I didn't really like mine at all. My dad taught me to be the parent I didn't have in him. For that I'm grateful. I would go through any hardship it would have taken for it to show me what kind of a parent I wanted and didn't want to be. God bless you all.
Notice 2 choirs. One young and the other is older. It is the blending of generations.
There is so much symbolism in the video.
I wish you can get through your anger. Talk through it.
I’m one of the lucky ones. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for you to get to a better place.
I remember when this song came out and never noticed that about the choir. I was so into the music. Thanks for pointing that out.
I'm pretty sure there's a reason your introduced Don to this amazing Tune n seeing him smile watching through the end was heart warming & maybe something clicked in him with his father at that moment.. Knowing now about his father passing I really hope this helped him before that happening & believe me this song hits me for these same reasoning & I get it totally, whatcing both of your reactions & hindsight definitely think you were being the mate he was needing at this point & truely awesome to see this between you both ❤
I always had a rocky relationship with my dad. I wasn't able to get there before he passed away. This song always gets me emotional.
When I heard it in 89 my dad was still alive and I knew this would be a tear-jerker in a future when he would be gone...he passed away in 97 and this was one of the two songs that i knew i wouldn't be abe to listen to anymore because it would make me cry like a child again ( The other one is Father Mother Son by The Scream)....Hearing it through your reaction 27 yrs later and it's causing on me the effect i thought it would ....THANK YOU DAD, YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BEST.
You should do Silent Running by these guys. It’s right up your’s and Don’s alley on the country and where we might go.
The thing with the music from the 80’s and early 90’s, it was very raw and honest. A lot of songs about emotions and tragedy like this song and Everybody Hurts by REM and so many more. That’s what makes these song still relevant 40 + years later.
When you are prepared for another emotional and hard song to listen to, check out Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. It’s about the sadness and guilt he had over the accidental death of his 3 year old son. The details are tough to read. ( use a live version instead of the video that has scenes from a movie ie it was used in. )
Great conversation! We all carry some kind of baggage or burden from our childhood. Those are our formative years. Every expierence (good or bad) is enhanced and can have lasting effects, often times subconciously. We owe it to ourselves and our children to try and lighten that burden (be it strained relationships or some lingering "bitternes"). Communication is still the best way to helpu us heal, even if it's hard to be the one to reach out first.
"You may have a new perspective on a different day" - willingness to communicate effectively (talk real and really listen). I suspect a lot of relationship problems, regardless of the type of relationship, is that so many people want to convince others that their perspective and/or preference is correct when what actually creates stronger bonds is feeling understood.
Brilliant the way this track prompts conversation.
I remember a time my husband broke down in tears when his Dad heard him sing a solo in our church Christmas program and afterward told him he was proud of him…he told me that was the first time his Dad had ever said that or given him any positive affirmation…my husband was in his 40’s! They ended up with a decent relationship before his Dad passed but it could have been so much more….our kids need to hear that it’s okay not being perfect and that when they do mess up we still love them. Just communicate with each other! This song brings tears every time! My Dad wasn’t a touchy-feely affectionate guy but I never doubted his love for me and when he did communicate it was always something I needed to hear, like it or not. I miss him every day! Love your kids, love your people….life is short.
This song triggers for sure. Lost my dad November 29, 2019 and my oldest brother Diego, November 24, 2022. I freaking hate Thanksgiving now.
But, i did get to tell them both how much i loved them while still alive.
My dad and i had very differing world views and suffered a few decades of emotional distance but we healed. I accepted that he was different from me but we loved one another.
Diego was a beautiful soul who taught me to play guitar and all about music. He suffered drug addiction most of his life. He was kind and caring but troubled. I never turned my back on him and i supported him financially the last few years is his life and i caught hell for "enabling" him. No. I loved my oldest brother and didn't want him wandering the streets homeless and hungry, not knowing he was loved.
Love is stronger than pride.
I would do it all again in a second for just five more minutes with both of them.
Being a parent is a humbling experience, isn't it?
I love being a dad more than life itself.
The candor between (and from) you and Don made this one of your best reactions in several respects. I have been a much better parent and grandparent than mine were - so I understand and appreciate both of your POVs.
Now we are at the point where they are 90 and 87 years old and I have had an incurable (but treatable) cancer for 6 years. There are many things that simply are not going to be resolved in this life time. I have been doing everything I can do - which has cost Blue Cross >$15 mil so far - to ensure that neither of them ever has to attend my funeral. I have had long periods to think about it and feel like this is the best I can do. Bless you both.
Thank You for being so real! You are my Favorite UA-cam channel please keep up the Good Work!!! This song gets too me because I never total my Dad how much I Loved Him! All he ever did was work so we had everything! He loved to Golf I didn't but I Mom would give hell if he wanted to go Golfing unless he took me! I never wanted to go Golfing I was into other things! NOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE WENT GOLFING WITH HIM MORE, BECAUSE HE DID EVERYTHING FOR ME!!!
Good song. Good reaction to it. Good discussion afterwards, guys.
That has to be one of the most in depth reactions to this song I have ever heard. You made me think about my relationship with my father which I haven't done in such a long time. He is gone now but although he was always there I never ever felt close to home. I felt cared for but not loved. He was a harsh man at times too, very very strict.
Sending you love Don ❤
Paul Carrack was part of Mike & The Mechanics... and another 80's powerhouse, Squeeze. He also had a notable solo career as well. Some of his gems:
Paul Carrack - "Don't Shed a Tear"
Squeeze - "Tempted"
another Mike & The Mechanics song that is very relevant to what's happening today in the US, is "Silent Running". One of my faves of theirs. It definitely paints a picture.
'Don't Shed A Tear' and 'Tempted' are both fantastic songs and performances by underappreciated powerhouse Paul Carrack.
😊🤙🏼🎶❤️🍁❤️✨️🕊
Paul Carrack is da MAN!!! Love his voice ❤
Don't forget "How long" by his other band "Ace"
My favorite line is “you can listen as well as you hear”…most of don’t really listen to what we hear from our loved ones and friends. Take time to listen to what they are saying. Tell them how you feel. I’ve lost my parents and sister. Once they’re gone it’s too late. I make sure I tell my kids and grandkids I love them and how I feel about them. Beautiful song which I have loved since it first came out.
song written in 1985 by Mike Rutherford, initially as a side project during a hiatus period for his other group Genesis.
My parents got divorced when I was 4-5 and only saw him every 3 or 4 years ( my mom encouraged for us to see each other). I joined the Canadian military at 20 and he passed away when I was on deployment in 1997. We were never close and we never talked about the real things. The things left unsaid can change our choices. Great reaction you guys.
I loved my dad but he really could be a very difficult man to get along with.... he had very strong opinions and a very sarcastic manner when you were arguing with him. He and I certainly had our go-arounds over the years, that's for sure. He passed away in 1992. This song came out a few years prior but it would still pull up on the local radio stations in 92 and I heard it on the way home from his funeral. I was like, damn universe, did you really need to hit me that hard? Thankfully, I did know my dad loved me and he knew I loved him. Anything other than that just doesn't matter.
Let bitterness go. Its like drinking a poison intended to hurt another & it only harms you. Losing my mother at a young age if it had a positive it would be that it made me make sure I took more time to appreciate the parent I still had left. Treasure those you love and love and appreciate on the daily while you have the opportunity. It takes slowing down to realize and as they say in this song you xan Listen as well as you can hear. BP & Don thank you this song hits and reconfirms for me a lesson I learned all too early in life and I'm better today fir putting it to practice 🧡 every night I lay the day down i too bed anything I may feel would turn to regret ya know.
Don I admire your transparency. Blessings to you and mad respect.
Black Pegasus thankyou for all of your reflections throughout this channel. You've grown so much as a father and amazing man. Thankful that you get to use your gifts for greatness.
Wiki: English guitarist, bassist and songwriter, best known as co-founder and lead guitarist/bassist of the rock band Genesis.
The song was inspired by Mike Rutherford and B.A. Robertson realizing their fathers had died around the same time, and they later learned singer Paul Carrack's father had died when he was young, as well.[6]
Rutherford said:[6]
Being of similar age, we both came from an era where our parents had lived through two world wars, when young men wanted to be like their fathers - wear the same clothes, do the same things. But then there was a huge change and our generation wanted to be anything but their fathers. It wasn't our parents' fault, there was just a big social change. Pop music had come along, The Beatles, denim trousers... for the first time, teens had their own culture. That's how our generation couldn't really talk to our parents in the same way.
So we had the idea of writing a song about how you never really talk to your father, and you miss out on these things.
guys, I hope you can feel and appreciate the delicate emotional doors you are opening for so many of of your viewers -- and from my perspective that's a very good thing... a bit of a community service disguised as music video reaction... much appreciated
This son was released a few years after my dad passed away and it hit me like a rock. We didn't end things on the best of terms, and I regret it to this day. Thank you for this reaction video and sharing your stories, it means a lot to me, and I'm sure many others.
Don thank-you for opening up. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I don't have a relationship with my father, but that's for so many reasons. I've thought about talking to him but I know my father and I know he wouldn't take the blame and admit things. He'll just put the blame on my mom, which he did when his younger brother asked him about why he's not in our life. ♥ You're not alone. we're all here supporting you.
Thanks, guys.. such a beautiful song, and meaningful as well... appreciate your listen!
❤❤❤ Goose bumps, and totally different perspective now than when it first was released.
Gotta do Silent Running by Mike and The Mechanics too. Another great, deep tune.
This was written by Mike Rutherford of Genesis (Phill Collins, etc). He appears in the video as the "Father" and plays guitar in the track.
Dang this song brings back memories. I never really paid attention to what it was about as a kid... but, I definitely remember hearing this song play all the time as a kid.
I sang along with that love it... well done Don it's good to let it out... much respect to you.. Feel for you BP lost my mother 4 days before Xmas 2020 .. still hurt's now. But we learn to cope day by day.
Been here done all that !
You can blame everyone you like for your past , blahhh blahhh blahhh.
You can only blame yourself for your future.
Enough said , let’s move forward! ❤
Just get him the phone Don! It's just money and would make him happy.
If you don’t give up if you don’t give in you just might be ok ………nice
Thanks for sharing Don. My son has the same sort of relationship with his father. His father was a drug addict and drug dealer which subsequently led to him being incarcerated. It had a knock on effect. My son had problems with drink and drugs in his teenage years into his early twenties. Thankfully he's come through the other side. ❤
My dad was military, too. He was not overtly affectionate before he retired. I attribute it to him compartmentalizing his emotions. Now, he is very different.
This song has always reminded me of my Dad and my brother. They both did not get along very well. They are both gone and it makes me cry every time I hear it. My brother passed away before my Dad and I remember my Dad being devastated when my brother died. I am sure it is partly because of the regret he felt not being very close to my brother.
Great reaction video guys! This song always gets me because a life of a strained relationship with my Dad which I never got any type of closure or answers before he passed.
Don, DUI's come and DUI's go. Don't beat yourself up to bad over it. The insurance company will carry the memory of it longer than you should.
BP, you may have found your stand-out moment here! Using music to open up a topic and bridge the gap! Imagine if you and Dom had set out to do this as a reaction/inspiration for a deeper topic podcast! Also, be proud of yourself for recognizing and trying to address when you fall into these pitfalls when raising your kids! We all do it, but recognizing them and addressing them is growth for you and your kids!
I hate listening to this song cos I know i'll be tearful and can't stop it. Beautiful really. How do you guys not crack up?
The song sounds vaguely familiar, but the word…..oh my, I’m on the verge of the ugly cry. It touches my heart.
Will always remind me of my beautiful Mum when she lost her Dad. Can still see her reaction when she heard it for the first time
Thanks or doing this song brothers!! This song from the beginning grabs you by the feels and doesn't let go...
Heavy tune -resonates with me also...issues and things unsaid with father B4 passing, etc. Thanks for your reactions and truth -much respect For an upbeat tune -High Hopes by Panic at the disco -Much Love Gents!
I've never hear of you, but I'm quickly becoming a big fan of your real take on moving music. thank you.
We all have different parents but listening to the co-host say he didn't have the type of dad he wanted reminds me of how good my dad was. I also didn't have the type of dad I wanted because he was always against me doing drugs, drinking alcohol, being lazy and eating junk food. He gave me the tough love that I hated in the moment. But I love him even more now for doing what he did. He didn't care if I hated him n the moment as long as he knew his stance in the long run was better for me. My mom was awesome too.
He contributed to so many great genesis songs. A true legend.
The lead singer's voice is fantastic. I think he was also lead singer for the 1970's group called Ace. Beautiful song in all ways.
What a great exchange, gentlemen!
"Cats, in The Cradle" by Harry Chapin BP. You need this song!
This song gets me every time I hear it. I bawl every time. I lost my Dad when I was 10. He's been gone for almost 58 years. RIP Dad...
Hi Don,only the 2nd time I've seen you mate! What you're going through is of massive importance-you're breaking the cycle of handing down bitterness/pain/regret-all of those negative emotions.I never really knew my dad.My parents got divorced when I was 7,and he went to live and work in Scotland,the other end of the country.He passed a few years ago,and the cancer took him so quickly I never had the time to say the things I needed to.So this resonates with me too.Stay strong brother,respect from across the pond.
Thanks for this. I still miss my Dad, who died on the 11th of April,1971 the year before I saw the guitarist here called "Mike" Rutherford who formed this Band after leaving his first band: Genesis.
BLACK PEGASUS: The other day,you reacted to "Peter Gabriel-Sledgehammer" who was also in this group along with Phil Collins.
This song is to music what the movie Field of Dreams is to film. It’s about fathers and sons. My Mom and I had an interesting relationship and I became her caregiver in those later years. We talked constantly. Like your Dad and the phone, she told me what she wanted. And watching her being verbally and emotionally abused since I can remember, I was gonna give her peace and happiness in her later years. When she passed, I could literally lay my head on my pillow at night knowing she finally has peace I made sure her passing was peaceful. It gave me peace.
Get your Dad the phone. He’s not going to acknowledge the mistakes. They never do. It’s your strength that pulled yourself out of that pattern. Tell him your resentment but that it’s okay. Talk to him. That’s what the song is about. I know for a fact that what you do now builds your own peace for your future and your children.
You say you just don’t see it he says it’s perfect sense … You just can’t get agreement in this present tense…WE ALL TALK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE TALKING IN DEFENSE …… This song is iconic and this part above 👆 really hits home….. Because it’s so Dam true…
Glad you showed that to Don.
Check to see if he knows any Isley Brothers, George Clinton, Dazz Band, Africa Bambata ......