Every James Cameron Movie Ranked

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  • Опубліковано 26 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,3 тис.

  • @Marioelarmario
    @Marioelarmario Місяць тому +7572

    Great job Schaff, now we need a ranking for every Adam Sandler movie

    • @03mbc
      @03mbc Місяць тому +130

      Am wondering what his throughts on Leo & Hotel Transylvania 4 is

    • @madsceptictrooper6803
      @madsceptictrooper6803 Місяць тому +109

      ​@@03mbc Adam wasn't involved with Hotel Transylvania 4.

    • @03mbc
      @03mbc Місяць тому +42

      @madsceptictrooper6803 oh yeah that right sorry been awhile since I seen jt

    • @andrewheaney4874
      @andrewheaney4874 Місяць тому +29

      But Adam Sandler isn’t a director? He’s an actor.

    • @Marioelarmario
      @Marioelarmario Місяць тому +79

      @@andrewheaney4874 yea but he has tens of movies all produced by him where hes the mc

  • @kingDowahs
    @kingDowahs Місяць тому +3941

    Fun fact: The Third Avatar movie is apparently showing Na’vi in a negative light because it’s about the fire tribe, meaning the entire Avatar Trilogy was just a last airbender reference

    • @AdrianAnimations360
      @AdrianAnimations360 Місяць тому +96

      Based

    • @valentinkambushev4968
      @valentinkambushev4968 Місяць тому +544

      So he is copying the BETTER Avatar!?

    • @jamiedonnelly5436
      @jamiedonnelly5436 Місяць тому +218

      When i was younger i remember being confused with avatar the last airbender like i kept asking to myself where are the blue people.

    • @Maretoast
      @Maretoast Місяць тому +7

      cool bro

    • @username.exenotfound2943
      @username.exenotfound2943 Місяць тому +78

      fire IS the most destructive element idk why people think this is an avatar reference if anything avatar "stole" the primary elements

  • @romanhoppe3868
    @romanhoppe3868 Місяць тому +2363

    The fact that Schaff will spoil the entire plot of True lies but won't give away the ending of the horse chase scene is the exact reason why everyone should be subscribed to this guy.

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +14

      True lies is awesome!!

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +6

      @@kdusel1991 facts

    • @pikacu-uh9po
      @pikacu-uh9po Місяць тому +4

      ​@@kdusel1991can you tell me what hapend

    • @mrreyes5004
      @mrreyes5004 Місяць тому

      I mean, except for when he dared to rank a Star Wars Sequel film over any of the Prequels. Smooth brain low IQ L+ratio moment right there.
      But otherwise, he's fine, I guess.

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +6

      @ Attack of the Clones is a godawful movie that people only look fondly on because of nostalgia. As a movie, it is only above rise of skywalker was the worst (rise of skywalker is so bad)

  • @DanGamingFan2406
    @DanGamingFan2406 Місяць тому +731

    There's no arguing that Terminator 2 is one of the greatest sequels ever made. Arnold nails the role, the action is insane, The emotional moments hit so hard, and that scene with him giving the thumbs up in the molten metal is iconic.

    • @m.nightshyamalan6954
      @m.nightshyamalan6954 Місяць тому +6

      To bad that abomination that is terminator 3 happened

    • @jessehcreative
      @jessehcreative Місяць тому +5

      So iconic it’s in BIONICLE Heroes

    • @aurabender150
      @aurabender150 Місяць тому +21

      ​@@m.nightshyamalan6954Eh, I don't think "abomination" is the best word to describe T3 since there are legit good things in it despite it's notable decline in quality.
      Genisys and Dark Fate though are actual disasters.

    • @ethejumper6568
      @ethejumper6568 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@aurabender150And there's the Thumb Up Scene which Rayman Legends referenced

    • @Killpop-ls4vb
      @Killpop-ls4vb Місяць тому

      @@m.nightshyamalan6954nowhere near as a bad as genisys

  • @DanGamingFan2406
    @DanGamingFan2406 Місяць тому +1037

    I love the ending where Schaff listed off bad movies and lost it talking about Nukie. I haven't heard him go that insane since Megamind didn’t use the dehydration gun.

    • @Mediocreshake-08
      @Mediocreshake-08 Місяць тому +19

      I couldn't sit through the first 15 minutes of the doodoo syndicate, goddamn

    • @stephendayrit4483
      @stephendayrit4483 Місяць тому +9

      Y'all need to check out the "filmography" of Dingo Pictures and Joshua and the Promised Land

    • @coledakers6127
      @coledakers6127 Місяць тому +10

      59:26

  • @justusb.plorer8773
    @justusb.plorer8773 Місяць тому +1565

    You have no idea how good it is to hear someone who doesn't like Avatar still talk about it in a fair, respectful, and mature way for once. There's a lot of people that could take notes from you.

    • @oakleyves
      @oakleyves Місяць тому +111

      i’m not a fan of the movies but i really love the world and can understand why people like it so much. i played the shit out of the original game

    • @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h
      @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h Місяць тому +52

      I’m not a huge fan of the films like at all I don’t care about the characters at all but this world and visuals are really cool

    • @bobisuncanny2760
      @bobisuncanny2760 Місяць тому +60

      I swear this film is one the most beloved worldwide but when you seek opinions in Internet. It receives so much hate

    • @basementdwellercosplay
      @basementdwellercosplay Місяць тому +15

      Thats how i feel about the Matrix, i didnt like it but i can recognize it being well made and written, just not my taste. I aint going to hate on the film just cause i personally didnt like it

    • @ShatteredIce
      @ShatteredIce Місяць тому +7

      ​@@bobisuncanny2760
      Because everything about it sucks except the visuals. It was just a tech demo.

  • @anaceweirdo1579
    @anaceweirdo1579 Місяць тому +3646

    3:35
    "But what if he's gay?"
    "💅Ugh, then ✨I'LL ✨ distract him💅"

    • @ChieftainFan
      @ChieftainFan Місяць тому +171

      That had me dying

    • @copfrown2397
      @copfrown2397 Місяць тому +28

      Yes 😊

    • @Roshi_710
      @Roshi_710 Місяць тому +33

      😂 Yeah it is hilarious ;)

    • @SlavoidUkr
      @SlavoidUkr Місяць тому +55

      I mean bro ain’t wrong

    • @liamphibia
      @liamphibia Місяць тому +39

      ✨Stellar Writing.✨

  • @romanhoppe3868
    @romanhoppe3868 Місяць тому +1850

    Fun Fact: When James Cameron pitchen Aliens, he didn't say a word. He just went up to the black board, wrote Alien, and then drew an S.

    • @sadham2668
      @sadham2668 Місяць тому +118

      $Alien?

    • @frazierk300
      @frazierk300 Місяць тому +22

      Pitchen?

    • @MarkiplierMeatMuncher8
      @MarkiplierMeatMuncher8 Місяць тому +102

      This is true, I was there

    • @J_Crane
      @J_Crane Місяць тому +76

      ​@@MarkiplierMeatMuncher8 Thanks for approving cinema gold, Markiplier Meat Muncher

    • @krishacz
      @krishacz Місяць тому +98

      and then turned the S into a dollar sign. that's the important part.

  • @gabyy1827
    @gabyy1827 Місяць тому +636

    Hearing Schaff saying that Terminator 2 is his favorite sequel implies that it's above Shrek 2, which truly means something

    • @MrWildcard531
      @MrWildcard531 Місяць тому +70

      Well, Terminator 2 is to live action sequels as Shrek 2 is to animated sequels and Kingdom Hearts 2 is to video game sequels...the part about Kingdom Hearts 2 has nothing to do with anything, I just finished playing through it for the first time and I really enjoyed it, easily in my Top 10 Favorite Games now.

    • @meurer13daniel
      @meurer13daniel Місяць тому +15

      ​@@MrWildcard531Try Alan Wake 2, sequence to a weird game where the weirdness in turned up to 11. 10/10 experience

    • @reallyreal1057
      @reallyreal1057 Місяць тому +7

      @@MrWildcard531Parappa the Rapper 2

    • @Potatoriply
      @Potatoriply Місяць тому +5

      its also arguable to say that its the greatest action film ever

    • @MrWildcard531
      @MrWildcard531 Місяць тому +6

      @@Potatoriply Honestly if it weren’t for T2, we wouldn’t have the best of the MCU films (Guardians of the Galaxy series, No Way Home, Infinity War and Endgame to be specific)

  • @DanGamingFan2406
    @DanGamingFan2406 Місяць тому +435

    James Cameron may not be the best person, I mean, he directed Terminator 1 and 2 yet let AI taint his movies decades later, but his masterpieces will always be iconic.

  • @bigbrowski410
    @bigbrowski410 Місяць тому +464

    Arnold’s performance in T2 is undoubtedly his best work also. The slow morph of the usual machine manner he speaks to hints of genuine emotion and curiosity, to the ending of “I know now why you cry”, is legitimately award worthy. You can see in that performance why he had such a grip in comparison to his contemporaries. T2 deserves its hype now and forever

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +11

      T2 is one of my favorite films. I was lucky enough to go to universal studios as a kid and I saw the 3D ride. That to me, is the real Terminator 3.

    • @hunterolaughlin
      @hunterolaughlin Місяць тому +3

      @@kdusel1991What about The Mitchells vs the Machines? That also feels more like the real follow-up to Terminator 2 than the actual follow-ups.

  • @Depth217
    @Depth217 Місяць тому +623

    15:34 the CG for Way of Water is also a welcome relief given how little time CG artists in the 2020’s have been given to make CG look good.

    • @freakda96
      @freakda96 Місяць тому +38

      It's kinda sad that Avatar Is still the peak of CGI because of this. Everyone else just stopped Caring

    • @Mediocreshake-08
      @Mediocreshake-08 Місяць тому +6

      The fact that movies today make the cg look good above all else is painful to me

    • @NounOzlos
      @NounOzlos Місяць тому +50

      @@Mediocreshake-08 But most don't, actually? The average CGI today is barely passable. Way of Water is the only film I can think of in recent memory to truly bring CGI to the next level.

    • @spongemaster
      @spongemaster Місяць тому +17

      ​@@NounOzlos There's also the Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy in which the apes look incredibly realistic. Though War was seven years ago and the CGI in Kingdom isn't quite at the same level so perhaps that isn't a "recent" example.

    • @sadham2668
      @sadham2668 Місяць тому +3

      @@spongemasterhonestly I think the “problem” with kingdom is that it’a environments are fully CG (which is fair enough considering when and where it takes place) but in the previous movies the apes felt like they actually existed.

  • @vaclavmacgregor2464
    @vaclavmacgregor2464 Місяць тому +2166

    So because James Cameron is Pro AI he has now betrayed the core foundations he crafted in the Terminators.

    • @Girlthatgotsweeptbybarrons
      @Girlthatgotsweeptbybarrons Місяць тому +272

      "Torment Nexus writer supports the real life Torment Nexus"

    • @smellyfrogg
      @smellyfrogg Місяць тому +9

      I have the same birthday as him 🙏

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +66

      ​@@Girlthatgotsweeptbybarrons I pretend all the terminator movies after 2 don't exist anyway.

    • @username.exenotfound2943
      @username.exenotfound2943 Місяць тому +17

      this AI you are taling about isnt true AI

    • @Utterlyderanged
      @Utterlyderanged Місяць тому +4

      ​@@Girlthatgotsweeptbybarrons I mean, it's not like he actually came up with it

  • @GUNUFofficial
    @GUNUFofficial Місяць тому +84

    Fun fact: in the motorcycle chase, robert patrick trained ro run so fast that they had to reshoot multiple times bcause he outran the motorcycle.

  • @BEANZ926
    @BEANZ926 Місяць тому +49

    There’s this one ad for t2 where Robert Patrick says, “Terminator 2, Judgment Day, the most spectacular film ever created” and it seems kinda really pretentious, but then you watch the movie and realize he was telling the truth man I love t2 so much

  • @davidfeltheim2501
    @davidfeltheim2501 Місяць тому +226

    Titanic has everything. It has the drama of Jack and his friends for younger viewers, it has period-accurate recreations, it has the intricate mechanics of the ship for the 40-year old dads, it has the romance between Jack and Rose, it has the disaster-survival 3rd act with amazing tension, the conspiracy subplot and a tragic ending. It's like all the genres.

    • @Kristyle187
      @Kristyle187 Місяць тому +28

      Right?! That movie does not get enough recognition for the INSANE level of historical accuracy and attention to detail that was poured into it. Cameron is widely known for his savant-level of perfectionism, and if you ask me, no other film demonstrates that more than Titanic.
      All the film sets taking place on the ship itself were painstakingly built to be near-perfect recreations, which must have required a mind-blowing level of research. Even more impressive than that was Cameron’s insistence on having dozens of actors (AND extras) represent many of the real passengers and crew who were on that ill-fated voyage. You can literally see certain actors portraying historical figures show up in certain scenes, then appear again later during the sinking scenes-and based on what was known at the time via witness accounts, each character is in the correct place around the correct time, EVEN if he/she is just an extra with NO speaking parts! (and yes, I’m aware of the controversial depiction of Murdoch… his actions and ultimate fate in the film are very much up for debate, as there’s no proof he shot himself or was the person behind the gunshots that witnesses claimed to hear that night.
      That’s how hell-bent Cameron was on depicting the true story of the real people on the Titanic and the horrors they faced. Rose and Jack were designed to hook us into the story-they are fictional stand-ins for the many married/engaged/potential couples who became separated forever that night, and they encourage the audience to feel that level of tragedy on a more personal level.
      Anyway, this film was released in theaters when I was 10 years old and was the main driving force behind my life-long passion for history, so I feel pretty strongly about it, haha. IMHO, Titanic is Cameron’s magnum opus.

    • @621tan
      @621tan Місяць тому +2

      That's why it's a four quadrant movie

  • @jaketaller8567
    @jaketaller8567 Місяць тому +603

    I think South Park said it best, James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron.

    • @RettMikhal
      @RettMikhal Місяць тому +29

      His name is Jaaaaaames Cameron!

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +14

      ​@@RettMikhal *flute noises intensify*

    • @BobBurgers1234
      @BobBurgers1234 Місяць тому +3

      That’s hard to say

    • @Kristyle187
      @Kristyle187 Місяць тому +7

      @@RettMikhal 🎶The bravest pioneer
      No budget too steep, no sea too deep
      Who's that?
      It's him, James Cameron! 🎶

  • @Monke12268
    @Monke12268 Місяць тому +290

    Don’t worry. The ‘I’ll be back’ thing is more of a general Arnold thing. He ends up saying it in a lot of his 80’s and 90’s action movies. This was just the first instance

    • @DepravedCoTApologist
      @DepravedCoTApologist Місяць тому +12

      It was probably also boosted a lot by its use in T2. Made it a staple of two movies that were culturally significant

    • @KS-xk2so
      @KS-xk2so 18 днів тому

      Dude..... he said it in all those other films as a Terminator call back lol its not just a random Arnold thing. Terminator made it big, then it was a staple inside joke he mentioned in tons of his movies afterwards.

  • @CyanClefairy
    @CyanClefairy Місяць тому +32

    Honestly the whole 'no one can name a character/repeat a quote from avatar' has never sat right with me anyway, someone who has had 'JAKE. MY JAKEEEEEE' as an inside joke between me and my dad for fifteen years

  • @RexyElite1510
    @RexyElite1510 Місяць тому +87

    Schaffriallas be like: Starts talking about how Great Terminator 2 is...
    5 minutes later:
    NUKKKKIIIIEEEEE 2!!!!!

  • @madsceptictrooper6803
    @madsceptictrooper6803 Місяць тому +754

    The fact the creator of Terminator movies is willing to support AI is just unbelievable.

    • @prologue_00
      @prologue_00 Місяць тому +30

      Unbelievably? Unbelievably what? Uh oh, I think the machines got to him!

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +12

      @@madsceptictrooper6803 and ironic

    • @sebastiancintron29
      @sebastiancintron29 Місяць тому +116

      And it's absolutely hilarious that Michael Bay of all directors is against it.

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +24

      @@sebastiancintron29 the way his scripts are written are often more incoherent than an ai’s attempt at being human

    • @Gojirawars03
      @Gojirawars03 Місяць тому +68

      @@sebastiancintron29Actually makes some sense to me. Even if you hate Bay’s stuff, he considers himself an artist. He blows stuff up better than anybody else, and he treats it as an art form. I can get behind why he’d be opposed to AI when he’s a genuine visionary filmmaker, even if the movies he makes are typically just light popcorn entertainment and crass humor.

  • @RileyShaw-ry7xz
    @RileyShaw-ry7xz Місяць тому +592

    You should do Guillermo Del Torro next

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +18

      Agreed!

    • @onepresence9460
      @onepresence9460 Місяць тому +20

      Definitely! I love his films and i really admire him as a filmmaker :)

    • @maxmantell5009
      @maxmantell5009 Місяць тому +13

      pinocchio would be #1

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@maxmantell5009 what would be his worst?

    • @one-onessadhalf3393
      @one-onessadhalf3393 Місяць тому +7

      @maxmantell5009 I doubt it, it wasn’t in his top movies list when it came out (that being said I did love that movie)

  • @DarwinskiYT
    @DarwinskiYT Місяць тому +284

    I kept seeing James' Letterboxd account full of James Cameron movies so I knew this one was coming

  • @wakawakatakeover
    @wakawakatakeover Місяць тому +17

    Okay but like... There's context and historical reasons for why "I'll be back." is such an iconic line!
    First of all, think about it. How much does the Terminator speak in the entire first movie? "Give me your clothes" and like... Maybe he asks for Sarah Conner at some point...? The Terminator barely speaks at all in the entire film. But you don't notice it at all. And yet he is SO terrifying! He is an absolute force of nature and SUCH a great character! He has this surprising level of charisma- so much so that you don't notice that he barely talks at all. But he doesn't need to speak for you to know what he's about. He shows up on the scene and you KNOW what's going to happen next!
    But also like... People did NOT want Arnold to speak in movies at all back then. They didn't like the fact that he has an accent (even though he's perfectly intelligible and entirely fluent in English, obviously) and in previous movies that he did, they actually dubbed over his voice. Apparently one of the reasons that the Terminator talks so little in his own titular film is because they thought that Arnold's accent was too goofy and would detract from the character. But no! It doesn't detract! Arnold perfectly sells it even though he has an accent! And the line and scene is iconic because of it! And because of that line and movie, Arnold got to be in A LOT more movies and they actually let him speak, dammit! Turns out that Arnold is just a good actor and no one cares about the accent, and the accent is, in fact, part of his charm!

  • @MainlineThruTheRockies
    @MainlineThruTheRockies Місяць тому +17

    The work and dedication that went into Titanic is genuinely insane, seriously if you haven’t seen it, go look up some behind the scenes stuff from the film, because it’s impressive as all hell. It shows that Cameron really knew what he was doing, and he understood every little detail about the Titanic’s story.

  • @ElliYeetYT
    @ElliYeetYT Місяць тому +111

    Schaff just naming all the funny bad movies he’s seen better than Piranha 2 in the ending of this video was way funnier than it had any right to be with not only the movies listed getting more ridiculous, but with Schaff getting progressively more unhinged.
    Funniest ending in a long time.

    • @WiloPolis03
      @WiloPolis03 Місяць тому +4

      That Nukie review was genuinely the hardest I've laughed at Schaff's content, I think ever. It's pure gold

  • @toonzach2870
    @toonzach2870 Місяць тому +54

    The way you described The Abyss kinda made it sound like a parody/amalgamation of James Cameron films.
    A sci-fi romance plot set under the sea with aliens? That's like his entire filmography.

  • @heyoyo10gaming4
    @heyoyo10gaming4 Місяць тому +154

    Okay maybe I'm just sleep deprived but the random Nukie rant event at the end of the video is the hardest I have laughed all year, God help me

    • @Netheraptr
      @Netheraptr Місяць тому +24

      The fact that it comes out of nowhere and the fact that it was apparently so bad that Schaff cried

    • @Space_Prince
      @Space_Prince Місяць тому +2

      @@NetheraptrNo but he cant just drop that and NOT make a video on it

  • @jalapenoofjustice4682
    @jalapenoofjustice4682 Місяць тому +30

    I think Robert Zemeckis would be an interesting director to rank in one of these because his movies range so wildly in quality

  • @themoviecritic1092
    @themoviecritic1092 Місяць тому +39

    Newt calling Ripley "Mommy" was so fitting for me, man. It might be on the nose, but it was naturally great.

  • @BingoBento
    @BingoBento Місяць тому +54

    The Nukie segment of this video is a true cinematic achievement

  • @fredererpower
    @fredererpower Місяць тому +241

    19:52 “What is Freddie Mercury doing with that missile?” is a sentence I would never have thought I’d hear.

  • @matheusmariani3108
    @matheusmariani3108 Місяць тому +125

    Imagine if, instead of the Titanic, Cameron made a film about Lusitania, which sank in less than 20 minutes.

  • @JennyGeistVids
    @JennyGeistVids Місяць тому +14

    I think a Peter Jackson ranking would be a cool next step, as he only has 14 narrative features that are balanced between all-time great blockbusters (LotR trilogy), infamous blockbusters (Hobbit trilogy), and a bunch of more niche stuff. Do it for Gollum.

  • @maxmeidl4909
    @maxmeidl4909 Місяць тому +29

    Cyborg: “We’re going back in time to 1984 to get Sarah Connor off the menu.”

  • @RickDaSquirrel
    @RickDaSquirrel Місяць тому +602

    2:15 #9 Piranha 2: The Spawning
    6:20 #8 Avatar (2009)
    11:04 #7 Avatar: Way of the Water
    18:31 #6 The Abyss
    22:34 #5 True Lies
    26:10 Ad Break
    29:34 #4 The Terminator
    33:34 #3 Titanic
    39:40 #2 Aliens
    48:47 #1 Terminator 2: Judgement Day

    • @Dreamaz_Original
      @Dreamaz_Original Місяць тому +16

      thx for Spoiler

    • @Uripinkas
      @Uripinkas Місяць тому +5

      So he basically forgot 2 movies

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +27

      ​@@Uripinkas he didn't direct Alita Battle Angel though. Robert Rodriguez did. He only produced it.

    • @Uripinkas
      @Uripinkas Місяць тому +4

      @@kdusel1991 i know

    • @Uripinkas
      @Uripinkas Місяць тому +3

      @@kdusel1991 i wasn’t talking about it

  • @Luigislotsaspaghetti
    @Luigislotsaspaghetti Місяць тому +158

    I misread the title as “Every James Cordon Movie Ranked”…

    • @tahjkuemmerle
      @tahjkuemmerle Місяць тому +31

      Same dude I was worried for his mental health.

    • @manuelinacio4038
      @manuelinacio4038 Місяць тому +30

      I think James has his limits.

    • @calebchristiansen3065
      @calebchristiansen3065 Місяць тому +7

      Peter Rabbit 🔛🔝 (I have never seen this movie)

    • @aidanredding8058
      @aidanredding8058 Місяць тому +19

      That's a fate worse than death

    • @Animestar21
      @Animestar21 Місяць тому +4

      Last Place: That Amazon Cinderella movie (unless there's something worse than that)

  • @dionysustheaceson3457
    @dionysustheaceson3457 Місяць тому +191

    I think an M Night Shyamalan film ranking would be really interesting to see. His polarizing filmography would be very interesting to view, and see placed outside of The Last Airbender in last place.

    • @UltimateDespairado
      @UltimateDespairado Місяць тому +20

      The Last Airbender may be one of (if not the) worst adaptations to ever exist
      They made Katara and Sokka white and Zuko Indian for some reason

    • @lucasrangel9150
      @lucasrangel9150 Місяць тому +3

      The Last Airbender is the only movie I’ve ever seen that was so bad that I have to watch it in multiple sittings

    • @Luke_SkywaIker
      @Luke_SkywaIker Місяць тому +2

      ⁠​⁠@@UltimateDespairado This might be an unpopular opinion, but I’ve never understood the criticism for “whitewashing” the Avatar cast, when a majority of the original VAs are white themselves. Either both instances are bad, or none of them are bad.
      Besides, the live action “film” had a LOT worse going for it than the ethnicity of the cast - even if the cast was predominantly Asian, it wouldn’t have mattered.

    • @UltimateDespairado
      @UltimateDespairado Місяць тому +9

      @@Luke_SkywaIker I’m just pointing out how terrible of an adaptation of a film the Last Airbender was. Do you want me to say that Aang became whiny and annoying and that they pronounce a lot of things wrong? Yeah they’re more “culturally correct” but the pronunciation is still a part of the adaptation process.

    • @whatthehellisthis
      @whatthehellisthis Місяць тому +4

      @@UltimateDespairado at least dev patel was able to regain his honor

  • @nezaniatoimya
    @nezaniatoimya Місяць тому +13

    When The Way of The Water came out, me and my family just moved to a different country. We really connected with Jake's family struggling to adapt in this new environment with new people. It was great. But i forgot practically everything else about the movie. Another example of the fact that you don't have to like the movie even if you relate to it immensely.

  • @wpk914
    @wpk914 Місяць тому +27

    I don’t know why but it’s always so satisfying to hear someone realize that Terminator 2 IS that actually good

    • @RoseGarden17
      @RoseGarden17 12 днів тому +2

      i had a similar experience earlier this year in hype for the anime..(which I haven’t seen yet) and yeah the first movie is very solid but T2 is a fucking miracle

  • @JAProductions494
    @JAProductions494 Місяць тому +102

    Me: “Hmm, Schaff has covered all of the movies yet there’s still 5 minutes of the video left. I wonder what the remaining content is?”
    Schaff: “NUKIE!!!”

  • @simonlouw7361
    @simonlouw7361 Місяць тому +154

    As someone whose 2 favourite movies are Avatar 1 and 2, I hugely appreciate that you actually give well thought out criticisms and explain in depth why you aren’t a huge fan of them, instead of just devolving into ‘Its just Pocahontas/Dancing with wolves in space!’

    • @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h
      @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h Місяць тому +15

      Exactly I don’t like these movies but I think it’s super lazy when people just say oh it’s just Pocahontas but blue

    • @osmanyousif7849
      @osmanyousif7849 Місяць тому +1

      Don't forget Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Ferngully....

    • @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h
      @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h Місяць тому +6

      @ there’s a huge difference tho Atlantis is actually good

    • @heehoopeanut420
      @heehoopeanut420 Місяць тому +12

      This. You can not like the movie but if you say "ooga booga space natuve americans" "wah he betrayed humanity for alien snatch" then I'm just assuming you didn't watch the movie😂 I disagree with the video, but his REASONING was understandable and he explained them well. We all have different tastes but its not just "this bad, I no like"😂

    • @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h
      @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h Місяць тому +3

      @@heehoopeanut420 honestly if I had to pick the world or Zoe Saldana Cheeks… I’m sorry world

  • @OmegaSpark01
    @OmegaSpark01 Місяць тому +34

    His name is James Cameron! The bravest Pioneer! No budget too steep no sea too deep! Who’s that? It’s him! James Cameron! James Cameron, explorer of the sea! With a dying thirst to be the first! Could it be? Yeah it’s him! James Cameron.

  • @leilaliebel8767
    @leilaliebel8767 11 днів тому +3

    "No line of dialogue from Avatar is memorable"
    False. "This is Papa Dragon" haunts my dreams to this day.

  • @zernek9199
    @zernek9199 Місяць тому +16

    My ONLY critique with Teminator 2 is that it dropped the horror. It's still amazing, and I love it, but I felt just a little bit disappointed when the movie ended and I realized I didn't feel the same sense of horror the first movie gave me. Don't get me wrong, the villain is horrifying in 2, but the movie itself definitely isn't a horror movie anymore.
    With that said, it's clearly not trying to be, and I think 2 is great because it does EVERYTHING it sets out to do.

  • @4546Bean
    @4546Bean Місяць тому +301

    Fun Fact: James Cameron is one of only 3 people who have been to the deepest place on Earth, the Mariana Trench.

    • @staringcorgi6475
      @staringcorgi6475 Місяць тому +28

      He did it to raise the bar of society as for why he went to the Mariana Trench

    • @username.exenotfound2943
      @username.exenotfound2943 Місяць тому +4

      don walsh and jaque picard DID go deeper though

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +2

      Who are the other 2?

    • @joshsobchak9902
      @joshsobchak9902 Місяць тому +3

      And also Critikal

    • @liammarney8154
      @liammarney8154 Місяць тому +31

      As of November 13, 2024, at least 27 people have made the descent to challenger deep, the deepest point in the Mariana Trench. Most of these were aboard the Limiting Factor, a submersible which has made 19 separate descents.

  • @redmii69
    @redmii69 Місяць тому +25

    "Name one scene you remember from Avatar"
    I can name two: the close up of the Na'vi face and the Na'vi falling

  • @CubedWatermelon-uy6ok
    @CubedWatermelon-uy6ok Місяць тому +349

    I've been watching you log these all on letterboxd and eagerly awaiting this ranking. Excited to see what is number one!

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +1

      As am I!!

    • @journeyburney
      @journeyburney Місяць тому +1

      I watched #1 the other day, I can say Schaf’s ranking is VERY accurate

    • @jethromcgl3697
      @jethromcgl3697 Місяць тому

      I like how the first film he watched after this video uploaded was Terminator 3

  • @brentsimpson5680
    @brentsimpson5680 Місяць тому +8

    Bro the disrespect for Return of the King at 33:56 in insane.

  • @cloudshines812
    @cloudshines812 Місяць тому +7

    Fun fact, James Cameron NEARLY directed a Marvel movie as initially he was put on as director for the first Spider Man movie. Apparently, he wanted to make a movie that was dark and gritty for Spider Man but eventually he left the project and Sam Raimi was brought on to bring it to life. Ironically enough, both Cameron and Raimi were horror directors and the first Spider Man is abnormally dark for a Marvel superhero movie

  • @typhoonthunder
    @typhoonthunder Місяць тому +217

    Nice list! I'd be totally down to see you do an Edgar Wright ranking next year, with films like Scott Pilgrim and the Cornetto Trilogy. Someone make it happen 👏

    • @thechompymage6432
      @thechompymage6432 Місяць тому +2

      Yes Please

    • @THEMAXIMUM7816
      @THEMAXIMUM7816 Місяць тому +15

      I would also like to see his take on Tim Burton. But I can imagine him putting Hot Fuzz at number 1

    • @andrewheaney4874
      @andrewheaney4874 Місяць тому +12

      @@typhoonthunder I definitely agree that he should talk about Edgar Wright’s movies, I actually think that would be a great video.
      But he’s only made six films, and that might not be enough for a full ranking. Maybe wait until he makes one or two more movies?

    • @AlexLeidy
      @AlexLeidy Місяць тому +7

      Edgar Wright be great because he has his Running Man remake coming out next year

    • @andrewheaney4874
      @andrewheaney4874 Місяць тому +9

      @@THEMAXIMUM7816 Tim Burton ranking is definitely a great choice.
      Hopefully he’ll eventually do some other acclaimed directors like Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorsese, David Fincher, Denis Villenueve, and Peter Jackson, as well as lesser acclaimed directors that still have good films under their belt, like Robert Zemeckis, Joe Dante, and M. Night Shyamalan.

  • @spacellama7851
    @spacellama7851 Місяць тому +66

    “Deep sea explorer James Cameron makes movies?”

  • @BearofLightness
    @BearofLightness Місяць тому +12

    Really having a lot of fun with these director rankings! I have a ton of gaps in my cultural knowledge when it comes to some of these big name directors/movies (for Cameron, the only movie I've seen in full is the first Avatar), and it's really cool to get your take on 'em so I have a better lens into stuff I hear discussed a bunch but haven't yet given its due.
    The Mystery Science Theater 3000/Rifftrax fan in me really appreciated that round o' bad movie suggestions at the end there. Haven't seen any of 'em, but a decent chunk of those are names I've seen in bad movie afficionado circles. I have heard that Nukie is a particularly abhorrent experience; fun to hear you lose your mind a li'l recounting it.

  • @nasnadine3131
    @nasnadine3131 Місяць тому +6

    YESSS this series is backkk, schaff i want you to know that these director ranking videos are just as engaging and entertaining as your rankings of animated movies. i've checked out so many new stories by being introduced to them in these videos, so tq! (guillermo del toro next pls)

  • @olizalzeortolan8322
    @olizalzeortolan8322 Місяць тому +37

    34:00 You forgot The lord of the rings The return of the king which got 11 oscars as well.

    • @SrCipotebatea
      @SrCipotebatea Місяць тому +2

      Shame on him for forgetting it 😭

  • @dustdust67
    @dustdust67 Місяць тому +128

    WE NEED RIDLEY SCOTT NEXT

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +8

      YES!!!

    • @etienneleroi9515
      @etienneleroi9515 Місяць тому +11

      Ridley Scott and John Carpenter

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +12

      @@dustdust67 that would probably take awhile. Ridley has almost as many as Spielberg

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +6

      ​@@ChrisThomson-y7l John Carpenter would be great too!!

    • @eliasmg9144
      @eliasmg9144 Місяць тому +2

      YES PLEASE

  • @RTB-x2f
    @RTB-x2f Місяць тому +42

    Take a shot every time he says "water"

  • @RanterInShades
    @RanterInShades Місяць тому +6

    James Cameron is the only director I can think of where you want to call him overrated, but then you're like "No, man, he EARNED that status!"

  • @JWe472
    @JWe472 Місяць тому +5

    Nobody's mentioning it, so here I am: The use of the Donkey Kong Country underwater music during the Avatar scenes is SICK! Haven't heard it in so long and got really nostalgic. Thank you editors

  • @turbobist2889
    @turbobist2889 Місяць тому +79

    If you do a Sam Raimi ranking, please us the keith david "welcome to hell" for the transition of drag me to hell.
    It's literally perfect for that.

  • @franklinlamar5584
    @franklinlamar5584 Місяць тому +30

    SCHAFFRILLAS!
    Drop a David Lynch ranked video and my life is yours!

  • @Emperor_Hirohito_
    @Emperor_Hirohito_ Місяць тому +440

    Babe wake up, new Schafrillas dropped

    • @Dopey_Dragon_Draws
      @Dopey_Dragon_Draws Місяць тому +6

      and hes talking about titanic

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому

      Among other James Cameron films!​@@Dopey_Dragon_Draws

    • @copfrown2397
      @copfrown2397 Місяць тому +2

      Yes

    • @cbmatty9262
      @cbmatty9262 Місяць тому +2

      I died 3 years ago, you need to let me go…

    • @bighairedyolol
      @bighairedyolol Місяць тому +6

      the fuck are you doing here, emperor hirohito?!?!?

  • @Arcsin27
    @Arcsin27 Місяць тому +8

    I simply must respect avatar for having such fascinating creature designs. I love designing creatures and seeing other designs as well. I sometimes get self conscious about my creatures, thinking I’ll get judged or seen as a weirdo, so it’s comforting to see such crazy creatures get mainstream with tons of respect!

  • @EthanHafernik
    @EthanHafernik Місяць тому +12

    40:50 FROM THE SCREEN TO THE RING TO THE PEN TO THE KING🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

  • @BrightlyBurn
    @BrightlyBurn Місяць тому +59

    "Terminator 2 is the best sequel of all time"
    But, Shrek 2-

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +8

      @@BrightlyBurn T2 is just more goated (I’ve thought that since I saw both in 2020 when I was 11)

    • @onepresence9460
      @onepresence9460 Місяць тому +6

      But, Spider-Man 2-

    • @ChrisThomson-y7l
      @ChrisThomson-y7l Місяць тому +4

      @@onepresence9460 that is for certain in the top tier of sequels. Too bad MJ sucks

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +6

      ​@@ChrisThomson-y7l Terminator 2 is so good that it made the other Terminator movies not canon in my eyes

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +4

      ​@@ChrisThomson-y7l but Godfather part 2...

  • @ItsJustTrevor
    @ItsJustTrevor Місяць тому +26

    33:26 At least Judgment Day is actually good. Everything after that gets progressively worse
    Speaking of which; Congrats to T2 for being #1 in this list

  • @mack4-_.
    @mack4-_. Місяць тому +26

    Hey James if it makes you feel better, Cameron has said that he would be interested in making an adaption of the book Last Train From Hiroshima AKA a film that isn't Avatar again.

  • @myeyesarespiders
    @myeyesarespiders Місяць тому +8

    Props to avatar for having a main character in a sci fi film in a wheelchair, that's actually pretty cool

  • @CrashDunning
    @CrashDunning Місяць тому +9

    Reminder that Quaritch and avatar Quaritch are two completely different beings. The latter just has the memories of the former. They're not the same stream of consciousness and I'm kind of looking forward to the two further splitting apart in personality, beliefs, goals, etc as the series progresses.

  • @thesdfrommw9311
    @thesdfrommw9311 Місяць тому +54

    Directors you should consider covering next:
    1. Noah Baumbach
    2. Stanley Kubrick
    3. Martin Scorsese
    4. M Night Shyamalan
    5. Don Bligh
    6. Ralph Bakshi

    • @Moomin.trolll
      @Moomin.trolll Місяць тому +5

      This is honestly a great list. Hope he does all of them especially Scorsese.

    • @2maka5u
      @2maka5u Місяць тому +5

      Scorsese? You mean the Shark Tale guy?

    • @Moomin.trolll
      @Moomin.trolll Місяць тому +1

      @ yes the shark tale guy

    • @etienneleroi9515
      @etienneleroi9515 Місяць тому +6

      Consider John Carpenter and Ridley Scott

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому

      ​@@etienneleroi9515 Scott and Carpenter would be great picks too.

  • @hotsoup1339
    @hotsoup1339 Місяць тому +6

    I really respect your analysis of Avatar, as someone who genuinely likes the films. You're entirely right about some people just going for the vibes - I enjoy these films entirely for the vibe of the world and am totally aware of just how lacklustre other elements of them are - and I really respect you not just going all in on hating the film the way many others do. It's not for everyone, and the place it holds in cinematic history for the advancements of the technology is really important regardless of the quality of the film itself.

  • @1234JohnstoneStudios
    @1234JohnstoneStudios Місяць тому +40

    James Cameron Movies: are sci fi adventures or have sci fi elements
    Titanic: Hold my ice water.

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +2

      True Lies wasn't sci fi though...

    • @pablocasas5906
      @pablocasas5906 Місяць тому +4

      More like, most James Cameron movies have a lot of water

    • @UltimateDespairado
      @UltimateDespairado Місяць тому +4

      There is that one fan theory that Jack is a time traveler
      But that’s just a theory
      A bad theory

    • @1234JohnstoneStudios
      @1234JohnstoneStudios Місяць тому +2

      @@UltimateDespairado Matpat would be ashamed

    • @pablocasas5906
      @pablocasas5906 Місяць тому

      @@UltimateDespairado the theory that Jack survived and became the Great Gatsby? 😆
      There's also the movie Revolutionary Road where DiCaprio and Winslet reunite as a couple again, I never saw it but people jokingly called it the true sequel to Titanic

  • @captainstage2009
    @captainstage2009 Місяць тому +7

    Would love to see you rank Denis Vellinueve’s films. He’s a very good modern director.

  • @ThenewTchannel
    @ThenewTchannel Місяць тому +7

    Hey Schaff, how about a Tim Burton ranking next? If you like campy movies with dated but still entertaining CGI, you've got Mars Attacks. If you like absolutely insane movies with off the wall action, Sleepy Hollow is right there. You've got some good Batman movies, the horror-comedy icon Beetlejuice, and the absolute classic that is Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
    Oh, and some remakes of both Disney and non Disney movies to balance out the good stuff

  • @emperortimeo6467
    @emperortimeo6467 Місяць тому +243

    I still find it pretty funny that it took 13 years for Avatar 2 to get released but its ratings that year were overshadowed by an animated film about a cat with a sword

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +21

      People wanted to watch the better animated kitty movie I guess 😂😂

    • @UltimateDespairado
      @UltimateDespairado Місяць тому +5

      This says a lot about our society

    • @joey7184
      @joey7184 Місяць тому +39

      @@UltimateDespairado yeah, that a great story beats great visuals every time

    • @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h
      @MRNEEDLEMOUSE-l3h Місяць тому +9

      And which one was better?
      I mean come on it’s obvious

    • @aaronbaker5406
      @aaronbaker5406 Місяць тому

      @@joey7184 But Puss in Boots: The Last Wish also has great visuals.

  • @ratchetxtreme6591
    @ratchetxtreme6591 Місяць тому +105

    Although It technically wouldn’t count for the ranking, probably one of my favorite films that Cameron was heavily involved with despite not directing is definitely Alita: battle angel,which I consider up there with speed racer as the best live action adaptation to manga/anime, and I really hope the sequel gets to see the light of day (I know Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron certainly feel the same way)

    • @kdusel1991
      @kdusel1991 Місяць тому +6

      I actually really liked Alita Battle Angel!

    • @SecretMagician
      @SecretMagician Місяць тому +17

      He should rank Robert Rodriguez movies next. The juxtaposition of Machete, Alita: Battle Angel and From Dusk till Dawn to Spy Kids, Sharkboy and Lavagirl, and Shorts will be insane.

    • @Playmaker6174
      @Playmaker6174 Місяць тому +5

      It's kinda sad to me how Alita still hasn't gotten a sequel yet, the first movie still holds a special place in my heart there, but when the time comes I shall hope for the best x)

    • @niccolorichter1488
      @niccolorichter1488 Місяць тому +4

      he wrote the sctipt for Alita , but wasnt a director

    • @YAH93
      @YAH93 Місяць тому +4

      @@Playmaker6174 You can thank Disney for that. Besides, the movie had a 270 mil dollar budget and grossed 410 million, which is considered a flop. The greatest mistake was to release it that close to Captain Marvel.

  • @noahzinar1178
    @noahzinar1178 Місяць тому +97

    34:00 You left out The Return of the King which is ALSO won 11 oscars!

  • @dunsparce4prez560
    @dunsparce4prez560 Місяць тому +4

    Awesome, I’m in the hospital and there’s a new Schaff video. I needed this

  • @PatrickPerkins-r9i
    @PatrickPerkins-r9i Місяць тому +5

    I'd love to see you do a Chris Columbus ranking sometime. He directed a lot of well-known movies(Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire, the first two Harry Potter movies, that gods-forsaken Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief movie), yet I don't think he's quite as celebrated as a classic director as Spielberg and Zemeckis are.

  • @liamphibia
    @liamphibia Місяць тому +81

    4:06
    Schaffrillas finding "scuba sex" interesting in this boring piranha film had me howling with laughter! 🤣

  • @manuelinacio4038
    @manuelinacio4038 Місяць тому +74

    I'm gonna be the one to say it. I don't like James Cameron as a person(even before the whole AI situation). However, to deny that he is a great filmmaker is to deny reality.

    • @leithaziz2716
      @leithaziz2716 Місяць тому +12

      I figured you were gonna bring up his relation with the crew during the making of Aliens and him not understanding why Unions exist.
      Of course, a competent filmmaker undeniably, but yikes.

    • @liamnicol9390
      @liamnicol9390 Місяць тому +6

      The guy who made this video literally said that in the first three minutes

    • @thekiss2083
      @thekiss2083 Місяць тому +2

      Those are both extremely commonly-held opinions

  • @JacKAB0Y
    @JacKAB0Y Місяць тому +30

    2:05 YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?! AM I WRONG?!”

  • @mcschwifty199
    @mcschwifty199 Місяць тому +2

    Schaff manically ranting about NUKIE is one of the best things I've seen from this channel

  • @AtlasBlizzard
    @AtlasBlizzard Місяць тому +4

    I think it's perfectly obvious why Kyle and Sarah sleep together. He's already in love with her, and he's the only person left in her life that she trusts. People sleep together for way worse reasons.

  • @uhok2584
    @uhok2584 Місяць тому +40

    Your director ranking notifications are a real test of my reaction time

  • @jayemar527
    @jayemar527 Місяць тому +18

    WOOOH YEAH was waiting for this. I LOVE James Cameron movies (as much as I hate James Cameron) and I'm so excited you got around to talking about them.
    If you wouldn't mind a suggestion, could we see Tim Burton movies down the line? They range from so bad they're good to actually really great and I would love to see that ranking.

  • @UndeadNerdT800
    @UndeadNerdT800 Місяць тому +39

    49:23 welcome to the club

  • @funnyhappystudios
    @funnyhappystudios Місяць тому +7

    While I clicked with Jack and Rose in Titanic, I couldn’t get a 100% invested in their story when over a dozen NAMED characters get killed off with various gruesome deaths (which felt disrespectful for the real victims in the Titanic tragedy). It gave me the uncomfortable feeling that it was all “boat first, romance last”, as we see so many one off side characters, and almost every location on the boat that isn’t entirely associated with the main duo. It’s especially evident judging the numerous deleted scenes (a little girl, Cora, gets killed off), and the background of the film’s production.
    Originally, James Cameron - who has an obsession with the Titanic boat and sinking, wanted to make a documentary about the Titanic, but needed the funding. When they wouldn’t fund the project, he came back suggesting that it would be a Romeo and Juliet story, and got accepted. Numerous times he overshot the budget to make the Titanic set as precise as possible, such as adding very expensive wallpaper. Again. “Boat first, romance last.”

  • @jackblack8597
    @jackblack8597 Місяць тому +5

    Background music list:
    9. Mementos, Persona 5
    8. Bramble Blast, Super Smash Bros. Brawl
    7. Aquatic Ambience, Donkey Kong Country
    6. Buoy Base Galaxy, Super Mario Galaxy
    5. ?
    4. Great Bay Temple, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
    3. Last Day, the Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
    2. Ridley Boss Theme, Metroid: Other M and ? (This movie used two songs, the second of which I don't know)
    1. ?

  • @josephtafur
    @josephtafur Місяць тому +14

    I'm a Celine Dion fan
    Thank you for pointing out her preformance of My Heart Will Go On was the Demo Recording

  • @potatoqueen5248
    @potatoqueen5248 Місяць тому +18

    My biggest memory of Avatar is staying hone to play Mario Kart Wii instead of going to see it.

  • @mattiismouse1086
    @mattiismouse1086 Місяць тому +5

    Honestly i think your director rankings are my favorite! Sure, animated films are cool, and games have good rankings, but i love hearing you talk about a wide variety of movies, and to learn about movies i may not have heard about before

  • @brunswick-k6c
    @brunswick-k6c 27 днів тому +3

    2:15 Piranha Part II The Spawning. 9th
    6:20 Avatar. 8th
    11:03 Avatar The Way of Water. 7th
    18:31 The Abyss. 6th
    22:33 True Lies. 5th
    29:33 Terminator Part I. 4th
    33:32 Titanic. 3th
    39:39 Alien's (Sequel). 2th
    48:47 Terminator II Judgment Day. 1st

  • @prime7213
    @prime7213 Місяць тому +3

    Watching Terminator 2 as a teenager with no prior knowledge of who was good and who was bad is probably my favorite film watching experience ever. I have done my absolute best to show that movie to friends with zero spoilers because I want every film lover to experience that feeling.

  • @giorgimamalashvili4220
    @giorgimamalashvili4220 Місяць тому +11

    If there's one thing i can compliment about the Avatar movies is that they look stunning...and water in these movies make me so thirsty

  • @KomodoKrap420
    @KomodoKrap420 Місяць тому +115

    Way back when I was just a little bitty boy
    Living in a box under the stairs
    In the corner of the basement of the house
    Half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
    You know the place
    Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy
    Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
    My mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast
    Aww, big bowl of sauerkraut
    Every single morning
    It was driving me crazy
    I said to my mom
    I said "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
    And my dear, sweet mother
    She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
    And she leaned right down next to me
    And she said "It's good for you"
    And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
    And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
    Until I was twenty six and a half years old
    That's when I swore that someday
    Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
    Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
    And the towels are oh so fluffy
    Where the Shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
    And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel
    Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah
    Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
    Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
    To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
    I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
    That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque
    Oh yeah
    You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
    And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
    Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women
    With excruciatingly severe body odor
    And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
    The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
    And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
    And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
    And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
    And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
    Except for me
    You know why?
    'Cause I had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Had my tray table up
    And my seat back in the full upright position
    Ah ha ha ha
    Ah ha ha
    Ah
    So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
    I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days
    Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
    And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
    And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
    But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
    Where the towels are oh so fluffy
    And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
    It's OK, they're clean
    Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
    And I turned on the SpectraVision
    And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
    That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door
    Well now, who could that be?
    I say "Who is it?"
    No answer
    "Who is it?"
    There's no answer
    "Who is it?"
    They're not sayin' anything
    So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
    It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
    Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
    So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
    And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
    "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
    And he's like "Tough"
    And I'm like "Give it"
    And he's like "Make me"
    And I'm like "'Kay"
    So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
    And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
    And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
    Yes indeed, you better believe it
    And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
    And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice
    And you know what it said?
    I'll tell you what it said
    It said
    "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
    "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
    "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
    "If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
    In Albuquerque
    Albuquerque
    Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
    But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
    I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
    But first, I decided to buy some donuts
    So I got in my car and I drove over to the donuts shop
    And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
    And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
    I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
    I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
    I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
    He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
    I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
    He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
    I said "You got any apple fritters?"
    He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
    I said "You got any bear claws?"
    He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
    "No, we're outta bear claws"
    I said "Well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"
    He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
    I said "OK, I'll take that"
    So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
    And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
    Oh man, they were just going nuts
    They were tearin' me apart
    You know, I think it was just about that time
    That a little ditty started goin' through my head
    I believe it went a little something like this
    Doh
    Get 'em off me
    Get 'em off me
    Oh
    No, get 'em off, get 'em off
    Oh, oh God, oh God
    Oh, get 'em off me
    Oh, oh God
    Ah, aah, aah
    I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
    Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
    Like a constipated wiener dog
    And as luck would have it
    That's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
    Her name was Zelda
    She was a calligraphy enthusiast
    With a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
    I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me
    She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"
    That's when I knew it was true love
    We were inseparable after that
    Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
    We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
    The world was our burrito
    So we got married and we bought us a house
    And had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly
    Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah
    But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
    She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
    I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"
    "I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment"
    So we broke up and I never saw her again
    But that's just the way things go
    In Albuquerque
    Albuquerque
    Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
    Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
    That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
    I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire out with my face
    Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
    I was gettin' a lot of attitude
    Ok, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
    Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
    When I see this guy Marty
    Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
    So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
    And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
    "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
    So I did
    And then he gets all indignant on me
    He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
    Well, that's just great
    How was I supposed to know that?
    I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
    Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname, Torso-Boy
    So what's he complaining about?
    Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
    This guy comes up to me on the street
    And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days
    Well, I knew what he meant
    But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
    And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
    And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
    But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
    You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation
    Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?
    Anyway, um, um, where was I?
    Kinda lost my train of thought
    Uh, well, uh, OK
    Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
    But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is
    I hate sauerkraut
    That's all I'm really tryin' to say
    And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
    And find yourself in an existential quandary
    Full of loathing and self-doubt
    And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
    At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
    Somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours
    There's still a little place called
    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    I said "A" (A)
    "L" (L)
    "B" (B)
    "U" (U)
    "Querque" (querque)
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
    Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

  • @rrrrichh
    @rrrrichh Місяць тому +52

    terminator 2 was so good it convinced my chinese immigrant dad about western superiority

    • @lillianaoneal9231
      @lillianaoneal9231 Місяць тому +3

      This reminds me of the time I put on Tropic thunder for my Vietnamese friend and he LOVED it

  • @TheMonicaAlison
    @TheMonicaAlison Місяць тому +2

    Amazing video, can’t wait for the inevitable Francis Ford Coppola video

  • @skeepodoop5197
    @skeepodoop5197 Місяць тому +4

    After watching Terminator, and Terminator 2, I have to say that the original was amazing, but the sequal went SO damn hard.
    Only thing I could think of that I felt was odd about Terminator 2, was how she wasn't sent to prison her whole life for terrorism.
    I guess the Psychiatrist could've vouched for her since he saw two Terminators clear as day in the hospital. So could the tech guy's wife. So uh? Maybe that's how she got away with terrorism?

  • @voidastralbirth
    @voidastralbirth Місяць тому +18

    7:10 “Heh, that moron’s going to die.”
    -Tsu’tey (I think that was his name, he was actually kind of cool), Avatar