Hi all, little update: So as some of you might know, a company on Pam Stenzel's behalf put in a copyright claim on my video critiquing her harmful sex education lectures. I appealed the claim because my video is absolutely classed as fair use: it's transformative and uses the original content for the purpose of providing examples for commentary and critique. They rejected the appeal. I appealed again. Today they rejected it again and have requested that my video be taken down from UA-cam entirely which means my educational and important video will be removed, I won't make any money for my work, and my channel will receive a copyright strike which puts it at risk. This is a blatant misuse of the copyright system in order to silence critics from calling out their misinformation and that is absolutely not ok. I'm currently chatting with someone at Google to try and get some help but in the meantime, let's all remember that Pam Stenzel is an awful human.
Pam came to my high school in 2016 and I can confirm that her rhetoric had remained almost completely unchanged at that time. Being only 15 at the time we laughed at the absurdity of her talking points but looking back now it’s apparent how problematic her opinions truly are. She should not be allowed anywhere near young, impressionable teenagers.
Absolutely repulsive. The fact that UA-cam's copyright system has never been fixed since day 1 is one thing, but to have the gall to strike a video about how harmful someone is impeccable.
“Women suffer years of shame after abortions” “Teens don’t get tested for STI” “Teens don’t use condoms properly” WELL GOLLY PAM, do you think slut-shaming and ridiculing those who have had consequences from sex, and refusing to give real education to ANYONE, might impact those behaviors?
Reminds me of the one Vice interview with teens living in an abstinence state with high levels of teen pregnancy. The one girl said she thought abortion should be outlawed because when her mother got an abortion she was shamed and ridiculed so much by protestors it literally traumatised her. Like the impact of those hate groups literally creates a cycle of shame within people who get abortions that they would advocate against abortions instead of the people shaming them
No. In the old days they didn’t give sex education to teenagers and yet divorce rates were much lower and marriage happiness scores were much higher. There is a direct correlation between how many sexual partners you have and your chances of a successful and happy marriage. Less is better. Promiscuity leads to unhappy and unfulfilled lives.
many people should not be allowed to have children. Home is the most dangerous place for children (& women). She is especially dangerous because she keeps announcing her nonsense and false information to teenagers. 49:09
Pam’s company keeps copyright claiming this video and rejecting my appeals because they seem to enjoy misusing the l copyright system to silence critics. Boooooo Pam! Booooo! 😤
@@shihsntz5301 Oh my gosh!! Thank you!! I lived in the Mankato sort of area for about 9 years. My ex is from Prior Lake and his mom lived in that area until she passed. I always thought that Minnesota Nice was a myth but maybe it's just the area I was in.
@@ursawendal498 No Minnesota nice is the passive aggressive bs. A lot of us are super concerned with not being seen as rude so we're super nice to peoples face and are really passive aggressive about everything. My whole family is from here and yeah family gatherings are just s nightmare of barely repressed resentments and nonsense.
She did a speech at my all-boys Catholic High School back in 2006. At the end of the presentation, she straight up asked the auditorium "After this presentation, who here feels as though they want to wait for marriage before having sex?". And not a single person raised their hand. I hated my HS years and more or less everyone there, but for one fleeting moment I felt hope seeing my peers all on the same page about this bullshit.
Pam Stenzel is such a complete lunatic that I'm not surprised she couldn't even convince an all boy's Catholic school. I question why she was ever invited to speak ANYWHERE besides the most extreme religious crackpot institutions, but I know those Bush years were a different time lol
Mama Doctor Jones, an OBGYN youtuber reacted to an old sex ed video where the lady literally said "Well, then I guess you have to be prepared to die." to a teen asking something like 'What if I want to have sex?'. Mean Girls wasn't far off from real life 😂
She seems like the type of parent to be like: "Never marry a man like your father!" and "Ugh, marriage is just terrible!" and when her daughter isn't married to a man with 4 kids before 30 she's like: "Why aren't you marrrriiieeeddddddd?????" and: "I want grandkiiiiddddssss!!!!" She also seems like the type of parent when her child moves away as soon as she's 18 and never contacts her to be like: "Why doesn't she talk to me??? So ungrateful!!"
My favorite is parents who berate their kid for every little mistake they make no matter how small, and then when the kid refuses to open up or talk to them about stuff they are dealing with, they try to bait with the “but I’m here for you, you can tell me anything!” 😂 LMAO AS IF. They’re just end up using it as more ammunition against their kid
@@deltaloraine ohhh ohhh ohhh, and once they get you, you are screwed. screamed at for hours, sat on a "badstool" when you are 18, clothes hidden, computer taken, phone taken and not bein allowed out of your room at all (not even peeing, you gotta hold it for 24 hours or a weekend) oooor they just tell you, screw you, tell me the good stuff only... i dont care about the bad stuff, deal with it yourself... lolololololol
People like her believe in not only 1 man 1 woman but that you are married to them in God's/ Jesus's eyes for eternity...even if you divorce. It's so fucked up.
The fact that this woman began her talk with the patently false notion that teenage girls are attracted to any boy that is "walking and breathing" speaks volumes about her overall agenda ... Those poor kids --- especially the girls. Thanks Rachel for your calm, informative response to this ... stuff!
as if teenage boys arent just as prone to hormone driven bad decision making...i distinctly remember all genders in hs being equally capable of developing obsessive infatuation with random band members, the hot cashier at the corner store, cartoon characters, and that one cute upperclassman they see in the hallway 2 times a day
maybe she thinks that because she only study the girls who have a new crush every 3 days , and a new boyfriend every 2 weeks, and lusts after 20 men in the entertainment or sports world
I can't imagine going through something like rape or sexual assault and then having to sit through this presentation. When I was in middle school, we didn't have abstinence speakers with such vigor as this, but we were still taught that virginity is precious and you shouldn't have sex. I still remember sitting there thinking, "Oh my God, I'm ruined forever" because of child sexual abuse, like I had somehow done something wrong and immoral.
@@mikifauns He was pretty fierce like you rarely see them that worked up in his subject, when he mentioned that part by going "It's pretty telling that the students that were absent that day, for whatever reason, got a better education than the students in that room! And it's saying something that learning nothing would've been better than learning this!"
I'm sorry that happened to you. People like this don't understand basic empathy or reality. They think about the righteous indignation rather than their audience. They care about their own principles and that is it. No further reflection is given including acknowledgement of these situations, even in passing. It's wrong. Even worse, some of these people are so far gone in their extremism they blame the victims or they need to atone in some sort of way "because they are flawed". It's so backwards.
Pam Stenzel was the only sex education I ever received. I remember her coming to my middle school and taking notes on this presentation. One of my friends who had had sex at that point started crying after the presentation. It was horrible.
She actually came to my high school in like 2005ish and it was so bad. She made all the girls feel like shit even if they’ve only kissed someone. Also no mention of consent or healthy relationships. So students who had experienced assault, abuse, or harassment felt extra awful. It was like a over-the-top hurtful stand-up routine.
the talk really reminded me of the sex ed lessons in the third season of Sex Education where they split the students up, completely ignore the non-binary and non-heterosexual people, plus this woman giving the awful abstinence talk in the Girl's group. I mean the whole season really made me angry from time to time but that episode Was particularly bad.
My son's school still uses her videos in the middle school and high school health classes. I fought the school to get the material removed because of how horrible it is but I was not successful.
@@faeriesmak at least you tried and didn't just let it go bye. And knowimg what's going on and you can actively choose other means of educating your son on this matter so he gets the information he needs
That's why they oppose abortion. The anti-abortion movement believes that sexual acts should only be done in the confines of traditional marriages, and anyone who deviates should be punished in the form of STDs or forced pregnancy. Abortion, contraceptives,and sex education significantly reducing the risk of pregnancy and STDs means that women are no longer bound to traditional gender roles can now have consensual sex outside of marriage, and that alarms them more than any notion of infant deaths.
At my all girls Catholic school we were forced to watch this, afterwards a girl followed her and started commenting facts about how wrong she was and Pam instantly blocked her. That girl was a legend
She literally says she thinks it would be a good idea to put on school announcements every student who has an STI. All she promotes is bullying and self-righteous hatred. Wow...
And then they'd bully the people they're jealous of for NEVER getting called out because they're safe or virgins or whatever. They already bully virgins for being virgins...
There is literally no other reason to do this, except to shame the student. 🤦🏻♀️ Because good teens don't fork, right? So why do they need an STI warning system?
@@angelicasmodel It is. It's litterally outing a student, and leaving them to ridicule. (At least in Canada its illegal, not sure about the states if they let this shit get shown.).
"The only safe sex is a safe partner, someone who's never done it before" No it's not if the partner doesn't understand consent, doesn't communicate and only cares about their own pleasure
So Pam Stenzel actually came to my high school in Kansas in 2011. A therapist of mine called her a part of my sexual trauma because of her ridiculous and disgusting claims.
Yeah, sex ed like this instilled a fear of STIs in me that ending up ruining my early relationships because of my phobia and anxiety and how it made me act around the issue of sex. A whole lot of torment and lost intimacy for nothing. Disgusting what they did to us.
I feel this big time. Shit like this made intimacy at the beginning of my relationship with my loving boyfriend very difficult. Thankfully I was able to work through it, but so so much fear and anxiety was caused by the stuff this lady preaches
This video brought back memories of watching her lectures in middle school health class, now I know why I was so afraid of intimacy for most of my life 💀💀
My gf can't take most forms of birth control, so I'm getting a vasectomy. We're both disease free, exclusive,and get frequent tests, so we don't worry about that. But we're BOTH responsible for each other, when it comes to birth control. This woman is the most sex-negative person I've ever seen!
Why does she hate young women so much? My goodness, like being a teenager isn't complicated enough without this kind of shame. Edit: I've needed to be on hormonal birth control from a very young age, (as they were used to control a menstrual cycle that came far to young.) I've never had an STI,a pregnancy, and I'm still alive after premarital sex, contrary to what this woman is spouting. But that was because I had access to sex ed.
@@margaretjohnson6259 Those kinds of people only know how to communicate through hate. They think that the way to make the world better is to shame everyone into authoritarian order. Probably because they're all evangelical, and delivering brutal hateful punishments as your only form of communication is kinda god's entire modus operandi.
Yeah, this me the same energy of people referring to teenage girls (especially teenager girls) as brain-dead idiots who would do anything if something they like told them so and in the same breath act like they want them to stay safe. Like how is this helping anyone? Any self-respecting teenager would dismiss you as a judgemental prick and would feel stupid when they actually victimized. Teenagers are immature and impulsive but it's disingenuous to generalize them as absolute mindless ninnies who are only driven by hormones
"If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you" Me, a virgin, taking birth control because my mom suggested it to lessen the severity of my periods: 👁👄👁
Heyyy, that's the same thing that happened to me! =) It was a bit obnoxious to have to clarify to people why I was on it though, as some would immediately be like, "Oh, so you're sleeping around, why else would you be on birth control?"
Gee, I wonder why teens don't tend to get STI tests. Maybe it could have something to do with the way they are viciously shamed for being sexually active?
@@mothboy420 That’s great! It’s not true for many people, however. Planned Parenthood is absolutely great about making sure they’re treating patients for anything they might need rather than just what they came in for, but not all medical organizations do so. This is especially true for people who are getting their sexual health treatment through general practitioners rather than sexual health clinics. This is definitely not a slam on GPs, they’re amazing and are the unsung heroes of healthcare in my opinion. But a standard doctor’s office has a very different scope of practice and different resources. I know that I was never offered STI testing until I requested birth control. I wasn’t even asked if I was sexually active until then, so not until I was almost 18! It didn’t affect me since I wasn’t sexually active until a bit later, but they had absolutely no way of knowing that. Also, it was only brought up in an appointment with my mom right there. Again, not an issue for me, but it could absolutely lead to someone who actually needed testing to lie and say they weren’t sexually active. I didn’t even have any additional barriers to access- I saw a doctor regularly, wasn’t worried about my parents knowing if I needed testing, didn’t have financial concerns that might lead me to turn down care, etc. I was basically the best case scenario for healthcare access and education (I also got superb sex ed from my mother, who’s a nurse and who also came of age during the free love era and ended up with rather few hang-ups about discussing sex) and I still didn’t get offered testing until much later than should have happened.
As a product of the rural USA I can confirm how dangerous abstinence only education is and it has effects long after just teen years. I knew a woman who was 25 and thought that men just wore condoms all day in case they had sex. The bit about not being able to express love is interesting because in my sex ed class we were told that all women fall in love every time they orgasm with who ever gives them that orgasm. Was definitely concerned at 15 that I was going to fall romantically in love with my hand.
The one thing I always find bothersome about those sex talks is that they imply that the problem is solely the women's fault. For example, the discussion about pregnancy is as if only the girl was involved in having sex and the man was just in the room. Or it will always be the woman who has the STi and passes it to men. As if it could never be the men who first had the STI and passed it on to women they had sex with.
Off course they say that. In the sacred texts it is said that the fault lies on the women, and that men cannot control themselves. It's all a damn projection.
@@chiaraimpeduglia1308 Yep yep! Raised Catholic here, and views towards women are based on the story of Adam and Eve; women apparently have painful childbirths because Eve was the one who first ate the fruit and urged Adam to eat it, so God cursed us as such. Totally can't see that supporting any misogynist beliefs! 😒 (this is sarcasm ofc)
Or they threaten girls with contracting STIs but focus only on the threat of contracting it and passing it on, making it completely individualistic and blaming the spread of STIs entirely on girls and women. They always neglect to lecture boys on the same subject and the boys/men are never mentioned as possibly being at fault for another person contracting an STI.
when trying to destigmatize STDs it's better to say "negative" or "no STDs" instead of "clean" which implies those who have one are somehow dirty. really great video as always!!!!
Honestly, in some cases of things they can test for in bloodwork you would typically hear the same word as well. The medical term might be negative but doctors know that in some cases people might perceive that word wrong because it's typically associated with something...well, bad.
The disrespect right out of the gates. Wonder how many girls in the audience grew up hating themselves and/or their parents due to this garbage attitude being the norm.
My husband and I are each other’s only partner we’ve had, and I still found myself in the doctors office with type 1 herpes because his parents have it and gave it to him and he gave it to me because it’s incredibly easy to pass along. Monogamy does not ensure safety.
Listen, as a survivor of sexual assault this can be so so very damaging to… just any sort of healing one could have. Even just listening to her knowing you’re about to debunk it all was making me feel sick. She’s like some weird mix between a stand up comedian and a hellfire-and-brimstone pastor in the worst way. Thank you for making this and combating some of that misinformation. I wish it had been around when I was younger.
Exactly, she’s hard core preaching in the style of a stand up comedian. Probably the worst two things to mix when you’re talking about such a sensitive and personal topic. Makes me wish someone would stand up and heckle her…😂
I'll never forget my high school having a woman speaker who told girls that it was their fault for being abused because of their short skirts. The US is a hellfire run by the worst religious fanatics.
Unfortunately not limited to the US; Catholic private schools here in Canada invite people like this to speak too, and we hear the short skirt/promiscuity argument all the time. I loved wearing uniforms (I thought they were super cute), but I'm so happy to be out of that environment so I can wear what I want.
I grew up with these ideas and when I started to be sexually abused I was afraid of telling my parents because I thought that they would blame me. I had no idea of the difference between abuse and consent even though I was 16 and he was in his 40s. This woman sounds just like the way my mom talked.
Lawmakers are always pushing for abstinence only sex Ed, but in all the states that we have that, teen pregnancy is significantly higher than comprehensive sex Ed states. I don’t get it at all
The goal isn't to stop teen pregnancy in fairness, so it's unfair to judge it on that basis. Its purpose to enforce the social norm that women should marry early, have children and stay at home; while lowering the status of women. On that basis it's unfortunately pretty effective.
Those lawmakers & people who support abstinence only have the very antiquated view that if you teach comprehensive sex education, “it gives kids the idea to have sex.” & also, as Rachel mentioned, purity culture is a big part of it.
I’m a fan from Romania. Back in late 2015, like 6 months or less before finishing highschool, the school thought it would be nice to give us a few sex ed classes. Except those classes came way too late (we were almost all 18), and they were organized by the Romanian Orthodox Church, and the speaker heavily relied on Pam’s speeches. I am so happy someone is finally talking about Pam’s horrible videos.
What bothers me about this so much is that she only ever talks about young GIRLS and not the boys who give them the STIs to begin with. More shame being put on women for things sometimes completely out of our control. Edit: I tried to add more to my original statement in a comment reply but I guess it was deleted and thus my reply to that. I know STI's can be carried and transmitted by either gender, that should go without saying, my main problem was that she was singling out young girls as if they are the sole harborers, something us women already have to deal with enough is men viewing us as dirty because of things like that, I was never saying that women can't transmit STI's to men as well. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy and blame being put solely onto us.
Well, STDS can be transferred whatever the gender is, maybe from a womam to a man, in same sex relationships. And control is can be taken by using protection, if the partner deceives you, yes there is no control, but in majority of cases there is.
People should be given accurate, secular and information-based sex education, regardless of gender. Shame shouldn't be involved, and the fact that only girls are on the receiving end is beyond disgusting. That said, it's worth mentioning that anyone can give someone an STD/STI. It's not gender-based.
Oh my lord, this brought back memories from highschool. My religion teacher (who tried to prove that immaculate conception was real because "the holy spirit passed through Mary's belly like light passes through a window and that's how she became pregnant") used to show us these videos and just sit by the projector with the most snarky, arrogant smirk on her face, then proceed to call any girl wearing makeup or having colored hair a roundabout term for "whore". Absolutely terrible.
I had two perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies and I also think it's inhumane. If anybody wants to force my daughter to have a baby from a rape they will catch these hands. OVER MY DEAD BODY. I was raised pro-life, my mom brought me along to Right to Life volunteer events and stuff and it took a long time to push past the propaganda and see abortion for what it really is: Nobody else's fucking business. If my daughter ever needs an abortion and she needs me to help I'll take her to get one myself, in no universe is it anybody's business but hers.
If I had unprotected sex right now (21 year old female in America), pregnancy ABSOLUTELY WOULD be the worst thing that could happen, and I imagine it would be for high school girls as well. I don't want children and never have, I don't think my body could handle a pregnancy, I'm not stable financially. I could get treated for an STD, although it would probably be expensive af here in America. A treatable STD caught early isn't going to financially, physically, and emotionally wreck my body and my entire life.
I hate birth control shaming. Some need to be put on it early due to heavy periods and emotional support. And I know several people who immediately got pregnant, and who wanted to, after stopping. It doesn't make you sterile. And yeah, you don't have to be friends with your kids, but respect them, be a safe person for them.
You are spot on when you compared her whole thing to bad stand up. That was totally the vibe And yes! HPV can totally go away! It’s fortunately the only STI I’ve been exposed to but after a year or so my smears were normal again. I didn’t have a high risk strain. Glad you cleared up her crazy misinformation not just about HPV but all of her nonsense.
Yes you're right. I've had the same happen to me. It's gone completely away now and I've had several normal pap smears since. Pam is just gonna cause people to get pregnant or get a sti with all that misinformation.
"We don't shame people for breaking their leg skateboarding.". My family does. They're Christian nationalists. I went to a death metal show in 2009 and was in a mosh pit when I stepped on a beer slick slipped and blew my knee out. According to them I shouldn't have been doing it because I didn't have health insurance in the U.S.. They shamed the hell out of me for it and I never got it treated. I could have blown my knee out slipping on a rainy street but because I was at a death metal show it was my fault apparently.
@@bunnyflick4387 You can avoid the majority of injuries in pits as long as you pay attention to what's happening and know when to duck out if it gets too intense which is pretty much what I always did until I stepped on a slick. When my knee was first hurt it swelled with fluid for about two months and general diagnosis was that the injury could have been a variety of different things going all the way up to me possibly needing surgery. I lucked out in the sense that eventually my mobility returned so I think what I had may have been a platella tear that healed. I'm still at risk for arthritis in my knee later in life because it was never properly treated but on the bright side I can walk just fine so far.
You should have told them you slipped in a rain puddle. Some lies are okay when you’re dealing with psychos. What galls me is that it shouldn’t matter how it happened; it’s an injury that needs treatment. If they care about their family member, the injury is what matters; not how it happened. Remind them that they’re going to need care when they’re elderly. 😁
@@keirfarnum6811 I would remind them if we were on speaking terms anymore. It's a long story but they essentially got me evicted for being an atheist and tried to pressure my mother into taking care of my grandmother with no pay while they plundered my grandmothers estate and cut my mother out of the will. I found out what they were doing and wasn't having it which was the root cause for them getting me evicted (in addition to me being a non-believer). Haven't spoken to them since 2014 and my life is immeasurably better for it.
Here are some things I've been thinking of lately: 1) "Pregnancy is a consequence of sex, and you chose that when you chose to have sex, now deal with it" ...so, they're openly saying that children are a punishment. At least, that's what it sounds like to me. 2) A cishet, married, monogamous couple doesn't have to want (more) children. Should they just stop having sex? Yeah, surely, that wouldn't cause them issues... And, yes, they could get sterilised, but that's, actually, quite difficult! Take this from someone who is currently pursuing sterilisation.
My (now Ex) long term partner and father of my child gave me Chlamydia. If the feeling of having and STI wasn't dirty enough, the nurse who administered treatment made it worse. She ground the pills up in water for us to drink saying next time one of us wants to cheat we should think about the medication taste. Then she decided that it was her place was to play relationship therapist and find out why my partner cheated. She proceeded to tell me how it wasn't fair to deny my partner. If I didn't feel like it or had a low sex drive, I should ask my OB for testosterone. I needed find a way to spice up our sex life. I needed to run around the house naked and let him chase me. All that did was give my partner and excuse of "When you keep denying me like this i get desperate and sleep with dirty people" I'm so glad he's gone from my life.
Jesus H. Christ! Nurse Ratchett up in there! What a disgusting woman! Blaming you for what the a-hole guy was doing is the height of inhumanity and evil. People really can suck.
Preferably gone in a body bag🙄. Strong opinion I know, but these just makes my blood boil dude. Holy shit, I hope yours & your child's life is better❤️
@@chelseahollis4423 Our lives are better, we are stable and safe. I have a wonderful husband who is trying to adopt our daughter and treats me well. The ex is unfortunately still around emotionally abusing someone else. I have offered her a place for her and her children many times if she wants to leave and get herself together. She has no one with her own dad deceased. She's not ready though
I'm having flash backs to 8th grade (in Utah no less, and growing up Mormon) and the sex ed we got there. It can be summed up with "this is how you get pregnant". No mention of diseases aside from AIDS, no talk about why people like this specific horizontal activity, and also that "gender is determined at conception". This is also the same teacher who cut a student's hair when they fell asleep
In Texas, no mention of contraception, no mention on how to have safe sex, just "this is a penis. This is a vagina. This is what STDs look like and YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OD THEM. You should stay abstinent, no I don't have good reasons why except that sex is bad until marriage then it's good" We had this unit every year of middle school, for a month each. Yet it's amazing how little information I learned. Health class was not a class available to general students at my high school, let alone required for graduation (changed a couple of years before I attended, before then it was mandatory).
I remember seeing a video of one of her lectures in my 10th grade health class in Utah. We also got to watch similar lectures about abortion = bad. It was a completely useless class, and my teacher commented on our bodies in super judgmental ways. 0/10, would not recommend. My middle school school health class was actually reasonably informative, but I suspect that's because our teacher genuinely cared about her students well being.
I also grew up in Utah and had bad sex ed in school. Most of the sex ed class stuff was watching abstinence only video's like this. In 8th grade they made us partner up in boy/girl pairs and act out a situation, in front of the whole class, where one person would say something like "Hey, do you wanna have sex?" Then the other person would say "No, I'm going to wait until I'm married." How did they think that was helpful? I'm lucky that my mom, my doctor, and Planned Parenthood was there to actually give me decent information.
People like Pam will refuse to educate teens about anything regarding sex besides "it will get you pregnant. don't do it outside of marriage" and then also scream at young girls for not being aware of STI screening... Insane
It's not even true if you equate sex with gender. There're cis women with XY pair of chromosomes. The genes on Y chromosome responsible for the genetic pathway responsible for development of male sex sometimes get messed up and you end up with a female Genetics is complicated
As a person who's had "trying to be friends"-parents: When your friend-like parents talk to you in a strict, firm, concerned or serious manner YOU LISTEN because THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS you don't want them to be worried, you trust their judgment, you never feel like they don't get/know you. I have so much empathy for and trust in my parents, knowing they have nothing but my very best interest in mind and know me well enough to advise ME rather than just forming me according to their view of the world/parenting/what they think is best and vice versa. My parents ask me for advice like I ask them and I know they trust my judgment and I can trust theirs. Sometimes I'm confused by other parenting styles, they seem so... weird and unnecessarily complicated :D
I live and grew up in wisconsin. Green bay is a semi large city. Menomonie is a smaller city adjacent to the menomonie reservation. It is a tribe of indigenous americans. That line about "but I live in green bay, not menomonie" was racist AF likening indigenous people to loose morals and high rates of std's, which is not true.
@@cozmo840 yes. Quick edit: The story she was relating where that comment was said, was about her working in the Green Bay area at a clinic counseling a local girl. The video states ahe specially tours Wisconsin
I'm ALWAYS shocked by those videos. I grew up in Germany and my sex ed literally started in kindergarten... Like okay, my mother works in the social field so that's probably the reason she had good access to child-friendly materials for it and was more aware of the possibilities to introduce us to the subject early on. We proceeded with sex ed in school, grade 4 (age 9/10), grade 6 (age 11/12) and grade 9 (age 14/15). They even invited someone from outside to talk about HIV/AIDS (basically dissolving myths, awareness and safer sex). It was definitely heteronormative, lacked talk about consent and I needed much more research to figure out my asexuality but in comparison? I think I was MUCH better informed. While I didn't have THE TALK with my parents (which I am thankful for), a lot of Information was made accessible for teens and now that I'm in uni I also see it improving on the non-heteronormative side.
The only thing i was taught was how the sperm reaches the egg - but no mention if how it got into the woman lol And that was only in sixth grade in Gymnasium lol The education was also split between the boys and girls lol So the girls didn‘t know shit about the „boys stuff“ lol
@@stellaw3682 we had the separation as well at least in grade 4 I think, after that I'm not sure. I also remember we did a whole other thing about the female cycle. Really should have talked about the pill as well because a lot of girls apparently didn't really get informed about what they were doing with their body. I don't mean to say it's wrong to take the pill, just that the talk about risks is often ditched and doctors really should take it more seriously.
we had to learn about STDs 😂 our teacher was very invested and scared us about pregnancy. but i do have to say, that for some kids lacking sex-ed, this issue could be resolved by googling it or idk reading an article about it or videos as they surely know how to do it. Surely those really religious kids don't stand a chance as the parents either forbid internet or review their search history. I know 2 people who had a kid at 17/18 and said they didn't get any Aufklärung and so didn't know about pill etc, but knew how to do @nal probably which was interesting how they could google that but not contraception.
@@gansz_lol the last paragraph got me out of nowhere 😂 I totally agree though, there's so much material out there to get the right information, lots of videos, brochures, books and such. I mean it also basically gets thrown in your face at this age so if they didn't get it at all, something went seriously wrong. The part about STDs is important though, as Rachel said, there's definitely still a lot of stigma around it and people should be more informed - without shaming of course!
Her statement about abortion having consequences for every single person who has one is such bullsh!t. Getting an abortion when I needed one was the best and easiest choice I've ever made, and in the 7 years since I've never regretted it for even a second. My body is fine, my mind is fine and my conscience is fine.
As a mom, a person who believes in God, & a woman this chick pisses me off!!!! Im not my kids friend, although I love spending time with them, until they move out as adults, yet we have open conversations about sex! There's a weird thing called respect! I respect them, their opinions, their learning who they are & (gasp) they respect me & the rules of the home!!! I would never send my kids to hear her talks!
I’m a survivor of childhood sex abuse and advocating for abstinence only education is wrong…because children don’t know they’re being abused if they don’t know or learn what it looks like…
It's honestly kinda fascinating to watch this woman get up on stage and just straight up lie. I'm so sorry for anyone who had to experience this kind of "education"
Rachel, you’re doing a great service in destigmatizing these topics I actually gave a friend some advice (that birth control could help alleviate her typically severe periods) I got from watching your channel and it helped her immensely in ways I never expected: since then, she’s become far more confident and comfortable a person in some part because she’s not embarrassed about her body and sexual activity. Apparently she never got this advice before, but I (a straight dude) knew about this and was able to share it because of your openness 😊
I had a visceral reaction to hearing this woman's name. My church played every single one of her videos available at the time when I was a young teen (early 00s). Her voice completely brought me back to being a scared young girl. And years later, in my 30s, when I uncovered hazy memories that indicated I might have been raped as a toddler, it all came crashing back. Suddenly, I may not have been a virgin in my wedding night, I may not be able to give my 'whole self' to my husband. My brain was screaming a never-ending spiel of UNCLEAN WORTHLESS UNCLEAN WORTHLESS UNCLEAN. I was... not ok for a very long time.
That's so awful! And so many girls & women (and others, too) go through the same thing, and it's absolutely miserable. ⋆hugs [or just a lil friendly wave]⋆
My god! I'm just getting into hearing this person ranting and raving, and omg! I'm actually shrinking down into my chair. I _can_ imagine how intimidating, humiliating, and scarring it would be.
On the plus side, if all you have are "hazy memories" later in life then they are almost certainly false memories. Toddlers who get "abused" in that way are basically always severely and permanently injured (incontinence and infertility are the norm), so as an adult you would either notice symptoms or be informed of your medical history.
On the plus side, if all you have are "hazy memories" later in life then they are almost certainly false memories. Toddlers who get "abused" in that way are basically always severely and permanently injured (incontinence and infertility are the norm), so as an adult you would either notice symptoms or be informed of your medical history.
I remember a sex education talk in my school (UK) where clearly the teachers didn't do enough vetting beforehand because the woman told a room full of 14-15 years olds that it was perfectly okay to have sex with someone older than you (even if they were an adult and you were only 16/17) as long as you "trusted your partner". Well done for setting up a load of girls not recognise grooming there, lady.
Yankee over here: just wanted to share that getting tested for STDs/STIs is expensive as hell over here in the United States. If you can go to a public health clinic you can usually get it for cheaper ~$100 or free if you qualify for financial aid. I worked for an outpatient lab for a nonprofit hospital and our STD panels were $800 before insurance (and you were lucky if they helped out at all). Fun Fact: most of the patients getting those panels were men who didn't want it to go through their insurance and wanted to pay for their test pretty quickly to prevent a bill from ever going out to their home address; it was the damnedest thing 🤷♂️
For real on the expensive thing though! A past sex "partner"😒 didn't tell me that he had something until AFTER we had sex a few times. The only saving grace to it was that he refused to do anything without a condom. But, still wanted to get tested. But the tests are too expensive. 😪
This woman isn't speaking to the kids in her audience. She's speaking to the parents and reassuring them that their children are nothing more than their possessions who should not be allowed to have any agency of their own.
This is going to sound weird, but I really wish that the world in general was more like the BDSM/kink community. Sure, we have some issues, mostly from people playing at kink without knowing what they're doing. But generally speaking, for us, openly talking about sex is normal. Teaching each other about sex and about...uh, practices...is encouraged. We are vigilant about using protection, to prevent both STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Those of us who play with multiple partners get STI tests all the time. We are *super* hypervigilant about consent, sometimes to the point of spelling things out in writing. These are things society in general would do well to learn from us. tl;dr: We need fewer Pams giving talks and more dominatrices giving talks. 😃
@@Kartissa Don't know about you but I feel like I need a solid beating and a day of aftercare from hearing this banshee. (No offense to banshees meant:))
Yes, yes, yes! All of this! I absolutely agree! I’ve had way more acceptance, self and community care, sexual safety, emotional support, and positive sexual experiences in the kink world than anywhere else ever. We know how to talk and communicate; in fact it’s imperative in creating safe, sane, and secure relationships - however long or short that may be. One time or long term. The mainstream need to take a long hard look at how this community practises sex and relationships. It’s fine to be any of these things and educating people to that effect is also important so as to avoid the ‘oh that’s not me so it doesn’t count’ kind of thing. And just to add on to the Dommes educating people, yes, totally but also male Doms, and people of all healthy sexual proclivities, statuses, genders, ages, and cultural backgrounds.
As a 29 year old married mother of two, pregnancy is the scariest thing I can imagine. Both of my deliveries almost killed me. My body just can't take the trauma. If I got pregnant again, the choice to go forward with it could take away my kids mom.
Also she and the neocons voted away unions, affordable housing and healthcare all to pay for endless wars in the Middle East and tax cuts for billionaires!
She came to the Catholic high schools of my sister and I. And as someone who directly experienced her I have to say her 'lectures' are...incredibly awful. Her high-spirited persona does nothing to cover up the feelings of shame and self-hate she generated within someone like me her words. At the time she arrived I was already sexually active and though I was falling out of faith, I still felt incredibly awful about failing to be without sin (at the same time recognizing sex is natural and totally okay). This talk was one of those things that made it harder to get beyond my anxious state and act more calm. I'm glad you never experienced this Rachel, but taking the time to go through it in this video is greatly cathartic for me and I'm sure many others who had to try and get over the harm she caused. Thank you, and keep it up! Especially the poetry content. Love seeing people appreciate the craft.
I didn’t have her live (thank goodness). But one of my PE teachers used to play her “lectures” in class - mostly the one Rachel is reviewing here. I remember the Titanic line from this video very distinctly. I went to a Catholic prep school. Her (Pam’s) voice was so grating that I often spent the time writing fiction & poetry. Even those who followed the rules aren’t immune to the toxicity - it took me most of my undergrad to figure out I was ace and to distinguish what was my own feelings, my religion, & toxic purity culture. In some ways I’m still figuring it out. But if it wasn’t for my college’s in depth health class and the health CDs my parents allowed me to learn from, I probably would’ve been questioning to this day (and not in a good way).
The fact that she worked at a pregnancy crisis centre is a red flag to me because most of those places are predatory and use manipulation tactics to talk people into continuing the pregnancy
im on a bus ride thats probably gonna last 10+ hours i literally want to cry because its an overnight drive and im absolutely miserable because no matter what i do i cznt sleep thank you for uploading this
@@logsday thank you all i arrived i just came back to my hotel i was travelling to a greek island and the crappy bus drive was really worth it. thank you for checking in ^^💕
Took 5 seconds of her speaking to see that she is a bully. That's all I need to know about her, don't feel like subjecting myself to her angry yelling.
She was at my school and she called for kids to come stand next to her she literally told one of my acquaintances whom I played Yugioh with "you don't need to worry about getting anyone pregnant" in front of the whole school. If I can still remember it vividly after 15 years I wonder how he feels about it.
I'm at 18 minutes in where she's talking about birth control. I'm currently on the Depo shot because of my extremely painful and heavy periods. Last week I ended up in the hospital because I had a cyst rupture near my right ovary. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I want to slap this woman so hard for spreading this kind of disinformation.
My mom refused to let me get birth control until college, despite my period being ridiculously irregular (anywhere from two days to two weeks past the average 28 day cycle) and birth control would've made it way easier to manage...plus I wanted it when I started sleeping with my boyfriend when I was 17. My mom just flat out refused and essentially tried to guilt me and shame me about having sex. This BS needs to stop.
As someone who doesn't desire to have sex until I am engaged or married, I am encouraged to take birth control because of my PCOS and to REDUCE my risk of ovarian cancer and RAISE my fertility. This woman who is so worried about cervical cancer and fertility, but doesn't seem to care when it is inconvenient to her narrative. :)
@@triforce_majora That is actually ridiculous. I get her not wanting you to have sex, but with irregular periods, birth control should be considered a "traditional" drug as irregular periods can be the signs of other issues which can often result in a slew of health problems such as infertility and cervical cancer.
@@mikifauns I understand her not wanting me to have sex, but I also don't understand why she would try to prevent me being safe about it. My doctor has confirmed everything down there is healthy, so fortunately no concerns about cervical cancer. Fertility, welp that can't be spoken for since I've never been pregnant and I've been on birth control since I was 18 when I went away to college. I'm 31 now. But I agree it seemed my mom was more concerned with trying to stop me having sex than being on something that would be helpful. I should know (as a former rebellious teen), you cannot stop teens from doing things, you can only educate them about the consequences of their decisions and hope you raised them right. My parents were overly strict and controlling, not allowing me to learn anything for myself so I did a lot of sneaking around and got myself in some questionable situations. Shaming and guilting teens doesn't help them make informed decisions.
One thing I wanted to say was that the whole narrative that women aren't supposed to be sexual or want or enjoy sex is very dangerous because it muddies the waters when it comes to consent. If a women is never supposed to seek or desire sex, her genuinely not wanting or consenting to sex suddenly means nothing because "women never want sex". Teaching this to young boys is awful, but teaching it to young girls can be even worse because they may genuinely not want to have sex with someone but they're supposed to because it's their partner, their boyfriend, their husband, and not desiring or enjoying sex is normal so she's just supposed to do it.
I had a family member almost die from cervical cancer, several others have had or died from other types of cancer. It pisses me off when people shit talk gardasil, anything that helps prevent even a single type of cancer is good. Gardasil hurt like hell, the most painful vaccine I ever had and it took 3 doses. No regrets at all, I'm so glad it exists.
Avoiding ingesting animals and the antibiotics inside of them, when also diseased can also help reverse it and also the free youtube binaural beats? Also recommend the medbeds once hospitals are denazified, along with all institutes, and if you can build them with frequecies, too?
When I was in high school we had a great program where an (inclusive) health organization would come in and teach people who signed up all about sex ed, consent, healthy relationships, etc. In an intensive program after school for two weeks and then a full day class at the end. We were sent to disseminate the information to our peers so the information was coming from a person they have more in common with. It was a great program, and almost everything she said was basically the exact opposite of what we were taught 🙃🙃
I feel the people running those schools feel exactly the same about sex as Pam: "I wasn't informed well so I'm going to make sure my students will not be informed well!!! Just think about the possibility of these children having good questions should we inform them properly!!"
I was required to watch her in middle school and I was so uncomfortable. Our teacher didn’t even want us to ask questions about what she said. So glad my parents were open with me
wow this has unlocked some core 2007 memories! My parents took my 14 year old self to one of her lectures to scare me away from dating. Shout out to the teen 3 rows over aggressively knitting to block out all that nonsense, a real champ. Unfortunately it took roughly ten years to unlearn a lot of that mess, and the damage of the abstinence-only (I hesitate to use the word education?) model is still there. She owes a lot of people a lot of therapy, yeesh 😬
3:06 my mom literally told me to take birth control bc of my heavy periods, even though I’m lesbian and basically ace. But yeah, she definitely, absolutely 100% hates me for it.
It's so awful in the states that so many people think they don't have sti's if they have no symptoms. It's so scary for those of us who are informed. And are then shamed for wanting to use protection if the other person doesn't know their sti status.
I feel like as a teen the fear of being shamed by parental figures or guardians simply for being sexually active could be a major reason not to get tested. Some can not easily get a test without their parents knowing. Whether that’s because their parents keep an eye on everything they do, they do not own a car or reliable transportation, or simply because the test costs money and they may not be able to pay for it on their own. If they say that they want to be tested it is like blatantly saying that they have had sex or wish to in the near future. And adults like Pam show them that they are not safe telling parents this fact. This type of rhetoric actively decreases teens likelihood to get tested
This is how i learned about s3x at a "womens retreat" in highschool, it was supposed to be empowering but after I couldnt stop crying. The woman was a "marriage counselor" whose seen every marriage fail cause premarital s3x, she said a girl who had it would never get married or have a marriage that lasts. That stuck with me, cause I was busy deconstructing my purity culture from church too. Still messes with me sometimes, but left religion way before that. Its shameful how horrible this part of our culture is to women and theyre usually r@pe apologists too
Had I been in the audience I would have been screaming "Liar" at the top of my lungs, and my mother would have joined me. She might have even taken a microphone and started telling her all the ways she was wrong!
I hate how people make it seem like having/liking sex is a sign of immorality. I would generally call myself a good person, and other people usually also think that I'm a good person. I and the people in my life know that I'm doing my best to be a good person and to help anyone I can with everything I can. I'm not saying this to get praise, but just- I know that I'm doing a lot of good things in my life, but somehow liking sex immediately wipes out all of it? A bit off topic, but I think that it's the same with being part of the LGBTQ+ community. I had a friend who's been very religious. I usually helped her and also her sisters (whom I've never even met before that) with homework, essays, presentations... she's been shocked when I came out to her. She's been shocked that such a good person can be so "weak" (her words) and not be able to withstand my attraction. Also, I used to dress pretty "modest" (because I've already been called a sl*t in middle school *because I wore shorts in summer*) and I assure you that you cannot tell if someone is/is going to be promiscuous just by looking at them
You little hussy you! 😁. Just kidding. Yeah, religious people have some very strange ideas about things; especially LGBTQ folks. They think it’s ALL about sex and that LGBTQ only have sex with each other. The idea that gay people actually have RELATIONSHIPS and FRIENDSHIPS is something they just cannot grasp. It’s like they’ve encountered a Martian when they find out that gay people are more than alien sex fiends.
Great debunking! I want to add as a French, here it's been several years since they started also vaccinating boys/amabs against HPV. It wasn't the case 10 years ago, but health authorities realized that even if cervical cancer is most common, as you said, there's still risks when you don't have a cervix. And it helps preventing the spread to people more at risk!
When i was in secondary school, we had an optional sex talk one day - they'd send a note home or something. The man was really sweet, i remember, it wasn't akward at all like most sex classes in school. He never said that if we as kids had sex that we were bad or gross, he simply educated us on protection, stds, and what to do if we have been sexually abused. I think about that guy a lot. His name was Steven, he was cool.
I am a sex and relationships educator and shame is never a good way to educate. It's to control. We also have to know that research shows that monogamous people are much higher at risk of STIs. I've heard your experience by many people, Rachel. Sadly for monogamous people, cheating/infidelity is as human as relationships. Maybe we could question that one day. If we apply what we said about shame, shaming people for making people mistakes in their relationships will only make harder to talk about. The standards of modern monogamy are almost impossible to achieve.
A lot of this messaging is a hang over from the AIDS epidemic. The "I need to know your every partner" and the 5 year number were things I was taught in the early 90s.
Absolutely preposterous. "I have news for my teenage daughter, I have friends, and I don't need her" Frankly, Mrs Stenzel, if that is your attitude, I don't think you DESERVE her either.
They made me watch this talk in health class in high school. Absolutely disgusted with that woman and I am glad that back then I had the awareness to know she was saying a bunch of bullshit.
The first sign that my now husband was a decent guy was his immediate proposal to get STI-tested over morning coffee after we met each other via ONS. Things absolutely can and will happen, it is crucial for a responsible adult to know that sometimes you screw up but that's not the point - you have to know how to work with that. Thank you Ms. Oates for another brilliant video. Love from Germany 💜
As an educator, you have the responsibility to give out all the information, regardless what your own believes are (of course you can mention what it is) but only giving "education" about one part of the spectrum, isn't education, its indoctrination
I'm glad my high school talked about STI's, pregnancy, contraceptives, etc. I know I'm not barren due to birth control, and choose it to control being unable to have a child and other parts of my life. I can control the time I have my period each month. American women may be able to vote, but not autonomy to their own mental health, physical health, or choices made to their own bodies. Pam is rediculous. Many people die or are unable to function as well after pregnancy. Pam shouldn't be a public speaker for this, in my opinion. Great points on regular testing, and great video.
Amazing video Rachel. My partner and I got STI testing when we got together. This is the first time I’d been tested as I was not sexually active before my previous partner, but it did make me feel so in control of my health and body and I felt much more comfortable. I think the advice to continue getting tested is also great. The sex education I’ve gotten, I’ve had to teach myself, and I appreciate your content like this so much.
I remember having to sit and "watch" (I zoned out and just hated my existence because I was an angry teenager) one of her talks for the sex talk day at my Christian high school in the Midwest. We were split between my school's notion of gender (boys and girls only) and as part of the girl group I was instructed to think on what traits I wanted in my good Christian husband and I wanted to yeet myself out of the window of a windowless classroom made of old brick. Apparently I did the list wrong, as most other students put down their religious preference and I put down something like intelligence or funny. At this point in my life, I was actively deconstructing from my faith and I really hated having to attend this school. The movie of this speaker was terrible and the guilt and shame others in my class radiated was awful to watch.
Hi all, little update: So as some of you might know, a company on Pam Stenzel's behalf put in a copyright claim on my video critiquing her harmful sex education lectures. I appealed the claim because my video is absolutely classed as fair use: it's transformative and uses the original content for the purpose of providing examples for commentary and critique. They rejected the appeal. I appealed again. Today they rejected it again and have requested that my video be taken down from UA-cam entirely which means my educational and important video will be removed, I won't make any money for my work, and my channel will receive a copyright strike which puts it at risk.
This is a blatant misuse of the copyright system in order to silence critics from calling out their misinformation and that is absolutely not ok. I'm currently chatting with someone at Google to try and get some help but in the meantime, let's all remember that Pam Stenzel is an awful human.
Pam came to my high school in 2016 and I can confirm that her rhetoric had remained almost completely unchanged at that time. Being only 15 at the time we laughed at the absurdity of her talking points but looking back now it’s apparent how problematic her opinions truly are. She should not be allowed anywhere near young, impressionable teenagers.
Absolutely repulsive.
The fact that UA-cam's copyright system has never been fixed since day 1 is one thing, but to have the gall to strike a video about how harmful someone is impeccable.
that's kinda scary. sorry to hear you have to deal with this; or anyone who makes this sorta content, really.
She looks and sounds like the evil queen from once upon a time........now that I think of it, maybe she is XD.
I hope that company gets wrecked in due time. Your content is important. Censorship pisses me off.
mocking teenagers for being uneducated as a sex educator there to educate them? Classy move
Next time, I'll shame my nephew for not walking at 7 months old, we'll see how it goes 😂
it's like mocking a 5 year old for not knowing their times tables yet when they havnt been taught it
“How did we let this happen? We’re better than this.”
“Women suffer years of shame after abortions”
“Teens don’t get tested for STI”
“Teens don’t use condoms properly”
WELL GOLLY PAM, do you think slut-shaming and ridiculing those who have had consequences from sex, and refusing to give real education to ANYONE, might impact those behaviors?
Reminds me of the one Vice interview with teens living in an abstinence state with high levels of teen pregnancy. The one girl said she thought abortion should be outlawed because when her mother got an abortion she was shamed and ridiculed so much by protestors it literally traumatised her. Like the impact of those hate groups literally creates a cycle of shame within people who get abortions that they would advocate against abortions instead of the people shaming them
@@AmeliaMastervallythat is insanely sad
@@AmeliaMastervallythat's like agreeing with what your bully says.
@@BS-bd4xo EXACTLY. I felt really bad for her it must have been so traumatic
No. In the old days they didn’t give sex education to teenagers and yet divorce rates were much lower and marriage happiness scores were much higher. There is a direct correlation between how many sexual partners you have and your chances of a successful and happy marriage. Less is better. Promiscuity leads to unhappy and unfulfilled lives.
"You cannot withhold treatment from someone because you don't like how they got ill."
Wonderful. Brilliant line.
If she managed to get married and have three children with a personality like that, there’s hope for all of us out there.
fr
But is it a happy marriage?
@@candy-ninja
I seriously worry about her kids. Someone who talks about like this about sex should not have kids.
many people should not be allowed to have children. Home is the most dangerous place for children (& women).
She is especially dangerous because she keeps announcing her nonsense and false information to teenagers. 49:09
Pam’s company keeps copyright claiming this video and rejecting my appeals because they seem to enjoy misusing the l copyright system to silence critics. Boooooo Pam! Booooo! 😤
No part of that is surprising. I'm from Minnesota where she is and Minnesotans are the most passive aggressive humans on the planet.
Her name may ostensibly be Pam but we all know she’s actually a Karen
@@shihsntz5301 Oh my gosh!! Thank you!! I lived in the Mankato sort of area for about 9 years. My ex is from Prior Lake and his mom lived in that area until she passed. I always thought that Minnesota Nice was a myth but maybe it's just the area I was in.
@@ursawendal498 No Minnesota nice is the passive aggressive bs. A lot of us are super concerned with not being seen as rude so we're super nice to peoples face and are really passive aggressive about everything. My whole family is from here and yeah family gatherings are just s nightmare of barely repressed resentments and nonsense.
My dad's side is from there. They're just bitter psuedo Canadians with a bad Canadian accent.
She did a speech at my all-boys Catholic High School back in 2006. At the end of the presentation, she straight up asked the auditorium "After this presentation, who here feels as though they want to wait for marriage before having sex?". And not a single person raised their hand. I hated my HS years and more or less everyone there, but for one fleeting moment I felt hope seeing my peers all on the same page about this bullshit.
Gigachad behavior
Ooohhhh amazing
Even taking the group pressure effect into account, it still means 80% disagreed with her.
I went to a co ed catholic boarding school! My sex ed was the walking dead comics I hid under my bed! ITS A GOOD THING HES A GOOD WRITER!
Pam Stenzel is such a complete lunatic that I'm not surprised she couldn't even convince an all boy's Catholic school. I question why she was ever invited to speak ANYWHERE besides the most extreme religious crackpot institutions, but I know those Bush years were a different time lol
This reminds me of the sex Ed in Mean Girls.
“Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and you will die.”
"what if i want to have sex before marriage?" "then i guess you Just have to be prepared to die"
Mean Girls is more iconic than it has every right to be.
That's what I thought of too
It’s only BARELY an exaggeration
Mama Doctor Jones, an OBGYN youtuber reacted to an old sex ed video where the lady literally said "Well, then I guess you have to be prepared to die." to a teen asking something like 'What if I want to have sex?'. Mean Girls wasn't far off from real life 😂
She seems like the type of parent to be like: "Never marry a man like your father!" and "Ugh, marriage is just terrible!" and when her daughter isn't married to a man with 4 kids before 30 she's like: "Why aren't you marrrriiieeeddddddd?????" and: "I want grandkiiiiddddssss!!!!"
She also seems like the type of parent when her child moves away as soon as she's 18 and never contacts her to be like: "Why doesn't she talk to me??? So ungrateful!!"
My favorite is parents who berate their kid for every little mistake they make no matter how small, and then when the kid refuses to open up or talk to them about stuff they are dealing with, they try to bait with the “but I’m here for you, you can tell me anything!” 😂 LMAO AS IF. They’re just end up using it as more ammunition against their kid
@@deltaloraine ohhh ohhh ohhh, and once they get you, you are screwed. screamed at for hours, sat on a "badstool" when you are 18, clothes hidden, computer taken, phone taken and not bein allowed out of your room at all (not even peeing, you gotta hold it for 24 hours or a weekend)
oooor they just tell you, screw you, tell me the good stuff only... i dont care about the bad stuff, deal with it yourself... lolololololol
“Monogamy doesn’t mean one at a time” uhmmm actually it does? You’re not polyamorous because you’ve dated two people separately, wtf 🤣
People like her believe in not only 1 man 1 woman but that you are married to them in God's/ Jesus's eyes for eternity...even if you divorce. It's so fucked up.
I feel comfortable with Rachel delivering this content to my daughter. Thank you.
@@brycecooper8548 I’m agreeing with Rachel. That was something the speaker said, and I thought it was ridiculous
Don't worry, she's going the Heard route and using 'Monogamy' and 'Polyamory' as interchangable terms like 'Pledge' and 'Donate' XP
honestly this was my first thought too but i *think* its actually a weirdly worded threesome "joke"
The fact that this woman began her talk with the patently false notion that teenage girls are attracted to any boy that is "walking and breathing" speaks volumes about her overall agenda ... Those poor kids --- especially the girls.
Thanks Rachel for your calm, informative response to this ... stuff!
as if teenage boys arent just as prone to hormone driven bad decision making...i distinctly remember all genders in hs being equally capable of developing obsessive infatuation with random band members, the hot cashier at the corner store, cartoon characters, and that one cute upperclassman they see in the hallway 2 times a day
That was my first thought. If that was the case, there'd be no boy or girl without boyfriend.
maybe she thinks that because she only study the girls who have a new crush every 3 days , and a new boyfriend every 2 weeks, and lusts after 20 men in the entertainment or sports world
I mean maybe shes projecting, maybe she wants to share something with the class.
If she feels herself in it
@@Saibellus 💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯👆💯💯👆
I can't imagine going through something like rape or sexual assault and then having to sit through this presentation. When I was in middle school, we didn't have abstinence speakers with such vigor as this, but we were still taught that virginity is precious and you shouldn't have sex. I still remember sitting there thinking, "Oh my God, I'm ruined forever" because of child sexual abuse, like I had somehow done something wrong and immoral.
John Oliver did a Last Week Tonight on Sex Ed and addresses that very problem.
@@mikifauns He was pretty fierce like you rarely see them that worked up in his subject, when he mentioned that part by going "It's pretty telling that the students that were absent that day, for whatever reason, got a better education than the students in that room! And it's saying something that learning nothing would've been better than learning this!"
I'm sorry that happened to you. People like this don't understand basic empathy or reality. They think about the righteous indignation rather than their audience. They care about their own principles and that is it. No further reflection is given including acknowledgement of these situations, even in passing. It's wrong. Even worse, some of these people are so far gone in their extremism they blame the victims or they need to atone in some sort of way "because they are flawed". It's so backwards.
Pam Stenzel was the only sex education I ever received. I remember her coming to my middle school and taking notes on this presentation. One of my friends who had had sex at that point started crying after the presentation. It was horrible.
She actually came to my high school in like 2005ish and it was so bad. She made all the girls feel like shit even if they’ve only kissed someone. Also no mention of consent or healthy relationships. So students who had experienced assault, abuse, or harassment felt extra awful. It was like a over-the-top hurtful stand-up routine.
the talk really reminded me of the sex ed lessons in the third season of Sex Education where they split the students up, completely ignore the non-binary and non-heterosexual people, plus this woman giving the awful abstinence talk in the Girl's group. I mean the whole season really made me angry from time to time but that episode Was particularly bad.
My son's school still uses her videos in the middle school and high school health classes. I fought the school to get the material removed because of how horrible it is but I was not successful.
i grew up with the exact same kind of s3x ed...........i have a lot of issues.
@@faeriesmak at least you tried and didn't just let it go bye. And knowimg what's going on and you can actively choose other means of educating your son on this matter so he gets the information he needs
That's why they oppose abortion. The anti-abortion movement believes that sexual acts should only be done in the confines of traditional marriages, and anyone who deviates should be punished in the form of STDs or forced pregnancy. Abortion, contraceptives,and sex education significantly reducing the risk of pregnancy and STDs means that women are no longer bound to traditional gender roles can now have consensual sex outside of marriage, and that alarms them more than any notion of infant deaths.
At my all girls Catholic school we were forced to watch this, afterwards a girl followed her and started commenting facts about how wrong she was and Pam instantly blocked her. That girl was a legend
She literally says she thinks it would be a good idea to put on school announcements every student who has an STI. All she promotes is bullying and self-righteous hatred. Wow...
And then they'd bully the people they're jealous of for NEVER getting called out because they're safe or virgins or whatever. They already bully virgins for being virgins...
There is literally no other reason to do this, except to shame the student. 🤦🏻♀️ Because good teens don't fork, right? So why do they need an STI warning system?
Luckily, the school wouldn't even get the right to know bc of HIPAA. Let's keep it that way.
@@hope8522 yeah, that whole thing sounds illegal.
@@angelicasmodel It is. It's litterally outing a student, and leaving them to ridicule. (At least in Canada its illegal, not sure about the states if they let this shit get shown.).
"The only safe sex is a safe partner, someone who's never done it before" No it's not if the partner doesn't understand consent, doesn't communicate and only cares about their own pleasure
“The only safe sex is saved sex.”
Not…
Not to mention pregnancy
So Pam Stenzel actually came to my high school in Kansas in 2011. A therapist of mine called her a part of my sexual trauma because of her ridiculous and disgusting claims.
Woah 😳 I just thought that her lecture looks like it’s gonna cause psychological trauma
Yeah, sex ed like this instilled a fear of STIs in me that ending up ruining my early relationships because of my phobia and anxiety and how it made me act around the issue of sex. A whole lot of torment and lost intimacy for nothing. Disgusting what they did to us.
I feel this big time. Shit like this made intimacy at the beginning of my relationship with my loving boyfriend very difficult. Thankfully I was able to work through it, but so so much fear and anxiety was caused by the stuff this lady preaches
It’s amazing (euphemistically speaking) that this woman is getting paid to traumatize young girls. Conservatives can truly be psycho.
This video brought back memories of watching her lectures in middle school health class, now I know why I was so afraid of intimacy for most of my life 💀💀
My gf can't take most forms of birth control, so I'm getting a vasectomy. We're both disease free, exclusive,and get frequent tests, so we don't worry about that. But we're BOTH responsible for each other, when it comes to birth control. This woman is the most sex-negative person I've ever seen!
Why does she hate young women so much? My goodness, like being a teenager isn't complicated enough without this kind of shame.
Edit: I've needed to be on hormonal birth control from a very young age, (as they were used to control a menstrual cycle that came far to young.) I've never had an STI,a pregnancy, and I'm still alive after premarital sex, contrary to what this woman is spouting. But that was because I had access to sex ed.
precisely. same story here. my mother made sure we had proper sex education.
@@margaretjohnson6259 Those kinds of people only know how to communicate through hate. They think that the way to make the world better is to shame everyone into authoritarian order. Probably because they're all evangelical, and delivering brutal hateful punishments as your only form of communication is kinda god's entire modus operandi.
Yeah, this me the same energy of people referring to teenage girls (especially teenager girls) as brain-dead idiots who would do anything if something they like told them so and in the same breath act like they want them to stay safe. Like how is this helping anyone? Any self-respecting teenager would dismiss you as a judgemental prick and would feel stupid when they actually victimized.
Teenagers are immature and impulsive but it's disingenuous to generalize them as absolute mindless ninnies who are only driven by hormones
I’ve also been on birth control from a relatively young age because my periods cause my chronic pain to flare terribly
@@A6by i have long held that without the threat of eternal damnation religions would never have lasted. fear is their only real hold on people.
"If you take birth control, your mother probably hates you"
Me, a virgin, taking birth control because my mom suggested it to lessen the severity of my periods: 👁👄👁
Heyyy, that's the same thing that happened to me! =) It was a bit obnoxious to have to clarify to people why I was on it though, as some would immediately be like, "Oh, so you're sleeping around, why else would you be on birth control?"
Gee, I wonder why teens don't tend to get STI tests. Maybe it could have something to do with the way they are viciously shamed for being sexually active?
Or because there unware of them. I was
i mean i did pretty often starting at 13. planned parenthood tests your urine no matter what your appointment is for (i was there for hrt)
@@mothboy420 That’s great! It’s not true for many people, however. Planned Parenthood is absolutely great about making sure they’re treating patients for anything they might need rather than just what they came in for, but not all medical organizations do so. This is especially true for people who are getting their sexual health treatment through general practitioners rather than sexual health clinics. This is definitely not a slam on GPs, they’re amazing and are the unsung heroes of healthcare in my opinion. But a standard doctor’s office has a very different scope of practice and different resources. I know that I was never offered STI testing until I requested birth control. I wasn’t even asked if I was sexually active until then, so not until I was almost 18! It didn’t affect me since I wasn’t sexually active until a bit later, but they had absolutely no way of knowing that. Also, it was only brought up in an appointment with my mom right there. Again, not an issue for me, but it could absolutely lead to someone who actually needed testing to lie and say they weren’t sexually active.
I didn’t even have any additional barriers to access- I saw a doctor regularly, wasn’t worried about my parents knowing if I needed testing, didn’t have financial concerns that might lead me to turn down care, etc. I was basically the best case scenario for healthcare access and education (I also got superb sex ed from my mother, who’s a nurse and who also came of age during the free love era and ended up with rather few hang-ups about discussing sex) and I still didn’t get offered testing until much later than should have happened.
I thought it would cost a lot? Especially if you don't have insurance
As a product of the rural USA I can confirm how dangerous abstinence only education is and it has effects long after just teen years. I knew a woman who was 25 and thought that men just wore condoms all day in case they had sex.
The bit about not being able to express love is interesting because in my sex ed class we were told that all women fall in love every time they orgasm with who ever gives them that orgasm. Was definitely concerned at 15 that I was going to fall romantically in love with my hand.
The one thing I always find bothersome about those sex talks is that they imply that the problem is solely the women's fault. For example, the discussion about pregnancy is as if only the girl was involved in having sex and the man was just in the room. Or it will always be the woman who has the STi and passes it to men. As if it could never be the men who first had the STI and passed it on to women they had sex with.
And women pressure men into having sex by way of how they dress.
Off course they say that. In the sacred texts it is said that the fault lies on the women, and that men cannot control themselves. It's all a damn projection.
@@chiaraimpeduglia1308 Yep yep! Raised Catholic here, and views towards women are based on the story of Adam and Eve; women apparently have painful childbirths because Eve was the one who first ate the fruit and urged Adam to eat it, so God cursed us as such. Totally can't see that supporting any misogynist beliefs! 😒 (this is sarcasm ofc)
Exactly 💯 👏 Thank you
Or they threaten girls with contracting STIs but focus only on the threat of contracting it and passing it on, making it completely individualistic and blaming the spread of STIs entirely on girls and women. They always neglect to lecture boys on the same subject and the boys/men are never mentioned as possibly being at fault for another person contracting an STI.
when trying to destigmatize STDs it's better to say "negative" or "no STDs" instead of "clean" which implies those who have one are somehow dirty. really great video as always!!!!
Honestly, in some cases of things they can test for in bloodwork you would typically hear the same word as well. The medical term might be negative but doctors know that in some cases people might perceive that word wrong because it's typically associated with something...well, bad.
So you're giving a talk to teenagers about STI and pregnancy risks, and you decide to approach it by... mocking them and yelling. That's a *choice* .
they all went on to get std's :D
Well, I don't see how that could possibly be, as Pam is very much ANTI-choice.
The disrespect right out of the gates. Wonder how many girls in the audience grew up hating themselves and/or their parents due to this garbage attitude being the norm.
if anything some teens would do the opposite just to piss her off
@@remmilayne6153
Nah, that type of person usually only is anti-choice when it affects others, but not for themself.
My husband and I are each other’s only partner we’ve had, and I still found myself in the doctors office with type 1 herpes because his parents have it and gave it to him and he gave it to me because it’s incredibly easy to pass along. Monogamy does not ensure safety.
thats a bit of an overdramatic way to say you got a cold sore, aka something more than half of americans have by the time they're teens
@@caseyc2497 You can get it genitally as well.
Listen, as a survivor of sexual assault this can be so so very damaging to… just any sort of healing one could have. Even just listening to her knowing you’re about to debunk it all was making me feel sick. She’s like some weird mix between a stand up comedian and a hellfire-and-brimstone pastor in the worst way. Thank you for making this and combating some of that misinformation. I wish it had been around when I was younger.
How you describe her is spot on
Exactly, she’s hard core preaching in the style of a stand up comedian. Probably the worst two things to mix when you’re talking about such a sensitive and personal topic. Makes me wish someone would stand up and heckle her…😂
Funny that you mention comedian, she really felt like she was trying to make stand-up jokes, but obviously, none of it was funny
Just imagine being Pam's partner or worse, being Pam's kid. There's some people to feel sorry for!
I'll never forget my high school having a woman speaker who told girls that it was their fault for being abused because of their short skirts. The US is a hellfire run by the worst religious fanatics.
And it feels like it's getting worse unfortunately.
Then by all means, when you have the money, leave this third world country.
I’m so lucky to live in Massachusetts
@Margaret Gibbs
Separation of church and state tends to be an ideal rather than a reality in too many states…
Unfortunately not limited to the US; Catholic private schools here in Canada invite people like this to speak too, and we hear the short skirt/promiscuity argument all the time. I loved wearing uniforms (I thought they were super cute), but I'm so happy to be out of that environment so I can wear what I want.
I grew up with these ideas and when I started to be sexually abused I was afraid of telling my parents because I thought that they would blame me. I had no idea of the difference between abuse and consent even though I was 16 and he was in his 40s. This woman sounds just like the way my mom talked.
Lawmakers are always pushing for abstinence only sex Ed, but in all the states that we have that, teen pregnancy is significantly higher than comprehensive sex Ed states. I don’t get it at all
They hate women. No, let me correct that. They DESPISE women. That's all there is to it.
They don't want to prevent abortions, they want to force women to be pregnant and have children
The goal isn't to stop teen pregnancy in fairness, so it's unfair to judge it on that basis. Its purpose to enforce the social norm that women should marry early, have children and stay at home; while lowering the status of women. On that basis it's unfortunately pretty effective.
@@geraintthomas4343 I've never seen it that way and it kind of makes sense. Makes you feel sick, for sure, but kind of makes sense.
Those lawmakers & people who support abstinence only have the very antiquated view that if you teach comprehensive sex education, “it gives kids the idea to have sex.” & also, as Rachel mentioned, purity culture is a big part of it.
I’m a fan from Romania. Back in late 2015, like 6 months or less before finishing highschool, the school thought it would be nice to give us a few sex ed classes. Except those classes came way too late (we were almost all 18), and they were organized by the Romanian Orthodox Church, and the speaker heavily relied on Pam’s speeches. I am so happy someone is finally talking about Pam’s horrible videos.
What bothers me about this so much is that she only ever talks about young GIRLS and not the boys who give them the STIs to begin with. More shame being put on women for things sometimes completely out of our control.
Edit: I tried to add more to my original statement in a comment reply but I guess it was deleted and thus my reply to that. I know STI's can be carried and transmitted by either gender, that should go without saying, my main problem was that she was singling out young girls as if they are the sole harborers, something us women already have to deal with enough is men viewing us as dirty because of things like that, I was never saying that women can't transmit STI's to men as well. I was just pointing out the hypocrisy and blame being put solely onto us.
Well, STDS can be transferred whatever the gender is, maybe from a womam to a man, in same sex relationships. And control is can be taken by using protection, if the partner deceives you, yes there is no control, but in majority of cases there is.
People should be given accurate, secular and information-based sex education, regardless of gender. Shame shouldn't be involved, and the fact that only girls are on the receiving end is beyond disgusting. That said, it's worth mentioning that anyone can give someone an STD/STI. It's not gender-based.
STI's don't care about gender or race. Literally one sentence that did more than this woman's rant.
It's always the girls fault for deceiving those good young men in to vile fornication, of course! /s
She’s got that “the girl was asking for it” type energy
Oh my lord, this brought back memories from highschool. My religion teacher (who tried to prove that immaculate conception was real because "the holy spirit passed through Mary's belly like light passes through a window and that's how she became pregnant") used to show us these videos and just sit by the projector with the most snarky, arrogant smirk on her face, then proceed to call any girl wearing makeup or having colored hair a roundabout term for "whore". Absolutely terrible.
I realized you're Romanian from the "light through the glass" stuff. I heard it in church, though.
I had my son over two years ago, (very difficult pregnancy and birth) and I'm still recovering. Forced birth is inhumane.
I had two perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies and I also think it's inhumane. If anybody wants to force my daughter to have a baby from a rape they will catch these hands. OVER MY DEAD BODY. I was raised pro-life, my mom brought me along to Right to Life volunteer events and stuff and it took a long time to push past the propaganda and see abortion for what it really is: Nobody else's fucking business. If my daughter ever needs an abortion and she needs me to help I'll take her to get one myself, in no universe is it anybody's business but hers.
@@vintagearisen THANK YOU FOR BEING A LOGICAL WOMAN, ESPECIALLY ABOUT ABORTION
@@vintagearisen YES! Thank you! Your daughter is a lucky girl
"No matter how young you were!" - Imagine being a victim of childhood molestation. Wow. What this woman is doing is egregious.
If I had unprotected sex right now (21 year old female in America), pregnancy ABSOLUTELY WOULD be the worst thing that could happen, and I imagine it would be for high school girls as well. I don't want children and never have, I don't think my body could handle a pregnancy, I'm not stable financially. I could get treated for an STD, although it would probably be expensive af here in America. A treatable STD caught early isn't going to financially, physically, and emotionally wreck my body and my entire life.
Idk if you'll see this but plant parenthood is a good resource for things like STI testing
I hate birth control shaming. Some need to be put on it early due to heavy periods and emotional support. And I know several people who immediately got pregnant, and who wanted to, after stopping. It doesn't make you sterile.
And yeah, you don't have to be friends with your kids, but respect them, be a safe person for them.
Oof. The lecturer witnessed how poor information affects women, and then became a source of that poor information in her efforts to try and help.
You are spot on when you compared her whole thing to bad stand up. That was totally the vibe
And yes! HPV can totally go away! It’s fortunately the only STI I’ve been exposed to but after a year or so my smears were normal again. I didn’t have a high risk strain. Glad you cleared up her crazy misinformation not just about HPV but all of her nonsense.
Yes you're right. I've had the same happen to me. It's gone completely away now and I've had several normal pap smears since. Pam is just gonna cause people to get pregnant or get a sti with all that misinformation.
I am 19. If I got pregnant now, I would become homeless. Pregnancy has consequences
"We don't shame people for breaking their leg skateboarding.".
My family does. They're Christian nationalists. I went to a death metal show in 2009 and was in a mosh pit when I stepped on a beer slick slipped and blew my knee out. According to them I shouldn't have been doing it because I didn't have health insurance in the U.S.. They shamed the hell out of me for it and I never got it treated. I could have blown my knee out slipping on a rainy street but because I was at a death metal show it was my fault apparently.
Mosh pits are great until you're the injured one. I hope your knee is doing ok now!
@@bunnyflick4387 You can avoid the majority of injuries in pits as long as you pay attention to what's happening and know when to duck out if it gets too intense which is pretty much what I always did until I stepped on a slick. When my knee was first hurt it swelled with fluid for about two months and general diagnosis was that the injury could have been a variety of different things going all the way up to me possibly needing surgery. I lucked out in the sense that eventually my mobility returned so I think what I had may have been a platella tear that healed. I'm still at risk for arthritis in my knee later in life because it was never properly treated but on the bright side I can walk just fine so far.
You should have told them you slipped in a rain puddle. Some lies are okay when you’re dealing with psychos. What galls me is that it shouldn’t matter how it happened; it’s an injury that needs treatment. If they care about their family member, the injury is what matters; not how it happened. Remind them that they’re going to need care when they’re elderly. 😁
@@keirfarnum6811 I would remind them if we were on speaking terms anymore. It's a long story but they essentially got me evicted for being an atheist and tried to pressure my mother into taking care of my grandmother with no pay while they plundered my grandmothers estate and cut my mother out of the will. I found out what they were doing and wasn't having it which was the root cause for them getting me evicted (in addition to me being a non-believer). Haven't spoken to them since 2014 and my life is immeasurably better for it.
I got hit by a car and it was “my fault” because I had the option of not bike riding that day. Christian nationalists suck and are so damaging
Here are some things I've been thinking of lately: 1) "Pregnancy is a consequence of sex, and you chose that when you chose to have sex, now deal with it" ...so, they're openly saying that children are a punishment. At least, that's what it sounds like to me.
2) A cishet, married, monogamous couple doesn't have to want (more) children. Should they just stop having sex? Yeah, surely, that wouldn't cause them issues... And, yes, they could get sterilised, but that's, actually, quite difficult! Take this from someone who is currently pursuing sterilisation.
My (now Ex) long term partner and father of my child gave me Chlamydia. If the feeling of having and STI wasn't dirty enough, the nurse who administered treatment made it worse. She ground the pills up in water for us to drink saying next time one of us wants to cheat we should think about the medication taste.
Then she decided that it was her place was to play relationship therapist and find out why my partner cheated. She proceeded to tell me how it wasn't fair to deny my partner. If I didn't feel like it or had a low sex drive, I should ask my OB for testosterone. I needed find a way to spice up our sex life. I needed to run around the house naked and let him chase me.
All that did was give my partner and excuse of "When you keep denying me like this i get desperate and sleep with dirty people"
I'm so glad he's gone from my life.
Wow, what horrible people. Glad you are out of that situation. So sorry about that awful nurse :(
Jesus H. Christ! Nurse Ratchett up in there! What a disgusting woman! Blaming you for what the a-hole guy was doing is the height of inhumanity and evil. People really can suck.
Preferably gone in a body bag🙄. Strong opinion I know, but these just makes my blood boil dude. Holy shit, I hope yours & your child's life is better❤️
@@chelseahollis4423 Our lives are better, we are stable and safe. I have a wonderful husband who is trying to adopt our daughter and treats me well.
The ex is unfortunately still around emotionally abusing someone else.
I have offered her a place for her and her children many times if she wants to leave and get herself together. She has no one with her own dad deceased. She's not ready though
oh my goodness... that nurse was awful!
Why are they all clapping???? This woman makes me so angry.
I'm having flash backs to 8th grade (in Utah no less, and growing up Mormon) and the sex ed we got there. It can be summed up with "this is how you get pregnant". No mention of diseases aside from AIDS, no talk about why people like this specific horizontal activity, and also that "gender is determined at conception". This is also the same teacher who cut a student's hair when they fell asleep
In Texas, no mention of contraception, no mention on how to have safe sex, just "this is a penis. This is a vagina. This is what STDs look like and YOU SHOULD BE SCARED OD THEM. You should stay abstinent, no I don't have good reasons why except that sex is bad until marriage then it's good"
We had this unit every year of middle school, for a month each. Yet it's amazing how little information I learned. Health class was not a class available to general students at my high school, let alone required for graduation (changed a couple of years before I attended, before then it was mandatory).
I remember seeing a video of one of her lectures in my 10th grade health class in Utah. We also got to watch similar lectures about abortion = bad. It was a completely useless class, and my teacher commented on our bodies in super judgmental ways. 0/10, would not recommend.
My middle school school health class was actually reasonably informative, but I suspect that's because our teacher genuinely cared about her students well being.
I also grew up in Utah and had bad sex ed in school. Most of the sex ed class stuff was watching abstinence only video's like this. In 8th grade they made us partner up in boy/girl pairs and act out a situation, in front of the whole class, where one person would say something like "Hey, do you wanna have sex?" Then the other person would say "No, I'm going to wait until I'm married." How did they think that was helpful? I'm lucky that my mom, my doctor, and Planned Parenthood was there to actually give me decent information.
People like Pam will refuse to educate teens about anything regarding sex besides "it will get you pregnant. don't do it outside of marriage" and then also scream at young girls for not being aware of STI screening... Insane
It's not even true if you equate sex with gender. There're cis women with XY pair of chromosomes. The genes on Y chromosome responsible for the genetic pathway responsible for development of male sex sometimes get messed up and you end up with a female
Genetics is complicated
As a person who's had "trying to be friends"-parents: When your friend-like parents talk to you in a strict, firm, concerned or serious manner YOU LISTEN because THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS you don't want them to be worried, you trust their judgment, you never feel like they don't get/know you. I have so much empathy for and trust in my parents, knowing they have nothing but my very best interest in mind and know me well enough to advise ME rather than just forming me according to their view of the world/parenting/what they think is best and vice versa. My parents ask me for advice like I ask them and I know they trust my judgment and I can trust theirs. Sometimes I'm confused by other parenting styles, they seem so... weird and unnecessarily complicated :D
I live and grew up in wisconsin. Green bay is a semi large city. Menomonie is a smaller city adjacent to the menomonie reservation. It is a tribe of indigenous americans. That line about "but I live in green bay, not menomonie" was racist AF likening indigenous people to loose morals and high rates of std's, which is not true.
WOW. I had no idea, that’s disgusting.
That's just vile.
Is she from the area and knew that, or is she not from the area and had to research that…?
@@cozmo840 yes.
Quick edit: The story she was relating where that comment was said, was about her working in the Green Bay area at a clinic counseling a local girl.
The video states ahe specially tours Wisconsin
As a parent I would have taken my daughter and left that “talk”.
I'm ALWAYS shocked by those videos. I grew up in Germany and my sex ed literally started in kindergarten... Like okay, my mother works in the social field so that's probably the reason she had good access to child-friendly materials for it and was more aware of the possibilities to introduce us to the subject early on. We proceeded with sex ed in school, grade 4 (age 9/10), grade 6 (age 11/12) and grade 9 (age 14/15). They even invited someone from outside to talk about HIV/AIDS (basically dissolving myths, awareness and safer sex). It was definitely heteronormative, lacked talk about consent and I needed much more research to figure out my asexuality but in comparison? I think I was MUCH better informed. While I didn't have THE TALK with my parents (which I am thankful for), a lot of Information was made accessible for teens and now that I'm in uni I also see it improving on the non-heteronormative side.
The only thing i was taught was how the sperm reaches the egg - but no mention if how it got into the woman lol
And that was only in sixth grade in Gymnasium lol
The education was also split between the boys and girls lol
So the girls didn‘t know shit about the „boys stuff“ lol
@@stellaw3682 we had the separation as well at least in grade 4 I think, after that I'm not sure. I also remember we did a whole other thing about the female cycle. Really should have talked about the pill as well because a lot of girls apparently didn't really get informed about what they were doing with their body. I don't mean to say it's wrong to take the pill, just that the talk about risks is often ditched and doctors really should take it more seriously.
@@stellaw3682 also, I read "how the sperm *races* the egg" first and was confused
we had to learn about STDs 😂 our teacher was very invested and scared us about pregnancy.
but i do have to say, that for some kids lacking sex-ed, this issue could be resolved by googling it or idk reading an article about it or videos as they surely know how to do it. Surely those really religious kids don't stand a chance as the parents either forbid internet or review their search history.
I know 2 people who had a kid at 17/18 and said they didn't get any Aufklärung and so didn't know about pill etc, but knew how to do @nal probably which was interesting how they could google that but not contraception.
@@gansz_lol the last paragraph got me out of nowhere 😂 I totally agree though, there's so much material out there to get the right information, lots of videos, brochures, books and such. I mean it also basically gets thrown in your face at this age so if they didn't get it at all, something went seriously wrong. The part about STDs is important though, as Rachel said, there's definitely still a lot of stigma around it and people should be more informed - without shaming of course!
Her statement about abortion having consequences for every single person who has one is such bullsh!t. Getting an abortion when I needed one was the best and easiest choice I've ever made, and in the 7 years since I've never regretted it for even a second. My body is fine, my mind is fine and my conscience is fine.
As a mom, a person who believes in God, & a woman this chick pisses me off!!!! Im not my kids friend, although I love spending time with them, until they move out as adults, yet we have open conversations about sex! There's a weird thing called respect! I respect them, their opinions, their learning who they are & (gasp) they respect me & the rules of the home!!! I would never send my kids to hear her talks!
I love great moms you make the world a better place. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😘
I’m a survivor of childhood sex abuse and advocating for abstinence only education is wrong…because children don’t know they’re being abused if they don’t know or learn what it looks like…
It's honestly kinda fascinating to watch this woman get up on stage and just straight up lie. I'm so sorry for anyone who had to experience this kind of "education"
Rachel, you’re doing a great service in destigmatizing these topics
I actually gave a friend some advice (that birth control could help alleviate her typically severe periods) I got from watching your channel and it helped her immensely in ways I never expected: since then, she’s become far more confident and comfortable a person in some part because she’s not embarrassed about her body and sexual activity.
Apparently she never got this advice before, but I (a straight dude) knew about this and was able to share it because of your openness 😊
I had a visceral reaction to hearing this woman's name. My church played every single one of her videos available at the time when I was a young teen (early 00s).
Her voice completely brought me back to being a scared young girl.
And years later, in my 30s, when I uncovered hazy memories that indicated I might have been raped as a toddler, it all came crashing back.
Suddenly, I may not have been a virgin in my wedding night, I may not be able to give my 'whole self' to my husband.
My brain was screaming a never-ending spiel of UNCLEAN WORTHLESS UNCLEAN WORTHLESS UNCLEAN.
I was... not ok for a very long time.
It is gutwrenching to hear that you were so negatively affected by this banshee. I hope you're better now
That's so awful! And so many girls & women (and others, too) go through the same thing, and it's absolutely miserable. ⋆hugs [or just a lil friendly wave]⋆
My god! I'm just getting into hearing this person ranting and raving, and omg! I'm actually shrinking down into my chair. I _can_ imagine how intimidating, humiliating, and scarring it would be.
On the plus side, if all you have are "hazy memories" later in life then they are almost certainly false memories. Toddlers who get "abused" in that way are basically always severely and permanently injured (incontinence and infertility are the norm), so as an adult you would either notice symptoms or be informed of your medical history.
On the plus side, if all you have are "hazy memories" later in life then they are almost certainly false memories. Toddlers who get "abused" in that way are basically always severely and permanently injured (incontinence and infertility are the norm), so as an adult you would either notice symptoms or be informed of your medical history.
I remember a sex education talk in my school (UK) where clearly the teachers didn't do enough vetting beforehand because the woman told a room full of 14-15 years olds that it was perfectly okay to have sex with someone older than you (even if they were an adult and you were only 16/17) as long as you "trusted your partner". Well done for setting up a load of girls not recognise grooming there, lady.
Yankee over here: just wanted to share that getting tested for STDs/STIs is expensive as hell over here in the United States. If you can go to a public health clinic you can usually get it for cheaper ~$100 or free if you qualify for financial aid. I worked for an outpatient lab for a nonprofit hospital and our STD panels were $800 before insurance (and you were lucky if they helped out at all).
Fun Fact: most of the patients getting those panels were men who didn't want it to go through their insurance and wanted to pay for their test pretty quickly to prevent a bill from ever going out to their home address; it was the damnedest thing 🤷♂️
Planned parenthood is a good resource for testing, especially if you don’t have insurance. They’re income based.
@@lindseystein9676 its too bad they keep getting closed in places that need them. I know my nearest PP is 1.5 hours away
For real on the expensive thing though! A past sex "partner"😒 didn't tell me that he had something until AFTER we had sex a few times. The only saving grace to it was that he refused to do anything without a condom.
But, still wanted to get tested. But the tests are too expensive. 😪
This is terrible! I'm the UK you can get free STI tests through the mail, in anonymous boxes...
.... With respect, you guys are so fucked. No wonder few people, especially young people, don't get tested.
This woman isn't speaking to the kids in her audience. She's speaking to the parents and reassuring them that their children are nothing more than their possessions who should not be allowed to have any agency of their own.
This!
This is going to sound weird, but I really wish that the world in general was more like the BDSM/kink community. Sure, we have some issues, mostly from people playing at kink without knowing what they're doing. But generally speaking, for us, openly talking about sex is normal. Teaching each other about sex and about...uh, practices...is encouraged. We are vigilant about using protection, to prevent both STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Those of us who play with multiple partners get STI tests all the time. We are *super* hypervigilant about consent, sometimes to the point of spelling things out in writing. These are things society in general would do well to learn from us.
tl;dr: We need fewer Pams giving talks and more dominatrices giving talks. 😃
Hell yes!
Don't forget the aftercare.
@@Kartissa Don't know about you but I feel like I need a solid beating and a day of aftercare from hearing this banshee. (No offense to banshees meant:))
@@Kartissa That, too! I knew I was forgetting something...
Yes, yes, yes! All of this! I absolutely agree! I’ve had way more acceptance, self and community care, sexual safety, emotional support, and positive sexual experiences in the kink world than anywhere else ever. We know how to talk and communicate; in fact it’s imperative in creating safe, sane, and secure relationships - however long or short that may be. One time or long term. The mainstream need to take a long hard look at how this community practises sex and relationships. It’s fine to be any of these things and educating people to that effect is also important so as to avoid the ‘oh that’s not me so it doesn’t count’ kind of thing.
And just to add on to the Dommes educating people, yes, totally but also male Doms, and people of all healthy sexual proclivities, statuses, genders, ages, and cultural backgrounds.
As a 29 year old married mother of two, pregnancy is the scariest thing I can imagine. Both of my deliveries almost killed me. My body just can't take the trauma. If I got pregnant again, the choice to go forward with it could take away my kids mom.
Also she and the neocons voted away unions, affordable housing and healthcare all to pay for endless wars in the Middle East and tax cuts for billionaires!
She came to the Catholic high schools of my sister and I. And as someone who directly experienced her I have to say her 'lectures' are...incredibly awful. Her high-spirited persona does nothing to cover up the feelings of shame and self-hate she generated within someone like me her words. At the time she arrived I was already sexually active and though I was falling out of faith, I still felt incredibly awful about failing to be without sin (at the same time recognizing sex is natural and totally okay). This talk was one of those things that made it harder to get beyond my anxious state and act more calm. I'm glad you never experienced this Rachel, but taking the time to go through it in this video is greatly cathartic for me and I'm sure many others who had to try and get over the harm she caused. Thank you, and keep it up! Especially the poetry content. Love seeing people appreciate the craft.
I didn’t have her live (thank goodness). But one of my PE teachers used to play her “lectures” in class - mostly the one Rachel is reviewing here. I remember the Titanic line from this video very distinctly.
I went to a Catholic prep school. Her (Pam’s) voice was so grating that I often spent the time writing fiction & poetry. Even those who followed the rules aren’t immune to the toxicity - it took me most of my undergrad to figure out I was ace and to distinguish what was my own feelings, my religion, & toxic purity culture. In some ways I’m still figuring it out. But if it wasn’t for my college’s in depth health class and the health CDs my parents allowed me to learn from, I probably would’ve been questioning to this day (and not in a good way).
"You can't not treat someone because you don't like how they got ill." PREACH
I saw her in Last Week Tonight, she scares the hell out of me. The sheer anger at people not behaving how she likes is concerning.
That’s where I saw her too. John Oliver has the great talent of making you laugh while simultaneously depressing the hell out of you…
I love last week tonight. it really covers some of the most important topics in depth and accurately
@@mothboy420 I do also feel slightly smug whenever John complains about no-one over here knowing him. I knew him, but I am a bit of a comedy nerd.
The fact that she worked at a pregnancy crisis centre is a red flag to me because most of those places are predatory and use manipulation tactics to talk people into continuing the pregnancy
im on a bus ride thats probably gonna last 10+ hours i literally want to cry because its an overnight drive and im absolutely miserable because no matter what i do i cznt sleep thank you for uploading this
oh nooo, I hope your journey isn't too bad and passed quickly!
Stick your phone on vibrate and use your imagination
hey how's it going? I hope it wasn't too bad and you eventually got some sleep :))
@@logsday thank you all i arrived i just came back to my hotel i was travelling to a greek island and the crappy bus drive was really worth it. thank you for checking in ^^💕
@@hidansektas glad to hear it!
Took 5 seconds of her speaking to see that she is a bully. That's all I need to know about her, don't feel like subjecting myself to her angry yelling.
She was at my school and she called for kids to come stand next to her she literally told one of my acquaintances whom I played Yugioh with "you don't need to worry about getting anyone pregnant" in front of the whole school. If I can still remember it vividly after 15 years I wonder how he feels about it.
I'm at 18 minutes in where she's talking about birth control. I'm currently on the Depo shot because of my extremely painful and heavy periods. Last week I ended up in the hospital because I had a cyst rupture near my right ovary. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I want to slap this woman so hard for spreading this kind of disinformation.
My mom refused to let me get birth control until college, despite my period being ridiculously irregular (anywhere from two days to two weeks past the average 28 day cycle) and birth control would've made it way easier to manage...plus I wanted it when I started sleeping with my boyfriend when I was 17. My mom just flat out refused and essentially tried to guilt me and shame me about having sex. This BS needs to stop.
As someone who doesn't desire to have sex until I am engaged or married, I am encouraged to take birth control because of my PCOS and to REDUCE my risk of ovarian cancer and RAISE my fertility. This woman who is so worried about cervical cancer and fertility, but doesn't seem to care when it is inconvenient to her narrative. :)
@@triforce_majora That is actually ridiculous. I get her not wanting you to have sex, but with irregular periods, birth control should be considered a "traditional" drug as irregular periods can be the signs of other issues which can often result in a slew of health problems such as infertility and cervical cancer.
@@mikifauns I understand her not wanting me to have sex, but I also don't understand why she would try to prevent me being safe about it. My doctor has confirmed everything down there is healthy, so fortunately no concerns about cervical cancer. Fertility, welp that can't be spoken for since I've never been pregnant and I've been on birth control since I was 18 when I went away to college. I'm 31 now. But I agree it seemed my mom was more concerned with trying to stop me having sex than being on something that would be helpful. I should know (as a former rebellious teen), you cannot stop teens from doing things, you can only educate them about the consequences of their decisions and hope you raised them right. My parents were overly strict and controlling, not allowing me to learn anything for myself so I did a lot of sneaking around and got myself in some questionable situations. Shaming and guilting teens doesn't help them make informed decisions.
One thing I wanted to say was that the whole narrative that women aren't supposed to be sexual or want or enjoy sex is very dangerous because it muddies the waters when it comes to consent.
If a women is never supposed to seek or desire sex, her genuinely not wanting or consenting to sex suddenly means nothing because "women never want sex". Teaching this to young boys is awful, but teaching it to young girls can be even worse because they may genuinely not want to have sex with someone but they're supposed to because it's their partner, their boyfriend, their husband, and not desiring or enjoying sex is normal so she's just supposed to do it.
I never thought of that, but it makes a lot of sense
I had a family member almost die from cervical cancer, several others have had or died from other types of cancer. It pisses me off when people shit talk gardasil, anything that helps prevent even a single type of cancer is good. Gardasil hurt like hell, the most painful vaccine I ever had and it took 3 doses. No regrets at all, I'm so glad it exists.
I’ve had my first dose, and am coming up on the second one here soon. Have to say though that Tetanus beats it by a mile in the pain department.
Avoiding ingesting animals and the antibiotics inside of them, when also diseased can also help reverse it and also the free youtube binaural beats? Also recommend the medbeds once hospitals are denazified, along with all institutes, and if you can build them with frequecies, too?
When I was in high school we had a great program where an (inclusive) health organization would come in and teach people who signed up all about sex ed, consent, healthy relationships, etc. In an intensive program after school for two weeks and then a full day class at the end. We were sent to disseminate the information to our peers so the information was coming from a person they have more in common with.
It was a great program, and almost everything she said was basically the exact opposite of what we were taught 🙃🙃
I can't believe schools are allowed to invite her as a speaker. That's just so horrible.
I feel the people running those schools feel exactly the same about sex as Pam: "I wasn't informed well so I'm going to make sure my students will not be informed well!!! Just think about the possibility of these children having good questions should we inform them properly!!"
Pam in the future: why won't my kids talk to me?
I was required to watch her in middle school and I was so uncomfortable. Our teacher didn’t even want us to ask questions about what she said. So glad my parents were open with me
Ugh yes that reminds me of the time I got the morning after pill once. The girl at the counter knew me and said "that's awkard" and I was like is it??
wow this has unlocked some core 2007 memories! My parents took my 14 year old self to one of her lectures to scare me away from dating. Shout out to the teen 3 rows over aggressively knitting to block out all that nonsense, a real champ. Unfortunately it took roughly ten years to unlearn a lot of that mess, and the damage of the abstinence-only (I hesitate to use the word education?) model is still there. She owes a lot of people a lot of therapy, yeesh 😬
knitting?! lmao that's awesome. sorry you had to go through that though
@pannucabaguana In 2007 I was chomping at the bit for the release of Metroid Prime 3 Corruption.
3:06 my mom literally told me to take birth control bc of my heavy periods, even though I’m lesbian and basically ace. But yeah, she definitely, absolutely 100% hates me for it.
It's so awful in the states that so many people think they don't have sti's if they have no symptoms. It's so scary for those of us who are informed. And are then shamed for wanting to use protection if the other person doesn't know their sti status.
I feel like as a teen the fear of being shamed by parental figures or guardians simply for being sexually active could be a major reason not to get tested. Some can not easily get a test without their parents knowing. Whether that’s because their parents keep an eye on everything they do, they do not own a car or reliable transportation, or simply because the test costs money and they may not be able to pay for it on their own. If they say that they want to be tested it is like blatantly saying that they have had sex or wish to in the near future. And adults like Pam show them that they are not safe telling parents this fact. This type of rhetoric actively decreases teens likelihood to get tested
This is how i learned about s3x at a "womens retreat" in highschool, it was supposed to be empowering but after I couldnt stop crying. The woman was a "marriage counselor" whose seen every marriage fail cause premarital s3x, she said a girl who had it would never get married or have a marriage that lasts. That stuck with me, cause I was busy deconstructing my purity culture from church too. Still messes with me sometimes, but left religion way before that. Its shameful how horrible this part of our culture is to women and theyre usually r@pe apologists too
Had I been in the audience I would have been screaming "Liar" at the top of my lungs, and my mother would have joined me. She might have even taken a microphone and started telling her all the ways she was wrong!
I hate how people make it seem like having/liking sex is a sign of immorality. I would generally call myself a good person, and other people usually also think that I'm a good person. I and the people in my life know that I'm doing my best to be a good person and to help anyone I can with everything I can. I'm not saying this to get praise, but just- I know that I'm doing a lot of good things in my life, but somehow liking sex immediately wipes out all of it?
A bit off topic, but I think that it's the same with being part of the LGBTQ+ community. I had a friend who's been very religious. I usually helped her and also her sisters (whom I've never even met before that) with homework, essays, presentations... she's been shocked when I came out to her. She's been shocked that such a good person can be so "weak" (her words) and not be able to withstand my attraction.
Also, I used to dress pretty "modest" (because I've already been called a sl*t in middle school *because I wore shorts in summer*) and I assure you that you cannot tell if someone is/is going to be promiscuous just by looking at them
You little hussy you! 😁. Just kidding. Yeah, religious people have some very strange ideas about things; especially LGBTQ folks. They think it’s ALL about sex and that LGBTQ only have sex with each other. The idea that gay people actually have RELATIONSHIPS and FRIENDSHIPS is something they just cannot grasp. It’s like they’ve encountered a Martian when they find out that gay people are more than alien sex fiends.
Your "friend" is nasty
i'm sorry for you i hope you have trusting and caring people around you now
@@the-entity It's okay. I don't have anyone but I guess I'll just have to survive on my own
@@noname-ur4gr you can do it :) 💚
Great debunking! I want to add as a French, here it's been several years since they started also vaccinating boys/amabs against HPV. It wasn't the case 10 years ago, but health authorities realized that even if cervical cancer is most common, as you said, there's still risks when you don't have a cervix. And it helps preventing the spread to people more at risk!
WHY IS THAT WOMAN YELLING TO MY FACE LIKE THIS
I WISH I KNEW
@@RachelOates IF I SHOUT HALF TRUTHS AND DISTORTED FACTS LOUD ENOUGH IT MAKES THEM TRUE. DIDN'T YOU KNOW?
Probably missed the calling to be a evangelical minister.
@@geraintthomas4343 CAN YOU CURE DISABILITIES WITH THIS?!??!?!?!?!??!!
@@Roadent1241 OF COURSE! ALSO IF SOMEONE CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH YOU DO THIS AND SUDDENLY THEY WILL UNDERSTAND YOU!
When i was in secondary school, we had an optional sex talk one day - they'd send a note home or something. The man was really sweet, i remember, it wasn't akward at all like most sex classes in school. He never said that if we as kids had sex that we were bad or gross, he simply educated us on protection, stds, and what to do if we have been sexually abused. I think about that guy a lot. His name was Steven, he was cool.
I am a sex and relationships educator and shame is never a good way to educate. It's to control. We also have to know that research shows that monogamous people are much higher at risk of STIs. I've heard your experience by many people, Rachel. Sadly for monogamous people, cheating/infidelity is as human as relationships. Maybe we could question that one day. If we apply what we said about shame, shaming people for making people mistakes in their relationships will only make harder to talk about. The standards of modern monogamy are almost impossible to achieve.
Oh and great video! You're amazing and thank you so much for your work ❤️
"Pregnancy isn't a disease. It is survivable."
So is most other diseases. That doesn't mean those diseases can't kill people.
A lot of this messaging is a hang over from the AIDS epidemic. The "I need to know your every partner" and the 5 year number were things I was taught in the early 90s.
5 year number? I don't remember anything about that from hs in the early 90s.
@@LynxieDove it was when HIV testing was way less reliable or.something? Idk. Maybe I'm remembering wrong.
Why is she yelling? WHY ARE THEY LAUGHING AT HER WORDS?! What's so funny about them or her? She's scary, actually.
Anything other than science based sex education should be age restricted to 18+. Minors need actual knowledge.
Absolutely preposterous.
"I have news for my teenage daughter, I have friends, and I don't need her"
Frankly, Mrs Stenzel, if that is your attitude, I don't think you DESERVE her either.
They made me watch this talk in health class in high school. Absolutely disgusted with that woman and I am glad that back then I had the awareness to know she was saying a bunch of bullshit.
I remember watching this video at Youth Group. All I remember was her yelling about how sex is bad, and that men should stay away from alcohol.
The first sign that my now husband was a decent guy was his immediate proposal to get STI-tested over morning coffee after we met each other via ONS. Things absolutely can and will happen, it is crucial for a responsible adult to know that sometimes you screw up but that's not the point - you have to know how to work with that.
Thank you Ms. Oates for another brilliant video. Love from Germany 💜
As an educator, you have the responsibility to give out all the information, regardless what your own believes are (of course you can mention what it is) but only giving "education" about one part of the spectrum, isn't education, its indoctrination
I'm glad my high school talked about STI's, pregnancy, contraceptives, etc. I know I'm not barren due to birth control, and choose it to control being unable to have a child and other parts of my life. I can control the time I have my period each month. American women may be able to vote, but not autonomy to their own mental health, physical health, or choices made to their own bodies. Pam is rediculous. Many people die or are unable to function as well after pregnancy. Pam shouldn't be a public speaker for this, in my opinion. Great points on regular testing, and great video.
The pill is the the thing that finally made my menstrual cycles predictable and stable. It’s been so helpful for me to manage my life and my health.
"Abortion is painful" like birth isnt?
Amazing video Rachel. My partner and I got STI testing when we got together. This is the first time I’d been tested as I was not sexually active before my previous partner, but it did make me feel so in control of my health and body and I felt much more comfortable. I think the advice to continue getting tested is also great. The sex education I’ve gotten, I’ve had to teach myself, and I appreciate your content like this so much.
The way this woman speaks to teenagers just comes off as condescending spiteful and just plain mean
I remember having to sit and "watch" (I zoned out and just hated my existence because I was an angry teenager) one of her talks for the sex talk day at my Christian high school in the Midwest. We were split between my school's notion of gender (boys and girls only) and as part of the girl group I was instructed to think on what traits I wanted in my good Christian husband and I wanted to yeet myself out of the window of a windowless classroom made of old brick. Apparently I did the list wrong, as most other students put down their religious preference and I put down something like intelligence or funny. At this point in my life, I was actively deconstructing from my faith and I really hated having to attend this school. The movie of this speaker was terrible and the guilt and shame others in my class radiated was awful to watch.