As somebody who has a crazy manipulative mother, that mother who had her daughter shave her head was insane. No she isn’t in DANGER, physically, but emotionally this girl is going through abuse.
Definitely, I also had a very manipulative mother and she used similar language to make me do something. It's definitely abuse and it stays with you your whole life.
Exactly!! If someone wants to shave their head in support if I get cancer then I will be so grateful, but it’s a drastic change to your appearance, and most people aren’t able to cope with the looks they would get if they did that, let alone a teenage girl in high school. Teenagers are so mean and cruel and to force your daughter to shave her head is a one way ticket to her being ostracised by her peers and her resenting you for it :((
Yup. I’m going through this, but with an aunt. Crazy manipulative and abusive, and now that she has cancer she takes it as a free card to be even worse. It is such a difficult situation. It is absolutely NOT ok even though the mom has cancer. Imagine saying to your daughter you will never forgive her
I do empathize with her situation but she has a 100% survival rate. She's not dying. Kinda shocks me that she'd go to the extent of manipulation with her own daughter. A teenager. People truly shock me sometimes.
@dhairiyasundar1285 yes but the chemotherapy really plays with their emotions and they become more sensitive and more angry. Just bcz the doc says oh don't worry ull survive doesn't mean u magically gonna be fine. It takes a toll
The fact that the mum said that loosing her hair was one of the hardest parts of her experience and then wanted her daughter to go through that as well as her. She knows how it feels and her 17y/o daughter has to deal with other 17y/os judging her appearance and stuff she’s in her social peak, so it’ll be worse for her. I understand not wanting to feel alone when you’re suffering - but there are other ways to feel supported.
yes, to me it feels like the mom watched too many of the videos/read to many stories where the families do that - and she wanted the same thing. imo - it's a very superficial support - and would rather have beautiful (and with hair) people around me, that would help me get to the doctor, let me cry or forget about the situation. what good does the haircut/buzz do? I see no point other than showing off to random people or neighbours
I work at an infertility clinic and a "rainbow baby" is what we call one that was born after the mother experienced miscarriage, and although someone experiencing infertility might see that baby as a miracle and want to treat the child some special way, I do agree that all kids should be taught how to behave socially regardless
My mom had 3 miscarriages before she had me at age 42. She had one of my sisters at age 36, after 2 miscarriages as well. And she never treated us differently or with more love than our eldest sister. I didn't even know I was a rainbow baby until I was like 16 I think
I was in the exact situation, the only difference is I was also physically assaulted. It was so bad I was taken out of school and was homeschooled for a year. I still have ptsd from the assault. I really appreciated Dylan's perspective, and you as well.
@@kiomaelouch7192 The issue is, punishment doesn't work. If the girl gets time to better herself for prom.. well, she's doing it for prom and not because she magically grew a spine and wants to better herself. The parents should have serious talks with her, maybe do family or individual counselling to work on the root cause of the bullying. Maybe it was poor self esteem and she did follow a bad influence but maybe she was the one leading the bullying. The motif and everything needs to be sorted out. Punishment will only lead to her hiding her wrongdoings better in the future and it doesn't do shit for the victim(s).
The issue is, retaliation and punishment for bullying don't make a better person, but someone angrier, more closed off and more likely to harm themselves or others in the future.
I agree that senior prom is a once in a lifetime opportunity, though. Especially if she has a boyfriend/date. For the Instagram pictures, just screenshot the pictures and boom problem solved! She now has the pictures back on her phone.
@@Shirumoonare you the girl that was being a racist bully? What do you mean punishments are useless? If she never learns there are consequences to her actions I dread what kind of person she’ll grow up to be.
Honestly, call me an a-hole but it is definitely not okay to propose on someone else's wedding without taking their permission. Just because one person on the internet is okay with it doesn't mean, everyone wants to share their day like that and that's okay. Calling them a narcissist is way too judgemental. And maybe firing his brother was a little bit rash, but he is still the business owner, he is allowed to do whatever he wants. Plus his brother literally proposed during the best man toast. Typically the best man toast is used to talk about the bride and groom, how they met or crack jokes about them, instead the brother made it all about himself. If he wanted to propose why not at least propose at the dance floor, instead of during the middle of the speeches?
I think it’s a touchy subject. Some people mind and some people don’t. Doing it during the toast was a bit much. I totally get why he was pissed but firing him was a spiteful a**hole move
@@Swiftiebooklover7 Being a business owner doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want with employees. People do it, for sure. People abuse their power on a day to day basis. But people can also sue their employers for wrongful termination which is entirely applicable to what happened in the story.
exactly what i thought. wanting someone you supposed to love to feel bad just because you feel bad yourself is horrible and i think even emotionally abusive. having a serious illness doesn't give anyone the right to be a manipulative asshole.
Well saying “my miracle baby” is usually not a good sign because a lot of the moms just let their child do almost anything because they’re their little miracle child
As a mom, if I ever had cancer and had to lose my hair, I'd never ask my daughter to shave hers. For one it would traumatize her, but also it would change our relationship forever. I know my kids love languages, and I know that they will show me support in their own ways. Forcing someone to be supportive is cruel and doesn't mean anything. Hell I'd feel worse for doing it.
Idk, it's one thing saying what you would do but it's another to actually be in the trenches facing such an all-consuming disease. I'm not saying she was right for coercing the daughter to do something she didn't want to do, though. I think her intention was misguided, but not malicious. But this was while she's dealing with the disease and consequences of the treatment, so her headspace was probably not that centered. As much as the OP says she had a great survival rate, anyone will tell you the treatment is still draining, and chances of the cancer coming back increase due to the radiation from the chemo. Again, it doesn't make what the mother did okay, it just contextualizes what trauma she was dealing with and why maybe she didn't consider the hurt she was causing the daughter. But so long as the mother is able to look outside of her illness and apologizes to the daughter, I think they can move past this.
@@liswane I’m so upset no one is talking more on how the daughter feels in this scenario and trying to sit in this middle ground, trying not to appeal to a side more because of the mother’s situation and or even trying to use empathy as justification. No matter who you think is right or wrong in this scenario, the thing that will be most affected from the story is the daughter’s future headspace(?)/feelings. Just because a bad situation is happening to you or someone else it doesn’t excuse anything you/they do. As a child I “had to”(forced to) cut my hair off as well in solidarity to one of my close relatives recovery from a hair disease (not anything like cancer but they had to completely shave off their hair for it so everyone felt bad and wanted to do it). I definitely still hold a huge grudge against that relative irrationally and my parent rationally for that experience. Unfortunately I don’t get to talk about feelings with my very traditional asian family so i could never get closure from confrontation but I hope people know that traumatizing/stressful things that happen to children can and will be remembered. And even if it seems like the daughter is willing to move past things with the mother, it will most likely be to keep their relationship good. She is most definitely not obligated to move past things that happen in the past or forgive the mother. Also call me biased but if we were being really objective here.. we would not take in the cancer situation from the mother into the discussion because the issue was if the father was in the wrong for telling off his wife for doing something manipulative to their child. Period.
@@LawOfSlay I'm so sorry for what you went through. It sounds awful. I didn't discuss what the daughter's headspace could be because to me it's unquestionable that she was the victim, and she was definitely not ok with what she was coerced into doing. I just wanted to see the mother's side too because it's easy to say she's an a-hole and the dad and daughter should leave her, but the situation's more nuanced than saying she's just toxic and manipulative. And of course her cancer gets brought up because that's why she asked the daughter to cut her hair. Were she not sick with such a serious thing, we have no way of knowing if she would force her daughter to do something that drastic just to be "supportive". Just to reiterate, what the mother did was WRONG, I was trying to see her side and see if there's any hope for redemption and fixing that wrong. My hope is once she's cleared her headspace, the mother can make amends with the child and work towards building their trust again because as far as we know, this is a one time thing, and they can still work through it. But of course, if the mother simply expects them to ignore it and move on as if it was no big deal, then the OP should totally divorce her.
@@liswane As someone who was diagnosed with leukemia, aka blood cancer, I never rly understood the shaving your head in support. I get that not all people care for their hair as much as some others, but for me shaving my hair was an extremely traumatic and vulnerable moment. It was something I didn't want to do but had to. So imposing that on others felt sickening to me, as I'd almost be forcing other people to go through the same. There are many different ways to show your support, and if someone doesn't want to shave their head then that's totally fine. Admittedly, mom's headspace could not have been the best given many medications, chemo and radiation do alter your mood drastically. However, that does not justify her actions, it provides a reason, but not an excuse for essentially manipulating and guilt-tripping her daughter.
He sells his sponsorships with the devious mind of a sleazy cars salesman, but with the heart and spirit of a himbo. So essentially like Hades from Hercules lmao.
im watching this for the second time and I was genuinely wondering why i couldn't remember the end of that story. i fell for it twice, i felt so fucking dumb
I'm not surprised the daughter never considered that the girl they bullied likely missed out on all these events that she's now missing out on. Bullies are the least self-aware people. I'd say most bullies wouldn't even recognize that they are bullies.
I have faced racism and classism firsthand and know how traumatising it can be.... so Dylan going on a dad rant about the daughter that bullied honestly made my day......
Grew up in an abusive home. Can say with absolute certainty that the mother who forced her daughter to cut her hair is not just a one off. Abusive narcissists are never satisfied, and they definitely will use their suffering as a means of manipulating other people. My own mother told me about things that happened to her when she was young, and those things were terrible, but the fact remains she only did that to hurt me and spite my sister, whom she does not talk to anymore because she woudn't put up with the behaviour. Also the "if you don't do this I will hold against you" *TO A KID* is another major red flag. That's not just "I'm stressed and not coping well", that is "I see it as my right to hurt you if you fail to do as I say". Hiding behind your illness to force other people to feel better about your own insecurities, instead of seeking solace in your loved ones that such things don't matter, is THE number one behaviour of manipulation to an shocking degree. Especially when she's not in a life threatening condition.
I was kicked out of HS for being a bully and it was the most important wake up call/lesson of my life. Now being 26 I have never regretted a chapter in my life more than being a mean girl, no excuse ever and completely agree with those punishments given. I hope they change, its possible.
As someone who was bullied by the mean girl, I am very happy you were able to improve yourself. I only wish the girls who were mean to me went down a good path as well
@@justsomeone929 I can almost guarantee that it was one of two things: suffering in your own life that makes you lash out without ever really understanding why (you just become a hostile person by default) or an attempt to fit in with some really shitty people.
For the cancer one, I definitely understand what the mom must be going through, but if it were me I would think, "Well, hey, *I* don't want to shave my own head, so why would my 17 year old want to shave hers?" Like, why would you want to force someone to do something you're upset about being forced to do? It's a great gesture if the person *wants* to do it, but if not, you're just forcing people to be miserable with you, which is selfish.
Also for the bully- she deserved it. 🤷🏾♀️ Most of us 2020 graduates didn’t get a prom nor even a proper graduation and that was against our will. ( I had a “drive thru graduation”💀😂) Meanwhile, what sounds to be a senior girl bullied another girl out of school????? And was probably being racist??? She’s way too old to not know better.
The story with the mom and daughter makes me sad. It reads jealousy, insecurity, and narcissistic. “I don’t have hair, neither should you. None of us get to feel pretty.” Vibes. It’s insane that she manipulated her child and then said “ she wanted to!”
Agreed, the punishment for the bullying wasn't that harsh considering. Bullying isn't just a one time mistake, it has long lasting consequences on the victims. It affects their futur in a lot of ways: mental health, physical trauma, potential ptsd etc... it's like asking a child to construct themselves while drowning... no car for birthday and no dancing? Bouhou
Ya I didn’t go to my prom and I know I didn’t miss much. I didn’t get any of what this girl would’ve gotten if she’d gone to her prom. She need an ass whooping imo.
speaking as the kid who was bullied to the point of switching schools; youre completely right. bullying like that led me to attempt, it probably did her too which is so incredibly heartbreaking. the daughter has NO idea what shes done to that poor girl and will never understand the lifelong affects that stuff has. its deadly
@@jaeydnheeren Agreed bullying is not something that should be taken lightly. I was bullied as well so I totally understand what you're saying. I still have trauma
In case you didn’t know, Dylan, a “rainbow baby” is an actual term used to describe the baby you have after suffering from a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. So in that case the OP wasn’t being snarky, it’s an actual phrase people use.
@@claireneville1070 Gotcha. I feel less shocked and weird I'd never heard it then. It often takes a few years for me (31yo) to pick up the latest lingo.
The mother guilt-tripping her daughter to cut her hair is straight up narcissistic. You can't force people to show their support to you in only specific ways. If you are struggling you don't have to put others in that position in order to feel better about yourself. (Personally I feel like the mom was just jealous/envious because her daughter has hair and she doesn't).
right, that could just be the start to further dangerous manipulation on her part, the husband saying they dont even usually go on girl trips shows that she'll go out of her way to do something bad to her. parents should be incapable of being jealous of their children
Having gone through cancer and chemo and complete loss of my long curly hair 9 months ago this mom is an absolute AH BITCH!!! Seriously! What sort of response is that to emotionally blackmail a probably already fairly traumatised kid (scary time for a kid the thought of losing a parent/seeing someone you love go through such a tough time.) In all honesty if any of my friends or loved ones would have shaved their heads for me I’d probably of felt appreciative but super guilty.
So true. And it's even worse for the daughter because she's still a kid and will probably feel ugly and conscious now, not to mention the fact that she might get bullied at school. The mom is so wrong for manipulating her daughter like that. The dad should put his foot down and I honestly think the wife is the one who deserves to sleep on the couch for what she did. Having cancer doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want or be an asshole, especially to people who you supposedly care for.
No shit she was envious, she has cancer 🫥 if she had done stuff in the past similar to that, I would understand y'alls reaction. But this is just too far, y'all can't demon-call a woman you know nothing about from one incident shared online where she was in the wrong, I've seen this way too many times on the internet.
@@lemondrop7532 I never said she was a demon, just that her actions were narcissistic and that she was using her horrible situation to manipulate those around her. As an adult, she should know better than to act on her envious impulses; especially if she is projecting that onto a child, espeically if its HER CHILD.
I was not a "rainbow baby", but I had a very grim prognosis before and after birth. My family considered me a miracle, but that doesn't mean I should get away with shit and be an awful person. I'm in the situation where I am disabled from birth, but I'm treated like a human being, just like my sister who was born before me. I was disciplined when I should have been so I learned from my mistakes. "Miracle" or not, a child needs to learn actions have consequences; I want to be seen by my character, not by the trauma that surrounded me being born. This kid may just become an asshole because he doesn't even know the fact that actions have consequences. He probably is enjoying it, but also being put on this pedestal can just cause more issues in the long run.
Hey you and I have the same thing! I'm disabled and also everyone (the docs) said I may not last.. I'm an only child but my parents would NEVER spoil me. (Plus the fact that I grew up faster than my age due to reasons) I've always been humbled and raised by grandparents. Have I never acted like a brat? I did. But I had been given a kind talk and I never repeated that. Ever.
All of the Instagram pictures can be downloaded before deleting the account. I think bullying a girl to the point she changes schools is a drastic offense demanding drastic action. I can see letting her go to prom after going through the school year with those other punishments, particularly if she demonstrated genuine remorse and growth.
iirc social media sites like instagran usually gives about a month before actually deleting the account anyway, the bully could show her parents the deleteing page and then reactivate it later.
@@soandso5058i think you missed the key word here being “forcing”. no one is forcing parents to support their child, that’s what being a parent IS and if that’s not something they want then they shouldn’t become parents. same with friends. a friend supports another because they care about them and part of caring is supporting each other, no one is or should be FORCING their friends to support them either. that’s just what friends do.
@@soandso5058 I think the only time where being forced to support someone is actually necessary is if it for a human life that has no other way of surviving, could still be conditional too tho tbf but with a child you kinda gotta considering that that is a human life and they have no other way of surviving unless you get them adopted
As someone who has a sister with a bratty child, I kind of understand why the OP sounds a little condescending at times. When you have to deal with an unbehaved child at every family occassion and the mother doesn't take criticism very well, it can be pretty exhausting. I love my sister and niece, but it's still annoying when her child acts up every time we see each other, and she leaves when you tell her your honest opinion about some of her parenting techniques. Of course I have no idea if my situation is similar to the OP's, but I kind of get her.
Honestly at that point the only constructive thing to do is to learn how to speak to them in a way that doesn't put them on the defensive. Most of the times part of the problem is that criticizing their child and/or the way they act on it makes them feel like you're saying they're bad parents, so approaching the problem from a different angle can serve far better
Yeah, it would be frustrating, but like Dylan pointed out, it sounds like the OP hadn't brought it up before and got fed up at the party and blurted everything she'd been bottling up. I would've reacted just like the sister too if after years of acting like things are fine, my own sister started talking about my child like that. Yes, the sister shouldn't be so lenient with her child just because he's her miracle baby, but the OP should've had that conversation privately since it's a delicate subject after the sister's had many miscarriages, not just criticized her and complain about the kid in a party like that.
You are entitled to your opinion but it's the parents decision to decide how to parent their kids, and everybody else kinda needs to mind their own damn business. You are allowed to voice your opinions but don't be shocked when you're shut down ig
@@stuffwithsoph8264no if anything if their kid is acting up then their techniques aren’t working and then they should be open to new options, just bc you are the kids parent doesn’t mean everything u do is correct for ur kid, u should still be open if nothing is clearly working
The way the dad handled his daughter for bullying is ok in my book. She has 2 dances coming so he could allow her to pick one if he felt she was deserving. She is so lucky that the girl moved away and not unaliving herself.
I feel like if the girl unalived herself the bullies wouldn't care. Many times bullies are so deluded that they'll make any excuse they can to not feel the guilt of their actions and face the reality that they are a bad person. I can see a reality where if this happened, the girl would still only focus on being upset over missing a dance. If the daughter shows any "improvement", who's to say it isn't performative? She needs to feel actual remorse rather than making her goal to go to the dance and having her do things to earn that. I don't know what the best way to handle that situation would be, but if her focus is on how she's being punished and "woe is me" for getting the consequences of her actions rather than understanding what she did was wrong, then I don't see room for long-term improvement. Maybe having her speak with the parents of the bullied child or an authoritative figure or pointing out how much that other girl has lost out in terms of her social life (ex: likely not going to these dances) would be better. The fact that her focus is on the school dance shows makes me believe any "changes" are just to go to the school dance and can disappear afterwards.
I shaved my head in solidarity with my mom when she first underwent chemo but that was 100% my choice. I was the one to tell her that I would shave my head to support her. She asked me over and over if I was sure and reassured me that I didn’t have to if I wasn’t sure. (Especially since my hair was down to my waist) This was some I had thought of not long after we found out she had cancer so I was able to mentally prepare myself for the change. Plus, it felt great to donate 24” of my hair to go towards wigs for cancer patients. But no one should ever feel coerced or manipulated, especially with withheld love and affection, into making such a drastic change. This mom forcing this decision on her daughter is beyond the level of selfishness that could be forgiven to someone going through chemo.
The cancer mom is definitely the a*hole. My mother had cancer and I offered to shave my hair off with her and she said no because she hated being bald and didn't want to see me do it to myself, she loves my hair and couldn't stand to see me cut it. She thankfully made a full recovery and is now 8 years clear with beautiful long hair again, she to this day says losing her hair was one of the hardest parts.
My mom had 9 miscarriages, out of 11 pregnancies she only got my brother and me, My brother's birth wasn't easy but didn't have complications. Mine was a shit show from the start of the pregnancy, the doctors even told my mom that I probably wouldn't live and advised she abort me. Growing up neither of us was treated as "special" we never got preferential treatment. No matter how much of a "miracle" the baby is, they need to be able to grow up to be a functional member of society.
As a mom of 3 girls ages 27,24&15, I can say that mom is a horrific mom and person. No real mom would ask their child to suffer because they are suffering!!! Sounds like mom is jealous of her daughter and didn’t want her to have hair because the mom won’t. She’s horrible and I hope her daughter goes away for college and never comes home.
I’ve faced racism on an online platform, and I had to delete my Instagram account just so I could get through every day without having anxiety attacks. I still struggle with this sometimes because I was pushed to a corner to delete my account. For the reddit post, an apology from the daughter and all the bullies would help a lot but only when they mean it. Thank you Dylan for going into Dad Mode and addressing this issue
For the bullying story, I think the punishment was definitely called for, perhaps even more. I would figure out the timeline of how long they were being racist bullies, and that would be the timeframe for her punishment. No phone for the entire time, limited access to entertainment and friends, and a lengthy apology letter that she would have to read in front of the person and their parents that she bullied (that’s if they felt comfortable with it, I know some kids might not want to see the face of their bully again, I would tread the waters to see how they feel, but my daughter would still have to write it by hand and mail it). Even all this is not enough to erase the pain and possible ptsd for the bullied child, but if my child thinks she’s gonna get away with the bare minimum, she’s wrong.
I'd be SO embarrassed if my S.O proposed to me on someone else's wedding day. Like, we're here to celebrate THEIR wedding; how f**king lazy and tactless do you have to be to propose using OTHER people's hard work in getting the venue and decorations with THEIR money that you're now using to your advantage to propose to me??? I'd be so disappointed lmao.
With that said, I don't think the brother should have fired him but I definitely disagree with Dylan in that it's narcissistic to want your wedding celebration.... to be about YOUR wedding celebration. That's why you're having it in the first place???? Like, what's NOT clicking?
It only make sense if both couples are really close and the one proposing got prior permission from the couple getting married, like the clip Dylan showed with the bouquet “toss”. Even then I think it’s weird for people to do, but I can see how that can be a fun and memorable moment the couple would want to share with close friends. But that only works if the marrying couple is enthusiastically onboard!
See you get it--Months of planning, hundreds to thousands of dollars, all for the moment to go to someone else?? I'd be pissed as fuck!! And its kind of a lazy proposal ngl...what planning did you do, prepare an off-topic speech? With the video it was cute because it was already playing into the future weddings aspect of a current wedding, and the bride was in on it.
Story 1: think about it this way: He basically proposed at a venue that he didn't have to pay, where he didn't have to invite the people and it still would look "fancy" in the pics that were taken. All of this did NOT come out of his pocket. He didn't plan it, he didn't pay it but he damn sure as hell used it. Also that would've been okay if he f*cking ASKED them if they are okay with him proposing there.
@CassidyStarke maybe I'm wrong but I'd assume the brother was hired because he was the brother, not for how qualified he was. Nepotism hires don't get the same rights in my mind. If you mess up your relationship with them, you gst fired, because it was the relationship that got you hired on the first place.
That's what I'm saying. The firing was a bit much, I would have just made a speech that 'this was me and my partner's day, he did not ask us if this was okay and because you used our blood, sweat, tears, time and MONEY just so you can use all of our resources that we made for US, this is not yours and your partner's moment, you didn't ask if this was okay, you disrespected both me and my partner and if you don't apologize, in front of everyone, since you could have proposed at the wedding away from everyone and made it only about you two, then both of you would need to leave the wedding you wanted to use for personal gain, but didn't put any effort into making.' It's disrespectful and why have someone like that in your life, even if they're family.
They’re both wrong. Firing was a bit much, especially to not explain why. The brother was also wrong for proposing at someone else’s wedding-which is a commonly known wedding faux pas…if he had asked them if he could propose that would be one thing, but I’m pretty sure if he had even asked a friend if it was a “good idea” they would have told him no.
The manipulation of the 17 year old to buzz her long hair she really cared about because her mum wanted to have an instagrammable moment of 'my daughter really supports me' makes me feel ill. YTA, illness does not give you a free pass to coercive behaviour!
I think that restorative actions to "earn back" prom are better for her being open enough to learning out of her mistakes than just flat out punishing her
Weddings are SO expensive sometimes. I don't think it was wrong of OP to feel frustrated. OP pays all this money for a special day about him and his wife and someone took advantage of that. I don't think it's self-centred or narcissistic to be upset that he was upstaged for a moment on his special day that he likely spent a lot of money on. I don't think it was right to fire him. However, you could argue play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Guy must have known it was wrong and it's a bad idea to piss off your boss like that.
The worst thing is that the brother probably thought he is finally getting his life together, will have a stable in come so now he can propose to his girlfriend. And than bam, without even a discussion, he is left jobless. And to those saying the wedding was upstaged or ruined, no one will ever say "hey remember that day his brother proposed to his gf". No, it will always stay their beautiful wedding day which was made even more special with the proposal.
@@ArchangelShine huh so there's a silent majority in western world too, who feel getting upstaged isnt the end of the world...interesting indeed! I thought it was super weird how announcements in weddings(proposal/pregnency)are viewed in a negative light or the stuff about ugly bridesmaid dresses and how people praise if the bride "allows" good bridesmaid fits. I put these in thoughts in "don't understand cuz different culture" box. Maybe we are more alike than I thought
@@lemon4087 tbh I'm from the Balkans and while there ARE people who go all out for their weddings (not hundreds of thousand, but a couple thousan dollars sure), for majority it's just a huge party for all guests. I understand different cultures, like you said, but it is still unbelievable someone would put sooo much money and effort into a single day. I dont think it's so much a cultural thing as it is commercialism and movie influence etc.
@@naruchancutie1Using the play stupid games win stupid prizes can apply just as well to OP though if his brother sees the post and sues him for it lol. Let's stop enabling people making excuses for their unprofessional and shitty behavior when they LITERALLY probably ruined a person's livelihood. I'd get it if the brother was actually antagonistic and unapologetic when confronted but with the info we have, you can argue that he's just ignorant.
For the first story, OP is allowed to be frustrated-proposing at another person’s wedding is a huge faux-pas. But I don’t think taking away his employment and source of income is an appropriate or equal response.
Exactly, an appropriate response would be not invading him to a party or something, not make a decision that literally will impact him in all aspects of his life, that's so extreme for not wanting to share the spotlight
From the last story, I don't think OP was being as condescending as you thought Dylan; rainbow baby is a term used to refer to healthy babies born after a mother has suffered several miscarriages.
This!! I was going to comment this bc I have a rainbow cousin so it's not as condescending at that point. I'm guessing "my little rainbow miracle" is something the sister has said + that's why OP said that specifically or something
This is definitely an American thing. My mother has never called me that nor have I ever heard of it lmao. I would be mortified if anyone called me that tbh.
My mother forced me to cut all my hair off at 13 from touching my butt to a pixie cut so I’d look more like her and it traumatized me for years. I’m nearly 30 and I still have a weird relationship with my hair. I hope that daughter is able to heal from that trauma and her mother’s manipulation.
with the daughter shaving her head, there is also the added component of her being in high school, and while someone's haircut is no reason to bully someone, it certainly does still happen. and if its a change that she's not confident in, that would only make things even more emotionally stressful.
In the shaving head scenario, the daughter is not in any physical danger, but she's definitely in danger of getting emotional trauma from this. I went through a very similar situation with my dad. When people go through traumatizing things they do react weirdly, but that is never ever an excuse to do that to your child. From my experience, when parents think they can get their children to do anything they want, they have some sense of "ownership" over that child. When you realize these people are toxic they explode your life. I hope this situation doesn't escalate and gets better once her cancer is treated, but this could just be showing a deep rooted problem the mother needs to work on. But of course, I would need more context and I definitely am projecting from my life lol.
Doesn't sound like a projection on your part tbh. It's very, VERY emotionally manipulative to tell your own child, still underage, that you'll *never forgive them* if they don't agree to do something with their body against their will for the sake of a little bit of your own comfort, while gaslighting them into thinking you are giving them a choice- illness be damned. First of all, it teaches a bad message- that others have some sort of ownership over your body and that you have to use it to placate them, lest they stop loving you. Just... yikes, such harmful parenting. Second off- while the mother is going through the most stress in this situation as the one afflicted- she's sure as hell not the only one suffering due to her illness. Having a severely ill parent as a child is an extremely stressful and traumatizing thing to experience, even when said parent doesn't coerce then gaslight them just to make themselves feel better- let alone when they do. If you are a parent- yes, even one that is ill- you can't *not* consider that and if you don't, it probably says things about you. Anyone can be a good parent when things are easy. I can totally see why OP is reconsidering his entire marriage lol. I just hope the daughter doesn't guilt-trip herself for the inevitable dent this will make on their relationship and that once in a better place, the mother will acknowledge she fucked up and try to make up for it.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 "If you are a parent- yes, even one that is ill- you can't not consider that and if you don't, it probably says things about you. Anyone can be a good parent when things are easy." I was going to say that ! It's easy to be decent or even a "good person" when everything is going well. But I am one to think, that you see people's true colors, only in difficult situations. If someone's response to a dangerous or painfull, scary... situation is really bad, like this one... That's not harmless, and I believe the problem is more important than just her being scared or hurt. Because there is no way this girl is not already affected by what her mom is going through. And even in sickness, her mom should want to protect her daughter. As scary and tough things are, she should not think only about herself. Forcing someone like that is wrong, there is multiple ways to show support in that or any situation. But it's even worse that she did it to her own child.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 I mean, without context, yes it's a very manipulative thing for the mother to say "do this thing you don't want to do or i'll never forgive you". However, the mother was probably in a bad headspace from the chemo, and even if she was told she has a 100% survival rate, cancer can come back so it's not like it's a done deal after treatment. In fact, your chances of getting cancer again increase because of the radiation from treatment. I think people dealing with an illness as serious as cancer, regardless of their survival rate, get to be a little irrational when they're going through it. While it's definitely a conversation they should have, and the mother should reflect on how wrong it was to coerce her daughter into chopping her hair off in solidarity, I don't think it was the worst thing ever, or done with malicious intent to hurt the child. Hair grows, and so do people, so I'd like to believe the mother will see that she was in the wrong here. Whether it warrants getting a divorce is up to them to end it over this or not, but I don't think what she did was unforgivable given the context. As long as they have a serious conversation and the mother doesn't try to manipulate the daughter like that again, I could see them work through it.
@@liswane Oh, I don't think it's straight up "unforgivable". But here's the thing- regardless of what the circumstances or intentions were, this mother did something abusive to her already stressed/traumatized daughter during a still formative age that will affect her and their relationship for some time. I think it's totally possible for them to fix this, but it will depend entirely on how the mother handles it from here. I hope she makes amends; maybe she will, maybe she won't- but we can't know that, so we're kinda stuck with discussing what happened, rather than what will happen.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 Yeah, overall what the mother did wasn't a simple mistake, so I hope they go to some family therapy to work through it. They probably should've gone already after the mother was diagnosed and the illness affected the whole family, and now they definitely have to go to deal with this.
The difference between the scenario described in the Reddit post and the video of that bride handing her bouquet to her friend, is that the couple getting married in the video were in on it. It was planned in accordance with the couple. You know, the two people everyone was there to celebrate. I also don't think it's narcissism, as you put it. I actually think it's more narcissistic to go to an event celebrating a couple or an individual and taking the time to make it about you, without consulting the people who planned and paid for the event in the first place. It's so undignified.
I think for the bullying one that is definitely a fair punishment, because like Dylan said, imagine how terrible that girl felt and on top of that she's also having to start at a new school for senior year, so she probably won't even be able to enjoy senior prom or homecoming to the fullest anyways since she doesn't know that many people. I also like the idea of earning your privileges back.
Right? All the mental and emotional toll that girl took. The bully thinking it's too harsh not getting to go to a dance further shows how instead of dancing, she needs to spend that time to reflect on how she harmed that girl to the point she had to switch schools.
i hope the parents for that make sure they keep an eye on the daughter, she got a lot taken from her in very little time i'm scared she might lash out and hatecrime the girl she bullied LMAOO ('lmao' but in a concerned way)
Although I was not a rainbow baby, my odds of surviving beyond 3 years-old were slim - we're talking 80% not in favour - and yet my mother raised me to respect others, and not be a spoiled or "special" child, and I thank her so much for that 🙏
Cancer might be hard, yes. But it's not an excuse to potentially cause new trauma to your child...?? what about being harassed at school for it? or suffering from the actual emotional ultimatum her mother let down on her? As if your mother having cancer wasn't enough in itself.... and I'm guessing it's not the only manipulative behaviour she had towards her daughter, what is wrong with those people
@@_m1ca0 it's not just hair, otherwise we'd all be bald. I'm pretty certain the kid will cry about this and that it will impact her confidence tremendously.
i think assuming it's a pattern is unreasonable. anyone going through something that horrible could spiral, maybe she'll regret it and apologise when she gets better. and her cancer must be hard on the daughter, but when someone you love is sick you don't process that as trauma you're going through, you worry about the person you love having a hard time. she didn't have to shave her head, but i'm sure she'll eventually be forgiving of why her mum would act like that in such a bad situation
I actually do think that it is abusive for the mother to have pressured her daughter into shaving her head. 17 is a very sensitive age. You have so many milestones that you hit at that age. Prom is close, graduation, senior year, college is starting soon. It will be HARD for her to do those things with a shaved head especially if she isn’t feeling confident in herself. It takes years to grow hair back and it is very personal to each person, especially at such a young age. Now all of her pictures of this time will be of her looking like she doesn’t want to. It’s hard enough to be a young woman, but an involuntarily shaved young woman? She’s really made a terrible situation for her daughter because she wasn’t feeling secure. It’s not right and she took a lot away from her by pushing her to do that. It’s cruel and selfish and it would be hard for me to forgive my mother if she did that to me. Losing hair is very traumatic as the mother should know, and to force her daughter to go through similar trauma to make her feel more “loved” is very telling of her character.
As someone with long hair who takes pride in my hair and puts extreme effort into caring for it, I can honestly say that if my mother wanted me to shave my head for her I'd flat out refuse before she'd even be able to finish her sentence. She's already asked me before if I'd ever shave my head if she found out she had cancer and I've told her multiple times that I wouldn't. I wouldn't even shave my own head if I had cancer, cuz while the treatment can cause hair loss that doesn't mean it always does and I would rather have patchy hair than no hair at all. And while we're on the topic, I'd never ask someone to shave their heads for me to feel "solidarity" and if anyone did, I wouldn't feel touched, I'd feel annoyed that someone, stranger or not, felt they had to shave themselves for my sake. No weirdos I don't need your 15 minutes of sympathy, what I'd need and the only thing I'd want at that point is a fu¢king cure!
Response to story #5- My aunt completely spoils both my cousins (one is male, the other is female), but especially favors her son. For example, when he was in high school, he and his friends stole a teacher's credit card and bought pizza with it. He was kicked out of school, but never received any punishment from his parents besides "a stern talking to. " (I know this because my mother filled me in.) He is constantly disrespecting adults (including family members) and my aunt does nothing to intervene. Now he is 22 with no clear goal in mind except to live off his parents. My aunt is always complaining about how he acts and comparing him to me and my siblings' lives. The writer of the story might find it annoying to deal with her nephew now but, at the end of the day, it's her sister who will have to deal with the positive and negative consequences of her parenting. There's nothing you can do when it comes to other people's choices. All you can do is offer advice (if asked) and observe. Trust me. My mother has been doing it for years.
The “I’ll never forgive you if you don’t shave your head in solidarity” comes off as emotional blackmail, especially because of the cancer aspect. However, I definitely think it can be worked on as long as the mum is made to understand how wrong what she did was. It would probably be easier for her to understand how not okay it was if the daughter explained to the mum how that made her feel.
Every time Dylan starts a video and you notice he doesn't have his nose piercing in, you know there's just gonna be a random point in the video where he has a mild heart attack and then turns 20 again lmao
If I were the parents of the daughter who was doing the racist bullying, I'd make her give every free weekend she had to me to earn back her prom and homecoming privileges. I'd take her to go volunteer every weekend in soup kitchens and other charity groups. Since she spent all that time bullying, she can spend time giving back to our community. I would also try to reach out to the girl who was bullied parents and ask if my daughter could write them a letter each week about what she has been learning while meeting people of all races who are in need of our help and why being racist and bullying is never okay. Just a thought.
That's beautiful and sensible. Especially the letter. And at the end if she does earn her privileges she could write one last letter apologizing. So when she/he finally Apologizes it won't be an empty one. It would have depth and value.
This is a really good advice for the parents. It is a punishment but also a way to make her open her eyes to other people's problems and be more empathetic
It sucks that doing something good has to be considered a punishment. It’s not fun, but giving back is gratifying. Helping the less fortunate is definitely a great teaching tool, and writing letters is a great way to help her reflect on her choices
The letter idea is really sweet but I'm not sure it's fair to the bullied girl. It was so bad she decided to switch schools and now she would have to hear from that girl? If I were her parents I'd tell them to scram 😭
@user-st6jx6ud4q That is why I'd ask the parents what they thought first. If they agreed to it, then we would send them. If not, no big deal. She would write the letters and present them each week to our family. It still will show us whether or not she is growing as time passes.
18:05-18:06 THE SHADE, Dylan and Joe really brought in that UA-camr when Dylan talked about "apologizing for growth" and not just apologizing to smooth things over 🤣
The only time proposing is okay at someone else's wedding is if both parties agreed to it. No such agreement was made in story 1 and the fact the brother is not at all apologetic and how the parents enable it I genuinely don't think this was the first time the brother has pulled something like that.
I think the parent of the girl who bullied is doing a great job. This feels like a punishment that really might make a difference in the way she acts in the future. It seems like the parents are also really concerned and take their daughters behaviour serious, which is great. I do hope they also talk to their daughter and find out a bit more about her reasons and this friend group she has to make sure this kinda thing doesn't happen again.
for the abby baby miracle thing - rainbow baby is an actual term for a baby after a miscarriage. i work with a child who was in hospital for a lot of their life and is the exact same, they can’t share or play with others, they can’t accept things that aren’t their way. it’s always the parents fault
My mother had cancer and a year ago she too had to shave her head. I know it was hard for her, as she always had long, thick hair. She did not ask me to shave my head with her and I did not offer. Hair has been an important aspect of my physicality and it grows incredibly slowly. Instead, I found ways of helping her feel beautiful and found videos that showed her how she could work with her hair as it grows back. We have all been very supportive and have gushed overhear now, short, cute hair style, and all without any of us shaving our heads, too. I get that people with cancer are in a vulnerable space, but forcing your teenaged daughter into an unfair situation like that is just manipulative. I am right there with you, Dylan.
Can I just say that's gotta be the best editing I've ever seen (both in a Dylan video, and generally). So funny, so creative and original. Like dude... Wow.
Kinda creepy how the mom wanted the daughter to shave her head in solidarity. 1) None of her friends/siblings were willing to do that? That seems like something the close adults of the family would rally around so if none of them thought to do that, what does that say the type of person the mom is? 2) Seems like a jealousy/envy thing. If I have to shave my head and go through the process of growing it back, so do you because you can't have prettier hair than me and I own you. 3) "I'll never forgive you" ?????? That's manipulative AF! I'd be on Dylan's side if the mom had an honest and respectful conversation with her daughter and that was what convinced her. But the do it or else tactic, I can't get behind
@@JamieRoseLincoln yeah, the dad mentioned that she takes care with her hair, so the mom was probably hyper envious that her daughter had hair and it was better than hers. What a foul woman.
Literally makes me think of the evil stepmother in Snow White. Also, there's a difference between having a loved one shave their head to support you and you asking them to suffer with you.
Re: cancer mom Cancer sucks, I have no doubt. And also…mom shouldn’t be saying “I’ll never forgive you” at all. Just the one instance doesn’t an abusive parent make, but if it’s part of a larger pattern that is cause for concern. I can appreciate Dad’s response because he’s trying to protect his kid, and that needs to be a larger conversation too. That shit can get really messy really fast. And no matter what age you are, it’s really hard to get over hearing a parent blatantly tell you their unconditional parental love now has a caveat.
Also, while a pattern of behavior can make someone abusive, a single action that is out of character can still count as abuse, even if there's no pattern. Like a parent beating their kid only once still abused them that one time, whether or not they were abusive in the sense that there was a pattern. I think it's important to acknowledge that the act is still abusive, for people reading the comments. I hope the daughter is doing okay.
For the brother proposal post, I definitely think they should've known or planned ahead of time if the novice plumber brother wanted to propose at the wedding, because otherwise, that is pretty disrespectful to just spring it on everybody with no prior warning. On the other hand though, the newly married brother did overreact by firing his brother just because of that, and Dylan's right, I'm pretty sure it is illegal (or at least morally wrong) to fire someone without having a viable reason why they can't continue to do their job
It actually is legal in most states to fire someone for any reason that is not discriminatory. Most states are at-will in the USA.Also a lot of protections against firing people depend how many employees are employed at a company. Small company usually equals less employee protections.
Dylan's comments on bullying made me feel so validated. I had the worst acne in my school (just an objective fact), and I was bullied for it, obviously. My situation wasn't even the worst, since I had friends who would sometimes stand up for me (if they were around, and the boys didn't look too intimidating), and the bullying only got physical once (but I fought back and became a bit of a local hero for it, good memories if not a bit terrifying). Still, I can feel how that seemingly mild bullying (in comparison to other horror stories I read about) left an indelible mark on my psyche. I suffer from social anxiety, I am hyper vigilant to the point where I cannot sit with my back exposed without feeling intense discomfort, and I always expect the worst of people when I meet them (and am always genuinely surprised when they treat me nicely). I'm also scared of being in the light for the fear that my acne become too visible (even though I have none left, just some scars). Bullying is a horrible, horrible thing, and I just want to hug that girl and make it all go away, but... But all we can do is heal and persevere at this point. The damage may never be completely undone, but life is still worth living.
Its not "support" if you have to emotionally blackmail and coerce someone already under your custody to get them to do it....i have so many words for that "mother"
Maybe not some random guest who decided to pop the question, but your own brother who you hired? and then fired him for doing it? Idk... Like, I get it can be frustrating if they don't warn the couple who's celebrating their wedding, but if it's your brother, why would that make you angry? If anything, it should add to the joy of the day because it's more good news for everyone.
I think if you're planning on proposing at someone else's wedding, you should always ask first. Some people are okay with it, some people wouldn't be. At the end of the day, it is THEIR special day and you wouldn't want to take away from that in any way.
@liswane It's just rude and inconsiderate even if you're family. It's like how people don't like sharing birthdays, but 100% more important. Especially since weddings usually cost thousands and the years or so of planning down the drain, if you propose at a wedding your the ah.
@@liswane i dont care if its my brother, yes firing him for that was extreme but i wouldnt let that go. its like birthday, you wouldnt want to have someone steal the spotlight on your birthday, but like you have it every year while weddings - probably not. its a special day for the couple so dont propose until they agreed to it cause you're basically destroying what they wanted to be a perfect day they spent money and effort on. the brother was selfish for that, he could've proposed literally even a day later with just his gf on like a cute date, yet he chose to do it when the wedding was happening. asshole definitely (but yeah, i would let him know im upset in different ways rather than making him lose his source of income)
13:37 actually my mom had cancer. She fought it for 5 years and she died 4 years ago at the age of 55. We shaved her hair off at home and actually had a lot of fun, making jokes, trying to put up a green Mohawk before shaving it because “she was curious to see what it would look like and never dared to do anything like that when she was younger” etc. But one thing she said and always stuck to, was that she thought it was a stupid choice for people to shave off their hair to show support for others with cancer, and that if we had done something like that she would be really sad about it actually and she would have felt guilty for it. Another thing I got from the whole experience was to dare experiment with my hair while I still got it. You wanna try a crazy color? Just do it! You wanna try a weird or crazy or unusual haircut? Just do it! It’s hair. It’s changeable. It’s growable. If you fuck it up it can always be changed again or grown again etc. so never be afraid to do what you want with your own hair, no matter what others might think or say about it. It’s yours. And some day, like my mom, you might lose your hair and regret not daring to try that thing you always wanted. For my mom it was that green Mohawk. And we gave it to her even if it was just for two minutes before shaving it all off. Sorry for the rant but I just got sad by that post and that she forced a 17 year old kid to shave her head.
@@dim2118 thank you ❤️ And yes, she was. Every time she was in pain and felt shit from chemotherapy and all that, she could start crying because she was thinking of all small children with cancer who has to go through that and how hard it must be for them. She was thinking about others in that way. She was dying but instead of crying for herself, she was thinking of all those small kids who are too young to understand but has to suffer anyway. Her two last weeks, she was in hospital. Couldn’t move and was just in immense pain. My dad sat and slept on a chair beside her, holding her hand for those two weeks, only getting up to go to the bathroom. The nurses served him food and coffee and he never left her side. She died holding his hand.
Here’s the thing, cutting someone’s hair without their consent is considered assault. Hair can be really really important to a person and their identity and it’s not fair to expect them to just disregard that because you’re going through a trauma. The fact that this 17 year old CHILD was emotionally manipulated into cutting her hair is just so sad to me. Like, she could be in her senior year thinking ab the fact that she’s gonna walk across the stage with a pixie cut instead of her long beautiful hair that she probably spent all of high school growing out.
s1: I love the "give bouquet to friend" idea so so much and I'd love to do this at my own wedding. HOWEVER this has to be cleared in advance with the bride(s) and groom(s) because otherwise it IS attention-grabbing and tacky. Ask in advance and then have the bride "throw" the bouquet and it becomes clear that the pair wants to share their joy with their friends. If I were a guest at a wedding and someone proposed without having it cleared with the wedding couple, I'd die of second-hand embarrassement.
The cancer/hair story is giving major jealous of her daughter's beauty vibes. So sad that she subjected her own daughter to that kind of manipulation. heart breaking that the mother didn't have the strength to keep her own weaknesses from hurting her only daughter.
9:45 as somebody with a mom who also had cancer when I was a younger teen girl, this story is CRAZY, the last concern my mom had was losing her hair and while I understand that ppl cope differently, the mom literally manipulating her daughter into doing something she didn't wanna do sounds insane, I get why OP is reconsidering their relationship
The thing about the story which begins at approximately 6:44 is that: yes, both people in a marriage need to pull around the same weight but - I'm pretty sure this man never did. If he does not do the dishes or clean the house or take care of his kids while he's unemployed, I'm 9999999% sure he never did when he was working. And from the info we get, I'm sensing the wife has always had to do all this by herself while working too.
For the first story I wouldn't have said "not the A-hole" I would have chose "everyone s*cks" ! Because it's always wrong to propose at someone else's wedding, if you don't have the blessing of the couple getting married. BUT firing him for that is wrong too. It has nothing to do with his work or the quality of his work. Both are wrong in their own way, and acting like A-hole. I don't think Dylan is seeing the big picture here. Yeah some people want their wedding to be 'all about them' to an extreme. And that's unhealthy and so on. But there is a difference between wanting that, and not wanting someone to propose on a day that is supposed to be an expression of the love in YOUR relationship. I'm not one to believe in mariage and I don't want to be married. But I can understand people wanting to do it, and some of the reasons behind it. And I also can understand, that there are A LOT of other days someone could chose to propose to someone, that doesn't involve making it about themselves at an event that was not about them and probably meant a lot to those concerned. It's not a problem to propose (like in the tik tok reffered by Dylan, or like at my sister's wedding were her brother in law proposed to his girlfriend after asking for permission to do so, to my sister and brother in law) if you have the blessing. But if you don't... that's a d*ck move !
exactly this. if my sibling, best friend, etc were to propose during my wedding i wouldnt let it ruin the entire day, but i would be like oh thats weird, but mostly hurt that they didnt run it by me and thought to use my event without asking me, i feel like that is disrespectful and i cannot imagine my sibling planning to propose and not telling me. that isnt our relationship so to be blind sighted like that would suck a lot. if it was pre-approved, totally okay, although i wouldnt want to get proposed to at someones wedding. i think it is also another element of the brother working for OP. i work for my parents company, and working for family can be tough at times and navigating personal vs. professional feelings can be really difficult. I can totally see OP also feeling like he put all this trust into his brother to have him work at his company and couldnt even talk to him about the proposal. however, firing the day after was kind of an asshole thing. there needed to be a conversation about what happened and then wait like idk at least a week to let feelings settle and come up with a plan. in theory i do think the brother would have grounds to sue for firing without a cause. its also like your brother, i feel like they have a close enough relationship if they work together that it would suck to completely ruin that. the brother definitely sucked for proposing without asking, and OP sucked for firing him but they both need to sort it out and put it in the past before they completely ruin their relationship
When the commentator was saying "get your daughter to safety", I don't exactly think that they were talking about physical safety. You can still live in a place that feels unsafe even if the bad person in question has never physically assaulted you. Emotional and mental safety is just as important as the rest, and if this mother is a master manipulator like she is described to be, she could easily put her daughter in emotional or even physical danger in the future. Forcing someone to change something about their body and saying "I'll hate you forever" if they refuse is the definition of emotional ab*se, so I definitely agree that the daughter needs to get out of that environment.
For the last story, one of my cousins turned out like that. My aunt is 50+, went through divorce, a lot of trauma for her part, so she couldn't bring herself to say "no" to her child. This girl gets literally *everything* her way, from fast food at 4 am from KFC's to her old broken toys never getting thrown out. So well... we're expecting another master plumber in a few years 😬
Yeah I have a cousin like that too. Her parents are better at parenting her now, but they weren’t when she was young. She used to bite, scratch, and throw things at me and, if I didn’t let her, her parents got mad at me. It was really frustrating. I understand that they wanted a child for a very long time, but now that they have a child, they should… y’know… parent her.
@@stingrae919 right? Like it's okay to love a child that came after loads of trouble, but you can't raise an asshole for that. What you said, I used to hear stuff from my parents because I talked about my cousin, but they had to admit she was definitely a spoiled brat.
I have a cousin like that as well. Same kind of situation, but my cousin hits and yells at people, screams and cries when someone, even his mother, politely tells him to clean something up or put his toys away, and it’s ridiculous. He only learnt the words “thank you” from outside sources, and other polite phrases from school. It’s not my aunt’s fault she feels the way she does, but her son is her responsibility and she isn’t thinking about how he’ll act as he ages and becomes more entitled due to her lack of consequences. If he hits someone, which he has done many times to family and even my elderly grandfather, she apologises for him. If he’s hitting someone with a toy, she’ll occasionally try to remove it from him, but if he cries she folds and lets him keep it and leaves the person being hit to deal with him themself. It’s not fair to anyone around her, including family, because now I don’t want to see either of them because of this repeated behaviour and I feel guilty for it! It sucks, I get the original story completely
@@jay_6732 My hot take is that letting a child do whatever isn't being loving. Being loving is making sure they develop into their best self, and they're not going to do that if they are not taught to behave properly. Honestly, the child being the result of great difficulty is even more reason to make sure you do the job right. They may not get another opportunity to raise a kid, and they're taking their baby for granted.
@@Lotan_ someone gets it! And at the same time, if a child is unnecessarily "polite" as in never does anything mischievous, that is also alarming, it's just some things that crosses the limits, but every kid should do some harmless things during their childhood. A child doesn't understand the concept of rules, they learn that while growing up, and that's how it should go :)
I think you can support your mom, dad, or someone battling cancer or an illness by just being there for them. Yes, shaving your head because they are losing their hair is an excellent way to support them, but my mom had cancer last year and she lost all her hair, however, I would NEVER shave my hair just to support her, because I struggle with mental issues and shaving would have killed me. I was there with her on her chemo, radio, and all her doctors' appointments, and now she is cancer free and her hair grew so beautifully and I'm so happy for her.
the issue with the first story is that the brother didn't ask. the video of the tiktok you showed, the bride and groom were obviously in on it and were okay with it. if the brother had asked, it might have been different. to fire him is a little extreme, but i totally understand the frustration with the brother for blindsiding them like that.
Isn't it a tad dramatic to call it blindsiding though? Yeah, the brother could've chosen any day yet he did it at OP's wedding, but the proposal takes what, like 10 minutes away from their entire day? Plus, after the wedding day, everyone still congratulates the couple every time they see them for days. I think OP was a little insane for treating his own brother as if he was some stranger causing a scene and firing him over proposing. For sure it's always better to ask beforehand, but even without asking, it doesn't warrant getting this angry over something so harmless as your brother proposing on your wedding day.
It's not only extreme, it may be illegal, depending on where they live. I personally hope the brother who got fired can sue for wrongful termination, tbh.
@@liswaneI would argue that is absolutely a blindside. To pull something like that shows that the brother didn’t consider how it would make the bride and groom feel. Some people wouldn’t care and I bet most would hate the fact that they did it. It’s THEIR wedding/celebration. They went through the stress of planning it and paying for it. Sure would leave a bitter taste for me. To each their own. Should’ve at least asked. Nonetheless, Him getting fired for it was absolutely illegal for sure
He defo shouldn’t have fired his brother but I hate that people act like this isn’t a big deal. Like yes it’s my wedding it’s me and my spouses day don’t propose at my dang wedding…like put some effort into creating your own beautiful proposal?
@@blessingebonguko5585exactly. The brother is opportunistic because he saw a situation where he can propose with no extra effort on his part because everything was already set-up at the bride and groom’s expense.
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is definitely a no-no, especially without permission AND during the speeches!! He was probably a nepotism hire too, so it’s not like he climbed his way to the top after years and years. OP, at the very least, owed him an explanation though.
As somebody who has a crazy manipulative mother, that mother who had her daughter shave her head was insane. No she isn’t in DANGER, physically, but emotionally this girl is going through abuse.
I would consider emotional abuse a form
of danger due to the possible life-long consequences but definitely not physical danger.
Definitely, I also had a very manipulative mother and she used similar language to make me do something. It's definitely abuse and it stays with you your whole life.
Exactly!! If someone wants to shave their head in support if I get cancer then I will be so grateful, but it’s a drastic change to your appearance, and most people aren’t able to cope with the looks they would get if they did that, let alone a teenage girl in high school. Teenagers are so mean and cruel and to force your daughter to shave her head is a one way ticket to her being ostracised by her peers and her resenting you for it :((
no exactly, that’s crazy manipulative to do the whole “this consequence is insufferable, but you know it’s your choice🤷♀️”
Yup. I’m going through this, but with an aunt. Crazy manipulative and abusive, and now that she has cancer she takes it as a free card to be even worse. It is such a difficult situation. It is absolutely NOT ok even though the mom has cancer. Imagine saying to your daughter you will never forgive her
The mum coercing her child into shaving her head is absolutely wild, definitely a touch of narcissism there.
I do empathize with her situation but she has a 100% survival rate. She's not dying. Kinda shocks me that she'd go to the extent of manipulation with her own daughter. A teenager. People truly shock me sometimes.
@dhairiyasundar1285 yes but the chemotherapy really plays with their emotions and they become more sensitive and more angry. Just bcz the doc says oh don't worry ull survive doesn't mean u magically gonna be fine. It takes a toll
She is Jealous of her kid. Plain and simple
@@saraelgoumi8111who cares if its hard? If its hard you dont make it hard for people around
That’s what I was thinking.
The fact that the mum said that loosing her hair was one of the hardest parts of her experience and then wanted her daughter to go through that as well as her. She knows how it feels and her 17y/o daughter has to deal with other 17y/os judging her appearance and stuff she’s in her social peak, so it’ll be worse for her. I understand not wanting to feel alone when you’re suffering - but there are other ways to feel supported.
yes, to me it feels like the mom watched too many of the videos/read to many stories where the families do that - and she wanted the same thing. imo - it's a very superficial support - and would rather have beautiful (and with hair) people around me, that would help me get to the doctor, let me cry or forget about the situation. what good does the haircut/buzz do? I see no point other than showing off to random people or neighbours
Btw i remember that the daughter wasnt hers biologically, but still not clear for how long were they a family for
Losing* but I agree
My mom had cancer and NOT ONCE asked her 3 daughters' to shave their heads in solidarity...That woman is so selfish, almost narcissistic
yep!! she only asked her daughter and not her husband ?? interesting
I work at an infertility clinic and a "rainbow baby" is what we call one that was born after the mother experienced miscarriage, and although someone experiencing infertility might see that baby as a miracle and want to treat the child some special way, I do agree that all kids should be taught how to behave socially regardless
My mom had 3 miscarriages before she had me at age 42. She had one of my sisters at age 36, after 2 miscarriages as well. And she never treated us differently or with more love than our eldest sister. I didn't even know I was a rainbow baby until I was like 16 I think
it seems like he acts like fkn idiot just to get comments on his videos
I heard about the bullying one on Instagram and I still agree with the parents. Bullying is traumatizing and racism on top of that is insane .
I was in the exact situation, the only difference is I was also physically assaulted. It was so bad I was taken out of school and was homeschooled for a year. I still have ptsd from the assault. I really appreciated Dylan's perspective, and you as well.
@@kiomaelouch7192 The issue is, punishment doesn't work. If the girl gets time to better herself for prom.. well, she's doing it for prom and not because she magically grew a spine and wants to better herself. The parents should have serious talks with her, maybe do family or individual counselling to work on the root cause of the bullying. Maybe it was poor self esteem and she did follow a bad influence but maybe she was the one leading the bullying. The motif and everything needs to be sorted out. Punishment will only lead to her hiding her wrongdoings better in the future and it doesn't do shit for the victim(s).
The issue is, retaliation and punishment for bullying don't make a better person, but someone angrier, more closed off and more likely to harm themselves or others in the future.
I agree that senior prom is a once in a lifetime opportunity, though. Especially if she has a boyfriend/date. For the Instagram pictures, just screenshot the pictures and boom problem solved! She now has the pictures back on her phone.
@@Shirumoonare you the girl that was being a racist bully? What do you mean punishments are useless? If she never learns there are consequences to her actions I dread what kind of person she’ll grow up to be.
I definitely think it’s rude to propose to someone at someone else’s wedding, but not a reason to literally FIRE someone
Yeah that's really shitty to fire somebody over but I also understand where they're coming from.
Honestly, call me an a-hole but it is definitely not okay to propose on someone else's wedding without taking their permission. Just because one person on the internet is okay with it doesn't mean, everyone wants to share their day like that and that's okay. Calling them a narcissist is way too judgemental.
And maybe firing his brother was a little bit rash, but he is still the business owner, he is allowed to do whatever he wants.
Plus his brother literally proposed during the best man toast. Typically the best man toast is used to talk about the bride and groom, how they met or crack jokes about them, instead the brother made it all about himself.
If he wanted to propose why not at least propose at the dance floor, instead of during the middle of the speeches?
Yeah, a better response would have been to play the long game, and announce pregnancy at the brothers wedding lol
I think it’s a touchy subject. Some people mind and some people don’t. Doing it during the toast was a bit much. I totally get why he was pissed but firing him was a spiteful a**hole move
@@Swiftiebooklover7 Being a business owner doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want with employees. People do it, for sure. People abuse their power on a day to day basis. But people can also sue their employers for wrongful termination which is entirely applicable to what happened in the story.
The mom was jealous of her daughter and wanted her daughter to feel as insecure and ugly as she does. That’s why she did it. It’s despicable
exactly what i thought. wanting someone you supposed to love to feel bad just because you feel bad yourself is horrible and i think even emotionally abusive. having a serious illness doesn't give anyone the right to be a manipulative asshole.
Yeah exactly
Yikes!
Completely agree. Gross
Completely agree. There're aaaa looot of mothers that act like this and it makes me sick...
“Rainbow miracle baby” isn’t just OP being snarky, that’s what people call kids that come after a bunch of fertility issues.
Well saying “my miracle baby” is usually not a good sign because a lot of the moms just let their child do almost anything because they’re their little miracle child
As a mom, if I ever had cancer and had to lose my hair, I'd never ask my daughter to shave hers. For one it would traumatize her, but also it would change our relationship forever. I know my kids love languages, and I know that they will show me support in their own ways. Forcing someone to be supportive is cruel and doesn't mean anything. Hell I'd feel worse for doing it.
Idk, it's one thing saying what you would do but it's another to actually be in the trenches facing such an all-consuming disease. I'm not saying she was right for coercing the daughter to do something she didn't want to do, though. I think her intention was misguided, but not malicious. But this was while she's dealing with the disease and consequences of the treatment, so her headspace was probably not that centered. As much as the OP says she had a great survival rate, anyone will tell you the treatment is still draining, and chances of the cancer coming back increase due to the radiation from the chemo. Again, it doesn't make what the mother did okay, it just contextualizes what trauma she was dealing with and why maybe she didn't consider the hurt she was causing the daughter. But so long as the mother is able to look outside of her illness and apologizes to the daughter, I think they can move past this.
@@liswane I’m so upset no one is talking more on how the daughter feels in this scenario and trying to sit in this middle ground, trying not to appeal to a side more because of the mother’s situation and or even trying to use empathy as justification.
No matter who you think is right or wrong in this scenario, the thing that will be most affected from the story is the daughter’s future headspace(?)/feelings.
Just because a bad situation is happening to you or someone else it doesn’t excuse anything you/they do.
As a child I “had to”(forced to) cut my hair off as well in solidarity to one of my close relatives recovery from a hair disease (not anything like cancer but they had to completely shave off their hair for it so everyone felt bad and wanted to do it).
I definitely still hold a huge grudge against that relative irrationally and my parent rationally for that experience.
Unfortunately I don’t get to talk about feelings with my very traditional asian family so i could never get closure from confrontation but I hope people know that traumatizing/stressful things that happen to children can and will be remembered.
And even if it seems like the daughter is willing to move past things with the mother, it will most likely be to keep their relationship good. She is most definitely not obligated to move past things that happen in the past or forgive the mother.
Also call me biased but if we were being really objective here.. we would not take in the cancer situation from the mother into the discussion because the issue was if the father was in the wrong for telling off his wife for doing something manipulative to their child. Period.
@@LawOfSlay I'm so sorry for what you went through. It sounds awful.
I didn't discuss what the daughter's headspace could be because to me it's unquestionable that she was the victim, and she was definitely not ok with what she was coerced into doing. I just wanted to see the mother's side too because it's easy to say she's an a-hole and the dad and daughter should leave her, but the situation's more nuanced than saying she's just toxic and manipulative. And of course her cancer gets brought up because that's why she asked the daughter to cut her hair. Were she not sick with such a serious thing, we have no way of knowing if she would force her daughter to do something that drastic just to be "supportive". Just to reiterate, what the mother did was WRONG, I was trying to see her side and see if there's any hope for redemption and fixing that wrong. My hope is once she's cleared her headspace, the mother can make amends with the child and work towards building their trust again because as far as we know, this is a one time thing, and they can still work through it. But of course, if the mother simply expects them to ignore it and move on as if it was no big deal, then the OP should totally divorce her.
@@liswaneI think it's safe to say most people wouldn't ask their kids to shave their heads, cause it's insane
@@liswane As someone who was diagnosed with leukemia, aka blood cancer, I never rly understood the shaving your head in support. I get that not all people care for their hair as much as some others, but for me shaving my hair was an extremely traumatic and vulnerable moment. It was something I didn't want to do but had to. So imposing that on others felt sickening to me, as I'd almost be forcing other people to go through the same. There are many different ways to show your support, and if someone doesn't want to shave their head then that's totally fine. Admittedly, mom's headspace could not have been the best given many medications, chemo and radiation do alter your mood drastically. However, that does not justify her actions, it provides a reason, but not an excuse for essentially manipulating and guilt-tripping her daughter.
I’m convinced Dylan sits down and maps out a plan for his segues into the sponsors. I feel like I’ve been rickrolled each time
Same
Also like 95% of the time I skip sponsorship sections of yt videos but somehow I always watch Dylan's sponsorship sections
i have a 6th sense for them now
@@Okok-zk9zf same but this one got me and I feel violated😂
He sells his sponsorships with the devious mind of a sleazy cars salesman, but with the heart and spirit of a himbo.
So essentially like Hades from Hercules lmao.
im watching this for the second time and I was genuinely wondering why i couldn't remember the end of that story. i fell for it twice, i felt so fucking dumb
Considering people miss out on important events and even end their lives over bullying, I’d say she got a fitting punishment 🤷🏼♀️
I'm not surprised the daughter never considered that the girl they bullied likely missed out on all these events that she's now missing out on. Bullies are the least self-aware people. I'd say most bullies wouldn't even recognize that they are bullies.
Also, she was more concerned with missing those events and not displaying any remorse for what she did. Yeah, hopefully, she doesn't get to go.
To be honest if i found out that after 17 years of sacrifice my child was doing that. Then the Malaysian tribes can have her for their sacrifices.
as someone who’s been bullied out of skl before i think the dad ate
@@Puggylord316there’s no way my child could be a bully it would shatter me
I have faced racism and classism firsthand and know how traumatising it can be.... so Dylan going on a dad rant about the daughter that bullied honestly made my day......
Grew up in an abusive home. Can say with absolute certainty that the mother who forced her daughter to cut her hair is not just a one off. Abusive narcissists are never satisfied, and they definitely will use their suffering as a means of manipulating other people. My own mother told me about things that happened to her when she was young, and those things were terrible, but the fact remains she only did that to hurt me and spite my sister, whom she does not talk to anymore because she woudn't put up with the behaviour.
Also the "if you don't do this I will hold against you" *TO A KID* is another major red flag. That's not just "I'm stressed and not coping well", that is "I see it as my right to hurt you if you fail to do as I say". Hiding behind your illness to force other people to feel better about your own insecurities, instead of seeking solace in your loved ones that such things don't matter, is THE number one behaviour of manipulation to an shocking degree. Especially when she's not in a life threatening condition.
I was kicked out of HS for being a bully and it was the most important wake up call/lesson of my life. Now being 26 I have never regretted a chapter in my life more than being a mean girl, no excuse ever and completely agree with those punishments given. I hope they change, its possible.
this is really heart-warming, good on you for growing and learning i hope everyone affected is doing well now
As someone who was bullied by the mean girl, I am very happy you were able to improve yourself. I only wish the girls who were mean to me went down a good path as well
Can I ask why, at the time, you did bully people? It's a struggle struggle me to understand that mindset, but I'm so glad you've grown from that!
I'm glad you learned from it. A lot of people never do. They grow up to be what we call "Karens".
@@justsomeone929 I can almost guarantee that it was one of two things: suffering in your own life that makes you lash out without ever really understanding why (you just become a hostile person by default) or an attempt to fit in with some really shitty people.
For the cancer one, I definitely understand what the mom must be going through, but if it were me I would think, "Well, hey, *I* don't want to shave my own head, so why would my 17 year old want to shave hers?" Like, why would you want to force someone to do something you're upset about being forced to do? It's a great gesture if the person *wants* to do it, but if not, you're just forcing people to be miserable with you, which is selfish.
Also for the bully- she deserved it. 🤷🏾♀️ Most of us 2020 graduates didn’t get a prom nor even a proper graduation and that was against our will. ( I had a “drive thru graduation”💀😂) Meanwhile, what sounds to be a senior girl bullied another girl out of school????? And was probably being racist??? She’s way too old to not know better.
SAME HERE
Class of 2021 here. My school also did a drive through graduation 💀
the class of 2020 is literally so sad 🫠🫠 (i am one too)
Fellow class of 2020, it fucked with my head for whatever reason and didn’t feel real so my brain just thinks I’m still 17 even though I know I’m 21
Fellow 2020 graduate here! i graduated in my grandmas backyard with a youtube live sort of video smh 😩
The story with the mom and daughter makes me sad. It reads jealousy, insecurity, and narcissistic. “I don’t have hair, neither should you. None of us get to feel pretty.” Vibes. It’s insane that she manipulated her child and then said “ she wanted to!”
You can't propose to someone at a wedding. Unless you've cleared it with the bride and groom
Agreed, the punishment for the bullying wasn't that harsh considering. Bullying isn't just a one time mistake, it has long lasting consequences on the victims. It affects their futur in a lot of ways: mental health, physical trauma, potential ptsd etc... it's like asking a child to construct themselves while drowning... no car for birthday and no dancing? Bouhou
Plus the girl that got bullied will miss her homecoming and prom as well. At least with the friends at that school.
Ya I didn’t go to my prom and I know I didn’t miss much. I didn’t get any of what this girl would’ve gotten if she’d gone to her prom. She need an ass whooping imo.
@@miraino15 exactly!
speaking as the kid who was bullied to the point of switching schools; youre completely right. bullying like that led me to attempt, it probably did her too which is so incredibly heartbreaking. the daughter has NO idea what shes done to that poor girl and will never understand the lifelong affects that stuff has. its deadly
@@jaeydnheeren Agreed bullying is not something that should be taken lightly. I was bullied as well so I totally understand what you're saying. I still have trauma
In case you didn’t know, Dylan, a “rainbow baby” is an actual term used to describe the baby you have after suffering from a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. So in that case the OP wasn’t being snarky, it’s an actual phrase people use.
Fascinating. I had never heard that before in my life. I wonder how new or old the expression originates.
I think it’s a relatively new expression, maybe just in the last handful of years it’s been a thing
@@claireneville1070 Gotcha. I feel less shocked and weird I'd never heard it then. It often takes a few years for me (31yo) to pick up the latest lingo.
The mother guilt-tripping her daughter to cut her hair is straight up narcissistic. You can't force people to show their support to you in only specific ways. If you are struggling you don't have to put others in that position in order to feel better about yourself. (Personally I feel like the mom was just jealous/envious because her daughter has hair and she doesn't).
right, that could just be the start to further dangerous manipulation on her part, the husband saying they dont even usually go on girl trips shows that she'll go out of her way to do something bad to her. parents should be incapable of being jealous of their children
Having gone through cancer and chemo and complete loss of my long curly hair 9 months ago this mom is an absolute AH BITCH!!! Seriously! What sort of response is that to emotionally blackmail a probably already fairly traumatised kid (scary time for a kid the thought of losing a parent/seeing someone you love go through such a tough time.)
In all honesty if any of my friends or loved ones would have shaved their heads for me I’d probably of felt appreciative but super guilty.
So true. And it's even worse for the daughter because she's still a kid and will probably feel ugly and conscious now, not to mention the fact that she might get bullied at school. The mom is so wrong for manipulating her daughter like that. The dad should put his foot down and I honestly think the wife is the one who deserves to sleep on the couch for what she did. Having cancer doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want or be an asshole, especially to people who you supposedly care for.
No shit she was envious, she has cancer 🫥 if she had done stuff in the past similar to that, I would understand y'alls reaction. But this is just too far, y'all can't demon-call a woman you know nothing about from one incident shared online where she was in the wrong, I've seen this way too many times on the internet.
@@lemondrop7532 I never said she was a demon, just that her actions were narcissistic and that she was using her horrible situation to manipulate those around her. As an adult, she should know better than to act on her envious impulses; especially if she is projecting that onto a child, espeically if its HER CHILD.
I was not a "rainbow baby", but I had a very grim prognosis before and after birth. My family considered me a miracle, but that doesn't mean I should get away with shit and be an awful person. I'm in the situation where I am disabled from birth, but I'm treated like a human being, just like my sister who was born before me. I was disciplined when I should have been so I learned from my mistakes. "Miracle" or not, a child needs to learn actions have consequences; I want to be seen by my character, not by the trauma that surrounded me being born. This kid may just become an asshole because he doesn't even know the fact that actions have consequences. He probably is enjoying it, but also being put on this pedestal can just cause more issues in the long run.
Hey you and I have the same thing! I'm disabled and also everyone (the docs) said I may not last.. I'm an only child but my parents would NEVER spoil me. (Plus the fact that I grew up faster than my age due to reasons) I've always been humbled and raised by grandparents. Have I never acted like a brat? I did. But I had been given a kind talk and I never repeated that. Ever.
All of the Instagram pictures can be downloaded before deleting the account. I think bullying a girl to the point she changes schools is a drastic offense demanding drastic action. I can see letting her go to prom after going through the school year with those other punishments, particularly if she demonstrated genuine remorse and growth.
iirc social media sites like instagran usually gives about a month before actually deleting the account anyway, the bully could show her parents the deleteing page and then reactivate it later.
Forcing anyone to support you in any way is absolutely despicable
Cannot tell if humor. Perhayps about itty bitty poor b*tch boy, perhayps about itty bitty novice plumber boy. Either way, YTA. ...j/k You're my rainbow child.
@@soandso5058i think you missed the key word here being “forcing”. no one is forcing parents to support their child, that’s what being a parent IS and if that’s not something they want then they shouldn’t become parents. same with friends. a friend supports another because they care about them and part of caring is supporting each other, no one is or should be FORCING their friends to support them either. that’s just what friends do.
@@soandso5058 Not what I meant by support
@@soandso5058 I think the only time where being forced to support someone is actually necessary is if it for a human life that has no other way of surviving, could still be conditional too tho tbf but with a child you kinda gotta considering that that is a human life and they have no other way of surviving unless you get them adopted
This comment captures the entire video, and is also unhinged man sheesh@@em8066
As someone who has a sister with a bratty child, I kind of understand why the OP sounds a little condescending at times. When you have to deal with an unbehaved child at every family occassion and the mother doesn't take criticism very well, it can be pretty exhausting. I love my sister and niece, but it's still annoying when her child acts up every time we see each other, and she leaves when you tell her your honest opinion about some of her parenting techniques. Of course I have no idea if my situation is similar to the OP's, but I kind of get her.
Annoying for the other kids as well. I had similar experiences with other children at birthday parties and it always frustrated the heck out of me.
Honestly at that point the only constructive thing to do is to learn how to speak to them in a way that doesn't put them on the defensive. Most of the times part of the problem is that criticizing their child and/or the way they act on it makes them feel like you're saying they're bad parents, so approaching the problem from a different angle can serve far better
Yeah, it would be frustrating, but like Dylan pointed out, it sounds like the OP hadn't brought it up before and got fed up at the party and blurted everything she'd been bottling up. I would've reacted just like the sister too if after years of acting like things are fine, my own sister started talking about my child like that. Yes, the sister shouldn't be so lenient with her child just because he's her miracle baby, but the OP should've had that conversation privately since it's a delicate subject after the sister's had many miscarriages, not just criticized her and complain about the kid in a party like that.
You are entitled to your opinion but it's the parents decision to decide how to parent their kids, and everybody else kinda needs to mind their own damn business. You are allowed to voice your opinions but don't be shocked when you're shut down ig
@@stuffwithsoph8264no if anything if their kid is acting up then their techniques aren’t working and then they should be open to new options, just bc you are the kids parent doesn’t mean everything u do is correct for ur kid, u should still be open if nothing is clearly working
The way the dad handled his daughter for bullying is ok in my book. She has 2 dances coming so he could allow her to pick one if he felt she was deserving. She is so lucky that the girl moved away and not unaliving herself.
I feel like if the girl unalived herself the bullies wouldn't care. Many times bullies are so deluded that they'll make any excuse they can to not feel the guilt of their actions and face the reality that they are a bad person. I can see a reality where if this happened, the girl would still only focus on being upset over missing a dance.
If the daughter shows any "improvement", who's to say it isn't performative? She needs to feel actual remorse rather than making her goal to go to the dance and having her do things to earn that. I don't know what the best way to handle that situation would be, but if her focus is on how she's being punished and "woe is me" for getting the consequences of her actions rather than understanding what she did was wrong, then I don't see room for long-term improvement. Maybe having her speak with the parents of the bullied child or an authoritative figure or pointing out how much that other girl has lost out in terms of her social life (ex: likely not going to these dances) would be better.
The fact that her focus is on the school dance shows makes me believe any "changes" are just to go to the school dance and can disappear afterwards.
the girl obviously cares more that she was caught and punished than what she did
As someone who got bullied most of my time in school, I love Dylan's dad mode here. I chose to follow the right creator
I shaved my head in solidarity with my mom when she first underwent chemo but that was 100% my choice. I was the one to tell her that I would shave my head to support her. She asked me over and over if I was sure and reassured me that I didn’t have to if I wasn’t sure. (Especially since my hair was down to my waist) This was some I had thought of not long after we found out she had cancer so I was able to mentally prepare myself for the change. Plus, it felt great to donate 24” of my hair to go towards wigs for cancer patients. But no one should ever feel coerced or manipulated, especially with withheld love and affection, into making such a drastic change. This mom forcing this decision on her daughter is beyond the level of selfishness that could be forgiven to someone going through chemo.
The cancer mom is definitely the a*hole. My mother had cancer and I offered to shave my hair off with her and she said no because she hated being bald and didn't want to see me do it to myself, she loves my hair and couldn't stand to see me cut it. She thankfully made a full recovery and is now 8 years clear with beautiful long hair again, she to this day says losing her hair was one of the hardest parts.
I’m so glad your mom was able to recover and that she had you to support her. Hair means so much
My mom had 9 miscarriages, out of 11 pregnancies she only got my brother and me, My brother's birth wasn't easy but didn't have complications. Mine was a shit show from the start of the pregnancy, the doctors even told my mom that I probably wouldn't live and advised she abort me. Growing up neither of us was treated as "special" we never got preferential treatment. No matter how much of a "miracle" the baby is, they need to be able to grow up to be a functional member of society.
Pls if you dont mind asking you but is your father way older then your mother
@@maddieleila2289 No, my dad was 2 years younger than my mom.
As a mom of 3 girls ages 27,24&15, I can say that mom is a horrific mom and person. No real mom would ask their child to suffer because they are suffering!!! Sounds like mom is jealous of her daughter and didn’t want her to have hair because the mom won’t. She’s horrible and I hope her daughter goes away for college and never comes home.
Y'all act like she forced her to kill someone.😭 Horrific!? Why do women go so hard on other women? It's giving misogyniesed mind
@@lemondrop7532yes because emotionally manipulating your daughter is ok? “If you don’t shave your head I will never forgive you..”
@@care971 yes, that's exactly what I was trying to say! 🙄*sarcasm*
Narcissistic parent. It’s pretty obvious to me since I’m very familiar with those parents. :)
@@lemondrop7532ah another chronically online individual who weaponises the word “misogyny” without actually understanding the meaning 🤣🤣
I’ve faced racism on an online platform, and I had to delete my Instagram account just so I could get through every day without having anxiety attacks. I still struggle with this sometimes because I was pushed to a corner to delete my account. For the reddit post, an apology from the daughter and all the bullies would help a lot but only when they mean it. Thank you Dylan for going into Dad Mode and addressing this issue
For the bullying story, I think the punishment was definitely called for, perhaps even more. I would figure out the timeline of how long they were being racist bullies, and that would be the timeframe for her punishment. No phone for the entire time, limited access to entertainment and friends, and a lengthy apology letter that she would have to read in front of the person and their parents that she bullied (that’s if they felt comfortable with it, I know some kids might not want to see the face of their bully again, I would tread the waters to see how they feel, but my daughter would still have to write it by hand and mail it). Even all this is not enough to erase the pain and possible ptsd for the bullied child, but if my child thinks she’s gonna get away with the bare minimum, she’s wrong.
I'd be SO embarrassed if my S.O proposed to me on someone else's wedding day. Like, we're here to celebrate THEIR wedding; how f**king lazy and tactless do you have to be to propose using OTHER people's hard work in getting the venue and decorations with THEIR money that you're now using to your advantage to propose to me??? I'd be so disappointed lmao.
With that said, I don't think the brother should have fired him but I definitely disagree with Dylan in that it's narcissistic to want your wedding celebration.... to be about YOUR wedding celebration. That's why you're having it in the first place???? Like, what's NOT clicking?
Exactly why I thought.
@@adoresessy101right I'll admit I got kinda triggered and had to do a double take like excuse me mf?😭
It only make sense if both couples are really close and the one proposing got prior permission from the couple getting married, like the clip Dylan showed with the bouquet “toss”.
Even then I think it’s weird for people to do, but I can see how that can be a fun and memorable moment the couple would want to share with close friends. But that only works if the marrying couple is enthusiastically onboard!
See you get it--Months of planning, hundreds to thousands of dollars, all for the moment to go to someone else?? I'd be pissed as fuck!! And its kind of a lazy proposal ngl...what planning did you do, prepare an off-topic speech? With the video it was cute because it was already playing into the future weddings aspect of a current wedding, and the bride was in on it.
Story 1: think about it this way: He basically proposed at a venue that he didn't have to pay, where he didn't have to invite the people and it still would look "fancy" in the pics that were taken. All of this did NOT come out of his pocket. He didn't plan it, he didn't pay it but he damn sure as hell used it. Also that would've been okay if he f*cking ASKED them if they are okay with him proposing there.
We all know it was rude to do it the way his brother proposed but firing him and not even having the balls to tell him why is way too much.
@CassidyStarke maybe I'm wrong but I'd assume the brother was hired because he was the brother, not for how qualified he was. Nepotism hires don't get the same rights in my mind. If you mess up your relationship with them, you gst fired, because it was the relationship that got you hired on the first place.
That's what I'm saying. The firing was a bit much, I would have just made a speech that 'this was me and my partner's day, he did not ask us if this was okay and because you used our blood, sweat, tears, time and MONEY just so you can use all of our resources that we made for US, this is not yours and your partner's moment, you didn't ask if this was okay, you disrespected both me and my partner and if you don't apologize, in front of everyone, since you could have proposed at the wedding away from everyone and made it only about you two, then both of you would need to leave the wedding you wanted to use for personal gain, but didn't put any effort into making.' It's disrespectful and why have someone like that in your life, even if they're family.
They’re both wrong. Firing was a bit much, especially to not explain why. The brother was also wrong for proposing at someone else’s wedding-which is a commonly known wedding faux pas…if he had asked them if he could propose that would be one thing, but I’m pretty sure if he had even asked a friend if it was a “good idea” they would have told him no.
Yeah firing is a lot but weddings can be insanely expensive and if the brother didn't contribute much to the wedding financially its awful.
The manipulation of the 17 year old to buzz her long hair she really cared about because her mum wanted to have an instagrammable moment of 'my daughter really supports me' makes me feel ill. YTA, illness does not give you a free pass to coercive behaviour!
I think that restorative actions to "earn back" prom are better for her being open enough to learning out of her mistakes than just flat out punishing her
4:44 should have known, with that broke boy line
I understand that proposing at someone else's wedding is rude and inconsiderate, but I do not believe that it should have cost the brother his job.
Weddings are SO expensive sometimes. I don't think it was wrong of OP to feel frustrated. OP pays all this money for a special day about him and his wife and someone took advantage of that. I don't think it's self-centred or narcissistic to be upset that he was upstaged for a moment on his special day that he likely spent a lot of money on.
I don't think it was right to fire him. However, you could argue play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Guy must have known it was wrong and it's a bad idea to piss off your boss like that.
The worst thing is that the brother probably thought he is finally getting his life together, will have a stable in come so now he can propose to his girlfriend. And than bam, without even a discussion, he is left jobless. And to those saying the wedding was upstaged or ruined, no one will ever say "hey remember that day his brother proposed to his gf". No, it will always stay their beautiful wedding day which was made even more special with the proposal.
@@ArchangelShine huh so there's a silent majority in western world too, who feel getting upstaged isnt the end of the world...interesting indeed! I thought it was super weird how announcements in weddings(proposal/pregnency)are viewed in a negative light or the stuff about ugly bridesmaid dresses and how people praise if the bride "allows" good bridesmaid fits. I put these in thoughts in "don't understand cuz different culture" box. Maybe we are more alike than I thought
@@lemon4087 tbh I'm from the Balkans and while there ARE people who go all out for their weddings (not hundreds of thousand, but a couple thousan dollars sure), for majority it's just a huge party for all guests.
I understand different cultures, like you said, but it is still unbelievable someone would put sooo much money and effort into a single day. I dont think it's so much a cultural thing as it is commercialism and movie influence etc.
@@naruchancutie1Using the play stupid games win stupid prizes can apply just as well to OP though if his brother sees the post and sues him for it lol. Let's stop enabling people making excuses for their unprofessional and shitty behavior when they LITERALLY probably ruined a person's livelihood. I'd get it if the brother was actually antagonistic and unapologetic when confronted but with the info we have, you can argue that he's just ignorant.
For the first story, OP is allowed to be frustrated-proposing at another person’s wedding is a huge faux-pas. But I don’t think taking away his employment and source of income is an appropriate or equal response.
Agreed, I feel the brother should have definitely asked OP before doing that but there are much easier ways to handle the situation then firing him 💀
Exactly, an appropriate response would be not invading him to a party or something, not make a decision that literally will impact him in all aspects of his life, that's so extreme for not wanting to share the spotlight
Completely agree!!
If I recall, he gave his brother pay for the time he isn't working until he starts his own business.
I agree
From the last story, I don't think OP was being as condescending as you thought Dylan; rainbow baby is a term used to refer to healthy babies born after a mother has suffered several miscarriages.
This!! I was going to comment this bc I have a rainbow cousin so it's not as condescending at that point.
I'm guessing "my little rainbow miracle" is something the sister has said + that's why OP said that specifically or something
Was looking to see if someone posted this. Thank you!
came to comment this! it’s not *supposed* to be condescending, it’s an actual term 🌈
(the mom in the story is taking it way overboard)
This is definitely an American thing. My mother has never called me that nor have I ever heard of it lmao. I would be mortified if anyone called me that tbh.
@@halvedemiwhy?
My mother forced me to cut all my hair off at 13 from touching my butt to a pixie cut so I’d look more like her and it traumatized me for years. I’m nearly 30 and I still have a weird relationship with my hair. I hope that daughter is able to heal from that trauma and her mother’s manipulation.
oh I read this wrong, thought she forced you to cutt your hair off cos you were touching your butt
@@bubblesteror9naysame xD
me too lmao@@bubblesteror9nay
LMAO@@bubblesteror9nay
with the daughter shaving her head, there is also the added component of her being in high school, and while someone's haircut is no reason to bully someone, it certainly does still happen. and if its a change that she's not confident in, that would only make things even more emotionally stressful.
Your editing is getting better and better!!! This was extremely entertaining to watch, even more so than before which I thought wouldn’t be possible
In the shaving head scenario, the daughter is not in any physical danger, but she's definitely in danger of getting emotional trauma from this. I went through a very similar situation with my dad. When people go through traumatizing things they do react weirdly, but that is never ever an excuse to do that to your child. From my experience, when parents think they can get their children to do anything they want, they have some sense of "ownership" over that child. When you realize these people are toxic they explode your life. I hope this situation doesn't escalate and gets better once her cancer is treated, but this could just be showing a deep rooted problem the mother needs to work on. But of course, I would need more context and I definitely am projecting from my life lol.
Doesn't sound like a projection on your part tbh. It's very, VERY emotionally manipulative to tell your own child, still underage, that you'll *never forgive them* if they don't agree to do something with their body against their will for the sake of a little bit of your own comfort, while gaslighting them into thinking you are giving them a choice- illness be damned. First of all, it teaches a bad message- that others have some sort of ownership over your body and that you have to use it to placate them, lest they stop loving you. Just... yikes, such harmful parenting. Second off- while the mother is going through the most stress in this situation as the one afflicted- she's sure as hell not the only one suffering due to her illness. Having a severely ill parent as a child is an extremely stressful and traumatizing thing to experience, even when said parent doesn't coerce then gaslight them just to make themselves feel better- let alone when they do. If you are a parent- yes, even one that is ill- you can't *not* consider that and if you don't, it probably says things about you. Anyone can be a good parent when things are easy.
I can totally see why OP is reconsidering his entire marriage lol. I just hope the daughter doesn't guilt-trip herself for the inevitable dent this will make on their relationship and that once in a better place, the mother will acknowledge she fucked up and try to make up for it.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 "If you are a parent- yes, even one that is ill- you can't not consider that and if you don't, it probably says things about you. Anyone can be a good parent when things are easy."
I was going to say that ! It's easy to be decent or even a "good person" when everything is going well. But I am one to think, that you see people's true colors, only in difficult situations. If someone's response to a dangerous or painfull, scary... situation is really bad, like this one... That's not harmless, and I believe the problem is more important than just her being scared or hurt. Because there is no way this girl is not already affected by what her mom is going through. And even in sickness, her mom should want to protect her daughter. As scary and tough things are, she should not think only about herself. Forcing someone like that is wrong, there is multiple ways to show support in that or any situation. But it's even worse that she did it to her own child.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 I mean, without context, yes it's a very manipulative thing for the mother to say "do this thing you don't want to do or i'll never forgive you". However, the mother was probably in a bad headspace from the chemo, and even if she was told she has a 100% survival rate, cancer can come back so it's not like it's a done deal after treatment. In fact, your chances of getting cancer again increase because of the radiation from treatment. I think people dealing with an illness as serious as cancer, regardless of their survival rate, get to be a little irrational when they're going through it. While it's definitely a conversation they should have, and the mother should reflect on how wrong it was to coerce her daughter into chopping her hair off in solidarity, I don't think it was the worst thing ever, or done with malicious intent to hurt the child. Hair grows, and so do people, so I'd like to believe the mother will see that she was in the wrong here.
Whether it warrants getting a divorce is up to them to end it over this or not, but I don't think what she did was unforgivable given the context. As long as they have a serious conversation and the mother doesn't try to manipulate the daughter like that again, I could see them work through it.
@@liswane Oh, I don't think it's straight up "unforgivable". But here's the thing- regardless of what the circumstances or intentions were, this mother did something abusive to her already stressed/traumatized daughter during a still formative age that will affect her and their relationship for some time. I think it's totally possible for them to fix this, but it will depend entirely on how the mother handles it from here. I hope she makes amends; maybe she will, maybe she won't- but we can't know that, so we're kinda stuck with discussing what happened, rather than what will happen.
@@chiefpurrfect8389 Yeah, overall what the mother did wasn't a simple mistake, so I hope they go to some family therapy to work through it. They probably should've gone already after the mother was diagnosed and the illness affected the whole family, and now they definitely have to go to deal with this.
The difference between the scenario described in the Reddit post and the video of that bride handing her bouquet to her friend, is that the couple getting married in the video were in on it. It was planned in accordance with the couple. You know, the two people everyone was there to celebrate.
I also don't think it's narcissism, as you put it. I actually think it's more narcissistic to go to an event celebrating a couple or an individual and taking the time to make it about you, without consulting the people who planned and paid for the event in the first place. It's so undignified.
I think for the bullying one that is definitely a fair punishment, because like Dylan said, imagine how terrible that girl felt and on top of that she's also having to start at a new school for senior year, so she probably won't even be able to enjoy senior prom or homecoming to the fullest anyways since she doesn't know that many people. I also like the idea of earning your privileges back.
Right? All the mental and emotional toll that girl took. The bully thinking it's too harsh not getting to go to a dance further shows how instead of dancing, she needs to spend that time to reflect on how she harmed that girl to the point she had to switch schools.
i hope the parents for that make sure they keep an eye on the daughter, she got a lot taken from her in very little time i'm scared she might lash out and hatecrime the girl she bullied LMAOO ('lmao' but in a concerned way)
Although I was not a rainbow baby, my odds of surviving beyond 3 years-old were slim - we're talking 80% not in favour - and yet my mother raised me to respect others, and not be a spoiled or "special" child, and I thank her so much for that 🙏
The editing is GOLDEN!! Love itt!
He’s so consistent with uploading that he even uploads his ooga booga videos on Monday!
He's got the spirit, he's just a little confused😂
Movie Commentary Monday? Nonono- AITA MONDAY
this joke could ruin my life
Cancer might be hard, yes. But it's not an excuse to potentially cause new trauma to your child...?? what about being harassed at school for it? or suffering from the actual emotional ultimatum her mother let down on her? As if your mother having cancer wasn't enough in itself.... and I'm guessing it's not the only manipulative behaviour she had towards her daughter, what is wrong with those people
Right? This seems very telling of that woman’s character
Yeah honestly to be upset sure. But "ill never forgive you if you dont" is manipulative
it’s hair at most she’ll be sad but the wife just needs mental help also the wife is the one with the cancer
@@_m1ca0 it's not just hair, otherwise we'd all be bald. I'm pretty certain the kid will cry about this and that it will impact her confidence tremendously.
i think assuming it's a pattern is unreasonable. anyone going through something that horrible could spiral, maybe she'll regret it and apologise when she gets better. and her cancer must be hard on the daughter, but when someone you love is sick you don't process that as trauma you're going through, you worry about the person you love having a hard time. she didn't have to shave her head, but i'm sure she'll eventually be forgiving of why her mum would act like that in such a bad situation
I actually do think that it is abusive for the mother to have pressured her daughter into shaving her head. 17 is a very sensitive age. You have so many milestones that you hit at that age. Prom is close, graduation, senior year, college is starting soon. It will be HARD for her to do those things with a shaved head especially if she isn’t feeling confident in herself. It takes years to grow hair back and it is very personal to each person, especially at such a young age. Now all of her pictures of this time will be of her looking like she doesn’t want to. It’s hard enough to be a young woman, but an involuntarily shaved young woman? She’s really made a terrible situation for her daughter because she wasn’t feeling secure. It’s not right and she took a lot away from her by pushing her to do that. It’s cruel and selfish and it would be hard for me to forgive my mother if she did that to me. Losing hair is very traumatic as the mother should know, and to force her daughter to go through similar trauma to make her feel more “loved” is very telling of her character.
As someone with long hair who takes pride in my hair and puts extreme effort into caring for it, I can honestly say that if my mother wanted me to shave my head for her I'd flat out refuse before she'd even be able to finish her sentence. She's already asked me before if I'd ever shave my head if she found out she had cancer and I've told her multiple times that I wouldn't. I wouldn't even shave my own head if I had cancer, cuz while the treatment can cause hair loss that doesn't mean it always does and I would rather have patchy hair than no hair at all. And while we're on the topic, I'd never ask someone to shave their heads for me to feel "solidarity" and if anyone did, I wouldn't feel touched, I'd feel annoyed that someone, stranger or not, felt they had to shave themselves for my sake. No weirdos I don't need your 15 minutes of sympathy, what I'd need and the only thing I'd want at that point is a fu¢king cure!
Response to story #5- My aunt completely spoils both my cousins (one is male, the other is female), but especially favors her son. For example, when he was in high school, he and his friends stole a teacher's credit card and bought pizza with it. He was kicked out of school, but never received any punishment from his parents besides "a stern talking to. " (I know this because my mother filled me in.) He is constantly disrespecting adults (including family members) and my aunt does nothing to intervene. Now he is 22 with no clear goal in mind except to live off his parents. My aunt is always complaining about how he acts and comparing him to me and my siblings' lives.
The writer of the story might find it annoying to deal with her nephew now but, at the end of the day, it's her sister who will have to deal with the positive and negative consequences of her parenting. There's nothing you can do when it comes to other people's choices. All you can do is offer advice (if asked) and observe. Trust me. My mother has been doing it for years.
The “I’ll never forgive you if you don’t shave your head in solidarity” comes off as emotional blackmail, especially because of the cancer aspect. However, I definitely think it can be worked on as long as the mum is made to understand how wrong what she did was. It would probably be easier for her to understand how not okay it was if the daughter explained to the mum how that made her feel.
Every time Dylan starts a video and you notice he doesn't have his nose piercing in, you know there's just gonna be a random point in the video where he has a mild heart attack and then turns 20 again lmao
If I were the parents of the daughter who was doing the racist bullying, I'd make her give every free weekend she had to me to earn back her prom and homecoming privileges. I'd take her to go volunteer every weekend in soup kitchens and other charity groups. Since she spent all that time bullying, she can spend time giving back to our community. I would also try to reach out to the girl who was bullied parents and ask if my daughter could write them a letter each week about what she has been learning while meeting people of all races who are in need of our help and why being racist and bullying is never okay. Just a thought.
That's beautiful and sensible. Especially the letter. And at the end if she does earn her privileges she could write one last letter apologizing. So when she/he finally Apologizes it won't be an empty one. It would have depth and value.
This is a really good advice for the parents. It is a punishment but also a way to make her open her eyes to other people's problems and be more empathetic
It sucks that doing something good has to be considered a punishment. It’s not fun, but giving back is gratifying. Helping the less fortunate is definitely a great teaching tool, and writing letters is a great way to help her reflect on her choices
The letter idea is really sweet but I'm not sure it's fair to the bullied girl. It was so bad she decided to switch schools and now she would have to hear from that girl? If I were her parents I'd tell them to scram 😭
@user-st6jx6ud4q That is why I'd ask the parents what they thought first. If they agreed to it, then we would send them. If not, no big deal. She would write the letters and present them each week to our family. It still will show us whether or not she is growing as time passes.
i’m actually impressed with the way he introduced the ad 😂
the tricking of the ad was amazing omg
18:05-18:06 THE SHADE, Dylan and Joe really brought in that UA-camr when Dylan talked about "apologizing for growth" and not just apologizing to smooth things over 🤣
I literally gasped out loud
jump scare
this was the funniest edit in the video, for sure
I laughed so loud!!!
I don’t get it. Can someone explain what that UA-camr did to Dylan?
poor Anna omg. She said she didn't want to cut her hair - the wife was literally emotionally blackmailing her daughter
Joe may you be blessed for all the memes you provide us with
I love the editing of this video
No comment, jut appreciation for the editor
The only time proposing is okay at someone else's wedding is if both parties agreed to it. No such agreement was made in story 1 and the fact the brother is not at all apologetic and how the parents enable it I genuinely don't think this was the first time the brother has pulled something like that.
I think the parent of the girl who bullied is doing a great job. This feels like a punishment that really might make a difference in the way she acts in the future. It seems like the parents are also really concerned and take their daughters behaviour serious, which is great. I do hope they also talk to their daughter and find out a bit more about her reasons and this friend group she has to make sure this kinda thing doesn't happen again.
for the abby baby miracle thing - rainbow baby is an actual term for a baby after a miscarriage. i work with a child who was in hospital for a lot of their life and is the exact same, they can’t share or play with others, they can’t accept things that aren’t their way. it’s always the parents fault
I actually clapped for the parent of the bully. Well done
My mother had cancer and a year ago she too had to shave her head. I know it was hard for her, as she always had long, thick hair. She did not ask me to shave my head with her and I did not offer. Hair has been an important aspect of my physicality and it grows incredibly slowly. Instead, I found ways of helping her feel beautiful and found videos that showed her how she could work with her hair as it grows back. We have all been very supportive and have gushed overhear now, short, cute hair style, and all without any of us shaving our heads, too. I get that people with cancer are in a vulnerable space, but forcing your teenaged daughter into an unfair situation like that is just manipulative.
I am right there with you, Dylan.
Can I just say that's gotta be the best editing I've ever seen (both in a Dylan video, and generally). So funny, so creative and original. Like dude... Wow.
Dylan getting sponsored in Ooga Booga?!?! That's a new level of class lol
Kinda creepy how the mom wanted the daughter to shave her head in solidarity. 1) None of her friends/siblings were willing to do that? That seems like something the close adults of the family would rally around so if none of them thought to do that, what does that say the type of person the mom is?
2) Seems like a jealousy/envy thing. If I have to shave my head and go through the process of growing it back, so do you because you can't have prettier hair than me and I own you.
3) "I'll never forgive you" ?????? That's manipulative AF! I'd be on Dylan's side if the mom had an honest and respectful conversation with her daughter and that was what convinced her. But the do it or else tactic, I can't get behind
The jealousy thing is spot on
Honestly if I were that girl that would be the beginning of the end of my relationship with my mom
@@JamieRoseLincoln yeah, the dad mentioned that she takes care with her hair, so the mom was probably hyper envious that her daughter had hair and it was better than hers. What a foul woman.
Literally makes me think of the evil stepmother in Snow White.
Also, there's a difference between having a loved one shave their head to support you and you asking them to suffer with you.
Re: cancer mom
Cancer sucks, I have no doubt. And also…mom shouldn’t be saying “I’ll never forgive you” at all. Just the one instance doesn’t an abusive parent make, but if it’s part of a larger pattern that is cause for concern. I can appreciate Dad’s response because he’s trying to protect his kid, and that needs to be a larger conversation too. That shit can get really messy really fast.
And no matter what age you are, it’s really hard to get over hearing a parent blatantly tell you their unconditional parental love now has a caveat.
Totally agree
Also, while a pattern of behavior can make someone abusive, a single action that is out of character can still count as abuse, even if there's no pattern. Like a parent beating their kid only once still abused them that one time, whether or not they were abusive in the sense that there was a pattern. I think it's important to acknowledge that the act is still abusive, for people reading the comments.
I hope the daughter is doing okay.
For the brother proposal post, I definitely think they should've known or planned ahead of time if the novice plumber brother wanted to propose at the wedding, because otherwise, that is pretty disrespectful to just spring it on everybody with no prior warning. On the other hand though, the newly married brother did overreact by firing his brother just because of that, and Dylan's right, I'm pretty sure it is illegal (or at least morally wrong) to fire someone without having a viable reason why they can't continue to do their job
It actually is legal in most states to fire someone for any reason that is not discriminatory. Most states are at-will in the USA.Also a lot of protections against firing people depend how many employees are employed at a company. Small company usually equals less employee protections.
Idk if there is a new editor or something but I really like those comments just appearing while Dylan is talking. 17:34
Joe is his editor
Dylan's comments on bullying made me feel so validated. I had the worst acne in my school (just an objective fact), and I was bullied for it, obviously. My situation wasn't even the worst, since I had friends who would sometimes stand up for me (if they were around, and the boys didn't look too intimidating), and the bullying only got physical once (but I fought back and became a bit of a local hero for it, good memories if not a bit terrifying). Still, I can feel how that seemingly mild bullying (in comparison to other horror stories I read about) left an indelible mark on my psyche. I suffer from social anxiety, I am hyper vigilant to the point where I cannot sit with my back exposed without feeling intense discomfort, and I always expect the worst of people when I meet them (and am always genuinely surprised when they treat me nicely). I'm also scared of being in the light for the fear that my acne become too visible (even though I have none left, just some scars). Bullying is a horrible, horrible thing, and I just want to hug that girl and make it all go away, but... But all we can do is heal and persevere at this point. The damage may never be completely undone, but life is still worth living.
That nightmare scenario (with the ad placement) is the most hilarious, freakishly compassionate, complex worry I've ever heard. Dylan you're a gem
Its not "support" if you have to emotionally blackmail and coerce someone already under your custody to get them to do it....i have so many words for that "mother"
Not wanting someone else to propose on your wedding day does not make you a narcissist. Not even close.
Maybe not some random guest who decided to pop the question, but your own brother who you hired? and then fired him for doing it? Idk... Like, I get it can be frustrating if they don't warn the couple who's celebrating their wedding, but if it's your brother, why would that make you angry? If anything, it should add to the joy of the day because it's more good news for everyone.
I think if you're planning on proposing at someone else's wedding, you should always ask first. Some people are okay with it, some people wouldn't be. At the end of the day, it is THEIR special day and you wouldn't want to take away from that in any way.
@liswane It's just rude and inconsiderate even if you're family. It's like how people don't like sharing birthdays, but 100% more important. Especially since weddings usually cost thousands and the years or so of planning down the drain, if you propose at a wedding your the ah.
@@liswane i dont care if its my brother, yes firing him for that was extreme but i wouldnt let that go. its like birthday, you wouldnt want to have someone steal the spotlight on your birthday, but like you have it every year while weddings - probably not. its a special day for the couple so dont propose until they agreed to it cause you're basically destroying what they wanted to be a perfect day they spent money and effort on. the brother was selfish for that, he could've proposed literally even a day later with just his gf on like a cute date, yet he chose to do it when the wedding was happening. asshole definitely (but yeah, i would let him know im upset in different ways rather than making him lose his source of income)
Your wedding day is your ONE special day so I totally understand
13:37 actually my mom had cancer. She fought it for 5 years and she died 4 years ago at the age of 55. We shaved her hair off at home and actually had a lot of fun, making jokes, trying to put up a green Mohawk before shaving it because “she was curious to see what it would look like and never dared to do anything like that when she was younger” etc. But one thing she said and always stuck to, was that she thought it was a stupid choice for people to shave off their hair to show support for others with cancer, and that if we had done something like that she would be really sad about it actually and she would have felt guilty for it.
Another thing I got from the whole experience was to dare experiment with my hair while I still got it. You wanna try a crazy color? Just do it! You wanna try a weird or crazy or unusual haircut? Just do it! It’s hair. It’s changeable. It’s growable. If you fuck it up it can always be changed again or grown again etc. so never be afraid to do what you want with your own hair, no matter what others might think or say about it. It’s yours. And some day, like my mom, you might lose your hair and regret not daring to try that thing you always wanted. For my mom it was that green Mohawk. And we gave it to her even if it was just for two minutes before shaving it all off. Sorry for the rant but I just got sad by that post and that she forced a 17 year old kid to shave her head.
I'm so sorry for your loss, your mother sounds like she was a wonderful person ❤❤❤
@@dim2118 thank you ❤️
And yes, she was. Every time she was in pain and felt shit from chemotherapy and all that, she could start crying because she was thinking of all small children with cancer who has to go through that and how hard it must be for them. She was thinking about others in that way. She was dying but instead of crying for herself, she was thinking of all those small kids who are too young to understand but has to suffer anyway. Her two last weeks, she was in hospital. Couldn’t move and was just in immense pain. My dad sat and slept on a chair beside her, holding her hand for those two weeks, only getting up to go to the bathroom. The nurses served him food and coffee and he never left her side. She died holding his hand.
your mom was an angel
@@zaina2538 thank you.
That was hands down the best sponsor lead up ever. Literally dying of laughter
I paused the video at the sponsorship segue to say this. THIS MAN IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED.
Yes. And this comment needs more likes
5:01 that was so smooth.. ngl I was invested in that story😂
Here’s the thing, cutting someone’s hair without their consent is considered assault. Hair can be really really important to a person and their identity and it’s not fair to expect them to just disregard that because you’re going through a trauma.
The fact that this 17 year old CHILD was emotionally manipulated into cutting her hair is just so sad to me. Like, she could be in her senior year thinking ab the fact that she’s gonna walk across the stage with a pixie cut instead of her long beautiful hair that she probably spent all of high school growing out.
Pixie cut? Shorter than that maybe 😢
that was one of the cleanest transitions into sponsor you've ever done.
i’m cryingg dylan’s transitions to his sponsors are always the best
s1: I love the "give bouquet to friend" idea so so much and I'd love to do this at my own wedding. HOWEVER this has to be cleared in advance with the bride(s) and groom(s) because otherwise it IS attention-grabbing and tacky. Ask in advance and then have the bride "throw" the bouquet and it becomes clear that the pair wants to share their joy with their friends.
If I were a guest at a wedding and someone proposed without having it cleared with the wedding couple, I'd die of second-hand embarrassement.
The cancer/hair story is giving major jealous of her daughter's beauty vibes. So sad that she subjected her own daughter to that kind of manipulation. heart breaking that the mother didn't have the strength to keep her own weaknesses from hurting her only daughter.
9:45 as somebody with a mom who also had cancer when I was a younger teen girl, this story is CRAZY, the last concern my mom had was losing her hair and while I understand that ppl cope differently, the mom literally manipulating her daughter into doing something she didn't wanna do sounds insane, I get why OP is reconsidering their relationship
I love that regardless of our gender we all are terrified of being caught in a cancer support hair salon
19:55 no that’s just what you call babies after miscarriages
The rainbow after the storm
The good after the bad
The thing about the story which begins at approximately 6:44 is that: yes, both people in a marriage need to pull around the same weight but - I'm pretty sure this man never did. If he does not do the dishes or clean the house or take care of his kids while he's unemployed, I'm 9999999% sure he never did when he was working. And from the info we get, I'm sensing the wife has always had to do all this by herself while working too.
1:40 the brother should have asked if it was okay beforehand. OP shouldn't have fired him, but talk with him about it instead.
For the first story I wouldn't have said "not the A-hole" I would have chose "everyone s*cks" ! Because it's always wrong to propose at someone else's wedding, if you don't have the blessing of the couple getting married. BUT firing him for that is wrong too. It has nothing to do with his work or the quality of his work. Both are wrong in their own way, and acting like A-hole.
I don't think Dylan is seeing the big picture here. Yeah some people want their wedding to be 'all about them' to an extreme. And that's unhealthy and so on. But there is a difference between wanting that, and not wanting someone to propose on a day that is supposed to be an expression of the love in YOUR relationship. I'm not one to believe in mariage and I don't want to be married. But I can understand people wanting to do it, and some of the reasons behind it. And I also can understand, that there are A LOT of other days someone could chose to propose to someone, that doesn't involve making it about themselves at an event that was not about them and probably meant a lot to those concerned.
It's not a problem to propose (like in the tik tok reffered by Dylan, or like at my sister's wedding were her brother in law proposed to his girlfriend after asking for permission to do so, to my sister and brother in law) if you have the blessing. But if you don't... that's a d*ck move !
Exactly, and reddit sucks for calling one the a-hole and not the other
exactly this. if my sibling, best friend, etc were to propose during my wedding i wouldnt let it ruin the entire day, but i would be like oh thats weird, but mostly hurt that they didnt run it by me and thought to use my event without asking me, i feel like that is disrespectful and i cannot imagine my sibling planning to propose and not telling me. that isnt our relationship so to be blind sighted like that would suck a lot. if it was pre-approved, totally okay, although i wouldnt want to get proposed to at someones wedding.
i think it is also another element of the brother working for OP. i work for my parents company, and working for family can be tough at times and navigating personal vs. professional feelings can be really difficult. I can totally see OP also feeling like he put all this trust into his brother to have him work at his company and couldnt even talk to him about the proposal. however, firing the day after was kind of an asshole thing. there needed to be a conversation about what happened and then wait like idk at least a week to let feelings settle and come up with a plan. in theory i do think the brother would have grounds to sue for firing without a cause. its also like your brother, i feel like they have a close enough relationship if they work together that it would suck to completely ruin that. the brother definitely sucked for proposing without asking, and OP sucked for firing him but they both need to sort it out and put it in the past before they completely ruin their relationship
i don't think it's an exaggeration in the slightest to say that that was the most brilliant slip-in (?) of a sponsorship i've ever seen
When the commentator was saying "get your daughter to safety", I don't exactly think that they were talking about physical safety. You can still live in a place that feels unsafe even if the bad person in question has never physically assaulted you. Emotional and mental safety is just as important as the rest, and if this mother is a master manipulator like she is described to be, she could easily put her daughter in emotional or even physical danger in the future. Forcing someone to change something about their body and saying "I'll hate you forever" if they refuse is the definition of emotional ab*se, so I definitely agree that the daughter needs to get out of that environment.
For the last story, one of my cousins turned out like that. My aunt is 50+, went through divorce, a lot of trauma for her part, so she couldn't bring herself to say "no" to her child. This girl gets literally *everything* her way, from fast food at 4 am from KFC's to her old broken toys never getting thrown out. So well... we're expecting another master plumber in a few years 😬
Yeah I have a cousin like that too. Her parents are better at parenting her now, but they weren’t when she was young. She used to bite, scratch, and throw things at me and, if I didn’t let her, her parents got mad at me. It was really frustrating. I understand that they wanted a child for a very long time, but now that they have a child, they should… y’know… parent her.
@@stingrae919 right? Like it's okay to love a child that came after loads of trouble, but you can't raise an asshole for that. What you said, I used to hear stuff from my parents because I talked about my cousin, but they had to admit she was definitely a spoiled brat.
I have a cousin like that as well. Same kind of situation, but my cousin hits and yells at people, screams and cries when someone, even his mother, politely tells him to clean something up or put his toys away, and it’s ridiculous.
He only learnt the words “thank you” from outside sources, and other polite phrases from school. It’s not my aunt’s fault she feels the way she does, but her son is her responsibility and she isn’t thinking about how he’ll act as he ages and becomes more entitled due to her lack of consequences.
If he hits someone, which he has done many times to family and even my elderly grandfather, she apologises for him. If he’s hitting someone with a toy, she’ll occasionally try to remove it from him, but if he cries she folds and lets him keep it and leaves the person being hit to deal with him themself.
It’s not fair to anyone around her, including family, because now I don’t want to see either of them because of this repeated behaviour and I feel guilty for it! It sucks, I get the original story completely
@@jay_6732 My hot take is that letting a child do whatever isn't being loving. Being loving is making sure they develop into their best self, and they're not going to do that if they are not taught to behave properly. Honestly, the child being the result of great difficulty is even more reason to make sure you do the job right. They may not get another opportunity to raise a kid, and they're taking their baby for granted.
@@Lotan_ someone gets it! And at the same time, if a child is unnecessarily "polite" as in never does anything mischievous, that is also alarming, it's just some things that crosses the limits, but every kid should do some harmless things during their childhood. A child doesn't understand the concept of rules, they learn that while growing up, and that's how it should go :)
I think you can support your mom, dad, or someone battling cancer or an illness by just being there for them. Yes, shaving your head because they are losing their hair is an excellent way to support them, but my mom had cancer last year and she lost all her hair, however, I would NEVER shave my hair just to support her, because I struggle with mental issues and shaving would have killed me. I was there with her on her chemo, radio, and all her doctors' appointments, and now she is cancer free and her hair grew so beautifully and I'm so happy for her.
the issue with the first story is that the brother didn't ask. the video of the tiktok you showed, the bride and groom were obviously in on it and were okay with it. if the brother had asked, it might have been different. to fire him is a little extreme, but i totally understand the frustration with the brother for blindsiding them like that.
Isn't it a tad dramatic to call it blindsiding though? Yeah, the brother could've chosen any day yet he did it at OP's wedding, but the proposal takes what, like 10 minutes away from their entire day? Plus, after the wedding day, everyone still congratulates the couple every time they see them for days. I think OP was a little insane for treating his own brother as if he was some stranger causing a scene and firing him over proposing. For sure it's always better to ask beforehand, but even without asking, it doesn't warrant getting this angry over something so harmless as your brother proposing on your wedding day.
It's not only extreme, it may be illegal, depending on where they live. I personally hope the brother who got fired can sue for wrongful termination, tbh.
@@liswaneI would argue that is absolutely a blindside. To pull something like that shows that the brother didn’t consider how it would make the bride and groom feel. Some people wouldn’t care and I bet most would hate the fact that they did it. It’s THEIR wedding/celebration. They went through the stress of planning it and paying for it. Sure would leave a bitter taste for me. To each their own. Should’ve at least asked. Nonetheless, Him getting fired for it was absolutely illegal for sure
He defo shouldn’t have fired his brother but I hate that people act like this isn’t a big deal. Like yes it’s my wedding it’s me and my spouses day don’t propose at my dang wedding…like put some effort into creating your own beautiful proposal?
@@blessingebonguko5585exactly. The brother is opportunistic because he saw a situation where he can propose with no extra effort on his part because everything was already set-up at the bride and groom’s expense.
okay but we can take a moment and appreciate how good the editing is😭
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is definitely a no-no, especially without permission AND during the speeches!! He was probably a nepotism hire too, so it’s not like he climbed his way to the top after years and years. OP, at the very least, owed him an explanation though.